I Will Like To Be Friend With an Ewu Like You

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Posted: Wed Jan 10, 2018 7:20 pm

This lad popped into google hangout out of the blue with a confusion of insults and happy talk and I “recruited” him to join me in my successful scamming business. We didn’t get all that far but I got a solid 3 months of entertainment out of him…until he got into the email of ANOTHER lad who had suffered the wrath of my Evil Attorney. I was able to convince him I was another scammer screwing with a scammer (I think) so he’s still ripe for more abuse.

There are some interesting conversations about lads and their emails issues and the role of the police in their world.

Note: all of the initial Igbo phrases translate into things like “owner” and “leader”, I suspect he thinks I’m a boss-man scammer. Certainly an interesting way to start a relationship…

PART 1: African Weird

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Lad: Hello are you dead or alive Ewu onye ala

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Me: what?

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Lad: Ewu
are you dead

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Me: of course not
who's ewu?

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Lad: U

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Me: nobody ever called me that before, what does it mean

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Lad: Did you know the meaning onyeala di ka gi

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Me: it sounds like some kind of food. is it african?

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Lad: ok Onye ala

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Me: i looked that up, it's not a very nice thing to say
who are you?

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Lad: Were u look am go
Bia Nwaokem

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Me: there's nothing the matter with me and you're not making any sense
do i know you?

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Lad: You will soon die

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what the hell?

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Lad: because ur are an onye ichie

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Me: and exactly what does that mean?

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Lad: go and look up

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Me: it says an important person
what the hell are you talking about?

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Lad: Fuck

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Me: now you're just being rude
what do you want? and i'm not going to die any time soon

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Lad: What is your full name

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Me: why do you want to know?
if you're messaging me you already know it anyway
my email is my name and how did YOU get it anyway?
well?
where did you go?

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Lad: I was just wondering if you are a male or female

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Me: male, so what?
and why did you threaten me and tell me is was going to die

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Lad: XXXXX is a name for male

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Me: xxxxxxxxx is male
why do you care?

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Lad: Were are you I will like to be friend with an Ewu like you.

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Me: first you threaten me and now you want to be my friend?
you don't make a lot of sense
i looked up ewu
did you call me a goat?

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Lad: Haha

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Me: very funny

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Lad: Did you know what you are

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Me: being insulted by you, that's what i am

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Lad: NO
You are I.B.B
Go and look up

(I never did find out what that meant.)

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Me: that could mean anything
why don't you explain it to me?

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Lad: No

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Me: well then i guess i won't know what it means

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Lad: I want you to look up as u always do

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Me: like i said, it's just three letters that don't mean anything

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Lad: Okay ONYEALA

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Me: why are you insulting me?
at least my email doesn't start with "ass". that's pretty funny

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Lad: HAHAHAHAHA
YOU NOW NO THE MEANING OF ONYEALA

(So it means “ass”? Beats me.)

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Me: i know that you're just being an ass

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Lad: Then you are asshole
Were the hell is your wife and children
fuck man

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Me: what's your problem?

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Lad: Were the hell is your wife and children

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Me: none of your business

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Lad: Were the hell is your wife and children

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Me: time for me to go to lunch, maybe i'll talk to you later if you behave yourself

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Lad: Udo di my man
Go and come back

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Me: what does that mean, udo di?

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Lad: *DELETED*
FUCK U

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Me: what's your problem?

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Lad: Hello
My problem is u
I have a busi

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Me: what did i ever do to you

Posted: Wed Jan 10, 2018 7:20 pm

PART 2: Business

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Lad: FUCK U
I HAVE BUSINESS

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Me: why are you being this way to me. i don't know you
what about your business

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Lad: Do u have account

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Me: what do you mean

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Lad: DO U HAVE A BANK ACCOUNT

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Me: of course i do, why do you care

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Lad: HEY
confirm your identity

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Me: hey your self, what are you talking about and what do you want? why are you asking all these questions

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Lad: MOTHER
FUCKER
U NEVER DIE

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Me: why are you talking to me this way?
never die?

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Lad: Hello guy how are you

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Me: okay
what do you want after insulting me?

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Lad: I want to do a business with u but I don't know you too well

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Me: and why do you think i would do business with you?

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Lad: Beceuse you are Africa forming America

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(Let’s see if I can rope him into my clutches…)

Me: no, i am american working with africa, you have it backwards
but i suspect we play the same game

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Lad: No
we are not the same
because I don't form to be America okay

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Me: no, you're a small time african
that's easy to see

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Lad: Then fuck with ur Big fool America

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Me: so you don't want to do big business with an american?
what kind of fool is that?

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Lad: Ur are not an america

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Me: believe what you want but that doesn't get in the way of business

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Lad: Ur are just a bull shit *DELETED*

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Me: who makes more money than you

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Lad: hahahahaha
Money

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Me: money that i think you don't have
which is why you're looking for a partner

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Lad: Well
Money I don,t have
Are you in GH

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Me: like i said, you're just small time
hawaii

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Lad: Wow

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Me: and i bet you're in benin, just like all the rest

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Lad: Am in Nigeria
Lagos State

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Me: like i said, small time

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Lad: Oh my big time friend
Well there is a lot of thing to do in hawaii and make big money

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Me: a lot of tourist emails, a lot of old fools

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Lad: Even drugs

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Me: not my thing

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Lad: Why

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Me: too dangerous, too easy to get busted

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Lad: Are u afraid to die
Are u afraid to die

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Me: tough to spend my cash if i'm dead

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Lad: Well you are right

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Me: why do you keep talking about dying?
makes no sense

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Lad: because am not afraid to die but am afraid to die poor
I don't care how I make the Big SH*T

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Me: no need to deal with drugs and the cops for me, i've got the game down

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Lad: That is cool

Posted: Wed Jan 10, 2018 7:21 pm

PART 3: All About Email

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Me: you have to deal with loads of crap email addresses and get no work

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Lad: If am there

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Me: stealing them from other africans and getting no cash

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Lad: if am in hawaii I will prefer Drug

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Me: won't work, the chinese own the drugs here

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Lad: So I will get the Big BAG

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Me: my bag is plenty big without the danger
no need to get killed by the chinese
we do the same work, i'm just better at it

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Lad; Here in Lagos I get just $2000 or $3000 monthly but it is too small for A *DELETED* like me

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Me: haha, i make more than that almost every day

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Lad: Okay

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Me: you must not be very good
like i said, you get crap emails to work with
and your crap always goes into spam and never gets seen

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Lad: That is the problem we having here

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Me: i know, i get thousands of them, all in spam
mine doesn't go there

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Lad: Even to get the crap email is very hard to get now.

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Me: too many of you africans sitting in cafes doing the same thing
where do you get your emails?
looks like you steal from each other

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Lad: I buy them some times

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Me: and others buy the same ones, that's why i get thousands of message
your seller is selling you crap

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Lad: Am just at ma home I don't Go to any way
And to get the crap is very hard now

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Me: why?

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Lad: I don't know

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Me: too bad for you, i have my own sources
good ones

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Lad; If you buy just 3 to 5hr it will be closed

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Me: closed? what do you mean?

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Lad: The email will no longer login again

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Me: interesting
i don't get mine that way, no need to get into their boxes

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Lad: I mean the email account we use here in sending bulk email

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Me: ah, it gets closed by the host. makes sense
no surprise

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Lad: Are u happy for that shit

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Me: not my problem

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Lad: I know

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Me: i send smaller amounts and never have a problem
and i never go to spam

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Lad: how many

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Me: a few dozen at a time, all my emails are good so all get delivered, that way the domain doesn't shut me down
that's why you get closed, sending to money and too many fail
and you all send the same formats

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Lad: Your are right

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Me: lottery, inheritance, fbi
sad

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Lad: What domain do you use in sending email

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Me: my own
gmail and outlook are too smart now
and i don't do it like you so my host won't shut me down

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Lad: Because you have Current email and I don't have?

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Me: because i have good addresses so don't get all the undeliverables that you do. that's one of the things that gets you shut down, you know that
plus, you're sending thousands at a time, right?

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Lad: No just 100 or 200
But the problem is That I don;t have good emails

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Me: because you buy them from other scammers
i get good ones

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Lad: Your are right

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Me: plus there's a million of you all doing the same thing
why not get a real job?

Posted: Wed Jan 10, 2018 7:21 pm

PART 4: A History Lesson

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Lad: Do u no the history of Nigeria

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Me: not really, i know you sell a lot of oil

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Lad: Is just a country were the people in power take politics as family business

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Me: politics?

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Lad: They take all our Money to them self and their family

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Me: in taxes?

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Lad: No money to Go to the University
And after u suffered to go to the university, after that no job

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Me: so scamming makes more money?
even though everyone is doing it?

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Lad: I just Do it to survive
Too much hustle to survive

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Me: but there are businesses and restaurants and stores that hire people, you have to start somewhere or just scrape in the dirt
and never get anywhere

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Lad: No I can't do such job

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Me: why not?

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Lad: The salary is too low

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Me: less than starving being a scammer?

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Lad: like ten thousand Niara monthly

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Me: ouch
that's nothing

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Lad: That is why I can't do it

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Me: you have to start somewhere so why not do both?

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Lad: To avoid Dying of hunger

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or do you want to be a criminal forever?

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Lad: No

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Me: so what is your plan?

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Lad: I Need your help so I can get some good amount of money and Start up a business of ma own

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Me: we'll talk about that later, i have to get to work
i'll think about it but you'll need to have something i need

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Lad: What did you need?

Posted: Wed Jan 10, 2018 7:22 pm

(The weekend passes.)

PART 5: The Woes of Africa

Lad: Hello

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Me: hello
isn't it late where you are

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Lad: Am at home

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Me: it's mid afternoon here

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Lad: Yes is also mid night here

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Me: busy sending emails to suckers?

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Lad: Okay your busy now

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Me: it is the middle of the day so i'm working, yes

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Lad: okay

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Me: how many people are you talking to that you think you will get money from?
Just curious

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Lad: Just two

Me: ouch
and not much money i bet

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Lad: yeah

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Me: i see the emails and it's always something small like $65 or less
not much of a way to make a living

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Lad: takes to long to move to bigger money

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Me: Yeah
glad i don't have that problem, i can start big

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Lad: So will you help me

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Me: why would i do that?
what's in it for me

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Lad: Okay u mean
You are not going to help me

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Me: i mean why should i help you? give me a reason

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Lad: 1 am very poor just manage to survive
I need to help my family
I need to make big money and start up a business

(Blah, blah, blah…typical lad.)

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Me: if you're making 2000 dollars a month and workers are making 10000 naira it sounds like you've got lots of cash

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Lad: Not every month
Like for this month now
all the people am talking just run for there life and I only have two people now

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Me: why did they run

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Lad: May be they found out that am lying to them

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Me: only if you did it wrong

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Lad: That is my problem now

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Me: and you don't know what you did to mess it up

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Lad: I don't know how
I lost some of their numbers and emails

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Me: what? you lost them? what kind of scammer does that?

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Lad: Here in Nigeria The Police search your phone and if there anything your phone then your are i big problem

(I wonder if his comments about the police are true. It’s not like he needs to make it up.)

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Me: search your phone, how do they do that?
i don't understand what you mean

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Lad: We youth of Nigeria
We are having a big problem
no job and no freedom

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Me: so the police just come up to you and grab your phone?

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Lad: Yeah

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Me: crazy

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Lad: Once they see you looking good they must search your phone

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Me: that's because there are a millions scammers. must be your biggest industry after oil

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Lad: and if you refuse they will shoot you or even kill you

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Me: that can't be true, just shoot you?

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Lad: You won't believe me

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Me: double crazy
you should leave

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Lad: If you go to the internet now you will see End SARS

(That would be the Special Anti-Robbery Squad, some research actually supports what he’s saying and now there’s a movement to reform it.)

SARS IS A FORCE HERE IN NIGERIA AND THEY KILL WITH OUT REASON NOW

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Me: yikes
that's REALLY crazy
you should definitely leave

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Lad: I don't have money to leave to country

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Me: i'll have to think about how we can help each other but there has to be something in it for me

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Lad: What did you need
Just tell me so that I will know if I can afford it

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i'll think about it and talk to you tomorrow

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Lad: okay thanks
I will appreciate if I can have your phone number so that I will call you.

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Me: send me your email, i may have something that would be profitable for both of us
i dont have a phone, at my age i couldn't hear the damn thing anyway

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Lad: Why don't you buy a phone

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Me: i don't need one of those damn things and like i said i don't think i could hear it anyway
and it's none of your business

Posted: Wed Jan 10, 2018 7:22 pm

PART 6: Taking Charge

(Time to put my little friend to work.)

Here is my email
[email protected]

Me: okay, i will send you an email so we can stop using hangout

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Lad: I prefer hangout

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Me: i don't
it's a pain in the ass
answer my email

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Lad: Do know you have an iPhone

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Me: i told you no

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Lad: you have an iPhone 6s so stop lying

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Me: why do you say that
do you think i'm talking on a phone to you
i'm not

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Lad: Because I know you are just telling lies about phone

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Me: why the hell would i do that?
i'm too damn old for that crap

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Lad: Okay

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Lad: (Massive bank scam script)

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Me: email it, i can't read it in here

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Lad: Okay I will have to send it using google calendar

Me: why
just email it like you would to the address i give you. can't you do that simple thing?

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Lad: Okay then

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Lad: Hello Man
I'm not sending any email to that shit you sent

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Me: Now you have my address

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Lad: yeah

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(As instructed, he switches to email. I didn’t really care, I just wanted to make him do something to position myself as the boss. And he did. Nice.)

Me: much better, I prefer email, it's easier for me to keep track
I may have some work for you if you're interested. I don't have time for all the emails I have to use

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Lad: What is the work?

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Me: I have more good emails than I can work with thanks to my source so I'm considering passing some to you with some VERY specific conditions.

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Lad: What conditions?

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Me: You will BCC me on EVERY message youy send, no exceptions. If you don't we are done.

You will send me 60% of all the money you take in. If you try to steal from me we are done. There will be plenty for both of us

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Lad: So how do we start ?

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Me: I have access to the database for a company that sells cruises and tours, high end stuff. I have names, addresses, age, email, everything. There are more than I can handle so I will send some to you and you will work them for all you can get. They will be only rich people over 90 years old so your chance of success will be very high. There's a reason I make so much money at this.

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Lad: Okay that is good

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Me: what script do you use

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Lad: Bank of America

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Me: send it to me so i can see if it's any good

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Lad: (Huge B of A script…)

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Me: I'll give it some thought and get back to you. I need to go offline for a while

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Lad: OKAY I will be waiting?

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Me: I'm sorry but I will be away from the computer until tomorrow, we can start our project then

If you do it right it should profit us both

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Lad: Okay then tomorrow

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Me: If we're going to make this work you need a different script, the bank one isn't going to be effective at all with these people. Get an inheritance one and get back to me with it.

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Lad: (Inheritance script…)

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Me: Much better.

I will get an address to send it to that I know is good.

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Me: I have an email address that I believe will give you a response. If you don't get one let me know as I have many, many more.

[email protected]

Remember, you MUST BCC me on your messages and I want you to forward me the replies you get back. Why? Because I want to make sure you're not trying to screw me out of money and I want to make sure you know what the hell you're doing. If you're not making money doing this maybe I can help.

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Lad: The email owner full address

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Me: I only have emails, you can get the address from them.

Why do you care about an address? It makes no difference for the scam.

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Lad: I have sent him email no reply

(No, he didn’t.)

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Me: You didn't copy me on it, why not?

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Lad: You said I should copy you when he replays back

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Me: No I said

Remember, you MUST BCC me on your messages

THAT MEANS ALL OF THEM

Don't screw around with me

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Me: Show me what you sent and who you sent it to. I can't believe you screwed up this fast

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Me: Where the fuck are you and what are you doing?

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Lad: I have sent him so many emails

(No, he didn’t.)

Did you got the one I sent with the FBI?

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Me: I did not get copies of any mails you sent.

Very strange that you have not heard back

Here is another that should work well

[email protected]

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Me: And COPY ME ON YOUR MESSAGES

Don't screw around

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Lad: Chat me on hangout

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Me: I prefer email, the chat window doesn't seem to work well for me. My computer is pretty old
I only see the first line of chat, what did you say

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Lad: I'm not sending any email to that shit you

That is all your email address MAN STOP FOOLING UR SELF

MAN IS NOT HOT!

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Me: Of course it's not, why would I do that?

How do I know you even sent anything or where you sent it since you DIDN'T COPY ME ON YOUR FUCKING MESSAGES.

I don't even know where you really sent the emails or if you sent any at all

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Lad: DID YOU RECOGNIZE THIS EMAIL xxxxxxxxxxgmail.com ADDRESSS?

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Me: No, I sent you [email protected]

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Lad: I send many email to them I will try this one

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Me: Show me what you sent to (the first baiter address)

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Me: Well? What's going on?

Are you going to follow my directions or not? There's money to be made and you're testing my patience

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Lad: Did you receive the email I just sent?

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Me: NO
What did you send and to who?

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Lad: HELLO ARE YOU THERE?

OR ARE YOU TRING TO REPLY ME BY YOUR SELF

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Me: I am replying

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Lad: sent an email with yahoo account check your spam box

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Me: From
Mr. XXXXXXXXXXX?

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Lad: I sent some format to the email you gave me and I bbc you check your spam box

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Me: I see a message from xxxxxxxx

Is that you?

The format is terrible, what happened to the FBI one?

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Lad: The format is good I will send the FBI tomorrow

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Me: From a different email of course

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Lad: yeah

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Me: What's going on? Did you get any responses?

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Lad: Yes

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Me: I told you to send them to me, I want to see how you operate

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Lad: I done that already

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Me: You didn't send me the response that you got back

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Lad: I BBC you when I replied him

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Me: What's going on

If you're not interested in making real money then you're doing a good job of making that happen. If you can't handle it then send me someone who can

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Lad: I did not hear from him?

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Me: I will look into finding some others.

Posted: Wed Jan 10, 2018 7:23 pm

PART 7: The Baited Hacks the Baited

Me: try (My Evil Attorney address)

he just finished a Hawaii cruise and it shows he's 93 years old in the company's database

you'd better not be fucking around with this

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Lad (in google hangout): Why are you wasting you time? trying to follow my write up why *DELETED* ?

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Me: What's going on? I didn't see any message sent to the yahoo address I sent you so I did it myself.

Are you up for working together or not?

Did you send it and not copy me? What the fuck?

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Lad: What to follow follow Ezi

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Me: Did you send an email to the idiot or not?

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Lad: FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK YOU

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Me What's your fucking problem? Did you ever try to contact the addresses I sent you or are you just wasting my time? I gave you GOOD emails and you're just fucking around

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Lad: Which idiot Stop been stupid

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Me: The old man from the cruise ship that I told you about

If you don't want him I'll do it myself. You haven't done ANYTHING that I have instructed

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Lad UPGRADE THIS IS NOW LOCAL BRO

LOW LIFE

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Me: I thought you were looking for some real cash.

Or are you just a stupid small-time child

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Lad: Which side you dey stay for Ghana

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Me: I'm not in Ghana you moron

I wouldn't live in a shithole

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Lad: STORY STORY STORY DID YOU KNOW THAT RONALDIHO IS BETTER IS BETTER THAN MESSI

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Me: Soccer is for whining pussies

Now are you going to get to work or not?

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Lad: FUCK

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Me: Do you even know HOW to make money in this game or are you just an annoying little boy?

You don't make a lot of sense

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Lad: I need you phone number?

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Me: Not going to happen, give my phone number to a scammer?

Funny

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Lad: If really you are in Hawaii provide your number
Local champion

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Me: I'm not giving a phone number to a criminal.

Simple

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Lad: You have a lot of time Ghana boy

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Me: Do you think talking to you is all I'm doing?

I made more money last week than you'll make in a year.

And I'm not in Ghana

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Lad: THEN FUCK OFF GHANA BOY

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Me So explain to me why you don't want to make any money'

Fucking idiot

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Lad: Let me tell what you don't know?

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Me: And what is it that I don't know

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Lad: HAHAHAHAHA UPGRADE

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Me: Uprade?

What the fuck do you mean? If I prove I'm in Hawaii wil you quit fucking around and do what I tell you or are you just entertaining yourself?

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(And now it all starts to make sense…)

Lad: DID YOU REMEMBER THIS (A lad I hammered with the Evil Attorney bit for a few months)

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(Busted! Time to do some duck-and-dodge scrambling so I don’t lose him. I’ll pretend I’m just a lad who messed with a lad for fun.)

Me: Do you mean that idiot I fucked with for days? He was the stupidest scammer on the planet

That was you? I was bored and he was fucking hilarious.

Now do you want to make any money or not?

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Lad: DID YOU REMEMBER THIS (My Evil Attorney’s email address)

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Me: Of course I do, that was part of the fun I had. Like I said, I was bored

That's why I gave you that email address now, I wanted to see if you were serious. If you had actually SENT THE FUCKING MESSAGE I would have given you a lot more.

But you didn't

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Lad: Is the email I hacked just now (The baited lad’s address again)

I hacked it just now and I saw you inside and the fucking email (The Evil Attorney’s address again) you said was stupid

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Me: Yeah, that was a lot of fun. He was an idiot.

I think it's really you and you didn't hack anything

I used the (Evil Attorney address) to test you and you failed

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Lad: After I hacked the account I found out you are just fucking with me

So what else did you have to say?

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Me: No, you moron, I was fucking with that scammer because he was so fucking stupid. It went on for weeks and was the funniest shit ever.

Now are you going to work with me or not?

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Lad: No you just what to fuck with me as you did to them right but MAN IS NOT FOOL

You see the reply I gave to your response to my email to this shit (Address from another baiter) you wanted to follow up

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Me: That email's not mine.

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Lad: Don't think so because I will hack yours as soon as am done with what am doing now

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Me: Good luck with that

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Lad: I need their numbers not emails

If you have only email then am not working with you I need numbers not emails okay

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Me I only have emails, ages and what state they live in. That's better than all the bullshit you buy

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Lad: I need their number so I can call them before sending anything to them

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Me: Well I guess that's tough shit then since I don't have it

You won't send an email? What the hell kind of scammer are you?

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Me: Did you email to (another baiter address)? If you don’t I will

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Lad: Guy go and die

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Looks like he’s done with me but it sure was interesting…I don’t think he “gets” baiting as I believe he thinks I’m just a lad who fucked with another lad so I’ll give myself a clean escape, my favorite thing.

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