English not your first laguage? Here is a puppy lad for you.

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Posted: Tue Jun 03, 2014 5:28 pm

Latest from the sheeper, back-translated from Portuguese:

Quote:

We want you to know that you are doing Western Union bank transfer, therefore, when you are in the occidental union to say to the occidental persons of the union that you want to make bank transfer that is the money in question* of minutes and ask them the form* of send.

*questão, não pergunta
*forma. The right word is "formulário", which he used in the next paragraph, but the computer doesn't know the difference.

419Eater is my life Joined: 26 Jan 2014 Posts: 262

My dogs are at the sheeper as well. I am stuck on an oil rig off the Angolan coast so I have asked my boyfriend (a Welsh fisherman from the seaport of Wrexham) to arrange for the shipment of Herpes and Chlamydia to Jose Mourinho in Luanda. Hupkings is willing to speak Welsh as well:

Quote:

Ie am gŵn ef eisiau prynu cŵn oddi wrthyf fi ac mae ef yn talu ffi'r
cludo felly oedd ef roi eich cyfeiriad y daliad arno chi bydd talu'r
arian rhy?? ydych chi'n ysgrifennu Saesneg?

(basically "send me the money")

Posted: Wed Jun 04, 2014 12:29 am

Quote:

ydych chi'n ysgrifennu Saesneg?

He is, of course, but with the usual African errors which turn into nonsense in translation. (mi na se bangu lo mraigo, but I do understand the last sentence and the words "arian" and "cŵn".) The latest message has the English text the lad typed appearing when I hover the mouse over the Portuguese.

My reply:

Quote:

I don't know what is an occidental shop of the union. If you want me to make the payment tomorrow morning, give me a bank account so that I can do the transfer on line. It's the one and only way to do it. We're fishing in the Atlantic Ocean and can't get out of the boat to look for a shop of which I've never heard.

419Eater is my life Joined: 26 Jan 2014 Posts: 262

I pressed lad to tell me exactly where in UK he is with the dogs and he came back with (what he thinks) will be a difficult place for me to get to - the Isle of Man. Probably nowhere more convenient for a Welsh fisherman to go to pick up the dogs in person - as suggested below:

Quote:

Perffaith! Yr wyf yn pysgota ym Môr Iwerddon. Gallaf gasglu'r cŵn o Ynys Manaw unrhyw adeg hon yr wythnos. Hapus i dalu eich 320 Euros mewn Arian pan fyddaf yn eu codi. Bydd Kevin yn dod i fyw gyda mi yng Nghymru pan ddaw ei gontract yn Angola i ben mewn dau fis er mwyn i mi edrych ar ôl y cŵn tan hynny.

Great - he's now really upset with me (but he still replied in Welsh)...

Quote:

Fuck you and tell kevin to cancel the transaction and there will be people to never e-mailed me anymore. I will go back to the pet supply agency and get my dogs back at home and looking for someone to be around. When someone asks you to do something next time if you can not doing so let the person know not to fuck up his baster transaction. fuck you

Posted: Wed Jun 04, 2014 5:19 pm

I've suggested the same thing, but it would take me several days to go there in a boat. The sheeper tells me to go to the bank and send money by WU. I can't do that till Friday, when I go home from fishing, and the bank doesn't do Western Union.

Posted: Thu Jun 05, 2014 4:39 pm

Has anyone heard anything more? The last message I got was a day ago from the sheeper and ended with "or you have money dusts grass scriptorium there?". I have no idea where "dusts" comes from.

419Eater is my life Joined: 26 Jan 2014 Posts: 262

114 e-mails later I think Hupkings has given up on me.

Posted: Sun Jun 08, 2014 3:11 am

He's not given up on me:

Quote:

We do not accept the bank transfer, you have to go back to ask an any post office* to tell them that you want to make an occidental transfer of the union.

and do it there

*Literally, mail station.

Problems with that:
*We have to go back out to fish on Sunday, and the post office is closed.
*What's an occidental transfer of the union? (The lad hasn't figured out about capitalization.) Do you mean a money order? But Shrimpland does not accept American money orders. (Neither does Australia, which resulted years ago in my first, only, and legitimate use of an occidental transfer of the union.)

Posted: Sun Jun 08, 2014 7:53 am

I finally got your Shrimpland joke Laughing

Camarón is a very Latin American word, I use Gamba.

Posted: Sun Jun 08, 2014 8:54 am

The country was, in fact, named for the crustacean, specifically Lepidophthalmus turneranus.

Posted: Mon Jun 09, 2014 2:22 pm

Caitlin wrote:

Tell them that you desire to transfer the money to the Africa Cameroon

I wrote:

I won't be able to go to the post office until probably Friday, but I can do a bank transfer at any time.

I used the Galician word for Friday to confuse him. (Galician and Portuguese are essentially the same language, but Portuguese uses numbers for five days of the week, while Galician uses the same words as other Romance languages.)

Posted: Thu Jun 12, 2014 9:52 pm

After a few days, I finally got a response — in Spanish.

Quote:

we would like to know how much you want to transfer to our bank account?

Sorry that we have been so busy

I was going to answer tomorrow, after visiting the post office, that I can't send money to Cameroon from there. But as the lad has apparently forgotten how much money he's charging for the puppy, I'll have to look it up.

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