When an idiot says an attorney will be necessary...

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Posted: Wed Jun 20, 2018 7:25 pm

^^I'm surprised the lad only contacted one of the ""potential clients".

A quick exchange between Lad and Ben.

Ben (referring to Josson's last email):

Quote:

As I said, we cannot move until he gives us the go-ahead. He sometimes gets confused on this point. I will jave my office contact him before the end of the week.

Lad:

Quote:

I will advise that the best thing to do is for your office to write him today because he has clearly said it that if the invoice is approved you will do the needful so if your office waste time about to contact him then it will still allow him to feel that your office is not satisfy with the bill so as I said he is only confused now based on haven't get approval from your office. As I said the ball is in your court now because if you approve it today we can get the money tomorrow then move forward as it dey hit now we don't need to waste time before his mind change.

Looks like Ben won't be contacting Josson before tomorrow or the next day.

Posted: Wed Jun 20, 2018 10:27 pm

He contacted the other client too, but that character's a bit more senile, so not much has happened. I pretty much alternate between asking if Katherine is my family, a nurse, or restarting the entire thing. The other character has had a lot more interesting conversations. I'll post any interesting tidbits later. Continuing from the last message:

Quote:

Good to hear back from you Mikey,
First I want you to understand that the amount in the account is $10.5Million and not Billion, secondly we are not stealing from your brother because the record here shows that the money is won through online Lottery which is part of supporting the elderly people, and I just checked very well and see that you are actually the beneficiary of this money and Wallace name is just on the record as your family member

So congratulations you are the rightful person to claim this money

I am doing this favour because I don't want the bank to close the account now so better it is good that I help you to get your money back as soon as possible.
Your name is on the file that's why I could see your details to message you
Reply so that we can plan how to claim the money
Katherine

My response:

Quote:

Interesting, and I do not remember applying for this lottery. Is this from when I visited Pensacola to meet with my friend Steve? And did Wallace sign me up for this lottery, or was it Otis, or somebody else? Or maybe one of my children or grandchildren did it as a Father's Day gift! How kind of them! This is all very exciting so I need to plan what I will do with the $10.5 Trillion dollars that have been gifted to me. Whoa, that's a lot of money! Since you are a professional and are very smart about all of this, do you think I should invest my money in the ice cream sandwich business? But also my nephew Brian is running a technology startup in a city called San Francisco. He is doing something with healthcare, but i don't understand the technology behind all of it. This technology is all very confusing anyway. That's right! But who is the bank official in charge of this account anyway? Something is rotten in the state of Denmark. And I will be hearing from you soon about your favorite ice cream sandwich flavor. It will be great to get to know you better.

I hope I'm getting the lad kind of off script. The response:

Quote:

Hi Mike I am happy to help you with this transaction, I am in charge of the account but I will have to talk to a lawyer here who will do the legal papers to help us claim the money to your account over there, remember I requested that you will reward me when we transfer the money to your account.

I can advise you on what to invest the money into if you allow me.
Reply back so we can plan forward, I invited to chat with you so accept my invitation
Katherine

Boring...

Quote:

Oh I also know a lawyer here at the senior center who has helped me with lots of things, and I used to know a lawyer named Freddy who lives in Wisconsin. We were friends when we both worked with the same real estate company long ago. Have you ever been to Wisconsin? His parents owned a sandwich shop that was really nice. They had the best bread. You can't have a good sandwich without good bread. Speaking of sandwiches, you never answered my question about ice cream sandwiches.

Now here's an actually interesting response:

Quote:

Mikey you are very lively person I must say, you can't use lawyer in the States to do this transaction because we are dealing with issue in Ghana and here is West Africa so I must get a lawyer here to take care of it.
I honestly enjoy vanilla ice cream and I like Sandwich too
let me send you my photo so that you can know who you are talking with in picture.
We can chat on hangout Google if you want
awaiting your reply
Katherine

Good to know. I will definitely inquire more about ice cream later. My response:

Quote:

I am glad for your response. But the computers here at the senior center are old and cannot use your new technology. Let us use email. I do not have my picture with me. So who is this lawyer in Ghana? Let me meet them. And we can discuss this deal here or in Ghana. Does your lawyer like ice cream sandwiches?

Their response:

Quote:

Okay Mike we can be talking on email but you are in the US and the lawyer is here in Ghana, West Africa so don't worry I will talk to the lawyer and tell him what to do, then I will inform you what ever he needed from you to be able to do the work, of course he will charge you some legal fees but I will let you know

They never did say if the lawyer liked ice cream sandwiches. Oh well.

Quote:

But why does the lawyer have to be in Ghana if the bank account is in Benin? Why not use a lawyer in the US? This reminds me of when my friend George was going through a divorce. He lived in Wichita, and the divorce took a long time. So many lawyers everywhere. But he had the best Lawyers, and it went well. We had ice cream sandwiches Together with Wallace a few years ago when we all met up in Las Vegas. Las Vegas is a great city. Lots of good hotels, lots of good food, lots of good gambling. Have you ever played roulette? Here's a word of advice: always bet on black. Once you're done with the case you should go to Las Vegas and celebrate with your husband and friends. You do have a husband, right? It's not proper for a woman to do all this herself. Besides Hillary Clinton. She's awesome. But even men need to be married too. Do you like Hillary Clinton? I met her once at a party, but I'll tell you about that later. Boy she can drink!

The lad isn't going as off-script as I would like, but they are definitely reading everything.

Quote:

Mike the account is in the bank where I work in Ghana and not Benin, so know a good Lawyer here who I trust can do the job very fast for us to claim the money. hope you understand?

Of course I don't understand.

Quote:

I believe in doing face to face business with all of my clients. When I worked in the insurance industry I travelled to lots of places to give clients the best service. Once I went all the way to Honolulu to meet with a client named Paul. He was nice and rich, but a hippie. He wore flip flops and sandals to our meeting to buy travel insurance. So when we met in the hotel lobby, it had to have been about eight in the morning. I had a coffee and a croissant, and a few minutes later Paul arrived with a suitcase. Anyhow, that was a great trip. But I heard that Honolulu is on fire now. Have you ever been to Hawaii?

Their response:

Quote:

That's great, I have not travel outside my country before, if you can come to Ghana then you are welcome

Travel? Sure!

Quote:

It will be hard to travel for me because staff at the senior center will worry. But if you cover my plane ticket and will pick me up at the airport, then I can go meet you. I am not old enough to not be able to travel. Just like Hollary Clintan.

Nothing after that. I'm guessing the lad stopped emailing for the day, or they are rubbing their two brain cells together trying to figure something out. Remind me to ask later if the lad's lawyer likes ice cream sandwiches.

Posted: Thu Jun 21, 2018 10:16 pm

Sorry for the double post, but the lad finally gave me the lawyer's email address so we can discuss shipping ice cream sandwiches over there. The lad was skeptical at first, but once I told them we had special refrigerated boxes we could ship through DHL, things started to improve. Kathryn's been pushing that character to start sending information, but we're going around in circles a bit. My other character is a bit senile and seems to think that her mother is his daughter. Very Happy

Posted: Fri Jun 22, 2018 12:51 pm

Meanwhile Josson is silent.

BP office told Josson that they have the invoice and would get it reviewed asap

BP Office told the lad that they are waiting for josson to approve the expenditure.

Josson can't approve an invoice that has not been reviewed and submitted for approval by his trusted counsel now can he?

Delays Delays Twisted Evil

Posted: Fri Jun 22, 2018 2:38 pm

This is from the "lawyer" account:

Quote:

Good morning Mr Mikey
It is a pleasure to read from you, Katherine have told me about you and of course the issue of the money help and claim for you, I asked her to send me your basic information so that I can setup a case file with your name then we can move forward to the next stage, I will give you further procedure once I receive your details.

I actually interested in the ice cream Sandwich business if you are serious about that. I can handle the project for you if you want me to be part of it, of course I like Vanilla flavor and I don't mind if you can send it to.me.
Awaiting to read from you.

Barr. Koffi Appiah

"Kathryn Howard" is being boring right now and asking for my name and such... I'll stall and tell more long stories about my friends while I pursue the ice cream sandwich angle. Any suggestions?

Posted: Fri Jun 22, 2018 2:41 pm

Kofi sent this a couple of days ago. So no hurry, then.

Quote:

Good morning Barr. P.
I am still expecting response from your office about my submitted invoice.

Good news! Ben's office has verified the invoice.

To Jos and Kofi.

Quote:

The invoice for fees from Mr. Kofi has been verified and we await your approval. Barring any unforeseen circumstances we see no reason for this payment to be made no later than early next week.

Posted: Sat Jun 23, 2018 6:23 pm

Did Josson misread or misunderstand the email he was sent? He is old and a tad bit senile you know

Quote:

Barrister Kofi,

I understand Mr Pierce's office has approved and processed payment for your invoice to begin the legal works required. I am sure that can not proceed until Monday? What are the next steps?

Posted: Mon Jun 25, 2018 2:51 pm

Our lad is getting a tad anxious.

Quote:

I am still waiting for your response about what Lawyer should answer Josefus based on his below last message to lawyer, advise me what to tell him

Ben's condescension starts to show itself, just a little.

Quote:

Good morning. I hope your weekend went well. Mine certainly did.I can see that you have not been doing this for very long so I will advice you this time. Tell Josefus the same thing my secretary told Kofi. Tell him that my office is waiting for approval to release the funds.

Posted: Mon Jun 25, 2018 4:29 pm

Of course he is anxious and Josson might just be a tad confused...
From our idiot

Quote:

Good day Mr Josfus,
I am sure your weekend went very well, I got your mail and I am surprised that you said you are sure that the money have been processed and paid to me, the last message that was sent from Barrister Pierce office said that they have verified the invoice and awaiting your Approval to effect the payment early this week which I am yet to read where you have approved the payment.
I will forward the message to you in case you missed it.
So automatically we are expecting your Approval so that we can move forward to the next step.
Regards
Barrister Koffi

My reply....

Quote:

Yes the invoice and payment has been approved. Please get to work and tell me what the next steps are.

our idiot

Quote:

Okay thanks and I will update you
Barrister Koffi

Posted: Tue Jun 26, 2018 5:58 pm

This is one hungry lad.

To Kofi.

Quote:

It would seem that Mr. Wilkerson is in error as he has yet to contact this office in the matter of approving this payment. He does tend to be a bit forgetful so we will send him a reminder in the next day or two.

From the Kat.

Quote:

I am still waiting to hear from you so that I can update my co workers because everyone is in waiting mode.
Please do me well to reply my last message, we are all expecting to get the cash today if possible so that we can take the man to the next level.

Ben's reassurance and a slight wrinkle.

Quote:

We're still waiting for Josefus to give the go-ahead. He forgets sometimes while firmly believing he did what he forgot to do. No worries, we'll get in touch with him. We always do.

In the meantime, my friend at the bank says there are some new laws that are making it more difficult to move money around and says that she needs at least three receiving accounts to make her plan work. Can you do that?

Posted: Wed Jun 27, 2018 4:02 am

Quote:

Dear Josfus,
I got message from Mr Perce office that they are still waiting for you to properly approve the payment. they said you need to write their office on the matter of the approval so please if there is something you forgot to do in terms of Approving the payment please do that as soon as possible so that they can do the payment because we have limited time about this transaction.
Please do the needful immediately
Regards

Barrister Kofi

Well Josfus did not hear from his attorney nor could he reach him...but he "tried"...

Quote:

I guess I am a bit confuse. I had to leave a message for my attorney, but they told me last week that the invoice was approved for payment.
I am waiting to hear back from them to clarify.

Posted: Wed Jun 27, 2018 6:11 pm

the lad...

Quote:

Mr Josfus.
Yes you have to officially message your Attorney office and tell them you have approved the payment because they only verified the invoice and they don't have the power to approve the payment that's what I understand.
so please address their office officially and tell them you have approved them to go ahead with payment and that's what they are waiting for.
Barrister Kofi

my confused character

Quote:

I got an email from my Attorney office telling me the invoice and payment has been approved. I am waiting for them to clarify what the problem is.

Posted: Thu Jul 12, 2018 4:33 pm

Ben went incommunicado and the lad blew a fuse.

Quote:

This is very shameful of you, you collected common 2,100 to destroy work that can pay over $50,000 let's see how it goes because the drama has just started

and

Quote:

Shame on you, I have seen all you told Josef just because of common $2.100 poverty will kill you, hope you say some guys stop working with you, how can anyone work with a wicked greedy idiot like you(pot meet kettle)
Bastard I will deal with you

Finally, Ben's ever-helpful secretary responded.

Quote:

Dear Ms. Howard,

We read your email with some measure of confusion. Was there someone in our law office with which you had some dealings? Our confusion stems from the fact that your name is not registered on any of our client lists and no one in our office recognises your name. We did notice that you sent your email to another email address in addition to ours and perhaps is is that person with whom you have some issue. Whatever the case, we wish you well and will be happy to help in any way we can. Depending on the service we can render, we can arrange for payment either hourly with retainer or by the case.

Sincerely,
Clara

Posted: Thu Jul 12, 2018 8:53 pm

I need to update this thread have had some interesting back and forth with these idiots

Posted: Tue Jul 17, 2018 7:30 pm

From the lawyer.

Quote:

So you guys are claiming that you have made payment to me? can you confirm this information to me because Mr Wilkerson have been accusing me that I have been paid which obviously you know that you haven't pay me any dime, confirm this claim with proves else I will consider your office as fraud and not real law office.
Thanks and awaiting your swift response

Five days later, the secretary gets around to responding.

Quote:

We have made no such claim. Please refer to our previous email message wherein we notified you that we were awaiting approval from our client.

In future, we will thank you to maintain proper decorum when enacting any communications with this office.

The lad make a demand.

Quote:

Who is in charge to make payment on behalf of Mr J. W. transaction with Barr. K.?

To which the secretary makes this most satisfying respond.

Quote:

Unless you can demonstrate some legal need and/or authority to receive the information you are requesting of us, we are unable to comply with your request due to the rules of attorney/client privilege.

Posted: Thu Jul 19, 2018 4:57 pm

The lad is still pissed and hurling insults.

Quote:

Bro stop deceiving yourself with your fake law firm you are a greedy scammer and not a lawyer but don't worry am already working on you at the background... you will see the result soon..your greed and wickedness will send you to where you belong...let's see how it goes..$2,100 that you eat will deal with you...

But Clara keeps her cool.

Quote:

Mr. Pierce is not in the office at this time but I will forward your message to him when he returns.

In the meantime, Ben's secretary reaches out to Jo.

Quote:

We have been awaiting your approval for the release of these funds as per our POA agreement. If you grant us this approval, we will gladly release these funds as soon as Mr. Pierce returns to the office.

And Jo gives approval.

Quote:

Thank you for clarification. I thought these were approved. You know I confuse easily. Yes approved. Thank You

Barr K. is releaved to be "vindicated".

Quote:

Clarification from your Attorney, thank God I have been vindicated

And Kat is suddenly good with things.

Quote:

It's okay, I have seen the truth about all this confusion(oh no you hasn't)
Now am fine thanks

So, now the next bit of fun ensues.

From Ben's secretary.

Quote:

As you may know, Mr. Pierce is temporarily out of the office. But he instructed me to ask if you would like to make the payment transfer or you would like to have me do it for you, should this situation present itself. I am not well versed in this sort of thing but will assist in whatever you choose as well as I can.

Posted: Thu Jul 19, 2018 5:14 pm

Let the games continue

Quote:

Klara,

I appreciate you taking that for action. Sorry for the confuseion. I thought this was already handled. As you know my uncle is in his final days, he and I were very close and I am pre occupied with that. I do not want this to wait further.

Thank You

Posted: Thu Jul 19, 2018 9:41 pm

Good old Kofi

Quote:

Mr Josfus I appreciate your effort to resolve this confusion please can you please give me your phone number?
Barr. Koffi

Josfus "Lenny" Wilkerson gives his standard reply...

Quote:

Barrister Kofi,

Nothing has changed since the last time you asked. I can certainly give you my phone number but I am extremely hard of hearing. Phone calls do not go well. I started losing my hearing several years ago and took some computer classes at the senior center so that I could still communicate with friends and family. A phonecall will just make things more confusing and frustrating.

Well I guess Lenny won't be bothered Sad

for now

Quote:

OK I understand
Thanks
Barr Koffi

Posted: Fri Jul 20, 2018 4:16 pm

Jo is going through a rough patch and asks Clara for assistance.

Quote:

I appreciate you taking that for action. Sorry for the confuseion. I thought this was already handled. As you know my uncle is in his final days, he and I were very close and I am pre occupied with that. I do not want this to wait further.

So she offers sympathy and offers to help. What could possibly go wrong?

Quote:

You have our sympathy during this trying time for you and your family. I will see what I can do to make this payment for you.

And she reaches out to Barr K.

Quote:

Today Mr. Wilkerson engaged my assistance in making this payment to your office and, although I am not well versed in these procedures, I have agreed to help him. Can you please tell me after what manner you and Mr. Pierce decided to have this payment to be made?

ETA: So the lad is not following the plan and asks for Western Union payment instead of bank transfer. Well THAT should go through without a hitch.

From Barr. K.

Quote:

Please you can do Western Union money transfer to my office which is very fast and easy for instant pickup(Um, not really). I veill provide you payment details as below

Receiver's Name:
[Fake name/mule]

Address: 14 Airport Road,
City: Accra
Country: Ghana

Add security question and answer as below

Test Question: Color
Answer: Blue

When you transfer itth n you can send me Transfer details like sender's name and address with MTCN number.

Posted: Mon Jul 23, 2018 4:03 pm

Another option could be that Klara simply sent a check to the chamber address on the INVOICE > Smile

You know how most invoices in legitimate business are effected Smile

Posted: Tue Jul 24, 2018 4:43 pm

^Interesting idea.

But Ben returned to the office just in time to chop the lad's dolla.

Quote:

Our office does NOT effect payments via Western Union, MoneyGram or RIA because they are notorious for creating no paper trail and, therefore, are easily exploited by criminals. I thought my secretary was aware of this policy, but I was obviously mistaken. As a result, I am taking personal responsibility for this case for the foreseeable future.

Our office will be happy to send payment to your office via bank to bank transfer. Please provide the bank account details for the account you personally use for your legal practice. Be aware that we will not transfer moneys to the account of any third parties.

He then reaches out to the lad on a more personal level.

Quote:

Just what in Hell is wrong with you? I can scarcely believe what I am reading in your emails! Whether you believe it or not, I do have a well respected legal practice that demands my attention. And sometimes that practice involves emergency situations. I'm sorry I was not able to hold your hand while I was called away to deal with one such emergency but that does NOT justify your lack of trust and patience. On top of that, you put my law practice in jeopardy by instructing my secretary, in my absence, to send money through Western Union!

If you want your payment, you will provide a minimum of three bank accounts, one of which needs to have either your barrister character's name or the name of his "law practice" attached. Before you went full retard on me, I would not have imposed this condition. Think of it as you punishment for behaving like a complete twit.

Regards

Posted: Tue Jul 24, 2018 11:53 pm

Ok so....
In between MR Perce beating up on this scumbag...I sent him this message...

Quote:

OK so the payment has been made? Now what is your excuse for not doing your work?

and received this curious reply Shocked

Me thinks someone has found us here

Quote:

Ask your Attorney if the payment has been made
Thanks Master baiter

Posted: Wed Jul 25, 2018 4:28 am

Damn Google.

ETA:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sPbjPOgRtyA

Posted: Wed Jul 25, 2018 2:18 pm

tired to play dumb but...oh well

Quote:

My understanding is that it has. So when can I expect you to finally complete your work?

lad

Quote:

What work do you expect me to complete now?
Thanks Master Baiter

JW

Quote:

Your work. What are you talking about?

lad

Quote:

I have discussed with Baiter Mr P to do the job
Okay thanks Master Baiter

JW

Quote:

What are you talking about. Why are you speaking gibberish? You get my money and then you want to act a fool?

Posted: Wed Jul 25, 2018 3:36 pm

the lad's reply

Quote:

Hi Master Baiter, sorry Wilkerson your Lawyer xter will do the job for you
Thanks one love in the game let's play on

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