Plastered Proverbs

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Posted: Fri Nov 15, 2019 1:58 pm

In recent times I've started using mutated versions of popular figures of speech in baits - cf the following examples.

I don't know him from a hole in the soap.

It isn't rocket surgery.

Are you jerking my leg?

I’m sorry to burst your parade.

Now I'm thinking of proverb mashups where famous proverbs are paired up, broken up and reassembled without actually losing any words in the process - such as these...

You can't pour water from a dead horse.
There's no point flogging an empty vessel.

Needs must as the fat lady sings.
It ain’t over until the devil drives.

Making a silk purse out of a golden egg.
Don’t kill the goose that laid the sow's ear.

Anyone else...?

Posted: Fri Nov 15, 2019 9:10 pm

I'll definitely be thinking of something to add to this! In the meantime, I always say "pissed on" instead of "pissed off" when berating the lads for something.

Posted: Fri Nov 15, 2019 9:50 pm

I remember a funny one that one of Hector's temple handlers used to remind him to keep his big mouth shut: "loose lips sink tug boats!". I also get a good laugh when certain ditzy baiting characters tell their lads that they are "cornfused" by something. Good times.

Posted: Fri Nov 15, 2019 10:31 pm

^ Inspiration there...

Loose lips make light work.
Many hands sink ships.

Master of Master Baiters Joined: 05 Jan 2017 Posts: 790

I think I first noticed you doing that in the "Merry bait"

Cammy wrote
You said he's a "little boy." Now you tell me he's just five years younger than me! Are you jerking my leg?

Lad wrote
I am not jerking your legs okay, but 21 years is a little boy right...

I love these subtle/not so subtle nuggets in a bait, I often forget what I'm reading or where I was in a bait bit I absolutely love when baiters throw in a little nonsense, tbh this kinda thing is why I keep coming back for more.

Posted: Sat Nov 16, 2019 7:32 am

If a tree falls in the forest, and no-one is there to hear it, the one eyed man is king.
In the country of the blind, does it make a sound?

How long is the head of a pin?
How many angels can dance on a piece of string?

Posted: Sat Nov 16, 2019 9:23 am

I call it rocket geography lol

Posted: Sat Nov 16, 2019 9:25 am

And i actually did hear a tree fall in the forest once. I also saw it. So did the deer that ran away from it Shocked

Posted: Sat Nov 16, 2019 12:29 pm

People who live in glass houses blame their tools.
Bad workmen shouldn’t throw stones.

Posted: Sat Nov 16, 2019 12:51 pm

Can you do one about getting into heaven and shoving a camel through the eye of a needle? It's a rather messy proposition if you ask me.

Posted: Sat Nov 16, 2019 3:15 pm

A bird in the hand gathers no moss

Don't put all your eggs before the horse

Every dog has a silver lining

If it ain’t broke, do as the Romans do

Posted: Sat Nov 16, 2019 3:33 pm

The squeaky wheel is mightier than the sword

Posted: Sat Nov 16, 2019 4:24 pm

Hilarious stuff! I used to mash up sayings all the time in the old Shorty bait. It was a fun form of de-education. I don't remember any off the top of my head. Maybe I'll just go back and re-read the 1,000 or so pages of that bait. Laughing

Posted: Sat Nov 16, 2019 5:10 pm

Not quite the question being asked, but as my church character, I love shoehorning completely random Bible verses into my conversations; I found a website (bibledice.com) that chooses random verses, and as it turns out, it's pretty easy to fit anything into context if you try hard enough. I think at some point the current church lad may have called me out for my interesting choices of verses, but the lads don't mind.

Quote:

Many hands sink ships

I'm stealing that.

Posted: Sat Nov 16, 2019 5:38 pm

Once bitten, twice fried!

Posted: Sat Nov 16, 2019 5:58 pm

Don't bite the foot that kicks the ball off?

Posted: Sun Nov 17, 2019 1:05 am

The early bird has no turning
It’s a long road that gets the worm

A rolling stone has no turning.
It’s a long road that gathers no moss.

Posted: Sun Nov 17, 2019 1:18 am

Just got off the line with a lad that told me that he was unable to pick up the funds.

I told him he was being so negative. Saying he could not do something will make it impossible to do it. Its self fulfilling progeny.

Posted: Sun Nov 17, 2019 2:01 am

How about a couple of mashed-up Nigerian proverbs?

A fly that has no counsellor should not eat dog-meat soup.
He who abhors dog meat follows the corpse to the grave.

When sleep becomes enjoyable, the ground becomes a nuisance.
When the fowl farts, we snore.

Posted: Sun Nov 17, 2019 4:47 am

The milkmaid must not drink on the bearskin before the chickens hatch.
This is spliced from three different proverbs in three different languages that all mean the same thing.

Make an elephant out of a molehill.
Make a mountain out of a fly.
Greek or Russian spliced with English.

The mend justifies the jeans.

If wishes were horses, Paris would be in a bottle.
With ifs, beggars would ride.
French spliced with English, neither of which makes sense to me.

Posted: Sun Nov 17, 2019 10:56 am

A rolling stone makes light work.
Many hands gather no moss.

A rolling stone saves nine.
A stitch in time gathers no moss.

Elite Baiter Joined: 28 Mar 2015 Posts: 1916

These are all priceless! Love them

Posted: Sun Nov 17, 2019 10:25 pm

Don’t cry over the messenger.
Don’t shoot spilled milk.

Don’t put all your eggs before the horse.
Don’t put the cart in one basket.

Posted: Sun Nov 17, 2019 11:27 pm

You can tune a piano but you can't make it drink.
You can lead a horse to water but you can't tuna fish.

Posted: Mon Nov 18, 2019 3:48 am

Cross the stream at its weakest link.
A chain is only as strong as it is shallow.

All roads get the Greece.
The squeaky wheel leads to roam.