Poverty Sucks: NAMBLA Prison Blues (7/5)

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Posted: Fri Feb 25, 2005 10:45 pm

This is a modality that I haven't seen before. No trunk boxes, no demurrage, no barristers, no 100% risky free; instead they go straight for the "give me some money". I've probably heard the last, but its good for a chuckle if nothing else.

Quote:

hellow sir
how are u and ur family ,i hope all is well if so thanks
be to
our almighty GOD i recieved ur email adress throuhg internet sir my
story
may sound so funny and stupid to people hearing but i must say it
out,for am
a nigeria a family of 8 am the first son we are from a poor wretched
home
sir am soliciting for ur fanacial support assitance so that i and my
family
will not die in hunger and lack for i know that it impossible for some
one
to help somebody that is not his family member not to talk of somebody
u
dont know his family background nor a foriegner ,for i have done
everthing
humantaian possible to see that we succide in life all to no avail cos
no
help from no were. for i believe that god that give me this knowledge
to
writte this leter to u will use u to help me and my family so that we
will
not die in hunger and lack for i pray that our GOOD GOD will bless u
and ur
family and replenish ur pocket for no amount is too small for ibelieve
that
any amount we make us to rise to the top in jesus name amen i pray
that
GOD wiil protect u from all ur edaevour amen
THANK JOE
CRYING FOR UR HELP
did know that poverty is not good ,for am sincerly of what am saying
for
lying is a sin before OUR GOD for there so many nigerian that write u
foriegner saying they bussines proposal where as they dont have
looking for
who they will dupe but GOD that i am saing the truth please sir try in
as
much as possible to help so that we will die in hunger THANK as u help
us
OUR GOD WILL BLESS U AMEN please sympathies with my beging for iam on
knee
in name ofGOD beging so that we will not die in hunger thank amen

Oh, Joe... I don't think it was God who sent you to my inbox... Twisted Evil

Quote:

Hi Joe!

First off, I am not a sir. I am a woman. Secondly, I actually did know that poverty is not good. In fact, if you dont mind me being so blunt, it really sucks dog ass.

However, I would love to send you something to help you out of your terrible plight.

Love,
Molly Ringwald

Quote:

HELLOW MADAM THANK U FOR REPLY ME AND GOD BLESS U MADAM IF IT WILL BE POSSIBLE TO SEND US SOMETHING TRY WESTERN UNION MONEY TRANSFER PLEASE TELL ME SO THAT I WILL SEND U A NAME U WILL USE PLEASE MADAN U ARE FROM WHICH COUNTRY
THANK JOE

Joe, I was country when country wasn't cool. (Dang... who sang that song? Was it Dolly Parton or Barbara Mandrell?)

Quote:

Joe:

I am a woman of some considerable wealth, and your plea has deeply touched me. I want to send you $2,000USD. However, Western Union has placed some restrictions on the sending of monies to countries that are well known havens of Al-Quiche terrorists. Therefore, they have provided me with some forms that you will need to complete and send back to me as an email attachment.

Also, do you have a picture of your family? I want to know exactly who I am helping. Hold a sign that says "I support NAMBLA" in the picture so that I can be certain of your identity. NAMBLA is a charity that I support thats helps to touch young boys in meaningful ways.

God bless you and your sweet family!
Molly Ringwald

I borrowed EgyptKah's brilliant WU security forms off her website. I have yet to get my first "holding a sign" photo trophy, but I have a good feeling about this. Its a lot like the time I had a really good feeling about buying all that Enron stock in 1999.

If Joe doesn't throw me away like a used Kleenex, I'll keep you updated.

Posted: Fri Feb 25, 2005 10:55 pm

Hi Larry.

I dunno if you saw the WU form I added to be used in addition to EK's forms, but if you want to drive your lad even more nuttier, have him fill out mine in addition, LOL.

Here's the thread about it:
http://www.419eater.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=35016

Toodles.

Toade

Posted: Fri Feb 25, 2005 11:34 pm

@toade: That is a work of machiavellian genius. I will gleefully send it to future lads! clapping

Posted: Tue Mar 01, 2005 9:42 pm

Quote:

hellow madam how will i thank u may our good GOD bless u and replenish ur pocket madam by monday i will send u picture and the requirement thank joe

Quote:

Joe:

$2,000 is nothing compared to the privledge of getting to help those less fortunate than myself. In fact, I have told my friends here at the NAMBLA charity organization, and they are very excited to see pictures of you and your wonderful family.

Remian forever blessed under the loving guidance of the Nazgul
Molly Ringwald

Quote:

hellow madam thank u for restoring my hope for well madam this is my own personal picture for i have told my family about u for all are very happy to hear .that please i dont know how soon it will be for we dont a family group picture for now but we are planing to take as soon as possible please consider us for i promise i will send it as soon as it ready and thank god bless u

thank best regard

joe and thefamily

Quote:

please madam excite patience with me for am making arangement to our picture to u please i will soon send it ,thank and god bless u all amen

Updates as they happen!

Posted: Fri Mar 04, 2005 7:04 pm

Updates!

Quote:

please madam excite patience with me for am making arangement to our picture to u please i will soon send it ,thank and god bless u all amen

I've got all the time in the world, big fella.

Quote:

Joe:

I have set up a "corporate challenge" within the NAMBLA organization. I have some wonderful news, Joe. NAMBLA has agreed to match my $2,000 contribution! That's right! We can send you $4,000 USD to help you out of your horrible plight!

Joe, please get those Western Union forms filled out just as soon as you can. I know it is a hardship given your horrible status, but just look at it as a light at the end of the tunnel!

Much love,
Molly Ringwald

Quote:

hellow madam please
i dont know how to thank you well all what i have to
say is that GOOD GOD will bless u and keep u and ur
family alive for evermore and god will replenish ur
pocket in hundered fold amen and for ever i and my
family will remain faithful to u, for i dont ever
believe there are still people like u who are willing
to help the poor people may GOD bless u again ,again
,again. well madam i have made enquireing on
westernunionmoney transfer they say that there is no
form to fill and that this how they do it if i send a
name of which u will use to send it that all what u
will do is to send me the secret code , the country
which the money come from with u send ing all the
information that when i go to thier office here iwill
then fill form well madam reply quick so that i will
send the name u people will use to send it thank and
god bless u people and also thank god for send u into
our life amen

THANK AND GOD BLESS U FROM JOE

Western Union? Your ass is going to Moneygram, bitch.

Quote:

Family's Picture.

Thanks.

That's a very nice try, Joe. But, I'm afraid you're going to be working hard for the money, so hard for the money, you work hard for the money, so I'd better treat you riiiiiiiiight.......

Quote:

hellow madam how are today i hope fine , please madam thank very much ,i have send our pictures. as i said earlier that i will send u a name of which u will use in sending the money ,this is the name Peter okeke Ibeazor , please madam for i have made enquiring on how money will collected they told me that i should tell the sender that he /she will send the secret code ,password so that when i comes iwlll just fill the form
THANK and god bless u
from joe and the family hoping to hear from soon

The inevitable slap.

Quote:

Joe:

Is this some kind of fucking sick joke? Why did you so amatuerishly paste your head onto a photograph? That is so fake looking, you ought to be ashamed of yourself for trying to perpetrate such an obvious FRAUD.

If you expect me to take this seriously, you had better get your shit together Joe. All of us here at NAMBLA feel totally taken advantage of. We ask you to hold a simple sign that says "I support NAMBLA" in your photo and you come back with this sorry-ass chop job.

We are trying to help you and your family, and this is the thanks we get? Jesus Christ, Joe!!!! What the hell do you take us for??!?

Very disappointed,
Molly Ringwald

Posted: Sat Mar 05, 2005 8:09 pm

Joe, meet my ass. Now pucker up, cupcake.

Quote:

please madam am sorry please an sincerly but i will send it full please be expect full please am so sorry i use GOD NAME begg u people to forgive for this not a frud , for the person that scan the picture in computer that made the mistake please madam help me to begg them for i belive the devil is lyerer for which mouth will use to tell my family, that people refuse to help us cos of my mistake please am so sorry please expect in full ,please no
mistake again . please madam dont forget me for u are the source of our hope please remain bless please

Then I get this...

Quote:

Re:send picture again

Joe, if I was capable of emotion, I would pity you.

Quote:

hellow madam please am sorry of what happen for what for is the person that scan it first made a mistake , for i will never make a mistake that will cause my life please madam i have resend it again, please madam for get us not for if u do we will like them fall into pit please consider us again for the sake of GOD please god bless u madam for ulove and caring , please madam how will thank well for i and my family are on our knee begging for u to forgive the mistake the scaner wanted to cause in our life ,please tell ur freinds in nambla that i and my family are very sorry
thank and GOD BLESS U PEOPLE IN JESUS NAME. PLEASE MADAM CONSIDER US
JOE AND THE FAMILY

Quote:

Joe:

Do you find this amusing? Am I a clown? Do I fucking make you laugh? Why are you sending me the same goddamned picture, you ungrateful fuck? "Oh, look everybody! There's Joe and his family!!" That second picture is even more pathetic than the one you sent before.

Joe, at this point I think I really need to question why I should help some third world mongoloid who can't even be bothered to send me a picture according to my instructions. For the LAST TIME, Joe, here is the deal:

1) Make a sign that says "I support NAMBLA" on it.
2) Have a picture taken of yourself holding the sign.
3) Scan the picture in (just like you did with those amazingly sub-amateurish fakes) and send it to me as an email attachment.

Now if that is just too damned taxing for you, then I will happily send my and NAMBLA's money to somebody who will fucking appreciate it.

Disgustedly,
Molly Ringwald

Posted: Mon Mar 07, 2005 5:48 pm

He's begging. If I had a soul, I might feel bad about this.

Quote:

helow madam molly ringwald nazgul
how are u today please madam unto will i cry o madam molly my hope ,be not slient to us,lest,if uthou be silent to us we will be like them that go down to the pit. please hear my voice of my supplication as i cry unto the e ,for without the assitance of a divine beign,molly, i cannot suceed. with that assitance ,icannot fail please what esle will i do please can i send another please u are the only souces of our hope thank joe

I'm a Nazgul now! Apparently, he's not a big fan of good ol' J.R.R. Tolkien. The tribute to Goodfellas in my last email to him didn't exactly set off any warning buzzers either, I see.

Quote:

hellow madam
i dont know how honesty will i be again, well first and foremost i must appreciate every of ur respond and hope give me, if realy i know that my mistake will cost my opportunies i could have not send the pictures well madam heaven and earth will bear me witness for that are my family members , well madam i must be frank and honest with u that pictures u see i add my self and my mother in it beacuse of my personal i send to u before cos of the same shirt for if i send u another that am not wearing the same shirt i belive it might look suspicious ,.well madam .wow unto me if i will send u apictures claiming to be my family may i not see the goodness of GOD in my life time amen,
well madam i have a message to my village to send the picture we i with my younger ones when my immidiate sister got married and wedder ,please by next week i wll send it to u,please madam dont close the door for us ,for if u do i dont know what will bee my faith .well madam is only GOD WHO is in heaven know that am not lying ,please madam consider us
THANK FROM JOE AND THE FAMILY
please madam tell me what to do again for am on knee crying to u please forgive me for the mistake i made for with mistake there will no correction ,please madam appreciate every bit of ur respond ,for i know if it were other they even reply not talk helping .please forgive me for appreciate of u been so kind and so caring please please am sorry,sorry sorry
please reply so i might not die in hearth attack or over thinking please dont allow my mistake to finish my life ,for i belive u are god sent to my family to elevate from many years of hunger and lack ,well i wish god will open the depth of my heart to see how honest and truthful am thank and god bless u everday of ur life ,please please, please in jesus name amen

Quote:

Molly Ringwald
madam is me again joe please madam forgive me for the mistake rember what u told me in one of reply that,I know it is a hardship given your horrible status, but just look at it as a light at the end of the tunnel,honestly speaking that are younger and my mother look how horrible hunger and lack turn us into well madam how wish god will open my heart to u for u to see truthful am ,please dont this my hope die , for i belive if it die i will never see the type of human beign like u are will to assit or help people who are less privillage pleasemadam i dont no what to do again for am confuse in my life ,please madam consider again in mind , please forgive for the sake of GOD who created us and consider us and tell me what do again ,FOR GOD that send u to help my family will let u live only like for every thing u haven doing for me ur reply ,respond ,courage,hope, life and restoration of lost hope GOD in heaven will reward u in hundred fold amen in jesus name,please am saying the gosple truth thank and god bless u amen .CONSIDER US AGAIN ,AGAIN AND AGAIN GOD BLESS U AMEN
THANK AGAIN FROM JOE AND FAMILY IN U WILL HOPE ON

Posted: Tue Mar 08, 2005 7:26 pm

I can't take much more of this begging.

Quote:

please madam i must confess to heaven and earth and everycreatures on this world that i appreciate every of you goodness,kind,kind,caring and u respond and reply and the word of hope
well madam i did not were to start for am confuse in my life for now , well GOD know that am saying the truth and that am not lying. well madam no problem for i believe that i have pleaded and confess to u what happen ,well i pray that if thing go bye like this cos my mistake,for i have told my family look at what happen they all shock to hear that i have shartted our hope ,they pleading to u on my behafe for u to forgive and forget the mistake,and consider us again
beacause of my horrible conditonof hunger and lack i was reproach among all my enemies but expecially among my neighbours,and a fear mine acquantance they did see me without fled from me i pray that should let understand for am saying the truth for that is my mother andme and my younger ones
please madam remain under the protection of the almigthy GOD and GOD bless for as u have a change of heart for am saying the truth

THANK AGAIN JOE AND HIS DYING FAMILY FOR I PRAY WITH U AND UR HELP WILL NOT DIE

please remember if we offend GOD he will forgive us all our offences .please why forgive me and consider us thank joe

I can't let guilt eat at Joe forever. Its time to let the healing begin.

Quote:

Oh Joe!

Of course I forgive you. Mistakes happen and we're all human and all that happy shit.

But I can't send you any money until you get me a picture of you holding the sign that says "I was touched by a NAMBLA member". So get that camera out and get cracking!

Love,
Molly Ringwald

I think a great audio trophy would be of him barking like a dog for his money.

Posted: Wed Mar 09, 2005 7:19 pm

Update!

Quote:

oh thank u very much for forgiven may GOD almighty bless u amen And also for bring back our hope ,please madam i will send our picture to u for we are touched with NAMBLA MEMBER
PLEASE EXCITE PATIENCE WITH ME COS I WILL NEVER MAKE ANY MISTAKE AGAIN madam god bless u for as soon as my younger one bring the pic i will the one i promise i wll send the one we took when my immediate sister got married and wedder please madam i will send it for i have told about what we are agree to send that ,please by next week i will send it ,please reply me when ever i see ur reply i always fill happy thank and god bless u
joe and the family

we are touched with NAMBLA MEMBER!!! Hahahaha!!! You f**king sicko!!!

Posted: Mon Mar 14, 2005 7:18 pm

Joe pleads for his miserable life. I really shouldn't be enjoying this; I'm a very bad person.

Quote:

hellow madam how are u today i hope fine , please madam have patience with as soon as i got the pic by next week i will send it to u . please dont forget me till then
remain bless forevermore ,for u are one in a million in this whole world thank u very much and will bless u in every thing u do amen
THANK FROM JOE AND THE FAMILY for will never forget in our life time

I deign to reply.

Quote:

Hi there Joe and the family!

Joe, you had better get that photograph sent if you want your money. Oh yeah, since you are in Africa, do you know Starvin Marvin? He was from Africa, and we helped him out greatly with our risky-free NAMBLA charitable donations. We were even able to give him a Teiko sports watch, which really made him happy. Well, if you see Starvin Marvin, tell him that we here at NAMBLA all say hi.

Joe, what do you think about all that Michael Jackson is going through? Isn't it awful that people would say such things about him? Of course, its not up to me to judge. I'll leave that to a vengeful God.

Molly Ringwald

Despite what you might hear from legitimate charity organizations, abject poverty apparently does take the weekend off for Joe and the family.

Quote:

Hey Jude!

Have you got the picture done yet? Its been the talk here at the NAMBLA orifice all weekend!

Love,
Molly Ringwald

Quote:

Hello Madam,

How are today, I hope fine.

Madam thank you for been patient with me and my family, as I told that I have send a messgae to my village to send picture with took when my Sister got married and wedded. This is the one they send to me to send to you people.

The first picture, I with white shirt and my immidate sister with wedding garwn.

Second, My dad, Mum/Sister and her Husand, Please Madam we touch by you and the NAMBLA Members.

Here is the name you will use in sending the money:

Receiver Name: Peter Okeke Ibeazor

Thanks and God Bless.

For I don't know how I will thank you and NAMBLA Members is only God will bless and replenish your pocket.

Thanks from Joe and Family

What a bunch of crap!!! This isn't what I asked for at all!!! No wonder you are so damn poor, you brainless sack of monkey sh*t!!!!!!!

Posted: Mon Mar 14, 2005 7:41 pm

Joe obviously needs things totally spelled out for him.

Quote:

Hey Jude:

Joe, may I ask you something? Is your village overrun with horny monkeys? Becuase that is the only explanation I can think of as to why you have completely buggered up the photo request AGAIN.

All I asked for was a picture with you holding a sign that says "I was touched by NAMBLA" or "NAMBLA members touched my special place". Instead you send me a picture of your sister's wedding. While I'm sure that was nice and everything, you still didn't follow directions.

I can't be that mad at you though. So here's what I'll do. I will send the $4,500USD that NAMBLA has raised for you to Moneygram under the name Peter Okeke Ibeazor. When you have sent me the picture WITH YOU HOLDING A SIGN THAT SAYS "I WAS TOUCHED BY NAMBLA" OR "NAMBLA MEMBERS TOUCH MY SPECIAL PLACE", then I will give you the test question & answer, and the control number.

Joe, we need this picture to show others how our good works are going. Please don't screw this up again.

Thanks,
Molly Ringwald

Posted: Tue Mar 15, 2005 8:50 pm

Am I ever going to get a trophy? I continue to suckle at Joe's teat...

Quote:

hellow madam GOD BLESS U for hoping given to me and the family

please madam u said i should send a pic that say picture WITH YOU HOLDING A SIGN THAT SAYS "I WAS TOUCHED BY NAMBLA" OR "NAMBLA MEMBERS TOUCH MY SPECIAL PLACE", please how will i do it , please tell me for

i will do just that

please madam for GOD who send u to me and my family will bless u in aboundantly please just tell me how i will do it for i will just send as soon as possible

madam please reply me so that i will know what to do ,madam in short you are one in a million for if there are peoplle like u in this world ,people will not surffer in lack and hunger again. well madam let me stop here for now ,madam am over whelm with joy happiness,for i and my family will forever remain greatfull to u and the NAMBLA MEMBER and also to GOD WHO SEND U TO SET MY FAMILY FROM LACK AND HUNGER

THANK JOE AND THE FAMILY

please tell me how i do it with the pic may GOD BLESS U AMEN PLEASE REPLY ME

Something tells me Joe isn't in any danger of needing to apply for a Fulbright scholarship.

Quote:

Hey Jude!!!

Joe, this is incredibly simple. Taking pictures is not rocket surgery. For this project you will need 3 things.

1) A friend
2) A camera
3) A sign that says "A NAMBLA MEMBER TOUCHED MY SPECIAL PLACE"
You will need to hold the sign and pose outside. Your friend will use use the "camera" to take a "photograph" of you holding the sign. You will get the photo developed (Wolf Camera or Wal-Mart are particularly good) and send it to me via email. When I get the photo, you shall get your money.

Thanks, and all of NAMBLA is praying for you,

Molly Ringwald

I probably should have reassured him that a camera cannot "steal his soul."

Baiting Guru Joined: 08 Feb 2005 Posts: 2301

I think your lad has an IQ of about 30 or so. Mine seems to be having a rough time figuring out how to take a picture too. Ahhhh, the joys.

Guest

Hi, I'm new here...tand I thought my sense of humor was funny. Good job. My son and I have adoped 4 or 5 lads in the last week. Our biggest success is getting one to call me on my "private number" and give his name as Richard Nibler and ask to speak with Mr. Ben Dover. It worked..he called me...at a federal prison in Virginia. Any words of wisdom or advice?

Posted: Thu Mar 17, 2005 6:30 pm

@mavenpaul: 1) Get thee to a mentor, 2) Never work very hard at this, 3) Have fun, 4) Humiliate your lads whenver possible.

I have completely underestimated Joe. He's not stupid at all. The little f**ker is probably laughing his ass off at me trying to get a trophy out of him.

Quote:

hellow madam, please sorry for disturbing u again on this issue,i recieved u mail,please no3 saying a sign that i shoul;d hold a sign and posse outside that am NAMBLA MEMBER TOUCHED MY SPECIAL PLACE,,PLEASE MADAM if thereis a example,please send it to me so that i will see and know how to do it for am confused,for u haveturn my brain up side downfor i have tought over and over still am confused.please if there is sample with u on how iwill hold the sign please, please , please,for i will just do that as u said.please madam am very sorry disturbing u again for am very confused thank and god bless u for there for me and my family all this while,for we come a long way please trusting u
THANK JOE AND THE FAMILY please reply and explain to me very clear for i and my family are praying for u and the NAMBLA MEMBER

I can't take it anymore. Seriously, stupid is only cute for so long. I want to pop his head like a gigantic swollen pimple.

Quote:

Jesus H Christ, Joe!

Are you seriously this fucking stupid? Send me a fucking picture of you holding a fucking sign. Why is that confusing? A 3 year old could figure it out. Remember, no picture, no $$$$. Got it, hotshot?

Molly

Quote:

hellow madam am sorry please i have understand what you are talking about, please madam bear with me for i will send it by tommorow please remain bless for ur understanding

THANK AND GOD BLESS U FROM JOE AND THE FAMILY

Oh joy. I am fully anticipating poorly photoshopped pictures from Joe's cousin's Bar-Mitzvah. Little ingrate, I can't wait to send your useless ass on a safari.

Quote:

Joe

Well, thank God! Look, I know that you can't be too bright, so I will be lenient with you this one time. Don't push it, Stroker Ace. NAMBLA is counting on you to pull through.

Molly Ringwald

Posted: Thu Mar 17, 2005 10:21 pm

I have a sneaky suspicion he's going to let you down once again Flynt - your instructions were clear and concise, with his brain the way it is it's no wonder he can't understand them Twisted Evil

_________________
marijuana

Posted: Fri Mar 18, 2005 5:18 pm

YES!!!!

The little ass-clown finally coming through with the trophy! I love it! Damn, DJ Tricky, I should have made a bet with you over this one! Oh well... maybe next time Cool

Quote:

Hello madam,

God bless u for been so lenient with me , madam i must count my self very lucky to meet somebody like u in whole world , for u are one in a million GOD bless u in tenthousand fold , ijoe and the family will forever remain greatfull for making us to see goodness and us seeing light at the end of lack and and hunger , please for everyday in our life we contiune to pray for u and NAMBLA MEMBERS
THANK JOE AND THE FAMILY ,PLEASE REMAIN PROTECTED UNDER THE SHADOW OF OUR ALMIGHTY GOD AMEN IN JUSUS NAME

Quote:

HEY JUDE!

The picture was fantastic! That is exactly what we needed for our spring "Help Touch a Young Boy" campaign! With compelling images like that, we will be sure to raise an incredible amount of funds to help NAMBLA touch other young boys! In fact, there are rumors that the singing sensation, Michael Jackson, is going to donate $10,000 to our charity! Imagine all that we could do with that money!

We are so excited, but we must ask that you do us one small favor, please. Please send us a picture of yourself wearing a shirt that says "NAMBLA PRIDE" on it. Such a picture would be inspirational to us all!

Many blessings of Chthulu!
Molly Ringwald

Posted: Mon Mar 21, 2005 8:40 pm

What the hell is this little turd trying to pull?

Quote:

hellow madam thank u ,please are u people not going to help us again for as talking with u am i will send u the pic written NAMBLA PRIDE ON IT,for look for money to do it by monday
THANK JOE AND THE FAMILY, REMAIN BLESS FOR U HAVE TOUCHED MY LIFE POSITIVELY FOR BRING BACK MY LOST HOPE FOR SO MANYYEARS OF LACK AND HUNGER

Yeah, you look about as lean and malnourished as Michael Moore, you little NAMBLA punk. Twisted Evil

Quote:

hellow madam please sorry this which country are u
from please do not allow hope to die thank and god
bless u
from joe

Quote:

please madam i willsend u the pic as soon as igot please bear with me
thank joe ,please tell me were u come from state or country

What country am I from? Where do you think I'm from, asswipe?

Quote:

Hey Jude:

I'm from south central Los Angeles; Compton to be precise. From the emails I have been getting from you, it is not clear that you understand your assingment. I want you to write "NAMBLA pride" on a shirt, Joe. A shirt.... like you wear.... ok????

Then have your picture taken wearing the shirt. That would be so cool. Believe me Joe, you are currently the talk of NAMBLA! In fact, if we raise enough money, we would like to fly you to America so that you can be our poster boy and tell the world how much we have touched your special place! What do you think of that?

Blessings to you and all the young boys that we love to touch!
Molly Ringwald

Posted: Mon Mar 21, 2005 9:55 pm

LMAO! Great work!

Posted: Tue Mar 22, 2005 5:53 pm

Holy sh*t!!! Joe gets it right the first time!!!!! I'm flabbergasted!

Quote:

hellow madam ,how are today i hope fine here is the pic as u said . please madam any hope for me and the family for we are dieying in hunger please try and help us out as promise
THANK AND GOD BLESS U
please reply me and tell me if there is hope for us

Posted: Tue Mar 22, 2005 11:08 pm

Posted: Wed Mar 23, 2005 10:18 pm

I think it came as a surprise to Joe that he hears from the big man at NAMBLA!

Quote:

Jude Joe-
I very much wish to congratulate you on your magnificent pictures that you have had taken of yourself showing your support of NAMBLA and our work. Molly Ringwald tells me that you are quite a strapping young man, and from the photos that she has sent me, I see that she is exactly right! I want you to know that NAMBLA is here to help satisfy every need that your nubile young body might require.

Joe, it would delight us all if you had some more pictures taken of yourself outside wearing the NAMBLA PRIDE shirt! That way, you can show to the world your support for our organization and how we have touched your life.

Do not despair at this dark hour, Joe, for help is on the way!

Matt Foley,
Executive Director of Juvenile Operations,
NAMBLA Charities, Inc.

Is our boy flattered? Impressed? Grateful? HELL, NO!!!

Quote:

HELLOW MADAM thank u for ur reply, madam molly ringwald have been so good to me for her courage and hope given to me and the family,well madam am ready to more written NAMBLA PRIDE,madam i must bee frank with u for i dont have money to eat a mill not talk of taken a pic ,for all the pictures i have been sending to u i borrow the money to snap and send, for all the people i borrow money are on my neck for me to pay them back of which i promise to pay back as soon as get money, madam am very ready to send as many pic u want,for i promise i doit ,for i need fanicial assit please help me out ,for i promise for any thing u say i should do i will just do it for i madam molly ringwald have come a long way
THANK JOE AND THE FAMILY please reply me quick

Bitch, bitch, bitch. "I'm starving", "I'm dying" Its just all about you, isn't it, Joe?

Quote:

hellow madam i recieved mail from ur excutive director told that u have been send my pic to her , she congulated me for the pic i have sent so far ,told u people need more pic written NAMBLA PRIDE, OF WHICH I AGREED i send it ,but i told her for now am ready to do everything ,but i dont havemoney to eat a mill not talk of snaping pic and send for the hole pic i sent so far that i borrow the money to snap and send them,for the people are on my neck but that promise them i give them as i got money, i promise that am ready to do anything to see that NAMBLA WORK MOVE WORLD WIDE,FOR I NEED UR FANICIAL ASSIT,please help us out as am writting i have taken my breakfast cos not money,please madam help me out so i will not die in hunger,PLEASE THANK JOE AND THE FAMILY
PLEASE REPLY FOR,AM DIEYING IN HUNGER

Anything....? Did you seriously just say you would "do anything"??? Moo-hoo-hahahahaha!!!!

Quote:

Jude Joe!

Blessings of the season! How is the famine going, ok I hope? First I must correct you, as Matt Foley is most definately not a woman. He is a chisled rock of masculinity who has been feeling up young boys for years.

Secondly, how much money have you spent so far on pictures? NAMBLA is willing to reimburse you for your efforts. Please send us an itemized list of your expenses so that we can file it with our 351(i) and 419(f-u) forms for tax year 2005.

Thirdly, we at NAMBLA would like to issue you your money in the form of a giant oversized novelty check. We have discussed the Western Union option, but we feel that it may not be risky-free enough for us at this point. To assist you, we have enclosed a template that you can take to any local print shop and have made into a large posterboard "cheque" at least 100cm by 300cm. We would be delighted to reimburse you for the expense of having it printed and your photo taken holding it. Obviously, we would prefer to give you this check in person, but your financial needs clearly cannot wait.

Alternatively, you could fly to the United States, and we could pick you up from the airport. Matt Foley is already talking with NBC about doing a bit on you for the Today show. We would love to show the country the diffrence we made by touching you in your special place.

Sincerely,
Molly Ringwald

Somebody will probably beat me like a drum for making this up. In my defense, I arrived at those numbers by carefully pounding the 10-key part of the keyboard. I also (honestly) forgot to make up a bank that the check has an account in. Just as well. I don't think our boy exactly has an eye for detail. Besides, he is supposed to get it printed out to about 3'x10' if my mental metric->english conversion is right.

** ACCOUNT CLOSED ** Joined: 28 Oct 2004 Posts: 123

I approve of your choice of character name, I had such a crush on Molly Ringwald as a teenager.

Those eyes!

Guest

I have brought so many new fans to 419 eater's looking for new Larry Flynt publications, christ I have my mother reading your shit, your brilliant, LOL.

Keep up the great work!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Posted: Mon Apr 04, 2005 3:37 am

@breaker419: I looooovvveee redheads. And as the country song says, she could eat crackers in my bed anytime.

@ericsshop's mom: Hi! Hope I'm keeping you entertained. Don't worry, I'll keep a good eye on your boy and make sure he doesn't cause too much trouble!

Anyway... I have just gotten back from spending the past week and a half laying on my butt on the beach under the Florida sun. I have come back nice and tan and refreshed, but it seems that many of my victims have taken my 10 day vacation as a sign that I no longer care for them. Of course, that couldn't be more wrong. I care a great deal that they undergo much psychological pain and humiliation and that I want to be as much of a cause of it as possible.

Back to Joe's incoherent obsequious prose:

Quote:

please madam thank u for ur support ,please madam how did u mean well heaven and earth will bear witness for am,not lying for am confuse concerning everthing ,please mis understand me concerning what just said ,for if have moneyi ready to do anything you said i should do,well no problem. for GOD KNOW THAT I AMSAYING THE GOSPEL TRUTH,for not a 419 person
THANK JOE AND THE FAMILY TRY AND UNDERSTAND ME AND LOOK INTO MY LIFE EVER SINCE IHAVE BEEN WRITTEN U IF AND LYING,please reply meand tellme what next

I NEVER said Joe was a 419 person. That number innocuously came up in my previous email to him as a tax form. I think somebody is a little paranoid!!!!

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hellow madam please i u going to live in coolhelltic wealther like that , for if love and care for reply me and what next thank joe and the family

If only Joe knew that while he was feverishly typing away, I was getting sand poured down the back of my swimming trunks by my 3 year old.

Quote:

please madam if i have offended u by my word ,please forgive and forget ,for if we offend our GOD WHEN WE BEG FOR FORGIVENESS HE FORGIVE US ,PLEASE FORGIVE FOR I KNOW THAT I HAVE OFFEND U BY MY WORD ,FOR HONESTLY IS SO HOT WITH FOR ALL HOPE HAVE LOST EVER SINCE U STOP REPLY ME ,PLEASE HAVE A CHANGE OF HEART PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE FOR GOD SAKE AND REPLY FOR NOW WHAT NEXT AND GOD BLESS U AMEN JOE AND FAMILY ON UR NEE BEGGING FOR FORGIVENESS

Quote:

hellow madam it seem that u have forget me no problem god day for i believe he make a way for me and mymn family thank god bless u joe

Matt Foley, CEO and president of NAMBLA, got this in his email inbox...

Quote:

hellow sir thank for everthing ,please sir dont forget me for if u do i will be like them that went down to the pit , for am joe ,please please if love and care for me reply me and tell me that next , and madam molly ringwald to writte me . for in any way i offended u all by world please for the sake of GOD forgive and forget for am on my knee begging for u all should have o change of heart thank and remain bless amen hoping to hear from both of u
thank from joe and the family ,for it seem that all hope have lost eversince u and madam molly did write to me again thank for i believe that is no problem thank

Joe had no idea of the horror that has transpired over the past week.

Quote:

Dear members of the NAMBLA family:

I am very sorry to be the bearer of very bad news. On Saturday, our director of operations, Molly Ringwald, died after a rapid illness in the hospital. Before Easter, she had driven a van full of young, supple boys to our facility at Camp Beaver View. While helping the camp staff match young men to older "counselors", she was bitten on the thigh by a venomous one-eyed trouser snake. First aid was applied, but when she got to the hospital, no anti-venom was available withing a 300 mile radius. Molly struggled over this last week as her breathing slowly wound down and she began to hallucinate about Gary Busey.

Despite all the efforts of chiropractors and the mostly Haitian medical staff at Beaver View Hospital, Molly passed away. I would like to say she passed peacefully, but the contorted musculature of her face, the bloody discharge and the constant hellish shrieking seemed to indicate otherwise.

NAMBLA has lost a wonderful member. Although she didn't usually directly touch young men, I know that she wanted us all to feel up as many boys as possible and touch their special places again and again.

Matt Foley,

CEO and President,

NAMBLA Inc.

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