BMWs, Submarines. Sea Wifes and gerbilling

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Posted: Wed Apr 20, 2005 3:07 am

LMAO, what a great bait! Bargaining about cupholders on a submarine is Monty Python material, and PTF may very well become a baiter cliche, keep up the good work!

Guest

Whats going on with this??

We need more Twisted Evil

Posted: Mon Apr 25, 2005 8:00 am

Ive been away for a week with work Rolling Eyes

Hopefully I should have some new updates soon. Very Happy

Posted: Mon Apr 25, 2005 8:21 am

Heres a one I sent before I left and a few he sent when I was away(A Bit borring)

Quote:

Hi Grazitto

This sounds like a great price.

I am going to be uncontainable for the next week as I am going to
Switzerland to view some dock yards for mooring the submarine.

I have placed my property on London on sale with a estate agent at a
low price so this should sell quickly and then I will have the money
to proceed with this purchase.

I will email you on my return.

Ben

Quote:

Dear Sir,
I am glad that the price is ok by you.I want to know if you can depsoite $20,000 to enable us to commence work on the submarine and also to be able prepare all the essential documents of the submarine, so that when you secure the remaining money for the submarine we will then deliver it .This will also speed up the transaction .
Thank you for your patronage.
Regards.
Mr Grazitto

Quote:

Sir,
We have been waiting to hear from you, please get back at us once you return from your trip so that we can get things moving .
REPLY ASAP.
Mr Grazitto

Posted: Mon Apr 25, 2005 8:36 am

Ok hot of the press my latest email Very Happy

Quote:

Hi Gazzitio

I have found a great Little boating lake in Switzerland it is very beautiful. It has swans and ducks and even a little Island. It will be grate for parking my submarine when on holiday.

When I was a way I thought of a few more questions I had.

1) Please can you confirm it is squid proof.

2) I don't what it to be stolen by joy riders so can you tell me has it got chip and pin security on all the doors?

3) Has it got retractable crawling legs for seabed exploration?

4) Does it have a water bed?

5)Does it have a built in scientific laboratory?

6)About the 'sick room' is it fully equipped with the latest CAT scanner?

7) it is possible to perform a Level 4 diagnostic ?

Also I concerned that I might get lonely on the long sea voyages. Is it possible for you to find me a wife? I would be willing to pay money. Shocked

Thanks

Sir Ben

Posted: Mon Apr 25, 2005 9:48 am

This is really cracking me up...
If you end this bait please let us know, i'm sure the lad will get swamped in submarine orders...

Posted: Mon Apr 25, 2005 4:47 pm

This guy is unreal Laughing

Quote:

Dear Sir,
Am happy that you happen to find a place for the submarine in Switzerland, as regards to your questions :
The squid proof of the submarine is 100% effective and i can assure you of that.

The submarine has a special built anti-theft in it and also has chips and pin security at all entrance of the submarine as to prevent unauthorised entrance.
It has a crowling legs that is retractable which enables it to move on the sea bed , virtualy every modern submarine has this feature.and it does have a water bed.

For sceince research purposes the submarine has a sceince laboratory built in by the manufacturer.And there is also a CAT scanner in the sick room of the submarine.
The submarine is very equipde with sceince equipment , so you can perform many kinds of diagnostic in it including Level 4.
Sir we at are your service , you are not the first to ask us for a sea wife , other customers do , so we will certainly get one or more for you Wink

but this will be after the transaction.

We will be expecting your payment by this week, so we need to know when you will be making payment so that we can provide you our bank account details.

Please get back at us.
Regards,
Mr Grazitto

Posted: Mon Apr 25, 2005 8:52 pm

Can he find me a wife Question

Quote:

Hi Gragritto

I will nead to arange at least one sea wife before making any vessil purchaces.

Please can you sort this for me.

Up on completion of this i will arange the deposit. My house in london has not sold yet. As soon as it has done I will arange the rest of the payment and delivery.

Thanks

Sir Ben

Not quite a Newb Joined: 20 Mar 2005 Posts: 71

Sea wives? What the...!

Guest

Read this forum for ages and this one is the first that's prompted me to post. Fantastic work.

You need to push the seamen you'll need.

Posted: Tue Apr 26, 2005 4:50 am

Badger? Almost too good to be true!!!

Not quite a Newb Joined: 11 Feb 2005 Posts: 24

Quote:

6) Is the stereo the version that plays both cds and 8 track?

Thanks

Ben

Quote:

The stereo can play cds and more than 8 tracks.

This one killed me... No need to chuck your 9 or more track cd's Very Happy

Posted: Wed Apr 27, 2005 1:04 pm

Its taken a day or for him to reply (I think he is going off me)

Quote:

SIR,
WE HAVE MADE AN ARRANGMENT FOR A GOOD SEA WIFE FOR YOU
, SHE SPEAKS GOOD ENGLISH AND IS WILLING TO DO THE
JOB Wink

, WE WILL INTRUCE HER TO YOU AFTER YOU MAKE YOUR
DEPOSITE .

MR GRAZITTO

Posted: Wed Apr 27, 2005 1:08 pm

Hopefull some money talk will fix that Very Happy

Quote:

Hi Grazzito

This realy is good news. I am very impresed with the service your company offers.

The house I am selling in london has a buyer and I should have then money in the next week or so.

I am ready to make payment of the deposit. Please advise me who to make the cheq payable to and were to send it.

Is it posable for you to take a photo of the sea wife for me?

Thanks

Sir Ben

Posted: Wed Apr 27, 2005 10:02 pm

A submarine seawife? Does she have no legs and a scaly fish tail? Laughing

_________________
history of recession

Posted: Wed Apr 27, 2005 10:23 pm

@Dj Tricky

Quote:

SHE SPEAKS GOOD ENGLISH AND IS WILLING TO DO THE JOB

Im guessing its a onboard hooker Laughing

Not quite a Newb Joined: 20 Mar 2005 Posts: 71

Ask the mugu for a mermaid! Laughing

Posted: Thu Apr 28, 2005 12:45 am

More to the point, what's her PTF?

Posted: Thu Apr 28, 2005 3:14 am

^^^^^^^^^^
considerng that when I created it was a bullshit measurement of the displacement between the twin rotors and the cold air intake (or something like that) it might be hard to measure this on a mermaid....
But then again this is Mr Mike, and if Mr Mike can get a submarine with cupholders, Mr Mike can do anything Laughing

_________________
Mercedes O370

Posted: Thu Apr 28, 2005 3:44 am

Here is one thing I always do with my mugus to make them see that I'm serious then I can ask them for whatever crap I'm willing to; ask for a bank account to transfer the money to, then tell him you went to the bank and tried to transfer the amount but they told you the other bank denied your transfer request and sent a note that the account is beeing investigated for fraudulent transactions and ask for his lame explanation Shocked

Then you can ask him for a picture of the wife holding a sign "I'm a guaranteed vergin" or any thing like that Very Happy

Posted: Fri Apr 29, 2005 8:00 am

Quote:

Dear Sir,
Thank you very much for appreciating what we are doing ,please tell us how much you want to deposite .Payment should be wired to our bank account , it is very necessary that you try and make a deposite of the amount you have at hand now while waiting for you house to be sold , this will enable secure the submarine for you and also prepare it documents .
So Sir , we believe that you will definetly make your deposite by monday next so that when your house is sold , you can then make remaining payment.
We will provide you our bank account details for the wire transfer to enable you make your deposite by monday.

We will send you picture of your sea wife as soon as it is ready.
Regards
Mr Grazitto

Quote:

Listen Gazzoto

I am ready to make the deposit.

But first I must see a picture of the sea wife. I am not preparied to spend long sea voyages with only a old hag for company.

I will arange payment as soon a I am happy with the sea wife.

Thanks

Sir Ben

Guest

This thread is the funniest thing on the entire internet. clapping

Wow.

Just...

Wow.

Posted: Sun May 01, 2005 5:00 pm

That money talk did the job three emails Very Happy

Quote:

Dear Sir,
We have been able to get the pictures of the sea wife
we arranged for you, we where able to make it upto two
of them , their pictures is attached with their name
.So you can choose from the two or take the two girls
for your sea wife .
When you are through with picturse please get back to
us for more details.
We are expecting your deposite by next week .
Regards
Mr Grazitto

attached were some pictures of two "Sea Wifes"

Quote:

SIR, WE WERE ABLE TO GET ONE MORE SEA WIFE FOR YOU , NOW THEY ARE THREE IN NUMBER, SO PLEASE MAKE YOUR CHOICE AND GET BACK TO US .....
MR GRAZITTO
ZITTOVESSELS LTD

And another Email becasue I did not reply for a day

Quote:

Dear Sir,
I writting to confirm if you did receive the pictures of the sea wives that i sent to you,if you did why not get back to us so that we can know your choice.
We will send you our bank account details on our next mail as against monday to enable to make your deposite.
Regards.
Mr Grazitto

Posted: Sun May 01, 2005 5:02 pm

I decide to reply

Quote:

Hi Gazzoto

Thanks for the pictures the seem like very nice looking women.

Katerina and Vera caught my attention the most.

I would like to know some more details about them before I make payment though.

1) What nationality are they (I don't want passport problems)

2) Are they naughty girls?

3) Where do they draw the line?

4) Would I have to pay them much?

Thanks

Ben

Posted: Mon May 02, 2005 9:19 am

Quote:

Dear Sir,
We took time to select these women for you knowing what they to are to do for you, we made sure that they do not have any passport problem, Vera Mayday is from United kingdom while Katerina is from Spain.
They are as naughty as you can think of .......... Embarassed

These girls are equal to task and posses all it takes to be a good sea wife...
The amount to be paid to he girls depends on how long your vacation is going to last , for one month is $3,500.
Mr Grazitto

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