Mark from Manchester....Love springs eternal!

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Posted: Fri Dec 04, 2015 1:47 pm

It started out on Tagged about 2 months ago. He wrote to me in English first, and I ignored him, but he wouldn't let go. His decision. I have squeezed his mails through Google translator again and translated my answers. Mark has managed to take all my stupidity hurdles most elegantly, so I guess we're in for some higher love Cool

http://www.tagged.com/profile.html?uid=6010783247
ETA: he is also here: https://badoo.com/0424287183

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Hello dear friend I came across your profile on this site here and you are so beautiful to me, please keep up the smile because I couldn't stop myself from saying nice picture also I found your profile so interesting and will want to know more about you. hope to hear from you soon. Thanks

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Hi dear can we be just good friends here if you don't mind thanks?

Now he has made up his mind and he approaches me in badly translated German:

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Hallo liebe wie geht es Ihnen heute und wie war dein Wochenende auch! Sie habe ich nicht von dir, da hatte, ich hoffe, alles in Ordnung mit dir da drüben bin wirklich besorgt über Ihre stille hier wer weiß, ob alles in Ordnung ist? Ich möchte nur wissen, wie Sie tun, mein Engel in Ordnung. Bitte nehmen Sie immer gut auf sich da draußen für mich und ich hoffe, von Ihnen hier wieder zu hören. Vielen Dank

Google translation (GT):

Hello dear how are you today and how was your weekend! You I have not had from you since, I hope everything is fine with you over there'm really worried about your silence here who knows if everything is alright? I just wanna know how you do, my angel in order. Please take always good care of yourself out there for me and I hope to hear from you again here. Many thanks

Hello Mark, thank you for your message in German, so now we will be able to communicate much better! Everything is all right here, so how are you doing?

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GT:
Thanks for your answer, how are you ...? What is life like there .. over there? to be good honest, I like and appreciate what see on your profile pictures, you look really pretty and charming, my heart was keen to know more. Please dear, if only you do not mind to me about yourself.i is proud to tell you about myself, hope to read from you again ...........!

Hello Mark,
I am doing fine here, everything is almost perfect here, thank you. You are also looking very good. I am running a petite but very successful catering service here in Berlin/Germany, and I deliver Mett-Igels to the German Bundestag, and every once in a while I also cater the Home Office with my famous goldfish sherbet. I am a successful business woman, and I am totally independent. Do you have children? I wish you a wonderful evening.
Louisa

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GT:
Thanks for your answer, how are you this fine day?. I hope you are doing well, I'm so happy to read your kind messages, what I really want a great thing to do with you, is to be ended, that we can not personally meet before but I hope you soon 1 day to meet in order. Please give me only the honor, come into your life, so I know you better. I also like for me to go to the movies, or movies in my room or cottage, also I like swimming, listening to music and dance to all kinds of music to sing, sailing. Bin from Australia, I was born on 9 August 1957 so am now 58 years old and I live in Manchester, United Kingdom. I work with Perenco oil and gas company and our industry is all over the world now I was married, but my wife years ago died during the birth of a child in the hospital. And all this has happened, like a dream. May her soul rest in peace and I hard a beautiful daughter with her That was after her death, and she is 35 years old, but she's married with children now. She's everything I got better now. I work from Monday to Friday, but on Saturday, I work part-time and Sunday is my day off of work. Finally, how I wish that we entertain here on Sunday, because I have a decent and true woman in friendship that I meet trust with my love, in the hope that our relationship would grow more better, good, good, and stronger before we both may be able to in real life, as we we build each other to make know of here!

I wrote my answers to him and made intentional mistakes, like splitting words into syllables and placing gaps where there were supposed to be none and so on. Translating my messages back to English must have left him totally clueless, but he had a fair chance to walk out. He has decided to keep on going though, in spite of several obvious warnings.

Oh Mark, many many thanks for your boring scribbling, that has made me ever so happy! I am getting lots of messages daily on Tagged here, but hardly ever such a profound and extensive message like the one you have sent! You live in the UK, and your daughter is already 35 years old? That is good to hear, because I am not at all in the mood to deal with puberty reaching brats. I am sorry to hear about your wife dying in hospital while giving birth to a child! How lucky that it happened to happen in a hospital, and not in a subway or a cinema, oh wow, now that would have been an embarrasing mess, wouldn't it?! And if your wife were still alive, we wouldn't have met at all, would we? I like to listen to music, too. And I also tend to dance on the tables when I drink too much, and I just love water sports, waterboarding is my favourite sport of all, I can relax best doing that, really! You have to work on Saturdays also? Every Saturday? Are you planning on coming to visit Berlin for a weekend, so that we can meat in person? Again thank you very much for your letter!

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GT:
Okay well, to tell you more about me, I am an honest, kind-hearted, hard-working man who does need the support of a loving wife. Ideally l am someone who trust in what he wants and who he is. We all face difficult situations in our lives and we sometimes tend to be misled by them. A lot of times, we often tend to abandon. In this life, I decided to give up several times, but I'm proud to say that I selected to stay strong and patient all these years ..... which has led to my finding you. Who seek happiness; tell it by anything other than his own disposition will waste his life in fruitless efforts and multiply the grief which he purposes to remove. Your livelihood by what life brings to you as by the attitude you bring to life not determined so much; not so much what happens, how looks your mind by the way, what happens. This is the reason why I have decided, despite my incalculable losses move in life. I also acknowledge your response and thank you for your concern about our friendship so much, because I do not really know how the fact that what I feel now is to approach a reality, as has since I lost my wife years ago, the world seems so empty and lonely for me and how I feel right now is just an experience that I never had the feeling, or for a very long time. I just do not really know how to approach, how I really feel about them, given the fact that we just met on a social network like this that is so unusual, start a relationship, but I know deep in my heart our meeting here on Facebook is for a reason, yet to be unveiled. hope to hear from you soon. best regards.

Facebook??? We are writing each other on Tagged!

Good morning my dearest Mark!

Oh what an other end lessly boring reply of yours, thank you so much, and thank you for the frankness about your life! Never did I have any hope to meet a man like you in one of this anti social networks, a man who would open himself to me so early and so fully and reveal to me the darkest abyss of his soul! Thank you for your trust, and I promise you solemnly that you will deeply regret it. I am a woman a man can rely on, and if I make I a promise, I will keep it, and I promise you that it will always be exciting and very special to have some business going on with me. I agree, I think it will be better to write each other emails, will you let me have you mail address?
Yours, Louisa

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GT: In order to love, but really from the day I came to your profile, I knew that you would turn out to be a good friend, and more than proven that to have. Whenever you think of me, you know that no matter how many miles separate us is now or how much of our lives comes between us, you are and always will be the true friend that I wished all those times. I thank God that he gave me the honor to meet you. Though the miles separate us, is the bond that we have a lot more. They are the very one I had all those years spent looking for. And now that I found you ..... can not distance separate us. For now, I am pleased with the progress that we have made, and I can assure you that with time..our communication rate to improve. Thank my life so much more meaningful and gives me a reason to live again

Oh Mark,

I was already very worried because I haven't heard from you for quite some time now. These long days without your messages felt ever so annoying and boring, just like it felt when I was watching the ducks wolfing down the bread I had thrown them in and of course I had put some chewing gum in before, just for my entertainment. I can hardly imagine a future life without you. An improved communication rate would surely be something, so why don't you just write me an email? My address is [email protected].
And no, no distance can tear us apart, and I am hardly able to let you know how much I am looking forward to having a wild ride with you, that is something I am promising you solemnly here and now. Deep down inside of me I feel the stong urge to put some non sense into your life, and I have layed the cards for us (I do believe in the magic power of Tarot), and it was the King of Spades, the King of Spades! Everything will turn out right now, you will be my lust, and I will be you frust ration, and it will come wor se than you willl ever be able to imagine in your wildest dreams!

We're emailing now Cool

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[email protected]

Hello my dear is my John Mark your beautiful friend on tagged site you remind me, here, now, but this is the first time clock communication with you via email in order?

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GT: Honey, I believe in my heart and soul that we were to be together. I think about you every day and night. And if I read you here really you light up my life. You are the best thing that ever happened to me, and I want to return on a star for you, again at my side. The love that I hold for you is in my soul greater than an ocean or the sky above. There are many things in life that people want, such as: cars, big houses, great jobs and much more. All I want in my life is that you and your love Thank you so much for so much confidence in me and in us as a couple. I want you to know how much I love you sincerely, the times we've spent ,. It means so much for me. It seems really as I love you, I honestly do not think forever known and life without you now. There is no turning back, no second thoughts and no regrets to be. I want you and only you need ... when you think about, I think of so many things to tell you, but I can tell you, all I want to tell, because I want you so close to me I miss you, my angel, as I always do. I can almost feel you beside me as I write this letter, and I can smell the scent of wildflowers that always reminds me smell you. I know I can not give the whole world, but I can promise you, I will always love you. My heart is yours, and I'll never break your heart. I'll be right to be with you, as we chase our dreams together, and you will never have to ask if I still care. I think all day long about you. Since you came into my life, I have a smile. It was not a day when I went to sleep with a frown on my face, and it's all because of you. Honey, I'm glad you came into my life. I've always wanted the love of my life, to be understanding, loving, caring, loyal and above all someone who would me as I am to accept. Now I have the person I was looking for in you are found looking for my angel!

Hello Mark,

oh my goodness, I was just about to lose my mind, worrying about you! Oh Mark, and what a wonderful love letter again, so much full of unappreciated love and desire! You make my head spin, and I must find a way to cope with that! I also have strong feelings for you, and all this silence on your side almost made me crazy! I have missed you so much! How are you, and where are you now?
Please let me have your telephone number, I would love to hear your sweet voice!
Louisa

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GT: Honey I know that some decisions are difficult to make, but if affection and love take precedence over all other interests, as all roads luckily wide open and the danger will be free. First of all I would like to make sure that you know that I'm starting to love you very much love in my life than before and also you will most wanted and most desired person than anyone could possibly be. You have to know that nothing in the world better than what happened between us are now `s; I think we are closer to grow and really good. I think we are becoming more intimate, in every respect, and that this union is getting bigger; and that`s the very pleasing, as two people could want. Therefore, I must remind you, (even if that takes a simple letter or email) that you don`t be afraid to be on something, at least not as long as we're together, so close and united partner. I miss you so much, I can`t wait to see and kiss every inch of your face, every bit his lips, every little corner of you ... Lately I have sympathy with the moment we are thinking reunion, and saturate all this desire that has taken over us in such an intense but wonderful way. I leave you with the first of many kisses I would like to offer you ... Again, my angel, I'm in Canada now officeal assnment that my company sent me to do, and I'm here to have just two weeks now, and here is my United Kingdom Phone: +447937430143 I calls from it here because my line is on romaing network, I use it everywhere I go okay, I too will love it, your phone number here too well .....

Number billable as mobile number
Country or destination United Kingdom
City or exchange location
Original network provider* Jersey Telecom

Honey,
sure some decisions are difficult to make, but affection and love must prevail over everything else that sees itself all by itself! I yearn for you very muchly, and I kiss and every inch of your face! What are you doing now in Canada, and how long will you have to stay there? I would like so much to meet with you, eh, to join me permanently with you! And with the phone I don't understand now, you're in Canada and you have an English number there because you're in a Romanian roaming network? In what city are you in Canada, that's an enormously big country! When will you be back?
Yours, Louisa

Posted: Fri Dec 04, 2015 2:59 pm

Mark is kind of slow, but he is still around.

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GT: Hello my angel good morning, how was your weekend, as I'm sure it also really enjoyed and how are you today, Well honey, as I said in my last message that am here for an official assignment, and I'm in two weeks to be in the UK, said time from now, I mean, this month also ends the phone number I gave you my UK line and I get so everywhere I go, therefore, gave the number, but may I ask do you have any problem with it ? Again, I'm in town called Alberta, you must know the place or do you plan to be in Canada? Please darling please give me your phone number, so I will give you a call from here, because I can not wait to hear your lovely sweet voice on the phone for the first time in order! Finally, have a wonderful, peaceful and beautiful new week ago well ... Kiss Kiss Kiss

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GT: Honey, my love, is every morning a wonderful blessing from God. There is hope that gives us another start in what we call life THEREFORE so to open their eyes to a new world out there waiting for you to come and explore. Welcome The New morning with a smile and a determination to do something big. Good morning and have a great day before.

Oh Mark....so you're in Alberta now? That must be a nice town for sure, has it already started to snow? In my home town they have already put up all this nice and shiny bright lighted Easter decoration, that is what I love most about this time of the year. Why are you asking me whether I am planning on coming and visiting Canada? Canada is too far away from me, and I do not speak any Canadian

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JF6wEKtzCdQ

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Good morning darling, how are over there for me and how was your night's sleep as, really honey I can not control, these wonderful feelings that I feel right now, you and I also hope you feel the same way for me.I am you think insanely in love with you now because I miss all the seconds and minutes of my life, just laying down on my bed right now about you and me. Again my queen, reading from you is the loving and beautiful thing that I never want to stop doing it, you're the new light that shines in my darkness. Without your tender love and sincere feelings, my life is not going to be relevant! I love you so much, honey! Finally, please my love to save my phone number on your phone, so if you call know'm the one calling in order.
Kiss kiss kiss kiss

Good evening my favourite love of all,
how are you doing over there, what is your local time now? Isn't Alberta in a different time zone than Bärlin? We have just set back our clocks to Transsylvanian time a few weeks ago, I think it was in a night from a Saturday to a Sunday, or how else would that work out at all? Honey, I have instantly saved your number on my phone, and I am waiting for yor call most impatiently! You British guys have such a lovable and sexy accent, I just can't seem to get enough of it! I just feel the same way than you do, I also want it, and I want it asap. I can hardly control myself.....and I also want to be fixed on my bed by you, when will you make it happen?
Just you and me and the bed and some cable ties, so how about that? Trust versus trust...so what do you think?
Do you like poems?
I love poems.
This is my favourite poem, it was composed by C.H. Eater in 1954, and it is an ambiguous, hollow-walled iambic in a 3/4-waltz-time, a very special version of a monopodic hexameter:

M E L U S I N E
"Kraweel"
"Kraweel"
Taubtrüber Ginst am Musenhain!
Trübtauber Hain am Musenginst!
"Kraweel"
"Kraweel"

I have made up a poem for you on my own, and I hope you will like it:

Oh you cupid stammer
how you un nerve me
with your evernending meed for my groney
you just desire one thing
and mat is thy money
how I yate hou
you are offing me peace (pronounced: piss)
you tragical sheat of peace
I will rake you megret
Do you stand under me?
No.
You don't under stand me.
Thus it shall be.
Just you and me.
For ever.

Posted: Fri Dec 04, 2015 4:21 pm

Mark is amazing. He really loved my poem, and he called me on my cell phone. That was a very challenging conversation. He can write to me in German, but he can't speak any German. I can write to him in German, but I can't speak any English. That is at least what he thinks.

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GT: 2015-11-20 10:36 GMT + 08: 00 Mark john <[email protected]>:

My love I'm so very happy to hear your beautiful voice on the phone when I called, and I'm much you promise here that I learn how to speak German, so that we can on the phone for the clock ready to do everything, our beautiful relationship sure to communicate successfully is okay, honey, you will call again when next I Leisure okay?

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Again, because I lived for anyone responsible for a long time, answering anyone & dedicated anyone except myself. During this period of my life when I World mine for the taking up and truly believed that I. The life to the fullest Then they came to the picture, and suddenly I realized that I was deceiving myself. I am an incomplete man in need of wholeness.
I find that my life is not all that I thought it was.In fact, it is terribly lacking in many things especially as love. Now, by some good fortune, I have that to find love and with him the one person who can make my life truly complete and you are the person, and I somehow falls undeniably in love with you. To be honest, I never thought I would never utter these words, but now that they come out. Effortlessly and with great sincerity I'm forever grateful that you showed me just how shallow my life was his last, I have a chance to give it depth and purpose. I personally wanted to tell you this, but I knew the right words would escape me ... his sudden but that's how I feel, I have shied away from this so long, but I realized that you the right to know! I really love you. Good morning my darling ....... kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss

Oh hello again, my beloved Mark!
Thank you for your call, it was such an experience to hear your sweat and sexy British accent, I could fall for that alone at any time! I was very excited for more than another hour, and Mark, I love you, I love you so much! I have fallen in love with you undeniably, too. It is nice to know that I have made you realize how superficial your life was before you have meated me, and I guess that it is now that we will get the party really started. Over the weekend I will write another poem, about our love, and I do sincerely hope that you willl be looking forward to reading it, do you like poems? Take good care of yourself! I love you
Louisa

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GT:
Yes, my angel I like poetry only that I do not have time to get ready, it's because of work on me every day! Again Honey you know that God has his own reasons to make for us and got so far, and as you can see, our love is beyond what it is thriving in front of right. I sureing you that our love for each other so much stronger than all the oceans may encounter. Because my love has grown so much that I never imagined this life without you next to me every now and then that I would be you getting to you, no matter what the world turns out to be. My heart is always yearning for your love and care forever. I love you more more more.

Good morning to you in the wonderful and pretty town of Alberta,

my one and only Honey, thank you so much for your letter, and oh, how I love it that you also like poetry! We do have something in common there indeed, ain't that fantastically awesome? Would you write a poem for me? I do acknowledge the fact that you are short of time, so I would be content with something simple and plain, it really doesn't have to be a double-grounded, twice-walled imabic hexametric iambus! Oh Mark...please please make up a poem for me! I am also more than happy to see how our love is growing and blooming and blossoming and such, and i cannot imagine a life without you anymore! I am very grateful for providence making our paths crucify themselves, because if it goes the way God wants it to go, everyone is going to get what one deserves. And that is what you are going to get now. And I am also getting what I have been looking for. Someone like you. I have been just looking for someone like you.
I love you.
Louisa
P.S. When will you call me again? You sound so incredibly sexy!!!!

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GT: Honey my love, how are you today and how you enjoyed the weekend'm sure all good for you! My angel, you know that there are things in life that are inevitable; I am powerless to control them. The sun rises and is set, the tide will come and go, the seasons are changing, the birds fly south for the winter and will be back in the spring, and the caterpillar will turn into a (beautiful) Butterfly. Somehow I feel reassured by this because many other things as ephemeral in life - so eyes. But from the moment we met, I knew that our friendship would develop into something lasting and precious. My love, I think, certainly in my mind, of our love is blessed ordained by God. It is a union of two spirits for everlasting happiness one soul are determined. So you really have the stars in my life that brings to be light and warmth when I need me in this dark world. They offer me the promise of renewal, the joy of life, the peace of mind that comes from sharing and caring, and that shoulder to lean on in times of stress. You're my Swallow from Capistrano - my precious butterfly, and I will always love you and love you. good morning my love

Hello Mark,

finally I do hear from you again, I was already getting worried! How are you doing, my Honey? And Honey, thank you so much for your poetic letter, well.......there was not really a rhyme or any rhythm in it at all, but I will let that go by for now, because I love you. I would love to be your Swallow of Capistrano, if only I knew what the heck that is, I was not the best in biology, but I take it it is something that can fly? An insect? Oh Mark, you have promised to call me again, but you haven't, so when will you call me again? How long will you have to stay in Alberta, when will you be returning back home to Europe? I love you, and i kiss you, and I have written another poem for you:

That pierced the fearful hollow of thine ear;
Nightly she sings on the pomegranate tree there.
Believe, dear, me, it was the nightingale.
The lark was it that Tagverkünderin,
Not the butterfly; See the neid'schen Streif,
The fringes there in East Early clouds.
The night has burned out their candles,
The sprightly day climbs the wuthering heights
Only hurry save me, default is death.

In love, your Louisa

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From: "Mark john" <OMP [email protected]>
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re:

My sweet love like you are there for me'm sure everything go well with you right, as for me am also happy to read your e-mail again, because it good to wear me strength! Honey I'm going to be rounding this weekend here in Alberta and I should return to the UK to go on Sunday, but it is the important commissions that came to my business, there's a very big contract and my company that I to be that the work on Monday there next week for wage work because of my old burdens that make me from traveling to New Zealand and there after work I'll do my holiday to come home from work, I use, and to see the engineers, you need to do personally because right there in your country or anywhere you can at this time I promise it, so that we both to stay with you in order together and enjoy our lives during my vacation in order, my dear, but please honey I hope you wait, and you give me this little time to work on the contract for the next week, please if I refuse to go, I'll end up losing my job, I want my condition to understand here? So please always good care of yourself there for me until I come to be with you in real life in order, my love in order!

Ouch......Mark! If I got that right, you will have to stay longer in Alberta and will go to New Zealand from there for a vacation and you will work? You will work during your vacation? Oh Mark, that sounds ever so exciting, I always wanted to go to New Zealand, the landscape is said to be beautiful, and there are still plenty of wild living unicorns around, so whenever you see one, will you please take a picture for me? How long will you stay there, when will you be coming home? Will you stay in a hotel,, and will your romanian roaming network also network over there? And you had promised to call me again, but you haven't...I am so disappointed! But I have another poem for you:
Zig
Zag
Chicken
Poop

I love and miss you
Louisa

He obviously didn't bother to translate this poem. He had a fair chance, but he chose not to take it. Instead, he's coming on in Spanish now

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Hola mi amor como estas por favor que he estado muy ocupado con mi trabajo aquí es por eso que he conseguido tiempo por venir, ya en línea, por favor, de nuevo me perdone! Miel por favor, no tiene piedad por nada en esta relación encantadora conmigo bien porque después de este contrato que voy a hacer en Nueva Zelanda durante dos meses, voy a tener más tiempo de tres meses para estar con usted en persona durante mis vacaciones bien, pero todo que quiero y necesito de ti es un pequeño por ciento hasta entonces porque estoy bajando mi empresa, así que tengo que ir a por el contrato? Una vez más voy a amar a alojarse en uno de los mejores hoteles en Alemania existe cuando llego allí, por favor, mi amor no te preocupes lo que costará, o sobre mi hasta mantengo tendré cuidado de cada factura a mí mismo cuando me vienen bien para i quiero contigo. Por último le daré un mañana llamada durante mi hora de la mañana aquí está bien! Buenos días mi único amor y tienen un maravilloso pacífico, encantador fin de semana, de ahí para mí

Translation: Hello my love how are you please I've been busy with my work here is why I've got time to come, already online, please forgive me again! Honey please, have no pity for anything in this lovely relationship with me well because after this contract going to do in New Zealand for two months, I'll have more time than three months to be with you in person during my holidays well, but all I want and need from you is a small percentage until then because I'm lowering my company, so I have to go for the contract? Again I will love to stay in one of the best hotels in Germany there when I get there, please, my love do not worry about what it will cost, or my to keep'll take care of every bill myself when I come good i want you to. Finally'll give you a call tomorrow during my morning here is good! Good morning my only love and have a wonderful peaceful, lovely weekend away for me ..........
..........

Good day to you, my love,

why do you write to me in Spanish? I do not speak or understand any Spanish, although Spanish is a very romantic language indeed! I love to listen to Spanish, can you talk Spanish to me on the phone next time? Are you already in New Zealand, or still in Alberta? Oh Mark, you seem to be leading an interesting life, you get around for sure! I am regarding this with envious eyes, because I would like to, but I don't dare, because I only speak German and I always fear I might starve abroad because I am not able to order my food. Do you also speak New Zealandish, or do they understand English there? I am so muchly looking forward to hearing you on the phone again soonest!
I love you
Louisa

Posted: Fri Dec 04, 2015 6:46 pm

Quote:

From: "Mark john" <[email protected]>
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re:

Oh my God, honey'm really sorry that a mistake of mine was, but you know, I'm here to communicate with translation when you pray I knew that if I write to you Spanish well ........ , I promise, such mistakes will not happen again here, and I told you that I was in please here tomorrow to leave Canada in Alberta to a new commissioned work on New Zealand, what I said before, you might not have my message well understood? So I'm off tomorrow Monday from 11.30 clock in the morning in order, but when I get there I will give you another call in order, my dear?

A niceful wonderevening to you, my beloved Mark!
Thanks again for your phone call, it was so nice to hear your voice again! Mark, honestly now, have you ever considered to become a singer? Your voice is so incredibly smooth and greasy, so pliably mellable, if not pliantly lissome......it touches my soul, really! I hope you know what I mean? Well, if you don't, it really don't matter that much, I'm just saying. I love to sing. I love to sing most when there is a fire, and the bigger the fire, the more I love to sing. Can you play an instrument? Can you play the lyre? I cannot, but how I wish I could! Oh Mark, I have got myself a dog from the local animal shelter this morning, his name is Nero, and he is howling at the moon at night, can you believe this? Well, dogs can be kind of strange, but I was just getting sick and tired of being alone.
I have made up another poem for you:

When darkness plays, an evening solidifies.

Gold and beauty radiate sometimes.

I dance and think.

Often I touch the grass.

The bell grows rough and golden.

Paths and messengers are down there stormy.

Who is kissing a plant?

The Poet.

I love and kiss you
Yours, Louisa

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2015-12-02 11:19 GMT + 08: 00 Mark john <[email protected]>:

Hello my love good morning, how was your sleep last night, I am honey, right here in New Zealand but now am in my hotel room now with some rest, but tomorrow I'll go to the remote area where I and my co see -Works will do, the ocean work of drying oil directly in the sea here, is that on the Treaty, as I shall sooner in order, but as of now I before I have given you the day everyday, how my program to go told you that work in perfect order! Please have a nice and quiet day all through out there for me ... I love you so much.

Quote:

Posted: Thursday 03 December 2015 at 05:58 clock
From: "Mark john" <[email protected]>
To: Louisa

Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re:
Good morning, my angel, how was your night's sleep as you had breakfast? It has been here for me Honey another busy moment we walked we will see there today do the oil Ocean work in the remote area, but two or three days before we will work okay to start in full-time, but before then tomorrow I'm going to be the shopping to get some, I'll need more or use it, we are in here for two or three months here working all right.

Whoa, Mark......you are already in New Zealand? This is ever so exciting! How is like there, can you send me some pictures? What is the name of your hotel, can I call you there? Are you en route the whole day, what is the best time to reach you? I want to hear your sweat soul voice again as soon as possible, I gotta go now, today is my bowling night! I love and kiss you!!!
Your wife Louisa

Oh là là.....my Baby wants to send me a package! Cool

Quote:

Honey I told you like it here in my last message, I went to the mall today, some of the things that I get here until the work is over for me during my shopping, but I saw some beautiful that I think is good for You and I decided also to buy something as a surprise Christmas present for you, so you 'Whenever you make use it, you will remember on, I'm going with you personally as soon as I can be carried out with the custom work! Honey really am sure you will accept it from me, please do not esta reject because it made my lovely heart, you okay? But before next Tuesday me and my colleagues will go in the sea, to work full-time here in order to start in the remote area. Thank you and have nice morning out there for me in order.
Also again I ask honey will like you to give me your full name and house number street, because I have your cell phone number and your e-mail box with me here, this is the company the opportunity to contact service If the Package the gift that I be sent to you through them it will get in your country for you fine. So they call you and tell you when they come to make it okay to deliver directly to your home for you?

Good morning my lover,

My God, did you really buy a gift for me, at the mall? And I thought you were very far out in the bush and then after that do the oil Ocean work in the remote area! That you have found the time to buy a gift for me with all your professional stress, that's really very sweet of you, I love you for doing that! Mark, it is not so simple though to send me anything from the foreign New Zealand, and I will have to know in advance what's exactly in it and how much it's worth, because I will have to pay customs duties if the amount exceeds the allowance! Hach Mark, I'm very excited! Come on, tell me, what's in there, in the package?
I love you!!
kiss Kiss Kiss

your Louisa

Posted: Fri Dec 04, 2015 8:22 pm

^ Great stuff! Hilarious when he slipped into Spanish. What a moron.

I had no idea German love poems were so soul-stirring.... Your verse is a total lad magnet!

Posted: Sat Dec 05, 2015 2:03 am

So this lad is also working a Spanish-speaking victim. It might be fun if Louisa puts 2 and 2 together. Lads love it when their women get jealous.

Posted: Sun Dec 06, 2015 9:48 am

He either doesn't read, or he doesn't understand what he reads. Those are the lads I love most of all. He comes up with a fake homepage now (reported):

Quote:

Oh my love I want to do just that, and I have been to the courier company that takes it to be delivered to you as it was yesterday that I left the city to launch the long range, the Treaty directly in the sea full-time sent, where I will work. Please forward your full name or your house number address to me here, I'm going for the company by e-mail, but before sending the package to you please send me your tracking number, then i will give you includes the gift, I remember I said, is a surprise Christmas present from me, so that you do not have to worry about anything on this fine, my love!

Oh good morning my beloved Mark,
are you already at work in the middle of the Sea, or did I get that wrong? Can you dive? How long can you stay under the surface without breathing? Oh Mark, you are quite an awesome man, really! Mark, you have not yet told me what you have put into that parcel, I do not want to get into any trouble with the customs authorities, so you have to promise me that you will let me know what is in there before you send it, do you promise me that? My full names is Louisa v.d. Vogelweide, and I live in Berlin, but I will go and spend 3 weeks with a good friend of mine in a town in Southern Germany next Monday, we will do some charity work in a refugee camp, and I will be paid by the Bundesregierung for this time because I will have to close my business. Oh Mark, I miss you so much! Please take good care of yourself while you're under water, I know there are sharks in New Zealand!
I love you, kiss kiss!
Louisa

Quote:

Honey my sweet love Good morning, here please is the details of the package contains, which I did not sent to you:

A flower, 1 wristwatches, 1 Confidential Document, Diamond Necklace, gold necklace, sum of 10,000.00 pounds sterling sealed. Apple laptop, 1 i pad, i phone 6+, pairs of shoes, 4 packs of chocolate, 1 gold ring and a diamond bracelet, Victoria Secrets underwears and night dress

Again, this is your tracking number / account number: 1074622***
Please note, please enter this tracking numbers (1074622***) twice before you Click on company's Web site down here!

So just click on their website: the broadcast online all of the details of the package is ok then see: lad's fake website.com

Oh good morning my beloved love Mark,

Many many thanks for your wonderful letter, I was almost shocked with delight when I read what you are sending me! This is just too good to be true, and can I really accept that? I mean you have not even met me in person, and yet you want to give me such a generous gift? Oh Mark, that is truly amazing, and I love you so much! and you have really bought Victoria's Secret underwear for me? You do not know my size, so what size did you buy? Hopefully it will fit me, and what colour is it? My favourite colour is burgundy red! And diamonds? DIAMONDS? Oh Mark, I love diamonds, oh thank you so much! When will the parcel arrive, and how long can you stay under water without breathing? Mark, you are such a cool person! I have taken a look at the tracking code, the parcel is already on its way! Oh, that is so exciting! And why on earth did you put so much cash in there? That is unbelievably generous, and I can use it well!
I love you, I love you, I love you!!
Take good care of yourself!
Kiss kiss kiss
Your Louisa

Posted: Sun Dec 06, 2015 6:42 pm

No news in my email...and I am waiting for this gold- and diamond-and cash-and-underwear loaded parcel ever so impatiently! Meanwhile the fake homepage has been exposed to the Eater elite site killers. I have done some further research on my own, and I was surprised to find out that it somehow links into Berlin, the place where my character is located.
Their homepage IP is 81.169.178.45

ETA: reason enough to send an email to my lad, telling him that I will be gone now, and I have left Berlin to meet my friend in Hessen

Hello and good evening my beloved love of all Mark,

I will be on my way soon to meet my friend Julia in Hessen. Please do NOT send the valuable parcel to me in Berlin, do you think it will be possible to send it to my hands to her address in Hessen?
The address is Frau Louisa von der Vogelweide
c/o Frau Julia L.-Z.
Weinbergstr. 14 b
63584 Gründau (Gemeinde Lieblos), Main-Kinzig-Kreis, Hessen/Deutschland
I love and miss you....when will you call me again? Can I maybe also call you?
Kiss kiss kiss
Yours, Louisa

Posted: Tue Dec 08, 2015 6:20 pm

Quote:

So this lad is also working a Spanish-speaking victim. It might be fun if Louisa puts 2 and 2 together. Lads love it when their women get jealous.

How come I didn't think of it? It's never too late, I did it today. I just translated his message into Spanish, copied and pasted it into his original email....and then blamed him for writing to me in Spanish AGAIN. It worked fine; he told me that I am the only one

Quote:

Von: "mark john"
Miel mi dulce amor lo siento mucho por mi última contestación por favor, estoy muy ocupado con el trabajo, pero yo soy libre, en cualquier momento del trabajo voy a escribir aquí ..... mi ángel te espero a la naturaleza de mi trabajo entender ahora! Así que, ¿cómo estás allí para me'm Seguro que muy bien derecha, la miel, incluso si estoy ocupado con el trabajo, sigo pensando que una gran cantidad va bien en el amor!
Por último, por favor, cuando usted recibe el paquete del mensajero, hágamelo saber bien.
Te quiero mucho más
BUENOS DÍAS mi esposa PRONTO

Kiss Kiss Kiss Kiss Kiss

My sweet love honey I'm sorry for my late reply please, I'm very busy with work, but I am free at any time from work'll write here my angel ..... hope you the nature of my work understand now! So, how are you there for sure I'm very well right, honey, even if I'm busy with work, I still think a lot going well in love!

Finally, please, when you receive the parcel courier let me know well.
I love you more
HELLO my wife SOON

Kiss Kiss Kiss Kiss Kiss

Oh my beloved love Mark,

you must never ever do that again, not to write to me for such a long period of time, I was so worried about you, so many many things could have happened, like you could have stayed under water for too long or you could have swallowed the wrong way or you could have been attacked by a dangerous sharkfish, things like that can happen easily when one is working out in the far out remoteliness of the open ocean! Mark, are you doing all right?
Mark, and WHY DID YOU WRITE TO ME IN SPANISH AGAIN? I do not speak any Spanish, you know that, don't you? Are you writing letters with another woman? IS THERE ANOTHER WOMAN?
Mark, I am very very jealous, and if there is another woman, I will break up with you immediately, do you understand that? Don't get me wrong, I love you, but I want you for myself, I would never ever share you with another woman!
I love you, Baby, and I am so excited! Have you told the delivery service to send the parcel to Hessen? And please tell the driver not to come around before 5.00 pm, because Julia and I will not be back home any earlier! What colour is the underwears, and what size did you buy? And how long can you stay under water?
I love you so much, I am the happiest woman in the whole wild world, and I am almost like crazy for your love

Kiss kiss kiss
Your jealous darling wife Louisa

Quote:

Honey, you only love of my life I please have no woman part of you about writing in Spanish, please I make a mistake sometimes okay? Please note, dear doubts for you all right? Again, as for the gift I bought for you, you just relax when you receive it then check the size okay! I love you more more

Good evening my dearest beloved Schnuckiputzi,

may I call you Schnuckiputzi, my love? I love nicknames, and I want you to give me a nickname too, because that is what lovers do, and would you please calll me your little "Dumpfbäckchen"? That would be so sweet, that is the sweetest nickname of all, it is just irresistably sweet! Your Freudian Spanish slip will be forgiven and forgotten, but only this one time, please do not EVER do that again! I can hardly wait to try on the underwear and the diamond necklace, and while I will do that, I will try hard to picture how you will tear it all off of me again with your teeth, wildly and passionately, before you will come upon me like a hurricane, and how long was it again that you can stay under water, and when will you come back home to Europe? And Schnuckiputzi, may I do whatever I want with these 10.000 pounds? I mean that comes pretty close to 5.000 kg after all, and one can do surely something with that much!
I love you so much, I love you, I love you, I love you!
And I bet I love you more than you will ever love me!
Kiss kiss kiss kiss
Your wife Louisa

ETA: Lad just called me on my baiter phone. I cannot record incoming calls, but it was some funny. The call lasted just a few minutes, Lad spoke English, which my character does neither speak nor understand. I only spoke German with him, which of course he didn't understand.
Our conversation went something like this:

Lad: "Muah, muah, muah.......my Baby....I love you, my Baby"

Me: "Oh....good evening, my dirty little scammer rat"

Lad: "Muah, muah.....oh my baby...my sweet wife"

Me: " Yes......I think you're a pretty disgusting character, too"

Lad: "I love you so much, my Baby.....oh muah muah muah"

Me: " Oh, you're a worthless piece of shit, and I just hate you"

Lad: "My Baby, I will send you an email. I love you, muah muah"

Me: "Yes, and you may kiss my ass, too"

Lad: "Good night, my Sweetheart, I love you, muah muah"

Me: "Good night, you worthless scumbag, see you soon"

Lad: "Muah muah muah"

Posted: Wed Dec 09, 2015 6:08 pm

The delivery company was very motivated to establish a contact today. 3 text messages and 3 incoming calls between 6.00 and 6.30 am my time, and they have also sent an email + bank account information. I replied to their email only a few hours later, but they haven't written back. That might have something to do with the fact that their fake website + mail address is no longer available.

Quote:

From: info@kangarowolrdwideexpress.com
TO WHOM IT MAY CONCERN
ATTENTION: Louisa von der Vogelweide
ADDRESS: Germany, Berlin
Consignment number: 1074622439

With respect to the Company,

Madam over delivery of your package. We want to hear from you, which is your package on ice by the Malaysian customs officer for a number of reasons that bring down to happen it violates shipping policy of this country.

Since the goods arrived Malaysian checkpoint, recognized that the Malaysian Custom currency were included in your package.

In this particular Commission shall constitute the customs on us, which is for the immediate dispatch of your package to be paid. Is pending the main time reference tracking on the "status" of the package, this is consistent with the nature of the operations in the courier industry for financial delivery. We have already made order for this package from the habit.

You are required to give all the instructions to you to follow to facilitate the release of the package. To do this, you are obliged to pay down the immediate release of the package mentioned costs. Upon confirmation of payment, your package will be delivered to your designated address above few hours after confirming your payment.

Outstanding Charges:
Administrative ................................................. .... (350 Euro)
Clearance ................................................. ........... (500 euro)

TOTAL = (850 euros)

Note: You should use the money from your country currency to pay us the total amount (850: EUR)

This has to be loaded. In recognition of this email, so account information to be provided to you for payment available, as stated above (For the release of the package)

Thank you. We hope that we ourselves clear from this notice as directed by management. We apolgize for the inconvenience.

Thank you so much for the use of: Kangar00 Worldwide Express Delivery COMPANY: for the delivery of your packages and business needs.
Present your order number when you call, so that we can honor your calls.
We are pleased to assist you,

Yours faithfully,
Mrs. Rayang Ramang
Southeast Asia Regional Co-ordinator,
KANGAR00 Worldwide Express Delivery COMPANY MALAYSIA INDUSTRIES,
Tel: +60169928581

To please find Madam the process of solving your package and do the payment through our account officer subsidiary bank account below:

Please use this account data information at here for direction, the payment to us:

Name of bank: C I M B BANK
Account numbers: 703172****
Account Name: NURHAFIZAH B. MULE
Swift Code: CIBBMYKL
Bank address: 32, Khoo Yun Heang Street, 93000 Kuching, Sarawak.
Location: Kuala Lumpur
Country: Malaysia.

Name of our account managers who counts for Western Union or MoneyGram is: Even Madam You can send money to send over any Western Union or MoneyGram office near where you live / work with this

Here is the details information of the recipient name below:
Recipient Name: Nurul A. MULE
LOCATION: KUALA LUMPUR
In: Malaysia

Please payment is possible as early as today. Is carried out immediately after payment, please call or send them an email a scanned copy of the bank transfer form of payment for the official recording purposes or send an SMS to the number that you. The details of the payment, sender's name, amount, pin number

CONCLUSION: As soon as we receive a confirmation and proof of payment of the fee, we will send your package immediately withing few hours.

The expected time will be sent to you. We are pleased to assist you.
We apologize for any inconvenience this may have caused you as a highly respected customers.
Thank you for using: Kangar00 Worldwide Express Delivery Company for the delivery of your packages and business needs.

Yours faithfully,
Mrs. Rayang Ramang
Southeast Asia Regional Co-ordinator,
KANGAR00 Worldwide Express Delivery COMPANY MALAYISA BRANCH,
Tel: +60169928581

For more inquiries or suggestions, please visit our website at http://kangaroowolrdwideexpress.com or write to us back to info@kangaroowolrdwideexpress.com

Reply to delivery service:

Hello Mrs Ramang,

there is a mistake! The parcel must NOT be send to Berlin, because I am in Hessen now. Besides, I am shocked to hear that my parcel is ON ICE! ON ICE?? There is also chocolate in there, and chocolate must NEVER be frozen! Please make sure to get the parcel off the ice immediately and please be so kind and confirm the changed delivery address!
And please do NOT ever call me again so early in the morning, you woke me up!
Thank you
Louisa

I cannot track my valuable parel anymore. Mark needs to be informed about the development.

Hello Schnuckiputzi,

I am really confused now, just imagine, this Cangaroo company called me already shortly after 6.00 am this morning, they have called me 3 times, and there was a woman on the phone speaking to me, and I couldn't understand a single thing she said! She has also sent me several SMS text messages, and she has sent me an email to let me know the Malaysian customs has put my parcel on ICE! Oh Schnuckiputz......there is also chocolate in the parcel, and chocolate must BY NO MEANS EVER be frozen, it will go bad, I know it well, and I don't believe the cold will be of any good for the jewelry! Oh, what a mess! I have written back to that woman as soon as I could, and I told her to make sure to get the parcel off the ice as soon as possible, and then on top of that she had the wrong receiver address! I am in Hessen since Monday, and she wrote "delivery to Berlin"!
Schnuckiputzi, I wanted to check my tracking information once again today, but all I see is nothing, I am not able to connect when I click on the homepage link. Schnuckiputzi, how are you doing, is everything going well with your work out there in the wide open Ocean? I love you, I love you, I love you!!! I am thinking about you all the time!!!
Kiss kiss kiss kiss
Your Dumpfbäckchen Louisa

Posted: Wed Dec 09, 2015 8:43 pm

2 incoming phone calls from Schnuckiputz Cool

He appeared to be very excited and upset, so I couldn't understand at all what he was trying to tell me. 15 minutes on the phone from Malaysia, and all for nothing. Poor lad. He has sent me a real wordwall with his first email, but that don't impress me much. There will of course not be any payment made before I will not be able to track my shipment again. Get going, boys....just set up a new homepage.

Quote:

Honey my sweet love, I received a letter and a phone call from the company today saying that the money that I within the package gift that was sent by their office here Zealand said that comes to your country, is against the Government of Malaysian Custom policy and the fact that they paid here against their custom shipping policies in Malaysia and therefore the charge is must before the package can share and deliver to you to be there in your country! So now honey the only way for this package to be to get away from them when the charge to pay them and that's all, or, if not I'm going to lose everything in it because of after reading this writing Company immediately I called her on the phone to know why we need to pay these fees, but they told me, if we fall, comply with these payment means that :, that Malaysia customs officials to seize the package? So now honey my love I please want you to do it your best in my name, to ensure that you and this payment, they make as soon as possible so that the Malaysia Custom Office is the package to the company back release so that they continue their process of delivering the parcel to you directly in your house is there where I work now here in New Zealand is a very large secluded area in the sea make an ocean work of drying oil here and there is no way, I can help you, me from here that the money to pay it, because there is no way I can do no money financial transaction through here in a remote area, and I can not even come from here, until I with commissioned work here please honey my love I do need your help now help you to pay me the money to them in order, and soon the company will deliver my parcel to you there, you will still get your money back me directly in the package in order my money's remember, within this package 10,000 and that's why the Malaysia Individual officials put my package gift for you on-hold and that's why they ask this fee from you before you put it back in To solve the company, please help to pay me the money to the future, please, because my life back Confidential document in this package, I will show you when I here so can there after my contract work I show my listings documented there in your country as my first and only love in my heart and my real love for you, before I prove I'm there treasure. Please save my life confidential document, which is to save my life in it please my dear honey, the most important for me?

Quote:

Honey please go tomorrow morning and pay 850 € through Western Union or MoneyGram to the company, the Malaysian Custom Authority release my package back so that it will deliver there activate in Germany for you?

p

Please this name to make the payment of the future:

Please the 850 Euro at this Details below through Western Union or MoneyGram OFFICE IN GERMANY?

Recipient Name: Nurul MULE
LOCATION: KUALA LUMPUR
In: Malaysia

Oops? Lad has put lots of cash money inside the parcel, and that violates the Malaysian customs policy? His problem, or mine? Hmm.....

Good evening my one and only beloved Schnuckiputzi,

have I not kindly asked you to address me as your "Dumpfbäckchen", which is my favourite nick name of all? Is that such a problem, and if it is, why would that be? Is that really asked too much? Really?
I am very disappointed, and what was it that was going on on the phone when you just called me twice? I could barely hear you, and even if I had heard you, I could not have understood.
Oh Schnuckiputz, and what exactly does it mean when you say that you have put cash money bill notes into the parcel and that that is a violation of the Malaysia customs policy......oh my God, and does that mean that now the Malaysia customs Police are after me just because you did that? Schnuckiputzi, I have NEVER asked you to send me any monies, so why did you do that at all? So now I obviously am in severe legal trouble, and I do not find that funny at all, and oh my goodness, what am I supposed to do now? Why is it that I cannot see my parcel online anymore?
Schnuckiputzi, it is not a problem at all to pay the fee, but I want to be able to see my parcel online, and I need a formal invoice from this Kangar00 company, because I am eligible to claim the Malaysian VAT back from my local Finanzamt! Schnuckiputzi, should you be in contact with this company, can you please make sure that they will do everything in their power to get my chocolate OFF THE ICE?? I have tried to call them, but apparently my calling plan won't let me connect!
I love you, I love you, I love you more than you will ever love me!!
Kiss Kiss Kiss Kiss Kiss Kiss
Your Darling Dumpfbäckchen Louisa

Posted: Wed Dec 09, 2015 9:54 pm

Talk about a true laugh-out-loud bait, this is outstanding!

"Schnuckiputzi"??

And this had me laughing so hard my jaw aches:

Quote:

Oh you cupid stammer
. . .

you just desire one thing
and mat is thy money
how I yate hou
. . .

you tragical sheat of peace
. . .

Brilliant stuff, I look forward to the next chapter.

Wannabe Baiter Joined: 08 May 2010 Posts: 83

So happy to see Julia back...I really missed her.
Zig zag chicken poop still has me laughing hours later.
Can't wait to see how much exasperation she will cause these lads.

Posted: Fri Dec 11, 2015 7:35 am

Mark is getting whiny now, and he even wants to kill himself. That clearly indicates that he needs more poetry to ease his troubled mind.
The gang keeps me pretty busy with phone calls early in the morning, text messages and emails from Mrs Ramang.

Quote:

10.12. 2015 04.44 am

my honey sweet love well, the company said that the package came gift Malaysia Checkpoint on transit, found that the Malaysian Custom currency were included in your package. That's why the package was put on hold by the Malaysian Customs Administration for that they should be, you pay the sum of 850 € for the package to release again, for the company to get it, you over there in Germany within 24 hours as soon as supply in Malaysia sends the money for them?
So honey, it will be no longer a problem if you pay the money to you, because after you made the habit of releasing the package gift and the company will be there to provide you at any address you want to provide them order sweetheart? So please go send the 850 € this morning today

Quote:

10.12.2015 06.18 pm

Honey the world comes to an end for me here, in fact I feel like I will kill me instantly what is happening with my life, so am much worried about this problem over in Malaysia, I can no longer concentrate, with the Treaty clock here I can not even get a good night to sleep more and that's another big problem for me now, because my life is in this package there really I can not lose with what I came here to do right now, as am focus everything so hard, worked so many years God please do not allow this to happen to me what I do. Please I beg your helping hand in this matter in Gods name do not let to pass me through this again?

Quote:

10.12.2015 06.41 pm

Honey my sweet love how was your day, like, please, I want to know if you later send the money to the company to enable today, the Malaysian Custom Authority release my package back for companies so that they in the process of delivery you there continue in your country?

Good evening my beloved Schnuckiputzi,

my day was just like hell. I have told you that I will work in this refugee camp for the next 3 weeks, haven't I? My working day yesterday and the day before yesterday were very exhausting, and I was tired like a dog when I came home late in the evening. And what happened? This dumb Cangaroo woman Mrs Ramang called me at 06.00 am my time, she woke me up, and it felt like in the middle of the night for me! I have already told her the day before yesterday NOT to do that again, but yesterday she did it again, is she totally stupid?
And she has not sent the invoice I need so urgently, and I cannot see my parcel online, and maybe my parcel with the chocolate is still on ice!
Oh Schnuckiputzi, why did you send the parcel through Malaysia, of all places? And what do you mean when you say you want to take your life? And why is your life in the parcel? How could it get in there, and how can you take your life then, if it is in the parcel?
I do not understand, that is all too overwhelming for me!
And why do you say that you world comes to an end? Schnuckiputzi, that is not true, I have checked it out, it does not come to an end in New Zealand, very very far out on the right side there is Argentina, it is far away, but it is there, believe me!
Schnuckiputz, I will send the money immediately after I will have received the invoice, and when I will be able to see my parcel online again! You can rely on me, because I love you so much, I love you more than words can say, I love you! I have composed another poem for you, and I can't wait to hear back from you!
I love you!!

Oh du gerissener Schuft
Wie ich dich verachte
du widerst mich voll an
Ich träume, das ich auf einem Schiff bin
und was sehe ich dann immer, wenn ich über die Bordwand kotze?
Deine widerliche Fresse, wie sie sich im tiefblauen Meerwasser spiegelt
Ich hasse dich.
Aus tiefstem Herzen.

Translation:
Oh you wily scoundrel
How I despise you
You disgust me fully
I dream that I'm on a boat
and what do I see then whenever I puke over the side?
Your disgusting face, reflecting from the deep blue sea waters
I hate you.
From the bottom of my heart

Your sweet Dumpfbäckchen Louisa

Quote:

10.12.2015 um 22:25 Uhr

Honey my sweet love, I called the company on the phone to ask them why the persecution of my package no longer that online, but she said the reason why it has not again because they after settling with the Malaysia Individual Authority so you another tracking number you have one, remove it from its corporate website database for just the? So finally they told me that once you on the money to send them so that they recover our package again from the Custom they promise him again online tracking to go through again, then you are changing the address to see online when checking? My love, what I do with the package is life, that's because I put any of my life confidential document within that package, what I want to show you, if I do here, so I can do anything to you after my contract work about my properties to tell a proof document of them, so you know everything you need to know about me, but now the packaging is held by Malaysian habit, and if you do not help me this money to pay the government agency of Malaysia is my package gift with confiscate those my life confidential document about it I'm so concerned about the matter there in Malaysia now! Please do my first and only love of my life something as soonas possible, this problem in my name there Resolver please pay € 850 to them in time, so that package will securely honey? I'm sure you now know and understand why I feel like killing myself when I lose that confidential documents in there because everything that I have to work so hard for so many years will go just like that .... Honey please save my in time please my mistress?

Good morning my dearest Schnuckiputzi,

oh my goodness, what are you talking about now? You have put a confidential document into that parcel? What kind of document is it? What document could be so important that you are planning to kill yourself now?
Have you not made a copy for your records? Schnuckiputzi, one must make copies of such impotent documents before one sends them out, everone knows that! I must go to work now, and I solemnly promise to send the 850 € as soon as I will be able to see my parcel online again and this Mrs Ramang sends me the invoice I will need for my tax consultant.
Do you want me to compose another poem for you later today, my love?
I love you so much!!!
Your Dumpfbäckchen Louisa

Posted: Fri Dec 11, 2015 8:14 am

The delivery company: Mrs Ramang has called me several times now, although we do not understand each other at all. It's an Asian voice, and she talks like a machine gun.

Quote:

With respect to the Company,
Madam We confirm your e-mail to our database here and we assure you that your package gift will immediately change to the new address will be shipped from you as soon as you make the payment of 850 euros, so we settle with the Malaysian Custom authority, so that the package released first then having changed our delivery process to your country next!
Name of our customer service, which is one of the Western Union or MoneyGram is: ladies and gentlemen, to please find the process of releasing your package and do the payment by any Western Union or MoneyGram office near where you live / work with this Expedite

Here is the details information of the recipient name below:
Recipient Name: Nurul MULE
LOCATION: KUALA LUMPUR
In: Malaysia

We hope that we ourselves clear from this notice as directed by management. We apologize for the inconvenience.
Thank you for using: Kangaroo Worldwide Express Delivery Company for the delivery of your packages and business needs.

Yours faithfully,
Mrs. Rayang Ramang
Southeast Asia Regional Co-ordinator,
KANGAROO Worldwide Express Delivery COMPANY MALAYISA BRANCH,
Tel: +60169928581

For more inquiries or suggestions, please visit our website at http://kangaroowolrdwideexpress.com or write to us back to [email protected]

Hello Mrs Ramang,

you have obviously forgotten to attach the copy of the formal invoice showing the Malasian VAT, which I urgently need to forward to my tax consultant. And just besides, I have told you explicitely NOT to call me at 6.00 am, haven't I? And what did you do? You did it again, are you completely dumb? Furthermore, I wanted to check the online status of my parcel, to make sure that the delivery address is correct now, but the link to your homepage does not work. It is understood that I will not send the fee before I will be able to track my shipment. Please send the invoice.

Kind regards
Louisa v.d. Vogelweide

Quote:

With respect to the Company,
12.00 clock in the afternoon for us, but we sincerely: Madam, we inform you that your time there and our time here is not the same, so that is the reason why we call 06.00 clock in the morning in your country, but here our time is 01 wants to apologize for any inconvenience this may call during this time you may have caused you!

Again for the persecution us when examining the package online, so you change the new address look prompted by us, please note that you do not do it that now, until you meet with the payment of 850 €, so we to return the package to us settle Malaysian Custom Authority them afterwards then takes place we will give you a new tracking number to check your package online, because as for now we have the track number that you have as a result, online isolated role, with the habit?

Finally, ladies and gentlemen, we are trustworthy courier company in the world so do not doubt a lot to us, because we are here to serve you better, and we assure you that this company do anything to help you, your package returned by the custom here, so you do not have to allow in the sending of money across from us, we finish this matter in time for you and deliver it to you there to delay.

Thank you for using: Kangaroo Worldwide Express Delivery Company for the delivery of your packages and business needs.

Yours faithfully,
Mrs. Rayang Ramang
Southeast Asia Regional Co-ordinator,
KANGAROO Worldwide Express Delivery COMPANY MALAYSIA INDUSTRIES,
Tel: +60169928581

For more inquiries or suggestions, please visit our website at http://kangaroowolrdwideexpress.com or write to us back to [email protected]

Good morning Mrs Ramang,

I am still waiting for the invoice! What do you mean when you say that I will get a new tracking number? I already have one, it just does not work, and that is why I have complained!
Mrs Ramang, please make sure that you send the invoice now asap, and also make sure that I will be able to track my parcel, and I will send the 850 € fee immediately then.
Have a nice day.
Regards, Louisa v.d. Vogelweide

Mrs Ramang called me again, just a few minutes ago. She told me to check my email. She also sent another text message. Schnuckiputzi has called me, too. He wanted to hear my sweet voice, and I kept him on the phone for 10 minutes.
Lots of "muah muah muah". He loves me, and he didn't really sound like a man who is just about to kill himself.

Quote:

Please check your email for further information.
Thank you for using Kangaroo Wolrdwide Express Service Delivery Company Malasian branch
Kind regards
Mrs Ramang

Hello Mrs Ramang,

why do you keep on calling me on the phone? I have told you several times now that I do not understand you, the only word I could understand is Email, and I have checked my Email, but there is nothing, my inbox is empty. Is there not anybody in your office who speaks my language?
I am waiting for the invoice. I have to get back to work now.

Regards
Louisa v.d. Vogelweide

Posted: Fri Dec 11, 2015 5:29 pm

You have my deepest respect, MG! Deciphering that mess your lad calls a letter is as painful as it is funny. Rolling Eyes

Posted: Fri Dec 11, 2015 6:18 pm

It is painful and funny indeed! He gives me so many options Cool

Time to make the soup more spicy for the Malaysia branch though.
Mrs Ramang has received an email, and now it will be up to her to choose between pest, cholera or ebola.

Quote:

Gesendet: Freitag, 11. Dezember 2015 um 19:13 Uhr
Von: "WESTERN UNION" <[email protected]>
An: [email protected], [email protected]

Betreff: Pending Transfer Transaction
Dear Sir/Madam,

Western Union Customer Service would like to inform you that there is a pending transaction which is irrevocably subject to additional security measures in accordance with the Western Union general fraud prevention policy in the German province of Hessen. With effect from 1 December 2015, for reasons given, all transactions exceeding the value of 500 € from any city or town/township in the Province of Hessen to any of the countries listed below will be subject to a widened security screening:
Nigeria
Ghana
Burkina Faso
Ivory Coast
South Africa
Malaysia

Dear Sir/Madam, please note the transaction details as mentioned below:

Sender: Mrs Louisa von der Vogelweide
Receiver: Nurul MULE
City: KUALA LUMPUR
Country: MALAYSIA
Amount to be transferred: 850,00 € = 3.970,41 MYR
MTCN: S E C U R E D until further notice

To unsecure and valididate the pending transaction, you have the choice between 3 options:

1. Passport verification
2. Security picture verification
3. Telephone security code verification

IMPORTANT INFORMATION

Dear Sir/Madam,

please do not reply to this automatically automated automatic message. Please do get back to the transaction sender and agree with the sender on how the transaction shall be unsecured.
This automatically automated automatic message has been sent to all parties involved in the transaction.

Kind regards

WESTERN UNION GERMANY
Stefanie Ucks <S.Ucks>
Customer Care Management

ETA: I already do have a Malaysia caller ID for my Skype. But having theirs would be ever so yummie.....and so useful to entirely f*ck up their business Cool

Posted: Sat Dec 12, 2015 5:16 pm

Oh boy, this bunch is really very customer-oriented! Seemingly countless phone calls, text messages....whatever it takes, they offer it. I didn't take Mrs Ramang's calls today, instead I complained about her when I wrote to my Schnuckiputzi. They have a new fake website up and running. But for how long? Reported......I hope it will be killed quickly, just like the first one.

Quote:

Hello, I ask my sweet love how was your day would like to know if you later send the money to the company today, how to help me, so that they the custom so that my package is the money in the settlement Released use promised! Honey please answer me, I am really worried about this matter there in Malaysia .... again, as I told you yesterday my life here Confidential Document in this package is the most important thing that I need there for me the most, and I will be fully in peace and everlasting happiness when the package will arrive in your custody, because I'm sure it will be safe with you, until I come for you, after I finish here!

Quote:

Honey my sweet love, I called you on the phone right now because I do no longer good every time I thought about my life confidential document within the package on which you like to see if I slept well that night there so I thought to sleep! I always love you so much more wholeheartedly honey keep that in mind!

Good evening my beloved Schnuckiputzi,

you must know that this strange and weird Mrs Ramang is gradually straining my patience more and more, my love! She gabbles into my mailbox, and she keeps on calling me, but today I just didn't take her calls, I do not like her voice at all! She sends one text message after the other, but she absolutely fails in sending the documents I urgently need before I can receive the parcel! Well, at least I am able to see the parcel online again now, that is better than nothing. You don't have to worry at all, Schnuckiputzi, your Dumpfbäckchen will take appropriate care of the parcel and your impotent document!
I love you so much, and Schnuckiputzi, thank you sooooo much for your call, it was so incredibly sweat to hear your voice again!
I love you so much! I love you more than you love me! And I do not want to talk about the parcel and this dumb Mrs Ramang all the time, my love! How does your work make out, are you making good progress? What exactly is it that you are doing, out there on the wide open ocean? Can you dive? And how long can you stay under water? When will you be ready with your job and come to see me here? Oh Schnuckiputzi, I would so much love to spend the Christmas days with you, under the Christmas tree, wolfing down juicy Mett-Igels and singing Christmas carols! In Germany, we drink boiling hot Jägermeister with whipped cream at Christmas Eve, do you like Jägermeister? Oh Schnuckiputzi, that tastes ever so good! Oh Schnuckiputz, how I long to be with you!
I love and kiss and miss you!
Your Dumpfbäckchen Louisa

Quote:

[blah blah blah]
So just click on the website:

www.kangarowordwideexpress.com <-------fake, reported

Thank you for using: Kangaroo Worldwide Express Delivery Company for the delivery of your packages and business needs.

Yours faithfully,
Mrs. Rayang Ramang
Southeast Asia Regional Co-ordinator,
KANGAROO Worldwide Express Delivery COMPANY MALAYISA BRANCH,
Tel: +60169928581
For more inquiries or suggestions, please visit our website at www.kangarowordwideexpress.com or write to us back to [email protected]

Mrs Ramang,
may I please ask you why you just keep on blathering into my mailbox, although you know that I do not understand what you say? And I don't like your nagging voice, so please stop doing that. I have seen that my tracking code works fine again, that is a good thing. But I am still waiting for the invoice, and my tax consultant has let me know that I will also need a clearance certificate to prove that certain items in the parcel do not descend from any illegal activities. If I do not have that, the parcel will be put on hold at customs at the airport here in Germany, and it will not be delivered to me. So please, when will you send the documents eventually?
Furthermore, I have received an email from Western Union after I was there to pay the fee. The money is paid, but which security method would you like best now? I think the passport copy would be the easiest way to do it, what do you think?
Kind regards
Louisa

Elite Baiter Joined: 28 Mar 2015 Posts: 1916

I think you should start calling her 'Mrs Rampong'...no particular reason, just smells better. Lol

"..impotent document"..bwahaha

MG, you so make me laugh!

Laughing

Posted: Sun Dec 13, 2015 5:39 pm

I am getting sick and tired of his painfully mis-translated letters, so I thought I might show him how much I care, and how "impotent" clear communication is, as I do have the impression the we are talking past each other most of the time.
"Rampong" smells nice....and I took it even a little further.
The lady remained silent today. Maybe she took a day off?

Quote:

Good morning my sweet beautiful angel, how was your night's rest and how is my darling do today I'm sure you will enjoy the beautiful Sunday all well and good, right!

My love after reading your mail to me here I called the company on the phone to know instantly what they write to you that you are not well understood, and good, but she said to me that I tell you, try your best possible make the payment on Monday in order to this matter with the Malaysian Custom Authority, so that my package back to them released after this is done they will be deliver it immediately for you to solve!

Finally, they said, should use this account data information at here for the direction of payment via their account officer subsidiary bank account below: <snipped, nothing new>

Please my dear try this problem resovle in my name tomorrow, so I have until then my life be back confidential document to your custody until I come for you my peace, because I am sure, will save you my love please my darling you save the package for me!

Good morning my beloved Schnuckiputzi,

I am happy to announce that communication will be much easier in the future. Your efforts to write to me in my language are highly appreciated, but to be honest: I do not think that I always understand what you say or that you always understand what I say. So I thought what I could do about that problem, and I had a fantastic idea! Schnuckiputzi, I have hired a man from INLINGUA. He will come to our office every day at 11.00 am my time, and he will go through your email with me, and he will translate my answers. He will be with me for one hour, and he only charges 75 € per day!
Schnuckiputzi, you can write to me in your language now, in English, is that not wonderful?
Frankly, Schnuckiputzi, I do not understand this Mrs Rampong anymore! I have already paid the money at the Western Union office, but due to some security issue the payment is on hold, and I am still waiting for the documents I need so urgently! I have asked her so many times now to send it, and she just does NOT do it! It is all up to Mrs Rampong now, she can either send a passport copy or chose one of the other security options, and she should know because she has received an email from Western Union. Why is this ignorant woman slowing our parcel delivery down? Is she jealous, or does she want to keep it for herself? Maybe she knows about the money inside, and she wants to steal from me and she is only making up stories to keep the parcel! I don't trust her at all, she is acting very weird! Schnuckiputzi, is there maybe somebody else in this company who could talk to me instead of this Mrs Tampong?
I honestly do not like her at all!
I love and kiss you, love and kiss you, love and kiss you!!
Your Dumpfbäckchen Louisa

Posted: Sun Dec 13, 2015 7:43 pm

Schnuckiputzi is very happy that his Baby is now able to communicate orderly with him. He has replied.....and of course there is only one thing he desires: the SLIP. May he have it. The MTCN is of course blurred.....because the transaction is secured.
Just by the way, that is a real Western Union receipt form. That's how they look these days, in the computer age Cool

Quote:

Alright my love i will call the company on phone again to know what is delaying the clearance certificate not to send across to you over there since okay!

Again my sweet love please forward to me here a scan copy of that payment deposit slip which you made through western union office, so that i can a look it very well!

Honey please send the deposit slip for me to see alright.

Without her INLINGUA help, Louisa's English is not too good:

Godd evening my Schnuckiputzi,

Mr Detlef from INLINGUA only back comes in the foremorning of tomorrow at 11.00 o'clock, but I understand it urgent is and I online tranlator used have. I understood have that you want to have my slip. I have my slip attached.
I love you, I love you, I love you!
Your little sweet Dumpfbäckchen Louisa

Posted: Mon Dec 14, 2015 6:30 pm

Quote:

Honey my sweet love, please i can't see any letter in the deposit receipt slip you sent on my email because the picture and letter in it is too small to view the information on the Western Union receipt?

Please resend the receipt for me here again but in a big from so that i will see all the details on it clear and well okay my love?

Lastly again there's No MTCN on it why?
Because i can't see any numbers as the MTCN?

I LOVE YOU MORE MORE PLEASE ALWAYS REMEMBER THAT OKAY.

Quote:

Again my sweet lovely wife i will tell the company to start from now communicating with you in both Language, I mean German and English too i hope that will be okay to enable you understand what the company is saying anytime they write to you alright!

Kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss

Hello Schnuckiputzi,

I am so sorry that I could not return your many sweet and juicy kisses, but I was on the bus on my way home from work, and there were so many people around me, and they were all listening, and now I am sitting here with Detlef, typing my message to you. Schnuckiputzi, what do you mean when you say there are not any letters in the receipt I have sent to you? Of course there are, I have just let Detlef have a look at the file, and every single word is perfectly visible. I have attached the receipt again for you, maybe there is something wrong with your computer?
Schnuckiputzi, there is not MTCN number on it because the payment is on hold, it will have to be secured, but Mrs Rampage should know that because she must have received an email from Western Union, I have received it too, but it was in English, so I didn't understand. Detlef has translated me everything, and now I understand. I will forward this mail to you, so that you can see for yourself. I do not quite understand why Mrs Rampage does not get back to me to make her choice?
Schnuckiputzi, because Detlev had to translate that Western Union mail for me, too, and because I had to have him come to my place in the evening today, he charges me overtime surcharges, so today I will have to pay him 100 € for his services. And please, my lovely Baby, I do not want to talk about this money, the parcel and Mrs Rampage all the time! and you have still not told me what kind of document you have put in there?! What is it that is so important for your life? Do you still want to kill yourself? And why do you not answer my questions about your work? I still do not know what exactly you are doing out there on the wide ocean, and can you dive, and is there sharkfish around?
When will you be coming back to Europe, and do you like hot Jägermeister with whipped cream?
I love you, I love you, I love you, and I kiss kiss kiss you!!
Your Dumpfbäckchen Louisa

Quote:

Honey my sweet lovely wife i'm happy to hear your lovely sweet voice on phone again today and how are you doing over there for me and am sure everything is going for you out there right?

Please my love the company said i should let you know if the Western Union refuse to send to them in Malaysia that you should go and get your money back from them and re-send it to them through Moneygram OR send it to them through their bank account because the payment which made has not arrived to Malaysia so that is the reason of delay in releasing my parcel!

Please my one and only sweet wife try your possible best to make they send the money to Malaysia or pay through moneygram even with their bank account through bank alright!

Please my heart have not rest since that day till now!
Good night with lovely sweet dream of me right beside you in bed tonight okay!
I love you more more....

ETA: The delivery company

Quote:

Von: "Kangaroo World Wide Express" <[email protected]>

Betreff: KANGAROO WORLDWIDE EXPRESS DELIVERY COMPANY

With reference to the Company's,
Madam we acknowledge your request but the clearance certificate you are asking for will be giving to us by the Malaysian Custom Authority after which we have received the confirmation and evidence of your payment here then it will enable us to settle with the Custom,

when that is done both your parcel with the clearance certificate will be in our custody and we shall send it for you or we will come with it during delivery of the package to you over there but now because your package is still on hold by Malaysian Custom which means you have to send the money across to us here first before any other thing will be done on your behalf here!

Lastly note Madam if the Western Union in your country refused to forward your payment across to Malaysia here then go and collect back your money from them and re-send it through another means such as Moneygram OR through our bank account which we have already given you the details of the account officer name!

We hope we have made our self clear to you by this notice as directed by the management also sincerely we apologize for any inconveniences this may have caused you as our highly esteemed customer.

Thank you for using : KANGAROO WORLDWIDE EXPRESS DELIVERY COMPANY for the delivery of your packages and business needs.

Yours Faithfully,
Mrs. Rayang Ramang
South East Asia Regional Co-coordinator,
KANGAROO WORLDWIDE EXPRESS DELIVERY COMPANY MALAYISA, BRANCH
Tel : +60169928581

For More Inquiries and Suggestions Please Visit Our Website at www.kangarowordwideexpress.com OR write back to us at [email protected]

Good evening Mrs Rampage,

many thanks for your prompt reply, and also many thanks for NOT calling me again at 6.00 am my time, I really appreciate that. Mrs Rampage, I have a few questions. Why am I still waiting for the formal invoice showing the malaysia VAT for this fee? How many times have I asked you so end it? How many times? So why am I still waiting? My tax consultant needs it urgently, because I am eligible to claim the VAT back.
Secondly I would like to unclearificate a misunderstanding. I do NOT need a clearance certificate form Malaysia customs. What I need is a certificate that proves that a certain special specific item in the parcel does NOT descend from any illegal activities or businesses. I had to promise my husband strict confidentiality about this, but I take it that just between us girls I can tell you the truth: my husband has put 6 pairs of shoes and Victoria's Secrets underwear into the parcel. I do need positive confirmation that these items are not in any way related to sex trafficking or prostitution, and I need this B E F O R E I will be able to receive the shipment at all. It must be either handwritten by my husband, or in case he should have typed it, it must be certificated by a notary pubic. Mrs Rampage, I will definitely need these documents before I will be able to release the payment.
Have you decided which security method you will want to use, as suggested by the Western Union?
Thank you for a quick response, my husband is getting nervous, and he has already mentioned that he is considering to kill himself because of all the trouble and delays you are causing!

Sincerely
Louisa v.d. Vogelweide

Posted: Tue Dec 15, 2015 5:59 pm

Mrs Rampage did not answer....no phone calls and no text messages, and Schnuckiputzi is trying to build up more pressure.

Quote:

Alright my sweet love apology accepted from your husband, So how was your night rest like and how are you today!
My love really i'm surprise on what the company told me about you when when i called them on phone?
So your information they said that you're the reason why my package is still with the Malaysian custom Authority till now because you refuse to other the western union in your country to release the money to them in Malaysia.
My sweet love is that true?
Do you really want to help me resolve this on my behalf there ....... if yes you want to help me recover my life Confidential Document inside that parcel there then please please please please go back to western union office where you deposited the money and tell them to forward your payment to Malaysia with the MTCN number on the payment receipt?
Honey it's your money and what ever you ask the western union to do they will do just for you because you have the right to send out money to any country or to anyone?
Please again and again tell the western union there to release the money to Malaysia so that the company will make use of it to settle with custom charges after that my package will released back to company and they deliver it for you over there as soon as they resolve this matter with your payment first?
Please my love you're last hope so why are you doing this to me please give an other to them there so that they will send your payment across to MALAYSIA that is all i ask from you my one and only sweet love?
I love you more more each day because i can't stop loving you no matter?
Good morning with some kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss from me okay...

Hello my Schnuckiputzi,

Mr Detlef was here this morning at 11.00 am, so he translated my letter to you, and I can type it in now. Schnuckiputz, you are my sweet love, too, I love you much, just much more than you will ever love me! I am shocked to hear what you are telling me about what the company has told you about me! They say that I am the reason that your parcel is still in Malaysian customs? That is NOT TRUE and I can prove it! I am very angry now, very very angry! Schnuckiputzi, I did NOT refuse to make Western Union release the payment, I was there and I have paid the money, and the present status is a legal security issue, that is everything. It is up to Mrs Rampong and her office to decide which security option shall be applied to release the payment, and she has not said anything about that, and is that her fault now or mine? It is not my fault that Western Union has put additional security on payments to certain countries, and it is not my fault that Malaysia is one of them! So SHE is the ONLY one responsible for the delay! I am very disappointed because I have the feeling that you are trying to put a blame on me which I just do not derserve, and that is so unfair!
Schnuckiputzi, and I am still waiting for the documents I will need to be able to receive the parcel at all. I have asked her at least FIVE times to send it, FIVE TIMES, and she just does NOT send it! Schnuckiputzi, this woman is totally incompetent and lazy, and I am really very very angry! Why do you ask me whether I will really want to help you resolve the matter? Of course, my love, of course I will want to help you resolve the matter, but why have you not told me what kind of life confidential document you have put in there? I have asked you several times now, but you never gave me an answer, so what exactly is it, and why did you put in there at all? What am I supposed to do with it? I really don't know what to do now, and I beg you to do all in your power to make this lazy and stupid Rampong woman do her job! If she is not able to do it herself, maybe there is somebody else working in that office who has a brain that allows to put at least 2 and 2 together, decide about the security payment option and send the documents I need so urgently? The payment will be on hold until tomorrow, then the money will be transfered back into my bank account. And if I go back there again, it will be the same story, and I would not even be able to do it this week, because I am working and I do not have enough time. I love you much, my Schnuckiputzi!
Kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss
Yours until the end of time, Louisa

Ouch! Just when I went to check my Tagged account for new messages a few minutes ago, I became aware that it had been shut down. Crying or Very sad

Life can be a bitch sometimes. I will have to create a new Tagged character, so Louisa will be history now

Posted: Thu Dec 17, 2015 7:28 pm

There she goes again. Mrs. Rampage seems to be getting angry. They have sent another fake document, but this is not an invoice. There's a flower in the parcel, too. I think it might have died in the meantime. I might hold her responsible.

Quote:

With reference to the Company's,
Madam, we want to inform you that we are really discouraging by the way you are handling this issue of your package which is currently on hold with Malaysia Custom Authority and after all our efforts of calling and writing you to let you know about the present status of your package as regards to the payment and its delivery.
Our Company Officer in-charge of Western Union and Moneygram relations has been very much aggrieved and crestfallen since she found out your are the causes of the delay of the payment not to get here in Malaysia because of your unserious over the matter for them to release the payment to us!
Note : Madam please always take your time in reading our email carefully to enable you know what we are talking about your package because the last email the company sent to you, There we never told you that the package is in our custody but still with the Malaysian Custom Authority on hold since.
So Madam here is a copy of the receipt which we gave your husband the day he came with the package for dispatch to you over there and that is the prove we have to offer you also all the items in that parcel was confirmed to be good before we take off for dispatch.
Lastly ask the western union to release 850 Euros to enable us pay Customs Duty for immediate clearance release of your package. but if the western union refuse to send the to us then collect your money back from them and resend it to us through our bank account?

Thank you for using : KANGAROO WORLDWIDE EXPRESS DELIVERY COMPANY for the delivery of your packages and business needs.

Yours Faithfully,
Mrs. Rayang Ramang
South East Asia Regional Co-coordinator,
KANGAROO WORLDWIDE EXPRESS DELIVERY COMPANY MALAYISA, BRANCH
Tel : +60169928581

For More Inquiries and Suggestions Please Visit Our Website at www.kangarowordwideexpress.com OR write back to us at [email protected]

Good evening dearest Mrs Rayannoying Rampage,
thank you for the email and the attachment, but that is NOT what I have asked for and what I need so urgently. What you have sent is NOT an invoice, but a waybill, and that was not even issued in my name.
Mrs Rampage, please note that an invoice, bill or tab is a commercial document issued by a seller to a buyer, relating to a sale transaction and indicating the products or services, quantities, and agreed prices for products or services the seller had provided the buyer. Payment terms are usually stated on the invoice. These may specify that the buyer has a maximum number of days in which to pay, and is sometimes offered a discount if paid before the due date. The buyer could have already paid for the products or services listed on the invoice. In the rental industry, an invoice must include a specific reference to the duration of the time being billed, so in addition to quantity, price and discount the invoicing amount is also based on duration. Generally each line of a rental invoice will refer to the actual hours, days, weeks, months, etc, being billed.I don't care about your discouragment. All I care about is the 4 packs of chocolate which are most likely going bad while still being on ice and the flower dying inside the dark parcel, without any supply of light or water. Mrs Rampage, you do know that plants have a soul and that one can talk to them, don't you? Well, just in case you had not known, may I enlighten your darkness? Plants are just like people. In research which spans more than 100 years, scientists have been documenting botanical adaptability and the amazing similarities that plants have with animals and people. Studies indicate that what metaphysicians, psychics, shaman, tribal people and sensitives worldwide have been saying about the plant kingdom for millennia is true: plants are intelligent beings who can communicate with us, and, we can communicate with them.
So, Mrs Rampage, if you do not do all in your power to send me the needed documents ASAP (both invoice and clearance certificate for the shoes and the underwear), I guess you will have a pretty shitty karma because you will be responsible for the death of something that is just like a human being. Can you follow me? Or do you need any further explanations?
And Mrs Rampage, do you really want me to comment on your remark about the grieve and crestfall of your Moneygram and Western Union payment manager? Mrs Rampage, may I please beg your pardon, but was it not YOU who did NOT reply to the Western Union payment security option email message? The fee could have been with your Kangaroo Company for more than a week now, but YOU chose NOT to reply, so why do you think you are in the position to accuse me now?
Mrs Rampage, in my last massage I have kindly asked you whether there is ANYONE else in your office who has a brain at all and knows how to use it. You have not answered this crucially important question yet.
Yours contemptly
Mrs Louisa v.d. Vogelweide

Schnuckiputzi's emails from the last 2 days......(and there have been 3 or 4 incoming "muah muah muah" phone calls, too Cool

)

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Oh my god honey my sweet lovely wife i'm so sorry to make you feel sad because of what i said to you which the company told me ......please my one and only love in my life forgive me and i don't be angry for anything again okay!
But just that i'm really confused now about everything that is going on in this matter of my package there till date and you should know that i have not concentrated on the contract work i came here to do since the new of my parcel been on hold by Malaysian Customs Authority.
My sweet love i know and i'm sure you really want to help me resolve this matter so that i will have my peace of mind back again and focus on the work well. So i ask you please do this for me, if the western union transfer the money back into your bank account like you said to me here.......Please use that same money to pay in the company account not through western union or moneygram anymore alright! Please all i want is for you to make sure the payment will forwarded to company account in Malaysia so that they use the money to settle with Customs Authority and retrieve my package back when that is done it will be deliver to you over there at once then this matter will be over for us and we both will have to enjoy our lovely relationship from here before i come to with you my wife!

Please here is the company bank account details below :
Bank Name : C I M B BANK
Account Numbers : 7031723***
Account Name : NURHAFIZAH MULE
Swift Code : CIBBMYKL
Bank address : 32,Khoo Yun Heang Street,93000 Kuching,Sarawak.

My sweet love i know and i'm sure you really want to help me resolve this matter so that i will have my peace of mind back again and focus on the work well. So i ask you please do this for me, if the western union transfer the money back into your bank account like you said to me here.......Please use that same money to pay in the company account not through western union or moneygram anymore alright!
Please all i want is for you to make sure the payment will forwarded to company account in Malaysia so that they use the money to settle with Customs Authority and retrieve my package back when that is done it will be deliver to you over there at once then this matter will be over for us and we both will have to enjoy our lovely relationship from here before i come to with you my wife!

Please here is the company bank account details below :

Bank Name : C I M B BANK
Account Numbers : 7031723***
Account Name : NURHAFIZAH MULE
Swift Code : CIBBMYKL
Bank address : 32,Khoo Yun Heang Street,93000 Kuching,Sarawak.
City : Kuala Lumpur
Country : Malaysia.

Lastly i have told you about my life Confidential Document inside that package in there also the reason why i called it my life Confidential Document but you still ask me about it again and again really i don't understand you dose it mean that you have forgotten so soonest what i said about the Confidential Document to you here.

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My sweet love wife i called you on phone today many times but you didn't answer me maybe you're very busy with work when i called and the reason why i called is because i was thinking so much about our love at midnight i said let me call to you hear your lovely voice again on phone at the same time give you a kiss kiss kiss kiss? My one and only sweet wife always remember that i love more more because you're now a part of my life and i will love forever alright!

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My sweet lovely wife what happened i have not had from you here are you angry with me or what?
My love is everything alright with you over there.... i mean are you in good health please answer me here because i'm much really worried about your silent over me here, so honey answer to enable me be sure that my wife is okay for you out there alright?

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Hello my sweet lovely wife how are you and how is your work going i can't see you don't have my time anymore that is why you refuse to answer me back since yesterday?

Good evening Schnuckiputzi,
I don't know what you are talking about, why would you think that I am avoiding you? I am paying at least a 100 $ per day to this Inlingua Detlef, just in order to be able to commute with you appropriately at all, while at the same time I will have to state that the effort on the side of your business partner is way below ZERO. I had to call Detlef in again to be able to respond to your last message, and as it as already past 22.00 pm my time, he has charged me 25 % late night surcharge. What makes you think that I refuse to answer you? I took your phone call, although I couldn't understand. I do hope you don't want me to have Detlef around with me from dusk till dawn? He might be willing to do do all the talking, but if I would want him around 24/7, that would be kind of expensive. Plus he mentioned that online vocal availibility would be another surcharge of 75 %. I would do it if you want me to. Do you want me to do this? And now, how long can you stay under water?
I love you!
Kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss
Your Dumpfbäckchen Louisa

Posted: Thu Dec 17, 2015 10:27 pm

Mark just doesn't seem to get it. Silence from here for the next 3 days. My neighbour has parked his Porsche Cayenne on MY Wifi cable, so no email will get through.

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My sweet lovely wife i will be through from this contract work here second week of February 2016 after that i will be right beside you over there in person alright? Honey what about your money on hold with western union has it been turned into your bank account now? Please send the money to company bank account to enable the Malaysian Customs release my package?

Mark from Manchester....Love springs eternal!	View next topic View previous topic