Giant Spiders invade the UK

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Posted: Thu Sep 18, 2014 1:05 pm

From the Daily Mirror,

http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/weird-news/giant-spiders-set-invade-uk-4275507

Something the mods dream up Joined: 22 Apr 2014 Posts: 906

Quote:

We want to encourage people to respect and learn more about their little house guests.

Posted: Thu Sep 18, 2014 1:11 pm

Look on the bright side, perhaps they'll eat all the invading deadly Asian mosquitos http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2760304/Deadly-mosquitoes-heading-Britain-Experts-fear-disease-carrying-bugs-spotted-Europe-crossing-channel.html

Posted: Thu Sep 18, 2014 5:54 pm

For the benefit of non UK viewers of this post I would like to point out that the Daily Mirror is one of those papers whose normal readership have trouble clapping their hands together without missing.

Yes these 'giant' spiders do give a bit of a surprise turning up in ones home but they are harmless and only out looking for a mate. There is no need to kill them - I shoo them into a plastic tumbler at let them go again in the garden. I've relocated 5 of them so far this month - not sure if it's the same buggers coming back in again though Confused

Posted: Thu Sep 18, 2014 5:58 pm

And for anyone wondering what giant spiders look like

Posted: Thu Sep 18, 2014 7:32 pm

Yak, remind me not to visit. I hate spiders.

Not quite a Newb Joined: 14 Jul 2005 Posts: 41

No, B8er. A giant spider looks like this:

Posted: Fri Sep 19, 2014 9:09 pm

As long as it doesn't turn into this movie I think we'll be fine.

Baiting Guru Joined: 29 Jan 2008 Posts: 2531 Location: AU

we have a spider or two here in Australia Very Happy

Posted: Sat Sep 20, 2014 12:13 am

^Master outside of the Shorty thread...and all it took was a spider. Laughing

Not quite a Newb Joined: 14 Jul 2005 Posts: 41

Your spiders are very scary, Master.

Whenever I think of Australia, I am reminded of Terry Pratchett and Death having to change his search from things that will kill you there (books and books and books) to things that aren't harmful (a single scrap of paper). Laughing

Posted: Sat Sep 20, 2014 1:04 am

SPIDERS?

I put them out of my misery. Rapidly. Without remorse. Evil or Very Mad

Posted: Sat Sep 20, 2014 3:39 am

Master wrote:

we have a spider or two here in Australia Very Happy

Yeah, Australia . . . . Nice place . . . . Too bad everything there is trying to kill you.

As for giant spiders, pbbbt. We get ones that size on almost a yearly basis. I get them out of the house ASAP because I have a slight allergy to spider bites. I get large, swollen welts that itch for weeks. Like this, which is actually a yellow jacket sting I got last year (the scabby thing below my thumb), but the same thing happens with spiders.

Posted: Sat Sep 20, 2014 4:45 am

^I feel you, Rowan. I can help a snake turn away with a well-placed dirk, but spiders, yellow jackets, red wasps and fire ants (in that order) require a trip to the clinic. Sad

Posted: Sat Sep 20, 2014 8:40 am

^^ Masters spider or two in Australia. only remember about the funnel web camping in the toilet, had to check under the seat, first. Laughing

Posted: Sat Sep 20, 2014 10:59 am

Quote:

I shoo them into a plastic tumbler at let them go again in the garden.

I use a paper cup. The kind you use to rinse after brushing your teeth. The only spiders I kill on sight are black widows. They rarely come in the house and even then it's behind the furnace or whatever. My wife found one a couple of days ago in the front yard behind a stone tablet she bought years ago when our dog died. She made me kill it (the black widow) because she thought one of our cats might get bit jacking with it.

Quote:

I get large, swollen welts that itch for weeks

Not saying this in your case, just in general. Many people confuse abscesses with spider bites or blame the abscess on a spider bite.

Just for fun, Google abscess and go to videos. You'll find many videos of doctors draining abscesses. Do the same for spider bites and see the same type of videos minus a doctor. After this count the days before you can eat anything with custard again.

**NOTE - master eats custard donuts while watching the videos **

Posted: Sat Sep 20, 2014 1:03 pm

^I know better than to read Eater before breakfast, yet I do it anyway. Laughing

Posted: Sun Sep 21, 2014 12:52 am

Forget the 'giant' Spider threat - I've just had 5 minutes of fun and games extricating a pipistrelle Bat from a sash window where I'm staying at the moment.
Good job it wasn't a squirrel or a dwarf in a romper suit intruding else my trusty 12 bore would have been deployed (which would probably entail me having to to do a lot of explaining over breakfast in the morning).

Posted: Sun Sep 21, 2014 1:44 am

^Oh dear. I forgot to mention bats. I have a mane of curly hair. My father, ever the comedian, used to joke that bats would get caught in my hair and bite my head. Shocked

Explains my propensity for wearing a bag on my head.

Yes, open to suggestions and comments. Razz

Master of Master Baiters Joined: 13 Jan 2014 Posts: 698

Spiders? Australia? I got bitten by one once .... in Australia. Wife was scared of them, I love and admire them. One morning she came running to me. "There are two big brown spiders in the bathroom, copulating," she said. So on goes my shining armour. "Never fear, Desirable Maiden," I quoth, and galloped forth towards the plumbing. High up in the furthest corner above the bath there were indeed two arachnids enjoying a moment of tender intimacy. I quickly summed up the situation and came to the conclusion that they were well out of reach, so I grabbed a handy broom, intending to dislodge them into the bath and then return them to the banana tree situated just outside of the window.

Now, the huntsman spider can move very, very fast - I can vouch for it, because in less time than the words "Oh shit" can be uttered, one of them leaped along the broom handle and bit me on the finger. Now, I don't blame the spider - not a bit of it. but it didn't half hurt!

Posted: Sun Sep 21, 2014 7:30 pm

How would you have reacted if some plonker had shoved a broom up your bum, when your servicing your wife at the time. Wink

Not quite a Newb Joined: 14 Jul 2005 Posts: 41

Good point, I think.

Posted: Sun Sep 21, 2014 9:38 pm

^

Quote:

Good point, I think

I doubt it, broom handles are generally rounded off for comfort.

Baiting Guru Joined: 29 Jan 2008 Posts: 2531 Location: AU

I threw a large huntsman at an Arachnophobic girl once(didn't know at the time). I have never heard such a hysterical hissy fit in all my life. It was extremely funny though.

I also used to have spider fights with my neighbour. We would find a random spider each(always looking for the most vicious venomous one possible) Two spiders enter one spider leaves.

Ah those were the days
anyway gotta get back to the shorty thread Wink

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