Gratifying rant

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Posted: Wed May 13, 2015 12:28 am

This is a random ASEM lad who sent me a piggy, but would not stoop to track a package sent by our most [un]reliable courier system. My character took a trip to Mexico with his wife for a few days, and while he was gone, the lad's money was chopped by my fake lad character, whose name matches one of our USA founding fathers. (That tidbit makes the lad's rant even funnier.)

$16K gone to another lad.
Sad.
All because this lad was too lazy to track his package.

The desperate emails started at 1am this morning, after the lad received an email congratulating him on picking up his package at the appropriate NY location (an address he gave me but told me NOT to send anything to.)

I then sent a few emails back and forth between my character & my fake lad (who I am calling "Paul Revere"), back-dated them, and had fake lad accuse real lad of screwing his own sister out of money, and forwarded it all to real lad with an angry accusation of fraud. The mis-reading of that letter caused a fabulous rant to take place. I'm posting it here for your enjoyment!

Quote:

Dear Sir K. L,

I was really surprised with your huge insult!! I don't expect such nasty words from you and i can't imagine such words. Does the account looks like a woman account?? Who is the "Paul Revere" telling you am wanted and they searching me in new york,....Sir L I can not believe if some one can convince and cheat you in this final stage but sorry is your name because you dealing with armed rubbers, am just laughing at you because you are doing a great mistakes for your self. Why do you insulted me that i screwed my sister?? I need to sue you to court if so. I wanted to get you my own private lawyer that will stand on behalf of your wife for the state case.

...Now, i will not bother my self any more and you will later contact me back to complete your fund transfer and this people will still move you to another level of bills and required you to pay them another money which goes nothing.. They are just making a force information against me and you dare believe them. I work with many companies and i have only my secretary whom i sent to Canada to represent me in a business deal this is why i could not be able to pick the check and if am scammer i will go there straightly and pick the check my self but i want to let you know am real. but am sorry for your contact with them and you will never get your money from them because i have all the details.

After that you will still contact me back and i will not judge any one it is left for God to judge who is who if you dont regard my word. Am a man of God but you people just make an accusation against me, if you will only give me your address then i will visit you in person by my self. I will let you know that Paul Revere is not an American name and they are African name.. You will know what you did to your self after that, and how come did Paul Revere get involved on this deal?? this is what you need to ask your self but am not convincing you.

As a matured man you are, try to use your tongue and count your teeth. This is where i stop.
I will live to UK in some weeks coming.

Thanks for your understanding.

Yours in Service,

Mr. P. K.
Secretary-General
Debt Management Office (DMO)

Hmmm... maybe the lad is mad enough to safari? Laughing

Baiting Guru Joined: 19 Sep 2013 Posts: 2210

Another satisfied customer! Very Happy

Posted: Wed May 13, 2015 1:25 am

Poetry!

Posted: Wed May 13, 2015 1:26 am

Posted: Wed May 13, 2015 1:37 am

One if by lad, two if by...OMG, somebody needs to ring the church bells and warn the British! "Paul Revere is coming. Paul Revere is coming..."

Posted: Wed May 13, 2015 1:38 am

Always nice to see a "happy" lad. Very Happy

Posted: Wed May 13, 2015 1:41 am

Quote:

armed rubbers

That always gets a laugh.

Not quite a Newb Joined: 14 Jul 2005 Posts: 41

Quote:

dealing with armed rubbers

Better than thuggish condiments, I suppose.

Posted: Wed May 13, 2015 3:50 am

Angry Lad wrote:

try to use your tongue and count your teeth.

One
Two
Three

counting Lad wrote:

This is where i stop.

Ahhh, such a way with words...

Great baiting to receive such a rant!

Posted: Wed May 13, 2015 4:24 am

You mean "one-tooth Ree", right? (Mathematical Games some decades ago Very Happy

) Unless you have all of them, you can count them on one hand.

Do armed rubbers shoot robber band pistols?

Posted: Wed May 13, 2015 5:54 am

Nothing better than a good lad rant.... Thumbs up

Elite Baiter Joined: 19 Apr 2008 Posts: 1301

Yes, pure poetry. Must have hurt him real bad to produce such a rant.

Posted: Wed May 13, 2015 3:24 pm

So this morning I check my email, and he's sent two fantastic attempts to convince me that my fake lad character is actually a scammer! Shocked

I'm posting his second attempt below. It seems he sent me a draft, then the final copy.

Keeping in mind he first created an email account that matches the name of my ASEM'd response asking for "Mr. K", and then adjusted his email when I added a first name to Mr. K... he has now created a second email account in the name of my fake lad to convince me that Mr. K is actually legit.

I love how much this lad is working for it!! And the fact that he is putting some staged laughter into the email is icing on the cake: seriously, the note came in with (laughs) as stated below. I just wish he'd end the note with, "...and I'd have gotten away with it if it wasn't for you meddling kids!!"

Enjoy!

Quote:

KL,

Hahaha!! (Laughs) please let me introduce my self briefly to you because you are a stupid man, you where convinced by me. Am Paul Revere and am from Nigeria Africa, I dont know Mr PK but neither he is the real man of your business. He has every details about your business but i just tried to accused him by saying he screwed her sister and was wanted in the New York but it is a lie hahaha!!! you must be foolish. I just make false information on his head but he is innocent ahahaha (Laughs). I only tried to get this money from you and am happy i have the check. I hijacked/hacked your email password and keep monitoring your communication between you and Mr PK.
K is one of the best trusting man in the USA so i wondered why you where convinced by me hahaha....

Mr. PK has now arrested one of my colleague scammer and i believe he will automatically exposed me so therefore i will travel back to Nigeria as am wanted by FBI. Am now a peril scammer in this excercise. Mr K was the real business and company dealer man who was dealing your business for so many long time.hahahahaha you are very stupid as you where convinced by me, Mr K was the rightful person and not me.
It is true we spoke on phone but i am not the real and rightful person hahahahaha, don't pick or call my number again, dont email me again. am a scammer and am confessing here I called you with a magic African number in form of USA number.

I kept monitoring your email all the time, so i got all the details between you and Mr K before i make a false information on him. now am wanted please stop communicating with me. You will not get any money from me because am a scammer so you better contact the K as the real business and company man. he is innocent but i make false information in order to get the check, now i spoil the deal. Am now wanted as scammer, scammer is my business hahahah (Laughs) i will convert the $16,000 to nigerian Naira and i will buy car and build houses hahahaha... Devil really work for me, now am wanted by FBI. dont ever email me again am not the dealer of your money and i dont have your bank account okay..foolish man, idiot, stupid as you where convinced by me. dont call me, dont email me again am traveling to Africa in the morning otherwise i will be arrested. hahahahahah am a real scammmmmmmerrrr!!! am travelling back to my country.

Paul Revere
A scammer

I think Mr. KL needs to make a trip immediately to Nigeria to locate Paul Revere to get his money back. He just might travel there with his millions of dollars and will pay someone handsomely to help him locate the scammer... Twisted Evil

ETA oooooo! The FBI is now involved!!

Quote:

Greetings,

WE ARE THE FEDERAL BUREAU INVESTIGATION USA. (FBI).

BE AWARE BY THE SUSPICIOUS ACT OF THE FRAUD/CRIMINAL LAW OF THE USA BY A NON-TRANSACTION ACT METHOD MAIL LISTED AS "PAUL REVERE".
CURRENTLY INVESTIGATIONS WAS SERIOUSLY PENETRATING IN DIFFERENT LOCATIONS OF THE STATES AS A WANTED MAN. NOTE: A NIGERIAN MAN CALLED PAUL REVERE IS NOW WANTED BY FBI, ANY AWFUL SUSPICIOUS AGAINST ANY ILLEGAL HUMAN SHOULD IMMEDIATELY CALL THE FORCE EMERGENCY NUMBER OR MAKE A REPORT TO THE NEAREST OFFICE STATION.
WE HUMBLED TO FISH THIS CRIMINAL ACT OUT BECAUSE WE TRACKED AND INVESTIGATED THEM WITH THIS SECURITY TRACKING CODES BELOW: AU1-193740411KZH WITH A SIGNAL CODE NUMBER: I640850X: LOCATION OF TRACKED NEW YORK. OUR TRACKING SIGNAL COUNTED A GOOD DATA INVESTIGATION. THIS MESSAGE WAS SENT TO ALL UNITED STATES CITIZEN'S AND WAS REPORTED BY MR. PK. THANKS AND BE PROUD OF USA.

Thanks,
JAMES B. COMEY.
DIRECTOR & FBI Officer USA.

Master of Master Baiters Joined: 13 Jan 2014 Posts: 698

Brilliant. I just can't get over the lad's sense of initiative and enterprise. Such a pity he's so stupid!! Laughing

(that means hahahahaha[laughter])

Posted: Wed May 13, 2015 4:26 pm

Quote:

THIS MESSAGE WAS SENT TO ALL UNITED STATES CITIZEN'S

What? How come I didn't get that message?

You have a choice lad there, Kitty! Laughing

Not quite a Newb Joined: 14 Jul 2005 Posts: 41

Quote:

What? How come I didn't get that message?

Over active spam filters.

Posted: Wed May 13, 2015 6:00 pm

Quote:

CURRENTLY INVESTIGATIONS WAS SERIOUSLY PENETRATING IN DIFFERENT LOCATIONS

Those naughty FBI persons!

Posted: Wed May 13, 2015 8:12 pm

[quote="Thursten3rd"]

Quote:

CURRENTLY INVESTIGATIONS WAS SERIOUSLY PENETRATING IN DIFFERENT LOCATIONS

I knew a girl like that once!

Posted: Wed May 13, 2015 8:32 pm

Rubbers, armed for her pleasure.

Posted: Wed May 13, 2015 8:38 pm

Good stuff Kitty! Laughing

Posted: Wed May 13, 2015 10:29 pm

Classic rant-congratulations!

Posted: Thu May 14, 2015 12:31 am

Well done! I love it when they squeal like the pigs they are.

beers!

Posted: Thu May 14, 2015 1:59 am

This lad definitely shows some long term potential. His email "confessing" that "Paul Revere" is a scammer is hilarious.

Posted: Wed May 27, 2015 11:20 am

Wow... so many signature worthy lines in those last two emails. This is going to be a fun one! Very Happy

Posted: Wed May 27, 2015 2:28 pm

Quick update:

- My character was so distraught about being scammed, he immediately flew to Nigeria to get his money back, leaving the lad in the good hands of victim's churlish wife

- Lad has been working with Mrs. Victim to find out what's happening. There have been several lovely rants since then as Mrs. Victim does NOT tolerate any rude language or directives, and she does not want to share her husband's contact information while he's overseas

- Lad sent a revised email back to Mrs. Victim about a package delivery from our favorite courier service, further instructing her to send money to WU

- Mrs. Victim just sent a rant yesterday about how God made man the head of marriage and she would not tolerate Lad's putting down her husband or asking for contact info

- Lad is now begging the husband's email address for an update as he was informed the authorities are "pretty sure" the perp is still operating in Lagos

I've found several other email addresses for this lad through Google searches - he's been reported on SW and other places before - and I may just have to start sending some ASEMs to those addresses as well. I love how dedicated this lad is, and how he's utterly bought in to the scenario! Twisted Evil