Brother Henry joins Phil McCavity's Church of the Dark One

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Not quite a Newb Joined: 13 Sep 2004 Posts: 69

I�ve decided it�s time to publish my magnum opus of a bait. Those of you who have seen the pictures forum may be familiar with Brother Henry Onoura and my Church of Evangelical Medical Predilections and Ischemic Love of the Dark One (C.O.E.M.P.A.I.L.O.F.D.O).

This particular bait is still rumbling on 6 months after it started charting one mugu's fruitless journey from Christian evangelist to emissary of the Dark Lord Choronzon.

This bait has provided me with the most enjoyment and trophies of any bait thus far. Due to the size of it I�m going to edit and post it in five parts for you to enjoy as I get done with preparing them.

The cast is as follows:

Dr Philip McCavity - A reverend in the C.O.E.M.P.A.I.L.O.F.D.O
Father Julius Grinn � Elder of the C.O.E.M.P.A.I.L.O.F.D.O
Tunde Okon � Introduced later on, played by myself portraying another mugu who is successfully conning the Church

And our unfortunate mugu is

[Brother] Henry Onoura � Presently a 2nd Degree acolyte in the C.O.E.M.P.A.I.L.O.F.D.O

Part 1 � Recruitment

So we see another email pop into the inbox of Dr Philip McCavity and this one has a religious feel to it

Date: Wed, 24 Nov 2004 10:07:18 -0800 (PST)
From: "HENRY ONUORA" <[email protected]> Add to Address Book
Subject: MAY THE PEACE OF LORD BE WITH YOU
To: [email protected]

MY DADDY IN THE LORD

THIS IS MY FIRST MISSIVE TO YOU AND I HOPE YOU WOULDN"T BE SO SUPPRISE I AM EVANGELIST .HENRY .U. ONUORA FROM CHARISTIMATIS REVIVAL MOVEMENT( NIGERIA),

MAY PEACE OF THE LORD BE WITH YOU AND THE ENTIRE MENBERS OF CHURCH . MY DUTY IS TO PROCLAIM THE GOOD NEWS TO UNBELIVERS IN THE PRISONS YARDS WHY I CHOOSE THE PRISONS IS BECAUSE I WAS ONCE CONVICT IN 1999AND WAS LATER RELEAS BY THE YEAR 2002.

WHEN I WAS IN THE PRISONS I MET REV DR RICHARD ANI OF CHRIST APOSTOLIC CHURCH WHO PREACHED AND INTRODUCED ME TO CHRIST, AND FROM THERE I BE COME AN AMBASODOR OF CHRIST Jesus.

MY AIM OF WRITING TO YOU, IS TO ASK FOR ASSISTANCE IN MY MISSIONARY WORK .I HAVE SAVED MANY SOULS IN THE PRISONS WHO ARE READY TO WORK WITH ME ,BUT NO MATERIALS TO DO THE WORK OF GOD LIKE (BIBLES,CLOTHS ,SOAPS ,DETERGENTS,PROVISIONS,

AND DRUGS )FOR THE PRISONS IN MATE.

PLAESE SIR IF IT WILL BE POSSIBLE FOR YOU TO HELP ME IN MY CAMPAIN FOR CHRIST DO NOT HESITET TO DO SO FOR ON THE WORD OF GOD I STAND

SECONDLY I WANT YOU TO ASSIST ME IN OPENING AN EVANGENLICAL CAMP OR A SCHOOL OF THEOLOGY WIHT CHURCH NAME I HAVE THE LAND WE CAN USE FOR IT .

I WILL LIKE TO STOP HERE TILL I HEAR FROM YOU

A WAITING FOR YOUR URGENT REPLY SOON

FROM EVANGELIST HENRY. U. ONUORA

MY PRIVETE EMAIL:

And as if by Magic, the good Doctor becomes a Reverend and the Church of Evangelical Medical Predilections and Ischemic Love of the Dark One is born. The name was chosen to make it as hard as possible for somebody to type or write on a sign Smile

Date: Sat, 27 Nov 2004 18:11:27 +0000 (GMT)
From: "Phil McCavity"
Subject: Re: MAY THE PEACE OF LORD BE WITH YOU
To: "HENRY ONUORA" <[email protected]>

Henry,

It must be providence that brought you to my congregation my son.

I am the Reverend Dr Philip McCavity and I a secretary in the Church of Evangelical Medical Predilections and Ischemic Love of the Dark One. It warmed my heart to read of your salvation while in prison and I believe that our church may be able to help.

Our church has missions and provides free dental clinics for poorer nations as well as helping with other forms of aid in the Dark One's name.

Please contact me with details of how our church may be able to assist you as we are always interested in conjoining with other movements in the name of our almighty Lord.

Kind regards

Dr Philip McCavity

A response with the strangest pseudo-religious gobbledegook I have seen yet (until then) wings its way back

Date: Thu, 2 Dec 2004 12:02:57 -0800 (PST)
From: "HENRY ONUORA" <[email protected]> Add to Address Book
Subject: PLS HELP MY EVANGELISM
To: "Phil McCavity" < >

MY BELOVED DADDY
thank you for your mail to me before i proceed further i will like to know about your present condition of health which is the most foundamental amunity in human life i hope fine, if so cloxology.

daddy this is how you can help me my evangelism is from prison to to prisom and to timid villages in the country were the gosple of our lord jesus christ have not been preached .

for the gospel to have inpct on the prisoners and the awating trial men i need back ups like bibles for devotion ,clothes,detergents and soap for washing and bathing and drugs for the sick among them .

secondly i need your help spritually in terms of prayer pray to God on my behalf so that i will contineu in my work as a messnger of the Almigthy father .

i have some plot of land where we can build anything to lift up the gosple like, church ,school, of theology or orphaneg the land i wll give it free for the works of God

you can help me in cash or in kind if you can send any of the above mentioned items my heart will be filld with joy ,as it was written in the bilbe "that there will be joy in heaven when a single soul repents here on earth"

may the good GOD you serve contineu to give you strength power and knwolegde as you contineu doing your works as a minister of GOD almight

thanks and remain bless evangelist henry onuora

And the offer to start the first Nigerian branch of the C.O.E.M.P.A.I.L.O.F.D.O is made

Date: Fri, 3 Dec 2004 21:08:49 +0000 (GMT)
From: "Phil McCavity"
Subject: Re: PLS HELP MY EVANGELISM
To: "HENRY ONUORA" <[email protected]>

My Dear Henry,

Truly I am happpy tp resp[ond to you. I want you to know that I am fit and well. I have spoken to the elders of the church and told them how you have found the Dark One and they are interested in spreading the word on your continent.

Would you be willing to join our church and act as our missionary in evangelism in Nigeria?

Tonight we will worship and make a small sacrifice in your name. I hope to speak to you soon

Rev Dr Philip McCavity

Our first acolyte joins

Date: Sat, 4 Dec 2004 02:19:24 -0800 (PST)
From: "HENRY ONUORA" <[email protected]> Add to Address Book
Subject: ACCEPTANCE
To: "Phil McCavity" < >

Truly I am happpy tp resp[ond to you. I want you to know that I am fit and well. I have spoken to the elders of the church and told them how you have found the Dark One and they are interested in spreading the word on your continent.
Would you be willing to join our church and act as our missionary in evangelism in Nigeria?

MY DEAREST DADDY

happy is the finger that dumps on the board while glory is the brian that tells me whats to write and gladness will be yours when you are reading this massage.

Daddy i am willing to join your church and as your missionary in evangelism here in Nigeria, for pain makes man think and thinking makes man wise and wisdom makes life endeurable my refrence from luke 4 vs 18

Thanks and GOD be with you and your family and your church menbers

EVANGELIST HENRY ONUORA

Of course, if you are going to join you will need to be baptised. I just need some time to figure out a ceremony and a nice hook for Brother Henry

Date: Mon, 6 Dec 2004 11:50:22 +0000 (GMT)
From: "Phil McCavity"
Subject: Re: ACCEPTANCE
To: "HENRY ONUORA" <[email protected]>

Henry,

Thank you for your interest in our church. i have spoken this morning to the elders of our church about your interest and they will consider your request. I have spoken to them personaly of how much I feel you will be able to offer and will get back to you shortly if they accept. I will only then be able to provide you with details of the baptism ceremony you will need to undertake to become one of us in our quest for the dark lord.

Can you tell me what sort of area you think we should be putting our church in in Nigeria?Sadly none of our acolytes here know anything about your country so I hope you will be able to provide us with sage advice.

Henry, I truly believe it is providence that you have come to us at this time. I look forward to hearing from you soon.

Philip

Brother Henry then begins to get excited about what he will do for our church

Date: Tue, 7 Dec 2004 02:19:53 -0800 (PST)
From: "HENRY ONUORA" <[email protected]> Add to Address Book
Subject: I AM WAITING FOR YOUR QUICK RESPONSE INCLUDING YOUR TELEPHONE NUMBER
To: "Phil McCavity" < >

My dearest Daddy,

Good morning to you and everybody in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ.

How is everybody today? I guess fine.

Thanks for your quick response which must be highly respected in regard to this investment.

Anyway, I planned that the church will be put up in Southern part of the country where we have numerous people.

On the other hand, as soon as everything is ok, I will like you to come down for negotations, I have already got a some plots of land where where this church will be built based on my first proposal to you.

Therefore, everything lies on your hand and the members of the church as I will like to hear from you upon the receipt of this message as to intimate me the progress of the investment.

Meanwhile, your telephone number will be highly appreciated so as to enable me get across to you for us to hear each other's voice and rub our minds.

Thanks and GOD be with you and your family and your church menbers

EVANGELIST HENRY ONUORA

I�m still thinking and Brother Henry is keen to progress his seminar plans�

Date: Thu, 9 Dec 2004 05:29:15 -0800 (PST)
From: "HENRY ONUORA" <[email protected]> Add to Address Book
Subject: waiting for the BAPTISM
To: "Phil McCavity" < >

My Dearest Daddy

I HAVE WAITED FOR THE PAST TWO DAYS TO HEAR FROM YOU BUT TO NO AVAIL ,THEN I DECIDED TO WRITE TO YOU, TO KNOW IF ALL IS WELL .

PLEASE DADDY , I WANT TO TRAVEL OUTSIDE LAGOS HERE TO PORTHARCOT FOR A CRUSADE AND I CAN NOT GO WITHOUT YOUR CONSENT THAT IS WHY I DROP THIS MASSAGE

I AM WAITING TO HEAR FROM YOU ABOUT THE BAPTISM

THANKS AND REMAIN BLESS

EVANGELIST HENRY ONUORA

Finally I respond with details of the baptism ceremony

Date: Fri, 10 Dec 2004 18:21:55 +0000 (GMT)
From: "Phil McCavity"
Subject: Re: waiting for the BAPTISM
To: "HENRY ONUORA" <[email protected]>

Henry,

I apologise for the delay however patience is a virtue to our church. Nevertheless I have now spoken with our elders, and Father Grinn is agreeable to you being baptised into our faith.

I will now explain to you the baptism ceremony which shall need to be performed. It is very simple. I would also ask that you send to our church at least one photograph in an email of you completing you performing the ceremony.

The Church of Evangelical Medical Predilections and Ischemic Love of the Dark One is one which is founded upon the tenets of living well and good oral hygiene to worship the dark lord and spread the importance of balance in life.

I am your sponsor for entry to the church and as such will be the UK liaison to your Nigerian branch of the Church of Evangelical Medical Predilections and Ischemic Love of the Dark One.

To be baptised you must send a photograph of yourself holding a cross fashioned out of toothbrushes. The cross should be held upside down and you need to be standing under a sign which says "Baptised into Church of Evangelical Medical Predilections and Ischemic Love of the Dark One by Dr Philip McCavity". You should keep the sign for this is to be used in all baptisms into our church.

It is up to you how many toothbrushes you use, the minimum is 3 and the most we have ever had was one which was made of 29 by Brother Cameltoe from Latvia. Do you think you can beat 29?

Henry I am glad you have agreed to spread our word in Nigeria and if there is anything I can do to help then please just ask and pray. I look forward to witnessing your baptism.

Kind regards

Dr Philip McCavity

A nice long garbled explanation follows about the seminar with further requests for money

Date: Sun, 12 Dec 2004 10:20:01 -0800 (PST)
From: "HENRY ONUORA" <[email protected]> Add to Address Book
Subject: THANKS FOR YOUR MAIL
To: "Phil McCavity" < >

MY BELOVED DADDY

THE JOUNNEY OF ONE THOUSAND KILLOMETERS BEGING WITH A STEP ,FIRSTLY I WILL LIKE YOU TO ELABORATE TO ME CONCERNING THE BRUSH .I NEEDTO SEE A SAMPLE OF THE BRUSH CROSS PLS SCAN IT AND SEND IT TO ME THROUGH MY MAIL

SECONDLY NIGERIA IS ONE OF THE BIGGEST COUNTRY IN AFRICA WITH 36 STATES ,I WANT THE CHURCH TO BE ERECTED HERE IN LAGOS ,BECAUSE CHURCHES IN NIGERIA IS COMPETITION,THERE ARE MANY CHURCHES HEREIN NIGERIA AND THEIR H/Q IS BASED HERE IN LAGOS ,

I HENRY KNOWS WHAT IT WILL TAKES ME TO CONVINCE PEOPLE INTO BEING A MENBER .I WILL NOOT TELL YOU THE NUMBER OF PEOPLE I WILL BRING IN TO THE CHURCH ALREADY I HAVE MORE THAN 100 PEOPLE WORKING WITH ME NOW SPREADING THE WORD OF GOD HERE IN NIGERIA

DADDY I HAVE MADE ARRANGEMENT FOR A SEMINER HERE IN LAGOS ON THE 22nd OF THIS DECEMBER TO HIGHLIGHT PEOPLE OF THE NEED TO BELONG OR BE A MEMBER OF OUR CHURCH AND ANOTHER SEMINER AT ENUGU THE CAPITAL OF EASTHERN STATE WHERE I COME FROM .

I HAVE EVERY TOOLS FOR THE WORK BUT THE ONE THING I NEED FROM YOU IS TO BACK ME UP FINANCIALY .I NEED MONEY FOR THIS SEMINER IT IS NOT IN ONE TOWN OR ONE STATE I WILL GO ATLEAST 20 STATES IN NIGERIA .

CHRISTMAS IS A FESTIVAL SEASONS FOR CHRISTIANS HERE IN AFRICA ESPECIALLY HERE IN NIGERIA,

THIS IS A CHALLENGE FOR I WANT TO TAKE THIS CHURCH TO MANY AFRICAN COUNTRY LIKE SOUTH AFRICA,GHANA ,CAMMEROUN,AND TOGO. AFTER SIX MONTHS OF BEING OPENED HERE IN NIGERIA

PLEASE DADDY TELL THE ELDERS OF THE CHURCH ABOUT MY PROPOSED SEMINER ON THE 22-12-2004 I NEEDFINANCIAL BACKING AND PRAYER THE BALL IS NOW ON YOUR COURT

I NEED SOME HIGHLIGHT ABOUT WHAT THE CHURCH IS ALL ABOUT, SO AS TO USE IT ON THE SEMINER .I WANT TO KNOW YOU AND THE ELDERS OF THE CHURCH AS AN AFRICAN MAN I NEED TO KNOW WHOM I AM DOING BUSINESS WITH .

THANKS AND GOD BLESS YOU AND YOUR FAMILY ANDTHE ENTIRE MEMBERS OF THE CHURCH

AND DADDY I NEED YOUR PHONE NUMBER SO THAT I CAN CALL YOU

YOUR SON EVANGELIST HENRY ONUORA

Followed later that day by another. I can almost imagine Brother Henry in his Internet Caf� thinking how he will spend the money

Date: Sun, 12 Dec 2004 10:49:46 -0800 (PST)
From: "HENRY ONUORA" <[email protected]> Add to Address Book
Subject: I NEED YOUR HELP THIS TIME URGENTLY DADDY
To: "Phil McCavity" < >

DADDY

AS I SAID BEFORE, PAIN MAKES MAN THINK AND THINKING MAKES MAN WISE AND WISDOM MAKES LIFE ENDEURABLE ANY MAN WITHOUT A POLICEY IS JUST LIKE A NATION WITHOUT A CULTURE

I AM A MAN OF MY WORD MY FIRST MISSIVE SAYS THAT I AM IN NEED OF HELP FOR PEOPLE WHO ARE IN THE PRISON YARDS .

I KNOW WHAT IS HAPPENING THERE BECAUSE I HAVE BEING THERE WHEN I WAS THERE I MADE A PROMISE THATI WILL BE COMEING TO SEE THEM BRINGING SALVETION TO THEM. I NEED BIBLE ,CLOTHS ,DRUGS ,AND FOOD FO R THEM EVERY CHRISTIMAS AND THIS HAS COME I RAN TO YOU FOR HELP INSTEAD OF THE HELP YOU OFFERD ME A JOB TO EXECUTE HERE IN NIGERIA OFF WHICH I WILLING ACCEPTED TO DO.

PLAESE DADDY I DONT WANT TO FAIL MY PROMISE SINCE I MET YOU ,ALL MY MIND IS ON WHAT TO DO, NOT TO FAIL MY WHITE MAN FATHER BY PLANING ON HOW TO TAKE THE CHURCH FAR IF WE HAVE TO SUCCED WE MUST NOT FAIL CHARITY WORK .SUPPORT ME TO MAKE THIS YEARS PRISON FEAST A REALITY AND I WILL SUPPRISE YOU .

N/B

"BLESSED IS THE HAND THAT GIVETH THAN THE ONE THAT TAKETH"

IAM AWAITING FOR YOUR HELP ON THE PRISONERS FOR THIS YEAR FEAST

THANKS AND GOD BLESS

EVANGELIST HENRY ONUORA

Time to clarify the instructions I sent

Date: Sun, 12 Dec 2004 22:17:20 +0000 (GMT)
From: "Phil McCavity"
Subject: Re: THANKS FOR YOUR MAIL
To: "HENRY ONUORA" <[email protected]>

Brother Henry,

Thank you for your kind words, the seminar sounds like a wonderful idea and I would be thrilled to have the name of our Dark Lord associated with it assuming you are baptised and acting as part of our faith. I have asked our elders and Father Grinn agreed it would be wonderful if we could help you in time for the coming holiday season!

I must confess I am surprised you do not know what a toothbrush is, are things really so poor? No matter though, I have attached a diagram and images so you know what we are talking of for the cross.

To remind you of the baptism photo I will tell you again of the ceremony. To be baptised you must send a photograph of yourself holding a cross fashioned out of toothbrushes. The cross should be held upside down and you need to be standing under a sign which says "Baptised into Church of Evangelical Medical Predilections and Ischemic Love of the Dark One by Dr Philip McCavity". You should keep the sign for this is to be used in all baptisms into our church.

I hope we are able to do this in good time to coming holiday season.

If you have any more questions please do not hesitate to contact me. I would be grateful if you could let me know when you will be ready to join us as I must prepare our church stationrry for having a new country represented.

In furtherance of the Dark Lord's wishes,

Rev Dr Philip McCavity

"Brush once, floss once" - Bareit V5:13

And at the same time I introduce Brother Henry to the leader of our cult�sorry � Church � Father Julius Grinn

Date: Mon, 13 Dec 2004 23:54:19 -0800 (PST)
From: "Julius Grinn" <Father Julius Grinn> Add to Address Book

Subject: I hope to welcome you to our church
To: [email protected]
CC: "Phil" < >

Brother Henry,

Please forgive me for being so late in welcoming you personally. Rev Dr Philip McCavity has informed me and the other elders of your desire to join the Church of Evangelical Medical Predilections and Ischemic Love of the Dark One and act as our emmisary in Nigeria. I am thankful that your are in pursuit of our religion and I just wish to say if there is anything I can do to help then you need only ask it.

I hope your preparations for the baptism ceremony and the seminar are progressing well. Please contact Rev Philip with any direct requests as sadly church business means I get precious little time for correspondence.

FInally let me say welcome and the dark Lord bless you.

Faithfully yours,

Father Julius Grinn.
"Elder of the Church of Evangelical Medical Predilections and Ischemic Love of the Dark One,
Sainted Knight of the Scissor, Stone and Paper Trinity"

Nothing so a little prod�

Date: Wed, 15 Dec 2004 22:33:54 +0000 (GMT)
From: "Phil McCavity"
Subject: Re: I NEED YOUR HELP THIS TIME URGENTLY DADDY
To: "HENRY ONUORA" <[email protected]>

Brother Henry,

I have not yet heard from you and Father Grinn has asked me to contact you and establish if you are still wishing to join our church. The time for your seminar is approaching and I need to know if we are going to be joining forces to spread the word.

I trust you are well and I shall light a candle at our altar for you tonight.

In prayer

Rev. Dr Philip McCavity

And suddenly our church has it�s first member (allegedly)

From Brother Henry to Father Grinn

DEAR DADDY
THANKS FOR YOUR MAIL TO ME I AM NOW A FULL MENBER OF YOUR CHURCH BECAUSE I HAVE PERFORM THE CEREMONEY AND I HAVE SNAP THE PICTURE WITH ME HOLDING THE CROSS UP SIDE DOWN AS PER WHAT YOU TOLD ME IF THRE IS ANY WHERE YOU CAN HELP ME THAT I SHOULD TELL YOU ,INEED YOUR HELP NOW

1) FOR THE PRISONERS FEAST AND THE SEMINAR FOR THIS ARE THE TWO MAJOR APPONTENT I HAVE BEFORE THE YEAR RUN OUT NOW THAT I AM YOUR FULL MENBER HELP ME FOR YOU SHALL RECIEVEBACK THANKS AND GOD BLESS YOU AND YOUR FAMILY IN JESUS NAME AMEN

YOUR SON

EVANGELIST HENRY ONUORA

Now, about the money��.

Date: Wed, 15 Dec 2004 16:31:33 -0800 (PST)
From: "HENRY ONUORA" <[email protected]> Add to Address Book

Subject: I HAVE SNAP THE PICTURE TODAY
To: "Phil McCavity" < >

DEAR DADDY

How are you and family and menber of your church today? I hope fine.

A stick in time they said saves time i have accepted to be a menber of your church of noting is in my main if not you and your church i have a seminar comming up on the 22nd of this month here in lagos off wchich God knows that i am doing it for the church i need encouragement from you by sending something to me for the seminar .

I have taking the picture with the cross and brush held up side dowan today i will scan it and send it to by saturday morning because the photographer said that i should come and collect it on frinday night then the following day i will send it to you

The most inportant thing to me my side now is money which i will use to the seminar iwant to present a very more callulative and planned seminaer as i told you before churches in nigeria is competition

THANKS AND GOD BLESS YOU AND YOUR FAMILY IN JESUS NAME AMEN

YOUR SON

EVANGELIST HENRY ONUORA

Time to offer up a little care package for Brother Henry, full of useful items for him

Date: Thu, 16 Dec 2004 08:08:21 +0000 (GMT)
From: "Phil McCavity"
Subject: Re: I HAVE SNAP THE PICTURE TODAY
To: "HENRY ONUORA" <[email protected]>

Brother Henry,

Greetings to you. I am glad that you are well, I feared perhaps temptation had drawn you from our ways but apparently it is not so.

I understand you will be sending the baptism photo by the end of the week. This cutting it rather fine for the seminar but I trust that you know what you are doing. Obviously the elders will not let me assist unless you are part of our church so you must ensure that you are correctly baptised into our church before we can truly move forwards.

I will need a few details from you however to help us prepare. Firstly I need to know how our church can help you with the seminar? I was considering sending bibles, toothbrushes and dental floss via FedEx however I fear that perhaps we are too close to that date to be able to reach you in time. Would money be okay instead? Would you be able to purchase and distribute bibles and dental goods yourself? Finally if you require money I need to know how much as well to ensure the funds in our Overseas account are sufficient.

I hope you are well Brother and look forward to hearing from you soon.

In the dark Lord's name

Rev Philip McCavity

"An apple a day keeps the dentist away" Armnhammer V19:3

Strangely, he�d rather have the money�.

Date: Fri, 17 Dec 2004 02:18:59 -0800 (PST)
From: "HENRY ONUORA" <[email protected]> Add to Address Book
Subject: THANKS FOR YOUR UNDERSTANDING
To: "Phil McCavity" < >

DEAR DADDY IN LORD

How are you and family and menber of your church today? I hope fine.

Buying things like you said is good but you cannot buy things the way it should realy be bougth ,because time now is too short ,please daddy if you can

send money to me like three thousand dollers to help me pay for the place i will hire for the seminer and other things for the prisoners

.secondly tell some thing about the dark lord so that i will know how to place my seminer speech to the people here in nigeria

PLS DADDY I NEED YOUR TELEPHONE SO THAT I CAN CALL YOU

THANKS AND GOD BLESS

EVANGELIST HENRY ONUORA

Of course we�ll send you the money��..

Date: Fri, 17 Dec 2004 17:09:51 +0000 (GMT)
From: "Phil McCavity"
Subject: Re: THANKS FOR YOUR UNDERSTANDING
To: "HENRY ONUORA" <[email protected]>

Brother Henry,

Thank you for your quick response to my email. I am glad to hear that preparations for our church's first Nigerian seminar are well in hand. Father Grinn was thrilled when I explained to him that we would be ready in time for the presentation. It is a shame we are not able to send you the goods such as the toothbrushes, floss and snapping joke dentures in time however I agree that sending money to you is the most pragmatic approach in these circumstances.

I do not think there will be any problem sending you the money assuming you can prove that you have been correctly baptised into our church. Obviously we won't just send money to anybody however our missions are frequently donating funds and dipping into the pot to spread the word of good dental hygiene and correct worship of the dark lord.

Upon receipt of your baptismal evidence I shall forward you a funds withdrawl request which will identify how you can withdraw church funds.

I hope you are well and I look forward to speaking to you soon. Finally, for your records my personal phone number is 07786 nnnnnnn

I look forward to speaking with you,

In honour of the dark one

Rev Philip McCavity

"Canines, Molars, Inscisors, Scissors - Only three of these be teeth" - Gospel of St Mentadent

Another prod from Father Grinn

Date: Fri, 17 Dec 2004 15:18:53 -0800 (PST)
From: "Julius Grinn" <Father Julius Grinn>
Subject: Re: I AM A FULL MENBER AS FROM TODAY
To: "HENRY ONUORA" <[email protected]>

Brother Onoura,

I am happy to hear you have performed the ceremony. Please will you forward the necessary photographic proof of the ceremony to Rev McCavity to as he can commence preparing for your prison seminar.

I would like to welcome you personally to the Church of Evangelical Medical Predilections and Ischemic Love of the Dark One.

Sincerely,

Father Julius Grinn.
Elder of the Church of Evangelical Medical Predilections and Ischemic Love of the Dark One,
Sainted Knight of the Scissor, Paper and Stone Trinity

And then I get my trophy

Date: Sat, 18 Dec 2004 01:15:43 -0800 (PST)
From: "HENRY ONUORA" <[email protected]> Add to Address Book

Subject: WAITING FOR THE FUNDS URGENTLY
To: "Phil McCavity" < >

DEAR DADDY ,

PLEASE DONT BE OFENDED FORTHE DELAY IN SENDING THE PICTURE .IT IS DEU TO SOME CIRCUMSTANCES BEYOND MY CONTROL .BUT THANK GOD FINALY I HAVE DONE IT .

THIS IS THE PICTURE ,ALTHOUGH IT IS NOT AS BRIGHT AS IT SUPPOSE TO BE THIS IS TO TELL YOU THAT I DID WHAT YOU ASK ME TO DO .I HOPE NOW I AM BAPTISED INTO YOUR CHURCH NOW.

SECONDLY I NEED THAT MONEY I TOLD YOU OF,ON MONDAYTO ENABLE ME ROUND UP THINGS FOR THE SEMINER

PLEASE SEND THE MONEY THROUGH WESTERN UNION MONEY TRANSFER ,

WITH THIS NAME :MICHEAL ECHIE

QUASTION:WHAT IS YOUR OCCUPATION

ANSWER: EVANGELISM

COUNTRY :NIGERIA

STATE:LAGOS

OR IF THERE IS ANY OTHER MEANS OF SENDING THE MONEY TO ME PLEASE DO FOR TIME IS NOT IN MY FAVOUR NOW

N/B

PLEASE DADDY DONT BE ANOYED IF THE PICTURE IS NOT AS YOU EXPECT IT .IT FROM THE PHOTOGRAPHAR IF THIS IS NOT ENOUGH TELL ME &I WILL SEND ANOTHER ONE I HAVE DID EVERYTHING HUMANLY POSSIBLE TO MAKE SURE THE SEMINER HOLD FOR THE SAKE OF THE DARK LORD. THAT HIS MASSAGE WILL BE PREACHED HERE IN NIGERIA SOME OF MY FRIENDS WHOM I TOLD ABOUT THE SEMINER ARE MAKING MOCKRY OF ME THEY SAID I AM HOLDING SEMINER WITHOUT MONEY .THEY SAID YOU ARE FOOLING ME .PLEASE I WANT YOU TO PROVE THEM WRONG BY MAKING FUNDS AVAILEBLE .

DADDY THE PHONE NUMBER YOU GAVE TO ME IS NOT COMPLETE I DONT KNOW WHAT THIS NNNNNNN MEANS

THANKS AND GOD BLESS YOU AND YOUR FAMILY MENBER

EVANGELIST HENRY ONUORA

Photo attached

Of course, the sign is unreadable so it�s time to ask for another. At this point I start to play Rev McCavity off against Father Grinn in an �I�d love to help you but my hands are tied� kind of way.

Brother Henry,

I quite understand that you have suffered hardships and difficulties. Once you are within our church fully I hope that our partnership will ease your burden.

Sadly I have this morning spoken with Father Grinn and he has told me that your photo is simply not clear enough. It is impossible to read the words upon it, indeed he said you could have been baptised a disco dancer for all he knew!

Believe me brother I pleaded with him to allow you entry, you clearly understood about the cross of toothbrushes. Father Grinn however was insistent and became angry with me when I asked you be let in immediately without the full baptism evidence.

I am sorry brother but he told me that until we can clearly see the picture then we cannot have you as a full member of the church. You will have to get the photo taken more clearly and scanned at a higher resolution so that the writing can be read. How long do you think this will take? Time is against us however we have all day today before Monday comes.

I would actually suggest getting the baptism words written on a banner then it will be clearly visible in the photograph and for use in all subsequent baptisms. While this may take longer the church would be especially grateful and generous but that is a matter for you.

I am sorry I cannot help any more however this decision comes from the head of our branch and I am only his secretary. Please contact me immediately.

In faith

Rev Philip McCavity

"Nails are not toothpicks" - Johnson and Johnson 1:49

Another Picture is on the way�

Date: Mon, 20 Dec 2004 06:47:00 -0800 (PST)
From: "HENRY ONUORA" <[email protected]> Add to Address Book

Subject: I HAVE TAKEN ANOTHER PICTURE.
To: "Phil McCavity" < >

THANKS FOR YOUR LAST MAIL TO ME. I AM SOUND AND HEALTHY. HOW IS YOUR PRESENT CONDITION OF HEALTH, I HOPE FINE? IF SO THANKS BE TO GOD.

PLEASE DON'T BE OFFENDED FOR NOT REPLYING YOUR MAIL EARLY. I TRAVELLED TO ENUGU THE CAPITAL OF THE EASTERN STATE. THE PRISON FEAST COMES UP ON THE 28TH OF THIS MONTHS. I CHOOSE ENUGU BECAUSE THEIR WE HAVE THE HIGHEST NUMBER OF PRISONERS. THE DARK LORD, SEMINER AT ENUGU COMES ON THE 29 OF THIS MONTH AT ENUGU POLO PARK.

NB: LAGOS STATE NOW IS DESERTED, PEOPLE HAVE TRAVELLED TO THERE DIFFERENT HOME TOWN FOR THE XMAS CELEBRATION SO I SHIFTED THE SEMINAR TO 2ND OF JANUARY 2005.

I HAVE TAKEN ANOTHER PICTURE, I HOPE TO SENDIT ON WEDNESDAY NIGHT BY HIS GRACE.

THANKS.

EVANGELIST HENRY ONUORA

So just a quick note to say Hi

Date: Sun, 19 Dec 2004 16:19:35 +0000 (GMT)
From: "Phil McCavity"
Subject: Re: THE PICTURE
To: "HENRY ONUORA" <[email protected]>

Brother Henry,

I trust this day finds you well and that you have been worshipping the dark lord today. I hope and pray that you find the strength to continue with your seminar and I look forward to hearing from you soon.

Sincerely

Rev Philip McCavity

"Nuts Damage Gums" - Bareit V33:14

And a slap from Father Grinn to emphasise how much nicer Rev McCavity is

Date: Mon, 20 Dec 2004 08:16:06 -0800 (PST)
From: "Julius Grinn" <Father Julius Grinn> Add to Address Book

Subject: Re: I AM A FULL MENBER AS FROM TODAY
To: "HENRY ONUORA" <[email protected]>

Brother Henry,

I have just finished speaking with Rev McCavity about your membership application to join our church. He has already shown me the photograph you sent which, while undoubtedly showing keenness to join our order, is insufficently clear for me to be sure that you have indeed been baptised into our fatih.

Philip now tells me that he has not heard from you now for 3 days and he is concerned about your welfare. Am I correct that you still with to join the Church of Evangelical Medical Predilections and Ischemic Love of the Dark One? I understand you have a seminar planned and we are hoping to spread the word our of dark lord at this. This being the case I must reiterate that you must ensure that you are a full member of our church before we will make available any of our church's funds.

I should also point out that it is not acceptable to cease contacting with your spiritual advisors (Philip) without giving him details of what you are doing with regards to your flock.

We are a strict order Brother Henry and I must insist that if our union is to continue in this trinity then you need adhere to our laws and those prescribed in the Book.

I hope to hear from you soon

Sincerely,

Father Julius Grinn.
Elder of the Church of Evangelical Medical Predilections and Ischemic Love of the Dark One.

I�m so sorry the seminar has to be delayed�.

Date: Tue, 21 Dec 2004 14:29:22 +0000 (GMT)
From: "Phil McCavity"
Subject: Re: I HAVE TAKEN ANOTHER PICTURE.
To: "HENRY ONUORA" <[email protected]>

Brother Henry,

I am pleased that you have contacted me and I trust in the name of the dark one that you are fit and well. The dark lord is watching over us and looks forward to welcoming you to his flock.

I understand you have had the photo taken again, I how it is clear as Father Grinn was most upset when I spoke with him. He was very excited about our mission in Nigeria and spreading the word of the dark lord like marmite upon toast. He has explained that he wishes me to travel to Nigeria one day to help you build the church but I do not think this will be for a few months yet. For now you must act as our emissary.

It is a shame you have been forced to delay the seminar but I understand and this is no bad reflection upon yourself. Could I ask what you intend to say about the dark lord at the seminar. In accordance with the terms of our church is will be important that you also speak of dental hygiene.

Brother, I look froward to hearing from you soon and must ask that you keep me updated as the secretary to Father Grinn while we make better plans for the future. This is a most exciting opportunity for our church.

Kind regards

Rev Philip McCavity

Brother Henry appears repentant to Father Grinn

Date: Tue, 21 Dec 2004 00:18:09 -0800 (PST)
From: "HENRY ONUORA" <[email protected]>
Subject: TAKEN ANOTHER PICTURE.
To: "Julius Grinn" <Father Julius Grinn>

DEAR FATHER GRINN,

COMPLIMENTS OF THE SEASON TO YOU, HOW IS YOUR PRESENT CONDITION OF HEALTH WHICH IS THE MOST FOUNDAMENTAL AMUNITY IN HUMAN LIFE, I HOPE FINE, IF SO CLOXOLOGY.

MY AIM OF WRITING THIS MAIL TO YOU IS TO TELL YOU HOW I HAVE SUFFERED EMOTIONALLY BECAUSE OF YOUR WORD OR COMMENT ABOUT ME AND MY PICTURE. YOU CANNOT BAPTISE ME BECAUSE THE WRITING IS NOT CLEAR. TELL ME WHERE I HAVE GONE WRONG, I DON'T WANT FUND TO PREVENT ME FROM MAKING A NAME FOR MYSELF IN YOUR CHURCH HISTORY. I AM A MAN TO BE TRUSTED, I HAVE MADE UP MY MIND TO SPREAD THE WORD OF THE DARK LORD HERE IN NIGERIA, I WANT MY FIRST OUTING TO HAVE IMPACT ON PEOPLE, I WANT IT TO BE WELL ORGANISED. I TOLD DR. PHIL THAT TO THE BEST OF MY KNOWLEDGE AS A PREACHER OF THE WORD IN OTHER TO BEAT THEM IN CHARITY DEEDS, A TRIP TO THE ORPHANAGE, TO THE HOSPITAL, PRISONS, AND OTHER LESS PRIVELLEGE ONES IN THE SOCIETY.

I WANT YOU TO KNOW SOMETHING HERE IN AFRICA WE BELIEVE IN WHAT YOUR CHURCH OFFER TO THE SOCIETY. SO FATHER GRINN I HAV ETAKEN ANOTHER PICTURE WHICH BY HIS GRACE WILL COME OUT ON WEDNESDAY, THEN I WILL SEND IT. I HOPE THIS TIME AROUND I WILL NOT BE IN A NIGHT CLUB FOR YOU SAID DISCO HALL BEFORE.

NB: IF YOU REALLY WANT ME TO PARTICIPATE FULLY INTO THE CHURCH OF THE DARK LORD, DO WHAT I SAY I CANNOT FAIL YOU FOR I DON'\T LIKE MYSELF DISAPOINTING PEOPLE RELEASE FUNDS TO ME FOR A BETTER RESULT.
I WILL TAKE THE MESSAGE FAR.

THANKS.
FROM EVANGELIST HENRY ONUORA.

And now a request for information about the Dark One and a second attempt at the baptism photo!

Date: Wed, 22 Dec 2004 05:51:02 -0800 (PST)
From: "HENRY ONUORA" <[email protected]> Add to Address Book

Subject: THANKS AND REMAIN BLESS
To: "Phil McCavity" < >

DEAR DADDY

THANK YOU FOR YOUR MAIL I HOPE YOU ARE SOUND &HEALTHY .I SEND A MAIL TO FATHER GRINN TELLING HIM MY MIND AND OPINION I TOLD HIM TO ASSIT ME IF HE WANT A BETTER AND FASTER RESULT

MY SEMMIER MASSAGE SAYS( ARISE NIGERIA AND WELCOME THE LORD OF THE DARK ONE )SPRERADING THE MASSAGE OF LIVEING WELL AND GOOD ORAL HYGIENE AND THE IMPORTANCE OF BALANCE IN LIFE .WITH THIS I WILL MAKE MY SPEECH .

SECONDLY THE SEMINER IS FAST APPROCHING I WOULDN'TLIKE TO ALTER MY PLANS PLEASE RELEASE FUNDS TO ME TO HELP ME PREPER WELL .

NB

IT IS YOUR DUTY TO SUPPLY ME WITH EVERY IMFORMATION ABOUT THE DARK LORD PLEASE I NEED IT BEFORE HAND SO AS NOT TO FOOL MY SELF.

PLAESE SEND THE BOOK THAT CONTIAN ALL THE WORD ABOUT THE DARK LORD

THANKS AND REMIAN BLESS.

EVANGELIST HENRY ONUORA

What a shame the photo isn�t good enough�..

Date: Wed, 22 Dec 2004 15:42:35 +0000 (GMT)
From: "Phil McCavity"
Subject: Re: Here is the new picture
To: "HENRY ONUORA" <[email protected]>

Brother Henry,

Thank you for your resubmission of the photograph. I showed it to Father Grinn and he told me that it is almost perfect. The only problem is that the edge of the sign cannot be seen so my name cannot be read and some of the church name cannot be read. While I do not doubt you are sincere we have to ensure that the administration is completed correctly. I must ask you to send the full size photo with the sign fully visible to complete the baptism.

It may be worth sending several different photos as we are wasting time and I am keen to have most of this seminar arranged prior to the holidays. We must however have at least one correct photo of your baptism to show your entrance into the church.

You should also note that as a branch of our church you will, from time to time, be asked to provide photos of your work, disciples or buildings to show the elders that you are truly passing on the word of the dark lord.

I would like to say however that Father Grinn is pleased with how keen you are to join us and has every faith that you will prove to be a worthy emissary for us when this is all complete. He was especially pleased with the cross fashioned from 6 toothbrushes as it shows him how seriously you take oral hygiene and the message which you must pass.

On the subject of the dark one I apologise for not sending you further information yet. I was unaware that you did not have our literature and I will work to remedy this as soon as possible.

Brother Henry, I must remind you of the importance of frequent communication between us and you. If there is anything else I can do please just ask and I await the full photo urgently.

In supplicance to the Dark One
Rev Dr Philip McCavity

"Dentures can be a mouth's best friend" - Dame Nigel Havers

And a nudge to warn him that it�s Christmas and time is marching on� Note I�m starting to run out of Dental �quotes� for my emails signatures too�

Date: Thu, 23 Dec 2004 17:19:38 +0000 (GMT)
From: "Phil McCavity"
Subject: Re: THANKS AND REMAIN BLESS
To: "HENRY ONUORA" <[email protected]>

Brother Henry,

I still have not heard from you and I am going on a holy pilgrimmage tomorrow for 3 days. I need to know what you are doing, please contact me immediately.

In love and mud
Rev Dr Philip McCavity

"Coffee staineth the teeth" Gospel of Nestle 23:4

The picture is coming, can I have $3000 please�..

Date: Fri, 24 Dec 2004 09:19:45 -0800 (PST)
From: "HENRY ONUORA" <[email protected]> Add to Address Book
Subject: THANKS AND REMAIN BLESS/taken another picture
To: "Phil McCavity" < >

DEAR DADDY

HAPPY XMAS AND NEW YEAR IN ADVANCE .

DADDY I AM SORRY FOR NOT HAVE WRITTEN TO YOU IT IS DEU TO SOME CIRCUMSTANCES BEYOND MY CONTROL THE PRISON FEAST IS FAST APPROCHING I AM BUSEY TIYDING UP THINGS I HAVE TAKEN ANOTHER PICTURE WHICH WILL COME OUT ON MONDAY EVENING BECAUSE SATURDAY AND SUNDAY IS PUBLIC HOLIDAYS FOR CHRISTIANS SO EXPECT THE PICTURE ON TEUSDAY MORNING

PLEASE I NEED THREE THOUSANDS DOLLERS TO BUY THINGS FOR THE PRISONER AND SOME THINGS FOR THE SEMINER DADDY I WANT YOU TO TRY AND SEND THE MONEY TO ME BEFORE TEUSDAY EVENING I AM ON FASTING AND PRAYING TO INTERCED FOR THE PRISONERS AND FOR A SUCCEFULL SEMINER

THANKS AND REMAIN BLESS

EVANGELIST HENRY ONUORA

And an email to Father Grinn explaining about the seminar

Date: Fri, 24 Dec 2004 09:32:41 -0800 (PST)
From: HENRY ONUORA
Subject: THANKS FOR YOUR UNDERSTANDING /I HAVE TAKEN ANOTHER PICTURE AGIAN
To: Julius Grinn

DEAR DADDY

HAPPY XMAS AND NEW YEAR IN ADVANCE .

DADDY I AM SORRY FOR NOT HAVE WRITTEN IT IS DEU TO SOME CIRCUMSTANCES BEYOND MY CONTROL THE PRISON FEAST IS FAST APPROCHING I AM BUSEY TIYDING UP THINGS I HAVE TAKEN ANOTHER PICTURE WHICH WILL COME OUT ON MONDAY EVENING BECAUSE SATURDAY AND SUNDAY IS PUBLIC HOLIDAYS FOR CHRISTIANS SO EXPECT THE PICTURE ON TEUSDAY MORNING

THERE IS NO TIME TO SEND bibles, blankets, toothpaste, floss, mops etc.) via DHL or FedEx

IT TAKES D H L OR FEDEX ,ONE WEEK TO REACH HERE IN NIGERIA SO PLEASE SEND MONEY TO ME SO THAT I CAN BUY THOSE THINGS HERE IN NIGERIA

THANKS AND REMAIN BLESS

EVANGELIST HENRY ONUORA

And finally an acceptable baptism picture arrives

Date: Mon, 27 Dec 2004 09:25:47 -0800 (PST)
From: "HENRY ONUORA" <[email protected]> Add to Address Book

Subject: new picture with full / I HAVE DONE MY DUTY IT IS NOW LEFT FOR YOU
To:

DEAR DADDY

CONPLMENT OF THE SEASON HOW IS YOUR HEALTH TODAY,I HOPE FINE THIS IS TO TELL YOU THAT I SENT ANOTHER PICTURE I AM NOW WAITING FOR MY BAPTISM I DONT HAVE ANY OTHER THING TO TELL YOU NOW RATHER THAN THAT I AM TRAVELLING TO ENUGU FOR THE PRISON FEAST AND ALSO GETING READY FOR THE SEMINER I HAVE DONE MY DUTY IT IS NOW LEFT FOR YOU

THANKS AND REMAIN BLESS

EVANGELIST HENRY ONUORA

It�s time to let Brother Henry know what sort of church he has just joined.

Date: Tue, 28 Dec 2004 18:04:11 +0000 (GMT)
From: "Phil McCavity"
Subject: Re: THANKS AND REMAIN BLESS/taken another picture
To: "HENRY ONUORA" <[email protected]>

Brother Henry,

Welcome to the Church of Evangelical Medical Predilections and Ischemic Love of the Dark One. I today showed your picture to Father Grinn and he was pleased that you are now a first level acolyte and our emissary for Nigeria. You can obtain further levels and wealth through doing the bidding of the church and spreading our word. You will then also be entered further into our Love and further prepared for the Finality.

I firstly apologise for not having told you much of our ways until now, however I had to be sure that you were true in your desire to join and were willing renounce your Christian faith. I will now outline our beliefs as it is important you realise your destiny with our church.

You have renounced Christianity and God through your baptism ceremony which makes you more powerful than those fools who still believe. We do not believe that man is not the oldest or last master of Planet Earth. We know God is an arrogant and foolish master who punished Adam and Eve in the old testament and allows the weak church to thrive, crushing the worthy and naming other faiths as those of the Devil.

We await the return of the "Old Ones" through worship of the Dark One whose name is Choronzon. It was he who oversaw Adam's fall from the garden of Eden and who will rise again to crush God in heaven and bring in the final epoch with columns of heavenly fire rained down upon mortal fools who do not follow us.

The dead will walk the earth as our slaves and crush the living except for we faithful who shall interrogate the chrisitan ministers and make them reveal the Truths. Those of our church will act as judges on the unworthy. We shall slay the unpure, make wives of the virgins and breed a new, pure race under the eye of our masters. We will inherit the enslaved masses and have Power under the Old Ones as the unholy gate of Yog-Soggoth is opened. The Earth will break and our new kingdom will be formed on the blood and ashes of the infidels. A peace will reign in which only the truly righteous will thrive.

Please do not be scared of the pains I describe above, it will not be yours. You are now one of the pure having turned your back on the weak churches and sworn fealy to Choronzon. This is the message you will carry across Africa and this is what our church will help you with. The cleansing of teeth is the cleanising of Earth, the church is our tartar, we the drill of veracity.

It will also be necessary for you to obtain a copy of a book called "The history of the Necronomicon" by H.P. Lovecraft. In there you will find outlined the basis of our faith and your new way of life.

Welcome brother. You must contact me immediately so we can truly plan your seminar to protect you and pass word to your country.

In the true faith,
Rev Philip McCavity
"In darkness and blood will we purge the gums of the earth" - Book of Choronzon 2:2

To be continued�..

Posted: Wed May 18, 2005 6:18 pm

Hey Phil:
I though that you knew that I had copywrited the term "Magnum Opus" Laughing

That is my character's rank (equal to Archbishop in the Anglican faith) in the Assembly of Opus (USA)

I want a cut of the money that your lad is sending you....

OpusDaPenguin, aka
Vier Negentien (means 419 in Dutch)
Magnum Opus
Assembly of Opus

Not quite a Newb Joined: 13 Sep 2004 Posts: 69

Of course I'll send you money, all you need to do is send me a picture of you joining my church Very Happy

Not quite a Newb Joined: 13 Sep 2004 Posts: 69

To recap

The cast is as follows:

Dr Philip McCavity - A reverend in the C.O.E.M.P.A.I.L.O.F.D.O
Father Julius Grinn � Elder of the C.O.E.M.P.A.I.L.O.F.D.O
Tunde Okon � Introduced later on, played by myself portraying another mugu who is successfully conning the Church

Our mugu is

Henry Onoura � 2nd Degree acolyte in the C.O.E.M.P.A.I.L.O.F.D.O

Part 2 � A Church Unlike Any Other

It seems Brother Henry takes the news of his leaving the Christian way of life quite well but he starts getting a little demanding as he thinks he�s now due some cash

Date: Tue, 28 Dec 2004 12:37:56 -0800 (PST)
From: "HENRY ONUORA" <[email protected]>
Subject: YOUR WASTING TIME
To: "Phil McCavity"

Dear Daddy

thanks for your mail ,you have told me what i want to know about your church .i am with you ,my problem is how to get the book"the history of the necronomicon by H P LOVECRAFT.

NOW THAT I AM BAPTISED INTO THE FOLD WHAT NEXT ? THE SEMINER I AM WAITING FOR YOUR REPLY CONCERNING THE SEMINER .

TELL FATHER GRINN THAT I AM WAITNG FOR THE THREE THOUSAND DOLLER FOR THE SEMINER ,THAT YOU PROPLE ARE WASTING TIME BEFORE I DECID TO SEND MY PICTURE I KNOW WHAT IS INVOLVE..

THANKS

HENRY ONUORA

Rev McCAvity is not qualified to deal with this sort of dissent so he sends an email to Father Grinn and copies Brother Henry in on it

Date: Tue, 28 Dec 2004 20:41:13 +0000 (GMT)
From: "Phil McCavity"
Subject: Fwd: YOUR WASTING TIME
To: Father Julius Grinn
CC: [email protected]

Father Julius,

I feel you should see the email below from Brother Henry. He believes that time is being wasted. I apologise for having to bring this to your attention.

Humble apologies

Rev McCavity

SLAP!

Date: Tue, 28 Dec 2004 14:59:07 -0800 (PST)
From: Julius Grinn
Subject: Re: Fwd: YOUR WASTING TIME
To: [email protected]

Brother Henry,

How dare you write a letter in that tone to either myself of Reverend McCavity!!!!? You are only a first acolyte and one of our emissarys, you will accept our judgement or be cast from the church and hunted down. Reverend McCavity is to be your teacher and you will listen to and obey him. You must know your place!

You have been instructed to locate a book and read it. I do not need a photograph of you reading it, this is just for your reference of our faith. If the book is not available then Rev McCavity will have it sent you.

Do not question the wisdom of our church and do not trouble me with such inconsequential matters. Apologise to Rev McCavity now and deal only with him. He will be punished for not instructing you clearly and help with your seminar.

Leave me.

In the Dark One's name,

Father Julius Grinn
Elder of the Church of Evangelical Medical Predilections and Ischemic Love of the Dark One,

And a penitent email returns

Date: Wed, 29 Dec 2004 02:09:29 -0800 (PST)
From: "HENRY ONUORA" <[email protected]>
Subject: IN DARKNESS AND BLOOD WILL WE PURGE THE GUMS OF THE EARTH
To: "Phil McCavity"

DEAR DADDY

I AM SORRY FOR THE MAIL I SEND YESTERDAY .IWANT TO USE THIS OPPOUTUNITY ONCE AGAIN TO THANK YOU FOR YOUR LAST MAIL .IHAVE NOTED EVERYTHING YOU SAID WELL IN MY MEMORY ,WHAT I WANT YOU TO KNOW IS THAT I AM WITH YOU ,THERE ARE SOME MEN HERE IN NIGERIA WHO NEED THIS KIND OF CHURCH AND I AM VERY VERY HAPPY THAT THE CHURCH COMEING TO AFRICA THROUGH ME

PLEASE I WANT TO KNOW EVERYTHING ABOUT THE CHURCH HOW CHORONZON SHOULD BE WORSHIPED MY DO'S AND DON'TTHERULES AND REGULATIONS .

DADDY DON'T HIDE ANY THING FROM ME I AM WITH YOU I HAVE TASTED CHRISTAN LIFE NOW LET ME TASTE THE LIFE I AM GOING TO LIVE IN YOUR CHURCH AND COMPARE IT WITH THE ONE I LIVE IN CHRISTAN LIFE YOU TALK ABOUT .

FINALY I NNED AN OFFICE HERE IN NIGERIA AS AFRICAN HEADQUATER OF THE CHURCH OF EVANGELICAL MEDICAL PREDILICTIONS AND ISCHEMIC LOVE OF THE DARK ONE

2ND JANUARY IS VERY VERY NEAR THE SEMINER IS AT HAND IF THIS SEMINER DIDN'T HOLD THEREIS NO OTHER MEANS OF ORGANISING PEOPLE AGAIN AND COUNT ME OUT

IN TRUE FAIT

EVANGELIST HENRY ONUORA

IN DARKNESS AND BLOOD WILL WE PURGE THE GUMS OF THE EARTH

Now for the hook for further trophies while developing the Church�s idea

Date: Thu, 30 Dec 2004 19:13:45 +0000 (GMT)
From: "Phil McCavity"
Subject: Re: IN DARKNESS AND BLOOD WILL WE PURGE THE GUMS OF THE EARTH
To: "HENRY ONUORA" <[email protected]>

Brother Henry,

Your apology is understood, however it is not you that shall be punished in the name of the Dark One but I. I have just finished performing my penance for permitting you to ask such questions of Father Grinn and we shall now move on.

I understand your need to learn more secrets of our church however you are only a first level acolyte and as such cannot be told more at this time. You must understand your present limitations but you will hopefully in time learn more. Our church has many enemies however so we need to keep our movements and our plans secret. While we are a rich church we are careful not to announce our presence too loudly or others would seek to take from us our money and property to prevent us fulfilling our mission.

I need further details from you now:

1) Where do you envisage building an office for our church? Have you an address?
2) Can you send me any pictures of the location?
3) Have you converted any more people to our church yet? We have a $1000 bounty for each person who is baptised which is paid to those who find their new recruits. I was paid $1000 for finding you. I chose to donate it to our church however ultimately the acolyte can choose their own way of spending the bounty.
Our movement must be strong to crush the Christian scum who rule us but you must choose wisely. Ours is a secret movement and our existence in Africa is a closely guarded secret. We are proud you have joined us.

Brother, I understand how important your seminar is to you but I want you to think bigger. A seminar may be too much publicity for us at this tender time. I need you to find recruits for our church to be baptised. I also need you to identify to us a suitable premises as an office. The budget from church funds can be negotiated and we need your expertise to idenitfy recruits and an office. How much will an office cost to rent for 4 years until Choronzon walks the earth again?

Please be discrete Henry however I am very excited at what will come to pass. Please contact me immediately. You may telephone me if you wish on 004477NNNNNNNN and if I am not praying or too busy I will speak to you in person.

Be strong Brother.

Rev Philip McCavity

Then another prod as its almost time for the �seminar�

Date: Sun, 2 Jan 2005 15:09:48 +0000 (GMT)
From: "Phil McCavity"
Subject: Happy New Year
To: [email protected]

Brother Henry,

Greetings and Happy New Year to you as we move ever closer to the release of the Dark One. I trust you were able to endure the festive season. I have still not heard from you either on the telephone or via email regarding our church's plan in Nigeria.

Please contact me as soon as you receive this as I believe we need to strike while the iron is hot and save others of your country.

In blood

Rev Dr Philip McCavity

The demand for money and his first direct attempt at a classic 419 advance fee fraud as well as a plea for the church to �change his life and others will follow�

Date: Sun, 2 Jan 2005 07:17:29 -0800 (PST)
From: "HENRY ONUORA" <[email protected]>
Subject: were the office will be/ i need your trust
To: "Phil McCavity"

DEAR DADDY

THIS IS THE VOICE OF HENRY SAYING A BIG HAPPY NEW YEAR TO YOU AND EVERY MENBER OF THE CHURCH

I WANT YOU NTO KNOW ONE THING I AM A MAN TO BE TRUSTED .MY DEALING WITH YOU IS TELLING ME ONE THING THAT YOU DON'T TRUST ME WELL I WANT TO MAKE A PROPOSAL SPORNSOR MY TRIP TO YOUR COUNTRY AND I WILL COME &WE WILL SEE FACE TO FACE TO TELL YOU HOW I HAVE TAKEN IT AS A DUTY NOT TO FAIL YOU IF I CAN'T SUCCED IN THIS KIND OF ASSIGNMENT THEN I AM NOT WHAT I CLAIM TO BE .

I TOLD YOU BEFORE THAT I HAVE OVER ONE HUNDRED POEPLE WORKING WITH ME BEFORE AMONG THEM I HAVE FIVE OF THEIR PICTURE WITH ME .I BORROWED MONEY WITH MY LAND AS A COLLATARAL AND BUY THINGS FOR THE PRISONERS ON THE DAY OF FEAST ,I TOLD THEM THAT THE MONEY WHICH I USED FOR THE FEAST CAME FROM YOU,I PREACHED TO THEM THE WORD OF THE DARK ONE, THAT THE CHRISTIANS ARE DECIVING US ,THAT IF THEY BELIEVE IN THE LORD OF DARK ONE THAT THEIR LIFE WILL CHANGE FIVE HAVE ACCEPTED AND THEIRPICTURE IS WITH ME BUT ,I CAN'T SEND IT TO YOU UNLESS I AM SURE YOU ARE NOT MAKING FUN OF ME

COMEING TO YOUR QUESTIONS:

DO YOU WANT TO BUILD OR RENT AN OFFICE ?THE SUITABLE PLACES FOR IT ARE:

1) VICTORIA ISLAND OF LAGOS WILL COST US THE SUM OF #1.8 MILLION NAIRA

TO # 2 MILLION NAIRA WHICH IS ALMOST $15,000 DOLLERS PER YEAR

.

2) IN IKEJA LAGOS #1 MILLION NAIRA TO # 1.2 MILLION NAIRA WHICH IS ALMOST $10,000 DOLLERS PER YEAR

3) IN SATTERLITE TOWN LAGOS #800 THOUSANDS NAIRA TO #900 THOUSANDS NAIRAWHICH IS ALMOST 6500 DOLLERS PER YEAR

I CAN;T SEND ANY PICTURE NOW BECAUSE ,I AM NOT SURE ABOUT YOU NOT DISSAPOINTING ME . SECONDLY THE COMPUTER I AM USEING IS NOT MINE , THE TIME HAS EXPIRED ON 31 DECEMBER 2004 REPLYING MAIL NOW WILL BE A LITTLE HARD FOR ME .

I NEED YOUR HELP I WOULD NOT LIKE FUND TO PREVENT ME FROM MAKING A NAME FOR MYSELF IN THIS CHURCH .I NEED YOUR TRUST REALSE FUND TO ME EVERY EXPENCES WILL BE RECORDED AND ACCUNTED FOR

I HAVE TOLD SOME AGENTS TO START LOOKING FOR HOUSE FOR ME ,FROM THE THREE PLACES HERE IN LAGOS .CHOOSE THE PLACE YOU WILL LIKE THE OFFICE TO BE, FROM THE SKATCH I GAVE TO YOU .

NB

CHANGE MY LIFE FIRST AND OTHERS WILL FOLLOW, I CANNOT BE WHAT I AM WHEN I WAS A CHRITAIN AND TELL THEM ABOUT ANOTHER GOD WHO WILL MAKE THEM RICH WHILE I MYSELF IS NOT RICH .I NEED AN OFFICE FAST FAST SO THAT WE WILL START HAVEING MEETING

THANKS

HENRY ONUORA

An offer to Brother Henry to come to visit our head office and the introduction of Tunde Okon who will play a part later on in the bait

Date: Sun, 2 Jan 2005 15:42:03 +0000 (GMT)
From: "Phil McCavity"
Subject: Re: were the office will be/ i need your trust
To: "HENRY ONUORA" <[email protected]>
CC: Tunde Okon

Brother Henry,

I am pleased that you have returned my email so fast. I can see that you are as excited about spreading the word as myself and possibly Father Grinn and the other elders.

I think that perhaps a pilgrimmage to our holy temple in Tooting, London would be a good thing for you. It would enable us to further show you how our church works and allow you to help in one of our ritual sacrifices, thus further preparing the way for your unholy salvation. I trust you like a brother Henry, as I do every first acolyte. The decision you have made sets you apart from other foolish mortals and our church pledges to help any acolyte in need.

Am I correct in understanding that you have recruited 5 more people to our church? Have they been baptised in the appropriate way, standing under the banner with the cross of toothbrushes symbolising their baptism? If this is the case I urgently need to know as I will have to prepare their membership at this end including joining packs and your bounty payment of $5000. If this is true then I await the baptism photos for our book of joinees. Also if this is the case we will have to look at raising you to 2nd Level Acolyte and I will explain more about this in the near future.

I am glad you are looking for our office space and that you are continuing on your unholy quest to convert people in the way of Choronzon. I will be asking one of our brother from the Togolese republic, 4th Level Acolyte Brother Tunde Okon (Tunde Okon) , to contact you and explain the effect the church has had on his village. Hopefully he will help you understand the power of our Church and how seriously we take this.

On a final note I must ask you to please take seriously what we do and understand your place within our church. We are seeking to help you and you continually speak of jokes and "making fun" of you. Brother, we are deadly serious in these matters. As you progress through the ranks of our church you will realise exactly what we are doing to resurrect the Dark One. For now you must just be patient and allow the elders to forge our way.

The Dark One walk amongst us

Rev. Dr Philip McCavity
"Wisdom teeth from wise men, molars from fools" - Shalzbut III

Brother Henry is really quite keen on this church

Date: Mon, 3 Jan 2005 05:02:49 -0800 (PST)
From: "HENRY ONUORA" <[email protected]>

Subject: THANKS I HAVE FOUND THE HOUSE
To: "Phil McCavity"

DEAR DADDY

I HAVE RECRUIETED SOME MEMBERS PLEASE DON'T MAKE ME LOOK STUPID IN THERE PRESENCE , I NEED TO LEARN AND ALSO TEACH MY DISCIPLES WHO AND HOW TO WORSHIP CHORONZON, SEND THE BOOK THE HISTORY OF THE NECRONOMICON BY H.P LOVE CRAFT .

I WANT TO START READING IT SO AS TO KNOW WHAT TO TELL MY NEW DISCIPLES FOR THEM TO KNOW HOW TO LIVE THEIR NEW LIFE

THE AGENT HAVE FOUND THE HOUSE IN SOME PLACES SUITUBLE FOR THE OFFICE BUT HE CANNOT SHOW ME THE HOUSE WITHOUT PAYING THE AGENTS CONSULTATION FEE WHICH IS SUPPOSED TO BE PAID YOU MAY CONTACT THE AGENT BY YOUR SELF IF YOU LIKE I WILL GIVE YOU HIS E -MAIL ADDRRES OR PHONE NUMBER TO CONTACT HIM .

THANKS

EVANGELIST HENRY ONUORA

IN DARKNESS AND BLOOD WILL WE PURGE THE GUMS OF THE EARTH

Of course, now there are followers, we have to promote Brother Henry. By this time I�ve done a little research into the Necronomicon and am able to name drop a few real dark lords into the emails and quote some unholy scripture verses.

Date: Mon, 3 Jan 2005 15:31:05 +0000 (GMT)
From: "Phil McCavity"
Subject: Re: THANKS I HAVE FOUND THE HOUSE
To: "HENRY ONUORA" <[email protected]>

Brother Henry,

I have already explained to you the strictures of our religion and our plans. If you have recruited and baptised further members of the church Father Grinn and the Elders will need to see their baptism pictures. We will obviously need to raise you to second level acolyte if you are to become their teacher and I will prepare the necessary paperwork and bounty payment.

Please respect the ways of our church brother and the paths which we must go down. Do not anger Choronzon or Marduk or you will find yourself expelled from our church and made one of the walking dead upon the Day of Judgement!

Nobody is seeking to make you look stupid. You must understand that you are one of many of our flock and that our rules remain the same for *all* members across our 15 countries in which we worship the Dark One.

If you give me a mailing address I shall arrange for a copy of the text by H.P. Lovecraft to be sent to you immediately. I will also arrange for some of our spells to be sent to you to perform to help show the power we hold when we raise you to second degree acolyte.

Brother Henry, I am suspicious of a man who demands payment to merely show a house, this is not the proper way to do business in England. I would recommend that you visit the property and show us the area. Beware Brother, for there are people who would try to steal your money in the name of our faith. I shall leave you to deal with this man for now, he just needs to know that our church has substantial wealth for our properties and substantial wrath if we are toyed with.

In blood and toothpicks,

Rev. Dr Philip McCavity

"Stoop not down, therefore,
Unto the Darkly-Splendid World,

Wherin continually lieth

A faithless Depth

And Hades wrapped in clouds,

Delighting in unintelligible Images,

Precipitous, winding,

A black, ever-rolling Abyss

Ever espousing a Body

Unluminous

Formless

And Void.

The Chaldean Oracles of Zoroaster"

Hoorah, Brother Henry has got some more disciples to join our church. He then asks for a care package to be sent to him so lots more pictures can be sent.

Date: Fri, 7 Jan 2005 00:17:06 -0800 (PST)
From: "HENRY ONUORA" <[email protected]>
Subject: THE PICTURES ARE COMMING BEHIND THIS MAIL FUFILYOUR PROMISE
To: "Phil McCavity"

DEAR DADDY
COMPLIMENT OF THE DAY,TO YOU I HOPE YOU HAVE HEALTH IS OKEY .SORRY FOR NOT WRITIEN TO YOU I TRAVELLED TO PORT HARCOURT TO SEE SOME OF MY FRIENDS WHOM I WANTED THEM TO JOIN OUR CHURCH .

.I HAVE REASON WITH THEM AND FINALY I WON PLEASE BEAR WITH ME FOR NOT HAVE WRITEN TO YOU ,I CAME BARK TO LAGOS ONLY YESTERDAY TO SEE YOUR MAIL ,DADDY I NEED ENCOURAGEMENT FROM YOU AND NOT TREATINING ,I NEED YOUR SUPPORT TO TAKE THE CHURCH FAR.

SECONDLY I NEED A PHOTO CAMERA IF I WANT THEN TO TAKE PICTURE IN PHOTO STUDIO THEY WILL BE FILLING SOME HOW I NEED CAMERA FOR URGENT TAKEING AND SENDING OF THE PICTURE .THE PHONE I AM USEING BEFORE DEVELOPED A FAULT THAT I CAN RECIVE CALL ,I NEED HAND SET FROM YOU, LET IT BE A TOKEN OF YOUR LOVE TO YOUR BELOVED SON HERE IN AFRICA INEED A CELL PHONE FOR EASY COMMUNICATION WITH YOU I AM RECURITING MEMBERS FAST FAST ,OUR NUMBERS ARE INCREASING DAILY ,SEND THE THING I NEED WITH THIS ADDRESS :

EVANGELIST HENRY ONUORA %SCHOOLFEES

NO:3 ESIETEDO STREET, OFF ALAKIJA BUS STOP,

OPP-C B N ESTATE GATE 2

NAVE TOWNROAD STATTELITETOWN LAGOS

NIGERIA WEST AFRICA

N/B

THE PICTURES ARE COMMING BEHIND THIS MAIL FUFILYOUR PROMISE BY SENDING THE MONEY YOU PROMISE IN EACH PICTURE SO THA IT WILL BE BETTER THE LIFE OF EVERY MENBERS OF THIS OUR CHURCH TO THE ENVY OF OTHERS .

I AM WITH YOU DON'T HAVE DOUBLE MIND TRUST AND COURAGE IS ALL I NEED FROM YOU .SEND MY SINCIELLY GREETING TO FATHER GRINN AND OTHER ELDERS OF THE CHURCH .HOPING THAT TEY ARE ALL OKAY AND SOUND AND HEALTHY IN THIS NEW YEAR

THANKS

EVANGELIST HENRY ONUORA

So a well done email comes winging its way back. Now I wonder if he would like the money himself or to donate it to our church. I offer the choice�.

Date: Sat, 8 Jan 2005 19:19:43 +0000 (GMT)
From: "Phil McCavity"
Subject: Re: THE PICTURES ARE COMMING BEHIND THIS MAIL FUFILYOUR PROMISE
To: "HENRY ONUORA" <[email protected]>

Brother Henry,

I am glad you are well. Firstly Father Grinn has asked me to congratulate you on bringing more converts to our cause. We are now well on our way to our 10,000th disciple of Choronzon and ready for the coming of Darkness!

I see you have recruited 7 more disciples to our church also. I will need their names for the registration form. Are there any more coming as I will need to arrange for your bounty. Would you like to receive the money or shall I donate it to the church?

I am also arranging for you to be raised to second level acolyte however there are certain spells which I need to arrange for this from the dark book. As you are to be raised I am sending attached to this email a copy of our "bible" (hock, spit). It is the Necronomicon of which I have spoken. You will need to read this and learn it for your raising to second level as some of the prayers and spells will be used as I perform the ceremony at this end. We will also need to arrange for a photograph to be taken of you at your end being raised. I will describe the full ceremony when you let me have the names of your flock and any remaining photographs.

Brother Henry, you have pleased the elders and you have pleased me. I am arranging for a camera and phone to send to you so we can speak in person. Until they arrive we will have to continue as we are. How much does it cost you to have a photograph taken?

Is there any word on the office or the estate agent yet?

Please contact me immediately either via email or phone so I can begin the preparations.

Crush the foolish mortals,

Rev Philip McCavity

"In the sinews of the mortal shall we find the key to Choronzon" Marduk 4:4

I can almost see dollar signs in his thieving eyes

Date: Sun, 9 Jan 2005 08:17:11 -0800 (PST)
From: "HENRY ONUORA" <[email protected]>

Subject: FUL FIL YOUR OWN PROMISE BY SENDING THE SEVEN THOUSANDS DOLLERS
To: "Phil McCavity"

DEAR DADDY

I AM HAPPY BECAUSE I HAVE BROUGHT SMILES IN THE FACES OF THE ELDERS AND FATHER GRINN

THIS ARE THERE NAMES :

THE FIRST THREE PICTURES

1) SAMUEL OBONG

2) JAMES I ANYANSI

3)ISAAC ASOMUGHA

THEN THE LAST FOUR IS :

1) CHARLES IBEH

2) JOSEPH AMAKOM

3) DAVID JOHNSON

4)PETER UWAH

IT IS GOOD FOR ME TO DONATE THE MONEY TO THE CHIURCH,BUT I NEED THE MONEY HERE IN NIGERIA. I HAVE A REASON FOR THAT :I TOLD YOU IN THE BEGINING THAT I HAVE IOO PEOPLE WORKING WITH ME AS A CHRISTIAN EVANGELIST ,WHEN I RENOUNCE MY CHRISTIANTY I WAS SACKED FROM WERE I WAS WORKING TILL DATE.

SO THE PICTURE I SENT TO YOU WERE THE PEOPLE WORKING WITH ME THEN.BEFORE THEY AGREE (BECAUSE THEY SAW WHAT HAPPENED TO ME) TO WORK WITH ME AND SERVE CHORONZON,I PROMISE THEM A BETTER LIVING .I PROMISE THAT I WLLL FIX THEM UP WITH SOMETHING DOING FROM THE MONEY I WILL COLLECT FROM THE CHURCH .

WE AFRICANS BELI EVE ON WHAT THE CHURCH CAN OFFER TO HIS PEOPLE . PLEASE DADDY SEND THE MONEY TO ME ,IWANT TO FULL FIL MY PROMISE ,I WOULDN'T LIKE MY FLOCKS TO REGRET RENAOUNCING THEIR CHRISTIANITY .I NEED THE MONEY TO HELP MY FLOCKS TO STAND ON A FIRM FOOTING TO THE ENVEY OF OTHERS AND THEY WILL RUSH IN AND THE INCREASE WILL BE TOO MUCH .

THE PROBLEM IS NOT HOW MUCH IT TAKES TO TAKE PICTURES ,THE PROBLEM IS WHERE TO TAKE IT .IT IS EMBERACING WHEN PEOPLE SEE YOU HOLDING A CROSS UP SIDE DOWN .SO THEY DON'T LIKE TAKEING PICTURE IN PHOTO STUDIO I WILL NOT LIKE TO TAKE THESE PICTURES AGAIN IN A PHOTO STUDIO LET PLAN FOR THE OFFICE. THE AGENT HAVE SHOWN ME THREE BUILDINGS OF WHICH I KNOW IS OKAY.BUT WOULDN'T ALLOW ME TO TAKE PICURES OF THE BUILDINGS .

I MADE A PROMISE AND KEPT IT BY RECRUTING NEW MEMBERS TO OUR CHURCH,I WANT YOU TO FUL FIL YOUR OWN PROMISE BY SENDING THE SEVEN THOUSANDS DOLLERS TO ME FOR A PROMISE MADE IS A PROMISE KEPT ,NEVER PROMISE AND FAIL.

EVERY DAY WE ARE INCREASING BE FAST ABOUT THE OFFICE AND THE CAMERA WHEN AM I RECIEVING IT ? BE A MAN OF YOUR WORD

THANKS

EVANGELIST HENRY ONUORA

IN DARKNESS AND BLOOD WILL WE PURGE THE GUMS OF THE EARTH

Update on the office

Date: Mon, 10 Jan 2005 07:28:56 -0800 (PST)
From: "HENRY ONUORA" <[email protected]>
Subject: I have taking the picture of the house
To: "Phil McCavity"

DEAR DADDY

THIS IS TO INFORM YOU THAT I HAVE TAKING PICTURE OF THE BUILDING .I AM WAITING TO HEAR FROM YOU TO KNOW IF I WILL SEND IT .

THANKS

EVANGELIST HENRY ONUORA

IN DARKNESS AND BLOOD WILL WE PURGE THE GUMS OF THE EARTH

So I post a parcel to Brother Henry. Silly me only uses Royal Mail though, not DHL or FedEx. I hope it gets there��. Now to give details of the baptism ceremony.

Date: Tue, 11 Jan 2005 18:59:05 +0000 (GMT)
From: "Phil McCavity"
Subject: The cheque is in the post
To: [email protected]

Brother Henry,
Thank you for providing details of our newest First Degree Acolytes. Will you please ensure that they memorise the Necronomicon as you are doing.

Yesterday I sent the following items via Royal Mail to the address you gave.

1x Kodak CX7530 Digital Camera with memory card

1x Nokia 6310i mobile phone and charger (UK standard voltage)

1x Leather bound copy of H.P. Lovecraft�s a History of the Necronomicon (a personal gift from me)

1x Cheque made payable to Brother Henry Onoura for $7000. I have been told that with present delivery time you should have the parcel in the next 7 � 10 working days.

We are now in the position that you must be raised to second degree acolyte so as your followers know that you are a man of rank and position. Again Father Grinn will require photographic proof of the ceremony to ensure the elders are satisfied of your status. The ceremony takes the following form:

You must stand in front of a symbol of Marduk which is to be painted on a banner. The banner will read �Raised to second degree acolyte by Rev Philip McCavity�. You must be photographed with at least one of your first degree acolytes holding the toothbrush cross and you shall be seated on a chair while another acolyte holds two toothbrushes to your mouth (as if purging your gums). It is vital that this ceremony is performed before I can give you further information about the ways of our church and the ceremony must take place this month due to the approach of the Dark One�s resurrection. We will also need to identify how much money we shall need to pay your branch as part of a monthly stipend to pay expenses. Do you have any idea of running costs at this time?

Regarding the office which you have found, again I shall trust your judgement. Please send me any photographs you have of the office so far. Please ensure that either yourself or one of the acolytes is visible in any future photographs of these buildings, holding the inverted cross. Father Grinn will personally examine the vibrations emanating from the photograph to establish the location�s suitability for the worship of Choronzon.

Finally has Brother Tunde Okon been in touch with you yet? I asked him to contact you after we raised him to 4th degree acolyte however I have not heard from him yet.

I await your urgent reply

Rev Dr Philip McCavity

�The terrors of the night await the Christian scum, for Choronzon will rise � the depths he shall plumb!� � Ode to Choronzon � Father Julius Grinn

I like how he sounds so happy in this email after telling all his disciples that the cheque is in the post�

Date: Wed, 12 Jan 2005 04:58:29 -0800 (PST)
From: "HENRY ONUORA" <[email protected]>
Subject: THANKS FOR THE PARCLE YOU SENT TO ME
To: "Phil McCavity"

DEAREST DADDY

THANK YOU FOR REASONING WITH ME.AND FINALY GRANTING MY REQUEST BY PROVIDING TO THE NIGERIAN BRANCH OF THE CHURCH THE NECASSARY THINGS THAT WE NEEDED TO FORGE THE CHURCH FORWARD .

HOW IS YOUR PRESENT CONDITIONS OF YOUR HEALTH ,I HOPE FINE? MY HART IS FULL OF JOY WHEN I RECIEVED YOUR MAIL.THE CEREMONY WHICH IS TO BE PERFORM FOR ME ,BEEN RAISED TO SECOND DEGREE ACOLYTE ,WILL BE PERFECTLY DONE AND THE PHOTOGRAPH OF TH CEREMONY I WILL SEND TO YOU ,BUT PLEASE DADDY I WANT YOU TO GIVE ME A SMALL TIME ,SO THAT THE PARCLE YOU SENT TO ME WILL GET TO NIGERIA ,SO THAT I CAN USE THE CAMERA YOU SEND TO ME FOR THE OCCASSION AND A PICTURE OF MARDUK FOR THE BANNER.

DADDY ,YOU AND FATHER GRINN AND THE REST OF THE CHURCH ELDERS HAVE MADE ME A MAN OF MY WORD NOW MY FLOCK HERE IN NIGERIA WILL ALWAYS REMAIN ROYAL TO ANYTHING THAT YOU TELL US TO DO, REGARDING THE UPLIFTING OF THE CHURCH .THE PICTURES OF THE BUILDINGS WITH ME DOSN'T HAVE ANY BODY IN IT ,SO PLEASE I HAVE TO TAKE ANOTHER PICTURE WHERE BY ONE PERSON WILL APPEAR ON IT HOLDING THE INVERTED CROSS.

THE COST OF RUNING THING HERE IN NIGERIA IS SO HIGH THAT ONLY THE RICH PEOPLE CAN AFFORD IT

1) THE OFFICE NEED SECURITY MAN

2)CLEANER ,3)ELECTRICITY BILL ,4)WATER BILL , TRANSPORTATION ALLOWANCE BECAUSE THE CHURCH IS NOT ONLY FOR THE PEOPLE HERE IN LAGOS ,

I HAVE BEING TRAVELLING AROUND THE COUNTRY TRYING TO MAKE SURE THAT SIX GEO POLITICAL ZONES THAT MAKE UP NIGERIA WILL HAVE A FELL OF OUR CHURCH .

I HAVE NOT HEARD FROM BROTHER TUNDE OKON AND I WILL NOT CONTACT HIM ,UNLESS YOU TELL ME TO CONTACT HIM .I BELIVE IN WHAT YOU TOLD ME BEFORE ,THAT EVERY THING MUST BE KEPT SECRET. WHAT DO YOU THINK THAT IS GOOD FOR US AS OUR MONTHLY STIPEND EXPENCES ,USE YOUR SIDE TO COMPARE HERE IN NIGERIA .

N/B

DON'T BE ANNOYED I F MY OPINION CONCERNING THE RUNNING OF THE OFFICE IS NOT WHAT YOU EXPECT ,INSTEAD OF BEING ANNOYED ,FORGET MY OPINION AND GIVE ME A BETER OPTION FOR AWAY FORWARD.

THANKS ONCE AGAIN FOR FUL FILLING YOU PROMISE ,YOU ARE A MAN OF YOUR WORD

FROM EVANGELIST HENRY ONUORA

ODE TO CHORONOZON

A slight delay from me and then its time to introduce the next stage of the bait, the strange omens and portents which are occurring hint at a major change coming soon�..

Date: Fri, 14 Jan 2005 12:36:35 +0000 (GMT)
From: "Phil McCavity"
Subject: Re: THANKS FOR THE PARCLE YOU SENT TO ME
To: "HENRY ONUORA" <[email protected]>

Brother Henry,

I am sorry that I have delayed in replying to you however the stars have had some stunning portents which I must warn you urgently of and I have been busy preparing my flock. I am pleased that you are taking the business of furthering our church so seriously, it will prove vital to saving yourself and your flock.

As you must know by now, the day of Awakening approaches and we must be ready as we know not where Choronzon will arise and there must be sufficient disciples to greet him. Father Grinn tells me that He will rise this month somewhere on Earth but we cannot yet be sure where.

It is important that we get you raised to second degree acolyte at the earliest possible opportunity Brother so you can continue to lead your flock, this is not something that can wait I am afraid, we must have the photograph of your ceremony immediately if you have not yet done so. I have attached an image of the seal of marduk from the Necronomicon and must ask you to commence the ceremony. Choronzon could rise in Nigeria as easily as anywhere and you must be of sufficient seniority to fulfill your duties. Also how goes it with your flock? Have we any more members to add to our Book?

It is also vital that you locate a head office for our Nigerian church. As the dark day approaches we cannot allow you not to have proper accomodation. Have you the photograph of the building yet as this next stage is important also.

Regarding costs, I have spoken with Brother Okon and he believes that to set up a church in Nigeria will be much the same as in his country. The costs were as follows:

Rent of building $6000 every month
Bills $1000 every month including security and bribes.
He does not have a transport allowance as he does not need it but I suppose if we add another $300/month then that will cover it.
I propose that we make the monthly stipend $7300 every month

I will have to leave you to arrange the various bills and the like as I cannot do this from here so we will need to send the money direct to you. Are you able to telephone me yet. I will be available tonight at 6pm GMT if you need to further discuss this with several other members of my congregation and Father Grinn.

As I stated, Choronzon will rise soon so I must ask you to reply immediately to this email, become raised to the second level and provide me with the photo of the NIgerian Headquarters for Father Grinn.

The dark day approached and we must be ready immediately!

Rev Philip McCavity
"He comes....."

The emails continue as we make further preparation for the tricky business of running a church abroad

Date: Sat, 15 Jan 2005 01:20:26 -0800 (PST)
From: "HENRY ONUORA" <[email protected]>

Subject: The picture is coming.
To: "Phil McCavity"

Dear Daddy,

I have waited for the parcel to come, but I have not seen it
Sorry for not have send the picture of me being rise to scond degree acolyt The problem is the image of the seal of marduk Now that you have sent it I will proceed further.

The picture of the building, will the cross be held upside down in front of the building.

The ceremoney, will the two tootbrush touch my teeth It will take like two days for the banner to come out. Expect the picture on wednesday.

Daddy, brother Okon is not a Nigerian and is notstaying here in Nigeria so how comes that he knows what is happening here in Nigeria.

Thank you for the cost of things you listed, but daddy put smile on my face by making the money &8,000 every month. Daddy, please call me with this number 00935658357. This is my cousins number but throughout today I will have the phone with me

I have other members but I have not taking there pictures yet but I hope to do so soon.

Thanks

Henry Onuora
He comes.

Time to mention Brother Okon again and let Brother Henry know there is competition for our church�s affections. I also particularly like the prayer I offer at the end of this email.

Date: Sun, 16 Jan 2005 15:24:27 +0000 (GMT)
From: "Phil McCavity"
Subject: Re: The picture is coming.
To: "HENRY ONUORA" <[email protected]>

Brother Henry,

I trust you have had a good weekend and that your studies of the Necronomicon are coming on. It will be a relief to have you raised to second degree acolyte as we must ensure that your disciples recognise your seniority. I have passed on to Father Grinn that you will be sending the ceremony pictures this Wednesday.

Regarding Brother Okon, you are correct, he is not Nigerian but Togolese. He was our first acolyte in Africa however and Father Grinn feels this gives him some understanding of the political sensitivites and strength of feeling towards our church . Already Brother Okon has helped us to 7 numerous missions within Togo and has shown us the strength of will he holds of some 100 believers, hence his being raised to 4th degree.

If you feel that $8000 per month will be sufficient for founding and running the church headquarters then this should not be a problem. Of course, this is dependent upon the building being deemed suitable by Father Grinn through the photograph but I am sure we will be able to progress this before His resurrection.

The day approached Brother, soon we will be the true masters!

Kind Regards

Dr Philip McCavity

"IA IA IA!
ADU EN I BA NINIB
NINIB BA FIRIK
FIRIK BA PIRIK
PIRIK BA AGGA BA ES
AGGA BA ES BA AKKA BAR!
AKKA BAR BA AKKA BA ES
AKKA BA ES BA AKKA BAR
AKKA BAR BA AGGA BA ES
AGGA BA ES BA PIRIK
PIRIK BA FIRIK
FIRIK BE NINIB
NINIB BA ADU EN I
IAIAIAIA!
KUR BUR IA!
EDIN BA EGA
ERIM BA EGURA
E! E! E!
IA IA IA!
EKHI IAK SAKKAK
EKHI AZAG-THOTH
EKHI ASARU
EKHI CUTHALU
IA! IA! IA!" - THE CONJURATION OF IA ADU EN I

Best remind him about the parcel too

Date: Tue, 18 Jan 2005 15:25:19 +0000 (GMT)
From: "Phil McCavity"
Subject: Any news?
To: [email protected]

Brother Henry,

How are things with you? I am writing to ask if you have received the parcel yet as it should be with you very soon. Also what is happening with the office? CHoronzon approaches Brother Henry, I need you to be ready.

Rev Philip McCavity
"Darkness everywhere and not a drop to drink" - Mentadent 4:43

Ah, Brother Henry has obviously taken some advice about the best way for fraudsters to receive their parcels. Also he changes his email address

Date: Wed, 19 Jan 2005 04:03:20 -0800 (PST)
From: "Onuora Henry" <Brother Henry>

Subject: No news yet
To: Phil McCavity

Dear daddy,
Thank you for the mail you sent to me.The conjuration you sent to me,is it for me to use on myself , me all you said you sent to me i have not seen it.What is the company's name,what is the tracking number of the parcel.(the number on the receipt they gave you).
I don't have any money with me,i told you i was sack from where i was working before,like wise all the 7 people i sent their picture to you,you know what is for somebody to renounce his christianity.We are suffering because we are followers of Chronozon.My follower's are accusing me of using their picture to obtain favour from white men.They said i told them about the church but they have not seen the book i told them we should be using Necronomicon.You are pulling my leg.Tell me the company name and the track number you used in registering the parcel i am waitng for the parcel to come then we can proceed further.
Use this box to answer this mail.for all eyes is on me.The number you gave to me i have tried it but it didn't go.set me free because i have other member's waiting.i want to challenge brother okon by toping his follower's.
thanks.HENRY ONUORA.call me on this number +234 8035658357

Time to play dumb on sending parcels abroad

Date: Wed, 19 Jan 2005 15:17:29 +0000 (GMT)
From: "Phil McCavity"
Subject: Re: No news yet [IMPORTANT]
To: "Onuora Henry" <Brother Henry>

Brother Henry,

The parcel was sent via Royal Mail (http://www.royalmail.com/portal/rm) in the UK. I did not get a tracking number as Royal Mail do not give them and you did not ask for one. I simply took it to the post office and handed it over the counter for them to send. It was wrapped in plain brown paper with your name and address on and my return address though so it should come to you. The green customs slip (no 1284653T) has a list of the items I was sending on it. Are you sure you haven't received it yet?

You need to make your followers understand their position, below you but above the common men who will be crushed. Have you actually been raised to second acolyte yet? Where are the photos if you have as this may be why they do not believe you, if you are the same level as them. Father Grinn is also keen to know what is happening regarding the office as Choronzon will soon be walking the earth. Show your followers the book I sent you via email. This should help them understand the calamities to come and that they must follow you.

When you have done this get back to me immediately as I consider you a friend and brother and your church must be nurtured.

Regards

Dr Philip McCavity
"In Darkness and Blood"

Which will happen first, the pictures will arrive or Brother Henry will get hacked off with the non-appearance of his parcel?

Date: Thu, 20 Jan 2005 01:53:40 -0800 (PST)
From: "Onuora Henry" <Brother Henry>

Subject: No News Yet
To: "Phil McCavity"

Dear Daddy,

I have not recieved any thing from anybody, I am worried more than you are about the situation of of things. I have taken the picture concerning the ceremoney but i dont have any money with me to scan it, and send it to you. The picture of the office I have taken two, one of it has image on it, but the other one is plain, but there is no money with me to seand it to you. I am in a fix but I know chorozon is hellping me to sail through , please daddy , tell father grinn that I will send the pictures, Any moment fron now. My box is now secured dont be afriad.

N/B: Today and tomorro is public holiday here in Nigeria no office is open for business.

Thanks Henry Onuora

"In Darkness & Blood"

�I�m sure it�ll turn up�

Date: Thu, 20 Jan 2005 17:47:00 +0000 (GMT)
From: "Phil McCavity"
Subject: Re: No News Yet
To: "Onuora Henry" <Brother Henry>

Brother Henry,

Thank you for your email. I understand your predicament and I myself feel partly responsible. Do you think it is possible the parcel could have been stolen in the post either in the UK or in transit to Nigeria? If this is the case shall I arrange for the cheque to be cancelled? I must confess I am not used to sending goods overseas but the thought of some thief having the goods you need and my personal gift to you infuritates me. Rest assured if this is found to be the case I will personally oversee the culprit being tortured to death by 1000 cuts of a heated knife and his blood being thrown over the members of his family come the dawn of the Dark One!

Brother Henry, you are right to draw power from the coming of Choronzon. Your faith is a wonderful thing and I know that we have done the correct thing by setting you as the leader. Your ambition to surpass Brother Okon makes me proud and I have passed this on to the other elders. I look forward to being able to show them the new office and the fact that we now have acolytes housed in Nigeria. I await your photos.

Vengeance will be ours

Rev Dr Philip McCavity
"Purging the Gums of the Earth in the name of Choronzon"

More promises��..

Date: Fri, 21 Jan 2005 07:38:52 -0800 (PST)
From: "Onuora Henry" <Brother Henry>

Subject: TUESDAY
To: "Phil McCavity"

DADDY,

Your word in your last mail has given me the hope and courage to do the work you assigned to me,without fear or worry.I am trying by all means to send the picturs to you.It is not only one picture,if not i would have found a way to do it.But this is a promise,i will never fail you.

Let's wait till tuesday if the parcel does not come ,then i will ask you to call the cheque back but let's wait till tuesday,but before then i will send the pictures.CALL ROYAL MAIL OFFICE AND COLLECT THE TRACKING NUMBER OF THE PARCEL.

thanks.

HENRY ONUORA

"IN DARKNESS AND BLOOD"

Time for some more religious zeal!

Date: Sat, 22 Jan 2005 14:36:10 +0000 (GMT)
From: "Phil McCavity"
Subject: Re: No News Yet
To: "Onuora Henry" <Brother Henry>

Brother Henry,

I trust your public holiday was satisfactory. Did you watch the complacent idiots roaming around the market square like cattle, unaware that soon we would rule them and crush their spirits with fear? I personally take great pleasure in imagining the pain and suffering that we will wreak upon them come the rise of Choronzon. Imagine the wives we shall have!!!!11

Anyway, enough. Has the parcel arrived yet? It has been 10 working days now so it should be there? If it has not then I am going straight to the post office on Monday to make a complaint to the manager!

How progresses your ministry? I really must press you for the photos of the office and your rising to second degree acolyte. I am unable to send you the money for the upkeep of the office until Father Grinn has inspected the photographs. When all is correct I shall send you the money via Moneygram which Father Grinn tells me is a more secure way of sending money internationally. Our church has an account with Moneyram so it should just be a couple of days to get it to you.

I hope you are well brother. Sharpen your knives for day approaches.

Rev Dr. Philip McCavity
"Floss clean your soul, unbelievers are the plaque of our empire" Book of Marduk

One more murmering of an omen........

Date: Sat, 22 Jan 2005 14:43:02 +0000 (GMT)
From: "Phil McCavity"
Subject: Re: TUESDAY
To: "Onuora Henry" <Brother Henry>

Henry,

Watch the skies tonight brother, something is stirring.......

Rev Philip

To be continued............

Not quite a Newb Joined: 13 Sep 2004 Posts: 69

To recap

The cast is as follows:

Dr Philip McCavity - A reverend in the C.O.E.M.P.A.I.L.O.F.D.O
Father Julius Grinn � Elder of the C.O.E.M.P.A.I.L.O.F.D.O
Tunde Okon � Introduced later on, played by myself portraying another mugu who is successfully conning the Church

Our mugu is

Henry Onoura � 2nd Degree acolyte in the C.O.E.M.P.A.I.L.O.F.D.O

Part 3 � A Church Unlike Any Other

After much pressing for evidence, the photographs arrive in an email all on their own!

There can be no doubt that Brother Henry is now raised to the Second Degree, but he�ll need to send me better building photos if he wants that cash.

Date: Mon, 24 Jan 2005 23:17:40 +0000 (GMT)
From: "Phil McCavity"
Subject: Re: Your photos and the investigation
To: "Onuora Henry" <Brother Henry>

Second Degree Acolyte Henry,

Welcome! Today you are raised officially in the eyes of the elders and are permitted further into our inner sanctum. You must swear that what you learn as Second Degree Acolyte will not be repeated outside of our church. You are now a Lawgiver within the Nigerian parish of the Church of Evangelical Medical Predilections and Ischemic Love of the Dark One. Cherish this rank for you have earnt it and made us proud. It is your right to rule your flock as you wish, you must however follow and study the book I emailed to you (the Necronomicon) for a test is coming when Choronzon rises and all must be ready.

I have today launched a complaint with Royal Mail about the parcel not having arrived. They have told me they will process it and commence an investigation however the parcel could still be in the system. I need to know if it has arrived yet or not as if it has I shall cancel the investigation.

I have spoken with Father Grinn about the photos of the buildings, sadly he has asked me to inform you that neither building appears suitable. As there is no acolyte in one picture and it is impossible to see either you or your cross in the second photo we cannot judge it as worthy of a branch of our church. The purpose of an acolyte being photographed is to emanate the vibrations from the building through the cross so it can be read by an elder. Your photo was sadly too indistinct and you were too small so Father Grinn could not tell anything. I suggest you either select another office or get the photo re-done with acolytes visible. We find that the more acolytes there are in the photo the stronger the vibrations Father Grinn can read.

Do not despair Brother Henry for your power now is growing and the day draws near for His rise. Please make arrangements for a suitable office and also I would appreciate if you could inform us how we are to pay when we have chosen one. You mentioned an estate agent?

Anyway, you must keep strong and order your disciples. Please let me know you have received this email. It must not be read by anyone else outside of our church as we are concerned that others of the Christian faith may have learnt of our plans and be trying to disrupt the Awakening.

Regards

Rev Dr Philip McCavity
"Choronzon Walks.......Soon"

And Brother Henry is happy to have been raised and finally requests money be sent through the inevitable Western Union transfer

Date: Tue, 25 Jan 2005 09:03:25 -0800 (PST)
From: "Onuora Henry" <Brother Henry>
Subject: Re: Your photos and the investigation
To: "Phil McCavity"

DEAR DADDY,

Thank you for making it possible for me to be raised officially in the eyes of the elders and is permitted further into the inner sanctum of the church.I swear as far as choronzon walks i will never repeat whatever i learn as second degree acolyte outside the church.

I appreciate your effort by going to royal mail company to launch a complaint about the parcel ,please could you ask them to give you the tracking number of the parcel so that i can track the parcel and know where it is.At the moment i have not recieve any parcel.

Please daddy ,fund is preventing me from sending any more pictures concerning the building ,please look for a means and send money because i don't have any money with me to do anything now.I have to pay the photographer who will take the pictures of the building ,i have to pay for the estate agent transportation fees,i have to scan and send the pictures,so it is a long process but with money i can be fast.

Even if through wstern union money transfer so that i can collect it the following morning .Send it with this name ONUORA HENRY UGOCHUKWU.with the question and answer.YOU MAY CALL THE CHEQUE BACK.

THANKS .

HENRY ONUORA.

"CHORONZON WALKS-SOON"

So just a quick email to ask about the parcel

Date: Thu, 27 Jan 2005 08:43:01 +0000 (GMT)
From: "Phil McCavity"
Subject: Re: Your photos and the investigation
To: "Onuora Henry" <Brother Henry>

Henry,

Any sign of the parcel yet? I have some exciting news for you and will tell you all later!!!

Rev Philip McCavity
"He rises...." Seal of Tondor inscription

Brother Henry shows another sign of exasperation at the amount of time he�s been waiting for some payoff from the Church. Note the subject line

Date: Thu, 27 Jan 2005 02:13:15 -0800 (PST)
From: "Onuora Henry" <Brother Henry>
Subject: i will quit after friday
To: "Phil McCavity"

I have not received any parcel yet,please When the head of a house is not doing what he suppose to do for his family the family scatters.If the elder's of the church cannot afford to have a branch office here in nigeria u better tell me so,so that i can face other things.From now till friday i will quit from being a leader and also a member of the Church.For i am suffering Bitterly here without no help.Thanks.
FROM:HENRY ONUORA.
HE WALKS AGAIN SOON.

So �good cop� Reverend McCavity emails �bad cop� Father Grinn

Date: Thu, 27 Jan 2005 20:57:53 +0000 (GMT)
From: "Phil McCavity"
Subject: Fwd: i will quit after friday
To: Julius Grinn
CC: Brother Henry

Father Grinn,

Please forgive me for disturbing you however it seems Brother Henry is angry and upset. I hope you can guide him. I apologise for disturbing your solace at this exciting time. Please be gentle with him.

Rev Philip

Cue a threatening email from Father Grinn explaining exactly how deep into the cult our unwitting mugu has come

Date: Fri, 28 Jan 2005 12:35:01 -0800 (PST)
From: "Julius Grinn" <Julius Grinn>
Subject: Fwd: i will quit after friday
To: Brother Henry
CC:

Brother Henry,

I apologise that you have not received your parcel yet from Rev McCavity however that really is not my concern. Rev McCavity withdrew the money from our account and sent it to you. If there is a problem he will cancel the cheque and send you the money by some other method.

However, I will not tolerate you alleging that our church has been lazy when it was someone near to you who has stolen the goods we sent. I have told Rev McCavity to send you only �6300 to cover the cost of the stolen camera, book and telephone unless they arrive. I have also told him that he will not be sending you *any* money until you have shown us the church headquarters. You say that you have not received the goods but given the tone of your letter I am not sure I believe you. I wonder if perhaps you are trying to steal our money and get us to send it again.

I am also amused that you speak of how you say you will quit our church. You must know that that is now physically impossible? Brother Henry, we now have your soul and those of your acolytes. Christianity cannot redeem you or save you, you are one of us. Consider this a warning, Brother Henry, do not toy with this church or you will find our power reigning down on you like sheets of fire.

I will be honest with you Brother Henry, at this time I do not care particularly if you wish to be with us or not. I have reason now to believe that the Dark One has in fact risen. I have sent missionary's out to hunt for Him and I expect your church to join in the hunt or suffer the consequences. You may take your chances of course and disobey, or you can stay with us, apologise and continue. Rev McCavity will send you the money when you prove you are not trying to toy with us. You must show us the headquarters and prepare to commence the search.

When I judge the headquarters to be correct I shall tell Rev McCavity to send you the �6300 for your acolytes and the �8000 for your new church's first month via Western Union. Now commence the search.

Now deal only with Rev McCavity. I do not expect to be bothered any more with such minor matters as this when He walks the earth.

Father Julius Grinn
Elder of the Church of Evangelical Medical Predilections and Ischemic Love of the Dark One,
Sainted Knight of the Scissor, Paper and Stone Trinity

And an apology to Rev McCavity

Date: Sat, 29 Jan 2005 09:55:11 -0800 (PST)
From: "Onuora Henry" <Brother Henry>
Subject: PLEASE FORGIVE ME
To: "Phil McCavity"

Dear Daddy,
I am sorry for the mail i sent you i am a memeber of this church,i have been suffering for the church for the last one month without any help,That is why i wrote that mail please forgive me i sent my apology to father grinn.please help me and the church here in nigeria.I am waiting to hear from you.
THANKS
HENRY ONUORA

And to Father Grinn

Date: Sat, 29 Jan 2005 09:38:12 -0800 (PST)
From: "Onuora Henry" <Brother Henry>
Subject: FORGIVE ME PLEASE
To: "Julius Grinn" <Julius Grinn>

Dear Father Grinn,
I am deeply sorry for disturbing your solac.please forgive me,forgive me for my last mail to phil mccavity it was due to my condition here in nigeria before i entered the faith i made up my mind to be a member of the church i put in all my effort i convinced people to join the church of which i am their leader for now but my worry is that since i started this i have lost my job the last place i was working was in a christian firm.I was sacked because i renounced my christianity.Father i am not after the church money i only want to fulfill my promise to myself and to the church.I have some acolyts under me anb other's are waiting to be baptised into the church.Father there is no book to teach them what they suppose to know about the church,the parcel philip sent to me,I have not receieved it that is why i am worried.Reason with me father i have no work doing but i have been doing the work of the church catering the expences for myself i need the church to help me to take the church far,i need your trust i am for the church my soul is with you we are one in blood and spirit,the church has to trust me because they trusted me before making me a leader.I am dieing to lead my flock out for the hunt,tell me what to do to participate im the hunt.please father tell Rev Mccavity to send the money to me.
THANKS
HENRY ONUORA]
'' HE WALKS SOON''

And nice Rev McCavity forgives Brother Henry, however his hands are tied regarding sending the money and it�s all Brother Henry�s fault. At this point I like to imagine Brother Henry kicking himself for being so hasty.

Date: Sun, 30 Jan 2005 18:19:28 +0000 (GMT)
From: "Phil McCavity"
Subject: Re: PLEASE FORGIVE ME
To: "Onuora Henry" <Brother Henry>

Brother Henry,

Forgiveness is for the weak however Father Grinn has instructed me to allow you to remain in the church and remain you shall. The Dark One walks and we seek him. You must set up our church office as soon as possible in case it is your mission that finds him. Father Grinn has told me to send you no more money until the office is established, I am sorry but this is an order from an elder that I cannot disobey. Has the parcel turned up yet? I hope it has, I really do.

Since HE has risen and we only have 4 branches in Africa, you and your followers must join the hunt immediately. The Necronomicon can be read and will give clues to where he is. We do not believe he has risen in America as we have many branches there and none can see any signs. You must tell me Brother, are there any signs that you have seen that he is in Africa?

We are very busy and Brother Okon believes the Dark One may have risen in Togo and if this is the case we will be sending him money to set up our African headquarters in the church and running all our business through Brother Okon.

Brother Henry you must be vigilant, the day of darkness soon will fall. I look forward to hearing from you soon.

Rev Philip McCavity
"Darkness Falls"

But Brother Henry takes it on the chin, after all, the stupid priests have sent the parcel already, that can�t be stopped�..

Date: Mon, 31 Jan 2005 01:05:59 -0800 (PST)
From: "Onuora Henry" <Brother Henry>
Subject: trust is what i need.
To: "Phil McCavity"

daddy ,i need your trust i will do nothing untill i hear or recieve any thing from you i have not recieved any parcel yet.
thanks
henry onuora
in blood.

And now a nice summary of exactly what the church requires from Brother Henry, including the commencement of the search for the new incarnation of Choronzon

Date: Mon, 31 Jan 2005 22:28:50 +0000 (GMT)
From: "Phil McCavity"
Subject: Re: trust is what i need.
To: "Onuora Henry" <Brother Henry>

Brother Henry,

I am glad we understand each other and we have trust. We require from you the following:

1) Confirmation as to if you have received the parcel. I have confirmed that it left the UK 2 days after I sent it howvever it s now missing. If you have not received it yet I suspect you never will.

2) Father Grinn is still waiting for the church photographs so as he can judge your headquarters. He has told me to withold your monthly stipend and payment until you have sent these.

3) You are to commence the search for the Dark One. He walks the earth and we beleive he may be in Africa or Asia. You are to look for any strange signs and tell us of them to see if Father Grinn or another elder can interpret them.

I hope this is clear.

Rev Dr Philip McCavity
"He walks the Earth...?"

So Brother Henry replies with a few instructions for Rev McCavity�s benefit about how to recall the cheque and�..his first mystical happening in the village!

Date: Tue, 1 Feb 2005 03:45:52 -0800 (PST)
From: "Onuora Henry" <Brother Henry>
Subject: he is here in Nigeria
To: "Phil McCavity"

DADDY,
compliment's of the day to you,thaks for your mail firstly,i will like to know if the elder's of the church has any means of finding out something,that is something that is missing from any of the acolytes,let them use it and find out if i am saying the truth or not.Initially i asked for the tracking number of the parcel and u refused to give me,now u told me the parcel have missed if u send a parcel what is the tracking number,what is the companies address here in nigeria,i have told you to call back the cheque,so this will tell you i have not collected any parcel,I am a man of my word,my only problem now is that book of necronomicon because i know Choronzon is in Nigeria.
Secondly,something strange happened here in nigeria yesterday being monday at about 11:30 GMT the weather changed as if there will be an eclipse.Then after like 30 minutes a strong wind came that carried away a roof behind my compound,people were afraid to come out of their houses if choronzon is walking on the earth he is here in Nigeria and i tell you he is my helper,he is my director,if he walks in Africa,Nigeria is the place and among all the missionaries with divine providence i am to find him because i believe he walks inside me.
Lastly concerning the building pictures don't expect it because i don't have money to sponsor the project.
THANKS.
HENRY ONUORA
"HE WALKS THE EARTH''

So I commence making arrangements for a priest to come and help for the search in Nigeria

Date: Tue, 1 Feb 2005 19:18:52 +0000 (GMT)
From: "Phil McCavity"
Subject: Re: he is here in Nigeria
To: "Onuora Henry" <Brother Henry>

Brother Henry,

Thank you very much for the update. This is indeed truly exciting news! I have spoken with Father Grinn and told him of what you believe. We are now making plans for one of our elders, Father Ginger Vitus to come and meet with your order very soon. You can then strike out and try to find Him together. Strangely Brother Okon also feels that he may have located the Dark One so Father Vitus will also travel to Togo to find the truth. No matter though, we shall find Him and begin our ascension..

Brother, I must confess that it vexes me somewhat that we are still talking about the parcel. I have given it up as lost. This upsets me as I had included a personal copy of the Necronomicon as a gift from me to you so you will have to carry on using the electronic one I emailed you. Do you still have it or should I resend it? I explained there was no tracking number (I did not refuse!) but that an enquiry by the Royal Mail had confirmed that it has left the United Kingdom, they can trace it no further than that. I have now cancelled the cheque, should it arrive then please do not cash it as it would be a waste of your time.

I am sorry that you are suffering Brother Henry but I cannot do anything about that, the word of Father Grinn is law here and he has made his decree about the provision of the building photos. That must stand unless he says otherwise so I cannot send you any money for your church headquarters.

Additionally I do not possess any of these powers you speak of although Father Grinn and some of the other elders do possess otherworldly knowledge. They do not choose to share this with me and their motives are there own.

For now I need to know whether you or any of your acolytes will be able to house Father Vitus when he leaves for Nigeria.

Please get back to me ASAP.

Kind regards

Dr Philip McCavity
"In Blood"

Please send me some money!!!!!!

Date: Thu, 3 Feb 2005 02:31:08 -0800 (PST)
From: "Onuora Henry" <Brother Henry>

Subject: I'M WAITING FOR HIS ARRIVAL
To: "Phil McCavity"

Dear Daddy,Don't Be Offended for the delay in sending you this mail,I don't have money to check my box until later on the night,but this is not the issue,the issue is that i want to find him that walks the earth,and the easiest mean's is through the reading of ythe necronomicon.Daddy,i must confess to you ,the book you sent to me through e-mail i can't read it because i don't know how to open the book from the computer,will it be possible for you to outline to me on how to open the book in the computer.
I have tried my best as human to make sure the church here in nigeria stands as african headquarter's but now i see that the elder's don't recognise my effort,Now i resign to faith let the will of he who walks the earth be done,But let the elder's know one thing as far as choronzon walks we all are one in blood and follower's of choronzon,we have to be our brothers keeper
I am happy the elder vitus will be coming to Nigeria,It is a great thing of joy to me and the other accolytes,now i believe thet i am dealing with human beings and not ghost's i will house elder vitus thru out his stay here in nigeria but i need to know how lonfg he will be staying so that i will make arrangement's for he's arrival
N/B:will it be possible for the church to stand our nigerian head office through elder vitus when he arrives nigeria.please daddy do me a favour from the bottom of my heart i beg you to send money to me from your own pocket any amount at all.for giver's never lack,Even if it is 500 or 1000 pound's.For me to keep my body and soul alive i consider you a daddy,a friend and also a brother help me please send the money through western union with the name ONUORA HENRY.together with the question and answer .
THANKS
HENRY ONUORA
''IN BLOOD''

So Rev McCavity goes away on holiday to leave Brother Henry stewing for a while

Date: Sat, 5 Feb 2005 02:18:22 +0000 (GMT)
From: "Phil McCavity"
Subject: Re: I'M WAITING FOR HIS ARRIVAL
To: "Onuora Henry" <Brother Henry>

Brother Henry

Forgive the brevity of this missive but we think we have found him. I am going away for 5 nights to test the Risen and see if it is truly the Dark One. Hold fast and be brave, this could be our new dawn!

Rev Philip

*********

Date: Sat, 5 Feb 2005 02:06:20 -0800 (PST)
From: "Onuora Henry" <Brother Henry>

Subject: Re: I'M WAITING FOR HIS ARRIVAL
To: "Phil McCavity"

- i am waiting to hear from you as soon as you come back so as to know what to do next

thanks from henry onuora

Five days later�.

Date: Thu, 10 Feb 2005 10:18:34 -0800 (PST)
From: "Onuora Henry" <Brother Henry>

Subject: have he been found .
To: "Phil McCavity"

dear daddy

i have waited for five night now without hearing from you what is happening has he

been found i want to know what is happening .

thanks henry onuora

:IN BLOOD:

Ten days later�.. Something must be wrong

Date: Tue, 15 Feb 2005 03:55:36 -0800 (PST)
From: "Onuora Henry" <Brother Henry>

Subject: i am waiting to hear from you
To: "Phil McCavity"

dear daddy

what have i done to deserv all this punishment where have i gone wrong what is happenig have he been found tell me my acolyts here are disturbing me

from henry onuora

" in blood"

And cue an email from, Father Grinn explaining tha Brother Henry has not been acting correctly and that the Togo branch is, run by Brother Okon now has the pleasure of Rev McCavity�s company

Date: Wed, 23 Feb 2005 08:02:04 -0800 (PST)
From: "Julius Grinn" <Julius Grinn>

Subject: Re: what have i done
To: "Onuora Henry" <Brother Henry>

Brother Henry,

Rev McCavity has not been contacting you as I have instructed him not to.

I do not believe that you are serious about your membership in our movement. You have not shown us evidence of spreading the movement or even satisfactory photos of the headquarters which you asked us to pay for. It seems that you are just 7 men in Nigeria who wish to take money from the Dark One but lose interest when the faith becomes difficult. The truly faithful will be rewarded but those who shy away shall be crushed! A second acolyte should know these things and I wonder whether you have read the Necronomicon that was emailed to you by Rev McCavity.

Rev McCavity spent his own money sending you items which never arrived and he is deeply upset by this. I personally inflicted a grevious punishment upon him in the name of the Dark One as at times he acts without thinking.

Rev McCavity is at present in Togo seeking the Dark One with Brother Okon. If you have the faith you say you do then you will show to me how serious you are about the Dark One's coming. I leave the choice of proof to you.

From the bowels of the Earth, He has risen,

Father Julius Grinn.
Elder of the Church of Evangelical Medical Predilections and Ischemic Love of the Dark One,
Sainted Knight of the Scissor, Paper and Stone Trinity

And now a nice grovelling email from Brother Henry. 3 months on and still he hasn�t received a penny. He used to be a devoted Christian��

Date: Thu, 24 Feb 2005 01:04:51 -0800 (PST)
From: Onuora Henry
Subject: my body my spirit belong to the church
To: Julius Grinn

dear daddy
i am happy to hear from you ,what you are accusing me of is not my intention towards the church i am adevoted christian befor i joind this order and hence chroronzon is concernd i am adevot member of the order i told cavity that i dont have money to contineu with the projet he gave to me i have to be frank with you i have other acolytes waiting even till today i am supprise as cavity stoped writhing to me please daddy if i have gone wrong it is your duty as my elder and also as a leder of the church to corret me i am for the church tell what to do to procced further i need your word believe me if he is to be found i am the one to do it my body my soul belong to the church
thanks from
henry onuora
"in blood"

To be continued

Not quite a Newb Joined: 13 Sep 2004 Posts: 69

To recap

The cast is as follows:

Dr Philip McCavity - A reverend in the C.O.E.M.P.A.I.L.O.F.D.O
Father Julius Grinn � Elder of the C.O.E.M.P.A.I.L.O.F.D.O
Tunde Okon � Introduced later on, played by myself portraying another mugu who is successfully conning the Church

Our mugu is

Henry Onoura � 2nd Degree acolyte in the C.O.E.M.P.A.I.L.O.F.D.O

Part 4 � Who will find the Dark One First?

It�s at this point that I think if I�m going to get any more trophies out of Brother Henry, he will need persuading that the church is really is rich and does give away lots of money. To that end I introduce Togolese guyman, Tunde Okon into the bait (also played by myself). Firstly I send Tunde an email from Father Grinn checking he has received all the money that Rev McCavity took with him

Date: Thu, 24 Feb 2005 11:21:52 -0800 (PST)
From: "Julius Grinn" <Julius Grinn>
Subject: Fwd: my body my spirit belong to the church
To: Tunde Okon

Brother Okon,

Please pass the email below on to Reverend McCavity, it is from Brother Onoura in Nigeria. I have not yet told him about the other Nigerian mission which has opened it's headquarters in Abuja and need Rev McCavity to contact him and Brother Abacha.

When will you require the $15,000 for the new roof for your church please? Myself and the other elders are very pleased with the pictures you have sent us and I hope that the $19,000 I sent with Rev McCavity reached you successfully. When do you think Rev McCAvity will be able to use a computer himself or contact us via the telephone?

I wish you all the best in your hunt.

Father Julius Grinn.
Elder of the Church of Evangelical Medical Predilections and Ischemic Love of the Dark One,
Sainted Knight of the Scissor, Paper and Stone Trinity

This then causes Brother Okon to launch into a nice Oga tirade at Brother Henry. I also ensure that Father Grinn�s email, which mentions another Nigerian church is forwarded so Brother Henry will read it

Date: Thu, 24 Feb 2005 19:31:45 +0000 (GMT)
From: Tunde Okon
Subject: Fwd: my body my spirit belong to the church
To: Brother Henry

MAGA HENRY

LEAVE MUGU MCCAVITY ALONE YOU DEY?!!!!! HE MINE MUGU AND HIM V RICH WITH DARK ONE MUGU CHURCH. I SEND PHOTOS THEY SEND MONEY EASY. NOW MCCAVITY IN MY COUNTRY. MCCAVITY BRING MUCH CASH AND BELIEVE IN TOGO DARK ONE.

YOU NO GUYMAN OOOOOOOOOOOOO.

TUNDE

Brother Henry falls for it J

dear okon,
soory for the latenees of my mail to you ,i suppose to contact you befor now why i didnt do so is because i dont know the kind of person you are please tunde i need your help ,my picture is with this peopel when i wrote to them for the first time ,i didnt know it will go in this way .i have found out what is happening i am not a scamer i am in need of power to defect my enemies ,now i have found what i am looking for but you are there ,your motive you have achieved i need your help please as a man with concience ,i want you to put me besied you i want you to help me as G od in his infinite mercy have helped you according to father grinn mail to you he was talking about their mission in nigeria please i want you to make me the head of the nigeria branch of the church i know you can do it i am begging you please help a fellow man like you who is in need please tell them about my effort to stand the church you are in togo you cannot be controling the nigeria branch of the church please tell me the condition to work with you
thanks from
henry onuora.

Oga Okon then commences his correspondence course in scamming with Brother Henry

Henry,

Look what you want me do? Am makin money from mugu church you dey. You want work for me, do you know wash-wash or come-carry?

McCavity tell me he has 2 church in nigeria now, abuja and lagos. Him seen good photos of headquarters in abjua and church paid $16,000 to scammer but him not know is 419. McCavity, Grinn and Vitus are Maga. Who are your enemies?

You come see me in Togo, can u pick up Moneygram for me in Lagos?

Tunde Okon

Of course Brother Henry would be happy to work for Tunde

Date: Tue, 1 Mar 2005 07:32:12 -0800 (PST)
From: "HENRY ONUORA" <[email protected]>
Subject: i am with you
To: "Tunde Okon" <Tunde Okon>

i can do anything you ask me to do , please let have a feel of the bread from the church i am a man like you tell me about the money gram and i will collect it for you i want to see you tell me what to do i want to see you
thanks from henry onuora

He hears nothing for a couple of days and at this point it seems Brother Henry decides pretending to be a true believer in the C.O.E.M.P.A.I.L.O.F.D.O will get him some cash

tunde
i have waited to hear from you but no way what is happening have i offended you please tell father grinn that i am the only true worshipper of choronzon i know the will listen to you

Then Brother Henry decides he may get some money out of the church if he tells Father Grinn that Brother Okon is a scammer in two emails. This is also followed up with another of his increasingly bizarre unholy visions.

Date: Thu, 3 Mar 2005 08:14:50 -0800 (PST)
From: "HENRY ONUORA" <[email protected]>
Subject: I NEED YOUR TRUST THE PEOPEL YOU ARE DEALNG WITH ARE 419.
To: "Julius Grinn" <Julius Grinn>

DEAR DADDY,
YOU HAVE TOLD ME THAT YOU ARE NOTHING BUT A FOOL THE PEOPEL YOU TRUSTHED ARE ALL 419 I AM THE ONLY TRUE WORSHIPPER OF CHORONZON WHEN YOU WILL FOUND OUT THE TRUTH YOU WILL COME BACK TO ME ,I AM ONLY WAITING FOR YOU TO REALIES YOUR MISTAKES I WILL FORGIVE YOU
YOU BELIEVE YOU HAVE AN OFFICE HERE IN NIGERIA I WANT TO USE THIS OPPUTUNITY TO TELL YOU THAT IT IS A PIPE DREAM IF YOU DONT LISTEN TO ME AND HEED MY VOICE YOU WILL REGRET EVER STEPPING YOUR FOOT IN AFRICA MY VOICE IS LIKE THE VOICE OF AN ANGEL
THIS IS A MASSEGE FROM CHORONZON "I AM TO BE FOUND WHERE EAGEL IS BEEN GURDED BY TWO HORSES

DEAR SIR
THIS IS A MASSEGE FROM CHORONZON TO YOU "I AM TO BE FOUND IN A COUNTRY WHERE AN EAGEL IS GURDED BY TWO HORSES "THE PEOPEL YOU ARE CALLING MINE ARE NOT MINE .THE TRUE WORSHIPPER THEY DONT WANT TO CONTAC T ,THE REST ARE 419 I .I AM WATING FOR YOU TO COM BACK TO ME WHEN YOU FOUND OUT THAT I AM THE ONLY WORSHIPPER OF CHORONZON . I AM AMUESED WHENTUNDE OKON TOLD ME THAT YOU HAVE OTHER BRANCHES IN NIGERIA ,THINK TWISE THEY ARE MILKING YOU ,ARE 419 MY VOICE IS LIKE THE VOICE OF AN ANGEL TO YOU .I AM WAITING FOR YOU TO COME BACK TO ME WHEN YOU WILL FOUND OUT THE TRUTH THAT ALL ARE FAKE . THIS IS A WARNINGTO BEWEAR OR YOU WILL REGRET EVER COMMING TO AFRICA.I AM WAITINGFOR YOU TO REALISE YOUR MISTAKES SEND THE BOOK OF NECRONOMICOM TO ME FOR CHORONZON TOLD ME THAT THE ONE YOU CLAIM YOU SENT ,YOU NEVER SEND
THANKS FROM
HENRY ONUORA
"IN BLOOD"

I then forward this email to Tunde Okon asking what Brother Henry is talking about

Date: Fri, 4 Mar 2005 04:25:15 -0800 (PST)
From: "Julius Grinn" <Julius Grinn>

Subject: Fwd: I NEED YOUR TRUST THE PEOPEL YOU ARE DEALNG WITH ARE 419.
To: [email protected]

Brother Okon,

I have received this email from Henry in Nigeria. He believes that some of the branches we have in Africa may be 419, do you know what this means? As you know 419 is a sacred number to the Dark One but Henry believes it to be bad and I think he is trying to warn us although he is very rude about it.

I am sorry you have not yet found the Dark One, Rev McCavity has returned safely. Brother Henry mentions that he believes the Dark One is to be found where an Eagle is guarded by two horses. Do you know what this means?

Father Julius Grinn.
Elder of the Church of Evangelical Medical Predilections and Ischemic Love of the Dark One,
Sainted Knight of the Scissor, Paper and Stone Trinity

And Brother Henry then gets a slap from Tunde Okon. He also gets a little incentive though that maybe he can be one of Tunde�s Guys.

Date: Fri, 4 Mar 2005 21:12:26 +0000 (GMT)
From: "Tunde Okon" <Tunde Okon>
Subject: Fwd: I NEED YOUR TRUST THE PEOPEL YOU ARE DEALNG WITH ARE 419.
To: [email protected]

WHAT YOU DO TELLING GRINN ABOUT 419????? YOU LUCKY YOU NOT TELL HIM MY SCAM OR WOULD COME FIND YOU IF COST ME MONEY OOOO. NEVER MENTION 419 TO GRINN OR I NO HELP YOU. ABUJA CHURCH MY CHRUCH TOO, RUN BY ONE MY GUYS YOU DEY.

YOU WANT MUGU CHURCH SEND YOU MONEY YOU NEED SEND PHOTO OF CHURCH, MUGU GRINN STUBBORN BIG-HEAD IDIOT BUT HIM RICH

THIS JOB IN BENIN BE SMALL BUT WILL BE GETTING $7000 BY MONEYGRAM, YOU COLLECT AND SEND TO ME BUT NOT HAPPEN FOR 2 WEEK. HOW LONG TAKE YOU GET TO BENIN?

Brother Henry thinks he�s got off easy

Date: Fri, 4 Mar 2005 11:04:26 -0800 (PST)
From: HENRY ONUORA <[email protected]>
Subject: i will help you ..
To: Tunde Okon <Tunde Okon>

dear tunde,
thanks for your concern for me thank you for telling father grinn that i am a believer of choronzon thank you once again for giveing me your surppot
comming to your mony gram i will help you so far as you are sure the mony is ther tell me when you are ready and i will help you
thanks henry onuora

Brother Henry then passes on another of his mystical �masseges [sic] from choronzon�. This one I think is warning about not eating chicken� He also appears to be subtly introduce himself as some sort of �Choosen one�

Date: Sat, 5 Mar 2005 00:38:01 -0800 (PST)
From: "Onuora Henry" <Brother Henry>
Subject: it will not walk.
To: "Phil McCavity"

dear daddy
welcom back home from togo but this is a massege from choronzon to you >the killing and eating of chiking is not for me,becaous the one i have choosen you have rejected >i am the choosen one give me a chance to prove myself.
thanks from
onuora henry
:in blood:

Tunde then explains a few modalities to Brother Henry about their forthcoming business

Date: Sun, 6 Mar 2005 22:24:05 +0000 (GMT)
From: "Tunde Okon" <Tunde Okon>
Subject: Re: tell me what to do.
To: "HENRY ONUORA" <[email protected]>

Henry,

I will get my guy to email you soon from abuja church but he no want work with you as his church is 419 and he keep money for him. You work for me in lagos and collect moneygram for me in benin. You work mugu grinn church how you want is your job, i help you by telling grinn and mccavity you serious believe in stupid dark one choronzon. You send good photo of church grinn wants i think only way him and mccavity talk again and accept you're church and send money dem promise.

Make him happy if you have more acolytes too but that your scam, you never mention 419 to grinn or mccavity again understand? Church people seem strange to me but they pay good for proof we worship dark one.

Tunde

Brother Henry then replies to Tunde and also asks him if he has any photos of acolytes that he can have and offers him 20% of the cut. Now that�s just not right!

tunde
i thank you for your mail to me please i need some picturs of acolyts from you i need your help this is a promis from me to you any help you give any mony that enters you have 20%of it this is apromise do me a favour

In the meantime, another massage from choronzon then arrives from the increasingly prophetic Brother Henry

Date: Tue, 8 Mar 2005 11:10:31 -0800 (PST)
From: "Onuora Henry" <Brother Henry>

Subject: he lives in me.
To: "Phil McCavity"

dear daddy
this is a massege to you from choronzon ;ascension is a must ,only if i can be found ,for by my divine rulership i walk the earth again .let land were i walk for i am an eagel:the brave have been choosen to find me for i am in him.
thanks from
henry onuora
:in blood:

However Rev. McCavity is still not allowed to contact Brother Henry. Brother Henry will have to be forgiven by Father Grinn before anything can change

Date: Fri, 11 Mar 2005 20:06:20 +0000 (GMT)
From: "Phil McCavity"
Subject: Re: he lives in me.
To: "Onuora Henry" <Brother Henry>

Brother Henry,

I am sorry but I am forbidden from contacting you by Father Grinn. He has said he doesn't believe your sincerity even though I and even Brother Okon have argued on your behalf. He has even got another church now in Nigeria to commence the hunt. There is nothing I can do to help you at this time. Father Grinn wanted to see the headquarters properly and you would not show him. Only Father Grinn can change these things, you should speak with him and maybe he would forgive you.

I have risked much by sending you this email but I know in my heart that you believe.

Rev Philip McCavity

Brother Henry is now the only one who can find the Dark One with the help of the acolytes

Date: Tue, 15 Mar 2005 07:50:50 -0800 (PST)
From: "Onuora Henry" <Brother Henry>
Subject: he cant be found without me.
To: "Phil McCavity"

dear daddy,
you are a loving father to me ,i want to assure you one thing ,choronzon walks the earth i am a believer of he that walks he told me not to listen to father grinn any more that he has been diseven me since i want to tell you one thing i am a believer of choronzon and i an the acolyts i baptised in the name of choronzon will contineu to worship him the way he directed me to do my only fear is that now we are more than 20 in number i assure you one thing i and i alone knows where he can be found and i will wait till father grinn realies that .without me choronzon cant be found
n/bhe will regret ever abandoning my advice .he will also regret not sending mony to me for the church head office.
i repeat he lives in me .
thanks for your understanding .i and my acolyts are wating for him to realise his mistakes and when he does then we will tell him what it has cost us to build the church .
;IN BLOOD;
henry onuora.

Time to let Brother Henry that we are bending over backwards to allow him to re-enter the C.O.E.M.P.A.I.L.O.F.D.O

Date: Fri, 18 Mar 2005 12:43:46 +0000 (GMT)
From: "Phil McCavity"
Subject: Re: he cant be found without me.
To: "Onuora Henry" <Brother Henry>

Brother Henry,

I have spoken with Father Grinn about your situation. I still believe that you are a faithful follower however you are misguided if you believe this church will do anything without Father Grinn. He is an elder, his word is law. To him you are no longer one of our church.

I have made a personal appeal to Father Grinn and I believe Brother Okon has also. I know your heart is faithful and that you seek to help us and I believe we need all the help we can get and that the more acolytes we have the better. I am especially interested in the messages you say you receive and sincerely want to come and speak to you about them in person. This cannot be done without Father Grinn's permission. You know what Father Grinn's conditions are for your branch to receive funding and assistance, you know he required photographs to divine from. The Abuja branch has grown strongly and become wealthy however I believe we also need your branch in Lagos to assist. I am not the person to whom you should be talking Brother Henry, I ask you to make peace with Father Grinn if you can.

Already too long has past and the Dark One should now be on his throne, not lost in some godforsaken country.

In Blood

Rev Philip McCavity

Now to deal with the issue of false pictures�

Date: Sun, 20 Mar 2005 13:58:53 +0000 (GMT)
From: "Tunde Okon" <Tunde Okon>
Subject: Re: i need your help
To: "Phil McCavity"

Onoura

Why you want dey pictures? Mugu church know all my guymen as acolytes and not be happy if seee again in your church. I told mccavity you want stay in church an he say grinn man to talk to and send photo. i done all i can here so up to you. You still able go Benin collect moneygram?

Tunde

Now our scheming mugu denies any interest in the churches cash. Good thing really as there isn�t any�

Date: Wed, 23 Mar 2005 00:24:12 -0800 (PST)
From: "Onuora Henry" <Brother Henry>
Subject: i will talk to father grinn.
To: "Phil McCavity"

dear daddy,
i have heard what you said i will try and make peace with father grinn, but mind tou the thron is for the believers who think right about the risen one and the shall inherit the kindom of he that walks the earth how do you want to see me here in nigeria or in london if here in nigeria i will like to know when
i dont need any money from the church what i need is the book of the necronomicon.
thanks from henry onuora "
"in blood"

And I then email Brother Henry an electronic copy of the Necronomicon found online before going away again for a bit. I also give him another prod asking if he has received my parcel Smile

Date: Fri, 25 Mar 2005 08:11:43 +0000 (GMT)
From: "Phil McCavity"
Subject: Re: i will talk to father grinn.
To: "Onuora Henry" <Brother Henry>

Brother Henry,

I am glad you will talk to Father Grinn. We are eager to find Him and need all the followers we can muster for The Reign of Vengeance.

I am sending you another copy of the book of Necronomicon via email. It is in a .pdf format. If you go to www.adobe.com and download a copy of the "Acrobat Reader" program you will be able to view the book in full. I hope this helps.

Rev Philip McCavity

PS Please note I am again travelling until next Wednesday although I should be able to check my email during this period, I will not be in London however.

PPS Did the parcel ever arrive?

Obviously the parcel question has touched a nerve. I wonder how much trouble he got in with his friends�.

Date: Sat, 26 Mar 2005 01:54:42 -0800 (PST)
From: "Onuora Henry" <Brother Henry>

Subject: i will tell you how to find him when you come back.
To: "Phil McCavity"

dear daddy ,
thank you for your mail to me , i want to beg you for one thing please dont tell me anything corncerning the parcel you said you sent ,my lord who walks the earth and who is on his thron of glory have told me that you are a liar that you did not send any parcel .dr mc cavity i dont know what your mind is telling you about me, i am a choosen one mind you ,so you dont have to be lieing to me because anything i want to know will be revealed to me through him that walks the earth .
thanks for sending the book again then wait for somtime and i will tell you how he is to be found.
from henry onuora
:in blood:

I�ll deal with him calling Rev. McCavity a liar later. For now I think some Top Tips from Tunde Okon will help keep our mugu on track for the next trophy I�m after

Date: Tue, 29 Mar 2005 00:38:56 +0100 (BST)
From: "Tunde Okon" <Tunde Okon>
Subject: Re: i am ready if you are ready for the money gramm.
To: "HENRY ONUORA" <[email protected]>

Onoura,

Picture of church is easy, just stand in front of any building with dey cross and make picture, mugu church not know what building it is. mugu grinn alway say him want clear picture so he make his juju. i don't know why an i don't care, him just rich maga. why you want me send my church picture, you not in my pictures and grinn and mccavity know you.

Moneygram is soon but my guy in russia website is been closed and now da mugu is ask question. No problem but he now want me send him bank details so need another guy to give the bank. can you make dey websites or you know how make certificates? mail me back quick ok?

Tunde

I wonder if he really did read all that gobbledegook in the Necronomicon�

Date: Thu, 31 Mar 2005 01:14:02 -0800 (PST)
From: "Onuora Henry" <Brother Henry>

Subject: i am ready to send the pictures of the building for his glory to rest on it.
To: "Phil McCavity"

dear daddy,
i want to use this opportunity to thank you for the book you send to me i have read it and i am ready to lead you to him only after my spritual cleaning of my body as directed by choronzon ,i want to know if i am permitted to send the pictures of the building for the office and the rest of my acolytes if i am permitted then tell me so that i can send it to you.befor my spritual cleansing starts.he warnd me not to read the book againg in my house because the house is not dedicated to him,that is why i want to send the pictures now .he is alive.
thanks from henry onuora.
'"in blood"

Time for another Top Tip from Tunde letting him know how much money he will be getting now he is one of Tunde�s guymen.

Date: Thu, 31 Mar 2005 19:35:49 +0100 (BST)
From: "Tunde Okon" <Tunde Okon>
Subject: Re: i dont uderstand what you mean by making websites or certificates.
To: "HENRY ONUORA" <[email protected]>

Onoura

Ok no problem i just always look for guys who make websites for banks or diplomatic certificates on photoshop dey? you can be one mi guys in lagos as you can travel easy to collect dem Moneygram.

Acolyte pictures are easy as all maga church care about lots of people hunting for stupid dark one. can all be together but each need carry own stupid cross in photo. last time i sent photo of acolyte group with crosses by my church as is cheaper than many photos ok?

Tunde

And now it�s time to let Brother Henry know that he has upset Rev McCavity but by now I can smell trophies so I don�t slap too hard, yet�.

Date: Fri, 1 Apr 2005 04:33:11 -0800 (PST)
From: Julius Grinn <Julius Grinn>
Subject: Re: i am ready to send the pictures of the building and that of the rest acolytes.
To: Onuora Henry <Brother Henry>

Brother Henry,

I am satisified that you have indeed read the Necronomicon as it is true that the book itself exudes a power which prevents you from reading it in holy or blessed places. I trust you felt the power from it and hope you feel the urge to deepen your blood pact with our Dark Lord. We need as many acolytes as we can to help us find this incarnation of the Dark One. Personally I wonder if he has been reincarnated in an animal as I feel a human would have been found by now. If this is the case then so be it for it will be easy to arrange for an individual to be possessed if needs be.

I must warn you that Rev McCavity is angry with you that you called him a liar over the parcel, you need to be respectful of him for he is your mentor and leader as I have too many other branches to de dealing with. There are now 9 branches of our order in Africa with churches in Togo, South Africa and Ivory Coast all joining within the last month. Our path to world domination grows stronger with each passing day!

If you have the pictures and I am satisfied that you have your church then we can recommence our relationship. I will guide your search with Reverend McCavity and I now await your obeisance and photographs.

"Below the mantle of the earth, He has awoken"

Father Julius Grinn.
Elder of the Church of Evangelical Medical Predilections and Ischemic Love of the Dark One,
Sainted Knight of the Scissor, Paper and Stone Trinity

Sure enough Brother Henry tells me he has the photos and he then begins to babble about just how devoted to the Dark One he is.

Onuora Henry <Brother Henry> wrote:

dear fathergrinn,
please i want to use this oppurtunity to tell you that i have in my possesion the pictures of the building for the office ,i read the book of the nicronomicon that mc cavity sent to me and i was warndby choronzon not to read the book again in the house where i read it that the house i read the book is not dedicated to him that i have to do what you tell me so that i can have a house that is dedicated to him ,and read the book thier. please sir i want to know if i am free to send the building pictures to you time is running out .
secondly i was also warnd about not being spritualy clean that i have to concecrecat my body befor i will be allowed to read the book again it is time for me to lead you to him who walks and who i believe is now on his throneof glory waiting for us to come to him for ascension.me that is rejected will lead you to him .
the book is 147,pages.after my spritual cleanness i will make a soul traveling according to him that walks in it he will show me how3 to condut the hunt5 and find him .if i am still wothy to be a menber of the church please indicate by answering this mail then i will send the pictures for the office and the rest pictures of my acolytes.
thanks yours faithfull
henry onuora.
"in blood"

Now it just remains to be seen if he�ll come through with the photos. To be continued�..

Not quite a Newb Joined: 13 Sep 2004 Posts: 69

To recap

The cast is as follows:

Dr Philip McCavity - A reverend in the C.O.E.M.P.A.I.L.O.F.D.O
Father Julius Grinn � Elder of the C.O.E.M.P.A.I.L.O.F.D.O
Tunde Okon � Introduced later on, played by myself portraying another mugu who is successfully conning the Church

Our mugu is

Henry Onoura � 2nd Degree acolyte in the C.O.E.M.P.A.I.L.O.F.D.O

Part 5 � Epiphany

From Henry
To Father Grinn

dear daddy,
thank you for accepting me back as a menber of the church of evangelical medical prediliction and ischemic love of the dark one. i have a spritual vision , on the vision i saw my self with an eldre serching for a black goat, and inthe vision the goat said to me why are you looking for me where i am not . but that is not the issue , i will send the pictures by tommorow for i am not presently in lagos please daddy ,he is alive this the chance i have benn waiting to prove my belif in him .
thanks from
henry onuora
"in blood "

I can almost smell the trophies, but let�s encourage some more of these bizarre ideas Brother Henry has been having about how and where the Dark One shall be found

Date: Thu, 7 Apr 2005 08:13:36 -0700 (PDT)
From: "Julius Grinn" <Julius Grinn>
Subject: Re: i will send the pictures tommorow..
To: "Onuora Henry" <Brother Henry>

Brother Henry,

I am pleased that you are still one of our flock and I will quickly set to interpreting the pictures when they arrive.

I am intruiged of this vision you speak of, can you tell me more of it? Do you think we are looking for Dark One in the wrong place? We have considered that the Dark One may be now inhabiting the body of an animal but we do not know what sort. Some acolytes do have visions from time to time however this is rare. I want to know if you are one of the gifted few who has this psychic gift so I need you to describe in detail everything that you experienced when you had the vision.

Please contact me immediately Brother Henry as I think this could be extremely important.

Father Julius Grinn.
Elder of the Church of Evangelical Medical Predilections and Ischemic Love of the Dark One,
Sainted Knight of the Scissor, Paper and Stone Trinity

And finally the trophies arrive in Father Grinn�s inbox along with another of Brother Henry�s fantastic visions

Date: Thu, 7 Apr 2005 11:49:54 -0700 (PDT)
From: "Onuora Henry" <Brother Henry>
Subject: this is my vision.
To: "Julius Grinn" <Julius Grinn>

daddy,
thank you for the oppotunity you give to me to trell you in detail my vision, before then i will like to give you in detail the name of the two new acolytes i send to you.the one on black shirt is santo ebguna, the one on yellow polois anthony eze. the first building and the third building are the same the second building is a dawn stair the didnt allow me to go inside the building to take the picture.the people you saw standing with me inthe pictures are my acolytes but i want you to help us by giveing us an office so as to preper our selves for the hunt and ascension.he lives i am a wittness.
coming to my vision ,i saw my self wearing white robe, with an elder,the elder ask me to go and show him that thing that i said i saw the risen one if i am sure of what i am saying then i told him to follow me instead of looking for a human being i saw our selves looking for a black goat the first place we went to is in a market place but we couldont see it then, they directed us to go to a strem that beside the strem we will seea hut , inside the hut we will find him but on getting to the hut we couldnt find him then i said in my vision you the holy o9ne who opens my eyes to every hiding things show me where you are so that i can find you and fulfill my promise to yhe church then i heard a voice that said "you are looking for me where i am not peurify your body and spirit and read the book they told you to read in my holy house and i will show my self to you"
that is my vision.
thanks i hope you chose any of the building so that we can contineu with the hunt.
from henry onuora.
"in blood"

And to follow up an apology for Reverend McCavity so as to ensure everyone is happy. I know I am Smile

From: "onuora henry" <[email protected]>
To: To: "Phil McCavity"
Subject: i have a vision.
Date: Fri, 08 Apr 2005 16:58:00 +0100

dear daddy,
this is the voice of your son henry saying hellow to you , i am soory if my
last mail to you is offending i dont mean it to be offensive i just tell you
what i know about the parcel you said you sent .i didnt receive anything
like that the last time i told you about it you told me not to talk about it
again that it vaxess you if the parcel is remenberd so that is why i made my
comment please this should not bring a gap between you and me i would have
ask you for forgiveness but as you said that forgiveness is for the weak so
daddy, lets forget about the past and grive for the future for it has a very
good thing in stock for us. i have a vision and i have told father grinn
about it, i have also send two buildings pictures to him to chose one, one
is a dawn stair the other one is a one story building, i also send to him
two pictures of my acolytes the two pictures i send to him is not all but i
just want to use it to complete the building pictures i sent to him i will
send the rest pictures of my acolytes when we have an office here in
lagos,Nigeria.
I want to use this oppurtunity to thank you for your effort in making sure
that i belong to the church may he who walks the earth reward you according
to your good deeds. he walksthe earth, i am a living witteness.
thanks, from
henry onuora.
"in blood "

Oh dear, the pictures he has sent are not good enough. They contain disgusting holy images which offend our church!

Date: Fri, 8 Apr 2005 11:05:55 -0700 (PDT)
From: "Julius Grinn" <Julius Grinn>

Subject: WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU ARE DOING????
To: "Onuora Henry" <Brother Henry>

BROTHER HENRY,

DO YOU THINK WE IN THE CHURCH ARE STUPID????? I WAS NOT BORN YESTERDAY BUT IT SEEMS THAT YOU THINK I WAS!!!!!!!

IN ONE PICTURE YOU SENT ME YOU ARE CLEARLY WEARING A CHRISTIAN CROSS AROUND YOUR NECK WHILE YOU YET HOLD OUR INVERTED CRUCIFIX!!!! IN ANOTHER TWO OF OUR NEW ACOLYTES ARE DOING THE SAME THING! YOU ARE WEAK AND FOOLISH AND CANNOT RENOUNCE YOUR CHRISTIANITY AS DEMANDED.

DID YOU THINK I WAS SO STUPID AS NOT TO NOTICE? AS SOON AS I SAW THE PICTURE I COULD FEEL THE FILTHY GRIP OF THE CURSED CHRISTIAN PROPOGANDA GNAWING AT MY SOUL. WHY HAVE YOU DONE THIS? ARE YOU TRYING TO DESTROY THE CHURCH ON BEHALF OF THE CHRISTIANS? REST ASSURED IF THIS IS THE CASE YOU WILL FAIL!

OUT!!!!!!!! YOU ARE EXPELLED FROM OUR CHURCH AND WHEN THE DARK ONE IS FOUND I SHALL PERSONALLY FEAST UPON YOUR BOWELS WHILE YOU, STILL WAKING, STARE INTO MY DEATH FILLED EYES.

IN VENGEANCE AND DISGUST

FATHER JULIUS GRINN

Cue a pathetic excuse from Brother Henry.

Date: Sat, 9 Apr 2005 03:08:32 -0700 (PDT)
From: "Onuora Henry" <[email protected]> Add to Address Book
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Subject: i know what i am doing the cross is not that i am a christian
To: "Julius Grinn"

dear father grinn,
the cross you said i was wearing has got nothing to do with christianity, you would have told me not to wear anything like the cross i only wear it for fun it not that i am a christian the cross i have on my neck have nothing to do with me not renouncing my christianity ,you have to tell me to take another picture and to stop wearing the cross.if it is so tell me and i will take another picture and send to you. this is all i can do , if you pssist that you have expelld me so be it but mind you it is not my fault.
thanks from henry onuora
"in blood "

And a calmer missive now from Father Grinn.

Date: Mon, 11 Apr 2005 13:36:30 -0700 (PDT)
From: "Julius Grinn" <Julius Grinn>

Subject: Re: i know what i am doing the cross is not that i am a christian
To: "Onuora Henry" <Brother Henry>

Brother Henry,

Why does your branch of the church cause us so many problems?

On the one hand you offer us such hope with your vision and possibly finding a goat who is the Dark One as is foretold in the one version of the Necronomicon. Then on the other you hand you offend us mightily, by wearing a Christian symbol. It is almost as if you are testing us!

I am at a loss and must consult the other Elders. Tell us more of the goat you have found so we may judge..

Father Julius Grinn

Perhaps Tunde Okon can see how poor old Brother Henry is coping with his excommunication

Date: Wed, 13 Apr 2005 10:00:12 +0100 (BST)
From: "Tunde Okon" <Tunde Okon>
Subject: Re: thank you for your concern.
To: "HENRY ONUORA" <[email protected]>

Onoura,

What goin on wi mugu grinn? He send you money yet my guy? When you able go Benin City for me pickup money as have job in amsterdam who send moneygram soon

Tunde

I think this translates as �Please Help�

dear tunde,
i send pictures to fatherb grinn but he said that the pictuers are not good that i am wearing a christian cross no money yet ,please help me by telling him that the cross dose not mean that i am a christian.so that he can send the money. i am ready for the money gramm. i hope the benin you are talking of is the one here in nigeria and not the one of cotonue.
thank for remenbering me
from henry onuora.

The sadist in me particularly enjoys this begging email asking for forgiveness and an office

Date: Thu, 14 Apr 2005 05:18:41 -0700 (PDT)
From: "Onuora Henry" <Brother Henry>
Subject: try our branch,this is the last hunt .
To: "Julius Grinn" <Julius Grinn>

dear father grinn,
i and my other acolytes are shading tears becuase of your last mail to us. i am a man to be trusted how do you think that i have not renounce my christianity and still i have massage from the holy one he is my master and lord,he said to me that if you expell me from the church that he will make my country his foot stall by showing me where he is but daddy i want to do it under your mastership i am truelly a beleiver of choronzon, the spirit of marduck is hovering the earth please give us an office and i will lead you to him. the cross i have on my neck i repeat is not of christianity i believe in choronzon because i am a living wittness that he lives.so you want to tell me that all the americas that i see on the television wearing cross era all chris tians .i have nothing else to say just give me a trial and it will convienceyou that i am telling you the truth,give us an office and i will tell you to come to nigeria for the last hunt ,we here are ready for reveange against the christian scums who were laughing at us when we renaounce our christianity.please daddy dont make them laugh at us.
thanks from your faithfull;
henry onuora
"in blood"

I imagine he realises about now that there is no way he is ever getting any money and the past 5 months have been a waste of time

From: "onuora henry" <[email protected]>
To: To: "Phil McCavity"
Subject: i think i have found him.
Date: Mon, 18 Apr 2005 10:57:50 +0100

dear dr mc cavity,
i amnot happy for not have heard from you what have i doneto deserve all
this punishment from you, even if i did something on that is not pardonable
you have to listen to me to know why i did it you are my spiritual director
i dont think that there is something i can do to warrant your current
behaviour but who are my to question you but mind you i cannot do anything
in the church without your consent.
i have to tell you i think i have found him ,in animal form.
thanks from henry onuora
"in blood."

I then send myself this email

Date: Tue, 19 Apr 2005 02:51:42 -0700 (PDT)
From: "Julius Grinn" <Julius Grinn>
Subject: Re: Fwd: i think i have found him.
To: "Phil McCavity"

Rev McCavity,

I must ask you to deal with this for me. At this time as you know I am chasing the leads we have in Abuja, Togo and Johannesburg. Will you please liase with Brother Henry and ensure that he sends us proof of what he has found so I can judge if it is truly Him. As you know, I am growing increasingly impatient to locate Choronzon on earth.

I must remind you that Brother Henry is still on probation for his outbursts so you will need to be sure he is being serious and I will need to see proof that he does not wear a Christian cross. I will leave this to you.

Father Grinn

And forward it to Brother Henry with these questions

Date: Tue, 19 Apr 2005 12:00:27 +0100 (BST)
From: "Phil McCavity"
Subject: Fwd: Re: Fwd: i think i have found him.
To: [email protected]

Brother Henry,

I have spoken with Father Grinn who has permitted me to resume contact with you upon the subject of the Dark One. The purpose of this email is simple and I have three questions.

1) What have you found that you think may be the Dark One?
2) Why do you think this animal is the Dark One?
3) How can you prove to us your faith in the Dark One and the existence of this creature?

You will forgive the brevity of this letter but I am still hurt by some of your earlier suggestions.

Regards

Rev Philip McCavity

Brother Henry now states he is thinking of going it alone with his acolytes and his PHYSICH[sic] power. His delusions have now convinced him that he is actually the Dark One himself.

From: "onuora henry" <[email protected]>
To: "Phil McCavity"
Subject: RE: Fwd: Re: Fwd: i think i have found him.
Date: Fri, 29 Apr 2005 16:29:40 +0100

dear daddy,
i want to tell you something and that is that,i dont think that i need your
help or support in founding the church the insult i have received from the
elders of the church is ok for me .i have every season to beleive that what
i have found is trully the risen one and mind you the next mail you will
receive from me will be an eye opener to you and other elders if i want you
to shear with us the ascension.tell father grinn that this is my massage to
him that the power of finding the r isen one have been collected from him
and has been transfered to an african that is me.'he will never find him
unlees he do what i need.'i am happy to you for sending the book of
necronomicom that is the source of my power to find him.
I AM A CHOSEN WITH PHYSICH POWER.after turning around you all will come
back.
from henry onuora.
'in blood'

But he didn�t answer the questions�

Date: Mon, 2 May 2005 07:32:53 +0100 (BST)
From: "Phil McCavity"
Subject: RE: Fwd: Re: Fwd: i think i have found him.
To: "onuora henry" <[email protected]>

Brother Henry,

Thank you for your email however you don't appear to have answered any of the questions I asked.

1) What have you found that you think may be the Dark One?
2) Why do you think this animal is the Dark One?
3) How can you prove to us your faith in the Dark One and the existence of this creature?

I do not understand what you are saying when you say the power of him is in you as you told us it was in another creature. Please be more precise in your next email and I will pass on your message to Father Grinn.

Brother Henry, I truly hope you have found what we seek and I look forward to your answers and opening our eyes.

"In blood"

Rev Philip McCavity

Again with the goats and visions!

From: "onuora henry" <[email protected]>
To: "Phil McCavity" :
Subject: RE: Fwd: Re: Fwd: i think i have found him.
Date: Mon, 02 May 2005 09:37:05 +0100

mc cavity,
this is my massage to you i am not intrested in your money anymore i have
found him.i mean every word that comes from my mouth. in a mist of one
thousand goats all white i saw a black goat with one of his tooth missing.
thanks this is my second vision.
from henry onuora.

I would dearly love a photo of Brother Henry with a goat

Date: Tue, 3 May 2005 01:01:58 +0100 (BST)
From: "Phil McCavity"
Subject: RE: Fwd: Re: Fwd: i think i have found him.
To: "onuora henry" <[email protected]>

Brother Henry,

I know you are not motivated by money. That is a simple, transient desire and I believe that maybe you are truly faithful. However, you have still not told me if you have found anything or answered any of the questions I have asked. Where is this goat?.

Rev Philip McCavity

Brother Henry is now running out of patience. I would be after almost 6 months�. He decides to grass up Tunde Okon and asks for his pictures back(!)

From: "onuora henry" <[email protected]>
To: "Phil McCavity" :
Subject: RE: Fwd: Re: Fwd: i think i have found him.
Date: Fri, 06 May 2005 11:05:14 +0100

dear mc cavity,
you are making things difficult for your self.what do you want to hear from
me that the goat is in a mountain or in the house, listen , you will later
found out where the goat is ,when you are ready to listen to me ,bet me the
churches you claim to have in southafrica ,in togo,inabuja are all fake. i
want you to understand somthing all this churches are ownd by one man that
is tunde okon,i warn you for the last time,you will regreat every of your
mission here in africa.if you are sure of the Abuja branch of the church
why didnt they want to meet with me ?this is a question i want you to answer
your self. i repeat all the elders of the church are all mugu,that is they
are all fools if you know all the pictures i sent to you please to avoid me
casting the church, send it back to me .
i dont do thing with fools.
from henry onuora.

He then decides to let rip at Father Grinn while asking for his photos back

Date: Fri, 6 May 2005 03:17:45 -0700 (PDT)
From: "Onuora Henry" <Brother Henry>
Subject: Re: i know what i am doing the cross is not that i am a christian
To: "Julius Grinn" <Julius Grinn>

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dear father grinn,
you are a fool at fourty,and you will be a fool for
ever.i am writhing to you with anoyance. i thougth
that you are a man with wisdom but i didnt know you
are a big fool,listen to me i dont do things with
fools .you will never in your life time find
choronzon,and you will regreat comming to africa this
is my massege to you. gray hair is a sign of wisdom
but yours is a sign of stupidity.send back all the
pictuers i sent to you ,we are now independent from
the church of fools,untill you realise your
mistake.you will lern your lesson in a bitter way
soory you are a victim of 419.
thanks from henry onuora.

Tunde Okon is furious at having been grassed upon and unleashes his finest voodoo curse upon Brother Henry

Date: Sun, 15 May 2005 13:40:45 +0100 (BST)
From: "Tunde Okon" <Tunde Okon>
Subject: Re: thank for remenb ering me.
To: "HENRY ONUORA" <[email protected]>

THIS IS OKON. YOU HAVE BETRAYED ME TO GRINN. NOW YOU READ. NOW IT BE DONE, MAN! I am a Voodou witch doctor and curse you with one thousands curses. I have made a Voodou doll of your Internet mail human form and have cast a spell o�n the email owner. You will be cursed for o�ne thousand years, and your soul will hunger forever, unless you unlock the spell by performing a secret deed sealed into the Tanzania stone eyes of the doll.

Curses o�n you. Voodou o�n you. The stone eyes have your soul for eternity. Chicken blood spills and soaks into the fabric, cursing your name.

This is not a joke. The last person who had this Voodou spell cast o�n them is now laying in the hot desert in Zaire with no water, Vooduo cursed snakes now slither through his skeleton and spit venom in his flesh. Curse, so it is written may God have mercy o�n you.

TONGALA GAFULA! So it be done. It is finished. AMEN ZOMAFOOO Ci!

Brother Henry replies he doesn�t believe in this juju and uses some wonderful similies to express this

Date: Mon, 16 May 2005 05:12:33 -0700 (PDT)
From: HENRY ONUORA <[email protected]>
Subject: i will expose you.
To: Tunde Okon <Tunde Okon>

tunde,
you are a big fool,you dont know who i am, that is why you said that you have coursed me.i am greater than a voodoou,you cant do me anything from till next ten years i want you to rain your courses on me it has no effect,your course on me is just like pouring water on a big rock, which you know that it just washing the stone.you cant do me anything, one hundred of tunde cant do me athing.i just want to warn you if i open my mouth to course you you will regreat ever coursing me i am like an angel,and angels are like wind and you cannot hold a wind with your bare hands,i have vow to expose you to farther grinn and that i will do.
from,henry.

It all seems to have gone sour so it�s time for a letter from Father Grinn explaining that we now know he is the 419 fraudster and screaming for righteous retribution

Date: Wed, 18 May 2005 07:48:19 -0700 (PDT)
From: "Julius Grinn" <Julius Grinn>

Subject: Re: i know what i am doing the cross is not that i am a christian
To: "Onuora Henry" <Brother Henry>
CC: "Phil"

Brother Henry,

It is you who is the fool. Father Okon has told us everything about your scheming. He has told us that you are the 419 fraudster and that you are trying to steal from our church to become a rich man and not helping at all with spreading the faith. He says that the acolytes you have recruited are just your friends and that you laughed at our church. WELL LAUGH NO MORE THIEF! We have found Choronzon reincarnated in a goat in Togo and been shown proof that it is indeed the Dark One by Father Okon. I am visiting him shortly to pay him the necessary $100,000 to ensure the Dark One is brought up honourably and able to commence the Scourge.

You are dismissed from our church. Your photograph will hang in our hall of disbelievers and the punishment of humanity will be inflicted upon you TENFOLD for your attempts to steal from our church. I personally will take delight in seeing you sacrificed and skinned still screaming under a flow of salt and plaque. Finally your corpse will be resurrected and you will be made Father Okon's personal sex slave in the body of a woman but with the mind of a man.

We have rewarded Father Okon for the evidence he has provided us with.

Choronzon comes for you.

Father Julius Grinn.

Elder of the Church of Evangelical Medical Predilections and Ischemic Love of the Dark One,
Sainted Knight of the Scissor, Paper and Stone Trinity

And I can�t resist one final prod about the parcel he was expecting and a final warning.

Date: Wed, 18 May 2005 16:04:13 +0100 (BST)
From: "Phil McCavity"
Subject: OUT
To: Brother Henry

Henry,

You are no longer a brother of our church. I too cast you out. Father Okon has told me that you did indeed receive the parcel I sent you and that you have laughed at the gift I enclosed of the Dark book and that you sold the phone and digital camera. I knew this to be the case but waited for you to admit this. I detest you Henry, you are a thief and a swindler who has attempted to defraud our church of money and mocked the Dark One.

Pray that I never meet you Henry or pray that Choronzon finds you first for he would be more merciful than I....

Rev Philip McCavity

And that just about concludes this bait after 6 months. If I get any more responses from Brother Henry I will of course add them to this thread. He seems to have come a long way from the man who wrote asking for money to hold a Christian seminar Laughing

Posted: Sun May 22, 2005 9:47 pm

B R A V O !!!! Very Happy

Brother Henry joins Phil McCavity's Church of the Dark One	View next topic View previous topic