The Exorcist Lad

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Posted: Tue Mar 24, 2015 12:58 am

Rev. Dennis is a humble man with responsibilities. Not only is he a man of God, but also works full time in the Dept. International Remittance at the
Swift Card Payment Center. As the ATM CARD PROCESSING OFFICER, many accounts fall under his supervision. Today sitting on his desk is the account belonging to one, Mr. Wilber Hardcox who has been approved for ATM Visa card worth $5 million USD. Naturally, Rev. Dennis doesn't want this account to be closed, so an urgent email is sent to out Mr. Hardcox.

Posted: Tue Mar 24, 2015 1:06 am

Mr Wilber can't believe his eyes. As he sits staring at the computer screen, Hardcox is reading the best news he's received since word that his late wife had died.

He's been approved for an ATM card worth $5 million dollars and all he has to do is pay a one time fee of $350.

Wilber shoots off a quick reply via email and heads strait to the nearest Western Union office.

Posted: Tue Mar 24, 2015 1:44 am

Well, things did not go well for Wilber. After driving out to Western Union, and waiting outside while the teller spoke on the phone to to Rev. Dennis. Mr. Hardcox goes inside only to be handed his money back. Apparently there was some sort of problem.

Wilber Hardcox drives home disappointed. He will have to jump through more hoops to get his frigging ATM card, but for $5,000,000 is worth dealing with bureaucratic @$$holes one more time. He will have to go to bed and dream about getting his money tomorrow.
Thank you Festus.

Meanwhile, Rev. Dennis has to shake his head disbelieving what just happened. He receives a call at home, about 1:00am. This is not normal working hours, he is at home, but he's willing to go the extra mile to help his costumer. After being asked standard security questions, the teller at Western Union office accuses the good reverend of being a scammer. He has the audacity to suggest that he ask his customer for more money. Instead of the standard fee of $350, he was told to ask for $5,000 and split the money with the Western Union employee. Being a man of God, Rev. Dennis was not willing to play along. As long as he gets the $350 needed by Swift Card Payment Center his duty will be done.

Posted: Tue Mar 24, 2015 1:57 am

Rev. Dennis is in bed when the phone rings. It's Wilber at the Western Union office. Finally things will go as planed. Although his customer Wilber Hardcox, is in the habit of calling him at home during late hours, Rev. Dennis will be happy to have this account closed. Another satisfied customer.

However things did not go as planned yet again:

"I feel like crying!" chop
https://soundcloud.com/lewissiffer/vxls-chop-i-feel-like-crying

thank you, Vonxlu

Posted: Tue Mar 24, 2015 2:06 am

Rev Dennis sends his customer this email the following day:

Quote:

Today is the first time since my life that i am receiving such an insult, i am a man of God for Christ sake, how could they call me a scammer? things that i preach in the Alter of God every Sunday service, i didn't force myself into this office, i was appointed to handle this department by the federal government base on the trust, loyalty and hard working they find in me.

Well who am i not to be call names or receive insult from the world, i don't think there's any insult or embarrassment that i or any other human creature can receive that will be bigger than the insult our LORD JESUS CHRIST received on earth, we pastors are made to receive criticim, they call it criticism but i called it temptation, but may the good lord continue to forgive us...Amen.

Mr Wilber, i have gone through my file and the ATM CARD that i sent you, i have found out the mistake, i am sorry about that, please forgive me, that particular ATM CARD is for someone else and not for you, HAHA i will send you a scan copy of your own ATM CARD in my next email when i get to the office tomorrow morning, but then you have to go another western union office or moneygram to make the $350 insurance fee, one thing i am promising you is that i will make sure you receive your ATM CARD so you can prove your doubters wrong, the fact is that the federal government has already paid for the delivery of your ATM CARD, the only thing needed to complete the delivery of your ATM CARD is this insurance fee, once you it's done,it's a matter of couple of days and you will get your rightful ATM CARD.
Please carefully read my message and get back to me soon.
May the power of God be your strength, i will like you to pick up your bible and read (psalm 91) every morning before going out and also read it before going to bed, believe me your enemies shall be putting to shame, take my words.
Thank you and God bless you.

Wilber sits down in front of his pc and types:

Quote:

My friend, Rev. Dennis,
I pray and consult with the Bible, My heart won't let me sleep. I remember the pain in your voice..."I feel like crying" rings in my ears, and then we pray and everything is better. IN THE MIGHTY NAME OF JESUS, BIND SATAN! AMEN!The Lord says he grants wisdom to those who ask. I learn that this Problem extends to Money Gram also. We must consider the news:

http://s1056.photobucket.com/user/samsmithman/media/av01_zps87e0f009.jpeg.html?filters[user]=142640147&filters[recent]=1&sort=1&o=7

Quote:

My friend, the answer is so simple, it is right under our face! Why must we trouble ourselves with middle men or third parties when doing money transactions? We are business men are we not? I have transferred funds hundreds of times with my company. it is easy. All we must do is a direct deposit from my bank into yours. Then our tears of pain will become tears of joy! Kindly provide me with needed details and we will begin our working relationship together. I am sorry for the injustice you suffer, but let us learn from it and move forward.
Yours,
Wilber
ps, don't forget to make an ATM card with my correct name on it.

http://s1056.photobucket.com/user/samsmithman/media/14271626362379_zpsqkxkedii.jpg.html

Posted: Tue Mar 24, 2015 2:11 am

Rev. Dennis writes:

Quote:

Thanks for your email, and your passion towards my feelings, the living God will bless you with more years ahead, i have read your email with the attach news you sent to me, i am surprise and kind of confuse with that, because i have been receiving money through western union and moneygram from the United State there almost everyday, as am talking to you now, i have two transaction right now, one from western union and the other from moneygram, so why is your own so different??? if the western union or moneygram are not allowing you to send the money, then you have to look for somebody who can help you send the money, everything am doing it for you because i have promise to make sure you receive your ATM CARD before Wednesday next week, there are other people who are currently here in Nigeria to pick up their ATM CARD, but i am focusing really on your own, because i want to prove those people who called me names wrong.
I have attach again a scan copy of your own ATM CARD, please check attach and confirm to me as soon as possible.

http://s1056.photobucket.com/user/samsmithman/media/wilbervisa_zpstf6lirhc.jpg.html

Posted: Tue Mar 24, 2015 2:31 am

The following day, things go more smoothly. His customer calls him late at night yet again, but Rev. Dennis doesn't mind. This time, the Western Union clerk does his job and Wilber says he will email the MTCN.

The next day at the office Rev. Dennis opens his email to read this:

Quote:

I HARK DA MUGU COMPUTA

DO MAKE DA MUGU WESTRN UNIN PAYMENT BUT MI DA HARK DA MUGU COMPUTA AN TAKE DA MONOI
F**** MUMU LIKE U! YOU ARE A STARK ILLITERATE, EDUCATED BY A HE-GOAT AND A ASHEWO STINKING TOTO. INSTEAD OF F**** YOUR OWN MOTHER AND BROTHERS MAD GOAT GO F**** YOUR SISTHER OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Then follows a full page of script our readers would be better off not viewing. Suffice it to say, it is not appropriate for mixed company or for persons of a sensitive nature.
Rev. Dennis bows his head and solemnly and prays.

Posted: Tue Mar 24, 2015 2:52 am

After emailing off the MCTN, Wilber found it odd that he hadn't heard back from Rev. Dennis with his $5,000,000 ATM card. He thought it would be a good idea to give the Reverend a call:

https://soundcloud.com/lewissiffer-1/rev-dinnis-interview-by-wilber

Posted: Tue Mar 24, 2015 2:57 am

At about 3:00am Nigerian time, Rev. Dennis as awakened by the ringing phone. He answers only to hear the voice of a strange lady...
The Exorcist Lad
https://soundcloud.com/lewissiffer/419demon

Posted: Tue Mar 24, 2015 3:05 am

Rev. Dennis's phone rings at work...

https://soundcloud.com/lewissiffer/rev-dennis-interview-01
Some other member of the church of TWAT is baiting this brother....can they please come forward?

Quote:

Dear Rev. Dennis,
I have had a busy day today! My church was packed and filled with people today we had many healing and the victory of God is ours! I have heard from sister Francisca, she is doing better and I am going to the hospital tomorrow and I will call call you. thank you my Brother in the Lord. Amen.
Yours in His service,
Rev. Prophet Christoper Richardson

Rev. Dennis writes back:

Quote:

Thanks for your email and notification, i beleive by the power in the name of Jesus, she is healed.. always pray for her as i am doing over here, i beleive together we shall conquered.

For further communication and details, please call or text me on my Mobile Number...

he likes giving his number out, heh

Posted: Tue Mar 24, 2015 3:07 am

The next day, Rev. Dennis gets a call from a hospital in the US...

https://soundcloud.com/upload

Thank you Mountain Goat