do scammers fall in love with their victims

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Hello I'm New here! Joined: 24 Sep 2014 Posts: 5

say its a female scammer from nigeria,do they ever get attached or fall in love with their victim. Something has to be keeping the victim locked in their web of bs. Can't just be gushy words or whatever else they tell the guy to keep the money flowing. This guy i know says he loves her and intends to marry her when she comes,sighh. I think he loves the fantasy of it all. Now he actually feel sorry for her because supposedly someone that was left in charge of her "millions" was taking it,I guess that's the story/excuse she gives for needing his money wired over. I think its a man,if she's so beautiful why not skype already. its been 9 months they've tallked he claims

Baiting Guru Joined: 19 Mar 2012 Posts: 5380

No.

They drain the victim completely of his or her finances, encourage the victim to sell a kidney, prostitute themselves, sell the home, sell children, etc..until the victim can no longer pay.

Once they achieve that they turn the victim into a money mule.

When the victim is arrested for fraud, they'll continue to abuse the victim until they no longer hear from him. They feel no shame in this at all. They then find another and another and another.

There is no love. Only greed.

I'd also like to add that though there are female scammers, I believe this is a male scammer. Should a phone call be necessary, the scammers use their girlfriends for voice.

Posted: Thu Sep 25, 2014 1:19 am

The only love they have for their victims is their money. Once that's gone, they're gone.

And like Ginger said, it's a he.

Posted: Thu Sep 25, 2014 6:01 am

As an example of a lad's overwhelming concern for my current character who is in a coma and possibly dying, he sends this message to the stressed out teenage daughter:

Quote:

Dxxxxx nothing will happen to dad he will be fine ok,go and meet the doctor your dad always take you to for check up and ask him of the western union receipt your dad gave to him and then also tell him to show you were they wrote the mtcn,mtcn is just a numbers. So on e he shows you the Mtcn numbers,please send them to me and also do you have a telephone I can call you with if yes send me the number so. That I can call you.Anthony,

Posted: Thu Sep 25, 2014 6:57 am

^^^^ Ugh!

That just burns me up.

Posted: Thu Sep 25, 2014 1:10 pm

You are absolutely correct in believing it is most likely a man.

The vast majority of scammers are male, even the ones playing females. Those gushing, lovely, "feminine" emails are most often copied--from romantic letter/poetry sites, from porn sites (yep, happens all the time), from previous victims. Sometimes they do write things themselves with laughable results--let's just say that their attempts to write from a female perspective are sometimes way off and any female would be scratching her head.

Sometimes male scammers who play females will have a wife, girlfriend, or friend helping them, or if they work in a group there may be a female handling phone calls and photos (assuming they aren't using a porn chick's photos, which is the most common approach) etc. But often there is no female in the gang at all.

I am not saying this to imply that women can't be cold-blooded scammers. I am saying this because Nigerian society in general is far behind the western world when it comes to gender equality. Men are far more likely to be educated and "important." Women are still far more likely to be sheltered, less likely to be educated, and are relegated to more "feminine" roles, both in work and at home. Young men are far more likely to have the connections, skills (though to us they may seem lacking) and opportunities to scam than women are, and their society is far more accepting of men scamming.

Hello I'm New here! Joined: 24 Sep 2014 Posts: 5

Thanks for the replies everyone. It just this whole thing makes me sick to my stomach. The way he cussed me out over this facade of a person just was the final straw. He has the gall to be mad at his dad because he hasn't repaid him a $200 loan he gave him months ago. Yet because he thinks there is going to be some pay off romantically with this man in africa,we all know the truth here..he's not as concerned about giving money freely to "her". So we tried to get his cousin to talk some sense into him to no avail,his cousin said well maybe this will be the wake up call he needs since he never listen to reason. I hate to just go MIA but unfortunetly like many have told me,the scammer will have to slip up on "her" own for him to see the light. Fortunetly I think telling him about their fake check/money order schemes and reshipping lit a fire under him and in the very least he will think when she mentions it now on. He swears he hasn't cashed any checks but he never denied "her" offering it to him. I mean what other "job opportunities" could someone in another country give someone here in California when first off they are scamming you under your nose and two "she" would be better off helping herself get money don't you thinnk. I just think he's lying and has done the check cashing because he just got way too mad at the accusation and then started say we have no proof/if he didn't know it was a bad check its not illegal ect...The biggest thing is he hasn't even mentioned this "relationship" to his father or most of his family,"she" only allowed him to tell his mom after he asked her if it was ok. If that wasn't red flag enough, anyone telling you to keep something secret is sketchy. Something just told me right away that it was a hustle and she'd be asking him for $ soon. "she" told him to keep the $ secret. Now I don't think they call as much anymore because he kept saying he knows its a female because her writing style/expression. My goodness I am just giving up. I just hope one day in the future once he's figured it all out he will forgive me for things I said and move forward. As of right now we are just trying to ruin his happiness in his words. It just hurts being called untrustworthy/uncredible when he's dealing with a lying scammer but is just too blind to see it or admit it to himself.

Posted: Thu Sep 25, 2014 7:58 pm

true, I know it's very hard and frustrating seeing someone you care about not accepting the truth about them being scammed. There are many different formats of 'inheritance' scam. Perhaps print them out and leave it with him to read when he's ready.

If he has cashed checks, the owner of the account will notice and he will be liable. Sometimes that's all it takes for him to see the truth. Once he's run out of money, "she" will be gone and that's where you come in. Right now he's not willing to accept that he's being scammed, and that's frustrating for you and if you continue to push him, he might just pull away from you and you don't want that. When he does figure it out, he'll need you and you need to be an option for him to go to. So many victims will not admit they were scammed and it physically, emotionally and mentally destroys them and they don't want to reach out to friends and family because they are embarrassed and humiliated that they were scammed and don't want to hear "I told you so", so they say nothing and fall into a world of depression. I know it's hard, but be there for him. Right now he's in honeymoon stage and believes he's found the one, so he won't listen. It will end and "she" will be gone, and when that happens he needs to have you there for him.

Have you gone to ScamWarners.com yet? Do you know the name she is using? Perhaps you can search and see if "she's" listed there along with some of "her" victims. ScamWarners is better equipped to handle these sort of things. But, if you can get "her" information, there are many of us here who would give "her" some love, Eater Style! Twisted Evil

Hello I'm New here! Joined: 24 Sep 2014 Posts: 5

somebody at home..thank you so much for your commment,you don't know how much better you made me feel right now. I'm backing off until he wakes up. I don't want to permantly destroy things with him,and I know I'm too emotionally involved now so for my own sake just not going there this point forward. He just hurt me so bad saying I can't relate to someone going without and that she's an orphan ect..I take things personal I suppose and so him getting nasty and questioning my trustworthiness when he's ...nevermind leaving it alone lol. My fear is though,he gets ssi/disability so the money willl always come in its not like a job where you have to keep it to support yourself. Well he swore up and down he hasn't cashed checks but you know how someone denies something and then says "and even if I had...." . He's been MIA from me at least,for the past few days. When I said about the refugee scam/419 he said that was pathetic since she "never told me she was a refugee" sighhh. The worst is that he blamed me and a few others as hacking his facebook and when I told him that was a tactic used by scammers to get in and access your freinds/family he as usual know it all fashion,said that is the dumbest things he's ever heard seeing as his family knows how he talks,ect..I was able to get a freind whose been scammed to message him and he told me she messaged but a mix up happened and she blocked him. So I suppose he's willing to listen somewhat. He just keeps harping on the same thing "I know what you do not,you know a few details not even close to everything I know about this person and how she's gained my trust". I will try to send the inheritance thing to show him how it goes but he's ignoring me now so I guess have to wait for things to get somewhat good again between us. And you're right,I will try to stay on his radar and be there. All we know is sandra and she's living in nigeria but according to a background check he did online she's from alabama. I'm going to try to get a full name lol.

Not quite a Newb Joined: 14 Jul 2005 Posts: 41

True, I think it would probably be best for you to walk away from all of this.

It is impossible to make people that you care about make the right decisions - all you can do is give them the tools to do so.

It sounds like you have done everything that you can on your own, and it has not worked.

If you give me or another moderator his email or phone, name and other personal information, I can guarantee that an experienced warner will attempt contact - just PM one of us.

You can also try to contact your local police and explain the advanced fee fraud.

What is very important is that you stop carrying all of this on your shoulders, alone - it isn't healthy, it isn't helpful, and it can be destructive.

Hello I'm New here! Joined: 24 Sep 2014 Posts: 5

I know and we no longer speak since last week. I backed off now from contacting him. I only posted this because the last thing he messaged me was that he can do what he wants with his $ and accused me of hacking his account. So that stirred things up again. I know I have to let it all go already.

Not quite a Newb Joined: 14 Jul 2005 Posts: 41

Let us try to help, True.

PM me or any other moderator and let us approach it.

Posted: Thu Sep 25, 2014 9:11 pm

true, I am glad to be of help <hugs>. Perhaps you can tell him "You're right, you can spend your money any way you wish. I am your friend, I am just concerned and do not want this to end our friendship. I am sorry."

When things fall apart (and they will) he at least has you as a friend to help him through it. You're doing the right thing on researching and getting the tools/help he will need. PM a mod, there are a lot of caring and compassionate individuals who can contact him and perhaps help him see the light. Unfortunately, he might have to hit rock bottom for that to happen. Just be a friend and not let this destroy what friendship you do have with him. He needs you, even if he doesn't know that right now. His scammer is counting on alienating him with his friends and family so he can continue to scam your friend.

You're a good friend.

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