Reverend Eze - "Sand Timer" & 4 Safari trips

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Posted: Wed Feb 07, 2018 3:43 pm

with all his consistent whining and bitching, I think it's an quite accurate portrayal

Baiting Guru Joined: 10 Oct 2010 Posts: 3877

And Matt had time to respond to the messages. Essentially he tries to get the fee out of the world. but matt won't accept that Twisted Evil

Quote:

Elite Baiter Joined: 17 Jun 2015 Posts: 1942

He has bigger boobs then those hookers.... unless of course those are male/tranny hookers. Shocked

Baiting Guru Joined: 10 Oct 2010 Posts: 3877

and more fun with him

Quote:

he has an interesting situation Twisted Evil

Posted: Thu Feb 08, 2018 1:59 am

He sent me something extremely non-committal and almost rude:

Quote:

Dear Father Nicodim,

Thank you sir for your recommendation.

Although I know this means there will be more delays, I sent him a response encouraging him to give me concrete dates (which he will renege on, and subsequently end up being reprimanded):

Quote:

How long do you think it will take you to complete stage 3? Since you already have your loyal parishioners from stage 1, it should be easy to do this next stage. Hopefully you can compensate for your prior laziness by making this stage especially quick.

We will see what he does next. I will expect him to take a few weeks to get this done, as was the issue before, but maybe now he will be more motivated.

Posted: Thu Feb 08, 2018 6:57 am

^^^ Muhahaha! Yeap, now everything should be easy for "reverend" Ezze ... to gather his "tribe" and recreate the biblical scene with Moses that separates the waters of the sea. Laughing

Thursday - 01.04 - local time

- Our idiot wrote to father Elephterie:

Quote:

Dear Father Elephterie,

Mr.Matt Eagle said that the $4000 it is a fee for defending the parcel against those criminals, whose attention got by trying to get the parcel transporting to Nigeria with shady people. Without the fee he will not deliver the parcel to me, and he supposed to deliver it tomorrow as we concluded before this additional fees.

Emanuel

07.40 - father Elephterie ask for more explanations about "that strange $4,000 bill". Laughing

Quote:

Brother Ezze,

Jesus Christ, but the defense of the parcel is his duty and is part of the delivery process! We have already paid for it!
How is it possible for someone to claim additional money for an already paid service?
Please insist on them and tell me what "exactly" means those additional services. And I will send them a message in this regard.
His Excellency Euphrosie scolded me very hard last week, when I paid the first such "strange" bill (another $ 3,000).
I want to help you, but please understand that your status within the church is not yet complete, so all these expenses are not easy to justify to the Elders.
Elephterie

===================

- Matt is already on his way to Port Harcourt ...
- I'm curious how long he'll take Ezze to ask the courier: "Why are you going in that direction? Lagos is in the opposite direction!" Laughing

===================

10.14 - Because I will be busy this weekend (in RL), I had to find a way to justify the absence of "characters"... so, His Excellency Euphrosie (the cardinal) wants the church to organize the "2-week Remember Celebration" (a holy dinner, which commemorates the two weeks since the death of the old Eduard).
- Obviously, also Ezze will have to organize such an event! Yes, we want pictures! Now we really need those pictures of the roasted lamb and his parishioners!
- Cardinal Euphrosie wrote to father Elephterie (original text is in Romanian Laughing

).

Quote:

My wish is that on Saturday we organize the 2-week feast for the memory of the late Eduard.
Please take care of all the necessary details and please send this communication to all our subsidiaries!

Euphrosie

PS: Tell me if you've managed to clarify the issue of that last bill for the African package. This whole story starts to bother me, things do not work normally there and everything seems extraordinarily slow. When does the Reverend Ezze finish all the admissions procedures? What stage has he reached now? Lawyers are already working on inheritance documents, and we are not able to send the complete list of church believers because Ezze is still in stand-by with his parish. Please hurry him, because the Old Council members are already questioning this Nigerian parish. I sincerely wish Brother Eduard's ultimate desire to be fulfilled, but if Reverend Ezze is unable to carry out some simple procedures, then it will probably be too late for him and his parish. Try to explain these things once again!

10.38 - father Elephterie sent a message to our idiot (by forwarding cardinal's message):

Quote:

Brother Ezze, Cardinal Euphrosie organizes the Holy Dinner commemorating the 2 weeks that have passed since our brother Eduard died.
It is imperative that all MUIE affiliates do the same, because this is how we show respect for the deceased and this is how we can always remember them!

Your parish needs to organize such a holy dinner, where the main menu must be roasted lamb (as our late brother Edward likes to eat)!
I remember perfectly that you have not even sent the photos taken at the first mourning ceremony! This time, even you have to send pictures of the sacred ceremony!
You did not even send your revised "proof of Faith" picture, dressed in the reverend's outfit!
You have not sent yet all the completed forms (Adhesions) for your believers!

Brother Eze, the cardinal asked me to expedite the procedures because the lawyers are pushing us to give up the complete lists of all MUIE parishes.
How do you think I will be able to force Euphrosie to approve the payment of the last bill (those $4,000), as you prove that you are not capable of performing simple and easy tasks???

Elephterie

_____________
Original cardinal's message, in Romanian. Laughing

=========================

11.03 - our idiot, to father Elephterie... he ask for money and he pretend to be "scared by terrorists". Laughing

Quote:

Dear Father Elephterie,

I received your message and understood. But you have not send the third stage of admission to me, Now the police have captured the traitors that has been following the delivery man to hijack the parcel from him in a bloody way. I appreciate all you have been doing to help out in order to ensure our church get this parcel.

The delivery man supposed to deliver the parcel today but the $4,000 have stopped him from bringing the parcel to ours. I had been lacking concentration to do all this things because of the threats coming from the hijackers.

I am still hiding very far from the parish and home because you never can tell if this hijackers people are still coming for me. I was advised to be careful my the delivery company to avoid bad news since mean me. Without this final payment of $4,000 i won't get the parcel, I am ready to send the money back to you once i receive the parcel since there is money inside of it. Please come to our rescue for the payment.

Be Blessed

Emanuel Ezze

- Father Elephterie's answer:

Quote:

Brother Ezze, I sent you all the details for the third Stage in one of my message yesterday.

Let me remind you the requirements:
-------------------

The third Stage appeals to your imagination, and I think it will be very easy for you (because you only have to prove that you have the power to gather your own people near you, just as the Prophet Moses).

The requirement of this 3th Stage is that you recreate the moment when the Prophet Moses stops (with all of his people) on the Red Sea beach and He makes the waves to split:

- you will play the role of Moses, of course... you have to be dressed properly, so that anyone can recognize you in that role.
- your parishioners must play the role of your tribe... women, men, children.
- you have to sit on the beach in front of the sea, with your magical staff raised in the air and with your eyes facing the sky.
- your tribe will be situated behind you, with their hands together as prayer.

I think only a few pictures (4-5 photos) made from several angles will be more than sufficient.

We want to see a large photo group with you and all parishioners!
We want to see your face's expression when you ask for the help of the Holy Lamb!

------------------

About last payment and "terrorists problems", all that I can assure you is that you will receive all the support from us after completing the last two stages of admission.
Now, in these tense moments, His Excellence Euphrosie has his hands tied up (that bastards lawyers push us, and the Elders do not want the church to spend anything more until your parish becomes a MUIE sister-parish).
So, I advice you to hurry up with the latest stages ... send the required materials and complete the admission process!
You will be a true MUIE representative, and our funds will be at your disposal for any local problem.

Elephterie

==========================

12.11 - Mr. Idiot Ezze, to Elephterie:

Quote:

Dear Father Elephterie,

I need an sample of what to do. I have to informed the delivery agent to hold on until then.

Ezze

- Elephterie... I searched on google for 2 drawings with Moses and the waters, and I sent them to him. Laughing

Quote:

Brother Eze, what are you talking about? What example do you want?
I do not understand!

- All you have to do is recreate the Bible scene with Moses on the seashore.
- You must be dressed like Moses, and have a wooden stick in your right hand.
- Behind you, on the beach, there must be some of your parish believers.
- You look up to heaven and cry: "To break the waters!"
- Your believers pray, kneeling, with their hands raised up to the sky.

For inspiration, you can look at biblical scenes on the internet. I'm sending you 2 examples.
That's all you have to do for stage 3.

Elephterie

=============================

Baiting Guru Joined: 10 Oct 2010 Posts: 3877

so, the lad forwarded the message from elephterie to him (from 07:40), to me, and he sent me this:

Quote:

so matt forwarded elefteries message to vitello, whom he always calls home base in other emails.
(please clear your keyboards from any beverages. especially a certain goat...)

Quote:

and vitello sent his answer, to elephterie, ezze and matt. accidentally, he left matts email attached Twisted Evil

Quote:

so, the lad tries to avoid telling the church in too clear words, that they are paying for killing people, yet both, matt and vitello speak out what actually has happened.

meanwhile, matt drives further towards port harcourt, much to the disliking of ezze, who somehow expected matt to be in lagos today (I didn't tell him that).

Posted: Thu Feb 08, 2018 12:15 pm

12.40 - father Elephterie answer to Mr. Vitello Tonatto, to Matt Eagle and to our idiot. Laughing

Quote:

Ohh, my God, what does this message mean?
Your courier Mr. Eagle has killed seven people for that parcel?
It's a sacrilege! Our Church does not tolerate and does not admit such abominable things, because killing is a huge sin!
We can not take such a thing on our shoulders and completely disregard these facts!

Mr. Vitello, I confess that I interpreted that paragraph as being "an insurance against road accidents". We have accepted to pay $1,000 for any damage caused by road accidents.
We have never accepted to pay money for the violent death of some of ours fellow men, even if they are criminals and terrorists!

I'm afraid I will have to discuss these serious things with His Excellence Eufrosie, our Great Cardinal.
I'll come back to you with another message later!

Father Elephterie
MUIE church secretary

12.42 - Ezze's answer, regarding the 3th Stage "problem":

Quote:

This third stage needs money to gather the parish believers and take them to the beach. This is why we need the parcel to collect the money and perfect the third stage. This parcel has caused a lot of problems because of the money attached inside, I said it earlier that this money be sent to us through account provided to avoid all this that has happened but they didn't listened to me. I doubt how long it will take to complete this third stage because we need finance unless we get the parcel on time. Today is the scheduled today to bring the parcel to us but this additional has denied us from getting the parcel today.

Ezze

12.44 - Ezze, regarding the "killing people problem". Laughing

Quote:

Please do what you can because am afraid now since it has involved in killing several people.

13.06 - Elephterie fought in the WWII and knows that the enemies must be killed, sometimes Laughing

... but, officially, he can not do anything for the moment.
- Of course, if Reverend Ezze ends with church admission process, then there are some possibilities for help. Laughing

Quote:

All I hear from you in the last few weeks is about those money!
Jesus, brother Ezze, you have to start thinking like a MUIE Reverend, not as a merchant on the market! Money is not important, because they only have the role of helping poor people!
Now, after that terrible message I received from Mr. Eagle's company, things are all the more serious.
- I have to talk to Euphrosie about this, but I assure you that his answer will be a negative one! No doubt here!
- I personally understand the whole situation, because I fought in the Second World War and I was forced to kill enemies. So, I know these painful things are sometimes necessary.
- If you manage to finish the admission procedures, then I could help you (unofficially, of course), because the church secretariat can send "help" funds to local affiliates. That means you can get money without having to go to the cardinal Euphrosie for his approval.

But everything can only happen if you and your parish are officially part of our community. Not before, not otherwise!
Elephterie

=========================

Baiting Guru Joined: 10 Oct 2010 Posts: 3877

from vitello to elephterie, ezze and matt

Quote:

That's another kick into laddys butt, let's see what happens.

Posted: Thu Feb 08, 2018 1:16 pm

Well, our idiot seems to have come to the end of his powers ... he has reached his limits. Laughing

13.19 - Ezze, to Elephterie:

Quote:

Sir!

I am not thinking of money and i will not do that. This third stage is even harder then others. I have to gather people take them to the beach with empty hand and act like Moses.

13.21 - Ezze, the second message to Elephterie:

Quote:

After this week i will forget the parcel because am very tired of all this whole situation.

=================

14.03 - Father Elephterie answered to Mr. Vitello (obviously, our moron is also in CC) Laughing

Quote:

Dear Mr. Tonnato,
Our reverend in Nigeria, Mr. Ezze, has been through dramatic moments lately, so all his behavior is inappropriate.
He is scared and tired, and the fact that Mr. Eagle has killed so many people makes him feel guilty.

I hope these moments will pass and I hope the Reverend Ezze will come back among us.
I try, with him, to arrange things in such a way that we can also pay this last bill. Please give us a few days until we can complete the details of this payment.

Be blessed Sir!
Father Nectarie

- If we're gonna lose the idiot, then Elephterie will pay that $4,000 bill and we'll continue the story with Matt and the parcel.
- the big problem is that Ezze seems exhausted (psychic and financial) and we do not think he can make very soon another trip.

==========================

14.41 - father Elephterie really wants to help the idiot... and, of course, he wants to get other trophies. Laughing

Quote:

Brother Ezze,
Jesus, I know it's hard, but the satisfaction will be as you expect!
God sees our good deeds, and rewards them to measure!

I will try to discuss in particular with some of the members of the Elders Council.. Sunday evening, after the sermon. Maybe I can convince them to approve paying the bill to Mr. Eagle's company.
Some of them I know them well and I hope everyone to understand that everything was a desperate case and that the measures taken (the killing of those villains) was still a desperate measure!

You have to send me some materials, until Sunday morning:
- your revised photo (dress as Reverend),
- requests for membership of your parishioners (to know what their name is, so we can get them on the church list),
- some photos from the Holy Dinner organized on the occasion of the 2 weeks that have passed since Eduard's death.

All these materials are absolutely necessary to me when I want to go talk to the board members!
I must have something to show them, when I ask for help for "a brother of Faith who needs us".
You understand me?

Elephterie

============================

Baiting Guru Joined: 10 Oct 2010 Posts: 3877

Quote:

he doesn't like it.

the message was sent to vitello and as bcc to matt, so elephterie could've gotten it too.

I really don't know what he is trying to accomplish. divide matt and vitello?

Posted: Thu Feb 08, 2018 1:46 pm

^^^ Mr. Ezze is just a liar idiot, I do not think we can accuse him of diabolical "strategies". Laughing

Baiting Guru Joined: 10 Oct 2010 Posts: 3877

Quote:

Poor Ezze, now he gets it explained by a kid...

Posted: Thu Feb 08, 2018 2:19 pm

^^^

- Matt arrived in Port Harcourt and turned on the GPS signal jammer for remaining "low profile" as much possible on the entire weekend period... So, good food, expensive drinks and gorgeous women! What a life! Laughing

- We will return with a "new position on the map" just Monday morning, when Matt will return to Abuja.
- I hope Monday our idiot gets good news... the church paid those $4,000, so the story goes on! Laughing

================

.

Baiting Guru Joined: 10 Oct 2010 Posts: 3877

Quote:

let's see if he bites.

Posted: Thu Feb 08, 2018 3:40 pm

^^^

- He knows that there are $40,000 in the parcel, so he could spend 3-4 thousand. Give him the option to pay "on the spot" after picking up the package.
- All he has to do is get to Port Harcourt... maybe for an extra $1,000 payment, Matt offers to take him back to Lagos?
- Let's say give him a "full offer" for only $4,000? I mean, you can assure them also his transport back to Lagos for that money. Laughing

Posted: Thu Feb 08, 2018 8:59 pm

He sent me something kind of rude:

Quote:

What did you mean by laziness? This is the reason why i don't like to response to your messages or sent to you because you do not know such about the situation. You have not even sent the stage 3 to know if it will take much time but you concluded already.

I did not slap him for this, but I think that Elefterie should slap our lad for being so rude to a respected member of the church.
My response:

Quote:

I think you received instructions for the stage 3, acting out the parting of the waters while you are dressed as Moses with your parishioners behind you. Remember all of the delays with stages 1 and 2? When there are delays like that, it makes me doubt your commitment to the process, so prove me wrong. Prove that you are not lazy and very motivated to join our glorious church of MUIE by completing stage 3 very quickly.

Be blessed,
Nicodim

He's stalling now, or trying to play Nicodim and Elefterie off each other. This won't work.

Baiting Guru Joined: 10 Oct 2010 Posts: 3877

first of all, he copied my "Sir!", which I find annoying because I'm afraid I've actually taught him something.

secondly, he refuses to come to me, instead... read.

Quote:

I can't hand the parcel over to a third party (not only because these are an ITP, and he will question THEM if the parcel disappears, but also because it is against the in-bait rules of the transportation service).

but matt is somewhere in port harcourt, and has no time to respond to the message.

EDIT:

https://gigm.com/

that's their website.

god is good motors.

EDIT2: and here, god is good logistigs: http://giglogistics.ng/
they do parcel shipping, etc.

Posted: Fri Feb 09, 2018 8:29 am

@Mr. Eagle and father Nicodim:

- I will not be (in my RL) available this weekend, so father Elephterie waits until Sunday night to see if Mr. Ezze has sent the latest material requested by the church.

In his last message, father Elephterie wrote:

... You have to send me some materials, until Sunday morning:
- your revised photo (dress as Reverend),
- requests for membership of your parishioners (to know what their name is, so we can get them on the church list),
- some photos from the Holy Dinner organized on the occasion of the 2 weeks that have passed since Eduard's death.

All these materials are absolutely necessary to me when I want to go talk to the board members!
I must have something to show them, when I ask for help for "a brother of Faith who needs us"...

========================

10.08 - local time

- father Elephterie sent a message to Mr. Idiot (father Nicodim is in CC):

Quote:

Brother Ezze, good morning!

Prepare your Holly Dinner with the believers and send me all the required photos (see the previous message) until Sunday morning.
Keep in touch with father Nicodim. I think we have a good chance I can convince some of the Elders to approve the last payment to Mr. Eagle's company.

Elephterie

==========================

Baiting Guru Joined: 10 Oct 2010 Posts: 3877

So Matt had a wonderful night and morning.

Quote:

Posted: Fri Feb 09, 2018 12:38 pm

13.17 - our idiot, to father Elephterie... Ezze does not want to send the requested photos, but expects the church to pay the $4,000. Laughing

Quote:

Dear Father Elephterie,

I will send the names of the believers but am afraid other things might not be possible before the Sunday. It seems the believers are not happy because of the bad news several killings related to the parcel which has kept the parish wondering and feared.

This Villains are in connection with Boko Haram and we have received several threats from them in which has made the parish to be afraid and tired for the whole situation. I will pleased if this last $4000 is paid and we receive the parcel and present it in Sunday service by then the believers will follow me to the beach to performance as Moses.

Brother Ezze

- Father Elephterie is inflexible:

Quote:

Brother Ezze,
I'm very busy preparing for the Holy Dinner celebration and I do not have much time for you. We can talk on Sunday, after the sermon.
It is mandatory to send me the few pictures, if you want to be successful at Sunday's sermon and if you want the Elders to approve the payment.
- your revised photo (appropriate suit for the reverend position).
- pictures of the Holy Dinner organized by you.

Elephterie

======================

Posted: Fri Feb 09, 2018 3:14 pm

Nicodim responded as well:

Quote:

Yes, prepare the holy dinner of roast lamb with mushrooms as you promised to do weeks ago! I have to say that when we told the elders that you were going to prepare the holy dinner, they were quite impressed; if you disappoint them now, there is a very slim chance that they will approve the payment. You should really also try to do the third stage of admission as well soon to show the elders how dedicated you are to the church. All that I can say is that if you do nothing, things will not go well for you.

I don't even know if he can find edible mushrooms in Nigeria, but that won't stop me from insisting on the holy dinner, or stage 3 as a compromise. At this point, he really has no option other than to give us what we want.

Posted: Sat Feb 10, 2018 3:54 pm

Something else from him:

Quote:

Dear Father Nicodim,

I was unable to go to the beach today with believers to perform the Moses part aspect of the stage 3, I need to convince the believers before following me to the beach but i will complete it last week.

(1) James R. Onyeka
(2) Joshua Ekene
(3) Fred Y.Arinze
(4) George Osaiga
(5) Walter Eluemunor
(6) Edwin I. Mekoma
(7) Nicolas Ikechukwu
( Cool

Larry O.Umeadi
(9) Vincent T Onuwa

The names listed above are the 9 photos of the believers sent to you. We still have many believers but yet to register fully due to title crisis in our parish concerning the enrollment of our church. I suggest that we should start from somewhere else by looking for another site to lay a new foundation of MUIE regional parish in Lagos.

Be Blessed

Names! I like this. What I don't like is this "title crisis" he is complaining about. Maybe someone caught on to the meaning of the word MUIE, and is suspicious that this church is not quite right? I responded with more questions:

Quote:

Thank you for this latest information. You say that it would be a good idea to find another place to start laying the foundation of the MUIE parish in Nigeria. Are you suggesting that you want to travel to other places in Nigeria to investigate where to start building the parish? What even is the title crisis in the parish, and why is it preventing more believers from joining and completing the process? You need to complete the stage 3 to proceed with the application procedure. There are always struggles in faith, but we can always work through them. I want a list of potential solutions you have to your problem right now, so together we can figure out a course of action. I would suggest you try to recruit more followers of MUIE in other cities; this could make stage 3 easier, and it would greatly impress the elders in the church.

I don't think any of my solutions will help him much, but if he feels he has some choice in the matter, it may be easier for him to do what we want.

Baiting Guru Joined: 10 Oct 2010 Posts: 3877

great message Very Happy

I forgot to post yesterday:

Quote:

and my response:

Quote:

so far no response, he even didn't bite at the idea that he could easily take those pictures in the hotel.

I can only guess, that he prepared the meal at home Twisted Evil

Posted: Sat Feb 10, 2018 5:30 pm

He never mentioned anything about the holy dinner, and I didn't ask about it; we will see if that comes up later.

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