First bait, early in the game, what do you think?

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After deleting about 900 of these e-mails from a throwaway account I've been using for other purposes (just never you mind what purposes Wink

), I started reading up on the 419 scam, then discovered baiting, so I decided to give it a try. Here's what we have so far (many thanks to Cherrie for the mentoring thus far Very Happy

):

The scammer: Mrs. Mercy Makaya, widow of the late Brigadier Amadi Makaya blah blah blah

The baiter(s): Toby "Dr. Feelgood" Tyler, chiropractor, Christian, and lonely widower; Hy Houaria, owner of exotic cat import/export company (Houaria Feline Laughing

), (I'm appearing in both roles)

From: "mercy makaya" <[email protected]> Add to Address Book
Subject: FROM MRS.MERCY MAKAYA
To: [email protected]
Date: Fri, 11 Feb 2005 14:31:53 +0200

FROM:MRS.MERCY MAKAYA
TELE/FAX:+27-11-507-5843
EMAIL:[email protected]

ATTN: THE DIRECTOR / C.E.O

REQUEST FOR AN URGENT BUSINESS ASSISTANCE

I cannot imagine the surprise this will bring to you, but
please be rest assured is with good faith and intentions
from a family in dare need of your assistance to help us
transfer the inheritance sum of US$18.3 million into your
account or company's account, in which God will bless you
for rendering a helping hand to others.

I am Mrs. Mercy Makaya of Sierra Leone,(currently residing
and writing from South Africa), the wife of the late
Brigadier Amadi Makaya.I got your contact details in the
course of my discreet search for a reliable and God fearing
person from the Johannesburg Chamber of Commerce and
Industry and after going through your profile, I on behalf
of my children decided to solicit for your kind assistance.

My husband was a brigadier in charge of Arms and Ammunition
procurement for the Sierra Leone Army before his
death.After his death I discovered that in his will, he
specifically drew my attention to the sum of
US$18.3million, which he had deposited in a safe box of the
private Security Company in Johannesburg, South Africa,he
said and I quote Mercy,my beloved wife, I wish to draw your
attention to the sum of US$18.3 million, which I deposited
in South Africa with one of the private Security
Companies.I inherited this fund during my reign as a
brigadier,when I and former special adviser to the
President were assigned by the president (Ahmed Tejan
Kabbah) to purchase arms and ammunition in South Africa. We
discovered that some senior army officers and government
functionaries were helping themselves with government
funds and properties then we decided to use this
opportunity to help ourselves and consequently I got the
total sum of US$18.3 million.I want you to go out of Sierra
Leone to South Africa and solicit for a reliable and
God-fearing individual or company who can help you with
the transfer and investment of this money.I deposited the
box in your
name. Take good care of yourself and the kids. Good bye.

The lives and future of my family depends on this fund as
such I will be grateful if you can assist us.In view of
this, I cannot invest this fund in South Africa hence my
asking you to assist me to transfer it out of South Africa
for investment purposes in your country, which you will be
of a guide.For your efforts, we are prepared to offer you
20% of the total sum while 5% will be set aside for
expenses that will be incurred during the course of this
transaction and the remaining 75% for the family
investment.

Please note that this transaction is risk-free and the
major thing I ask of you is to assure me the safety of the
money when transferred to your account. Further information
and arrangement will commence as soon as trust, confidence
and good relationship is established. I shall be most
grateful if you maintain the confidentiality required in
this transaction.

Please contact me on the above fax number or send me an
email for more information.

Thanks and God bless,

MRS.MERCY MAKAYA
______________________________________________________________

I reply:

Date: Sun, 13 Feb 2005 15:31:17 -0800 (PST)
From: "toby tyler" <[email protected]> Add to Address Book
Subject: Re: FROM MRS.MERCY MAKAYA
To: "mercy makaya" <[email protected]>

Dear Mrs. Mercy Makaya,

Yes, you are right, I was very surprised to recieve
your letter, but I know that God has guided you to me.
Because I am all about "lending a helping hand." You
see, I am a doctor, a chiropractor, actually, and
"helping hand" is my middle name!

I am so sorry about the death of your beloved husband
the Brigadier. You don't say how he died, but I wonder
if he had proper chiropractic care. A lot of people
don't get the chiropractic care they need, you know.

I know what it is like to lose the love of your life.
My own dear wife, Drusilla, or "Silly," as I called
her, died just last year in a freak accident, leaving
me and my young son alone. But I don't wish to burden
you with my own grief. I have learned that the best
way for me to cope with my loss is to avail myself of
every opportunity to do God's work by helping others.
So I will be glad to help you in any way I can, as any
Christian should. Just e-mail me back to tell me how I
can be of help.

Yours in Jesus,
Dr. Toby Tyler

Continued below...

Guest

The lad bites:

Dear Dr. Toby Tyler,

I reecived your email dated on 13th of Feb 2005,Iam very
happy over the interest you shown to asist me to tranfer
this fund to your nominated account overseas.

Please i need your alter most trust and confidentiality of
this transaction is highly needed because as you can see
this fund is every thing i have, and i have the interest of
coming to your country to invest this fund, which you will
lead me to a lucrative venture as i told you in my proposal
that this fund is in the security company and was deposited
as family valuable, according to my lawer he said that you
will send the following to for the change of ownership of
this fund befor the transfer will take place.

1. Your full name and your physcal address
2. A copy of your international passport\ID
3.Your private telephone (moble prefarable) and fax number
for more details.

I will be waiting to hear from you soonest.

Best regard

Mrs. Mercy Makay

The good doctor steps up:

Dear Mercy,

How are you today? I hope it's alright to call you by
your first name. I feel we should not be so formal if
we are going to undertake this business together. I
would like for you to call me by the nickname my
friends call me, since I think you and I will be good
friends. My nickname is Dr. Feelgood. You see, as a
doctor and a chiropractor I have a knack for making
people feel good, so this is why I am called Dr.
Feelgood by my closest friends.

I can assure you, my dear friend Mercy, that I will
give my alter most trust and confidentiality of this
transaction, just as you have asked. So just e-mail me
the name and e-mail address of the lawyer to whom you
want me to send the information of my address, i.d.,
etc.

Mercy, I hope I am not being too personal, but, as a
doctor, I cannot help but notice things. I notice your
tone seems a little sad and a little anxious. My dear
friend, are you getting the chiropractic care you
need? So many people suffer needlessly because they
have spinal misalignments, which cause all sorts of
trouble, including sadness and anxiety. Perhaps when
you come to America to do your investing, I can give
you a thorough chiropractic evaluation and correct the
spinal misalignments that are causing your suffering.
"Get that spine in a line!" is my motto.

I wish you happiness and good spinal health until I
hear from you again. 'Til then I remain,

Your devoted,
Dr. Feelgood

Continued

Guest

Despite assurances from my mentor (Cherrie), I get impatient when a day or two passes with no reply, so I try baiting from a second account. Enter "Hy Houaria":

Date: Thu, 17 Feb 2005 00:54:46 -0800 (PST)
From: "Hy Houaria" <[email protected]> Add to Address Book
Subject: Your Request for Assistance
To: [email protected]

Dear Mrs. Makaya,

I have received your e-mail, and indeed, I am very surprised. Where did you get my e-mail address? I suppose it's fortunate that you did, because we may be able to be of help to each other. As a Christian I am always willing to help fellow Christian in need. And as a business man I am always interested in a business opportunity.

It occurs to me that you may have gotten my contact information from the Chamber of Commerce in Johannesburg. Is this correct? I am in the business of importing and exporting exotic cats. My company, Houaria Feline, has done business in South Africa, and perhaps a Johannesburg client has provided you with my contact information.

If you will write back and provide me more information about the help you need, I will endeavor to be of assiatance.

Sincerely,
Hy Houaria
President and CEO
Houaria Feline

Meanwhile, Dr. Feelgood decides he's not needed, so he wishes Mercy a fond farewell:

Date: Tue, 15 Feb 2005 21:24:07 -0800 (PST)
From: "toby tyler" <[email protected]> Add to Address Book
Subject: No longer need my help?
To: [email protected]

My dear friend, Mercy,

"No news is good news," as the saying goes. Since I
have not received any reply to my last e-mail, I
assume this means you no longer need my assistance
because you have found another kind Christian to help
you in your time of need. This is truly wonderful, and
God has blessed you. I hope all goes without a hitch
and you have your funds in hand soon.

If you would still like to have that chiropractic
evaluation and spinal alignment done when you come to
America, I will be honored to provide those services
for you. And at 50 per cent off my regular fee! Just
kidding, for you, my dear friend, there will be no
charge.

I hope you will write to me from time to time and tell
me of your wonderful new life. 'Til then I remain,

Your devoted,
Dr. Feelgood

Continued

Guest

Hy gets a reply:

Dear Houaria Feline,

Compliment of the day.Thanks for your response to our plea for an
assistance.However we do appreciate your willingness in wanting to
assist us
in accomplishing the success of this transaction.

Actually what we demand is your maximum co-operation and utmost
sincerity as
all the modalities for the smooth conclusion of this transaction has
been
duly perfected.

As you read in our proposal,our inability to handle this transaction on
our
own is due to the financial
policies of the south african government which restricts refugees
having
access to some things like
operating bank accounts e.t.c

In view of this we have solicited for the assistance of a financial
consultant who has agreed to help us with the processes of actualising
the
success of this transaction once we are able to get a reliable and
trustworthy foreigner that will stand as a front for us.

For clarity purpose,I suggest that you call our financial consultant on
your
receipt of this mail
because he is in a better position to clarify you properly on the steps
to
be taken.

His name is Mr Eric Daniels and his direct telephone number
is+27-83-753-5076.

Please do update us after discussing with him.

Thanks for your anticipated co-operation.

Regards.

Mrs Mercy Makaya(for the family)

If I have to read five words when one will do, then by golly, the lads will have to read ten! WARNING: GRAPHIC DEPICTION OF TORTURED ENGLISH beating

Dear Mrs. Mercy Makaya,

I thank you as a means of expressing my gratitude for the reply to my e-mail, which I have received from you, for it is you who have sent the reply. Be assured that I will give, and as a consequence, you will receive, my maximum co-operation and utmost sincerity, because, as you have advised me, all the modalities for the smooth conclusion of this transaction has been duly perfected.

In order to initiate the procedures and actions to start toward a successful and mutually gratifying outcome of the transaction you have proposed to transact, for the purpose of beginning this business venture, which is hoped will be of benefit to us both, I will request and, indeed, ask of you the following, which request appears below:

Due to the deleterious actions of sunspots, which are temporarily and egregiously affecting telephone transmissions, and not for the better, and which will be well known to you, as they have been reported by credible international news sources such as the Weekly World News and the National Probe, attempts to make contact by phone with Financial Consultant Mr. Eric Daniels have been unsuccessful, and a failure in that regard has been experienced. If you could send me, by way of informing me and further disclosing to me, the e-mail address of Financial Consultant Mr. Eric Daniels, I will e-mail him, so as to make the necessary contact with him forthwith, in furtherance of our mutual goal of initiating the procedures and actions to start toward a successful and mutually gratifying outcome of the transaction you have proposed to transact. It is with this purpose in mind that I both request and ask of you that you send me this e-mail address.

Should the deleterious actions of sunspots discontinue their egregiosity, so as to enable a successful resumption of telephone transmissions, free from all heinousness in their effects, whereupon I might make contact by phone with Financial Consultant Mr. Eric Daniels, I will proceed to undertake that endeavor with all due diligence and oscillations, as befits a seriousness of porpoises. In the meantime, I will correspond with Financial Consultant Mr. Eric Daniels by a mutual exchange of e-mails, wherein I will send him an e-mail and, should he be so disposed, he will reply in kind, by sending a reply to my e-mail, whereupon, if indicated by necessity or other need, for the purpose of exchanging information, I will reply to his reply, and this cycle will be repeated, until the desired outcome, the exchange of needed information, both to and from Financial Consultant Mr. Eric Daniels, has been accomplished. It's almost too easy.

It is with eager anticipation that I await your reply, and, for this reason, I look forward to hearing from you soonest.

With warm regards and great verbosity,
Hy Houaria (for the felines)

Continued

Guest

Oh, joy! Dr. Feelgood has not neen forgotten!

Dear Dr. Feelgood,

I recieve your mail and i thank you so much for the intrest you show
to
help me transfer this fund for investment in your Country. I am very
sorry
for the littil dely in replying your mail.Not that i dont need your
help i
realy need you help to achive this transaction

Here is the information of the Lawer.

Name : Barister Thabo Williams
TelePhone :+27-83-774-1631
Fax Number :+27-73-229-9115
Email :[email protected]

It is very urgent because the lawyer tlod me that he is going to the
South
Africa High Court to summit your details for the approveal for change
of
ownership in your name,and also send me the information as well.You can
give
him a call for more directive.

Hoping to hear from you soonest

Best regard

Mrs.Mercy Makaya.

Hey, she keeps calling "Hy Houaria" by the name of his company, what's up with that?

Good day Houaria Feline,

Thanks for your mail which I did acknowledge with the content well
noted.Once again we do appreciate your willingess in wanting to assist
us in
accomplishing the success of this transaction.

As per your request,the email address of the financial consultant
is:ericdaniels101@yahoo.

Please do contact him as soon as possible for him to clarify you on the
steps to be taken.For transparecy reasons also update us afer you
communication with him.

Thanks for your anticipated co-operation.

Regards.

Mrs Mercy Makaya(for the family)

This lad needs a mild slap and some training:

Dear Mrs. Makaya,

I have received your reply, and while I appreciate your promptness, there is an obstacle to the successful initiation of the actions and procedures which will culminate in a mutually gratifying conclusion to our business transaction, and we must resolve this issue before I am able to proceed with the next step of e-mailing Financial Consultant Mr. Eric Daniels for clarity purposes.

I do not wish to offend you, Mrs. Makaya, but if I were not a more patient and understanding gentleman, it is I who would feel offended. I told you in my initial response to your request that my name is Hy Houaria, and that I own and operate an exotic cat import/export company called Houaria Feline. I have signed my subsequent e-mails "Hy Houaria" as well, and my e-mail address also bears the name "Hy Houaria." Yet, on two occasions now, you have addressed me as "Houaria Feline," the name of my company. Perhaps it's a cultural difference. Maybe in your bucolic land a man is nothing more than his business. But in These United States one would never dream of addressing, say, Bill Gates as "Mr. Microsoft Corporation." You wouldn't refer to Lee Iaccoca as "Mr. Chrysler Motors," now would you? Would you call Tommy Hilfiger "Mr. Tommy Hilfiger"? Okay, well, maybe there's a little wiggle room on that one, but surely you see my point, although it is not my intention to call you "Shirley." The point is, in order for me to have confidence that this business will proceed smoothly, it is imperative that I be assured you know my name and can use it properly in context. After all, suppose, for example, that you have to put my name on some legal document. If you use the wrong name, this entire venture will collapse.

In my business we have a saying: "Repetition is the key to learning." My company is often called upon to provide trained cats for use in television and film. If, indeed, there is television in your neolithic homeland, you have almost certainly seen the television advertisements wherein cats ask for their favorite cat food by name. How do you suppose they learn to do this? Do you imagine cats are born knowing how to say the name of their favorite cat food? It takes repetition to instill this learning. I believe we can successfully apply this very principle to our present dilemma, and thereby help you to learn and use my name correctly. The procedure will be as follows:

In order to demonstrate that you have learned my name, I will ask you to send me an e-mail in which you have typed my name repetatively in the following manner:

Hy Houaria Hy Houaria Hy Houaria Hy Houaria...

And so on, until you have successfully mastered the use of my name. Research has shown that a minimum of fifty repetitions are required to learn a new skill, but if you find you need more practice, by all means type as many repetitions as necessary. Once you have sent me the e-mail in which you have typed my name at least fifty times in the manner prescribed above, then I will promptly e-mail Financial Consultant Mr. Eric Daniels for clarity purposes as you have proposed, and we can move toward a mutually gratifying outcome to this business proposal. It is imperative that you complete this training as soon as possible, for only then will I feel confident in joining you in this venture as a sincere and committed partner. And no copying and pasting, that's cheating. Remember, "Cheaters never win and winners never pay retail."

Awaiting your reply with great balls of fire,
Hy Houaria (for the felines)

Luckily, the good Dr. Feelgood is more compassionate:

My dear friend Mercy,

What a joy to receive your e-mail! I had begun to
think you had found another Christian to help you and
would forget all about your devoted Dr. Feelgood. And
a double blessing it was to see that you have agreed
to call me by the nickname that my dearest friends
use. I take this to mean that you now consider me a
dear friend. This is truly the work of our Lord,
bringing two lonely souls together.

Speaking of nicknames, my friend, do you remember that
I told you I lost my dear wife last year? Her name was
Drusilla Honoria Tyler, but of course our family and
friends used the shortened version, "Silly Ho." I
desperatley miss my Silly Ho. But I feel that, in some
ways, you, my newfound friend, can fill the void left
by her loss, and perhaps become my new Silly Ho.

Mercy, I have something I need to talk to you about. I
was speaking to a colleague of mine, Dr. Joey
Buttafuco. Dr. Buttafuco is one of New York's finest
chiropractic proctologists. His expertise with
cephalorectal syndrome attracts patients from as far
away as Nutley, New Jersey. Well, I don't want you to
be alarmed, but I described the sadness and anxiety I
noticed in your other e-mails, and, while it's not
possible to make a diagnosis over the internet, he
thinks you may be suffering from cephalorectal
syndrome. It's a much more common condition than you
might think, and it's certainly nothing to be
embarrassed about. Fortunately, with modern
chiropractic proctological procedures, cephalorectal
syndrome sufferers can almost always have their
cephaluses extricated from their rectaluses. And
unlike many other forms of medical treatment,
chiropractic care is 100% risky free. Perhaps I can
refer you to a competent chiropractic proctologist in
South Africa. When I was a student at the Chiropractic
University of North Tonawanda there were several South
African students training to be doctors. I might be
able to locate a fellow C.U.N.T. alumnus who could
help you get the chiropractic proctological care you
need.

But listen to me, going on and on, when we have
business to attend to! Forgive my digression, dear
Mercy, it's just that it's been so long since I've
shared conversation with a kind Christian woman like
yourself. Thank you for the contact information for
Barrister Thabo Williams. I will contact Barrister
Thabo Williams immediately and most expeditiously.
What information will Barrister Thabo Williams need
from me when I contact him immediately and most
expeditiously? I am very eager for this business to
get underway, as I hope you will come to New York when
you have the funds available so I can get to know my
dear new friend in person! I await your reply soonest.

Your devoted,
Dr. Feelgood

To be continued?

Posted: Mon Feb 21, 2005 8:49 am

nice style! Smile

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