Mothers-In-Law

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Master of Master Baiters Joined: 18 Oct 2012 Posts: 611

I know that most depictions of the mother-in-law from hell are exaggerations but in my case, they're an understatement! >.< I'm trying to hold on...6 days left until we move out of her place. I just hope I can stay sane until then!

The thing that drives me absolutely bonkers is that I work midnights. I also go to school. I have a toddler. There are 6 ppl in the household and she decides to rip into ME for not keeping the house spotless?! I work 6 days out of the week when you add my school requirements in and she states that all I do is sleep and sit around all day! Mad

Anyone else here have a struggle with in-laws? Any advice on staying calm?

Tinkered with the title, because it was bugging me - TS

Trophy Videos · Posted: Wed Nov 26, 2014 6:58 pm

Pick up your beer bottles, wash your dishes, pick up your socks from the bathroom floor. Every time she rips into you, walk over and give her a hug and a smile. Do that for six days, and you'll never remember the other 296.

I was lucky. My mother-in-law was about the sweetest woman alive. Always had a smile and a nice word, and she called me, "My Favorite Son-In-Law."
No idea why, I sure left a few beer bottles around back then. Smile

Posted: Thu Nov 27, 2014 3:41 pm

I'll have you know I'm a lovely mother-in-law.... and I tell my daughters-in-law that on a regular basis !

Just smile and countdown.... if necessary convert it into hours and minutes.... 6 days only feels like a long time !

Something the mods dream up Joined: 22 Apr 2014 Posts: 906

DA, did you ever listen/watch Les Dawson? He absoluteltly LOVED his MIL

Posted: Thu Nov 27, 2014 5:53 pm

Oh yes..... he was brilliant ! Loved Les Dawson...

My son and his wife divorced many years ago... and she still calls me her mother in law even though she has remarried ! I went to her wedding and she's having a baby soon which will be my first granddaughter !

Posted: Thu Nov 27, 2014 10:54 pm

I love my mother in law. She's the sweetest lady I know. She's 87 and has dementia, so that may be part of why she loves me so much. Laughing

I will ask my fiancé how he deals with a pain in the a** MIL, because he has a doozy of one. Wink

I would just say something like, "I am sorry for not keeping up with the housework. I have just been so busy with work, school, my child and getting ready for our move. I know that's no excuse and I will try and do better for the remainder of our stay. I really appreciate your letting us stay with you while waiting for our place to be ready. In x amount of days, we'll be out of your hair and you can get your house back to normal." Then hug her.

Posted: Thu Nov 27, 2014 11:19 pm

Gigglesworth Asked:

Quote:

Anyone else here have a struggle with in-laws? Any advice on staying calm?

Beer chased by Drambui seems to do the trick.

Master of Master Baiters Joined: 18 Oct 2012 Posts: 611

Thanks for the responses you guys! I've tried the nice route with her but the problem is that unfortunately, she's highly dysfunctional. She's an alcoholic, we live in a household where only 3 of the 5 adults are working, and those other 2 adults are also not helping with the housework either. But she finds it easier to blame me than cracking down on her own kids. Oh well. At least I get along with HER mother! Smile

Tuesday isn't that far away. I've gone the "take deep breathes, smile and ignore" mode.

Posted: Fri Nov 28, 2014 8:59 am

best thing to do. There's a light at the end of the tunnel....

We want an update next week on how much you love being in your own place and away !

Posted: Fri Nov 28, 2014 6:32 pm

As a mother in law myself, I would say she's picking you as an easy target versus the others who she has to be around way more time during the day. You could always ask if there's one thing you could make sure is done every day and see if she can come up with something reasonable. You do it, and maybe, just maybe you are off the hook for other things.
I wish you well- get out of that situation as soon as you can. My daughter in law stayed with me a month before moving to be with my son and I loved it. But i admit if we had stayed together longer, there would have been plenty to get upset about. Good luck!

Posted: Fri Nov 28, 2014 7:04 pm

Buy her a bunch of flowers to give when you move out... I always find being nice in the face of the not nice throws people.

And those days are counting down....

Posted: Fri Nov 28, 2014 8:40 pm

Quote:

I've tried the nice route with her but the problem is that unfortunately, she's highly dysfunctional.

All the more reason to be nice. You don't want to give her any ammunition to talk bad about you. You will also be able to say, "I was nothing but kind to her!". Don't stoop down to her level, you're better than that.

I was a waitress for 10 years, the meaner/grumpier/unkind a guest was, the nicer I was. Wink

Master of Master Baiters Joined: 18 Oct 2012 Posts: 611

Thanks for all the encouragement! Smile

I appreciate it. And of course I'll provide an update about the new place, Doom Angel! I'm really excited.

I gave my MIL an essential oil blend...a sacral chakra blend, to help keep her grounded so to speak. And of course, a scent diffuser to go with it. Maybe it'll help, who knows?

And I agree Sweet Poison, I am the easier target, because I'm the outsider in this case, both family wise and unfortunately, racial wise as well (and she has made comments unfortunately). It probably doesn't help that we've been here a year now. Affordable housing is hard to find these days, even with a good paying job.

Four more sleeps now...almost everything is packed at this point. Now if this bloody cold would go away, everything would be just roses!

Not quite a Newb Joined: 14 Jul 2005 Posts: 41

Almost there! Wink

Posted: Sat Nov 29, 2014 3:07 am

My mother in law was a very sweet lady who, unfortunately, passed away suddenly of a brain hemorrhage early in our marriage. She was the very antithesis of the cliche of the mean, controlling MIL. Hang on, the end is in sight. And I concur with those who advise sweetness on your part. Make her miss you when you go.

Master of Master Baiters Joined: 18 Oct 2012 Posts: 611

Hi everyone!

So I moved in to my new place, and it is AMAZING! There is actually space for our stuff, we have windows in our bedrooms, and of course the awesome benefit of privacy! Very Happy

The downside being we have no couch, or table...or chairs. But they will come in time. At least we have beds so that's a plus! Our place is near a community centre, a grocery store, a library, a playground, and a summer wading pool. And close to my bank...and a convienience store...plus the building is kid friendly, so my son will fit right in, and there's a nearby elementary school for when he starts school next year. It is a paradise.

Posted: Thu Dec 04, 2014 12:07 pm

^
Once you have settled in you can invite the mother in law over for a nice holiday Smile

Something the mods dream up Joined: 22 Apr 2014 Posts: 906

are we all invited to the house warming party?

Master of Master Baiters Joined: 18 Oct 2012 Posts: 611

But of course! Smile

I just have to wait until my half a million dollar loan comes through to buy furniture, and we'll be all set! Razz

Thank you everyone again for your support! I've been going through a rough patch and it means a lot.