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 Don't give up: Update 22 Jan., lad returns for more slapping

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Juan Freizwidatt
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Joined: 18 Apr 2004
Posts: 19826
Location: Hanging out at In-n-Out


PostPosted: Tue Jan 04, 2005 6:49 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

I have a bait that was getting so boring that I was about ready to dump it. (http://www.419eater.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=29440). My pet was balking at filling out the 29-page Church questionnaire a third time. I decided I didn't want to lose this one until I'd at least gotten him to WU a couple of times, so I gave in on the questionnaire, with a twist. Suddenly this one is really becoming fun again. Laughing

My character has fallen in love with his exceedingly ugly picture, so she went to bat to persuade the person in charge to boost the questionnaire score:

Quote:
Dearest Mike,

I have WONDERFUL NEWS my sweet love!!! I have managed to persuade Brother Freizwidatt to approve you as our agent!!!! The Brother is not a handsome man, and he is much older than I am. Iím afraid that the details of our ďagreementĒ were somewhat distasteful, but the Lord told me to do it and thus I did it willingly in order to help the man I love. Taking Brother Freizwidattís manhood [EDIT - GRAPHIC CONTENT CUT FOR PG-13 RATING] . . . not particularly pleasant, but then I pretended that it was YOUR manhood [. . .] and I felt much better about it, and actually even enjoyed it. I hope you will forgive me for doing with him something which should be reserved only for you, but remember that I did it for you. Fear not, I will never have to do that with Brother Freizwidatt again. I knew of his weakness for that particular activity, and I knew that I could use that weakness to get what we needed. So I did, and it was worth it!! It was Godís will, after all. Praise be unto Him!

Congratulations, my love, you are now officially accepted into our midst. Iím sure that Brother Freizwidatt will contact you shortly but I wanted to be the first to let you know!

I told you that 2005 was going to be a good year for us! We will be together very soon, the Lord has dictated it!


Then Brother Freizwidatt followed up with his version:

Quote:
My Cherished Brother,

Mrs. Percize called upon me this morning and pleaded that I review your Questionnaire one more time. We discussed the questions that had initially caused me to lower your score. She convinced me that some of those questions were open to different interpretations, and therefore could be considered in a different light. I was very struck by the wisdom and boldness of her suggestion. She then got on her knees in front of me and prayed to our Beloved Lord, and as her lips and tongue moved in prayer I felt the rapture overtake me and consume my body with profound joy. After our prayer of rejoicing I agreed with her that those questions should indeed be re-evaluated. After doing so, and recalculating the total, I am delighted to report to you that your score now comes to 302.

Congratulations, my esteemed Brother! It is my most pleasant duty to inform you that you are now considered one of us, a valued member of the Hierarchy of the Church of the Holey Moley. I shall inform the Bishop of this good news today. I know that he will be as delighted as I am, inasmuch as this orphanage project is quite dear to Bishop MacNughetteís heart.

Once again, my heartfelt congratulations to you, for now you truly are my Brother, and through you I have discovered wisdom and talent in my Sister Susan that I had not previously known. I will be sure to rely on her prayerful assistance in the future.


The scammer finally got back to me and he's shocked, but not so shocked that he isn't salivating over the money:

Quote:
Dear Susan,

I am amazed at your disposition towards your assistance in helping to grant the Funds. You shouldn't go to such length in doing bizarres things as such. It is pratctically ungoldy and Unlawful according to the Christian doctrine. You and Bro Juan should beg in supplication to the Good Lord for his mercy and forgiveness. You have done a despictable act unto God and Unto man .

If you would have to condesend so low to give Bro Juan a Blow Job for my sake, then, the Spirit of Carnality reins in you and also Bro Juan who even allowed it. That yoke must be broken by just asking the Perfect Master Jesus to take absolute control of your life and remove all stains spiritually and physically in you and that Jesus should uphold you with his Goodness and upright spirit.

I would await for the Grant and how would this be paid?

Please, try to mend ways with your husband by first subjecting yourself under his divine authority and ask Jesus the Master marriage Counsellor to Counsel unto his heart for your sake.


I have a way to "mend ways" with my husband. A very final way, but that comes in a couple more days. Meanwhile I have to give this clown a slight slap, then teach him about WU modalities since of course I'm sure he hasn't a clue:

Quote:
Listen to me, Michael Asoidu, I donít need you to lecture me with your holier than thou attitude!! Iím hurt and disappointed that you would have the gall to sit there and chastise me and call me ďungodly and unlawfulĒ after all Iíve done for you!!! You seem to be forgetting something here. I have talked to the Lord about this. The Lord has directed me all the way. Iíve spent a lot of time on my knees in the past few days -- and Iím not referring to my time with Brother Freizwidatt (which you didnít need to describe in such graphic terms, by the way!!!!!!!!!). I have prayed for hours and the Lord has spoken to me and guided me.

Just think about it for a minute, okay? The Lord has far too much to oversee for Him to deal with every petty thing that comes up in life. Otherwise there would be no need for the orphanage Ė He would never have let those poor children become orphans in the first place. There would be no need for any charities. The reason we are building the orphanage is that the Lord has enlisted the Church of the Holy Moley in His army, to help him do His work. Well, the Lord told me that he tried to convince Brother Freizwidatt to reconsider your score, but the Brother was obstinate. That is the reason the Lord told me to perform that service, which was NOT a ďdespicable act under God.Ē He knew, as I did, that the Brother has a weak spot when it comes to the oral stimulation of his manhood. I merely did the Lordís bidding to help Him guide the Brother to the correct decision. I am not ashamed of it, though in the future I will reserve that activity for you, okay? And what is wrong with ďcarnality,Ē anyway? The Bible doesnít forbid it. We are allowed to be human and still be righteous! Are you telling me that you want to be celibate, that you donít have physical yearnings? Didnít my picture arouse you at least a little? You are human, arenít you?

So donít go telling me Iím ďstained,Ē okay? I am utterly devoted to the Word of my Lord, and in the past week He has been commanding me as His servant. Everything I have done has been with His blessing. Our blessed Lord has been giving me other advice in how to resolve the problems that are standing in the way and hindering the pure love that you and I are destined to share. I canít say anything just yet, but things are about to improve dramatically.

So relax and donít worry your handsome head over these petty details. The important thing is that things are moving forward, and they are going according to Godís will. Okay?

Yes, the Bishop is the head of the Board and will surely have no problem in swaying the other members. As soon as he gives the word to Brother Freizwidatt, the Brother will give me the go-ahead to send the first payments.

In order to speed things up, you need to give me your full instructions now so that the moment we have the go-ahead, I can immediately send you the grant money. You need to give me your full particulars where it is to be sent and to what name. We normally send money to our charities in foreign countries by a service called Western Union. They have a system whereby money can be wired nearly anywhere. You should check to see if you have an agent in your city. After I remit the funds Iíll send you the ďcontrol numberĒ along with a question and answer, which will allow you to go into the local Western Union office and collect the money. Itís really quite simple and has worked well for us over the years. If you have any questions about how it works, let me know.

In the meantime, I want you to relax and calm down, okay? I expected you to THANK me, not REBUKE me! I was helping you and all I get from you is a religious lecture. Trust me, Mike, I know the Bible as well as you do. I listened to the Lord. Okay?

All my love,
Sue


I'm going to really torture this guy in the next couple of days. And to think I almost let this one go......

_________________
"SATAN WILL KILL YOU . BECAUSE YOU ARE A DAUGHTER OF MERMAID"

"HOW DOES IT SOUND TO YOU THAT ANOTHER PERSON IS DEALING WITH YOU AND ASK YOU TO CONTACT ANOTHER PERSON AND NOW YOU SAID THAT YOU WANT TO DEAL WITH THE OTHER PERSON WITHOUT THE KNOWING OF THE PERSON THAT ASK YOU TO CONTACT THE OTHER PERSON"

I apologize again that I will lick the dust from your sandals

Sand Timer x4: Shorty
Safari x 16:
US lad w/Capone: ( Golden Pith ) Black Ribbon
- ATL>DC>ATL>Vegas>Seattle>ATL>San Diego>LA>ATL>Seattle>ATL>WY>ATL>Aspen>ATL (21K+ miles, $11K+ expenses)
Shorty w/bohigal:
- Lagos>Abidjan
Random lads:
- Douala>Korup; Lagos>Cotonou>Parakou; Cotonou>Niger border; Cotonou>Pendjari>jail in Tanguietta; Asaba>Abuja; Accra>Tamale
Purple Flower Goat Jack Boot Whip

Last edited by Juan Freizwidatt on Sat Jan 22, 2005 8:02 pm; edited 11 times in total
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Juan Freizwidatt
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Joined: 18 Apr 2004
Posts: 19826
Location: Hanging out at In-n-Out


PostPosted: Tue Jan 04, 2005 8:06 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Just got another email from the lad. What a bastard. This is the first time a lad has ever rejected any of my female characters. I guess he doesn't find my pictures attractive enough. (I did pick a rather plain looking woman figuring that was a lot more believable than some hot babe.) Too bad he's going to have to profess his undying love before Sue will give him the control number. Feminine blackmail!

Quote:
Dear Susan,

I did not chastise you in any way. I just don't like the manner things are going cause, I have prayed but received no news from the same Lord about you. God works in different ways.

Sister Susan, I just need to be straight with you: Our relationship cannot work mainly because I am not led in the spirit to continue with you. Truly, I wasn't moved by your picture cause, when I was in the world I saw more than that [what an insult!!!]: Truly, I have subjected myself to purity in it's simplest way and understanding that, everything is vanity especially when it comes to the issue of women.
I know you will ask if I will eventually not marry? yes I will when I find someone comfortable I can share my life with.
Do not take my words as an insult but as a way to seek for solace or penitence with the Good Lord Jesus.

I will and always adore you as a creation from God Jehovah (With Respect I mention that Name). [Oh sure, you thieving bastard!]

Western Union is operated in my area with First Bank Nigerian Plc. You can use my name Micheal Ikem to send while you keep me posted with amount sent.


Unfortunately Sue is really psychotic and isn't about to let go of her fantasy. She has a busy night ahead, what with a husband to murder and all:

Quote:
I will not listen to your words of doubt. The Lord has decreed that you and I are meant to marry, you simply havenít accepted His word yet. I will not take offense at what you just wrote, even though you were cruel to say you have seen prettier women than me, because I know that your doubts will be cleared in a matter of days. You will not need to worry about me being bound to another man. Soon I will be free, and entirely yours. So take heart, my sweet man! This IS the Lordís will, it IS going to happen as he dictates. We cannot stand in His way, all power be unto Him. Amen.

Just to give you a taste of what will soon be all yours, I am attaching a very special picture, just for you. Please do not show this to anyone!!!! Soon, my love, you can have all of what you see, to use in any way you desire. I am sure that THIS picture will move you, even if the last did not. Just think about what pleasures you will soon have. I will do anything you desire, my love. I will be your love slave forever.

I donít think I will be able to write to you tomorrow. I donít expect Iíll be coming to work. I spent my lunch hour today praying in the Sacristy and the Lord told me in very certain terms that the time has come, that I am to do His bidding tonight. So, I expect that I will be quite busy tomorrow, but if I can possibly get away Iíll write you just to let you know how things turn out. I have no fears, I trust in the Lord. He will guide me and all will work according to the plans He unveiled to me. Our future is about to begin, my love!!!!!!

All my love forever and ever and ever until eternity,
Sue

_________________
"SATAN WILL KILL YOU . BECAUSE YOU ARE A DAUGHTER OF MERMAID"

"HOW DOES IT SOUND TO YOU THAT ANOTHER PERSON IS DEALING WITH YOU AND ASK YOU TO CONTACT ANOTHER PERSON AND NOW YOU SAID THAT YOU WANT TO DEAL WITH THE OTHER PERSON WITHOUT THE KNOWING OF THE PERSON THAT ASK YOU TO CONTACT THE OTHER PERSON"

I apologize again that I will lick the dust from your sandals

Sand Timer x4: Shorty
Safari x 16:
US lad w/Capone: ( Golden Pith ) Black Ribbon
- ATL>DC>ATL>Vegas>Seattle>ATL>San Diego>LA>ATL>Seattle>ATL>WY>ATL>Aspen>ATL (21K+ miles, $11K+ expenses)
Shorty w/bohigal:
- Lagos>Abidjan
Random lads:
- Douala>Korup; Lagos>Cotonou>Parakou; Cotonou>Niger border; Cotonou>Pendjari>jail in Tanguietta; Asaba>Abuja; Accra>Tamale
Purple Flower Goat Jack Boot Whip
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Eight
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Joined: 11 Sep 2004
Posts: 8711
Location: UK


PostPosted: Tue Jan 04, 2005 8:57 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Juan, I love where you have taken this one! Laughing He deserves the fattest slap ever for continually rejecting her yet trying to get $ out of her at the same time. Twisted Evil

_________________
Mortar

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Juan Freizwidatt
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Posts: 19826
Location: Hanging out at In-n-Out


PostPosted: Tue Jan 04, 2005 10:12 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Thanks, eight. You were a big help in moving this one forward. Your rewrite of my opening love letter was perfect. I have to wonder if a sexier picture would have made any difference? I find it surprising that he's being so standoff-ish. What has he got to lose by playing along with her? It's not like he really expects her to knock on his door...

I can't wait to dangle the $10,000 WU transfers in front of him, then yank the rug out. Stay tuned. Twisted Evil

_________________
"SATAN WILL KILL YOU . BECAUSE YOU ARE A DAUGHTER OF MERMAID"

"HOW DOES IT SOUND TO YOU THAT ANOTHER PERSON IS DEALING WITH YOU AND ASK YOU TO CONTACT ANOTHER PERSON AND NOW YOU SAID THAT YOU WANT TO DEAL WITH THE OTHER PERSON WITHOUT THE KNOWING OF THE PERSON THAT ASK YOU TO CONTACT THE OTHER PERSON"

I apologize again that I will lick the dust from your sandals

Sand Timer x4: Shorty
Safari x 16:
US lad w/Capone: ( Golden Pith ) Black Ribbon
- ATL>DC>ATL>Vegas>Seattle>ATL>San Diego>LA>ATL>Seattle>ATL>WY>ATL>Aspen>ATL (21K+ miles, $11K+ expenses)
Shorty w/bohigal:
- Lagos>Abidjan
Random lads:
- Douala>Korup; Lagos>Cotonou>Parakou; Cotonou>Niger border; Cotonou>Pendjari>jail in Tanguietta; Asaba>Abuja; Accra>Tamale
Purple Flower Goat Jack Boot Whip
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Richard Head
Master Baiter


Joined: 28 Jun 2004
Posts: 120
Location: The land down under. (SE-Qld GMT +10)


PostPosted: Tue Jan 04, 2005 11:21 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

@Juan You should start baiting him again, but with another, but sexier character and see if he changes his tune. You can then bring Susan back in as an extremely jealous woman who found out about the other woman. Twisted Evil

_________________
Quote:
that belongs to One of our late Customer MR. Schmuck,from Beverwijk,Netherlands,who died with his family in a plane crash


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Eight
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Posts: 8711
Location: UK


PostPosted: Tue Jan 04, 2005 11:41 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Juan, it was nothing, but thanks anyway! Embarassed I don't think Susan was that plain, but the really hot babes do seem to work best with these shallow lads, for some reason! Rolling Eyes

I wonder whether he really is looking for a g/f and she just isn't his type. Or maybe he has seen too many chick flicks - he wants to emigrate but thinks he'll need to live with his beloved to satisfy Immigration that the relationship is for real, and therefore is looking for someone he could bear to play the part of devoted lover with? Or maybe he is just a lad and I should stop trying to find logic in an intellectual desert? Rolling Eyes

I like Richard's idea a lot. If the other woman is another Sister in the same church, that would a) explain how Susan found out about her (girly gossip in the sacristy) and b) add some opportunities to slap the lad for being hypocritical when he protested about not wanting Susan because it was against his religion. Twisted Evil

_________________
Mortar

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Juan Freizwidatt
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PostPosted: Tue Jan 04, 2005 11:41 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

@Richard,
The only problem is that I did this one as an ASEM and neglected to even keep a copy of his original scam letter.... I don't think a second ASEM would work.

He will have some explaining to do on a different matter. The ASEM was addressed to "Brother Chukwa." Rather than assume that name, the lad simply said that Chukwa was sick and that he was taking over his duties. I think Brother Chukwa might just reappear and make the Bishop question what's going on!

ON THE OTHER HAND, perhaps after Sister Percize is jailed for murder, her far sexier assistant may just take over... I think maybe the modalities are open to reevaluation here. Thanks for the input!

_________________
"SATAN WILL KILL YOU . BECAUSE YOU ARE A DAUGHTER OF MERMAID"

"HOW DOES IT SOUND TO YOU THAT ANOTHER PERSON IS DEALING WITH YOU AND ASK YOU TO CONTACT ANOTHER PERSON AND NOW YOU SAID THAT YOU WANT TO DEAL WITH THE OTHER PERSON WITHOUT THE KNOWING OF THE PERSON THAT ASK YOU TO CONTACT THE OTHER PERSON"

I apologize again that I will lick the dust from your sandals

Sand Timer x4: Shorty
Safari x 16:
US lad w/Capone: ( Golden Pith ) Black Ribbon
- ATL>DC>ATL>Vegas>Seattle>ATL>San Diego>LA>ATL>Seattle>ATL>WY>ATL>Aspen>ATL (21K+ miles, $11K+ expenses)
Shorty w/bohigal:
- Lagos>Abidjan
Random lads:
- Douala>Korup; Lagos>Cotonou>Parakou; Cotonou>Niger border; Cotonou>Pendjari>jail in Tanguietta; Asaba>Abuja; Accra>Tamale
Purple Flower Goat Jack Boot Whip
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Richard Head
Master Baiter


Joined: 28 Jun 2004
Posts: 120
Location: The land down under. (SE-Qld GMT +10)


PostPosted: Wed Jan 05, 2005 12:19 am Reply with quoteBack to top

@Juan I think you're onto something there. Susie gets arrested for murdering her husband with a rusty dull spoon. Her gorgeous assistant stumbles onto the correspondence with Mike. She takes his side, and feels that Susie was unfair, yada, yada, yada. Laughing The two of them fall in love, but Susie gets out of jail on bail, or on a technicality. She finds out about the gorgeous assistant, and Mike. Fireworks fly. Twisted Evil

_________________
Quote:
that belongs to One of our late Customer MR. Schmuck,from Beverwijk,Netherlands,who died with his family in a plane crash


http://www.geocities.com/champ_productions

Nigeria Mortar
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Borstal Boy
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PostPosted: Wed Jan 05, 2005 12:45 am Reply with quoteBack to top

Juan - great writing, very entertaining! Looking forward to reading the "uncut" version ... Embarassed

_________________
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Please remove the hand of a monkey inside your pot before it becomes a human hand.
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Juan Freizwidatt
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PostPosted: Thu Jan 06, 2005 4:38 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

This is one strange lad... Confused Yesterday I wrote to him from the Bishop's email account to tell him the sad news about Sue's husband, and to dangle the $25,000 carrot in front of him:

Quote:
My Dear Son,

Thank you for your very kind words and holy sentiments. We have obviously done well in choosing you as our partner in doing Godís work.

I find myself torn today between joy and sorrow. Joy because last night the Church Board approved my request to include the orphanage in this yearís budget, allowing us to proceed immediately. We have $15,000 to send right away, and $10,000 to follow once the construction is underway. But our happiness is tempered by profound sadness because of a terrible tragedy which befell the household of my dear secretary, Mrs. Percize today. The almighty Lord, in his infinite but inscrutable reason, has chosen to call his son, Ron Percize, Susanís husband, to the Pearly Gates and into the splendor of heaven to spend eternity with his Maker. This was totally unexpected and leaves us all with heavy hearts, for Ron Percize was dearly loved among the congregation of our Church and his passing leaves a terrible void. We cannot question the Lordís decisions, but we wish nonetheless that Ron had not been called at such a young age. Needless to say, Mrs. Percize is profoundly grief-stricken and inconsolable with her sadness, for she and her husband were very close. Our hearts go out to this fine, noble, and upstanding woman in her torment of grief.

Much as I have long wished for the orphanage project to begin in all haste, I now must wait for a while until Mrs. Percize feels able to return to work and resume her duties here. All of the coordination as regards financial arrangements with our partners around the world is handled by Mrs. Percize, so we must delay the start until she feels strong enough to return.

A few more days, my son, and you and I will move forward, marching arm in arm in the Army of God to save the children!

Oremus:
Icon plei Dominos Beddadon ucanne, aivinne agginn, soderr
Amen.

Yours in the Lord,

Bishop Wimberley MacNughette
Director and Spiritual Leader
Church of the Holy Moley
Edna, KY


Meanwhile Sue wrote and gave him the inside scoop:

Quote:
My dearest lover!!

I have the most wonderful news!!! IíM FREE!! Iím no longer bound to another man!! Ron is dead! Gone!! Theyíve already carted his lifeless body away! Oh, joy!!! This is simply too wonderful! No divorce to trouble you, my sweet. No, Iím now a WIDOW! How perfect is that? Quick (nearly instantaneous!), simple, and very, very final!! The blessed Lord told me this would work, and He was right! He has freed me to be available to the man I love. PRAISE THE LORD!! You and I can now spend eternity together without any interference!

I have ever so much to tell you but Iím afraid I have no time. I must run now and deal with all the problems that come from an unexpected death. I hope I can spare some more time for you tomorrow, I just donít know yet. I wonít be able to get back to work for a few days, but Iíll write from home whenever I can get away from all the people trying to ďconsoleĒ me.

Oh, my precious Mike, how I love you! Now itís just you and me!!

Forever yours,
Sue


The lad replied to the Bishop with his condolences:

Quote:
Dear Esteemed Bishop,

It is with Great and sad heart that I write to you about the death of Susan's Hubby. May the Good Lord Give Susan the heart to bear this unwarranted situation.

Death is an inevitable entity: It must come to all and sundry. The Most important thing is what we are presently before death comes that matters: I mean our relationship with Jesus that would determine where our rest of place would be.

I Hope he was a dedicated person: Remember that, Not all followers of Christ are Christlike. [Is he referring to Sue, by any chance?]

The Funds can come at your desired time and moment. All to the Lords Glory. [Eye on the prize!]

Till I hear from you.
Mike


Then he wrote back to Susan. Here's where it gets strange:

Quote:
Dearest Susan,
I sincerely sympathize with you with the death of your husband Ron. May the Good Lord Grant Him Peace In Eternal Bliss.

You would need to take your time before you can talk about having another relationship. It is Mandatory that your mourn your husband for at least a year.

On my side, I have a lady that I am presently going out with; though, still under investigation about her character and goodwill behaviour.

I cannot marry you and would be improper for me to lie to you.God Will give you your perfect Man in due time.

The Bishop wrote me to Inform me that the grant has been approved worth $15,000usd. That your absence would require the delay in sending it to us. I believe that, because I have informed you that, I cannot marry you may hinder you from transfering the money cause, the Bishop said that, you are in charge of the Transferage of funds.

I wouldn't mind if you use your position to stop the funds from coming to us. [WTF??????] It doesn't really matter: what is most uppermost is for me to state my mind and clear it from guilt.

If the funds would still come, it would come in as much as God's Is willing for it to come.

I would be your friend in as much as you would be my friend. Friends have roots and fibres that Love doesn;t have: Friends extends more than love cause, it is believed that, friends are like siblings with mutual Understanding. Friends endures time and moments.

I am and would still be your friend if you like.

LoL [????????????]
Mike


This morning Brother Freizwidatt wrote, unaware that the lad already heard the news. I'm setting up Sue's eventual arrest for murder:

Quote:
Since you would have no way of hearing the terrible news, it is my sad duty to inform you of a tragedy which has struck our church. Namely, the untimely death of Mrs. Percizeís husband. I am attaching a copy of the report which appeared in this morningís newspaper. We hope that Susan will be back with us soon since we rely on her for so many important tasks in the Church. The Bishop has given me the go-ahead to send the first funds to you, but I will need Mrs. Percize to handle this. If by any chance she is not ready to resume her duties here by early next week, I will find someone else who can coordinate with you. Life must go on, even in sad times, so we will move ahead very soon.

Please let me know if you have any questions. Until Mrs. Percize returns I will attempt to handle her day to day tasks in her stead.

Yours in the Lord,
Juan Freizwidatt


Image

Finally this morning, Sue continues her psychotic raving:

Quote:
Dearest Lover,

I have only a minute to write. Things are not going right and Iím getting worried. The Lord assured me that there would be no problems and everything worked exactly as He said. The rat poison was easy to dilute into Ronís beer and it worked incredibly quickly. But now the police are suddenly acting all suspicious and asking me LOTS of questions. I really donít like the direction they seem to be going in. They seem to suspect that I may have had something to do with Ronís ďheart attack.Ē They donít really have anything to go on but theyíre getting awfully pushy and I just donít like it. But I still trust in the Lord, and He told me that this was the key to my future with you, so I have to believe everything will turn out alright.

Maybe in your country widows canít marry for a year, but this is the United States and I can marry you just as quickly as you can get your lovely butt over here, or I can get there. Iím NOT going to listen to your nonsense about having you having a girlfriend or not being able to marry me. It goes against Godís will. Remember? Our Lord arranged for all this to work in this manner!! I wonít find a perfect man, Iíve ALREADY found a perfect man! You!! So Iím NOT LISTENING to your whining!! Iím covering my ears and singing LA LA, LALALA LALA LA!!!!!!!!! So there! You WILL marry me, and soon. If we donít obey Godís will, we will suffer the torment of eternal hell. And God himself has commanded this. So there.

Iíll write just as soon as I can, okay lover??

All my love for all eternity,
Sue


I realize this is a long stretch of correspondance, but I'm posting it because I've never run into a lad quite this strange. He's got $25K hanging right in front of his nose, and he's STILL not willing to play along with Sue's love fantasy. He's willing to walk away from the whole thing rather than to do like all the normal lads, and pretend to be in love. Confused Sometimes he's hot for the cash, other times he seems disinterested. I'd think he was just lazy except he did fill out the 29-page questionnaire form, twice. I wonder if he's really as religious as he pretends to be (though he obviously ignores the commandment about stealing). My plan was to blackmail him into professing his love for Sue by having her hold out on giving him the control number until he wrote a gushing love letter, but it looks like that's a waste of time so I think I'll go to plan B and have her arrested, and her job taken over by a much younger, much more attractive woman.

_________________
"SATAN WILL KILL YOU . BECAUSE YOU ARE A DAUGHTER OF MERMAID"

"HOW DOES IT SOUND TO YOU THAT ANOTHER PERSON IS DEALING WITH YOU AND ASK YOU TO CONTACT ANOTHER PERSON AND NOW YOU SAID THAT YOU WANT TO DEAL WITH THE OTHER PERSON WITHOUT THE KNOWING OF THE PERSON THAT ASK YOU TO CONTACT THE OTHER PERSON"

I apologize again that I will lick the dust from your sandals

Sand Timer x4: Shorty
Safari x 16:
US lad w/Capone: ( Golden Pith ) Black Ribbon
- ATL>DC>ATL>Vegas>Seattle>ATL>San Diego>LA>ATL>Seattle>ATL>WY>ATL>Aspen>ATL (21K+ miles, $11K+ expenses)
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- Lagos>Abidjan
Random lads:
- Douala>Korup; Lagos>Cotonou>Parakou; Cotonou>Niger border; Cotonou>Pendjari>jail in Tanguietta; Asaba>Abuja; Accra>Tamale
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Fawana_Nyner
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Joined: 05 Jan 2005
Posts: 9


PostPosted: Thu Jan 06, 2005 7:05 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Quote:
. I wonder if he's really as religious as he pretends to be (though he obviously ignores the commandment about stealing).


I think this man may have some serious religious beliefs and is finding this very distasteful but in greed, he may have convinced himself the "Lord" will understand, he has to make a living right? You should probably exploit this because guilt over religion is painful and long lasting. He may be able to justify this to a degree but from the tone of his emails, he is may be having sleepless nights worrying about his soul, he did change his tune about his love remember, he couldnt go there. USE IT!

If this guy IS having true Christian worries, maybe this bait could push him over the edge and get him out of the business once and for all.

It makes me laugh that some religious folk find "offences" involving love, sex and relationships more distasteful than stealing. This alone deserves a good slap.
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Juan Freizwidatt
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PostPosted: Thu Jan 06, 2005 9:45 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

He's definitely spooked now (and suddenly he's engaged) Very Happy

Quote:
Dear Susan,

I read with dismay your present situation and Positon. The Newspaper column was really bad in the information that led to the death of your Husband Ron. The Agony and pains he must have gone through before finally given up the ghost.

If this is your hand work by poisoning, then, you need to re-examine your head, brains and emotions. Does this mean that, emotions can make you deny the Lord Jesus or crucify Him once more?

I am not yur type. I beg you to inform the Bishop about your characters and emotions which overwhelm you so much and makes you misbehave. Prayer with the Esteemed Bishop can help you out.

Please, do not do this such act again. The Lord Will forgive you if you confess to him in your chambers personally or you inform your congregation or betterstill the Esteemed Bishop.

I am engaged and cannot marry you even at the risk of loosin the funds. I will always be your friend.
Please, take time to email me something good and scriptural. If you insist on profane words, I would disengage from further contact to you.

Love
Mike

_________________
"SATAN WILL KILL YOU . BECAUSE YOU ARE A DAUGHTER OF MERMAID"

"HOW DOES IT SOUND TO YOU THAT ANOTHER PERSON IS DEALING WITH YOU AND ASK YOU TO CONTACT ANOTHER PERSON AND NOW YOU SAID THAT YOU WANT TO DEAL WITH THE OTHER PERSON WITHOUT THE KNOWING OF THE PERSON THAT ASK YOU TO CONTACT THE OTHER PERSON"

I apologize again that I will lick the dust from your sandals

Sand Timer x4: Shorty
Safari x 16:
US lad w/Capone: ( Golden Pith ) Black Ribbon
- ATL>DC>ATL>Vegas>Seattle>ATL>San Diego>LA>ATL>Seattle>ATL>WY>ATL>Aspen>ATL (21K+ miles, $11K+ expenses)
Shorty w/bohigal:
- Lagos>Abidjan
Random lads:
- Douala>Korup; Lagos>Cotonou>Parakou; Cotonou>Niger border; Cotonou>Pendjari>jail in Tanguietta; Asaba>Abuja; Accra>Tamale
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Fawana_Nyner
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Joined: 05 Jan 2005
Posts: 9


PostPosted: Fri Jan 07, 2005 12:22 am Reply with quoteBack to top

He wants something scriptural?

Exodus 20:15 Thou shalt not steal

and with that remind him before he gets to pissed at you for fooling him, he needs to remember this passage, my personal favorite.

"Do to others as you would have them do to you" (Luke 6:31).

If he is just playing with the religious stuff, it wont matter, but if he is religious, this outa give him some food for thought and as I said earlier, maybe help him get out of the business. You never know.

Hmm, here I was thinking this was public service but apparently as our friend Elwood Blues said "We're on a mission from God"
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Juan Freizwidatt
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PostPosted: Fri Jan 07, 2005 12:53 am Reply with quoteBack to top

You're right, Fawana, I need to use his professed religious beliefs against him. But I'm going to save that for the final burn, which will, if he is truly religious, leave him so completely shamed that I hope he'll change his thieving ways. I'm probably too optimistic, but then again this is the first lad I've ever run across who has repeatedly indicated his willingness to walk away from the money. Perhaps he really is conflicted. We'll see, but I won't play my trump card for a couple more weeks. He has to ride the WU roller coaster first. And when I do burn him, he won't know he's been played for a fool. It's going to be a realistic slap from the very disappointed Bishop...

_________________
"SATAN WILL KILL YOU . BECAUSE YOU ARE A DAUGHTER OF MERMAID"

"HOW DOES IT SOUND TO YOU THAT ANOTHER PERSON IS DEALING WITH YOU AND ASK YOU TO CONTACT ANOTHER PERSON AND NOW YOU SAID THAT YOU WANT TO DEAL WITH THE OTHER PERSON WITHOUT THE KNOWING OF THE PERSON THAT ASK YOU TO CONTACT THE OTHER PERSON"

I apologize again that I will lick the dust from your sandals

Sand Timer x4: Shorty
Safari x 16:
US lad w/Capone: ( Golden Pith ) Black Ribbon
- ATL>DC>ATL>Vegas>Seattle>ATL>San Diego>LA>ATL>Seattle>ATL>WY>ATL>Aspen>ATL (21K+ miles, $11K+ expenses)
Shorty w/bohigal:
- Lagos>Abidjan
Random lads:
- Douala>Korup; Lagos>Cotonou>Parakou; Cotonou>Niger border; Cotonou>Pendjari>jail in Tanguietta; Asaba>Abuja; Accra>Tamale
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Fawana_Nyner
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Joined: 05 Jan 2005
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PostPosted: Fri Jan 07, 2005 1:33 am Reply with quoteBack to top

Yah, I have been accused of being a polyanna too. I know it is not good to humanise these people by thinking they remotely think like I would. I am just thinking that logic says he would play the game and fall all over you to get you to send the money instead of taking the opportunity to preach and risk loosing the hit.

I am going to enjoy seeing how this one plays out. Best of luck.
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Juan Freizwidatt
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Location: Hanging out at In-n-Out


PostPosted: Fri Jan 07, 2005 5:22 am Reply with quoteBack to top

Upping the pschotic quotient, Susan now accuses the scammer of being the one who is crazy. (It's always the lad's fault, right?!):

Quote:
Dearest Mike,

Just what in the hell is wrong with you?? What are you babbling about Ė ďneed to reexamine your head,Ē ďdeny the Lord Jesus,Ē ďCrucify him once more,Ē ďI am not your type,Ē ďI am engaged.Ē What nonsense!! How can you talk like that after all weíve meant to each other, all Iíve done for you? Do you think I would have done this if it werenít for you?

You have a serious problem, Mike. You need to sit down and reevaluate yourself. Youíre shifting with the winds and turning your back on all your promises.

But itís okay, Iím not going to get angry with you. Iím going to pray to the Lord and ask Him to straighten you out, because youíre obviously very confused. Itís not your fault you canít seem to understand. Obviously youíre not listening to your Lord, and youíre somewhat delusional. Thatís the only way I can explain your suddenly deciding youíre engaged after you first said you didnít even have a girlfriend, and later told me how much you loved me and wanted to father my children. Maybe youíre just drinking too much? Anyway, I know better. Youíre not engaged, there is no other woman besides me. If there were, the Lord would take care of her the same way he took care of Ron. itís going to be okay, so relax and just let the Lord guide you. Okay? Sometimes I think you worry too much.

Listen, Iíll be back to work Monday. Weíll take care of business and you can start working on the project. The Bishop must be going crazy now that everything is in place and weíre not yet moving ahead. Letís get that going, and after that we can get your head straightened out and start planning the wedding. Okay?

All my love for all eternity,
Sue

_________________
"SATAN WILL KILL YOU . BECAUSE YOU ARE A DAUGHTER OF MERMAID"

"HOW DOES IT SOUND TO YOU THAT ANOTHER PERSON IS DEALING WITH YOU AND ASK YOU TO CONTACT ANOTHER PERSON AND NOW YOU SAID THAT YOU WANT TO DEAL WITH THE OTHER PERSON WITHOUT THE KNOWING OF THE PERSON THAT ASK YOU TO CONTACT THE OTHER PERSON"

I apologize again that I will lick the dust from your sandals

Sand Timer x4: Shorty
Safari x 16:
US lad w/Capone: ( Golden Pith ) Black Ribbon
- ATL>DC>ATL>Vegas>Seattle>ATL>San Diego>LA>ATL>Seattle>ATL>WY>ATL>Aspen>ATL (21K+ miles, $11K+ expenses)
Shorty w/bohigal:
- Lagos>Abidjan
Random lads:
- Douala>Korup; Lagos>Cotonou>Parakou; Cotonou>Niger border; Cotonou>Pendjari>jail in Tanguietta; Asaba>Abuja; Accra>Tamale
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modality101
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Joined: 27 Jan 2004
Posts: 2
Location: NJ


PostPosted: Fri Jan 07, 2005 9:38 am Reply with quoteBack to top

@Fawana_Nyner

The lads also have a popular quotation taken from Philippians 4:19
Which Says:....... And my God shall supply all your needs according to his riches in Christ Jesus
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straitjacket
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PostPosted: Fri Jan 07, 2005 11:51 am Reply with quoteBack to top

Juan - thanks for posting this, I have really enjoyed it! Smile I did almost rofl out loud at work reading it today, had to control myself.. Smile There was a muffled uncontrolled explosion of mirth when I read this, though.. Smile

Quote:
The rat poison was easy to dilute into Ronís beer and it worked incredibly quickly.
tommi
Not quite a Newb


Joined: 26 Nov 2004
Posts: 42


PostPosted: Fri Jan 07, 2005 12:04 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

@Juan, excellent, really enjoyed this one, your freaking this guy out Twisted Evil
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Disgruntled_Girl
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Joined: 09 Dec 2004
Posts: 26
Location: Texas


PostPosted: Fri Jan 07, 2005 2:31 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

you need to re-examine your head, brains and emotions
Shocked OH when a mugu writes that it's on!
I am not yur type
Ouch! A denial from a mugu??!
I am engaged and cannot marry you even at the risk of loosin the funds.
Wait - what? Since when have they EVER cared about... that doesn't make sense!
If you insist on profane words, I would disengage from further contact to you.


Did.... did... did he just slap you?

This is getting good.

_________________
...
Time's a wasting that could be spent better wasting time!
...
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Juan Freizwidatt
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Posts: 19826
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PostPosted: Fri Jan 07, 2005 11:54 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Well, this bozo didn't respond today so I guess I'll crank up the insanity meter some more. I hope he's getting nervous.

Quote:
I'm SO sorry that I didn't write to you earlier! You must have been sick with worry, after going so long without hearing from me. But donít worry, I haven't forgotten your request that I send you frequent reminders of how much I love you!!

It's been absolutely crazy here. I'm REALLY upset with these damn policemen!! They're giving me such a hard time!! I never expected to have to put up with this nonsense. This wasn't supposed to happen. It was supposed to work just the way you and I planned it when we first talked about getting rid of Ron so you and I could marry. They keep asking me questions, and lots of times they ask me the same question a dozen different ways, and at different times. I think they're trying to trip me up somehow. They seem to suspect me for some reason. They even got the judge to give them a search warrant, and this morning they absolutely ripped my house apart!! I have no idea what they think they'll find! I wasn't stupid enough to leave the poison lying around, after all!! I remembered you telling me how important it was to destroy the evidence right away, so of course I did! Anyway, they boxed up a lot of things and carted them away, and I don't know what will come of all that. I'm really getting very angry about all this intrusion into my life. It's getting in the way of my enjoying my freedom and moving forward with our wedding plans.

I hope they'll leave me alone for the weekend. I'm actually looking forward to going back to work on Monday to get away from all this.

I'll write when I can, sweet Mike! Don't worry, I haven't forgotten you! There's no way I'll ever do that! I remember your promises to me, and mine to you. And youíre right, we will be happy ever after, very soon!

All my love for eternity,
Sue

P.S., I hope you're enjoying my picture! I get SO hot whenever I look at yours. I can't wait until you get here!

_________________
"SATAN WILL KILL YOU . BECAUSE YOU ARE A DAUGHTER OF MERMAID"

"HOW DOES IT SOUND TO YOU THAT ANOTHER PERSON IS DEALING WITH YOU AND ASK YOU TO CONTACT ANOTHER PERSON AND NOW YOU SAID THAT YOU WANT TO DEAL WITH THE OTHER PERSON WITHOUT THE KNOWING OF THE PERSON THAT ASK YOU TO CONTACT THE OTHER PERSON"

I apologize again that I will lick the dust from your sandals

Sand Timer x4: Shorty
Safari x 16:
US lad w/Capone: ( Golden Pith ) Black Ribbon
- ATL>DC>ATL>Vegas>Seattle>ATL>San Diego>LA>ATL>Seattle>ATL>WY>ATL>Aspen>ATL (21K+ miles, $11K+ expenses)
Shorty w/bohigal:
- Lagos>Abidjan
Random lads:
- Douala>Korup; Lagos>Cotonou>Parakou; Cotonou>Niger border; Cotonou>Pendjari>jail in Tanguietta; Asaba>Abuja; Accra>Tamale
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Eight
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PostPosted: Sat Jan 08, 2005 8:14 am Reply with quoteBack to top

Juan, you have created every lad's worst nightmare - a bunny boiler with money! Twisted Evil He must be having a horrible time trying to decide whether it is worth playing along with someone as nuts as Sue just to get the money. Twisted Evil

And if I may take the liberty of suggesting a new move? How about getting Sue's psychiatrist in on this, to ask the lad for his insights into Sue to assist in her treatment. Sue has no doubt told the psychiatrist all about her fiance, but the shrink has doubts about whether she is self-deluding and whether the lad is sufficiently aware of her "issues" to provide the right support for Sue. The psychiatrist will, of course, be wealthy and a very hot babe! This could give you a chance to grill him about his feelings for her, and maybe find out what he is playing at, and to transfer his love interest to the psychiatrist. Plus, of course, it ties up yet more of his time, and there will no doubt be a questionnaire or two needed as well!

_________________
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Frankydoom
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Joined: 24 Sep 2004
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PostPosted: Sat Jan 08, 2005 10:47 am Reply with quoteBack to top

@Juan - just wanna say great character ure playing - makes me think lol - cant wait for the next move Sue is gonna do
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Juan Freizwidatt
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PostPosted: Sat Jan 08, 2005 4:00 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

@eight: Fantastic modality! Thanks for the idea, I will indeed use it. Sue will be arrested next week after the lad goes to WU, and I think now that the court will hire a sexy woman psychiatrist to work with her since she will be considered incompetent to stand trial. The psychiatrist will, of course, be highly skeptical of everything the lad say, preferring to believe Sue's version of the story.... Wink

I can draw from real life on this one. Many years ago I was stalked by a completely psychotic woman who had been a classmate when we were in college. When I spurned her advances she went on a rampage. Shocked She was arrested and sent to the psych ward of the local hospital, where she convinced her (female) psychiatrist that I had gotten her pregnant! That doctor put me through hell before finally accepting the truth. I'll use the same approach on my pet... Twisted Evil

_________________
"SATAN WILL KILL YOU . BECAUSE YOU ARE A DAUGHTER OF MERMAID"

"HOW DOES IT SOUND TO YOU THAT ANOTHER PERSON IS DEALING WITH YOU AND ASK YOU TO CONTACT ANOTHER PERSON AND NOW YOU SAID THAT YOU WANT TO DEAL WITH THE OTHER PERSON WITHOUT THE KNOWING OF THE PERSON THAT ASK YOU TO CONTACT THE OTHER PERSON"

I apologize again that I will lick the dust from your sandals

Sand Timer x4: Shorty
Safari x 16:
US lad w/Capone: ( Golden Pith ) Black Ribbon
- ATL>DC>ATL>Vegas>Seattle>ATL>San Diego>LA>ATL>Seattle>ATL>WY>ATL>Aspen>ATL (21K+ miles, $11K+ expenses)
Shorty w/bohigal:
- Lagos>Abidjan
Random lads:
- Douala>Korup; Lagos>Cotonou>Parakou; Cotonou>Niger border; Cotonou>Pendjari>jail in Tanguietta; Asaba>Abuja; Accra>Tamale
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Juan Freizwidatt
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PostPosted: Sun Jan 09, 2005 5:40 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

It's the weekend so my lad is taking some time off, not to mention trying to avoid any unnecessary contact with my increasingly psychotic character. Time to turn up the heat even higher and make her REALLY delusional. This will help next week when it's WU time....

Quote:
Dearest Mike,

Oh, Mike!!! Iím SO happy you called me last night!! It was SUCH a wonderful treat to hear your sweet voice!! I knew you would fall in love with me and everything would be just perfect!!! Iím thrilled that you love me so much and I just canít wait until you come here! What a brilliant idea you had, telling the Bishop that you need to meet in person to discuss the orphanage project! What a clever excuse to come visit me! And of course no one will question your staying with me during your visit. We just wonít tell anyone that youíll be in my bed instead of the guestroom! Weíre going to be so happy together, my lovely man!

Just as soon as I get to work tomorrow Iíll take care of the transfer by Western Union. The faster we get this going the faster you can come to see me.

I LOVED your fantasy about the brussel sprouts and cream Ė I canít wait until we can do that in person! Youíve made me so happy, Mike! Thank you again for being such an important part of my life.

All my love for all eternity,
Sue

_________________
"SATAN WILL KILL YOU . BECAUSE YOU ARE A DAUGHTER OF MERMAID"

"HOW DOES IT SOUND TO YOU THAT ANOTHER PERSON IS DEALING WITH YOU AND ASK YOU TO CONTACT ANOTHER PERSON AND NOW YOU SAID THAT YOU WANT TO DEAL WITH THE OTHER PERSON WITHOUT THE KNOWING OF THE PERSON THAT ASK YOU TO CONTACT THE OTHER PERSON"

I apologize again that I will lick the dust from your sandals

Sand Timer x4: Shorty
Safari x 16:
US lad w/Capone: ( Golden Pith ) Black Ribbon
- ATL>DC>ATL>Vegas>Seattle>ATL>San Diego>LA>ATL>Seattle>ATL>WY>ATL>Aspen>ATL (21K+ miles, $11K+ expenses)
Shorty w/bohigal:
- Lagos>Abidjan
Random lads:
- Douala>Korup; Lagos>Cotonou>Parakou; Cotonou>Niger border; Cotonou>Pendjari>jail in Tanguietta; Asaba>Abuja; Accra>Tamale
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