2 SAFARIS Amsterdam-UK I Cant Believe This With My Eyes!

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Posted: Sun Sep 25, 2016 3:33 am

Q: What is the advantage of a faraway Oga’s London rep failing to Safari?

A: The Oga sometimes tires of unreliable, distant brodas and flies his own personal foot soldier across the sea to collect the cash. (Lee Sam Kang was one example). In this case, the same Lad travels from Netherlands to UK and back twice within 6 days.

Quote:

“I can’t believe this with my eyes!”
“I tried everything on earth to get you”
“I was scared so I remove my SIM card from my phone”
“For so many hours, I have been standing here at Plymouth station!”
“I have already given the taxi driver £200 for petrol. He had to stop to fill up 2 times already. Now I have to give him at least another £200”

THE STORY.
It is always nice to be well thought of. Gold Oga in Netherlands Paul Pressures contacted me recently, having been referred by another Lad. It could have been a well-intended referral, or it could be that Paul’s pal wanted to punish him for something. Whatever, Paul contacted me to do a gold deal. Of course, I was only too happy to co-operate. Paul offered me 10 kg of gold at the bargain price of $230 000 USD (£174 000 GBP) with an upfront cash payment of 50% (£87 000 GBP) on successful assay of a 5g sample. Naturally, I insisted that the assay meeting took place face to face in my character's home town of Looe, Cornwall. Paul agreed.

Paul was pretending to be in Ghana and claimed he would travel to Amsterdam where the gold was located, to organise the travelling rep. ReadNotify told me that he was actually in Amsterdam all of the time.

THE SAFARIS.
Paul advised that his rep in Amsterdam, Martin would travel from Amsterdam to UK to meet me. I uncovered that Martin was already located in UK (probably London). Martin was a waster and after numerous excuses, didn’t travel to Looe. Oga Paul claimed that Martin had absconded in London with 10 kg of his gold.

Paul soon introduced his new rep, Adams Evans. ReadNotify proved to me that Adams was actually in Amsterdam and did travel to UK and back, twice in 6 days!

On his first trip (to Looe) Adams was foolish enough to take a taxi from Stansted Airport to Looe, a 600 miles round trip, which cost him approx £500. I let him wander around Looe for 5 hours whilst the taxi meter continued ticking. Adams was so disoriented and paranoid in our beautiful Cornish fishing town that he removed the SIM card from his phone for 2 hours.

After his first nightmare trip, the returning Adams was very truculent and stubborn on his second Safari (to Plymouth) and I had to bite my tongue to avoid scaring him off. He was suspicious and instead of standing outside the front of the station to be collected by me in my taxi, he hid himself away to watch and wait.

SAFARI ONE.

Adams emailed me a pic of one of his Taxi Parking Tickets from Looe.

SAFARI 2.

Quote:

The Players:

Mugu: Mr P
Oga in Amsterdam: Paul Pressures
Lad in London: Martin
Lad in Amsterdam: Adams Evans

THE AUDIO.
http://yourlisten.com/MrPr1cky/amsterdam-safaris-sep-16

Posted: Sun Sep 25, 2016 5:54 am

My Pressures! O my Pressures!

He must have been under great Pressures to send Adams twice.

Posted: Sun Sep 25, 2016 7:58 am

I was wondering what took you so long to get another safari racked up lol.

Totally awesome as always TM!

Posted: Sun Sep 25, 2016 8:43 am

Long live Mr. P!, TM, what an excellent adventure for your lad, the joys of the English countryside. Sadly, he doesn't seem to appreciate same.

Top of line work!

Posted: Sun Sep 25, 2016 9:02 am

Pressures is one of those criminal masterminds of comedy - always being let down by his bungling and inept henchmen.

Well done, TM - another pith - how many hatstands do you need now?

Baiting Guru Joined: 10 Oct 2010 Posts: 3877

great safaries, congratulations Very Happy

I have to listen again, he seems to be really happy over there.

just as an idea: just a bit west of looe, there is polperro. this would be rather boring, unless there is:

the polperro harbour webcam

http://www.polperronews.com/

actually seeing the lad on webcam is so much more fun.

Twisted Evil

Posted: Sun Sep 25, 2016 12:01 pm

Great work TM. I loved the calls, sadly there was not much anger from the lads. Perhaps you should have taunted them some more. =)

Elite Baiter Joined: 28 Mar 2015 Posts: 1916

I got the distinct impression the lad thought he was being set up to be arrested. He refused to give details of the train he was on, or the clothes he was wearing. Lol

So funny when he kept saying he didn't know Mr P was in a taxi, when he had already been told that more than once. Prat.

Outstanding safaris, TM, as always. Laughing

Posted: Sun Sep 25, 2016 3:21 pm

Dude... This is just impressive.

Posted: Sun Sep 25, 2016 3:27 pm

You are really employed by the Cornish Tourism Board aren't you TM?

Nicely done Very Happy

Posted: Sun Sep 25, 2016 4:14 pm

Most excellent work with the precious, er I mean Pressures! clapping

419Eater is my life Joined: 11 Sep 2015 Posts: 335

As always, TM, outstanding work! Congrats!

Posted: Sun Sep 25, 2016 5:48 pm

Nice work, Monsignor! I hope the Amsterdam oga is now reconsidering and doubting all of his "professional" relationships, from the friend who gave him the initial referral, to his network of contract lads in the UK, and even his inner circle of guymen.

Posted: Sun Sep 25, 2016 10:14 pm

This lad really should see someone about his paranoia. The way this fella was carrying on you'd almost think he was doing something illegal and that someone was trying to set him up. As if.... Wink

Great work TM Very Happy

Posted: Sun Sep 25, 2016 10:53 pm

^^There will doubtlessly be some house cleaning.

Thanks for making my Sunday afternoon enjoyable, TM!

Posted: Mon Sep 26, 2016 5:31 am

jojobean wrote:

Dude... This is just impressive.

+1! TM makes these "insta-safaris" look so damn easy!

Posted: Mon Sep 26, 2016 6:06 am

Awesome work TM!!!

I'm currently listening to the audio. Have you ever managed to do such a great achievement of getting 2 safaris with one lad or this was for the first time?

I'm sure for the 3rd time everything will go well. Twisted Evil

Hello I'm New here! Joined: 28 Aug 2013 Posts: 2

Simply brilliant Smile

Posted: Mon Sep 26, 2016 10:40 pm

I visit the West Midlands often for business. I've managed to make it as far south as Bath and Stone/Wood Henge. I would love to visit the Cornwall coast and it bothers me that all these scam artists get to go there and don't even appreciate the beauty of the region.

Maybe just as well. I hear that the taxi traffic is terrible. Laughing

Posted: Mon Sep 26, 2016 11:19 pm

Why the hell did he go for Stanstead? That's hours on the trip. He'd have been better off getting to Birmingham, it's barely any longer flying and he'd have had a straight run down the M5.

Ain't complaining tho Laughing

Baiting Guru Joined: 10 Oct 2010 Posts: 3877

^^

a longer taxi ride allows seeing more of that beautiful landscape. and it should be a main objective of this community to enhance their horizon and allow them tho see how great this world is.

not just by putting them into planes, but also during long and expensive taxi-rides where they can fully grasp the beauty of the lad.

so we should all thank TM that he allowed this young man to see the pittoreque town of looe and even more importantly: how great it is to not cheat the taxi driver Smile

Posted: Tue Sep 27, 2016 12:34 am

Nice way to close in on 20 years, TM.

Great stuff!

Posted: Tue Sep 27, 2016 8:52 am

Folks, thanks very much for your continuing support ^^^ I’ll respond to some of your questions/observations:

Quote:

the polperro harbour webcam

Good point. There are actually numerous webcams in Looe, which is a larger place. However, the problem with webcams from a Safari perspective is that they are usually up high and people are too small to make out any discernible features.

Quote:

sadly there was not much anger from the lads

I admit it, although there is a reason. I am keeping the Oga on the hook and he is claiming to be seeking a third Lad for Safari 3. As for Evans, since he got home he has reflected on his 2 nightmare trips. Here is one of his recent emails to me:

Quote:

> I can SEe THE game u play now , you only trying foolong People as your revenge but i know you cant continue like this. You are a fool.

Quote:

Have you ever managed to...getting 2 safaris with one lad?

Yes. Hell Safari (link in my signature) is one, although that pales into insignificance in comparison with the incredible travels of the madman that is Hector.

Quote:

Why the hell did he go for Stanstead

I told him to fly to Newquay and take the 36 miles, 50-minute taxi ride to Looe. Instead, he flew into Stansted and took a 300 miles, 5-hour taxi ride!

Posted: Tue Sep 27, 2016 10:36 am

Geography is clearly not this lad's strong point. Hasn't he heard of trains?

Posted: Tue Sep 27, 2016 11:51 am

Monsignor wrote:

I told him to fly to Newquay

As it is I don't think he could have picked a less convenient airport unless he was hell bent on the shortest possible flight time. I'm often amazed how bad some lads are at route planning and even basic navigation. it's shameful really.

Stansted to Cornwall in a taxi, god damn Laughing

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