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 Mrs Asshat - 99 44/100 leet free!

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Snothead
419Eater is my life


Joined: 12 Dec 2015
Posts: 392
Location: Having no tea on the Heart of Gold


PostPosted: Sun Jan 17, 2016 4:55 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

This is my second bait. It's just a plain Jain straight bait but I had a blast doing it.It runs 38 pages in Writer so it's a long read.

I managed to drag it out for a couple of months. I paced my emails on delaying all I felt prudent while proceeding to be eagerly and thoroughly scammed.


I am Rev Ib3n W3igh Overdrawn of the Word Rev3aled 3vangelical Church - MY CHARACTER or ME

Names have been changed to insult the guilty.

Ladette (or Lad) - Mrs D3bby Asam0h of Universal B4nk Of Ghana. herein referred to Mrs Debby Asshat of HER BANK and her Barrister J0nathan M3ssah hereafter known as Lad lawyer And my late lamented rich relative Jonathan Overdrawn Herein known as Dead Rich Uncle John.


First a bare hook enters the water.


Quote:


Dear MY CHARACTER,

Compliments and good day to you and your family.

I write you this mail as a reminder once more having waited patiently for your response to my initial contact with you through snail mail.

However since I assume you did not get it I want to use this medium even though it might not be the best form of communication in matters like this due to the ever growing disbelief and illicit scams and fraud associated with it, I seem to have no choice than to make use of it, coupled with the fact that it might be just perfect due to the ability to redeem time.

Without wasting much of your time I am Mrs. Debby Asshat, an accountant with fake-bank-name-redacted of Ghana I want to bring you into a business venture which I think should be of interest and concern to you, since it has to do with a perceived late family member of yours this is because there is a substantial amount of funds which I suspect is tied to a distant family member of yours.

However I need to be sure that you must have received this communication so I will not divulge much information  about it until i get a response from you.

Kindly respond back to me.

Best Regards,

Mrs Debby Asshat



I spit the bare hook and introduce the church and stupid secretary for use later if needed.

Quote:


Ms Asshat,
RE: Snail-mail problem I have to LOL to keep from crying. The church secretary is very diligently over zealous in throwing away anything SHE deems as junk-mail. Sometimes parishioners and other donors checks end up in a landfill.

How may I help you?

ME

Back comes the hook with a big ole juicy worm on it!
Quote:

Dear Respected MY CHARACTER,

Thanks for your mail. I am indeed honored to receive your response.

I would respectfully request that you keep the contents of this mail confidential and respect the integrity of the information you come by as a result of this mail. I want you to read my lips and take my words very seriously because i am about to tell you something you need to hear. If this deal fails to succeed it will be traceable to the fact that you didn't carry out your responsibility, your active participation and commitment to this deal is crucial

As the Head of department (H.O.D) for the HER BANK , I contacted you basically on this subject whom I believe would be of interest to you. It is regarding the estate of a deceased client who shares the same last name with you and had funds placed under our banks management some years ago.

Please know I contact you independently and no one is informed of this communication. This is where i play a role as an (insider). There is a dormant account that has existed for 7 years without a trace to the account holder’s personal details. An investigation team has given a report of the untraceable search of the account holder.  The balance on that account is $47,370,000.00 (Forty seven million three hundred and seventy thousand us dollars.) No soul will ever come for this money. The beauty of this deal is that you share the same family name with the account holder, so it makes the job easier for a registered lawyer in Ghana to present you as the next of kin to the deceased client and the entire money will be transferred to you.

This is the reason why i have the confidence to say that as long i am involved in this deal i have already fulfilled my part or role in this deal. Because I have seen the end from the beginning before contacting you. Nobody is getting hurt; this is a lifetime opportunity for us. I hold the KEY to these funds, and as a Ghanaian National we see so much cash and funds being re-assigned often. I would want us to keep communication for now strictly by the emails. I will provide you with my telephone number as soon as your allegiance is confirmed.

Please, again, note I am a family woman; I have  children. I send you this mail not without a measure of fear as to t the consequences, but I know within me that nothing ventured is nothing gained and that success and riches never come easy or on a platter of gold. This is the one truth I have learned from my private banking clients. Do not betray my confidence. If we can be of one accord, we should act swiftly on this. Now i have to wait to get your confirmation that you understand this deal before i can proceed to tell you your roles and responsibilities to make this deal a success. Please pardon any writing mistakes.
 
I am eagerly waiting to read your mail.

Regards
Mrs Debby Asshat


I give her character a little stroke and try to nudge her off script a bit with a couple of reasonable questions.. I expand on the church a bit to explain my lack of eagerness and greed. The “missions” may be handy in the future.
Quote:

Mrs. Asshat,
Please just call me ME.

That is a very large sum of money. I appreciate the fears and caution you expressed as a family and professional woman. I assure you of my candor in this matter.

That being said you will understand that I also have some concerns. Is this money the proceeds of any illegal activity such as drug or arms dealings? Will my accepting this money break any US or international laws. What is your official capacity in this matter? Are you the only fiduciarial agent involved with this account?

I want you to understand that I am not interested out of any personal greed. I am a semi-retired business man. I have a comfortable income from my retirement. I am currently an Assistant Pastor. I get no income from the church but they provide me with a small apartment and an small living stipend.

Any of the money from this arrangement will be used for the benefit of the church. Specifically our South American and West African missions.

Regards



She stays on script and replies via a new email address.

Quote:


Dear Respected ME,

Thanks for your mail. I am honored to receive your response of cooperation and readiness to work with me to make this business venture a success.

The only way to achieve our goal is through the services of a seasoned Lawyer who is vast in this field with immeasurable achievements, as a matter of fact, i was told of a lawyer who has handled similar cases for clients with other banks, so i know he is the best candidate who can possess the legal fitness to achieve our objectives because i heard he is seasoned in Administrative, Family and Tax Laws.

1) You must not let the lawyer know that you got this deal from an insider in the bank.
2)You will be required to contact the lawyer yourself with an introduction letter that will be composed by me to you.
3)You will be required to follow the guidelines from the lawyer and always update me as it progresses.

Once the administrative department get an application on the funds with valid documents from the Law firm, the file will definitely pass through my desk for endorsement as the HOD before the GH for final approval. I therefore assure you that i will use my position to influence the process for APPROVALS.

Concerning the sharing of money after a successful deal we will share it equally as it is only fair that since i brought it to your notice despite the fact that it has a very minute possibility of actually belonging to a long lost and unknown relative of yours, it is however clear that without my mentioning it to you, you will never have known about these funds or its existence. So it is with this in mind that I propose a right down the middle split of the funds.

I will obtain the contact details of the lawyer of which i will email you with a composed mail written by me that you will send to him; this however is subject to your prompt response of this message. If you are ready to proceed send me your passport copy and your address and telephone number to enable me compose the mail to you that you will send to the law firm to represent you.

Please if you have read this mail, let me know your comments.

Regards



I accept her instruction and try again to get her off script and kill some time with what I consider very reasonable questions.

Quote:


Dear Mrs Asshat

I agree that it is more than fair of you to split the money 50/50. I understand the need for secrecy and I will not divulge anything about you to the lawyer. Please address my concerns in my last email.....

Is this money the proceeds of any illegal activity such as drug or arms dealings? Will my accepting this money break any US or international laws. What is your official capacity in this matter? Are you the only fiduciarial agent involved with this account?

Thank you



Woo Hoo! I got her a bit off script and I feel a bond of trust developing between us. NOT! I'll let about a day pass before sending her my characters particulars.

Quote:


Dear Respected ME,

Thanks for your mail.

I am indeed happy to read from you today. I want you to know that your involvement in this business venture those not break any international law or united States law.

This funds is not to be used for any illegal activities such as arms or war. This is a deal I am involved in just to give my children a better future.

My position is that once the application get to the administrative department of the bank i will take over the responsibility and process until the funds are approved in your favor by the bank and transfer to your bank account. My position as the Head of Department (H.O.D) give me the right to make important decisions concerning the approval of the funds.

I want you to know that I am the only one involved in this deal and there is no other person aware of this dealing with you.

Please send send me the details I request details to enable me draft the letter that i will send to you to send to the law firm to represent you. Your urgent response will be highly appreciated.

Regards



I stroke her a little more and begin to show a little excitement! This thing is real and it's going to happen! I hope my concern for her getting her share bumps her a little further off script and makes her scramble to fill a gap in her legend. I wouldn’t want her to not get her $23,685.000 to brighten her children's future a wee bit. The strained vocal cords could develop into an infection that preclude my talking on the phone.

All the info is fake except for a real K7 number. I'm going to ignore the request for passport scan for now. If she comes back for it it will waste another day or two and she still wont get it. The address does not exist in this universe. The church has the beginnings of a free website just in case it's needed. Watch out for embedded “Old Fogies Test”

Quote:


Mrs Asshat,

Sorry for the delay getting back to you. Wednesdays are usually my busiest day of the week. We have Wed. night prayer meetings and it is also the day that Sister Mary Ellie Faunt and I visit the shut-ups. Those are the parishioners that are shut up in their homes or in the hospital because of illness or age. To top it all off I strained my voice giving the sermon. I have a doctors appointment later today.

Enough chit-chat. I'm starting to get excited. It's starting to sink in that this deal is real and is going to happen! Our church can fund missions, clinics and orphanages all over the world just using the interest earned by the money! What a blessing! Of course it will be a huge blessing not only to your children but to their future families for many generations. I bet you are as excited as I am.

One thing I am concerned about is, how I am to ensure you get your share of the money without mentioning you to the lawyer?
Here is the information you requested. I live in a small apartment behind the church.

Full name: MY CHARACTER
Address:
C.O. MY CHURCH
229 Fake Street
Montebello, CA 90640
Employment: Assistant Pastor

Phone K7 number
Many Thanks


Mrs Asshat is right back on script with nary a care for her children's future She either didn't read about how I was to get her share or she doesn't have a good plug for that hole in her little scheme.
She makes no further mention of the passport scan. Good, I was dreading that battle and I would hate for a bad scan or a corrupt JPG file to be a deal breaker.
Quote:

Dear Respected ME,
Thanks for your mail.
 
I am very honored to receive your full contact details.

Without delay i will advise you send the below email to the Lawyer today. Find below also the contact details of the lawyer. Copy the below compose mail and send to the lawyer today so that he can prepare the document in your name and summit to the bank to transfer the funds to your bank account.

LAWYER DETAILS.

Lad lawyer LAW CHAMB3R
Name: Barrister Lad lawyer
E-mail redact


Attn: Barrister Lad lawyer

Good day to you and your family. I am Rev. MY CHARACTER from United States of America. I write to request your assistance and to solicit on my behalf regarding the account of a close relative of mine who has been confirmed dead and has operated a bank account in HER BANK with the account details as follows

Bank Name: HER BANK
Account Name: Rich Dead Uncle John
Account number: redact
Swift: redact
Available: Balance: $47,370,000.00

The above account information was updated to me by the customer care department over the telephone and i was informed that the account is dormant and inactive with the available balance $47,370,000.00  Due to the fact that i am aware of the death of my relative and the fact that no beneficiary was stated on the bank documents, i have decided to present myself as the next of kin in other to secure the hard earned money of my relative as his only surviving relative.

I have tried to communicate with the administrative department of the bank regarding my claim and i was given a favorable information that its only a registered Law Firm in Ghana that is capable of making my claim a reality through valid proofs. I have made inquiries and i was referred to you by a friend working with Fid3lity C0mm3rcial Bank. Kindly give relevant help and guidelines regarding this issue.

Regards
MY CHARACTER
C.O. MY CHURCH
229 Fake Blvd
Montebello, CA 90640



She may not be concerned with how to get her share but, dang it, **I care........ I CARE! **
The tax issue may be a good time waster. If the money all passes through me and it taxed 50% before I kick back her share then her children would be forced to make do with only $11,842,500.00!

Quote:


Mrs Asshat,

I read over the introductory letter and it looks fine. I will send it to him as instructed.

I am surprised that you failed to address my concern about how to get your share of the money to you without revealing your existence to Barrister Lad lawyer. I would like to clear this up before I contact him.
I am also checking on some tax issues. I'm concerned that the IRS will take a big bite out of the money. It could be up to 40 or 50%. OUCH! However I do believe that if the beneficiary of the money is the church instead of myself then there will be no taxes. I'll see what I can find out. Barrister Lad lawyer may know how to avoid the taxes. I will broach the subject to him.

Keep Well, We shall get this thing done!



Little Debby sure is a trusting soul and cares not a wit about rendering to Caesar his due.

Quote:


Dear ME,

Thanks for your mail.

Getting my share is a very easy matter, once you receive the funds in your bank account i will provide you with a bank account you will wire my share into. Please contact the lawyer and get the process start and inform me when the application will get to the bank so i can prepare myself on time.

Regards



Now I lay it on thick and sweet in a little time waster and establish why I wont be doing any talking on the phone to anyone, just in case.

Quote:


Mrs Asshat,

Thank you for your trust. I assure you that it is not misplaced and I will not let you down or betray that trust. If I may be so bold, you seem to be both a professional and family woman of honesty and good character. Your children are fortunate to have such a role model to look up to.

I will get the email you prepared for the lawyer sent soon so it will be in his inbox waiting for him on Monday morning when he arrives for work
.
I hope he is a good tax lawyer so we can avoid paying millions in taxes. There would still be plenty left for both of us but it would still be a shame to let it go if we don't need to.

I must go now. I was supposed to give the sermon tomorrow but what I thought was strained vocal cords has gotten much worse. I can barely speak but I can't get in to see the doctor again until Monday. Fortunately Deacon Jones has volunteered to do the sermon.  I will just sit back and rest my throat and listen. LOL

I am praying hard for success in our venture!



The mask (and her English) slips a little when Ole Debbers misunderstands what I'm saying about the taxes. She sets me straight in a hurry! Some people just can't accept complements graciously.

Quote:


Dear ME,
 
Thanks for your mail.
 
The funds have not been recoverref, which funds will the lawyer been using to pay for tax in your mail. You cannot talk about payment from the funds from funds in a bank and as not been approved, more over the lawyer do not have the right to temper with the funds so if you think the lawyer will pay for any money from the funds you better have a re think because this funds is lying in the bank and have not approved in your favor, i wounder were you are coming from with your suggestion which cannot happen.
 
It only funds that as been approved and transfer to your bank account account tax can be deducted from not the lawyer because the lawyer is not the owner of the funds and can never have access or authority over the funds. I want to know if you have contacted the lawyer.
 
Regards



I chide he a bit about her tone, I hope she isn't getting too twiggy as I have a few hoops for the barrister lad to jump through. I want Mrs. Asshat on my side should the good barrister and I have any (almost guaranteed) conflict. It is also good for another 24hr delay.

_________________
Closed lad accounts <-- I will name him George and I will hold him and pet him and squeeze him....
Closed lad accounts <-- George II - XXIII
X7
United States <--My first one but at least its 'Mercan
NigeriaNetherlandsPanamaUnited StatesCanada
you are not qualified. you are just a stupid more than f**king foolish fake pastor
Thank you, you f**king lie bitch and your collaborating f**king scamming idiot.
i have already contacted a real and obidient partner not a fake foolish idiot like you
you are a big liar liaring with the name of God and you will receive punishment from God almighty that is what I promise
Nigerian Pigs, you all are known for your stupidity online, you are really stupid mumu idiot . Middle Finger , you will not see even 1 Naira idiot
#2 member of the Nigerian Pigs Club

Last edited by Snothead on Sun Jan 17, 2016 5:25 pm; edited 2 times in total
View user's profileSend private messageSkype Name
Snothead
419Eater is my life


Joined: 12 Dec 2015
Posts: 392
Location: Having no tea on the Heart of Gold


PostPosted: Sun Jan 17, 2016 4:56 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Quote:


Mrs Asshat,

I believe we have had a small misunderstanding. I am surprised at the curt and angry tone of your email considering your past amicable tone especially after I paid you what I thought was a nice compliment.
To clear up this matter, the taxes I referred to were taxes that I might have to pay to the US IRS ***after*** I have received the money. I merely expressed hope that the lawyer would know how to lessen or eliminate that tax burden.
I have not contacted the lawyer yet because I wanted to make sure that everything was straight between us. I also wanted to talk to a tax accountant friend of mine (without mentioning our little deal).

Once I hear back from you that we are in good accord I will send him the email.
I will be out for a little while in the morning at the doctor for my throat but other than that I am free all day.

Best Regards



3:22 AM Ghana time I get this reply. Her tone is very in other? I don't think she's had her coffee yet.

Quote:


Dear ME,

Thanks for your mail.

My tone is very in other, I just want you to know that funds that has  not been applied should not be talking about taxes.

There is no much time, I wounder why you have not contacted the lawyer up till now when I have already draft the letter and send to you. Every thing is fine with me I am waiting for your action.

Regards



Action she wants, action she gets. I squeeze off the email that she composed for me to the illustrious barrister. The easiest way to keep Deb current on my dealings with the lawyer would be to BCC her but then she wouldn't have to pretend she is ignorant of my dealings with them.
Quote:

Attn: Barrister Lad lawyer,

***************Content snipped same as provided to me above.************

Regards
MY CHARACTER



Two days later I am contacted by the illustrious barrister with a 3 page PDF attachment. Future emails from Lad lawyer Johnny look like this but have everything but the body of the email clipped to save space.

Quote:


          LAD LAWYER LAW CHAMBER
 
 
  To:
       MY CHARACTER
       C.O. MY CHURCH
       229 Fake Blvd
       Montebello, CA 90640
       Usa
       K7 Number
      
         
Attention: MY CHARACTER,
 
We receive the Application by mail you sent to us to solicit on your behalf to recover the funds of your diseased relation from HER BANK
 
Your application contract file number GH/AW/2907/22/12/15. With  due consultations, attached is the precedent conditions to recover your diseased relation funds from HER BANK

Regards.

Lad lawyer LAW CHAMBER

Barrister Lad lawyer Esq 
email redact
Plot 7208 Medina Road
 Accra Ghana
phone redact



Image

Image

Image

I give the lawyer a little test to see how pliable he might be with a reasonable request.

Quote:


Barrister Lad lawyer Esq.

I am pleased to receive your email and have read the requirements listed in your attachment.
Items F,G,H,I and J will take a day or two to get. I will keep you posted on my progress.

I do not want to besmirch your character, reputation or feelings but as you know people can claim to be anyone on the internet. It would ease my mind greatly if while you are waiting for me to get the requirements fulfilled you would provide me a scan or photo of your Ghana law license. This should not be a problem as licenses are part of the public record in most countries. You may of course mark the copy as NOT FOR ID. to prevent misuse should emails go astray.

I hope my communications above are clear. The Doctor has me on pain relievers for my throat infection and they tend to make me a little befuddled some times.

I hope to have pleasant and mutually profitable business dealings with you.

Rev. MY CHARACTER



I let Deb know that I've been in touch with the lawyer but fail to mention my little request for his credentials. I accidentally attach the wrong PDF and Deb has a cabinet hinge catalog for her amusement. I ask her about certain items in the “requirement”that I know from reading other baits that her character is supposed to supply some of them.

F, Full names of the deceased
G, Bank particulars of where the money is domiciled
H, Death certificate of the deceased
I, Date and place of death
J, Cause of death

Quote:


Mrs. Asshat,

It will please you to hear that I have contacted the lawyer and heard back from him. I sent him only and exactly the email that you composed.

 He has sent me a PDF form with a list of the requirements to proceed. Please find it attached.

Items F,G,H,I and J concern me. I hope you can provide them or can direct me to who can help.

I must go now as the pain pills for my throat cause drowsiness and nausea.

Regards



Meanwhile I have the following exchange with my barrister. The lad logic is unfathomable..He (literally) can't even spell ethics.

Quote:


Attention: MY CHARACTER,
 
Sorry your request is against our professional enthics and we can not comply to your request. This chamber will never give you any license or identity because we are representing you and you have no right to ask any official license from our chamber.
 
If you are not confortable with our service, please look for another solicitor. We can also appreciate if you present yourself to our office so make your findings in person.



I push back maybe a little hard but dammit he works for me. I chose not to educate the lad that there was an on-line list of members in good standing for the GBA and that he aint on it. My fear was that future Lad lawyers would use the ID of an ITP real lawyer. I seriously doubt that any of them will misuse the GBA Code of Ethics.

Quote:


Barrister Lad lawyer ,

I've dealt with lawyers all over the word. They are all licensed by a Bar Association and their license is a matter of public record. Most display their license on the wall where the clients can see them They are required to show their license on request of a client to prove that they are qualified to practice law.

Before I hire you to work for and represent me it is absolutely my right and my responsibility to require you to demonstrate that you are qualified to practice law. If I were able to walk into your office, I'm sure your Law Diploma and License would be prominently displayed.

If you insist on claiming that ethics prevent you from doing so I ask you to point out in the Ghana Bar Association Code of Ethics where it is so listed . Here is the link to that document. http://ghanabar.org/wp-content/uploads/2013/09/GBA-Constitution-Code-of-Ethics.pdf

Best Regards
Rev. MY CHARACTER



Meanwhile back at the wench.....Deb doesn’t need any hinges or even appreciate their sleek euro styling and their amazing range of adjustment..

Quote:


Dear ME,
 
The attachment you sent to me did not contain any thing.
 
Please reconfirm the attachment and let me know if this what you are talking about because every thing in the file document is drawing and it make no sense to me.
 
I am waiting for you.
 
Regards



I have mercy on her. And send her the right file.

Quote:


Mrs Asshat,

I am so very sorry. I accidentally attached the wrong file. The names were similar. I'm blaming the pain pills.

Here is the correct one.
Best wishes in our endeavor!


If there's anything I hate its a hard headed, obstinate, lazy and smart arsed Lad lawyer! (Is there any other kind?)

Quote:


Attention: MY CHARACTER,
 
Thanks for your mail.
 
We understand your concern about your request information. Please note that my chamber will not give you any information online accepted you come to our office in person. Since you know much about legal services in Ghana we advise you to contact the services of another legal solicitor to represent you in your application claim because we will no longer represent you in your application.
 
Thanks for contacting us, we wereby withdrawn our service from your application and advise you to employ another solicitor who will provide you with your request online since many legal office you know have given you their license via email, please contact them for representation.



Deb is no help with the information required by Lad lawyer but she's been busy at the bank what with people withdrawing their Christmas club accounts and that sort of thing. Oh well. More unfortunate delay.

Quote:


Dear ME,
 
Thanks for your mail.
 
I do not have much information about the requirements in the document you send to me. Hopefully the lawyer can assist with is legal professional. Sorry for the late response today has been a busy day because of the season.
 
Let me know your comment.
 
Regards



Here I make a little timing mistake. I had a little tweak planned for the Lad lawyer, but I'm rushing off to the hospital and may be kept at least overnight for observation. I stir up a little stench in shit-creek and leave it hanging in the air before dashing out the door. I'm a little insulting about the lawyer but he will never see it. LOL

Quote:


Dear Mrs. Asshat

I don't know how you obtained the name of this lawyer, but I am less than impressed. He is rude and uncooperative.

I don't think he has a current license to practice. If he has a Law Degree he probably made it himself out of colored paper and crayons.

Do you have any knowledge of him other than what someone told you. Do you know if he has an actual local office?

Sorry to cut this off but the church secretary is taking me to the hospital emergency room. My throat is getting much more painful and inflamed. She is outside waiting and honking at me now so I will get back to you later tonight or in the morning.



Now I realize that if I tweak the Lad lawyer later today, the time stamp will be while I'm laid up in the hospital. But I need to feed him something so I dash this off to the barrister while the long suffering secretary is waiting. At least it should reinforce the “emergency”.

Quote:


I must confer with a 3rd party adviser in this matter  before we go any further.

Sorry to be brief but I must leave now.



Mrs Asshat's English is slipping again and so is her confidence that she has live one hooked.

Quote:


Dear ME,
 
I totally do not understand any thing.
 
What do you mean by rude and if the lawyer have license. I hope you have not gone to ask question while you are so to be begging for assistance. Why is your number not going i have tried to call you serveral times and the number is like a post office number.
 
Who are you dont seems to be real. Please send me your passport copy i need to see you and know you.
 
Regards


_________________
Closed lad accounts <-- I will name him George and I will hold him and pet him and squeeze him....
Closed lad accounts <-- George II - XXIII
X7
United States <--My first one but at least its 'Mercan
NigeriaNetherlandsPanamaUnited StatesCanada
you are not qualified. you are just a stupid more than f**king foolish fake pastor
Thank you, you f**king lie bitch and your collaborating f**king scamming idiot.
i have already contacted a real and obidient partner not a fake foolish idiot like you
you are a big liar liaring with the name of God and you will receive punishment from God almighty that is what I promise
Nigerian Pigs, you all are known for your stupidity online, you are really stupid mumu idiot . Middle Finger , you will not see even 1 Naira idiot
#2 member of the Nigerian Pigs Club

Last edited by Snothead on Sun Jan 17, 2016 7:46 pm; edited 3 times in total
View user's profileSend private messageSkype Name
Snothead
419Eater is my life


Joined: 12 Dec 2015
Posts: 392
Location: Having no tea on the Heart of Gold


PostPosted: Sun Jan 17, 2016 4:57 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

I try to crawl back into her good graces and get her to forget the PP copy.

Quote:


Dear Mrs Asshat,
I went to the emergency room yesterday and they admitted me to the hospital to try to get my throat infection under control. I hope to be released tomorrow so I do not have to spend all of Christmas here. 
I hope I haven't upset you. I was merely trying to be careful in our dealings as you said in your past emails. You said that someone told you about this lawyer. Do you know for certain that he is certified and trustworthy? There is a lot of money at stake here and I am not able to check out this lawyer in person. You are there and I will trust your judgment if you say he is OK.
My phone is working fine. I just checked it.. I cannot answer it because he doctor has told me not to even try to speak but you can leave a voice message after the tone.
I must go as my laptop battery is about out. I will proceed with Barrister Lad lawyer if you feel comfortable with him.



Whew! I'm still on the hook and being a good little fish. She hands the pole to Lad lawyer to reel me in.

Quote:


Dear ME,
 
Thanks for your mail.
 
I pray your throat get better on time. This lawyer was recommended because i was told he has handle similar cases with other banks before, he has the legal fitness to handle this case. I trust he will handle the case if you will be kind enough to follow is instruction and not ask question about is competence or approach, so that he will not think of stoping the representation since he as already accepted your application.
 
Please send othe requirements to the lawyer and inform him to assist you with is legal experty on the requirement you dont have i believe he will have a way to handle it once you cooperate and follow the instructions.
 
Regards



Ever so thoughtful and caring, she drops me a line on Christmas Day.

Quote:


Dear ME,
 
Merry Chrismas.
 
I hope your throat is better now. Happy celebration of the birth of the savior of the world Jesus Christ.
 
Have a Blessed Christmas Season and celebration.
 
Regards



I write her back the day after Christmas still stuck in the hospital.

Quote:


Dear Mrs Asshat
Unfortunately I am still in the hospital. I did not check my email Christmas day so I got a pleasant surprise when I received  you best wishes on my condition and a lovely Christmas greeting.
Being a pastor myself, ti is nice to find that you are a believer in our Savior. I send my best wishes to you and your family at this joyous time.
The doctor says I might need an operation but he cannot tell for sure until the swelling and inflammation goes away. There is a small chance that I will never be able to speak properly again, but I prefer not to dwell on that.
I must go as the medicine makes me sleepy and nauseous (What a combination)
I will be discharged tomorrow and will try to get an email sent to the lawyer so we can get moving!
Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year


A little prayer for my health and a gentle nudge to get on with business.

Quote:


Dear ME,
 
Thanks for your mail.
 
You will speak and nothing can stop you not to speak. Doing the work of God, God will take care of you because he always take care of is own.
 
Please send the requirements to the lawyer on time so he can start every documentations immediately. I will really appreciate it, if this process is taken care of on time. I wish you quick recovery and i know you will perfectly Ok in Jesus Name Amen.
 
Regards



I'm home! There is an item I need from Asshat for the lawyer. She has given it to me before but I can't be bothered to go back and look for it.

Quote:


Dear Mrs Asshat,
I am home now and feeling a little better but the doctor has ordered me not to try to speak. Thank you for your prayers.
I am going to get in touch with the lawyer now.. I need to get from you item G

G, Bank particulars of where the money is domiciled.
I will see if he can help with the other items.
Best Regards

She's back quick with this one.

Quote:


Dear ME,
 
Thanks for your mail.
 
I am very honored to know you are at home now and getting better, i believe the good Lord will perfect everything about your health.
 
Concerning your request below is the details of were the money is domiciled.
 
G, Bank particulars of where the money is domiciled
Bank Name: HER BANK
Account Name: Dead Rich Uncle John
Account number: redact
Swift: redact
Available: Balance: $47,370,000.00
 
Send every thing to the lawyer including your personal information and inform him to get other details for you.
 
Regards



I wonder if she hates stupid questions? This was sent at 2:15 AM Ghana time strictly for stalling purposes.

Quote:


Dear Mrs Asshat,
Do you think he will require the actual mailing address for the bank?

Regards



She's back at 7 AM her time.

Quote:


Dear ME,
 
Thanks for your mail.
 
The mailing address is not important because our bank has branches every were in Ghana and the application can be submitted to any branch and we can take it from there.
 
Send details to the lawyer so we can know the next step.
 
Regards



I follow her instructions exactly and contact Lad lawyer acting like I am diligently pursuing his “requirements” and asking for his legal “experty”.


Quote:


Lad lawyer
I wish it was possible for me to travel the thousands of miles to your location to take care of this business in person. Despite my misgivings I have been reassured by adviser (who must remain anonymous) that it is safe to proceed with you on this matter. They do have knowledge of you and that you are who you say you are.
I have reviewed your requirements again. Items F through J, except for item G are problematic. I do not have that information or know how to go about getting it. Do you know of any source in Ghana where I can apply online for this information. It should be a matter of public record somewhere I just don't know where.
Best Regards
MY CHARACTER



A not very helpful reply. (Header clipped)

Quote:


Attention: ME
 
We cannot process your request and we do not know were you can get them online, as a relation to the deseased you should know about your relations and any thing that happened to your relation.




Back to Mrs Asshat for the information she should have given me over a week ago.

Quote:


Dearest Mrs Asamoh,
I have been in contact with the lawyer. I am at a standstill in fulfilling his requirements list. In particular:

F, Full names of the deceased
H, Death certificate of the deceased
I, Date and place of death
J, Cause of death

He says that he requires these things but cannot help in obtaining them or even telling me where I may inquire to obtain them. He said that as the next of kin I should know them.
With out these specifically required items it is pointless to continue with him. I am several thousand miles away, sick and cannot speak.

The more I deal with this guy, the less I like and trust him. I'm beginning to doubt for the first time that this deal is blessed by God.
Yours in Christ



My my! What a reply!

Quote:


Dear ME,
 
You are making every thing difficult for me, why are you asking a lawyer were you are suppose to get information regarding your relation, this sound that you dont know any thing abou your own relation.
 
Send the below information to the lawyer including your part so he can prepare the documents with this information.
 
F, Full names of the deceased: Dead Rich Uncle John
G, Bank were the funds is domiciled:
Bank Name: HER BANK
Account Name: Dead Rich Uncle John
Account number: redact
Swift: redact
Available: Balance: $47,370,000.00
H, Death certificate of the deceased: The lawyer has calculated the charges of the dealth certificate to the total amount you will pay, it is the lawyer responsibility to get the Death Certificate.
I, Date and place of death: July 10,2008  Kumasi Expresway
J, Cause of death: Car Accident.
 
Please send this information and include your personal information with every thing needed for this application to the lawyer immediately. Do not ask questions again and just follow is instruction.
 
I am waiting for positive news from you.
 
Regards



Is this positive enough for you?

Quote:


Mrs Asshat,
First of all I will not tolerate being scolded by anyone as if I were a child!

I regards to your last email, I suggest it is you that you that has made things difficult. When I got the list of requirements from the lawyer I forwarded them to you and called your attention specifically to items G through J.
I asked if you could provide these items to me so I could complete the requirements. This was over a week ago.
You replied:
I do not have much information about the requirements in the document you send to me. Hopefully the lawyer can assist with is legal professional. Sorry for the late response today has been a busy day because of the season.

Then later you told me:

Please send othe requirements to the lawyer and inform him to assist you with is legal experty on the requirement you dont have i believe he will have a way to handle it once you cooperate and follow the instructions.


I did exactly as you asked and will not be blamed for the confusion and delay. I will now use the
information you finally sent to me complete the requirements and send them to the lawyer.

Regards



Now is not the time to “.....bicker and argue about who killed who....” just hurry up and be scammed!

Quote:


Dear Iben,
 
This is not time to be angry or feel bad. I am doig every thing within my capacity to make sure there is remedy to the lawyer request. I have finally provided the details, please send to the lawyer with other requirements needed so he can commence the documentation process and submit application to the bank on time.
 
You need to understand that i never expect such requirements from the law firm and it also take time to get them. Contact the lawyer immediately with the information i have provided and make sure every thing that is needed from your side is completed to enable the processing from the lawyer as soon as possible.
 
Regards



I do as I'm told....well, sort of.. but I forget to tell Mrs Asshat.

Quote:


Barrister Lad lawyer ,
I was able to locate most of  the details about my deceased relative. It's not easy to do from thousand miles away. I  do not have nor do I know how to obtain the death certificate.
Your full names and address
Rev. MY CHARACTER
C.O. MY CHURCH
229 FAKE STREET
Montebello, CA 90640
Usa

Your date of birth
5 September. 1948

Your occupation
Retired businessman – assistant pastor

Your account particulars where the sum will be paid into
Yet to be determined

Full names of the deceased
Rich Dead Uncle John

Bank particulars of where the money is domiciled
Bank Name: HER BANK
Account Name: Rich dead uncle
Account number: redact
Swift: redact
Available: Balance: $47,370,000.00

Death certificate of the deceased
I do not have one and do not know how to obtain one.

Date and place of death
July 10,2008 Kumasi Expresway

Cause of death
Car Accident

Regards


_________________
Closed lad accounts <-- I will name him George and I will hold him and pet him and squeeze him....
Closed lad accounts <-- George II - XXIII
X7
United States <--My first one but at least its 'Mercan
NigeriaNetherlandsPanamaUnited StatesCanada
you are not qualified. you are just a stupid more than f**king foolish fake pastor
Thank you, you f**king lie bitch and your collaborating f**king scamming idiot.
i have already contacted a real and obidient partner not a fake foolish idiot like you
you are a big liar liaring with the name of God and you will receive punishment from God almighty that is what I promise
Nigerian Pigs, you all are known for your stupidity online, you are really stupid mumu idiot . Middle Finger , you will not see even 1 Naira idiot
#2 member of the Nigerian Pigs Club
View user's profileSend private messageSkype Name
Snothead
419Eater is my life


Joined: 12 Dec 2015
Posts: 392
Location: Having no tea on the Heart of Gold


PostPosted: Sun Jan 17, 2016 4:57 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Blah blah blah.......

Quote:


Attention:MY CHARACTER
 
We received your mail with thank.
 
We have dcoumented the required details you sent to us to process your application, however the details were not completed. Your account particulars where the sum will be paid into is very important because it will contain in the application which will be submitted to the bank.
 
Scan copy of your passport or driver license is required. The death certificate will be processed by our law firm on behalf of the deceased. Send us your account particulars where the sum will be paid into and the mandatory adminstrative charges of $2,420 immediately so we can proceed in a timely fashion.




More stalling and hoping he will forget the PP or DL scan.

Quote:


Barrister Lad lawyer

RE: Your account particulars where the sum will be paid into

I am a retired businessman and a assistant pastor. I have no need or desire for all of this money so I am going to give it to my church.
If the money passes through my bank account it will be taxed at a very high rate. Is it possible for the transfer to go directly to the church using their account thus avoiding the taxes?
Thank you for your reply



Surprise! Lad lawyer has no problem with the church account, unaware that he is about to encounter the dreaded church finance committee. No mention of needing PP or DL scan so I may have dodged that bullet.


Quote:


Attention: Rev. My Character

We received your mail with thank.
 
We want you to know that any bank account you want your funds to be transfer into is Ok. Please provide the norminated bank account of your church and also send us the required charges to obtain every documents needed for the application.
 
Happy New year.



I've been ever so neglectful keeping Deb updated. This came new years day.

Quote:


Dear ME,
 
May the blessing of this new year season be with you and your family. You will never have a better yesterday, all your heart desire shall be furfill in Jesus Name.
 
How are you doing my trusted friend and partner, i will like to hear from you and the development of our business venture.
 
Happy New Year you and your family.
 
Regards



I wrote her back on the 2nd still stalling COFF COFF

Quote:


Dearest Mrs Asshat,
Best new years greetings to you and your family.

Now that the holidays are over I will be back in touch with the lawyer to get this deal wrapped up. Please bear with me as I am still very ill
I will keep you posted as things develop.
Blessings to you.



She wrote back quickly surprisingly patient. I get this on Sunday. She can almost smell the payoff.

Quote:


Dear ME,
 
Thanks for your mail.
 
I am honored to receive your response today, please try and complete the everything with the lawyer because i want the application to get to the bank on time.
 
Wishing you a quick recovery and happy new year.
 
Regards



Another 24 hour stall.

Quote:


Mrs. Asshat,

Today is the Lords Day and not the day for our business. I will contact the lawyer on Monday

Regards



What can she say?

Quote:


Dear ME,
 
Thanks for your mail. Have a blessed Lords Day.
 
Regards



I give the Lad lawyer the fake account information and fail to mention his fees.

Quote:


Barrister Lad lawyer
I hope you are having a good start to the hew year.

Here is the church account to  transfer the funds into.
Third Bank and Trust
205 E Lincoln
Montebello CA 90640
Acct # 1206479841
Swift Code: TBTUS6LXXX

Regards



The barrister doesn't fail to mention his fees. This guy is really starting to piss me off but the long suffering reverend maintains his cool. COFF COFF

Quote:


Attention: my character
 
There is no account holder name, what is the name of the church account.
 
Please stop sending us half information. If you are not ready for our service stop contacting us. The Legal mandatory charges of $2,420 has not been paid. Send us the charges if you want our services.




You already have the church name and you really don't need it anyway but thanks for another 24 hour email exchange delay dumb ass.........

Quote:


Sorry,

The account holder is MY CHURCH
I understand that you cannot be expected to work for free and I am working now to get the funds to pay your fees. Please be patient as I am very ill.
Rev ME


A stroke for Deb to keep her from stroking out over what is yet to come,

Quote:


Mrs Asshat,
Thank you for your patience and understanding.

I have given the lawyer all the information and I am working on getting the funds to pay his fees.
It shouldn't be long now. I need to get this taken care of because the doctor is supposed to schedule my surgery later this month.
Yours in Christ



Back to the Lad lawyer. I'm hoping for a little battle of wills to stretch out for a few days. by pushing for an invoice I realized too late that I should have not supplied all the information needed for the invoice upfront . I could have stretched it out a day or two more until it was “right”.

Quote:


Barrister Lad lawyer
I have arranged for the church to pay your fees totaling $2420.00.
Because the amount is over $1000.00 it must be approved by the finance committee. I am on that committee so I can guide the approval through.

 We meet on the 10th and 25th of each month. Since the  10th is a Sunday, we will meet on Monday the 11th.
The following is very important so please read it carefully.
In order to approve payment we must have an invoice on your law chamber form or letterhead before Monday January 11 otherwise I cannot get payment authorized.
Bill to:
My CHURCH

Description of charges:
Legal retainer and fees pertaining to West African Missions and Clinics
Amount $2420.00

Account # 01CV812
Regards



Dang it! No fight at all. I got this back in less than 4 hours. Apparently his code of ethnics failed to cover falsified invoices.

Quote:


Attention: my chacter,
 
Find attached invoice. We are waiting for your payment slip 11th January 2016 to begin proceedings.




Image


Let's see if Old Debbers is cool about the 6+ day delay

Quote:


Mrs Asshat,

I have good news. The lawyer has all the information needed to process my claim.

All my money has gone for doctors, hospitals and medicine so I had to resort to a little subterfuge to get the church to pay the fees and retainer of $2420.00.  I feel that is fair because the church will be receiving my half of the money. The Barrister sent me an invoice showing that the money is for legal fees for missions and clinics in West Africa. Since we have several and do occasionally use in-country lawyers this will not be questioned.

Any invoices over $1000.00 have to be approved by the church finance committee. I will present the invoice to them at the next meeting on Monday the 11th of January. I am on the committee so it will be approved and will be recorded as payable on or before the 15th. The lawyer is aware of all of this and will process the paperwork when paid.

We are so close now! I hope you are as excited as I am!

I do hope the Lord will forgive my little "trick" on the church.

Faithfully Yours,



Debby is OK with the delay. She refrains from condemning me for my lie to the church.

Quote:


Dear Respected ME,
 
Thanks for your mail.
 
I am indeed honored to read your mail and the way you have gone about the payment of the lawyer fees. I am happy everything will be finalize soon, try and make sure the approval is given on the 11th as you have stated so the payment can be done so the application can commence the same week, i cant wait to see the lawyer application get to the bank so i can take responsibiltiy in the processing approval. Thank you for your effort to enable us acheive success in this business venture.
 
God bless you and your family.
 
Regards



Imagine 6 days of “Please Hold” music here.

Another unfortunate delay caused by silly quorum rules.

Quote:


Mrs Asshat,

I hope you had a pleasant week and a blessed Lords Day. Our plan is still on track except for a small delay.

One of the finance committee members is away on vacation and another one was called away on a family medical emergency. He is a dear friend of mine and his mother is near death.

The committee cannot conduct any business until at least one of them returns. I hope this happens before Friday.
I was supposed to have my surgery on Thursday but this has forced me to cancel it until I can get our little venture back on track. My doctor is furious!

I will keep you posted. I should know more tomorrow (Tuesday).

Yours in Christ


_________________
Closed lad accounts <-- I will name him George and I will hold him and pet him and squeeze him....
Closed lad accounts <-- George II - XXIII
X7
United States <--My first one but at least its 'Mercan
NigeriaNetherlandsPanamaUnited StatesCanada
you are not qualified. you are just a stupid more than f**king foolish fake pastor
Thank you, you f**king lie bitch and your collaborating f**king scamming idiot.
i have already contacted a real and obidient partner not a fake foolish idiot like you
you are a big liar liaring with the name of God and you will receive punishment from God almighty that is what I promise
Nigerian Pigs, you all are known for your stupidity online, you are really stupid mumu idiot . Middle Finger , you will not see even 1 Naira idiot
#2 member of the Nigerian Pigs Club

Last edited by Snothead on Sun Jan 17, 2016 5:15 pm; edited 1 time in total
View user's profileSend private messageSkype Name
Snothead
419Eater is my life


Joined: 12 Dec 2015
Posts: 392
Location: Having no tea on the Heart of Gold


PostPosted: Sun Jan 17, 2016 4:58 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Tell me story? As in tell me lies, tell me sweet little lies? The English slips badly again and she cares not .about my health.

Quote:


Dear ME,
 
Thanks for your mail.
 
I am suprise by this development from you. Why is it now both of them travelled. I am suprise at your message, tell me story.
 
Regards



Will this story work? How about Brother Maynard's annual relic hunting vacation? I get the date wrong, Thursday is the 14th.

Quote:


Dear Mrs Asshat,
I am afraid you misunderstand. Our committee meetings require 3 members be present, One of our members Brother Maynard has been on vacation since the first of the year. That was OK since there was still 3 of us to form the committee,  me, Brother John and Deacon Jones.

Deacon Jones' mother suffered a terrible stroke last Saturday and is not expected to live so he flew to Florida to be with her. That left only two of us so we can't hold our regular Monday night meeting. It also meant that I had to reschedule my surgery so I would be around to guide our little business deal.

Brother Maynard is returning from his vacation to Antioch tomorrow (Tuesday) afternoon. We will have our meeting the next night after our regular  Wednesday night Bible study. That means that the invoice from Barrister Lad lawyer will be approved for payment Thursday morning the 13th of January.

I an very sorry for the delay but it couldn't be helped or foreseen.

Your Friend



Debbie finally gets it and finds her ESL textbook again.

Quote:


Dear ME,
 
Thanks for your mail.
 
I did not understand very well your explanation before. I hope and wish every thing will be finalized as you have stated on the 13th. Thanks for your effort, keep me posted on the approval.
 
Regards



The following is half true. Can you guess which half?

Quote:


Dear Mrs Asshat,

Great news.. Our meeting just concluded a few minutes ago and the payment has been approved.

I am very tired and must go to bed but I will get back with you later.



Mrs Asshat believes the wrong half.

Quote:


Dear ME
Thanks for your mail.
 
I am very honored to received your mail that the payment has been aproved, your message brought a lot of relief to me and know that our deal will be concluded as soon as possible.
 
Please let me know when the application will be submitted from the law firm to the bank so i can follow up immediately and take responsibility from there. I am ineed honored that the payment has finally been paid for the documents.
 
Thanks for your cooperation.
 
Regards



Lad lawyer has been “sleeping” in the background for about 2 weeks now. I bet this “check is in the mail” gets his friggin' attention. Blood pressure spike in 3.....2.......1.......
Quote:


Barrister L:ad Lawyer,
Payment of $2420.00 USD for your retainer and fees has been approved by the finance committee.

According to your invoice the check will be mailed to:

Lad Lawyer LAW CHAMBER
Barrister Lad Lawyer Esq
Plot 7208 Medina Road
Accra Ghana
Let me know if this is all right. Is there a Post Code we need to include in the address?
Regards



Surprise, surprise, surprise................. He doesn't want a check or dealings with unserious people.

Quote:


Attention: Me,
 
Send the fee through western union to the receiver details stated in the requirements document we sent to you. We do not deal on international checks, this is a developing country and we do not have facilities for international checks. If you know you cannot follow the instruction we have given you by paying through western union, please do not worry to come back.
 
We do not have time for unserious people.



The next emails to/from lad lawyer took place over 1 day. I wanted to look like I was anxious to close the deal..... I don't think he's the type to make too many trips to WU with bad numbers etc.

First a mild slap and two other payment modes in search of a piggy..The Tamale mission account is just for plausibility so it doesn't look like I'm just pushing for a bank account. A lad likes to have options you know.

Quote:


Barrister,

I assure you I am a very serious person and I do not appreciate the insulting implication that I am not. Your professionalism leaves a lot to be desired.

That being said, I have spoken to the church secretary and found I was mistaken. The church does not issue checks or use services such as Western Union for foreign payments.

She has informed me that the normal method is direct bank transfer or that since you are in Ghana that we could issue you a certified cashiers check drawn on our foreign missions account at our High Street Bank in Tamale.

The funds are approved and ready for payment and I need to get this taken care of as quickly as possible.  Please let me know which method you prefer so we can expedite this matter.

ME



Laddie does not play. Methinks that this is not his first bait and that he has a previously poached pig pen.

Quote:


Attention: ME
 
I want to draw your attention to the application you send to us to represent you for financial claim is personaly and it is your responsibility to pay as we have instruted and not of the church, so therefore we do not have any business with your church or any religious organization contain in the application we received.
 
If you know you cannot pay the fees through western union as we have instructed you, you can forget about our services and look for another legal service.
 
Thank you.



I shove the carrot back out there and straighten out a few of his facts. . I know he has nothing for me but he can't be sure I have nothing for him.

Quote:


Barrister,

You sir are truly a blessing in disguise in that you are a test to my faith.

I wish to call your attention to the facts that I told you the church would be making the payments. I gave you the churches account to pay into. You sent the invoice for the payment to the church. Your payment was approved by the church and the money is ready for payment. It is waiting only on you. What do you care where the money comes from?

I cannot interfere with the payment method and my part in this must remain secret. They are already suspicious why I am so concerned with this matter.  I would gladly pay you myself but all of my funds are depleted due to medical bills.

The secretary makes out the checks or bank payment slips but they must be signed by the accountant. The accountant will not approve any other method of payment. I cannot change this.

I need to get this settled. It is of great importance and I have surgery scheduled next week.

Regards



This may be the sign off from Big Jon Law...

Quote:


Attention: ME
 
It is not our business if you gave us the church account, that is were you want your funds to be transfer to. If church is paying is not our business as we have no business with the church. This will be our last communication with you after you read this mail dont ever conatct us again because we will not respond to you.
 
Our instruction payment method must be followed and if you cannot pay through the intructed way western union we hereby cancel any legal responsibility with you.




This is what I figure will be my last slap and poke. Do you want my money or not?

Quote:


Barrister,

If it were up to me and I had any choice I would have found another lawyer weeks ago but I am stuck with you for now. I must clear this up quickly.

I'm very sorry but your only two options are to provide me with a back account which I will give to the secretary for transfer of the funds Monday morning, or certified check via mail from our Tamale bank account. The certified check will take approximately 2 to 3 weeks.

I do not understand your position on this simple matter.

I am sorry that the time and work you have expended will go unpaid otherwise.



I wonder if Little Debbie has a shoulder I can cry on as I just know this will all end in tears.

Quote:


Mrs Asshat,

I am so angry I could curse. After all the time, care and work I have put into this matter the lawyer refused payment. He is totally unreasonable and irrational. I have never in all my years in business encountered such an unprofessional so called barrister!

I am very tired and not feeling well so I am going to bed now. I will worry about this in the morning.

I hate to even think that we will have to start over.
Respectfully yours,




As usual Deb is confuse.........

Quote:


Dear ME
 
I am confuse by everything you have said, been angry and you can curse for what and the lawyer is not comprating and do not want to receive payment, all those statement have made me confused.
 
I am even tired of everything because this not my plan, every thing have over delayed i prayed is not a mistake in contacting you because you are coming up with another story again that you are used to.
 
Regards



The money is approved and there just waiting on you and not comprating lad lawyer. Do you want it or not? It is out of my hands!

Quote:


Mrs Asshat,

Yes I am angry. I am very angry at this so called lawyer. As you recall I was suspicious of his business practices and manners from the beginning.

I have not delayed anything. I have pushed this deal along as rapidly as possible considering the secrecy and caution that is called for. There has been a few delays but they were not of my doing and were unavoidable.

I explained to the lawyer that I was going to donate my portion of the money to the church and that the church would be paying his fees as I have no money due to my medical bills. He agreed to this and I gave him the churches bank information for the transfer. He then sent a invoice to the church.

As you know I got the invoice approved for payment. Once it is approved by my committee I can have no further involvement without suspicion. The church secretary makes out the checks or bank transfer slips and they are then signed by the accountant.

The barrister explained that he could not accept international checks which is understandable. The only other option for the payment is direct bank transfer. Or since he is in Ghana I could arrange for a certified check to be mailed to him from our missions account at a bank in Tamale.
He refused payment from the church and demands to be paid via Western Union. I cannot even ask them to pay this way.  They are already asking questions why he has not provided his bank information for the transfer. I'm afraid that the secretary will try to contact the lawyer and start asking questions. This must not happen.

Can you imagine what would happen to you if your bank found out about our deal? Well the same thing will happen to me if anyone at the church finds out. I will loose my job, my apartment and what little health insurance that I have. My reputation as an honest man will be ruined.

His money is approved and waiting to be paid. We must find a way to get him to accept either bank transfer or a certified check or I must cancel the payment before I am found out.

I would hate to start over with another lawyer but that may be our only other option.
My surgery will be one day next week. I will find out when on Monday.
Please advise me how to continue.



Deb tells my what I need to do and what the church can and cannot do...... Why am I hearing The Doors “The End” in my head.

Quote:


Dear ME,
 
There is no problem in your explanation. What you need to do is collect the cash from the church and send it through western union to the lawyer. The church cannot say they will not give cash or it must be bank account or check. The lawyer has given you the method he want to received the payment, i see no reason why you and your church cannot pay it through western union as directed by the lawyer. If you are serious and not playing games go and send the money through western union and forget about this explanation. Cash can be given to you if actually it is not aways to give excuses.



I got the money biotch. If you want it then you must jump through my hoops on my timetable..This little dance is about over and you are not getting any WU so unless I get a piggy or two I have no use for you.

Quote:


Dear Mrs Asshat,
I'm surprised at you. These are not excuses they are facts. I could be in real trouble here if our deal is discovered. I have already put my health at risk by canceling my surgery.

You work at a bank so you know that businesses have certain ways that they operate. The church is also operates  like a business. I do not and cannot not pay any bills for the church. And I cannot even ask for the bill to be paid via WU.

 If I go to the accountant and ask for cash so I can pay one of the bills he will think I've gone crazy. Then he will start asking questions about the lawyers bill. He will find out that it is a fake invoice.

I will be fired and maybe arrested for attempted fraud. The fake invoice will be turned over to the police. If they find our emails on this laptop they may even contact your bank.

There is no one in the church office today or tomorrow so we are safe from examination until Monday. I may be able to stall them off for a day or two but sooner or later they will be contacting the lawyer and asking why he has not provided a bank account. THIS MUST NOT HAPPEN! He is so stupid he will admit to the fraud.

In order to stop it I must come up with an excuse to cancel the invoice unless I can get him to accept payment.

All of this grief for a stupid lawyer. I will not go to jail because of him or you. Either help me figure a way to get him to accept payment or I will be canceling the invoice Monday or Tuesday. I will probably have my surgery on Wednesday so this must be settled before then.
Regards

_________________
Closed lad accounts <-- I will name him George and I will hold him and pet him and squeeze him....
Closed lad accounts <-- George II - XXIII
X7
United States <--My first one but at least its 'Mercan
NigeriaNetherlandsPanamaUnited StatesCanada
you are not qualified. you are just a stupid more than f**king foolish fake pastor
Thank you, you f**king lie bitch and your collaborating f**king scamming idiot.
i have already contacted a real and obidient partner not a fake foolish idiot like you
you are a big liar liaring with the name of God and you will receive punishment from God almighty that is what I promise
Nigerian Pigs, you all are known for your stupidity online, you are really stupid mumu idiot . Middle Finger , you will not see even 1 Naira idiot
#2 member of the Nigerian Pigs Club

Last edited by Snothead on Sat Jun 04, 2016 1:43 pm; edited 3 times in total
View user's profileSend private messageSkype Name
Snothead
419Eater is my life


Joined: 12 Dec 2015
Posts: 392
Location: Having no tea on the Heart of Gold


PostPosted: Sun Jan 17, 2016 4:59 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

And the fangs come out! And not flimpsey fangs either!
Quote:

Dear Iben,
Every thing you are saying are just flimpsy excuses not to pay the fee. This not a church business i wounder why every thing is now on the church. My business is between me and you not a church, when you know you cannot handle it you back off and stop using church as excuses meanwhile you are lieing.
 
Go and pay the money through western union, let the church know that the lawyer want the fee through western union nothing will happen. why will the church interested in such huge amount if the church is not a criminal church. I know that every thing you are saying are lies and you are just trying to play games with me. You cannot treaghten me with your uselss jail or they will contact my bank. go and pay the money through western union and stop telling me foolish lies



I think it's over. Don't look back Debbie. Don't look back.


Quote:


Mrs Asshat,

I thought you were an intelligent business and family woman. I see now that I was wrong. You seem to understand nothing. I should never have gotten involved in your little deal.

The only lies I have told are to my church in order to get the church to pay the lawyers fees. The church does not know about the money yet. I was going to have it paid into their  account.

I do not want or need the money. Good luck finding another person named Overdrawn so you can pass them off as the dead mans relative. I hope you never get a penny of the money.

I will cancel the lawyers invoice Monday. He will never get a dime from me or the church. I doubt if he can stay in business very long the way he operates. He is stupid, rude, ignorant and I don't believe he even is a lawyer.

I shall spend the Sabbath tomorrow repenting of my involvement in this venture.

Goodbye



Last taps go to Deb. It's the least I can do. She knew I was a fake all along. She just stuck around for my entertaining lies.

Quote:


Dear Iben,
 
you have never been a pastor or religious. the christainity is part of you game. i knew you were fake when i told you to provide your identity and you could not. i just wanted to see the lies you will end every thing with. before now i have already contacted a real and obidient partner not a fake foolish idiot like you



I hope her real and obidient partner is someone here.

Fade to black

_________________
Closed lad accounts <-- I will name him George and I will hold him and pet him and squeeze him....
Closed lad accounts <-- George II - XXIII
X7
United States <--My first one but at least its 'Mercan
NigeriaNetherlandsPanamaUnited StatesCanada
you are not qualified. you are just a stupid more than f**king foolish fake pastor
Thank you, you f**king lie bitch and your collaborating f**king scamming idiot.
i have already contacted a real and obidient partner not a fake foolish idiot like you
you are a big liar liaring with the name of God and you will receive punishment from God almighty that is what I promise
Nigerian Pigs, you all are known for your stupidity online, you are really stupid mumu idiot . Middle Finger , you will not see even 1 Naira idiot
#2 member of the Nigerian Pigs Club
View user's profileSend private messageSkype Name
Snothead
419Eater is my life


Joined: 12 Dec 2015
Posts: 392
Location: Having no tea on the Heart of Gold


PostPosted: Sun Jan 17, 2016 5:08 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

OOPS! I'v got to go back and watermark the images. Embarassed

_________________
Closed lad accounts <-- I will name him George and I will hold him and pet him and squeeze him....
Closed lad accounts <-- George II - XXIII
X7
United States <--My first one but at least its 'Mercan
NigeriaNetherlandsPanamaUnited StatesCanada
you are not qualified. you are just a stupid more than f**king foolish fake pastor
Thank you, you f**king lie bitch and your collaborating f**king scamming idiot.
i have already contacted a real and obidient partner not a fake foolish idiot like you
you are a big liar liaring with the name of God and you will receive punishment from God almighty that is what I promise
Nigerian Pigs, you all are known for your stupidity online, you are really stupid mumu idiot . Middle Finger , you will not see even 1 Naira idiot
#2 member of the Nigerian Pigs Club
View user's profileSend private messageSkype Name
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