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jose_cuervo
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Joined: 01 Mar 2006
Posts: 7859
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PostPosted: Thu Feb 19, 2015 6:22 am Reply with quoteBack to top

Read the fine print and get on with it! Twisted Evil



The information contained in this thread is for general guidance on matters of entertainment only. The application and impact of replies can vary widely based on the specific facts involved. Given the changing nature of emotions, blood alcohol content, subsequent attention to detail, and the inherent hazards of electronic communication with a reckless moderator, there will definitely be delays, omissions and/or inaccuracies in information contained in jose's replies. Accordingly, the information in this thread is provided with the understanding that the authors and publishers are not herein engaged in rendering legal, accounting, tax, medical, psychological, marital, or other professional/unprofessional advice, services and/or responses. As such, jose's replies should not be used as a substitute for consultation with professional accounting, tax, legal, medical, psychological or any actual competent advisers. Before making any decision or taking any action, you should seriously reconsider your mental stability, and seek professional counseling.

While jose has made every attempt to ensure that the information contained in this thread has been considered from a perspective of pure inebriation, jose is not responsible for any errors or omissions, or for the results obtained from the use of this useless information. All information in this thread is provided "as is", with no guarantee of completeness, accuracy, timeliness or of the results obtained from the use of this information, and without warranty of any kind, express or implied, including, but not limited to warranties of performance, merchantability and fitness for a particular purpose. In no event will jose, his related partnerships or corporations, or the partners, agents or employees thereof be liable to you or anyone else for any decision made or action taken in reliance on the information provided by jose or for any consequential, inconsequential, special or similar damages, even if advised of the possibility of such damages.

jose makes no representations as to the accuracy or any other aspect of information contained herein, because he was, is, or will be, intoxicated beyond the legal limit, in Ireland (or Boston), during the Saint Patrick's Day Parade, while attempting to answer any of your ridiculous questions.
< B8er is my intern, and also quite inebriated, we're still covered under the disclaimer. Wink

_________________
Black Ribbon ~ star Safari Tattoo

“I guess a man is the only kind of varmint sets his own trap, baits it, and then steps in it.” ~ John Steinbeck

Last edited by jose_cuervo on Mon Mar 02, 2015 3:53 am; edited 2 times in total
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B8er
boomdazzler


Joined: 16 Feb 2009
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PostPosted: Thu Feb 19, 2015 6:44 am Reply with quoteBack to top

Why?

_________________
verry soon you obituary will be anoused. you dont know those guys are mafians and they are now after you . mumu. rest in peace
"I DENOUNCE THE MUFFIN MEN" - Ma Kim
"YOU ARE WALKING DEAD MAN. YOUR WOODEN COFFIN IS READY TO SWALLOW YOU AND YOUR DIRTY GENERATION"
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jose_cuervo
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Joined: 01 Mar 2006
Posts: 7859
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PostPosted: Thu Feb 19, 2015 6:48 am Reply with quoteBack to top

If you have to ask, then you probably didn't have a valid question. I suggest 24 ounces of palm wine, and call me in the morning.

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Black Ribbon ~ star Safari Tattoo

“I guess a man is the only kind of varmint sets his own trap, baits it, and then steps in it.” ~ John Steinbeck
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B8er
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PostPosted: Thu Feb 19, 2015 6:58 am Reply with quoteBack to top

^^^Ah, so it's serious questions only then

Would you rather have sex with a goat, and no one knows you did it or not have sex with a goat, but everyone thinks you did it?

_________________
verry soon you obituary will be anoused. you dont know those guys are mafians and they are now after you . mumu. rest in peace
"I DENOUNCE THE MUFFIN MEN" - Ma Kim
"YOU ARE WALKING DEAD MAN. YOUR WOODEN COFFIN IS READY TO SWALLOW YOU AND YOUR DIRTY GENERATION"
Safari x 5 Tattoo Golden Pig Easter 2015 Vcamera
United KingdomUnited StatesNigeriaMalaysiaNetherlandsThailandCanadaUnited Arab EmiratesUnited NationsAustraliaSenegalSpainBeninChinaDenmarkGhanaIvory CoastKorean FlagSouth AfricaSwedenBurkina FasoCambodia FlagcameroonGermanyHong KongIndonesiaJapanNew ZealandSwitzerlandTogoTurkeyUkraine x 335 Elite Ninja Team Member Whip
Cellphone x 4 Closed lad accounts x 1710 x 1904 - Fake cheques: $4,392,620.83
Safari Team Woody - Ghana to Singapore - 11535km
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jose_cuervo
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Joined: 01 Mar 2006
Posts: 7859
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PostPosted: Thu Feb 19, 2015 8:07 am Reply with quoteBack to top

That depends on whether it would be a male goat or a female goat. I (personally) have no preference, but specificity of the answer depends on the gender of the goat.

Next question.

_________________
Black Ribbon ~ star Safari Tattoo

“I guess a man is the only kind of varmint sets his own trap, baits it, and then steps in it.” ~ John Steinbeck
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KissOfDeath
One-Eyed Snake Charmer


Joined: 19 Aug 2013
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Location: Back in jose_cuervo's ... um, arms


PostPosted: Thu Feb 19, 2015 10:24 am Reply with quoteBack to top

Next Question --

Dear Jose:

I was recently told by a certain incredibly attractive and insanely sexy cowboy that he has goats and knows how to use them … ("That is all.")

Can you please tell me what he meant by that? [/tease]

_________________
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Last edited by KissOfDeath on Thu Feb 19, 2015 11:06 am; edited 6 times in total
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B8er
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PostPosted: Thu Feb 19, 2015 10:31 am Reply with quoteBack to top

^^^ That probably also depends on the gender of the goat.

_________________
verry soon you obituary will be anoused. you dont know those guys are mafians and they are now after you . mumu. rest in peace
"I DENOUNCE THE MUFFIN MEN" - Ma Kim
"YOU ARE WALKING DEAD MAN. YOUR WOODEN COFFIN IS READY TO SWALLOW YOU AND YOUR DIRTY GENERATION"
Safari x 5 Tattoo Golden Pig Easter 2015 Vcamera
United KingdomUnited StatesNigeriaMalaysiaNetherlandsThailandCanadaUnited Arab EmiratesUnited NationsAustraliaSenegalSpainBeninChinaDenmarkGhanaIvory CoastKorean FlagSouth AfricaSwedenBurkina FasoCambodia FlagcameroonGermanyHong KongIndonesiaJapanNew ZealandSwitzerlandTogoTurkeyUkraine x 335 Elite Ninja Team Member Whip
Cellphone x 4 Closed lad accounts x 1710 x 1904 - Fake cheques: $4,392,620.83
Safari Team Woody - Ghana to Singapore - 11535km
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Capone
** REMEMBERED **


Joined: 16 Feb 2013
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PostPosted: Thu Feb 19, 2015 11:07 am Reply with quoteBack to top

Wonderful disclaimer, BTW.

_________________
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x 116 Cambodia Flag Canada Nigeria United States Malaysia United Kingdom
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500 in 6-walked
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bware419ers
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Joined: 25 Jun 2012
Posts: 15242
Location: Away on vacation


PostPosted: Thu Feb 19, 2015 12:18 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Questions:

1. Have you stopped taking your meds?

2. Now that I have seen the pics, do you really think that will fit?

3. Which pair of shoes should I wear with this outfit?

_________________
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jose_cuervo
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Joined: 01 Mar 2006
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PostPosted: Thu Feb 19, 2015 12:20 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Yes, yes, it's very likely, red, if it feels good I tend to keep trying, and thank you... But not necessarily in that order.

Next question.

_________________
Black Ribbon ~ star Safari Tattoo

“I guess a man is the only kind of varmint sets his own trap, baits it, and then steps in it.” ~ John Steinbeck
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username1939
Something the mods dream up


Joined: 22 Apr 2014
Posts: 906


PostPosted: Thu Feb 19, 2015 1:04 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Question:

Will you pour me a drink please?

Oh and pass the popcorn please

_________________
Easter 2015

< --- my first
x5
Closed lad accounts < --- my first pink
Closed lad accounts x4
Go Gold

Never you insult me again. Never you write such to me. I am not begging you into this transfer, if you do not want to work with me call it a quit and never you write such to my mail box again.

Have a nice day. Mr. Richard Michel
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jose_cuervo
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Joined: 01 Mar 2006
Posts: 7859
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PostPosted: Thu Feb 19, 2015 1:17 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Certainly, as soon as is stops raining in Hanoi.

Pass the popcorn is a statement, not a question. Wrong thread.

Next question.

_________________
Black Ribbon ~ star Safari Tattoo

“I guess a man is the only kind of varmint sets his own trap, baits it, and then steps in it.” ~ John Steinbeck
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Tsnerd
Not quite a Newb


Joined: 14 Jul 2005
Posts: 41


PostPosted: Thu Feb 19, 2015 1:23 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

[quibble] The fine print needs to smaller. [/quibble]

This thread fills a much needed gap.


Eta - where do baby goats come from?

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Fakers: many, many, lots; an SSL and a couple of Resellers.
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AH, AH, AH! Two little !
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jose_cuervo
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PostPosted: Thu Feb 19, 2015 1:27 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Baby storks.

Next question.

_________________
Black Ribbon ~ star Safari Tattoo

“I guess a man is the only kind of varmint sets his own trap, baits it, and then steps in it.” ~ John Steinbeck
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bware419ers
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Joined: 25 Jun 2012
Posts: 15242
Location: Away on vacation


PostPosted: Thu Feb 19, 2015 1:33 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

I'm thinking of losing my virginity. Do you have suggestions on keeping the mess to a minimum? How much time will be required? Is a new mirror in order?

_________________
| SCAMWARNERS | GO PREMIUM! | REQUIRED READING | HOW TO REPORT BANK ACCOUNTS |

Sand Timer X 3 Closed lad accounts X 3326 X 246 Vcamera X 5
Safari D-Bag NYC - Dallas
Pith Helmet 5 Team Femmy
Safari Team Phatti
Safari Ralph BC-Kano w/ OP
Safari x8 Sand Timer Vcamera Owerri>Maiduguri>Owerri>Lagos>Lomé>Bmko>Kolokani Bmko>Nioro>Bmko>Timbuktu>Bmko>Youri Bmko>Mauritania>Kidira>Dakar>Jail -Team Godwin
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B8er
boomdazzler


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PostPosted: Thu Feb 19, 2015 1:35 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Should United play 4-4-2 or 4-5-1 at the weekend?

ETA: Bonus question - I've found bware's virginity, should I take it to Antiques Roadshow for a valuation?

_________________
verry soon you obituary will be anoused. you dont know those guys are mafians and they are now after you . mumu. rest in peace
"I DENOUNCE THE MUFFIN MEN" - Ma Kim
"YOU ARE WALKING DEAD MAN. YOUR WOODEN COFFIN IS READY TO SWALLOW YOU AND YOUR DIRTY GENERATION"
Safari x 5 Tattoo Golden Pig Easter 2015 Vcamera
United KingdomUnited StatesNigeriaMalaysiaNetherlandsThailandCanadaUnited Arab EmiratesUnited NationsAustraliaSenegalSpainBeninChinaDenmarkGhanaIvory CoastKorean FlagSouth AfricaSwedenBurkina FasoCambodia FlagcameroonGermanyHong KongIndonesiaJapanNew ZealandSwitzerlandTogoTurkeyUkraine x 335 Elite Ninja Team Member Whip
Cellphone x 4 Closed lad accounts x 1710 x 1904 - Fake cheques: $4,392,620.83
Safari Team Woody - Ghana to Singapore - 11535km

Last edited by B8er on Thu Feb 19, 2015 1:37 pm; edited 1 time in total
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jose_cuervo
Moderator


Joined: 01 Mar 2006
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PostPosted: Thu Feb 19, 2015 1:37 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

@ bware,
You will need to find it first.
Brawny - it's the "quicker picker-upper".
Just Cold cand do it in less than a minute.
Only if B8er wants to watch from the hallway.

Next question.

_________________
Black Ribbon ~ star Safari Tattoo

“I guess a man is the only kind of varmint sets his own trap, baits it, and then steps in it.” ~ John Steinbeck

Last edited by jose_cuervo on Thu Feb 19, 2015 1:39 pm; edited 1 time in total
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jose_cuervo
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PostPosted: Thu Feb 19, 2015 1:39 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

B8er wrote:
Should United play 4-4-2 or 4-5-1 at the weekend?

ETA: Bonus question - I've found bware's virginity, should I take it to Antiques Roadshow for a valuation?


Both.

Bonus answer: make a photocopy and leave the original in a safe place.

Next question.

_________________
Black Ribbon ~ star Safari Tattoo

“I guess a man is the only kind of varmint sets his own trap, baits it, and then steps in it.” ~ John Steinbeck

Last edited by jose_cuervo on Thu Feb 19, 2015 1:43 pm; edited 1 time in total
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bware419ers
Moderator


Joined: 25 Jun 2012
Posts: 15242
Location: Away on vacation


PostPosted: Thu Feb 19, 2015 1:41 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

OMG! Vanity. Not virginity. Stupid autocorrect.

_________________
| SCAMWARNERS | GO PREMIUM! | REQUIRED READING | HOW TO REPORT BANK ACCOUNTS |

Sand Timer X 3 Closed lad accounts X 3326 X 246 Vcamera X 5
Safari D-Bag NYC - Dallas
Pith Helmet 5 Team Femmy
Safari Team Phatti
Safari Ralph BC-Kano w/ OP
Safari x8 Sand Timer Vcamera Owerri>Maiduguri>Owerri>Lagos>Lomé>Bmko>Kolokani Bmko>Nioro>Bmko>Timbuktu>Bmko>Youri Bmko>Mauritania>Kidira>Dakar>Jail -Team Godwin
Safari Sammy Lagos>Accra Mass Bait
Goat Mortar Flying Monkey Mc Fry Jack Boot Easter 2015 Tattoo

Black Ribbon "FFS." - Capone
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4X1X9
Baiting Guru


Joined: 17 Sep 2006
Posts: 4596


PostPosted: Thu Feb 19, 2015 1:42 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Should I stop baiting and get on with my marking?

_________________
I can sense tunes of unnecessary logic in your mails, meaning that you can never work with us to actualize this project no matter how we try to convince you - Mr. Chidi 0kpala

You will have to munch the statistics of the transfer so I can give to them - Mr. James Hessom Hessom

If not that you only hide behind computer and be playing prawns with us - Benny Clifford

Pith Helmet France - Luxembourg

Closed lad accounts x26 - 2012 Closed lad accounts x258 - 2013
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(Grand Total Closed lad accounts 1048) Golden Pig
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jose_cuervo
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Joined: 01 Mar 2006
Posts: 7859
Location: Blackacre


PostPosted: Thu Feb 19, 2015 1:45 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Only on Thursdays.
Next question

_________________
Black Ribbon ~ star Safari Tattoo

“I guess a man is the only kind of varmint sets his own trap, baits it, and then steps in it.” ~ John Steinbeck
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B8er
boomdazzler


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PostPosted: Thu Feb 19, 2015 1:49 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Red or Black?

_________________
verry soon you obituary will be anoused. you dont know those guys are mafians and they are now after you . mumu. rest in peace
"I DENOUNCE THE MUFFIN MEN" - Ma Kim
"YOU ARE WALKING DEAD MAN. YOUR WOODEN COFFIN IS READY TO SWALLOW YOU AND YOUR DIRTY GENERATION"
Safari x 5 Tattoo Golden Pig Easter 2015 Vcamera
United KingdomUnited StatesNigeriaMalaysiaNetherlandsThailandCanadaUnited Arab EmiratesUnited NationsAustraliaSenegalSpainBeninChinaDenmarkGhanaIvory CoastKorean FlagSouth AfricaSwedenBurkina FasoCambodia FlagcameroonGermanyHong KongIndonesiaJapanNew ZealandSwitzerlandTogoTurkeyUkraine x 335 Elite Ninja Team Member Whip
Cellphone x 4 Closed lad accounts x 1710 x 1904 - Fake cheques: $4,392,620.83
Safari Team Woody - Ghana to Singapore - 11535km
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jose_cuervo
Moderator


Joined: 01 Mar 2006
Posts: 7859
Location: Blackacre


PostPosted: Thu Feb 19, 2015 1:52 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Green - double 00s

Next question.

_________________
Black Ribbon ~ star Safari Tattoo

“I guess a man is the only kind of varmint sets his own trap, baits it, and then steps in it.” ~ John Steinbeck
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Big Al
The Schmooze-Meister


Joined: 13 Dec 2011
Posts: 5054
Location: Winter is Coming....


PostPosted: Thu Feb 19, 2015 1:58 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

What is the average speed of a fully laden swallow?
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jose_cuervo
Moderator


Joined: 01 Mar 2006
Posts: 7859
Location: Blackacre


PostPosted: Thu Feb 19, 2015 2:08 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

The swallow doesn't percieve time in the same manner as the cast of Monty Python, therefore: speed, and lading do not enter into a swallow's consideration, when preparing to travel.

Next question.

_________________
Black Ribbon ~ star Safari Tattoo

“I guess a man is the only kind of varmint sets his own trap, baits it, and then steps in it.” ~ John Steinbeck
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