“I am Nobody here. I am Nothing” S@fari Hotels SAFARI

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Posted: Tue May 06, 2014 11:55 pm

I was delighted to assist Dr Mike with this Safari.

Quote:

“This is very disappointing”
“I stayed with a guy that I met on the bus”
“I never got this type of experience before”
“The taxi carry me all around; he charge me a huge lot of money”
“I have to go on the internet. I was looking at the map. I saw the Military Camp but I couldn’t see a hotel”
“I never hear from you. I kept emailing Mr Smith back and forth, riding moto taxis all over town, searching for S@fari Hotel, no one knows it”
“The military guy I met there, he told me that something like this happened before. Someone came from Ghana looking for your Hotel but it cannot be located”

Background: Dr Mike decides to Safari the same Oga (Mr Kujo) for a third time: http://forum.419eater.com/forum/viewtopic.php?p=2054345#2054345 Kujo’s Gold Lad (Mr Johnson) is despatched to S@fari Hotel Bouake, Cote d’Ivoire. Geoffrey, Manager of SH Bouake agrees with Kujo that he will have his Deputy Mr Randy drive down to collect Mr Johnson from Abidjan and bring him safely to the Hotel. Inexplicably, the pick-up fails and Johnson is left to pay for a Hotel room that night and the next morning make his own way hundreds of miles north to Bouake. On arrival, Johnson is subjected to days of torment and utter misery, wandering the streets in a country where he does not speak the language, squandering almost all of his remaining money on fruitless wild goose chases in taxis, food, and water.

Ready? Sit back, relax, and enjoy the cream of the phone calls, edited down into one track:

http://yourlisten.com/MrPr1cky/sh-bouake-may-14-compilation-edit

NB: Thanks to Ed Shanks (ASkinner) for the soundbytes from his Barrister Kone Safari, used on the Lad whilst in Abidjan.

Posted: Wed May 07, 2014 12:37 am

Posted: Wed May 07, 2014 1:33 am

Posted: Wed May 07, 2014 1:35 am

Great stuff TM, et. al. It was perfect timing on the recording.

(Thanks to Ed Shanks (ASkinner) for the soundbytes from his Barrister Kone Safari, used on the Lad whilst in Abidjan.) My pleasure!

Posted: Wed May 07, 2014 4:16 am

Great stuff. After the lad said that he was going back I called the oga, mr Kujo. And he informed me that he was rather disappointed that this deal would once again go up on flames. He also said mr Johnson would depart later that day. So I told him to have Johnson to stay put as mr Randy would come and give him the $.
I will post this call tonight as there is some anger from the oga when I call him and his man incompetent for not finding the hotel. He really hated that word.
And after that TM will post some of the more explosive calls I have had the pleasure of being involved in. They include:

Lads screaming at TM that he should arrest me.

Randy pulling out a gun and...well, I really shouldn't spoil this.

A lad crying over the phone.

Believe me, the best part is still to come.

Posted: Wed May 07, 2014 5:41 am

Forked lad wrote:

The military guy I met there, he told me that something like this happened before. Someone came from Ghana looking for your Hotel but it cannot be located

Just beautiful. Laughing

Posted: Wed May 07, 2014 6:45 am

Emailing lads back and forth with their no moral concept or compassion for victims you two keep me fighting.

Thanks and keep up the lad pain.

Quote:

Wasted his money

Scammed money.

Baiting Guru Joined: 10 Oct 2010 Posts: 3877

is there a way to get in touch with that military base?

I guess, they don't like scammers very much, and could assist at sending lads around.

maybe there is a military test ground close by?

and yes, the military base is technically an ITP, but they have firearms Twisted Evil

Posted: Wed May 07, 2014 8:52 am

I suppose that ivorean soldiers know what to do with anglophone guymen without us telling them Twisted Evil

. Besides, once TM and I spent hours trying to locate a telephone for this camp with zero results.

Baiting Guru Joined: 10 Oct 2010 Posts: 3877

how about a simple letter sent to that base?

can't be that expensive...

Posted: Wed May 07, 2014 10:18 am

TM and Dr. Mike, kudos for a hilarious wild goose chase around Bouake! I wonder if the previous Ghanan was Choppah and my lad who had a similar problem locating the hotel?

Posted: Wed May 07, 2014 11:25 am

Hasn't this lad heard of TripAdvisor? Laughing

Posted: Wed May 07, 2014 11:48 am

Capone wrote:

TM and Dr. Mike, kudos for a hilarious wild goose chase around Bouake! I wonder if the previous Ghanan was Choppah and my lad who had a similar problem locating the hotel?

It could have been. It it might just as well be Mr Camara that we sent there less than two weeks ago. It has been a busy few weeks for the hotel with three would be customers. To bad none of them found it.

Posted: Wed May 07, 2014 1:00 pm

SoundCloud says - Sorry! We can't find that track.

Sad

where is it? I'm keen to listen.

Posted: Wed May 07, 2014 1:11 pm

^ It's ok for me. Maybe the lad broke soundcloud's whine filters? Laughing

Posted: Wed May 07, 2014 5:50 pm

I promised a call for you earlier this morning (my time).

Bob was rather pissed off and gave the oga back in South Africa some rants, and the oga returned the favour. This just after the lad left Bouake, and after the angry words it was decided that Mr Smith would come down to Abidjan and deliver the money himself.

http://www.4shared.com/mp3/gqkfsjWmce/Bob_is_pissed_05_41_PM_Sunday_.html?

Posted: Wed May 07, 2014 5:55 pm

It would be a hoot if several lads, who don't know each other, met up on their journeys to find the hotel. it would make it seem like the hotel was "real" because others have tried to find it!

That this lad was told that there was another from Ghana trying to find the hotel probably eased his mind a bit and didn't feel so stupid for not finding it, as others have come and became lost as well.

I need to find my earphones so I can listen to the calls. TM and friends phone calls are always gut busters! Evil Lol

Posted: Wed May 07, 2014 7:13 pm

Herrmann wrote:

SoundCloud says - Sorry! We can't find that track.

Is this still an issue, Herrmann? if so, which browser/s have you tried?

Anyone else having trouble playing the SoundCloud audio in the first Post?

Posted: Wed May 07, 2014 7:26 pm

Quote:

“The military guy I met there, he told me that something like this happened before. Someone came from Ghana looking for your Hotel but it cannot be located”

That is wonderful. Thumbs up

Posted: Wed May 07, 2014 9:49 pm

The Monsignor wrote:

Herrmann wrote:

SoundCloud says - Sorry! We can't find that track.

Is this still an issue, Herrmann? if so, which browser/s have you tried?

Anyone else having trouble playing the SoundCloud audio in the first Post?

I couldn't play it at first because apparently it was at the end of the recording. I had to click on the soundwaves and drag it back to the beginning. Then it played. Oh, I'm using Firefox (Mac)

EDIT: Actually, just clicking at the beginning of the soundwave and clicking play works. But you have to do that first. Just hitting play doesn't play it.

EDIT EDIT: Great calls TM!

Dr. Mike: Your call was great. The lad sure hates the word "incompetent." He is very protective of his bois.

He was right about one thing--you're not very nice Laughing

Master of Master Baiters Joined: 21 Nov 2012 Posts: 619

"a straightforward journey" Wink

Posted: Thu May 08, 2014 12:27 am

Quote:

“What rascal did you give phone to talk to me?!”
“He's got no respect in his head”
“Why must he speak to me in dirty languages?”
“He told me if I keep quiet, he would give me 20%”
“He has a gun. Save yourself!”

THE SCENE

1. After 5 miserable days of travelling and on the streets of Bouake, Johnson has returned to Abidjan on his way out of Cote d’Ivoire.
2. Geoffrey has agreed to drive down to Abidjan with his Deputy Mr Randy, meet Johnson at the Novotel and give him the large sum of cash representing 50% of the price of the Gold.
3. In return, Johnson will hand Geoffrey a small 5g sample of Gold dust for assaying.
4. In Sweden, the Mugu Mr Alois, and in South Africa, the Oga Mr Kujo, each look on with increasing concern.

Here it is: Hours of audio, edited down to a single, fun 30 min episode. Enjoy!

http://yourlisten.com/MrPr1cky/gunshot-in-abidjan-compilation-edit-with-music-cens
NB: A little of Randy’s language is NSFW

SMS sent by Randy to Johnson:

Quote:

[05/05/2014 2032:52] Guy dis randy.i have geoffrey phone. i know ur 419. guy u giv mi $50 000 USD bribe or i tell di white mugu i giv u all di moni. i go call u soon 4 decision.

Quote:

[05/05/2014 2050:29] u fukin greedi basta. u no wan deal wid mi? now u loss all dis cash. i go tell di fukin white mugu i giv u all di moni. he will beleif mi.

Quote:

[05/05/2014 2140:49] guy i cum 2 fin u now. i have pistol i show u sum fukin gunshort. Randy

SMS sent by Randy to Kujo:

Quote:

[05/05/2014 2203:24] i kill ur fukin white mugu and put his corpse in jeep. now i hunt ur johnson guyman lik rabies monki. i shoot him gun u fukin yahoo boi

Quote:

[05/05/2014 2206:56] guy chek mi veri well.i fin ur guyman an show him sum fukin gunshort. is mi word. oloshe, igbu nnegi, basta fool lik u

Posted: Thu May 08, 2014 1:33 am

Epic

3 gunshots are better than just saying 'Goodbye'

Posted: Thu May 08, 2014 2:39 am

This is too fun! Excellent and entertaining baiting. Solid gold.

Elite Baiter Joined: 10 Mar 2013 Posts: 1486

Nice sound effects. I bet that took some practice to pull off.

BTW. Who does Mr. Randy's voice? Sometimes it is pretty convincing African accent but sometimes it is more like Russian.

But it is awesome anyway.

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