Ambitious Steve

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Posted: Sat Sep 06, 2014 2:24 pm

Lately it happens that more lads approach my character in German, and so did Steve. That deserves some recognition, so I decided I would give him all the love he deserves. He uses a translator, and because I have so many straight baits going on, I tried whether there would be a chance for some hilarity here. It is.....he does not seem to read my messages at all, he just keeps going.

His profile on Tagged: http://www.tagged.com/profile.html?uid=6013306888

Quote:

Hello, good day dear, I feel to bless you for coming on such a beauty, well i`m new on the site and I'm looking for friends, you can allow me to ask you for a little favor? we can be good friends? I believe we can add value to each other's life, please send me your e-mail address for easy communication, as we do not always talk here ... I'll be waiting for your reply, kisses
Lad

Good morning Lad, thanks for your kind message! My email address is [email protected], I'm looking forward to receiving your letter!

Then there was silence for 4 weeks, and all of a sudden I received an email, this time in English. I had almost forgotten about him......

Quote:

Aug 28 um 7:31 PM

Hello ,
How are you?I guess you are fine as always.Thanks for your mail to tell you about me,my name is Steve Dave 54 Years old..... I am an Irish National but i live and work here in England. I am divorced because my best friend slept with my wife and i do not want to remember the day. I don't have any kids. Well I do really wished to know you better and to meet you one of these days...I do not care about distance as traveling is one of my hobbies.I do travel every month because of the kind of job I do. I am a mechanical/Electrical Engineer by profession,I have been with the company for 11 years as the Director of protocols. I`m 5`8" 175 lbs with a athletic build , mentally stable, physically fit, a bunch of laughs, warm, caring, honest, a good listener, God Fearing, and a positive person. I am real easy person to talk to . I enjoy playing sax which i do often at my leisure time.I like going to the movies,or watching movies in my room or Cabin, I like swimming,listening to music and dance to any kind of music,i sing,sailing, going bowling and also a good cook.I am a family oriented person,love children and there is more, but it would be better for you to find some things out for yourself....Looking forward to hear from you and please take good care of yourself and have a wonderful day while waiting for your response. I care

Lad.

Hello Lad,

please enlighten my darkness, I do not remember at all when I sent you an email or gave you my email address.
This is very strange, and an explanation would be highly welcome.

Kind regards

Quote:

01. September um 7:00 AM

Hello

I was so much excited to read your mail and thanks so much for taking your time to write me in spite of your busy schedule. Content of mail well understood and noted .

I am confident you are in good health. Honestly, there is so much I want to tell you and so many things I want to ask you, I don't know where to start. I am new at this online dating thing so please understand if I am a little awkward at it. I am writing this message to you not for the fun of it, but because I want you to take some time for yourself and read carefully.

Let me start by saying that I thank God since I met you. As you may have known, the fountain of any relationship must spring up in the mind. It is very important for me to express to you how much you really mean to me. I wish I could do this in person while gazing into your eyes,but since we are physically separated by miles of emptiness, this expression must come in the form of letters such as this.
To me, you are first of all my friend and then...... something more greater in the near future..... God willing. To be honest with you, I am really short of words here, but one thing I do know is that I have the arms to give you a hug, ears to listen to whatever you want to talk about through chat, mail or phone, and I have a heart; a heart that is aching to see your smile. I would like to use this opportunity to say...I am delighted to have met you.

To tell you more about me, I am an honest, kindhearted, hardworking man who does need the support of a loving woman. Ideally, l am someone who is confident in what he want and who he is. We all face tough situations in our lives and we sometimes tend to be mislead by it. A lot of times we often tend to give up. In this life, I have chosen to give up numerous times but I am proud to say that I have also chosen to stay strong and be patient all these years..... which has now led to my finding you. He who seek happiness; they say, by changing anything but his own disposition will waste his life in fruitless efforts and multiply the grief which he purposes to remove. Your living is determined not so much by what life brings you as by the attitude you bring to life; not so much by what happens to you as by the way your mind looks at what happens. This is the reason I have decided to move on in life in spite of my incalculable loss.

Yes! Distance doesn't permit the action to be seen, rather, words convey the feelings when distance hinders. No matter the distance that separates us now, I can assure you that this gap will be bridged as we really get to know each other. As the saying goes: "True Love and Friendship knows no boundaries and no distance; miles and obstacles mean absolutely nothing in the face of love" Though miles may lie between us right now, we'll never be apart forever, for friendship doesn't count the miles, it's measured by the heart.

Now that dishonesty and disbelieve seems to be taking over our souls these days, to know there are people like you makes all the problems look smaller. It’s great to be your friend and to be able to look into the future and see a mix of serenity and hope. This fairly recent friendship is something I consider to be sacred already. It makes me have faith again in some simple but fundamental human values which sometimes; for the lack of practice, we swipe under the carpets of our memories and of our hearts. For me, this new friendship is precious and that’s why I intend to keep it till the end of my days. I believe we can achieve that, because I have faith in you and I have more and more faith in life and in the future. Those who have a friend like you fear nothing. Always bear in mind that my affection and true friendship will be yours forever.I am 54 Years of age.

My job will be taking me to Australia by tomorrow (Sailing for a month....and I will really like us to chat before I go.Here is my direct contact number +4479xxx8327 or +4478xxxx3005 I want you to send me your contact number so I can call you.

Hug and sweet kisses
Sincerely,
Lad From Tagged/Hi5

1. September um 8:25 AM
Good morning Lad,

now slow down your horses, you're almost attacking like Blücher!
This comes all so fast, and I definitely do not give my phone number to anyone after the first email!
And it would be much better if you can continue to write in German, because my English is miserable.
I mean, if I have to write something, that's not such a big problem because there are translation programs, but I can say that I can hardly speak any English.
I can possibly order a beer, and then that is it.
I saw on one of your photos that you have a cat.
I have a cat allergy, so the cat definitely has to go, when we think about a future together.
What will you be doing in Australia, and why in the world do you take a ship? It would be much faster and more convenient if you would travel by plane!

Posted: Sat Sep 06, 2014 2:35 pm

Quote:

September 1 at 6:52 PM

My Dearest

Every time I read your e-mail'm always excited and happy.I read your e-mail over and over as usual and I discover that this relationship is already blessed by God.Sorry for my late response, as we so much been busy since we are sailing straight

I want you to know that since the day we met I deeply in love with you. There are no words to describe the gratitude I feel in my heart that you came to expression in my life, and how you make every day so special. You are my life, my heart, my soul. You're my best friend, my one true love, my everything. I love you more today than I yesterday, and I will love you more tomorrow than I do today.

My love, you have the happiest man I have ever made me. You are sincere, caring, loving woman, and I would not trade for the world. I am so grateful and blessed that you loved me as much as I have loved you

Ever since you walked into my life I have smiling. It has not a night when I went to sleep with a frown on his face, and that is all together because of you.Our life is amazing, and together it will only get better and better. I will be forever grateful that you came into my life and made all my dreams come true. Together we are perfect, and I will enjoy to enjoy the rest of my life with you. I love you more than words say.I love you with all my heart. I have never trusted anybody like I trust you. Sometimes I doubt myself, but I know I never doubt, because you my true love. I know deep inside that you will never break my heart or me in any way

I keep thinking about the future, about life, and what I want out of it. I keep thinking about us and what this relationship means to me. I always think about these things and I realize they go hand in hand. This relationship is my future; it's what I want out of life. I want to be with you old. I want to experience this crazy love forever and ever, and I think I'm going to get to experience it. I want us to go through new houses picking the one that is the right thing would be for us exactly. I want to see you around our house with your hair go down in a big T-shirt and catch me staring at how gorgeous and beautiful you are. I want the covers from me to draw in the night and then I have to get closer to, if it is possible to keep warm for you. I want to see you laugh like crazy at me when I do stupid stuff. I want to rub lotion all over your body because you set too long in the sun. I want to hold you when you cry and smile with you when you smile. I want every night slept with you fall into my arms. I want you slept on my chest listening to the beat of my heart fall, and know that it beats for you, I want you, the first thing I see when I wake up and the last thing I see when I go to sleep to be. I want to see your hair rough morning; I know it will be so nice. I want to sit on the beach with you and watch the sunset, and I want everyone to see and envy, the love that we obviously have for each other.
I want to see that you are walking the island, and I want to take your hand for the rest of my life. I want to spend the whole night, and maybe the next day with an immortal passion, make love to you (sorry to be so blunt). I want to be seventy years old and still with you a little kid happy. I want to cook a meal with you and us totally ruin and end up going to dinner. I want to sit there talking to you for hours about anything, but in the same time everything or maybe we will not talk and only to realize today how lucky we are to grin. I want you to get mad at me for doing something stupid, and I want you to laugh bust if you try to yell at me. I want to lay with you in front of a fireplace and keep the heat going long after the fire goes out. I want to travel by you to places that we never and experience together. I want us to go skinny-dipping in a hotel pool and caught and streak back to our hotel room waking everyone up because we're laughing so hard. I want us to go and pick out the hot tub we want with the biggest grins on our faces the whole time. I want the sales rep embarrassed when we sit in them and make sure we have enough space to do the things we want to do. I want to get our friends and get totally jealous because they do not share a love like we do.

I want to leave you breathless every time I say, "I love you" take, because you know that it comes from the heart. I want us to sit with a box of strawberries, a bottle of chocolate syrup and mint chocolate ice cream; well, I'll talk your imagination that .. I want to love you and to be with you for at least ALWAYS or a little longer than forever. I could not really put into words what I feel right now so I decided to share with you some of the images and thoughts that have run through my head.

I just want you to know that I never someone I wanted to until I met you spend found the rest of my life. 'm Really crazy about you, everything about you.
Baby please good care of yourself and may the good Lord bless you, send me your pictures

Lots of love
Lad

An Lad
2 September at 7:36 AM

Hi Lad,

Thank you for your confused scribbling, I was delighted, really!
Since the mail is so long, I've just printed it out and took it with me into the living room, grabbed myself a double Jägermeister and a small juicy ground beef hedgehog, and then put my feet up on the table, and started to read.
That's crazy, you're quite sure that you love me?
How did this happen so fast?
I have a helluva luck, really!

And what do you mean when you say you're sailing straight?
It does not make any sense to sail in circles, does it, because that would literally not take you anywhere, right?
Are you already on the way to Australia?
Where exactly will you go there, to one of the big cities, or out to the countryside?
I'm more like a country bumpkin, even though I live in the city.

Have you already gotten rid of the cat? I would think so, because you're at sea, right?
I am also allergic against strawberries, but chocolate is absolutely fine!

Posted: Sat Sep 06, 2014 2:46 pm

Quote:

September 2 at 10:14 PM

baby

We met and we became close friends. All I knew was, simply were a friend, but as time went on, the love grew in our hearts and it was getting stronger every day, and did not want to let go of that feeling. It is so special to me and I fell in love with you .......... There was never a time that I do not think of you. The face that I saw in your picture, your eyes, your hair and your whole self, were all that I wanted on the internet all the time, as first seen in the morning, it was like my lucky charm ..... . too, without seeing you .... for real, but I can not stop to think for a minute, it was like magic. I have to spend many years trying to find love thee still able to someone, until my lucky day to find love, was not the day I decided to check the Internet again, like any other normal day, I find , a special share true love physically, is all I wish for now, I will be with you and spend the rest of my life not with you, please let me disappointed because I did not find the face to my shame in the face .... ..... .. My heart has a lot to you that I feel like I have you for a long long long time now.Can call me with this number I gave you known? . call me please. +447xxxxx48327 Or +4478xxxx3005 I love you

Lad

3 September at 7:32 AM

Hi Lad,

Thank you for your letter!
I love you too, I have had the same feeling right immediately from the very beginning, this feeling of butterflies in the stomach, which is almost just like the feeling that one has before one gets a bad diarrhea attack, but this time it tingles even a lot more!
Oh good grief, what are you doing to me? I love you to the moon and back!

Is the cat somewhere near you? Then I can not call you, that is because my allergy is so bad that even the presence of a cat at the other end of a telephone line immediately causes puffy eyes and very terrible cough triggers, I have experienced that often before!
Are you still sailing straight? How far have you come already, are you traveling solo, or do you have a crew?
And, Schnuckiputzi, you please do not just think that I might be disappointed because you could not find the face to your shame face, happens to me all the time, especially when I had one drink too many!
Now there is my breakfast on the table, another juicy ground beef hedgehog with a large latte macchiato ( I poured myself a double Jägermeister in, just for the taste), and then I will go and take a bath.
The two weeks are over, and my hair is getting greasy.

I love and miss you!

Posted: Sat Sep 06, 2014 3:02 pm

Quote:

4 September at 6:20 PM

My Dearest

My father once told me that the greatest ingratitude in life is gratitude not expressed..Be that as it may, first I would like to appreciate, I wish you all the best and much success in your work.I have your letter again and again to read and I discover that I actually saw a woman, to be sent by God my first and only, and I will continue to maintain and treat you like an egg, and you know what that means. Honey you are my queen.

I do not know how to express the conflicting emotions, like a storm through my heart all this while rose. I only know that first and foremost in all my thoughts was the glorious confirmation you gave me - without effort, unconsciously, of course - of all I have ever mad and just thought I could heart.If with the right come are words to describe the depth of this beautiful feeling that I have a photo email.The best thing I can do is for you, I would you I am the first time, already tell you now, have whispered.

You have the greatest soul, the noblest nature, the sweetest, most loving heart I have ever known, and my love and admiration for you have increased so much since we got to know us, that there me.when amazed during the sad times an angel should come to you, open your eyes and see who is this angel, because that is your true love.

I want to tell you that the love I have for you is immortal. It is a love that is strong and durable and will stand the test of time. It is not in love that makes me happy. It is in love with you that makes me happy. I feel really blessed me that you have come into my life, and I can not wait until the day that we can join our lives together. I want to lie next to you at night and sleep in the arms. I want to wake to your beautiful smile. I want to share in your joys and sorrows. I want to be your everything, because you're everything to me now.

I promise to always love you and keep you always in my heart. I will always be there for you when you need me, I want you, no matter what life brings us love. You are my soul mate, and I vow to love you all eternity. Remember ... love is the link that holds two hearts
While many a soul are unhappy with love, no one is happy without them.
I may be able to talk the languages of men and angels too, but if I do not love, my speech is no more than a noisy gong or a clanging bell. I may have the gift of inspired preaching; I may have and understand all mysteries all knowledge; I can see the faith needed to move mountains, but if I do not love, I am nothing. I can tell everything I have, and even give my body to, but if I do not love doing this to me not good.

A dream again about you last night has never happened to me before, I had a dream I held you, kiss you, like us, where romancing I woke up to see me kiss my pillow, oh my God, what is that I wish I had a dream of me holding my pillow and wake up kiss, that would have been wonderful.

My baby have a wonderful day, and God bless you and keep you. His light may always with you. He can certainly keep you from harm and protect you and your family especially wrong. May He fill you his peace. May He guide you on your way. Bring joy with each new day. .

Hugs and kisses with much love
Lad

4 September at 10:34 PM

Hi Lad,

Thanks for your letter!
Wow, I'm blown away to learn that I'm your queen of eggs now and you will treat me like honey!
You know what? I will not run into someone like you in the nearer future!
I think I love you! And if it is not love what I feel, it could be bloating, I had broccoli for lunch today, and I do not really seem to tolerate it, I have a sensitive digestive system !
Today did not turn out to be my day at all, from the beginning! That is why I am so very super happy to receive such a romantic letter from you.
Oh my beloved Schniedelwutz, I had nothing but stress today, from dawn till dusk!
It started this morning when I went to the pharmacy to pick up my urinary catheters which I had ordered, but they had not been delivered, and because I need a special size that you just do not find at every corner, I must put up now with red and white striped party straws and freezer bags as a substitute instead; can you imagine how stupid that looks?
Certainly not! But well .... one has to make the best of the situation, I think I might still have some silly paper hats from last years Carnival in my closet, and I will put that on, too.

Schnucki, how is your trip to Australia making out?
Do you only have sails, or does the boat also have a motor, or do you have to row? How far you have come, and where exactly are you going there now in Australia, and what will you be doing there?

I miss you, you are my dream man!
I love you !!

10000 kisses

Posted: Sat Sep 06, 2014 3:13 pm

Quote:

September 5 at 6:18 PM

My dearest,

When I open my PC to read your email, I was so excited and happy.How you today? I think you are good? I come to you with open hearts and open mind.I a child of God and of a good Christian background.Once again many thanks for your e-mail interesting you make me happy and read it over and over again. Indeed?

My dearest, my heart cries out for you. As miles apart from you is like salt drips onto an open wound. I never thought I could appreciate someone so much as I think a lot of you ...... even if we are far apart. My heart seems to prefer to have all second ..... this great distance that separates us grow. I know that some decisions are hard to make, but if affection and love prevail over all other interests, then all roads fortunately wide open and risk-free. First of all I would like to make sure that you know that I love you very much, even if we do not yet know, and that you wanted the best and the most desired person than you might be.I want you to know today I do not have family, because my family pass away than I 5 years old, so I was the web with the missionary.

About my work ........ my duties as director of operations on board in the society, it is in the best interest of the company and in good faith at all times.Prepares proposals for support of the operation of ships and for the acquisition of ACT of equipment on board and on board scientific equipment. Recommends and implements policies, the. Staff for marine and operation of ships Maintain records of vessel utilization, structures and regulatory and compliance control point.

Baby, distance does not allow the action to see, but words convey the feelings when the distance hindered. No matter the distance that separates us now, I can assure you that this gap can be bridged, as we really get to know each other. As the saying goes: "True love and friendship knows no boundaries and no distance, miles and obstacles mean absolutely nothing in the face of love" Though miles between us are now, we will never be separated forever, friendship doesn 't count the miles, it's measured by the heart.

Take care of yourself and have a blessed day
Hug and Kisses
Lad

6 September at 3:30 PM

Hello Lad,

Thanks for your letter, I'm so là là, I've seen better days, you can believe me! I have a mild bladder irritation, which is probably due to the sharp straws, but if I smear plenty of Vaseline on the irritated parts, then I can cope with it. Is only until tomorrow at last, thank God!
Do I understand you correctly, you grew up with missionaries?
How did that happen?
And what about your journey, you have not told me nothing yet!
Do you sail, or has your ship an engine?
What is the name of the vessel, and where exactly are you going in Australia?
That's a pretty big country, and I've heard that there's a large amount of venomous critters crawling around, so just watch out where you step! And do not walk around barefoot!
I've also heard that Australia, due to the world economic crisis, can only afford a very very thin ozone layer, so the sun is very dangerous, you must promise me to always use a good sun blocker, so you do not get a sunburn, ok?
And please get a blocker with extremely high protection factor, all below 40 is good for nothing!

You're absolutely right, the distance does not matter if you're close to each other in the heart!
I love you to the moon and back and kiss your whole body!
Is the cat gone for good now, or do you have it on board?
If so, I can not call you on the phone, because of my allergy!
Can I call you at all? You have an English phone number, but you're not in England, how is this supposed to work?
Do I have to dial the Australian area code or the area code of the location in the Atlantic where you are in the moment I will be making the call?

I love and kiss you!

Posted: Sat Sep 06, 2014 5:39 pm

Quote:

It started this morning when I went to the pharmacy to pick up my urinary catheters which I had ordered, but they had not been delivered, and because I need a special size that you just do not find at every corner, I must put up now with red and white striped party straws and freezer bags as a substitute instead; can you imagine how stupid that looks?

Absolutely priceless Laughing

Posted: Sun Sep 07, 2014 6:51 pm

He thanks me for my intelligent mail? OMG, what a freak! i might even launch the next level then....let's see
Cool

Quote:

Lad

Today at 8:07 PM

My dearest wife

Good read, your intelligent email and hope you are fine and your work. Baby now know that already in love with you, and that I myself when I pray you grow stronger with one leg, I do not for my love for you is fulfilled.
I want you to know there are today in noting this earth will disappoint me,

This is my last trip, I'm resignation this year after several years with the company as director of operations.It is not always easy on the high seas every time, even if they have to pay us very well, there are so many risk involved.I 'm in private investment and contract and I already have a contract with a German company, the metal oil supply and buy them in Australia.

I'm Resignation, so I'm taking a woman after my own heart, and that is no other person than NAME OF MY CHARACTER+HIS SURNAME.
Am sure that we get to Australia by the end of the month and after I get my way and see the face and say how much you mean to me and to find to discuss about our future face.

Be careful and have a great day full of happiness.

I care
Lad.

Hello Schnuckiputz,

ey ..... did I get that right, you want me to be your wife?
That's totally great .... then I would say YES!
But there are a couple of things we will have to clarify.
Is the cat eventually gone? I have a bad allergy !!
And let's be honest ...... NAME OF MY CHARACTER+YOUR SURNAME sounds just shitty!
Under German law, you can also take on my last name, your name would be Steve Dave of the Fart, how do you like the idea?

Schatzi, I'm so happy! You saved my day, which was really crappy as of the morning to ! My wheelchair has a flat tire on the right, and I can not find my air pump. I also don't find my marzipan dildo .... my goodness, I am so grateful that the day is now almost over!
How are you, darling?
What about your trip, where exactly are you now?
I'd just like to call you, but I really do not know what area code I need to dial!

I love you !!

your wife

Posted: Thu Sep 11, 2014 11:34 am

Oh well...he still does not provide the area code of that certain part of the Indian Ocean he's presently cruising, so I cannot call him. Would have been funny, as he believes I do not speak English at all.

Quote:

September 10 at 10:08 AM
My Dearest Wife,

How are you? I hope you are well and in radiant health. I look forward to my coming and waiting anxiously for the moment when we actually meet.

I love you more today than yesterday and I through it all deep inside me, I feel that I always love you. I like to write to you and you need to write me back. I long for the day when the social network will not be our Mediator, but we will be in the same place at the same time, so that both of us have come to the right place. I love you and I promise to take care of your heart, is all I ask in return that you take special care of me. A heart is as fragile as an egg, a glass that was thrown from a high point, is bound to smash into pieces never be the same again. Can I trust my fragile heart to your care? Take some time and really throw, that's really what you want? keep the answer until we are face to face and then look me in the eyes and give me your final answer, I will do the same.

Loving you gives me the assurance that my blood flows happy in my veins.You are the most beautiful, sweet and wonderful thing that could happen to me, and I can only thank God for the implementation and you in my way with the force endurance a cascade.

I know I love you and always be aware of all this love that invades and takes over me, makes me very happy. I feel happy, you are a source of good feelings, fountain of virtue and happiness.
If the reason why I feel the way I feel on you, I can only give you all my affection and attention, by providing you share the deepest and truest love, and as I am for everything you need available. There is nothing happier in the world than requited love, and that's how I love: reciprocated, true, and for all that extremely happy.

We are still on the Indian Ocean and getting closer to our goal, and I am sure we will be spending two days in Australia.I specially in Australia, so I get a contract for the company that I have until the end of the month metal oil as I said before and after I make my way to meet with you.Please pray for me and the team members found that I can not really wait till you see my love.Am so excited

My dearest wife, it's time to say goodbye again, heaven help us to be patient as we wait for the day when we say good night; if we are in the arms and the only thing that would be between us, will be the heat of our body. I'm going to relax and think about ourselves to know that I wake up every day to a new day means that my coming is closer than the day before.

Take the best care of my baby, I love you, see you soon.

Thinking of you, love always
Lad

Today at 1:27 PM
Oh hello hello my beloved Lad,

I'm terribly sorry that I can only respond so late, but my internet was interrupted. This is due to my stupid neighbor who has dug a pond in the garden and shredded my cable with his bucket
I had to wait for a technician for two days, but now everything works fine again.
As a countermeasure, I'm going to slit his front tires open, then he can even see for himself what a bad feeling it is to be willing, but unable!!
I've gotten rid of my party straws, my catheters are finally here, and I already feel much better!
And you really want to get married, seriously?
Even though we do not know each other personally?!
But darling, please remember that the cat has to go, is the beast still on board of the ship?
You know about my allergy, I already have enough problems!
Can you not just throw the cat over the railing, at the earliest opportunity, when darkness will fall? Then it will be gone, and everything will be fine!

I love and miss you!

your victim

Posted: Thu Sep 11, 2014 2:13 pm

OH MY GOSH!!! That email is simply hilarious! Evil Lol

Posted: Thu Sep 11, 2014 2:45 pm

That lad is pure gold...he doesn't read at all what I am writing
Cool

Posted: Fri Sep 12, 2014 12:28 pm

Quote:

12 September at 1:04 PM
My dearest wife,

How are you today? I think you are fine as always? Sorry for not answering your e-mails is the reason that our ship have developed a major problem in the Indian Ocean and the Brain Box of the vessel have also be affected and we are working on seriously, so that the ship does not get washbasin .

Please pray for me and the crew members who do not happen to us, as everyone is now confused and we have contacted the rescue teams already.This is the first time the experience this kind of problem after so many years. As for the cat I do as you said, because my first wife, your wish is my command.

Do not get panic because I do not believe so much in God that nothing will happen to us take best care of yourself and know that whatever to condition I am now my love for you will continue to grow, and I can wait to see you.
Lots of love

12 September at 2:22 PM
Hello Schnuckiputz,

oh my goodness, those are not really good news!
Thank you that you have finally solved the problem with the cat,
I already feel much better, and my rash is already slightly decreasing!
What's wrong with your ship going, and what is a brain box? Can your ship think?
Or maybe you mean Black Box, that's what always remains when a plane crashes or a ship goes down, right?
Can you swim?
I've heard that there are a lot of dangerous fish, sharks, whales and Geviltefische, and poisonous jellyfish in the Indian Ocean! So take good care of yourself if you might develop the spontaneous desire to go swimming!
Where exactly are you now, and from where will the rescue teams come?
How long will it take until they reach you?
I'm doing quite well, I lazed around all day long in the garden, but now the gardeners are there, and the lawn mower is just too loud, so I went into the house and have turned on the computer.
Soon I'm going to watch TV a bit, I have found the most amazing shopping channel, having the craziest things on offer. I have been seeking for a long time for a noble guillotine for breakfast eggs, and they actually have one on offer, made from 585er gold, with Swarovski crystals. The blade is made of platinum, and if you put the breakfast egg onto the small wooden board and the mechanism is actuated, the blade whizzes down and beheads the egg. The decapitated piece then falls into a small basket made of silver, plus there are 6 silver egg spoons.
I think it's really full mega-funny!

If I have time, I will turn on N24 news channel later, they always have the most interesting news! Who knows, maybe they might show your ship!

I love you very much, take care of yourself!

Victim

Posted: Fri Sep 12, 2014 3:04 pm

...what is a brain box? Can your ship think?...

Top of the hill
Laughing

Posted: Sat Sep 13, 2014 1:17 pm

Aaahhhh, now we are getting down to it: Pirates!

Quote:

13 September um 9:09 AM

My Dearest Wife

Thanks for your kind heart and prayers.I did not want to tell you the present situation here before so that you will not be worried about me, but there is nothing I can do any more than to tell you and What ever situation I found my self I always give Glory to God.

We've done all we could to put the brain box of the ship and the pump in order but to no avail, and beside we just received information from the Signal house that there are sea pirates from Indonesia blocking the sea. They are about 312 KM away from us and the nearest place for this Ship to anchor is Lebuan Island somewhere in Malaysia.

My Love,as it is now, we are no longer safe because we fear the pirates attack because the ship is very slow now. We have called for a rescue team but we are yet to get a response from our headquarters

The captains of the Ship have announced that all passengers should offload their goods for another means of transportation as the SHIP will duck here for another 15 days until its safe to continue sailing.

My Dearest Wife my problem now is, my money ( 34,000 ) Great British pounds which I kept in my cabin safe box and some valuables. I do not want it stolen from me in the event of any attack.My plan was to use this money to buy Metal oil in drums from Australia and supply to a company I already had contract agreement with as I told you before.

Honey, as the Director of Operation in this Ship, it’s not possible for me to move along with the passenger because I have to take care of this ship until all GOODS/PRODUCT are completely discharged.

Now there are so many security company stands at the sea shore and I am thinking of what to do?and at this time I need you to stand by me .. I don't know what to do now ; I want to quickly send you the money so that you can help me to secure it in your place until I have the chance to make my trip and meet you soonest.I know we have not met each other but I TRUST you and give you my whole heart so that life can move straight with us and i know you will never disappoint or halt me because we are already two in one flesh .I have learned to take life as it happens as I remember everything happens for a reason.

I will discussed with one of the security company here.They will proceed delivery immediately I get a confirmation from you to assist me in receiving this money because there is no bank here and I don't want to loose the money to sea pirates because I know how I suffered for it.

My love, quickly forward to me your information as follows to enable me send the money to you immediately through a secured security company,

Your Full Name:
Your Receiving Address:
Your Email Address:
Phone number:

I am sitting by the sea shore now and waiting for your quick reply.Please I need your prayers this time because we are in a state of confusion praying that nothing happens to us.
Thanks for you care and prayers.
Love you
Lad.

13 September at 3:10 PM
Hi Steve,

why have you written in English? I had to translate everything, that took quite some time!
Oh my goodness, that sounds awful, the Brain Box is still broken?
And pirates are also there in the neighborhood?
There was nothing in in news about something like that, and I have been watching for hours!!
Well, maybe they just keep it secret in order to protect you, who knows.
I know know nothing about pirates, are they dangerous?
But if they are still more than 300 km away from you and you are already on this island, then there is no reason to wet your pants, right? Do you have a weapon to protect yourself?
And you have so much cash with you? I think that's pretty reckless, and you are really very lucky that there happen to be so many security companies on the beach of this remote island!
Schnuckiputz what you mean, you want to send me all the money?
Here is my address:
Victim
Marienstr. 10
D-45575 Castrop-Rauxel
My cell phone number is 0160xxxxx6283, but please remember, I can not speak much English, I'm going to need an interpreter!

When will your rescue team arrive? This can surely not take too long, right?
I will make myself a juicy ground beef hedgehog and sit down in front of the TV, maybe there will be a report about you and your ship!!

I love and miss you!

Posted: Mon Sep 15, 2014 8:25 pm

This lad is some cute..... I have called him from my Skype 2 days ago, but of course there was hardly any communication possible, because his "dearest wife" does not speak any English. I will try to set up a phone call tomorrow with the help of Robert Heinrich, acting as an official translator of the German Telecom, in a conference call. This could get some funny....
As far as the money is concerned, Glob@l Secur1ty somehow rings a bell here; it is either coincidence, or not my first encounter, we will see

Quote:

Today at 3:17 PM
My dearest wife

Thanks for your prayers.I so much trust you and I know you will never disappoint even more so when we are already in a meat two favorite me, pray for me, as the situation here is getting worst and we are still waiting hear of the rescue team.

I sent you the money. It is 34,000 British pounds (£ 34,000) by GLOBAL SECURITY company.I even there some of my most important documents, contract documents.This an independent security company in the ship here, which are in charge of handling of cargo and other shipments. You have just because of the situation evacuated from the ship it here

They told me they will contact you for delivery if they came during the day Malaysia because they. No establishment in GERMANY, except Malaysia I never trust anyone trust in my life, this money in his / her hand, but I so much you trust

My dearest wife, be careful with the money, it's part of the savings I for 2 years. I have it, so the company is not known for how my family and personal effects, which in broadcast so do not say because I do not trust anyone but you. it is not to scan or open, is that you can open it as you get it

My love, I have the Air way bill and certificate of deposit because they demand it of you if they get GERMANY, have paid before delivery to the International you.I fees in the ship here to send the shipment to you mounted, I also ask if you do not pay fees, to receive it there, but they told me you are only going to pay local taxes for Malaysia to ensure that their establishment in Malaysia deliver the shipment to your door in GERMANY, I wanted pay, but they told me that it had its office in Malaysia paid because they do not know the exact amount, because their office in Malaysia must be pay government taxes and local bills for Malaysia.

Honey the unlock code number is 6622 please keep it secret. I will very soon, as soon as I get through with this problem and get to Australia. God help us and please pray for me. I have not slept since yesterday, and we are still working in the engine room. Please honey, as soon as they deliver to you, open the box and remove what you have spent and the rest until I have come across in your account.

My love, please copy the shipping code number and keep it a secret for security reasons. Scan and photostat the Air Way Bill receipt. They are there you must also prove that you are the rightful recipient of the box. Honey pray for my safety, so that I can overcome this problem by his grace. We are still working very hard, now, to keep the ship to arrive to floating rescue team.
The company is a diplomatic security company, and no one will be questioned until they get to your destination and so do not fear, for I will never be in trouble.

Love you so
much and Kisses
I love you
Lad.

15 September at 10:18 PM
Good evening Lad,

oh you holy sacred canon pipe, you want to send me all your money?
More than 34,000.00 British pounds?
Good Lord, I've never seen so much money on one stack!
And what are you going to pay your metal oil with if you send me all your money?
Schnuckiputz, that was very careless of you to take so much cash with you when traveling to such an unsafe location! Don't you have no credit cards or checks?

Are the pirates still near you, and have the rescue team already floated in?
Or are you still in danger?
I'm so worried, and I was really relieved to get your letter today!

And how will this now be going on, now comes a Malaysian, diplomatic security service to my house and brings the money, or have I misunderstood you?
Oh dear, I have never experienced something like that in my entire life!
Real diplomats from Malaysia?
How can I talk to those people, what kind of language do they speak at all?
And when will they come since I must clean up my house before they will arrive!
I think I'll bake a plum pie with cinnamon, do you think they might like that?
If they should not like plums, then please tell me in advance notice, I can take cherries or apricots the instead!
Do these gentlemen like whipped cream?

Oh, I'm so excited!

I love and miss you!

Posted: Mon Sep 15, 2014 11:37 pm

Robert Heinrich has just confirmed his availability for that "German Telecom Conference Love Talk"....we will do it tomorrow night, and we will hopefully get an entertaining recording
Cool

Posted: Tue Sep 16, 2014 10:24 pm

It has happened....thank you very much, Robert Heinrich, and of course Kitty LaGore for the recording. There is a little prep talk in the beginning, and then, when the lad joins in, one realizes easily that he did not check out at once who he was was talking too at all. Then things got funny....and we will do it again tomorrow night, until then finally Robert will chop the guy.
And no...... I was of course NOT really crying, I was just kind of trying hard to mask my giggling attacks, because I was not muted
Cool

http://www.4shared.com/mp3/f1gA2Gecce/MG_German_Love_Conference_Call.html

Posted: Wed Sep 17, 2014 6:45 am

Mail from the Security company....a pretty snotty tone! I will certainly have an issue with my Darling later tonight!

Quote:

Security Gsc
An
Ich
Heute um 5:00 AM

Urgent Attention..Madam , GLOBAL SECURITY COMPANY

ADDRESS.......Marienstr.10 D-45575 Castrop- Rauxel, Germany.

PHONE NO...+160-9xxxxxx283 +447873493633 <----?? I wonder where that number comes from, I didn't give it to him!

we write to inform you that this company is not happy with the development of matters as regards the delivery of your package.You had wanted to put this company and yourself into a serious problem if not because of the quick intervention of the company director and beside you would have lost your package.This company does not transfer money,we only deliver goods and services.You would have told us the content of your package is money otherwise we know how to bit the customs.We have done it for our customers when they declare the content to us and the company will declare it as company fund for investment

Our delivery officers were highly embarrassed at the Malaysia international Airport. A scanning was carried out by the customs and it was discovered that what you have in your package was some money.

beside I am a mother and at least you would have put me in confidence otherwise you had wanted to put yourself in serious problem, they would charge you for money laundry and other related offenses like sponsoring terrorism and you know fully well what is happening all over the world now.

However,after much negotiations with the top custom officials and the company management,they told us that before they could release your package to us that we should give them your personal information, but We refuse because we know the implication and given them your information means you will be in serious problem and our customers are always our first priority. so you are to pay some of 750 Euro .to enable us to settle them.So we can deliver to your door step.

You are to make the payment through western union with below information.
NAME...........MERLITA MULE
ADDRESS.......Kuala Kumpur
COUNTRY......Malaysia
And email us the Mtcn No.

Thanks
GSC Security Company Malaysia.

ipTRACKERonline.com wrote:

Header Analysis Quick Report Originating IP: 123.136.106.237 Originating ISP: U Mobile Sdn Bhd City: Kepong Country of Origin: Malaysia * For a complete report on this email header goto ipTRACKERonline

Security Gsc
17 September at 8:08 AM
Good day,

I am almost speechless, regarding the outrageously snotty tone of your message!
Tell me, please, are not ticking quite right?
Absolutely UNACCEPTABLE, I will complain and tell that to my husband!
Is it my fault when my husband makes a false declaration?
And why the heck would it concern me that you are a mother?
Stupid cow!
And why should I pay you € 750 now?
Because my husband has made a mistake?
Oh great!
One thing I can say is that a payment through Western Union is totally out of the question.
I pay all my bills by bank transfer only.
Send me your bank details and I'll transfer the money.
And when writing to me next time, you better watch your words!

Regards, Victim

Quote:

Lad
September 16 at 5:12 PM

Hi honey how are you, I hope you are fine? I want to tell you that you will get the box weneday as tomorrow, please code to send you act wisely, I'll meet you there soon for us to start our future, kisses you all
Steve.

No answer....we will have to talk later.

Posted: Wed Sep 17, 2014 8:02 pm

OINK OINK.....fresh pork from Malaysia

Quote:

Security Gsc
17 September um 2:10 PM
Hello Good Day Madam
,
Please with due maximum respect,I'm only doing my work and also trying to help you and your Husband, I respect you but you don't need to insult me and the Company,
Here is the information for the account
ACCOUNT NAME: MERLITA MULE
ACCOUNT NO:1414xxxxx528.
SWIFT CODE: CIBBMYKL
ADDRESS: KUALA LUMPUR MALAYSIA

GSC Security Company +60163927270

Quote:

17 September at 7:24 PM

Hello my dear angel,
How are you, I hope great? Frankly, after your call last night, almost a 4:00 here, you know, I went back to sleep and began to dream, I dreamed, as we are wedding and many kisses, my love Please stop crying your lovely Steve Dave promise be with you very soon. All I need from you is your prayer you kisses all over

Lad

Posted: Wed Sep 17, 2014 8:23 pm

Quote:

I respect you but you don't need to insult me and the Company,

Oh boy, does this lad have a lot to learn. Wink

Posted: Wed Sep 17, 2014 9:38 pm

Indeed, he will have to......lol.
After a long prep discussion with Robert Heinrich there is reason to believe that the Lad is really in Malaysia. We called him again tonight....another German Telecom Romance Translation Service at $ 2,60 per minute, paid by the victim, performed by Robert Heinrich again, and today it worked just fine. We tried to make him speak German....he did...... and he proposed me!
OH MY GOD, the wedding bells are ringing eventually!

Enjoy: http://www.4shared.com/mp3/AZXVRbypce/Lad_learns_his_first_steps_in_.html
Cool

Edit: The German sentence the Lad was supposed to speak out to me was actually picked up by Robert by random, it was a Skype advertisement, saying something like: "Good calling rates for cell phones available....you cannot expect to call for free"

Posted: Mon Sep 22, 2014 10:32 am

We had quite some fun with this Lad when we called him on the phone. Now he knows that due to our serious communication problem, Mr Heinrich of German Telecom Romance Services will have to move in with us, once my Lad will get back here to marry me.

http://www.4shared.com/mp3/ko7dsgezce/2014_09_19__Three_of_us_in_thi.html

He gave me another piggie....thank you, Baby!

Quote:

Lad
September 20 at 5:46 AM

Hello, ,
How are you, and how your night was? I hope you sleep like a new born baby,
Favorite You know, I dreamed when I fuck you in my dream so awesome, honey I want to tell you that I'm jealous and not happy that you pay each time to call me while your husband is here in need of money, now I want to write 2,250 Euro for me, since I am now in the country no money for nothing remember accommodate in a hotel or taxi, and you know that I do not anyone or know of any place here, you can try and send the western union or bank transfer in another country Philippines can do, Account name: Merlita MULE, account no: 0106xxxxx27, Bank Name: Maybank, Swift code MBBEPHMM, address: 54 Bayan Bayanan Avenue, Concepcion Uno, Marikina City, Philippines.
And also give me your phone number, I'm really in love with you, I'll love you to death, here is my Dick image.

Kiss all over

September 21 at 7:12 PM
Hello Schnuckiputz,

oh, thanks for the picture .... this looks really good, now I really have something to look forward too!
I could freak out when I think of you!
Schatzi, today and tomorrow I will not call you, I must watch my money because this service is really expensive!
I love you very much, and I'm full of burning desire!
I will go to the bank tomorrow and transfer the money as soon as the security service has sent me a copy of the identity card of the account holder
Oh my darling, now I will just make me a ground beef hedgehog, and then I will go to bed early tonight, somehow I'm dog tired!

I love you, and I kiss your whole body!

Posted: Mon Sep 22, 2014 7:33 pm

I have no clue whether this pass port is fake or not, but both piggies provided are in her name.

http://www.4shared.com/download/kGJiYAeHba/National_id_card_Merlita_Sena.jpg?lgfp=3000

Quote:

Security Gsc
22 September at 3:38 PM
This message contains blocked images.

Hello ,
How are you, I hope you are fine have dealings,
Her husband gives us a notification that you need an ID
of Merlita, Here is the attachment and please make you have to make this payment to be in other safe side, Thanks

GSC Security Company

to
Security Gsc
22 September at 9:30 PM
Good evening over there,

I have transferred the money today, but can not send the document today, because I have no scanner.
I have to go to town sometime tomorrow and find a computer store where they can do it for me.
I will send you the receipt as soon as I will be back home!

Good night

Posted: Mon Sep 22, 2014 7:51 pm

My sweet Baby has sent another email, too. He no longer mentions the 34.000 GBP he plans to send me.....he is sick now. I wonder whether there is a hospital or a doctor at all on that small island where his ship got stuck...and didn't he tell me something like he's not allowed to leave the ship? Hm...

Quote:

Lad
22 September at 6:16 PM

Hello my angel of my life,

How are you, honey, I'm sick need to go to the hospital,
And I do not have money with me here, I'm still waiting for you to send money, honey, you do not need to be delayed in sending money, so I get there and get married and leave our life the way you want, and our honey moon. I send my cock, so that you can be happy, you can also send me your pussy, I'm really sick honey, kisses all over

lovely husband

22 September at 9:46 PM
Hello Schnuckiputz, good evening!

I'm sorry to hear that you are sick! What did you do?
And why do you have no money? That's nonsense, you've got the £ 34,000, or not? Can not you take some of that?
Is there ever a doctor or a hospital on this funny little island ?
Just be very careful when you undergo any medical treatment there! Who knows if the staff is well trained at all!
Do not wet your pants, Schatzi, I have transferred the money today, but what good is that when the money ends up in the Philippines? How would you be able to access this money?
That's all so complicated! Schnuckiputz, Thank you for your picture; unfortunately I can not offer you anything, because such pictures of me do not exist, and I can't ask my neighbors to take some, that would be too embarrassing, you understand, right?
I love you very much!
Good night![/quote]

Posted: Tue Sep 23, 2014 10:51 am

The security company wants a transfer slip, too. Unfortunately there is a mistake in the account number, so the money will bounce back

Quote:

Security Gsc
23 September at 5:22 AM

Hello and good day

Compliment of the season, your message has been read and found
We would like you asked and how much did you pay? And we are also waiting for the scanning of the payment slip for us, Have a nice day before.

GSC Security Company.

An Security Gsc
23 September at 12:40 PM

Good day,

I have just come back home and have the document now as a file, so I can send it to you.
Can you imagine that I had to pay € 5 for it?

regards

Quote:

Lad
23 September at 3:49 AM

Hello my love,
How are you, I hope you are doing great are?
Please do not misunderstand me, I never getting my box since I got off the water because the company insist that I, that payment before the field to do to free myself, This is the main reason why I have no money have, remember me darling, what are we talking about, here is our future, or you can come in Malaysia?
And how much have you paid my love, I also want to tell you how much I love you and appreciate you, till death do us part my beautiful.

Kiss all over

23 September at 12:49 PM
Good morning Lad,

of course I have transferred the money, € 2,250, exactly as you said.
But I'm still not quite sure how it can help you much in your situation, because the money will soon be in the Philippines, and you are in Malaysia!
How is that supposed to work?
How are you doing, what does the doctor says, you already know what exactly what the diagnosis isl?
Schnuckiputz, I will write to you later, I now have no more time!
I have to attend my weekly massage, and then I will get my nails done!

Talk to you you later, I love you more than anything!

Posted: Tue Sep 23, 2014 9:38 pm

Quote:

Lad
23 September at 9:07 PM

Hello my wife,

'm Not really good the doctor said that they perform
Operation for me by Thursday or Friday, I'm with the Hospital St.
To write to you, and a nurse helps me doctor said breeze enter into my lungs because of the long time that I was in the high seas, For the money you sent to Philippines the company GSC Security told me she have offices in Philippines, once the money they reflect let me know, I'm here thinking about you you are missing a lot of my beautiful angel, what can I do without you, our love until death do us part , kisses all over

her husband

to Lad
23 September at 11:17 PM
Oh Lad,

now I'm already so worried about again that I will burst into tears, I can feel it already!
How is it that you were allowed to leave the ship now?
Are the pirates finally gone?
And what disease is it that you've caught you, what did the doctor say?
Hopefully no gonorrhea or syphilis or something?
Schnuckiputz, what is the name of the hospital?
Can I call you there?
If so, then I will sign up for another call with you tomorrow evening!
I just saw that I got a mail from GSC. I've probably made a mistake in the account number and messed up two digits, the money will surely to come back to me!
Unfortunately I have not enough money in my account to get it transferred again tomorrow, for the German Telecom has debited my account for the first three telephone conversations with Mr. Heinrich's translation service, which was quite expensive!
But you're worth it to me, Schatzi, I love you so much!
Be a good boy and take your medications, and get healthy for me as soon as possible!
I will now make myself a ground beef hedgehog, along with 2 or 3 hot Jägermeister with whipped cream, and then it's off to bed!

I love you!
10000 kisses

Quote:

Security Gsc
23 September at 9:31 PM

Hello Madam,
How are you I hope well, we please just by the payment slip that you provide us with the required maximum respect we sent notice that you make a mistake in this account number, please we advise you to go and fix here is the account number 01069xxxxx27 re-write it that way thanks.

GSC Security Company

to Security Gsc
23 September at 11:34 PM
Dear Ladies and Gentlemen,

oh, how embarrassing!
You know , I didn't have my glasses on, and my eye sight has become really bad since my diabetes has gotten worse, I see only very bad!
I need to correct my mistake of course, but unfortunately I'll have to wait until the money has come back again, because I do not have enough money in my account to make a second payment tomorrow.
Can you not help my husband out with an advanced payment?

His health condition is very bad, because if I understood him correctly, he suffers from a salt-water-related genital corrosion, and that must be itching like hell!

Thank you, regards