Second-hand GOAT-WOW in mint condition up for auction!

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Posted: Thu Mar 03, 2016 7:08 pm

Hello! It's me, Bankster. If like me you've been here for much longer than nine out of ten doctors would recommend if someone bothered to ask them, you probably remember the famous GOAT-WOW auction. If you're a relative newbie, no worries! Read the original auction thread for more info and check out the testimonials to see for yourself what the GOAT-WOW can do. It's amazing!

Since only 20 have ever been made and only 11 have ever been sold, you probably don't own one.

Well, it's your lucky day! My GOAT-WOW is looking for a new place to stay. She's still as beautiful as on the first day and as cuddly as a quilt can be. She's just not happy with my new minimalistic lifestyle and deserves better than being stored in a cold, dark box for who knows how many years. That's why she's looking for a new place to stay.

Since nothing worth having comes free, I've obtained jose_cuervo's permission to auction her off. All proceeds go towards keeping 419eater.com and scamwarners.com running.
Just like the original auction, opening bid is USD 25.00 or the equivalent in gold dust, with a $5.00 minimum bid to raise, payable to 419eater.com via the donation system. Cheques and blackened dollar bills not accepted.

Shipping is free - all I need is a postal address. It's up to you whether to have her sent to your home or a trusted third party. (I'm trustworthy, but of course that's exactly what I'd say if I weren't.)

This is how it works:
You PM me your bid. If you're the highest bidder, I'll let you know. If somebody outbids you, I'll PM you so you can in turn outbid that bastard. The name of the current highest bidder will continuously be posted in this thread.

The auction ends on Sunday the 13th around 18:00 GMT or whenever I can be arsed to read my PMs.

The winner of the auction is Merry Widow.

And this is what you'll get:

Goat #3 from her best side:

Certificate of authenticity (lacking the RSOT so probably fake):

Depending on the mood I'm in, I may also throw in any of the following at no additional cost:

some Swiss chocolate (which is so much better than Belgian chocolate),
a glow-in-the-dark condom that may or may not have had a small hole poked in it,
an autographed Dr Pepper,
assorted toenail clippings,
a cute plush flower that plays Happy Birthday when you squeeze its leaf,
anything the dog brought into the house without permission.

Place your bid now to become the proud owner of an original, one-of-a-kind, handmade GOAT-WOW! Not only will it make you wildly popular with people of both genders, it'll also improve your love life, stimulate your digestion and make that itch on your private parts disappear. Don't pass up on this golden opportunity!

ETA: If Branwen wins, she'll get the toenail clippings.

Posted: Thu Mar 03, 2016 7:14 pm

is WU acceptable form of payment? Laughing

Posted: Thu Mar 03, 2016 7:16 pm

I suppose it depends on whether there are additional security questions to be answered or pictures to be taken. Laughing

Posted: Thu Mar 03, 2016 7:30 pm

There always are, I figure you'd know the operational security by now. Very Happy

Posted: Thu Mar 03, 2016 7:47 pm

I'm jose_cuervo, and I approve this message. Laughing

Posted: Thu Mar 03, 2016 8:18 pm

Bankster wrote:

stored in a cold, dark box

Much like jose himself

Bankster wrote:

an autographed Dr Pepper,

If I am the winning bidder can I just have the Dr Pepper?

Posted: Thu Mar 03, 2016 8:30 pm

I am the happy owner of one of the nine which didn't go to the auction. It hangs on my wall, and I can tell you that these quilts are big, and they are beautiful - and are really worth bidding for.

And Bankster is a good chap too. Even if he doesn't know that Belgian chocolate is far far better than Swiss.

Posted: Thu Mar 03, 2016 8:32 pm

I donated my goat to an un-named member, years ago. I'm getting a goat back!

Put my name next to it, Bankster. You have a PM.

Sure, I could just bait mrs_cuervo into making me another one, but I fear it would be much harder this time around, as she's already been baited once.

Posted: Thu Mar 03, 2016 8:36 pm

Quote:

Even if he doesn't know that Belgian chocolate is far far better than Swiss.

Lies! How much did Caligula pay you for posting that?

Posted: Thu Mar 03, 2016 8:41 pm

I've been baiting as a jihadist too long... I've started to develop a love for goats. Shocked

Bid completed... o

Posted: Thu Mar 03, 2016 8:45 pm

This has gotten very interesting way faster than I anticipated. Smile

@B8er, I never said the can was full. Wink

Posted: Thu Mar 03, 2016 11:16 pm

Bankster wrote:

The current high bidder is Padme.

Posted: Fri Mar 04, 2016 1:51 am

Vintage goat-so cool! Cool

Not quite a Newb Joined: 14 Jul 2005 Posts: 41

Mrs. Cuervo truly did a great job on the quilts - to whomever wins the bid: It will be well worth it! Very Happy

I am somewhat disappointed by the lack of mandatory Jell-O wrestling in the bidding process, though.

Posted: Fri Mar 04, 2016 11:16 am

^^^ If you and jose want to Jell-O wrestle then don't let us stop you.

Posted: Fri Mar 04, 2016 2:17 pm

I'm one day closer to that goat...

Posted: Fri Mar 04, 2016 7:19 pm

Well that escalated quickly. Laughing

And mods don't jello wrestle, we prefer mayonnaise.

Posted: Fri Mar 04, 2016 7:29 pm

^ Is that going to a Pay Per View event?

Posted: Fri Mar 04, 2016 7:50 pm

Hello, I'm N.O.R.A and I found this forum because I was looking for a nice pair of red shoes on the Internet.

Posted: Fri Mar 04, 2016 8:05 pm

Hello N.O.R.A. Laughing

Posted: Fri Mar 04, 2016 10:03 pm

N!O!R!A!

Long time. Smile

Trophy Videos · Posted: Fri Mar 04, 2016 10:05 pm

As one almost owner, but temporary caretaker of bravo95's Goat-WOW quilt, I just want to make one comment.

If you win the bid, immediately unbox it and hang "her" on the wall.
Why?
Because the constant bleating until you do will keep the entire family awake all night, and ruin your popularity. If you are too ashamed to admit where you got it and what exactly "your so-called friends here" do, then don't bid at all. You are not Goat-WOW worthy.

Hi, my favorite mentee, N.O.R.A. Very Happy

You been stredded in N. Korea again? Glad to see you broke out if only for a short time.

Posted: Sat Mar 05, 2016 11:23 am

N.O.O.A! Welcome back-pull up a lad as well as a quilt!

Posted: Sat Mar 05, 2016 9:11 pm

Another day closer to that goat....

Posted: Sat Mar 05, 2016 9:21 pm

Hello NORA! It's good to see you. I'm afraid there are no red shoes, but could I interest you in an obscenely exclusive goat quilt?

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