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 Father Peter and the Church of the Divine Oasis (concluded)

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Via Caltha
Wannabe Baiter


Joined: 13 Nov 2004
Posts: 92
Location: England


PostPosted: Mon Feb 21, 2005 7:17 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

So here's my new bait. I wanted to do a churchy bait, and also continue my routine of musical baits. So combining the two: (cheers labrat) gets an unexpected missive from one Father Liam Gallagher of the Church of the Divine Oasis in (where else?) Manchester.

Quote:
Dear Father Peter,

I am writing as a representative of the Church of the
Divine Oasis in Manchester. We are a charitable religious
organisation with thousands of followers, mostly here in
Britain. As a fellow Christian, I am very interested in
helping you resolve your difficulties.

Hope to hear from you soon.

Liam Gallagher


It took a while, but he replied.

Quote:
Cavary Greeting to you Mr. Liam Gallagher,

May the almighty God show his aboundant blessing unto you
and your entire house hold members. I humbly wish to tell
you that it was divine intension to meet a good God fearing
man like you to assist me on this problem because i will
not be allowed to repatriate on this assignment as a Parish
Priest.

I am going to give you every access to the deposted fund
while you will come down here so that every arrange ment
will held here with the finance firm that were holding the
deposit. You can also help me by securing a very good
foreign account number where the money will be transfered
in on the process of your coming down here even it will be
more favourable for you to come down here because you may
not need a Visa because our country Senegal was a Tuorist
Country, what you need to do is only to go to SENEGAL
EMBASSEY in you country and apply for a permit which will
cover you as a tourist.

Meanwhile, here is my phone number incase if
you may need to call me for more enlightments and
clearifications on how to come for this purpose.With
Godliness of mind i deemed it necessary to tell you every
details of how your assistant will be needed as a foreign
partner in this foreign trasaction because the Finance firm
said it to be compulsary that a trustee must be presented
either here or to their correspondent Company in Europe
before any action will be take on the release of the sick
woman's inheritance with them which you may understand as
well that i will not be allowed by my Church activities to
attend unto that more that to solicit a good foreign
partner who will be as honesty to to rescue us from the
hand of the earthly wicked men.

I may be waiting for your call or mail soon as possible.

May the good God Be with You Forever Amen.

Your's In God,
Rev Father .
Parish Priest Of Holy Family Catholic Church Dakar Senegal
Distric.


Reply to come tomorrow. Very Happy

_________________
"I have reported you to the member of your oasis mission in london through post and hoping that by tuesday the letter will get to the as well according to the currier service."
-- Rev Father Peter Richards

Last edited by Via Caltha on Fri Apr 29, 2005 9:29 pm; edited 3 times in total
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labrat
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PostPosted: Mon Feb 21, 2005 7:49 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Notice that VC and I don't so much have a shuttle, as the odd Beagle 2 launch every now and again.

Anyway, it makes a change to go from 'my' county musical baits to 'his' county
Via Caltha
Wannabe Baiter


Joined: 13 Nov 2004
Posts: 92
Location: England


PostPosted: Wed Feb 23, 2005 3:35 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Quote:
Dear Father Peter,

Please let me know what is required of me. I pray that I might be of some assistance to you in your tragic plight.

Non guardi indietro nella rabbia, as we say in the Church. It means "may our business be divinely blessed".

Yours in God's name,

Liam Gallagher


The blessing actually means something along the lines of "don't look back in anger", as in the Oasis song, in Italian for no better reason than I felt like it.

He seems to be loose about the modalities he actually requires, and I'm going to return the favour. I think I'm going to try for a trophy here because I can do with some new wallpaper. Twisted Evil

_________________
"I have reported you to the member of your oasis mission in london through post and hoping that by tuesday the letter will get to the as well according to the currier service."
-- Rev Father Peter Richards

Last edited by Via Caltha on Wed Apr 20, 2005 4:36 pm; edited 1 time in total
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Via Caltha
Wannabe Baiter


Joined: 13 Nov 2004
Posts: 92
Location: England


PostPosted: Fri Feb 25, 2005 7:15 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Quote:
Calvary greeting Brother. Liam Gallagher,

May God almighty be with you and your entire house hold,
through his grace and aboundant blessings from above. Thank
God for giving us another opportunity to see this day light
which is not by our power or by our might but by his loving
kindness and tender mercies which abideth in every one that
believeth in him with all his heart.

Your assitant will be needed in a place of trustee and
foreign patner who will be with my representee in either
the branch of the security company here in Senegal or in
Amsterdam where the original deposit were made by the sick
woman and good membere of my Church. And again I will be
very happy if you can be able to go to Amsterdam for the
recorvery of the inheritance on our favour why because you
will stand as foreign partner and a trustee to the
depositor who is now on a serious sick bed. Moreover, if
you will be more convenient to come down here in my country
Dakar Senegal so that we can pursue things from their local
branch here.

Please to be a great assistance to this our divine provided
opportunity your assistant to this assignment will be based
on your option amoungst the the two given options either to
arrange and come down here in dakar or to fly into
Amsterdan with divine guidience and directives to rescue us
from loosing of the deposited inheritance of the member
instead of loosing the deposited inheritance to the
security company simply becuase of my inability to act
freely due to my position in Gods Kingdom.

Please i will be waiting for your mail immediately you
recieve this message because the worst part of it is that
my main purpose of soliciting you is that the security firm
has issued me letter severally that they will confiscate
the inheritance if it is not claimed by the month of march
which is next month so please my dearly brother in God i
will like you to see that it will be very happy for my
entire house hold if you will be our rescuer in this tragic
condition. please do not forget to send me your direct
phone numbere as you wish not to call me with mine.

Remain Bless.

Your's In God,
Rev. Father
Parish Priest Holy Family.


I left it a bit before replying. The trophy photo I'm trying for says GRANT HOLT IS A LEGEND. This actually has nothing to do with Oasis - Grant Holt is a footballer who is at least in part responsible for my hometown team avoiding relegation from the league. Time to try working this in, complete of course with a decent helping of Oasis references:

Quote:
Dear Father Peter,

I apologise for the delay in getting back to you but yesterday was the 24th February, on which we celebrate the life of one of the greatest prophets of the Church of the Divine Oasis. Grant Holt came from Sheffield in response to our prayers to save us from destruction, and for that we give thanks to God on this day every year. The celebrations take the form of thousands of followers gathering in the open air for a 90-minute ceremony involving much singing, chanting and drinking of ceremonial beverages symbolic of the Champagne Supernova, the divine miracle for which Father Grant is still venerated today.

I would be pleased to travel to Senegal to meet you. I briefly visited in 1997 when I was travelling to spread the word, and it's really a delightful country. I can fly out whenever would be convenient for you. I would like a photograph of you so that I can recognise you on our meeting, and also just because I like to be able to put a face to the mail. Such that it isn't lost in the turmoil that is the image sorting system on our computer, I suggest that you have a sign reading "GRANT HOLT IS A LEGEND" in legible block capitals and take the photo of you holding it. That would be much appreciated.

I hope to hear back from you soon so we can continue the business and arrange my flight to Senegal.

Yours in God's name,
Liam Gallagher

_________________
"I have reported you to the member of your oasis mission in london through post and hoping that by tuesday the letter will get to the as well according to the currier service."
-- Rev Father Peter Richards

Last edited by Via Caltha on Wed Apr 20, 2005 4:37 pm; edited 1 time in total
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Via Caltha
Wannabe Baiter


Joined: 13 Nov 2004
Posts: 92
Location: England


PostPosted: Tue Mar 01, 2005 3:34 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Quote:
Dear Sir,

I am not quite sure if you understand the implements of
what you said that a man of God like myself will do because
of my assistance to my church member who happened to be
very ill.

Meanwhile, i am the one who suppose to ask you for all that
that you ask me but i simply because of the divine trust to
you as a Christian like me wave all away. Please if you
arevery interesting to doasyou promised kindlygiveme your
telephone contact so that i can contact you on phone.

Your's In God,
Pastor. Richards.


I can't make head nor tail of that gibberish, and neither can the good Father Liam. The only bit that makes sense is the bit about a phone number, so time to give him my address. Of course.

Quote:
Dear Pastor Richard,

My address as requested is:

Father Liam Gallagher
Church of the Divine Oasis
Alby Avenue
Manchester
United Kingdom

Also when you find time to get a photograph of yourself as described in my previous mail, please send it. Remember that the sign must read "GRANT HOLT IS A LEGEND", and the larger the better.

Please let me know when I can fly over to meet you in person. I feel that I am sent by God to help you in your hour of need.

Liam Gallagher

_________________
"I have reported you to the member of your oasis mission in london through post and hoping that by tuesday the letter will get to the as well according to the currier service."
-- Rev Father Peter Richards

Last edited by Via Caltha on Wed Apr 20, 2005 4:38 pm; edited 1 time in total
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Via Caltha
Wannabe Baiter


Joined: 13 Nov 2004
Posts: 92
Location: England


PostPosted: Thu Mar 03, 2005 10:13 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

And it's the broken scanner excuse, from what I can make of his rather tenuous English.

Quote:
Dear Good Friend,

I have never knwon the reason why that you are very eager
to see my picture, though i have a lot of picture here in
my office but i could not be able to scan them do to the
problem on my scan mechine that was just the reason why i
could not have give you my piture before now.

Meanwhile, i want to ask you a question, does it mean that
if i could be able to give you a picture that you will not
voluntier your self in this help, what i required from you
is just as a representative in Amsterdam company where the
original deposit of the money was made by the ill woman
with the whole vital documents of the deposit.

Please I wait to hear from you soonest.

Your's In God,
Rev. Richards.


Time to go a bit further. I'm quite confident that I can get a photo out of this one...

Quote:
Dear Rev. Richards,

The bank handling our finances requires a photograph of you for identification purposes, and as a security measure they need the photograph to contain a sign with an agreed pass phrase.

As a show of good faith I've attached a photo of myself taken outside our church on the 24th February this year. The phrase on the church sign "GRANT HOLT IS A LEGEND" is to be the pass phrase, though you don't need to go to that much effort - a simple handwritten cardboard sign will do, as long as it's written in clear and legible block capitals.

Once this is taken care of, I would be delighted to progress with taking care of your problem. In addition we have decided as a gesture of goodwill to give a donation of 10,000 (ten thousand pounds sterling) to your church, and this can also be taken care of once I receive your photograph.

All the best,

Liam Gallagher


Here's the "photo" I sent him:

Image

_________________
"I have reported you to the member of your oasis mission in london through post and hoping that by tuesday the letter will get to the as well according to the currier service."
-- Rev Father Peter Richards

Last edited by Via Caltha on Wed Apr 20, 2005 4:39 pm; edited 1 time in total
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Via Caltha
Wannabe Baiter


Joined: 13 Nov 2004
Posts: 92
Location: England


PostPosted: Fri Mar 04, 2005 12:20 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Quote:
Calvary Greeting Mr. Liam,

May the almighty God continue to add riches and glory unto
your life as you have been a very good christian. I see
your picture in your church and it looks good, I have here
attach my own photo I took yesterday holding a stick of
candle for your request to help me as you said.

Meanwhile , I will not be a party to a lieing forum because
of my sprituality in godliness. Please i wish you will not
do anything with my photo please for good God sake. However
I did not basically took this picture because of your
request alone but it was directed by God to do that for the
genuinity of my Revrend.

See the Photo attached.

Your's In God,

Rev. Richards.


Now where the hell did he think I said "take a photo of yourself with a candle and send it as a tiny overcompressed JPEG"?

Image


Here's the reply I'm going to send, just as soon as I've Photoshopped Liam Gallagher's head onto a stock photo and added an appropriate sign.

Quote:
Dear Rev. Richard,

I acknowledge receipt of your photo, but the bank have told me that it does not meet their specification. As I've clearly said on more than one occasion, they requested that you be holding a sign with "GRANT HOLT IS A LEGEND" written on it in large and legible block capitals. Also make the image larger and reduce the compression. Without that they will not consent to any fund transfers, which means you won't receive the 10,000 I promised your church in my last mail.

Like you, I am a man of God and will also not be party to a lying forum. I seek only to help you. It's the bank's problem that they refused to accept your photograph. Here's a photograph of me holding such a sign to demonstrate what they require.

Yours in almighty God,
Liam Gallagher


"party to a lying forum" Laughing


Image

_________________
"I have reported you to the member of your oasis mission in london through post and hoping that by tuesday the letter will get to the as well according to the currier service."
-- Rev Father Peter Richards

Last edited by Via Caltha on Wed Apr 20, 2005 4:41 pm; edited 1 time in total
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Via Caltha
Wannabe Baiter


Joined: 13 Nov 2004
Posts: 92
Location: England


PostPosted: Sat Mar 05, 2005 1:10 am Reply with quoteBack to top

Quote:
Dear Liam,

I wish that you maybe playing with my integrity as man of
God, be rest assured that i seek no help of you 10.000.00
or whta soever amount of eathly riches you may mention to
me.

I only seek your urgent help in a place of trustee and a
foreign partner who will be very eligible to be a partner
with my church woman member who happens to be very sick in
her bed right so that the finance company where she made
this deposit will not monopolise the money because of lack
of personal who will stand on her behal and claim out the
fund from them. I could not be so chanced in my computer
but because of this strtagy i voluntieered my self because
they were all the work of God.

As you may understand that we African were so averice but
not a priest like me so mind how you mention money to
because i am not a party to any avericiouness ok thanks for
showing your hand work as an artist by securing all this
pictures calling them your's.

May God have mercy upon you and your family for all this
that yopu have done to the man of God. odi mma rie nne nonu
ndi uka as we said in my language.

Your's In God.
Rev. Richards.

_________________
"I have reported you to the member of your oasis mission in london through post and hoping that by tuesday the letter will get to the as well according to the currier service."
-- Rev Father Peter Richards

Last edited by Via Caltha on Wed Apr 20, 2005 4:43 pm; edited 1 time in total
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Via Caltha
Wannabe Baiter


Joined: 13 Nov 2004
Posts: 92
Location: England


PostPosted: Sat Mar 05, 2005 11:22 am Reply with quoteBack to top

And so here's my reply.

Quote:
Dear Rev. Richards,

I've wanted nothing but to help you since I received your mail. The offer of a 10,000 donation to your church was as a thank-you for trusting me, and I apologise if it offended you. You seem to be questioning my integrity - somebody has been putting demonic thoughts in your head. Allow me to pray for their removal:

So take me away cause I just don't want to stay
And the lies you make me say are getting deeper every day
These are crazy days but they make me shine
Time keeps rolling by.

Please contact me as soon as possible with information as to how I might assist your needy parishoner. I still believe that this task is my divine duty appointed by God.

Liam Gallagher


The "prayer" is of course the bridge from All Around The World by Oasis - the lyrics (and indeed the song title itself) are fairly apt. Smile


And don't think I've given up on getting that trophy. There's more than one way to skin a mugu.

_________________
"I have reported you to the member of your oasis mission in london through post and hoping that by tuesday the letter will get to the as well according to the currier service."
-- Rev Father Peter Richards

Last edited by Via Caltha on Wed Apr 20, 2005 4:43 pm; edited 1 time in total
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Via Caltha
Wannabe Baiter


Joined: 13 Nov 2004
Posts: 92
Location: England


PostPosted: Sat Mar 05, 2005 3:45 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

What do you know? Liam's "exorcism" worked so well that now he wants me to send him money! Laughing

Quote:
Dear Liam,

I am very surprise and greatful relate with a sympathetic
humanity like you, thanks for your donation to my church i
will give an information of how and where to send the money
for my church uprising. In a muslim registered community,
it was very difficult to see christians but i humble my
self with uprightness of heart in christianity to serve the
God of my forefathers.

Concerning the help of my parishoner i will say if you can
be able to send somebody to Amsterdam who will represent my
parishoner's trustee and partner who will also discuss with
finance company where she has her deposited in the respect
of the release of the consignment on her behalf. And again,
I will also appreciate you if you can be able to send her
some money for her care at the moment because my other
church members have tried as much as they can to help by
donations for her together with her little daughter.

Please if her cry reach unto your heart kindly do something
to see her happy y sending whatever amount that you can be
capable of.

Thanks,

Your's In God,
Rev. Richards.

_________________
"I have reported you to the member of your oasis mission in london through post and hoping that by tuesday the letter will get to the as well according to the currier service."
-- Rev Father Peter Richards

Last edited by Via Caltha on Wed Apr 20, 2005 4:44 pm; edited 1 time in total
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labrat
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PostPosted: Mon Mar 07, 2005 12:33 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

He fell for it? Congratulations, I think we have a winner!
Via Caltha
Wannabe Baiter


Joined: 13 Nov 2004
Posts: 92
Location: England


PostPosted: Mon Mar 07, 2005 3:52 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Quote:
Dear Rev. Richard,

I would be delighted to travel to Amsterdam to meet with your associates. I will be arranging air travel because I don't think I can face going on the ferry after what happened last time. I can leave here any time would be convenient with you. I was due a visit to our church over there in any case. Hopefully I will be able to pay them a call when I am in Amsterdam to meet your representative - I am informed that they have received a shipment of Langwith Green which I would be very interested in sampling.

Please contact me also with further information regarding our donations to your church and help for your good lady parishoner.

Yours in God's holy name,

Liam Gallagher


"Langwith Green" is marijuana (legal in Amsterdam of course), but there's no way he'll know that. Laughing

_________________
"I have reported you to the member of your oasis mission in london through post and hoping that by tuesday the letter will get to the as well according to the currier service."
-- Rev Father Peter Richards

Last edited by Via Caltha on Wed Apr 20, 2005 5:06 pm; edited 1 time in total
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Via Caltha
Wannabe Baiter


Joined: 13 Nov 2004
Posts: 92
Location: England


PostPosted: Fri Mar 18, 2005 9:52 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

All right, here we go. A few real life stresses left me short of energy for baiting lately, but at least gave me the opportunity to try out the "dangle mugu from string" modality. Liam has 3 messages from Father Peter, the latest of which arrived today. The first has a Western Union to send the funds, and I see a fake security validation form heading his way in the near future. Twisted Evil

Quote:
Dear Sir Mr. Liam, [Arise! Laughing ]

I thank so much for your uprightness and honesty since the
inception of this assistance. I will be very humble to give
you an informtaion of where you can send anything you wish
for the sick woman as per your promise with divine
intension by the direction of the Lord our God and not by
force.

See the informations bellow, thanks for your compassionate.

NAME: Mr. Ndloyo Henry Themba
ADDRESS : 122 Dakar,Senegal.
send me the following informations after payment
through my E-mail as stated below:

1.Your name and address as it is written on the western
union payment slip
2.The city where you made the payment from.
3.The 10 digits control number of the payment
4.The text question and the answer to the text

Meanwhile My entire church will be praying for in bunks
from now till when you will be boyant enough to travel to
the Finance firm in Amsterdam for to retrive the ill
womans' deposited inheritance for an adiquate care of her
and her only daughter.

Thanks and may God almighty continue to add riches and
glory unto your good treasury from now till hencforth Amen:

Yours' In God,
Rev Father Peter Richards


The other two are just reminders, as he gets increasingly worried.

Quote:
Dear Liam,

How are you today, I hope fine. Please have you been able
to conclude with your bank to send anything that you can
with informations i gave you because i could not wrote you
because of my church activites due to our upcoming harvest
and bazar.

Please i am expecting your urgent mailso that i can know
wether i will go to the hospitals today to visit the sick
woman because there will not be chanced for me as from
tomorrow after my sunday service.

Your' In God,
Rev Richards.


Quote:
Hello Mr. Liam,

What is the matter with you, is things alright with you and
families, if so thank God. Please am waiting axiously to
hearing from you based on our disscussion previously.

Kindly fullfill your promise to God because promise is a
debt inasmuch that you made a promise to the spiritual man
of God.

Waiting for you Sir.

Your's Rev. Richards,


I'll see what I can do. Very Happy

_________________
"I have reported you to the member of your oasis mission in london through post and hoping that by tuesday the letter will get to the as well according to the currier service."
-- Rev Father Peter Richards

Last edited by Via Caltha on Wed Apr 20, 2005 5:07 pm; edited 2 times in total
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Via Caltha
Wannabe Baiter


Joined: 13 Nov 2004
Posts: 92
Location: England


PostPosted: Tue Mar 29, 2005 3:35 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Here we go.

Quote:
Apologies for my extended absence. I had a nasty case of Peruvian Death Flu, which has thankfully now subsided enough for me to carry out church business. I didn't trust anyone else to handle our affairs in my absence, but I am sure we can now pick up where we left off and conduct our business for the benefit of your friend. I pray she is as well as can be expected in the circumstances.

Yours in God's holy name,

Liam Gallagher


Need I say that my illness is a made-up one? (I read it in a cartoon strip - This Life from the Metro comes to mind for some reason.)

_________________
"I have reported you to the member of your oasis mission in london through post and hoping that by tuesday the letter will get to the as well according to the currier service."
-- Rev Father Peter Richards

Last edited by Via Caltha on Wed Apr 20, 2005 5:09 pm; edited 1 time in total
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Via Caltha
Wannabe Baiter


Joined: 13 Nov 2004
Posts: 92
Location: England


PostPosted: Thu Mar 31, 2005 3:03 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Quote:
Dear Sir Pastor Liam,

I was very suprise to recieve your mail this morning, but
the content therein is quite understood that was a problem
between you and your members. But at least to show good
faith to me as your fellow Christian friend you could have
excused me before anything like this, though that has past.


What did he expect? "I" had "Peruvian death flu", and didn't want to trust anyone else in the "organisation" with his confidential business.

Quote:
Meanwhile i was expecting your full fillment on your
promise to my church during our harvest and bazaar but
heard nothing from you. I could have said that we arrange
the transfer of the fund to you for safe keeping through
and online banknig transfer while i contact the security
firm today to know if that will possible for them to do so
that we can be able to push out the fund to you as a good
christian because i strongly believe that you can not
monopolise the money when transfer to you pending the
arrival of my representee and the little daughter of the
woman to you for sub-sequent sharing according to our
agreed promise to you earlier.


Holy run-on sentences, Batman! Shocked

Quote:
So sorry to tell you that the ill woman who owns the money
died last week after her final operation for the canscer.
So everything was left to me for caring now while my
activities will not help me for that.


Guess it's not just baiters who pull the "X has just died" trick. I wonder where I'm supposed to send the money I had put aside for her care...

Quote:
Finally I need your contact phone number so that i can call
you and hear you voice to be very sure that i was dealing
with a human being.

Remember that it is not all that good to allow another
person to handle your position on your absence as a good
and spritual man of God, Please Be careful my friend.


I thought I had been.

Quote:
Your In God,

Rev. Richards.


Phone number as he said. I'm tempted to get one of those joke voicemail messages for my baiter voicemail. For those outside the UK, we sometimes get adverts in newspapers and magazines offering voices of celebrities as voicemail greetings, and I'm sure one of them must do a Liam Gallagher. Very Happy In the meantime I'm giving him one of Ofcom's reserved 0161 numbers and he'll have to live with it.

_________________
"I have reported you to the member of your oasis mission in london through post and hoping that by tuesday the letter will get to the as well according to the currier service."
-- Rev Father Peter Richards

Last edited by Via Caltha on Wed Apr 20, 2005 5:10 pm; edited 1 time in total
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Via Caltha
Wannabe Baiter


Joined: 13 Nov 2004
Posts: 92
Location: England


PostPosted: Sun Apr 03, 2005 12:12 am Reply with quoteBack to top

Quote:
I am sorry to hear of the tragic death of your parishoner. If there is anything I can do for you or for her family then you only have to ask. My telephone number as requested is .

I did not leave anyone else to handle this business in my absence, as you seem to be suggesting. Have you been contacted by anyone else claiming to represent me or the Church of the Divine Oasis whilst I was away? If so then it had nothing to do with me, and I shall investigate the security breach. I know that in today's uncertain world there might be evil men wanting to take advantage of good men of God like us, and I take steps to guard myself against such devilry.

Hope you are well.

Liam

_________________
"I have reported you to the member of your oasis mission in london through post and hoping that by tuesday the letter will get to the as well according to the currier service."
-- Rev Father Peter Richards

Last edited by Via Caltha on Wed Apr 20, 2005 5:10 pm; edited 1 time in total
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Via Caltha
Wannabe Baiter


Joined: 13 Nov 2004
Posts: 92
Location: England


PostPosted: Wed Apr 06, 2005 4:53 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Quote:
Apologies for not being in contact. I am appearing on television tonight and have been busy preparing. I hope to hear from you soon.

Liam


He hasn't got back to me yet; this has been sent to remind him to reply soon, to mess with his head a bit, and because I couldn't resist slipping in a reference to the new Oasis video being shown on Channel 4 tonight at 11.05 and 1.15. Cool

_________________
"I have reported you to the member of your oasis mission in london through post and hoping that by tuesday the letter will get to the as well according to the currier service."
-- Rev Father Peter Richards

Last edited by Via Caltha on Wed Apr 20, 2005 5:11 pm; edited 1 time in total
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Via Caltha
Wannabe Baiter


Joined: 13 Nov 2004
Posts: 92
Location: England


PostPosted: Thu Apr 07, 2005 5:08 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Quote:
Dear Mr. Liam,

I have tried to get accross to you through your phone
number but of no avail. Are you sure that you gave me a
correct phone number because i am seek and tired of calling
the line while on no response.

If you wish to hep us to support the little gir this time
that she has no body left you can easy do what ever help
that you can be able to affor to help and support her
living before the time us to finish the arrangement of her
mother's deposited inhertance.

Yours' in God,
Rev Richards.


A brain in a jar, is she? Razz Reply to come later.

_________________
"I have reported you to the member of your oasis mission in london through post and hoping that by tuesday the letter will get to the as well according to the currier service."
-- Rev Father Peter Richards

Last edited by Via Caltha on Wed Apr 20, 2005 5:11 pm; edited 1 time in total
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Via Caltha
Wannabe Baiter


Joined: 13 Nov 2004
Posts: 92
Location: England


PostPosted: Thu Apr 07, 2005 11:38 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Quote:
Dear Rev. Richards,

I apologise that our phone lines have been down due to the force of nature - the telegraph pole on our street blew down in the recent freak storms and has yet to be repaired.

I would be glad to help the child. I can send 1000 by Western Union money transfer to the address you gave before. This is the maximum sum that the bank have authorised in the absence of the security validation photograph we discussed previously, and I personally would like to send a lot more - at least 10,000 as I suggested in my previous mail.

Definitivamente forse in God's holy name,

Liam


Worth another try to get that trophy.

_________________
"I have reported you to the member of your oasis mission in london through post and hoping that by tuesday the letter will get to the as well according to the currier service."
-- Rev Father Peter Richards

Last edited by Via Caltha on Wed Apr 20, 2005 5:12 pm; edited 1 time in total
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Via Caltha
Wannabe Baiter


Joined: 13 Nov 2004
Posts: 92
Location: England


PostPosted: Fri Apr 08, 2005 11:59 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Quote:
Dearest Holy Liam,

I wish to thank yopu for your interst in helping the little
child who has no father, mother neither brother nor sister.

we appeciate the sum of 1000.00,You can send it with the
name and address i gave you before. Please do not forget to
send me all the transfer informations on my mail
immediately you send the money as per your promise because
i will be very happy to recieve this divine help from your
church to this orphanage child.

Meanwhile i was extreemly disapointed when i tried to call
you but the number proved abortive. All my entire church
are looking at you for a special prayer to God for your
uprightness and good doings for the sake of christian
relationship.

May God Continue to add to your riches from now forever...

Your in God,
Rev Father Richards.


I'll send a reply tomorrow. I've got a (very obviously) fake WU receipt ready which I'm not going to send until I've played with him for a bit. Expect security forms, "please find attached" mails with no attachments, and a very (ahem) interesting security question. Twisted Evil

_________________
"I have reported you to the member of your oasis mission in london through post and hoping that by tuesday the letter will get to the as well according to the currier service."
-- Rev Father Peter Richards

Last edited by Via Caltha on Wed Apr 20, 2005 5:13 pm; edited 1 time in total
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Via Caltha
Wannabe Baiter


Joined: 13 Nov 2004
Posts: 92
Location: England


PostPosted: Sun Apr 10, 2005 1:12 am Reply with quoteBack to top

Quote:
I made the payment today. My name and address on the slip are:

Liam Gallagher
Church of the Divine Oasis
Manchester
Greater Manchester, M4 6AS

The payment was made from the Western Union office on Letsby Avenue in Manchester, and the control number is . The security answer you should give is "the truth".


To the question "don't believe what?", naturally. The postcode spells out "magas", the street name is an obvious joke and the control number is courtesy of the =random() command in Excel. Very Happy

_________________
"I have reported you to the member of your oasis mission in london through post and hoping that by tuesday the letter will get to the as well according to the currier service."
-- Rev Father Peter Richards

Last edited by Via Caltha on Wed Apr 20, 2005 5:13 pm; edited 1 time in total
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Via Caltha
Wannabe Baiter


Joined: 13 Nov 2004
Posts: 92
Location: England


PostPosted: Thu Apr 14, 2005 6:03 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Either this is him playing stupid, or mail.com cocked up:

Quote:
Dear Liam Gallagher.


how are you today i hope all is fine with you if so i thank
god.my dear Liam whot happing over there because i did not
hear from you please up date me.am waiting to hear from you
soon

Yours' in God,
Rev Richards.


Quote:
Dear Rev Richards

I sent the following:

---
I made the payment today. My name and address on the slip are:

Liam Gallagher
Church of the Divine Oasis
Manchester
Greater Manchester, M4 6AS

The payment was made from the Western Union office on Letsby Avenue in Manchester, and the control number is . The security answer you should give is "the truth".
---

on Saturday. Apologies if you didn't receive it. The money should have reached you by now.

Liam


So there we go. Smile

_________________
"I have reported you to the member of your oasis mission in london through post and hoping that by tuesday the letter will get to the as well according to the currier service."
-- Rev Father Peter Richards

Last edited by Via Caltha on Wed Apr 20, 2005 5:14 pm; edited 1 time in total
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Via Caltha
Wannabe Baiter


Joined: 13 Nov 2004
Posts: 92
Location: England


PostPosted: Thu Apr 14, 2005 10:42 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

And lo and behold:

Quote:
Dear Holy Liam,

i just recieved your information this night, meanwhile, i
will check it out tomorrow but you did not mention the
amount you send. Although i should know truely that you
promised to sent 1.000 only.

I will be very greatful for your help for the care of the
little child who lost her lovely mother. God will continue
to add to your riches by the power of his almighty Amen.

Givers should never lack as it was written in the word of
life.

Thanks a lot and remail blessed. I will get back to you
after recieving the gift from the bossom of your Godly
heart.

Yours In God,
Rev. Father Richards.


Is that "bosom" or "bottom"? Or to put it another way, T or A? Twisted Evil

Edit: at least I know he clearly doesn't have the wit to check it on the Western Union website. This should be fun. Very Happy

_________________
"I have reported you to the member of your oasis mission in london through post and hoping that by tuesday the letter will get to the as well according to the currier service."
-- Rev Father Peter Richards

Last edited by Via Caltha on Wed Apr 20, 2005 5:14 pm; edited 1 time in total
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Via Caltha
Wannabe Baiter


Joined: 13 Nov 2004
Posts: 92
Location: England


PostPosted: Fri Apr 15, 2005 4:09 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Quote:
Dear Holy Liam,

I was upset when Mr. Ndloyo came bact with nothing while
you are claiming to fulfill your pomises. Mind you that he
who speaks or tells lie to man of God will bring course not
unto himself alone but unto his entire generations from now
till hence fort.


Can I get a Genuine Voodoo Curse? Stay tuned! Twisted Evil

Edit on re-read: "bring course unto himself?" What kind of course? Chemistry? English Lit? History of Art? Laughing

Quote:
Please if you are not truely a good God fearing person,
please i will be very happy that you kindly quit every
communication to this my email box because it is not just
ordinary email but blessed by the almighty God.


How many times do I have to tell you? Don't spill holy water on the keyboard!

Quote:
However, stop telling lies to all the peoples you see or
communicate with because every body are not the same so
that your life will be long, because firstly you claimed to
be a man of God while you are not.


Clearly he doesn't believe the truth. Wink

Quote:
Thanks and reman bless my friend but change your atitude
towards your fellow human.

Yours in God.
Rev. Father Richards.


I like my attitude the way it is, thank you so very much. I'm not the thief here. Evil or Very Mad

_________________
"I have reported you to the member of your oasis mission in london through post and hoping that by tuesday the letter will get to the as well according to the currier service."
-- Rev Father Peter Richards

Last edited by Via Caltha on Wed Apr 20, 2005 5:15 pm; edited 1 time in total
View user's profileSend private messageMSN Messenger
Via Caltha
Wannabe Baiter


Joined: 13 Nov 2004
Posts: 92
Location: England


PostPosted: Sat Apr 16, 2005 12:41 am Reply with quoteBack to top

Quote:
Dear Rev Richards,

The content of your last mail disturbs me. Are you trying to tell me that the money didn't arrive? If so, then I can assure you that the problem was not at our end - as I said the bank only require a security validation photograph for transactions over 100. [Note deliberate typo!] Are you sure you gave them the correct information as I sent? This is very worrying - 1000 is a lot of money simply to go missing. There are unscrupulous men out there who would take advantage of our good nature as men of God to make a fast buck [as this bait demonstrates quite nicely] and we must be on our guard. The money they steal won't do them much good when they are burning in Hell, that's for sure.

I pray to almighty God that everything is as it should be.

Liam

_________________
"I have reported you to the member of your oasis mission in london through post and hoping that by tuesday the letter will get to the as well according to the currier service."
-- Rev Father Peter Richards

Last edited by Via Caltha on Wed Apr 20, 2005 5:15 pm; edited 1 time in total
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