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 Ditched by my 'daughter' Alice!

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Master Baiter

Joined: 28 Nov 2004
Posts: 193
Location: The real world...

PostPosted: Mon Dec 13, 2004 8:43 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Hmm, think I may have scared her off. It was my first bait though - please make comments/suggestions..


Dear loving one ,
My name is Mlle Alice am writing from Ivory Coast in West Africa. I am from a good Christian family, with God fearing character. Please I will like you to deeply read a meaning to my mail if you are in position to accept my request or you will look for some one who is really in need of a daughter and knows the value of a child.
Therefore I want to know if you will adopt me as your daughter or any other thing, your wealth is not interesting me but if you will take me as your own and I promise that I will be a good child to you also ready to offer any assistance a child can offer to his parent's to enable us live in peace and joy to serve the Lord our God with all our heart.
Secondly I will like you to assist me retrieve our family treasure my father keptBefore his death. I am in a sincere desire of your humble assistance in this regards. Your suggestions and ideas will be highly regarded.
Finally any other information you will like to know I am willing to discuss it with you.
Also beware that this decision is from my real heart and I will not like you to take it as a joke or tricks.
Hoping to hear from you soon.
May God almighty bless you and your family.
Mlle Alice.

Dear, dear Alice,

I read your beautiful email about wishing to be adopted by Western
parents and I believe I could fulfil that role for you. My husband and
I never had children of our own, it just never seemed the right time,
what with running our own chain of adult shops we've always been so
busy. Now I'm in the winter of my years and have no children to carry
on the business we have dedicated our lives to building. Please please
let me know what I can do to help you.


Dear Mum,
Thanks for your mail. I am Alice as I said ealier 17 years old, I live in Ilot 354 Daloa cote d'ivoire in west Africa, regarding to my request I will be very happy if you will adopt me and also help me to retrieve all my late parents tresures. As of now I don't know how you will do it but I strongly believe in you that you will do it for me.

Remember I don't have any body hear is only on you I put my trust, I will like to know if it will be possible for you to visit me in my country so that I will come to Abidjan but if not then you will tell me on how you want us to procced, attach is my pictures and I will like to know more about your family.

May God be with you.

Attached photos:

Hello again Alice,

Thanks you so much for your email. The pictures were lovely, you are a
very pretty girl. You asked to hear more about my family, so here it
is: My husband and I have lived here in London since we got married
when we were 18. Together we have built up a very successful chain of
adult shops which has allowed us to buy a beautiful country house
outside of the busy city centre. Like I said, we have no children of
our own but if you join our family you will find yourself with many
cousins - my brother's children.

So, lets get down to business. What exactly does this adoption
business entail? I assume there will be forms and documents to
arrange. It will be very difficult for me to visit you at the moment
because it is Christmas time and most of the flights will already be
booked, not to mention very expensive. I assume you are going to live
with us here in London. I can arrange membership to out local church
(we are a very religious couple), university or even find a job for
you if you'd like.

Looking forward to hearing from you again my daughter.

Chick .N. Ugget.

Dear Mum,

I am very glad for your mail, and after reading it I went to meet an old pastor that do give me food for some times and we went to the local goverment to inquire about it and they said every thing will be ok and they will need your full information and we will register and the form will be given and we will pay. but the old pastor said that he don't have money for it that we have to do the expencess but he will help me to go to court and local government to do the process and he will take care of me to guide me till i travel but every thing depens on you that he will like to discuss with you and hear from you then i told him know problem till I get in touch with you. this si how i went therefore when i hear from you i will know if you need his number so that i will collect it to enable you discuss with him. secondly i am very very happy for your mail brifing and i promise that i will be a good child to you and family i am a realy christian i have a mmaner of christian child i will not talk much untill i visit you and i will make you and dad to have more joy, peace and long life. i hope dad also is haapy of having me in the family?

finally mum when i hear from you i will know exactly what to do because they said is possible to do it with out you coming to my country.

remain blesse

your daugther

Hello my daughter,

Below is my information:

Mrs Chick N. Ugget

4 Bondage Crescent
Little Whippington

Is there anything else you need to know? Your new father is very glad
to have you join our family. Do you have any other siblings you can
bring with you? We are so desperate for children you see.

Of course I would like to speak with your pastor, our telephone is
currently out of action though, we are having work done to the house
and the buggers sliced through the line! I'll let you know as soon as
it is reconnected, until then it's best not to call because the
recorded error message you will get is very expensive to listen to.

Looking forward to hearing from you,


Dear Mummy,

Thanks for your mail and information, I will go to the office immediately then they will tell me the next thing to do and we will fill the form and submitt it to them and after that they will tell us on how to go and get the cour affidavit but mum I don't have money to pay for the documents will you pay that for me? please I will like to hear from you to enable me know what to do.

My regards to the family.

Yours daugther


Dear Alice,

Thank you for your email, it is always so lovely to hear from my girl.
I will be happy to fill in and pay for any documents but before we go
any further, I'd like you to tell me your plans for when you come to
the UK. What exactly would you like to do here? would you like to go
to a university to study or would you rather join our family business
and work in one of our adult shops? The nearest one is in Little
Whippington itself and within walking distance from your new home.

I need to know these details because there are certain forms I need to
complete in order for you to become a legal citizen here. Basically,
they want to know that you are coming to this country because there is
something here that is not available to you where you are at the
moment, such as education or employment. Please think about it and let
me know so I can get the documents to you as soon as possible.

I also recommend that you join our local church. Being registered as
belonging to a church here will not only improve your chances of being
accepted as a citizen but religion is a big part of our lives that you
need to be included in if you are to become part of our family. Again,
I am happy to pay for and provide the appropriate forms.

Write back soon, my daughter, hearing from you brightens up my day.

Dear mum,

Thanks for your mail, I went to the office and every thing is in the right direction, regarding to the church issue I don't think I can live in this world with out having Christ first in my life therefore the church matter will be the first priority i love it and i am already a member of the church register my name immediately please, also about what i have to do when i come, I want to be honest with you there I hope I need your advice because I am ready to do any thing you will propose for me either to study more or to join you in the business I don't want to come to be a borden to you rather I want to be a helping hand to the family, I will like you to think about it and know how it will be better for us to do it and take the necessary position on it. I hope by tomorrow i will inform you all the other steps, because since the war crises here the offices are not working in the right direction therefore i want to make sure that every thing will be easy and costless for us.

Have a nice night

Your daugther

My dear Alice,

Thank you once again for your email. I have attached the application
form for you to become a member of our church. Please complete this
and return it to me as soon as possible. Once this is done, we can
complete the official government documents and send them all off
together in order to get your British Citizen's Permit.

I really cannot wait to see you! I told one of the boys that works in
my shop about you and he was very eager to meet you. Perhaps I could
send you a photo of him? He saw yours and said you were very

I must go, my daughter, and make lunch for my husband.

Your Mum.

Dear Mum,

Thanks for your mail, Mum is very hard ooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!, I went to the office since morning is now I just come back they said that I will pay 310.000cfa and I will meet a lawyer who will go and legalise the documents also the lawyer will get a letter of Affidavit for you in your name. please mum am tired so this is not a small matter I said i have hard therefore this is what the problem now i don't have any thing to do this I lost all my documents when we are runing out from war zone and they said that the government is aware, mum please i will like you to do some thing for me to enaéble this sought out so that i will be able to get the papers and I will be glad to join you, i just se the form and i will check tomorrow where i will print it out to fill because here there is no printing machine, also mum i will like to see the picture of the boy. is he a christian? Mum I have a question for you what did you like best?

Finally mum i will be happy to see your mail regarding this money is it too much in your place? please every hope is on you try to discuss it with daddy to enable him know what to do.

Be happy

Dear Alice,

My girl, I can see that you must be very desperate and I will do
everything I can to help you. I am happy to pay all the costs for the
documents and things, just as long as it gets you here to me safely.
However, daddy is very concerned about your seriousness in joining our
church - I must admit he very particular about religious matters- and
since we have a joint bank account, he won't release any money to me
until we have your completed form. I will talk to him again but I'm
afraid that he won't change his mind on this matter.

Arnold Putty is a lovely Christian boy, I'm sure you would like him as
much as we do. I will take a photo of him tomorrow if I get the time
and then you will be able to see what he looks like. Perhaps I could
even give him your address so the two of you could speak?

Looking forward to hearing from you again,


Dear Mum,

Please I want you to look at this form No.4 I hope I am free to say any thing I want, also No2. I am confused about it because I am still a virgin therefore I don't know what to write on that side. Finally this is my first time of hearing about this church what is the Aim of the church and i will be glad all is well noted I will not just to make you happy, now this is church matter I have to know all to enable me also evangalise about the church atleast your caracter have proved that this is a place where people worship God but I need to hear from you, i will be carring daddy's bible to church and classes dose it look funny?

Mum I love you with all my heart please i need answers to my question to enable me print it out tomorrow and send it.

Bye mum

Dear Alice,

Thank you for such a fast reply. I can see that you are as eager as I
am for you to come to live with us! It would be lovely if this could
be completed before Christmas, but if not, I will buy you a few
presents and save them for when you arrive!

With regards to your questions, I expected you to still be a virgin,
my dear, as you are a Christian girl, but sometimes people that join
our church are older than you and married and more experienced. This
is why there is such a question on the form - the same form is sent
out to everybody. If you wish to marry a boy someday, write "men" in
the space, otherwise you may write that you are a virgin. I will leave
it up to you.

Our Church is based on the ways and lifestyle of the Church Of
England, following the ten commandments and such like. It's name is in
honour of the patron saint of our village - Marcus Grundmeister, but
we follow the same principles as any standard Christian church, and
this is why I know you will be welcome and accepted here.

I hope that answers your questions my dear.

I hope to hear from you soon.

Dear Mum,
How are you doing and the family? I hope every body are ok, I just fill the form and I hope daddy will be glad, I will be waiting for the good news from your side regarding how to pay the money to collect all the documents for you.
Have a nice weekend
Your daugther


Dear Alice,

Thank you so much for completing the form, but you have forgotten one
thing - the photo is supposed to show you holding a sign reading "The
Church Of The Holy Grundmeister" in order to demonstrate your
commitment. I know its a little annoying but its a security measure to
prove that the person in the photograph is really you. If you send me
the photo with the sign, I can attach it to the form myself to save
you the trouble, I don't want you to have to go to more effort than is
necessary. After all, a mother should look after her children. Daddy
was very pleased with your answers however and he has allowed me to
attach a photograph of Arnold..what do you think of him? He doesn't
normally dress like that of course! He's taking in part in one a
promotion for our shop, we had a special on handcuffs and bondage
tape. You can imagine that he really helped the sales! He's such a
good looking boy.

Anyway, dear. I must pop down to the local council offices and find
out what other documentation we need for your citizen's permit. All I
know so far is that we must provide a compeleted job application form
along with an offical job offer. Any other documents can probably be
sorted out when you arrive.

Looking forward to hearing from you my dear,



Dear Mum,

Thanks and god bless you for all this




That was a very short email. Are you OK? What did you think of Arnold?
How do we proceed next, I need to get the money to you somehow. Please
write back quickly, I'm worrying about you.



My daughter, I write this to you as a very confused and disappointed
mother. I was showing the photographs of you to some of my friends, as
proud mothers do, and one of them said they've seen you before on the
internet. I didn't believe her, of course, and we had quite a big
argument, which explains my black eye. Anyway, I want you to follow
this link and explain why you have been lying to your poor mother. Can
I still trust you Alice?

Yours in tears,

And I've not heard back from her since, considering she used to reply within 30 mins, I think I may have been dumped. Ah well...plenty more mugus in the sea...!
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