A Dashing Experience (Game Over) [Triple trophy and piggy]

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Posted: Fri Apr 04, 2014 2:20 pm

Finally got around to compiling this. I should've done this while it was ongoing, but I got lazy. Not as lazy as this ladette and her lawyer lads (who were probably both "her"). The e-mails might get a bit disjointed after a while, but the way they sent them means the e-mails were all over the place. I've done my best to keep them coherent, but I got very confused at some points.

In this, I take on the name Rainbow Dash from My Little Pony. Why? Because ponies. And not once is this name ever questioned.

It starts thusly. (My comments/thoughts in italics.)

Quote:

N4NCY BUGIB4
Subject: HELLO DEAR
----------
My name is nancy
Good everning dear
EMAIL - [email protected]
DATE - 02-09-2013
My name is nancy, I am a girl, single and never married, I came across your e-mail contacts today, Google Search, searching and browsing for friendship and partner
I am very loving and caring girl with bright future.you can contact me with My address ([email protected]) so we can know each other better
Best Regard,
nancy
([email protected])

It's really not necessary to have your e-mail address plastered all over the e-mail. I know how to hit "Reply". Unlike my ex-pet, as you'll see.

Quote:

RAINBOW DASH
Subject: Re: HELLO DEAR
----------
Hey there! I'm more into stallions, but I'm not against some mare-on-mare. Tell me more. Maybe we could get some trolling going on! Wink

Quote:

NANCY
Subject: HONEY AM waiting for your mail,
----------

Dearest one.

I am more than happy in your urgent reply to my mail. How was your day hope getting on smoothly as for me its hot over here in Dakar Senegal now. My name is N4ncy Bugib4 Duk3 am 24years of age from Côte d'Ivoire in west Africa.

Am residing in the refugee camp here in Dakar Senegal as a result of war in my country which took away my family. My late father's name is (late Dr Bugiba Duke) he was the an international businessman and the owner of Midwest cocoa company before the rebels kill him together with my mother Mrs Blessing Bugiba Duke my late father was also the chairman of timber export company during his time in the office. i was only person that survived in my family and i managed to make my way to near by country Senegal where i now as a refugee.

I would like to know more about you, Your likes and dislikes,your hobbies and what you are presently doing for a living I will tell more about myself in my next mail and i strongly believe the future will tell i have attached my photo to you i will be earnestly waiting to hear from you my love have a nice day.
your dearest love
Nancy.

(Yes, the chicken emote was actually there.)

----------

Quote:

RAINBOW
Subject: Re: HONEY AM waiting for your mail,
----------
*Click* Noice.

You wanna know my likes and stuff? Alright, let's get to it:

Likes:
Money.
The Wonderbolts. They're huge celebrities over here in Equestria. You've probably never heard of them. But I wanna join them! I will join them one day!
My friends and their plots; Twilight Sparkle (egghead librarian, pretty cute), Pinkie Pie (party animal, also pretty cute), Fluttershy (timid and quiet, very cute), Rarity (fashionista, smokin' hot), and Applejack (farmgirl, tomboyishly cute).
Scootaloo, my biggest fan, heh.
Reading.
Napping.
And last, but definitely not least, flying!

Dislikes:
Liars.
Cheaters.
Dishonest flankholes.
Not being able to fly.
People who are mean to my friends.

Hobbies:
Reading.
Flying around, doing stunts (Wonderbolts practice).
Playing pranks with Pinkie Pie.

As for my job, I'm a Weather Patroller (First Class).

How's about you?

Yeah, could've wrote any old crap, but on the off-chance the ladette reads it, it might help.

So anyway, onto the next part of the script.

Quote:

NANCY
Subject: HONEY THIS IS LIFE STORY WITH TRUST.
----------

Good day my love,

(Nothing says love like roses and chickens.)
thanks for your mail,i will like to have a good relationship with you,Well i am Miss N4ncy Bugib4 Duk3 from Côte d'Ivoire, the only daughter of late Dr Bugiba Duke My father is now late, my father was killed in the present on going war in my country (Côte d'Ivoire) alongside my mother and my entire family and all his properties was totally destroyed.However,after their death I managed to escape with the help of a private charity organization that is being owned by the church to Dakar Senegal here in west Africa,where i live now as a refugee in the refugee camp,the refugee camp is managed by the church with a Reverend Father David James as the camp coordinator and care taker of every thing that happens here in the refugee camp. he has been very nice to me since I came here but I am not living with him rather I live in the female's hostel because the camp has two hostels one for men the other for women and its just like one staying in the prison and I hope by God's grace,I will come out here soon.

As a refugee here,I don't have any right or privilege to anything be it money or whatever because it is against the law of this country.I want to go back to my education because i only attended my first year before the tragic incident that led to the death of my parents took place.

My father was an international wealthy business man,and the owner of midwest cocoa company, he was chairman of timber export company during his time in the office, with branches in Ghana and Abidjan (capital of Côte D'Ivoire my country).My father was unlucky to be among those that was killed by the rebel.

The main reason why I am contacting you now is to seek your assistance in the area of my future .I have my late father's death certificate here with me which I will send to you later,and There is this huge amount of Three million Seven Hundred thousand U.S dollar ($3,700,000.00) which my late Father Deposited with my name in the leading bank in Europe for an investment purposes before he was assassinated in the present on going war in my country, and he made me the next of kin.

So I will like you to help me transfer this money to your account and from it you can send some money for me to get my traveling documents and air ticket to come over to meet with you.I kept this secret from people in the camp here the only person that knows about it is the Reverend because he is like a father to me.So in the light of above i will like you to keep it to yourself and don't tell it to anyone for i am afraid of loosing my life and the money if people gets to know about it.I will like you to send me all the under-mentioned particulars,for me to know you more.
Below here is what I need from you so that I can send to you the bank information:

(1) Occupation and position in the company

(2) House and office addresses.

(3) And telephone Number

(4) Full name

Remember,I am giving you all this information due to the trust I reposed in you.I love you because you are an honest and understanding person.You are truthful,full of vision and a hardworking person.Thanks for your sweet regards for me.You are a nice person,I love to meet you very soon.i will like you to call me on our Reverend father telephone office number whom i have been using his computer to send this mail to you his name is Rev.father David James tel;( +221774793829 )please tell him that you want to speak with Miss N4ncy Bugib4 Duk3, and he will send a message for me to come and received your call,

Please i need you to call me as soon as you get this mail so that i can hear your voice we can talk more about this and i can clearly explain even further to you. remember that distance, age and language is not matter in love but what matters allot is good relationship from our heart.Honey attached here is another of my picture for you, I love you with all my heart and i want to be with you for the rest of my life.

Have a nice day and think about me,Am waiting to hear from you soonest.
Yours Forever in love,
Miss Nancy.

(I guess she likes chicken?)

Quote:

RAINBOW
Subject: Re: HONEY THIS IS LIFE STORY WITH TRUST.
----------
What's with the chicken in the middle of the roses?

No answer. How rude! A day later, I send another e-mail.

Quote:

RAINBOW
Subject: Re: HONEY THIS IS LIFE STORY WITH TRUST.
----------
Dear, is there something wrong? I'll fill in the questions if that's what you want...

She's calling me, "dear", so I guess I'll try doing it back.

It seems to work.

Quote:

NANCY
Subject: HONEY PLEASE USE THIS INFORMATION TO CONTACT THE BANK IN LONDON TODAY FOR THE PROCESS OF THE TRANSFER
----------
Good afternoon my lovely darling,
Honey thank you very much for your love towards me, how are you doing today? i hope that everything is fine with you and you are also in good health too? well as for me i am doing pretty good and my day has not been the best, the life i live here as a refugee is quite a terrible one,but i believe that by the special grace of God who has made it possible for us to have contact through this way will surely bring us together.

Honey thanks so much for your lovely mail, What i propose to you is a very urgent and serious matter which needed urgent attention,like i told you earlier that i have already contacted the bank and all they ask me is to look for someone a relation or partner who will stand for me and also use his account information to receive the money because of my refugee status, you know that i have no passport even the resident permit which i can use to stand for myself,
So that is the most reason why i really want you to contact the bank for me and stand as my partner ok, there is no problem the money was deposited by my late father and i am the next of kin there is no doubt about that ok because i already have my late fathers death certificate for prove. please after reading this mail,make sure you contact them ok, so that after the transfer,i will come over to your country to meet you there.
The Contact Information And Details Of The Bank Is As Follow.

Secure Trust Banking Group Plc
Email / [email protected] ) ,OR ([email protected]) (Hey, nice mail.com addresses!)
The name of the transfer officer is Mr Gary Antony Jennison
Telephone number +44703190966
Office Fax number +447031918115
My Father's Account Name; Dr. Bugiba Duke
My Father's Account Number ; Dl-24668-7548.
Next of kin ; Miss N4ncy Bugib4 Duk3

Please inform the bank on how to transfer the US$3,700,000.00 million Dollars deposited by my late father (Dr.Bugiba Duke) of which i am the next of kin.

Honey make sure that you contact the bank in London as soon as you read this mail with each one of there email address here for the transfer and ask them how to transfer the money deposited by my late father which he made me the next of kin into your bank account so that them will know that we are serious for this transfer because i have already inform them about you for the transfer and they are waiting to hear from you so when you hear from them please try to let me know so that i will start preparing my coming over to your country to be with you for a better life and continue my education.

Honey i will like to hear your lovely voice so try and call me with the rev father telephone number as you promise to call me today here is the number again . +221774793829 and darling try and send me your picture today and and i believe that thing will work out good for us.

Honey i want you to keep everything top secret until we meet together because,i don't want any person to know anything about this my life and situation even about this money,we must be very careful with anything.I love you with all my heart in fact i can't wait to be in your arms.
Take good care of your self for me.
Your love Forever.

Quote:

RAINBOW
Subject: Re: HONEY PLEASE USE THIS INFORMATION TO CONTACT THE BANK IN LONDON TODAY FOR THE PROCESS OF THE TRANSFER
----------
Okay, there's a little, tiny, teensy-weensy, itty-bitty problem (man, I'm hanging around Pinkie too much); I'm not sure how to transfer the money. See, I've never done this before, so do you have any suggestions?

But my picture? No problemo! Only fair, right? I mean, you sent me yours.

Oops! How did that shit get there?

I sent a 1920x1080 bitmap with a noise filter on it (weighing in at just under 8MB). This was accepted.

Quote:

NANCY
Subject: DARLING SEND THIS EMAIL TO THE BANK TODAY OK.
----------
Good day Sir Gary.

My name is Rainbow Dash,
I am foreign partner / trustee to Miss n4ncy bugib4 duk3 which I believe she has already told you about me regarding some fund of Dr Bugiba Duke who is her late father, So Please I want to know the possibility of transferring her late fathers money deposited in your bank to my account in my country of which she is the next of kin but due to her refugee statue she wants me to stand for her through the transfer.
I am awaiting for your response.
Regards
Mr Rainbow Dash

Send them the message with those two email address([email protected])([email protected])
The name of the transfer officer is Mr Gary Antony Jennison
Telephone number +44703190966
Office Fax number +447031918115
My Father's Account Name; Dr. Bugiba Duke
My Father's Account Number ; Dl-24668-7548.
Next of kin ; Miss n4ncy bugib4 duk3

..................................................................................

Dear try and contact the bank now and darling try and let me know if you hear from the bank, i love you with all my heart and i can wait to come to your country and start a good life with you and i know that it will happen very soon.
Your love forever.

Aww, no chickens this time? I'm starting to feel unloved.

Quote:

RAINBOW
Sujbect: Re: DARLING SEND THIS EMAIL TO THE BANK TODAY OK.
----------
I'll send that right away. One thing, though — sorry, but do I look like a Mr? I know I'm tomboyish, but c'mon. I'll just change that to Ms.

Don't you worry your pretty little head about a thing. I'll take care of it.

Quote:

NANCY
Subject: Honey i love you with all my heart.
----------
My darling,

how are you doing today hope that all is well with you and believed that you are in perfect health health and in perfect condition which is the most important thing to me as am here suffering which i know that it will soon be over and my late father's money will be transferred into your account in your country and from there you send me some money to get my traveling papers to start coming to your country honey i know that it will happen soonest because i know that you are capable to handle this matter and i know that our great God will help us as well honey i want to thank you for all your effort and all your support towards and i hope that it will work out good for us very soon honey i love you and i promise you all my love and all my respect in this life now.

Darling as you said as soon as you hear from the bank you let me know as well and i will be waiting your mail and honey try and call me i want to hear your lovely voice please try and do that for me it will makes me feel so much happy in my life now because am lonely here try and do everything fast for me honey i love you and am very sorry for the mistake i make i will not do again..

Darling have a wondeerful dreams and a lovely night and my lovely kissing.

Your love forever.

Fake bank time!

Quote:

SECURE TRUST BANK
Subject: SECURE TRUST BANKING PLC.(STB.)
----------
Attention: Ms.RAINBOW DASH,

This is to acknowledge the receipt of your application to our bank dated
17th Sept,2013 and also to inform you that our bank had earlier received
a nomination letter from Miss.Nancy B.Duke nominating you (Ms.RAINBOW DASH) herein referred to as (Trustee) to act as her proxy in the
transfer of her inheritance funds (Three Million Seven Hundred Thousand
United States Dollars) deposited by her late father Dr.Bugiba Duke
here in our bank (Secure Trust Bank London Plc) to a designated account in
your country for investment purposes.

For security reasons and protections to our clients, our bank will not
disclose further any personal Information regarding the account or deposit
here in our bank until documented proves are presented to us on the above
claim appeal. Its strictly against our banking policy to disclose any
part of the depositors information to any third party herein referred to
as:(Proxies, Trustee or Agent) until all legal proves presented to us are
satisfactory and in accordance to our banking rules and policies on
customers Security.

Therefore, to further assist you in the above transfer appeal negotiation
in favor of Miss Nancy B.Duke who was named as the legal beneficiary
to the deposit, we will request that both parties involved in the transfer
appeal negotiation present to our bank some legal documents which will lay
as a proof to the claims and also a legal agreement binding the both
parties that the above claims are legally made under legal consent of next
of kin to the account (Miss Nancy B.Duke)

Hence, as part of our legal procedures for inheritance deposit transfer,
our management teams have stated in the attached file to this email some
legal documents that will be necessarily needed to process your transfer
appeal which these documents will also save as a proof of your nomination
as a trustee by Miss Nancy B.Duke.

Our Bank, hereby request that the both parties (Miss Nancy B.Duke &
Ms.RAINBOW DASH) to ensure that all stated documents listed in the
attached file is presented to our bank (Secure Trust Bank London Plc) to
enable us ascertain the transfer appeal.

Please find the attached file from the download link in this email and
make sure you study carefully and provide to us all the requested
documents to enable us proceed with the transfer request.

Finally our bank management team wishes to apologize for any
inconveniences our numerous request may cause you, but we hope that this
will go a long way to help protect and maintain a safety record of our
bank.

Yours Faithfully,
Mrs. Vivienne Russell
For Public Relation Services
Secure Trust Bank Plc.

[Fake document attachment]

Quote:

RAINBOW
Subject: Re: SECURE TRUST BANKING PLC.(STB.)
----------
Sorry, but I don't drive (mainly because I have no opposable thumbs) and I've never been abroad, so I don't have a driver's license or a passport.

The document said I needed to provide either an international passport or a driver’s license. Oh well, "bank". At least you don't actually need them, eh? Time to let Nancy know I've been in contact (even though she likely already knows, as she is probably the "bank").

Quote:

RAINBOW
Subject: Re: Honey i love you with all my heart.
----------
They replied and I replied to their reply. They need my driver's license and passport, but I have neither of them (can't drive and never been abroad). But that doesn't matter, as they need a whole bunch of other stuff that only you will have. I attached the document they sent me. You probably already know what's in it (I'll bet she does), but I'm sending it anyways.

And it's cool, it's cool. We all make mistakes. Even me. But not that often, considering how awesome I am.

[Fake document attachment]

Quote:

NANCY
Subject: MY LOVELY HONEY PLEASE USE THIS INFORMATION TO CONTACT THE LAWYER TODAY FOR THE DOCUMENTS IN YOUR NAME, (Holy long subject lines, Batman!)
----------
My lovely honey good evening,
Honey how are you doing today and how was your night hope great and i know that you slept very fine last night am so much happy about that and i did pray for you as i was about to sleep last night? I hope you are in good condition of health keep it on,
dear i thank you so much for your encouragement love caring and kindness which you always show to me since we have this contact, i really appreciate it and am happy that you come to my life when it seems that there is no hope in my life but you brought hope of surviving in my life again.

Well My lovely honey i quite understand all the bank said concerning the documents which them request concerning the transfer like i told you earlier that i have my late fathers death certificate but the bank also need a power of attorney and an affidavit of oath from Senegalese high court and they said that all this documents must be endorsed by a Senegalese resident lawyer based on the mail the bank send to you.

I did inform the Reverend father about this and how to get a geneue lawyer here who can help us for all this Documents and he gave me the contact of this lawyer who is a Senior lawyer and a registered lawyer here in Senegal and he said that he is at the position to help us and get all this Documents that was need from the bank.
The Contact Information Of The lawyer Are As Follow.

Bar (Dr) HERBERT ALLEN.
E mail addresses ([email protected])
( [email protected] )
Gueule Tapee Rue 54 x 621 Dakar Senegal
Office tel / fax ... +221-774432905

Honey i will like you to contact him for the preparation of the power of attorney since you will be the principal person to stand on my behalf,and some of your data will be required to appear in the said documents from the court as required by the bank.

Honey i can't wait to come over to your country to meet you for a better life and continue my education as soon as the transfer is made and i come over to your country and you help me and direct me what to use the money do because as soon as i come over there i will have a peaceful life again and all the problem will be over and i believe that it will happen very soon.

Thank you so much my lovely dear for all your effort to bring me out from this painful place.
,i love to read from you always and dear i will like just to hear your lovely voice today dear please call me with the rev father telephone number +221 774793829,my dear one try and do that for me and i will be so much happy about it and my dear try to contact the lawyer as soon as possible you gets my mail now.
Always Yours.

Just to be difficult, I ask a pointless question

Quote:

RAINBOW
Subject: Re: MY LOVELY HONEY PLEASE USE THIS INFORMATION TO CONTACT THE LAWYER TODAY FOR THE DOCUMENTS IN YOUR NAME,
----------
Which e-mail should I send a message to? He's got two, for some reason, so which is the one he'll check the least? (Emphasis not in the original e-mail.)

Quote:

NANCY
Subject: MY DEAR SEND THE MESSAE WITH THE BOTH EMAILS. (Why can't you just reply to my e-mail instead of writing a completely new one?)
----------
My darling dear,
how are you doing today hope all is well with you and regarding your health and you condition believe that all is perfectly fine with you because you mean the whole world to me and know that soon we are going to see each other face to face and it will be the most beautiful day in my life my dear thanks so much for all your support and all your effort towards me i know that there will be happiness soon in our life.

My dear i have read your mail and your question but you have to send message both the two email address because i don't know the one he will responds fast but you have to send the message both the two emails and as soon as you do that try and let me know.

Bar (Dr) HERBERT ALLEN.
E mail addresses ([email protected])
( [email protected] )
Gueule Tapee Rue 54 x 621 Dakar Senegal
Office tel / fax ... +221-774432905

My dear i will stop here now and please take a very good care of yourself for me and have a wonderful weekend.
Yours forever.

Quote:

RAINBOW
Subject: Re: MY DEAR SEND THE MESSAE WITH THE BOTH EMAILS.
----------
Alright, so... what do I send to him?

Getting the lad to do all the work is always a good idea.

Quote:

NANCY
Subject: DARLING SEND THIS MESSAGE TO TH.E LAWYER NOW.
----------
My darling,
how are you doing today hope that all is well with and i know that you are in perfect health and in perfect condition which is the most important thing to me as am here suffering which i know that it will be over very soon and a new life will start as well,honey i have read your mail and i want you to know that you mean the whole world to me and i will love you forever because you have bring joy and happiness once again in my life and i know that our great God will reward you and i promise you all my love all my heart.

Darling i will stop here now and i have composed message for you which you are going to send the lawyer regarding the preparation of the remaining documents so honey try and send him the message have a wonderful day and have my lovely kissing.
Your love forever.
Nancy.

....................................................

Hello Sir.
I am Rainbow Dash by name, your contact was given to us by the good Reverend father David James from Ms Nancy's refugee camp. I am the partner of Ms N4ncy Bugib4 Duke whom her late father Dr.Bugiba Duke left some money as the next of kin in a leading Bank in Secure Trust Banking Group Plc., Now she wishes me to help her transfer the money to my account in my country. I have contacted the Bank where her late father deposited the money and the Bank requested some documents which we only have few already, and the Bank said that the other remaining three documents must be from your country high court and by your country (SENEGALESE) resident Lawyer, the three remaining document are (A power of Attorney, Administration and affidavit of oath). Please we will like you to help us make this documents as soon as possible, Please your soonest respond is needed by us. My name and contact/address to use in preparing the said documents are as follows below:........

Full Name:.....
Origin Country: ....
Resident Country: ....
Address: , ...
Phone number: ...
Occupation.....
Date of Birth....

The lawyer email address once again, ([email protected])
( [email protected])

Quote:

RAINBOW
Subject: Re: DARLING SEND THIS MESSAGE TO TH.E LAWYER NOW.
----------
Alright, I sent the e-mail to the lawyer last night. I hope he replies soon.

Man... I just can't stop looking at your pictures. Are you really that beautiful? Wink

By the way, I hope you're into ponies, because I'm really a... actually, never mind.

In hindsight, I should have actually sent her entire e-mail, including the "instructions" to add to the "stupid maga" image.

Quote:

RAINBOW
Subject: Re: DARLING SEND THIS MESSAGE TO TH.E LAWYER NOW.
---------
He's not responded, yet. What do I do?

Quote:

NANCY
Subject: MY DEAR AM VERY SORRY OK. (Oh, you will be.)
---------
My dear,

how are you doing today hope that all is well with you and regarding your health and your condition hope that all is perfectly fine with you which is the most important thing to me as am here suffering which i know that soon it will be over and a new life will start because i have pass through many pains in this refugee but it will be over soon.

My dear am very sorry for my late replying your mail the reason is that light went off in the camp since past two days that is why you have never hear from me am sorry about that and dear i have called lawyer this morning he said that he is in the federal high court because our matter and he is finding the cost of those documents that as soon as he return to his office that he will send you email as well and explain everything to you as well so my dear if you hea from the lawyer try and let me know as well.

I will stop here and please take a very good care of yourself for me and have a wonderful day and my lovely kissing.

Your love forever.

Enter alternate account #1!

Quote:

BARRISTER HERBERT ALLEN ([email protected] via rocketmail.com)
Subject: ATTENTION SIR,FROM THE FEDERAL HIGH COURT THIS EVENING.
---------
SOLICITORS AND ADVOCATES:
Address: Gueule Tapee Rue 54 x 621 Dakar Senegal
P. O. BOX: 301450 DAKAR SENEGAL
PHONE: +221-77-443-2905
EMAIL: [email protected]
Or: [email protected]

REF: POWER OF ATTORNEY/ AFFIDAVIT OF SUPPORT

ATTENTION: Ms.Rainbow Danger Dash,

Sequel to your mail to my noble law firm here and also the telephone call which we received from Miss. N4ncy Bugib4 Duke on how to prepare a power of attorney and swear an affidavit of oath from the Federal High Court of Senegal here for you and your partner,
I discussed with one of the most respectable Reverend here in Dakar Senegal(Reverend David James) and a young lady your partner (Miss.N4ncy Bugib4) who have pleaded to our law firm for help,

In order hand i did attach to you my law firm id card for you to know whom you are dealing with it for sure.

I wish to inform you that after due confirmations from the bank,of the true existence of the money, its legitimacy and inquiry from appropriate quarters about the needful for successful completion of the transfer process, that I hereby accept to dutifully handle the case. Prior to my conversation with the bank as i contacted the bank today.

I understood from the Bank Transfer director that the actual credit balance at the moment is US$3,928 000.00 The Transfer director also mentioned that you have already being nominated by the next of kin and they are expecting that you get back to them soonest for further transfer to your country. I have seen the documents even as your partner shows me. The young girl father's death certificate, I was meant to understand from the bank that these documents are required by them for the transfer.

1. I have drafted Power of Attorney/Affidavit of oath based on your partner request and information which will be Notarized on my chambers letter head after the signature of party involved at the Federal High Court Here In Dakar Senegal .

2.After due consultations from Dakar Senegalese Federal High Court, I understand that it will officially cost the sum of 180 US Dollars ( only) to legalize the power of attorney, but poverty alleviation levy imposed by government of Senegal on any investor in the country in the category of such fund income is 190 US Dollars with court fee of 185 US Dollars Totaling 555 US Dollars which must be paid to Inland Revenue Office.

The Payment Receipt would be tendered to the Federal High Court before the Power of Attorney is Notarized.

555 US Dollars is for government levy to enable me commence and conclude actions on the authentication of the power of attorney/agreement in the Federal High Court.

To speedy the process you are to send these money through Western Union Money transfer system(which is the fastest mean's of sending money to enable this noble office prepare and validate the power of attorney here in the high court and notary republic respectively. You are to send the (555 US Dollars) with the name of my secretary Mr PAUL JOHNATHAN.

Ms Rainbow immediately you make the payment call my office telephone number to give us the payment information which will enable this chambers to go and get the money out from Western Union Money Transfer Service office here and start the preparation of those document's as you requested which will only take two working day's for it readiness for the transfer.

WESTERN UNION MONEY TRANSFER SERVICE.
RECEIVERS NAME: is my secretary name which is:Mr PAUL JOHNATHAN
Gueule Tapee Rue 54 x 621 Dakar Senegal

Ms Rainbow send the transfer information as soon as you send the funds to enable him go for the collection of the money from any of their local office here. I did received your information you sent to us for the preparation of power of attorney. Please do not fail to contact me for more clarifications needed on the receipt of this mail.

Yours sincerely in Service,
Bar .HERBERT ALLEN
(Principal Partner).(ESQ)
Gueule Tapee Rue 54 x 621 Dakar Senegal

Quote:

RAINBOW
Subject: Re: ATTENTION SIR,FROM THE FEDERAL HIGH COURT THIS EVENING.
---------

|Please do not fail to contact me for more clarifications needed on the receipt of this mail.|

Alright, I got something I need clarified before I do anything.

First of all, you say this:

|I understand that it will officially cost the sum of 180 US Dollars ( only)|

So, it's only 180 US Dollars? Fine. THEN, you go on to say:

|poverty alleviation levy imposed by government of Senegal on any investor in the country in the category of such fund income is 190 US Dollars|

Out of nowhere, you add another 190 onto it. But wait! There's more!

|with court fee of 185 US Dollars|

It went from $180 to $555 in a few sentences.

Boy, that escalated quickly.

So, is it $180 or $555?

Quote:

HERBERT
Subject: FROM THE DESK OF HERBERT-ALLEN LEGAL CHAMBERS. (FROM A CRAMPED, HOT, INTERNET CAFÉ)
---------
ATT;RAINBOW,

Ms RAINBOW IT'S MY GREAT PLEASURE AND GREAT OPPORTUNITY TO WRITE TO YOU ONCE AGAIN AND I HAVE GO THROUGH YOUR MESSAGE AND FIND OUT YOUR REQUEST AND YOUR QUESTION YOU ASK AND I WILL LIKE YOU TO GO THROUGH THIS LINES UP ONCE AGAIN.

1. I have drafted Power of Attorney/Affidavit of oath based on your partner request and information which will be Notarized on my chambers letter head after the signature of party involved at the Federal High Court Here In Dakar Senegal .

2.After due consultations from Dakar Senegalese Federal High Court, I understand that it will officially cost the sum of 180 US Dollars ( only) to legalize the power of attorney, but poverty alleviation levy imposed by government of Senegal on any investor in the country in the category of such fund income is 190 US Dollars with court fee of 185 US Dollars Totaling 555 US Dollars which must be paid to Inland Revenue Office.

Ms RAINBOW THIS IS THE PROCESS AND PROCEDURE HERE BECAUSE THE NEXT OF THE KIN WHICH IS YOUR PARTNER IS LIVING IN THE REFUGEE CAMP HERE AND FOR THE FEDERAL HIGH COURT ISSUE THOSE DOCUMENTS ON YOUR NAME YOU MUST PAY THE LEVY IMPOSED FEE AND THE COURT FEE BEFORE ANY ATTENTION WE BE GIVEN TO YOU,ABOUT THE AMOUNT WHAT I MEAN IS FIVE HUNDRED AND FIFTY FIVE US DOLLARS IS WHAT I MEAN SO GO AHEAD AND SEND THE FEE SO THAT I WILL START THE PREPARATION OF THOSE DOCUMENTS IMMEDIATELY AS YOU AND YOUR PARTNER WANT IT TO BE DONE.

Ms RAINBOW WE THANKS YOU FOR THE KIND OF CO-OPERATION YOU ARE GIVEN TO OUR LAW FIRM GOOD BYE FOR NOW.

YOURS SINCERELY IN SERVICE,
BAR HERBERT ALLEN (Esq)
(PRINCIPAL PARTNER)

Quote:

RAINBOW
Subject: Re: FROM THE DESK OF HERBERT-ALLEN LEGAL CHAMBERS.
----------
Okay, I think I get it now. At first I was like "Huh" now I'm like "Dafuq". But how do I send the money?

Quote:

HERBERT
Subject: Re: FROM THE DESK OF HERBERT-ALLEN LEGAL CHAMBERS.
----------
(Rather than post what he sent me, let me just say that he sent me THE EXACT SAME E-MAIL as last time! Twice in the one mail! I guess he didn't want to send a third e-mail and thought that was a more efficient solution.)

Quote:

RAINBOW
Subject: Re: FROM THE DESK OF HERBERT-ALLEN LEGAL CHAMBERS.
----------
Wait... now I'm like "HUH?" all over again. Dude, instead of sending me a long-flank e-mail overflowing with information, how about you just tell me what I need to do to send the money? It's not like it's going to make you look less professional. Sheesh! Quality over quantity, man!

I should know about professionalism. After all, my middle name is professionalism. Yup, Rainbow Danger Professionalism Dash.

With the good barrister wasting so much of his own time — I seriously couldn't figure out what he wanted. Oh well, more time wasted — Nancy gets worried about the monies and sends an e-mail.

Quote:

NANCY
Subject: DEAR WAITING YOUR MAIL NOW.
----------
My dear,

how are you doing today hope that all is well with you and regrdaing your health and your condition hope that all is perfectly fine with you and is the most important thing to me as am here suffering which i know that it will be over in few days as you have to bring me out of this situation my dear i don't know how to thank you for all your support and effort towards me and i know that our great God will rewards you for all the things you are doing to me because you have brought joy and happiness back in my life and i know that soon there will a new life and all things will turn to new in my life i have the father and hope as well.

My dear for some days now i have never hear from you hope that all is well with but am so worry about it please try and write to me you know that you are my joy and you are the only thing i have in this life and how are you doing with the lawyer please try and let me know as well and i will be waiting your mail now.

Yours forever.

Quote:

RAINBOW
Subject: Re: DEAR WAITING YOUR MAIL NOW.
----------
Sorry, babe. It's just the guy I'm talking to is being weird and confusing. I ask him questions and he responds with long-winded e-mails that make my brain hurt.

You don't need to worry about your conditions. Once I get proper answers, I'll send that money over and you can come to Equestria. It's practically perfect over here. I can show you around Cloudsdale and take you to a Wonderbolts show! You gotta see them! Especially Spitfire, she's awesome (and kinda hot, too, no pun intended)! I could even take you over to Ponyville to meet the rest of my friends. And believe me, they'll be your friends, too. In fact, I guarantee that on your first visit, Pinkie Pie will be your friend. She's friends with EVERYPONY, and I mean EVERYPONY.

Love, RD (you can call me Dashie if you want

)

Back to Herb.

Quote:

HERBERT
Subject: FROM THE DESK OF HERBERT-ALLEN LEGAL CHAMBERS.
----------
ATT;RAINBOW,

Ms RAINBOW IF YOU GO TO BANK IN YOUR COUNTRY JUST ASK THEM THAT YOU WANT TO SEND MONEY TO SENEGAL THROUGH WESTERN UNION MONEY TRANSFER SERVICE THEY WILL DIRECT AND YOU USE THE INFORMATION BELOW AND SEND THE MONEY TOMORROW MORNING.

WESTERN UNION MONEY TRANSFER SERVICE.
RECEIVERS NAME: is my secretary name which is:Mr PAUL JOHNATHAN
Gueule Tapee Rue 54 x 621 Dakar Senegal

Ms RAINBOW WE THANKS YOU FOR THE KIND OF CO-OPERATION YOU ARE GIVEN TO OUR LAW FIRM GOOD BYE FOR NOW.

YOURS SINCERELY IN SERVICE,
BAR HERBERT ALLEN (Esq)
(PRINCIPAL PARTNER)

Quote:

RAINBOW
Subject: Re: FROM THE DESK OF HERBERT-ALLEN LEGAL CHAMBERS.
----------
Alright, I'll go to the bank and ask about Western Onion tomorrow.

Yup, that's totally what I'm going to do.

Now for some long correspondence with Nancy-kins.

Quote:

NANCY
Subject: DEAR DASH THANKS SO MUCH.
----------
My dear Dash,

good afternoon and how are you doing hope fine and great that's lovely and wonderful and is my happiness as am here and dear dash am more than happy to read your message now and i want to thank you for all your support and effort you are making to bring me out of this suffering zone and i know that in few days all will be over and i will start a new life with you and i can wait to come over to your country dear dash i know that it will happen and as you said that you are in contact with the lawyer that soon as you receive an answer from him that you will send him the money for the preparation of those documents from the federal high court here so dear desh as soon as you done try and let me know as well.

Dear please take a very good care of yourself for me and a wonderful day and big kisses.

Yours forever.

Quote:

RAINBOW
Subject: Re: DEAR DASH THANKS SO MUCH.
----------
Dear Nancy,

Hey, I thought I should let you know that in a few weeks, I'll be away on a training course (maybe around the 20th October), and I don't know if I'll be able to access the Internet at the place we're going (we being me and my team). I'm not leaving yet, but I just thought I should let you know and I hope you won't get too lonely. It'll only be for four or five days. Hopefully, they'll let us use the Internet there. If not, well, we'll have to wait until I get back.

Like I said, I'm not leaving yet, so don't worry.

And yeah, I contacted the lawyer. I just need him to clarify how to use that Western Onion Bank Transfer thing. While that's happening, you wanna get to know a couple of my pals? They're awesome! Not as awesome as me, but hey, we can't all be. Wink

The whole thing about leaving is true. Only, I was going on holiday to Blackpool, not going to a training course.

Quote:

NANCY
Subject: Re: DEAR DASH THANKS SO MUCH.
----------
My dear Dash,

how was your day hope that all is well with you and regarding your health and your condition hope that all is perfectly fine with you which so lovely and nice am very sorry for late replying your message dear hope you will not be angry with me for that,dear you know here the connection and the light is always problem because they always went off and come back something all day there will be know light in the camp (I think what she was trying to say is, she was busy scamming other people. As long as they were fellow baiters, I don't mind her cheating on me),that's the reason why i don't write you always but am more than happy for all your support and effort towards me hope that things will turn out good in few days time.

My dear i have go through your message and all you said please just try and comply with the lawyer and send him the fee so that he will start the preparation of those documents requested from the bank and dear as soon as you send him the money try and let me know,love you dear dash.

Yours forever.

Quote:

RAINBOW
Subject: Re: DEAR DASH THANKS SO MUCH.
----------
No, I could never be angry with you. And besides, it's not like anything that happened at the camp was your fault.

I can't "just comply with the lawyer" if I don't know how to use that Western Bank thing he's talking about. That's why I'm asking, because I've never done this before.

The good old "Western Union = Bank" deal.

Quote:

NANCY
Subject: Re: DEAR DASH THANKS SO MUCH.
----------
My dear dash,

how is your day going hope great and nice and i want to thank you for your understanding i know that everything will be fine soon and i put my hope and trust in you and i know that you are God sent in my life because you have brough haappiness joy that lost back to my life and i can stop thanking you for all you have done in my life and i hope that everything will work out good for us soonest and i want to know have you travel for the program you told me just take a very good care of yourself for me and have a wonderful time over there.

Yours forever.

Quote:

RAINBOW
Subject: Re: DEAR DASH THANKS SO MUCH.
----------

| i want to know have you travel for the program you told me

No, I've not left for that, yet, if that's what you mean. I'll be going on 21st October and will be away until the 25th, so like I said, unless they have Internet there, I won't be able to talk until maybe the 26th at the soonest.

A little bit of good news, though. I'll ask if I can split up the payments to the lawyer rather than pay one lump sum. That should keep him occupied.

Quote:

NANCY
Subject: Re: DEAR DASH THANKS SO MUCH.
----------
My dear dash,

good afternoon how are you doing hope all is well with you and regarding your health and your condition hope that all is perfectly fine with you and is a thing of joy and happiness to me because you mean the whole world to me,my dear dash i don't know how to thank you for all your effort and your support towards me to be honest i don't know what to say now but just wait let everything settle and i come over to your country we will share our happiness and joy together and i know that it will happen soonest.

My dear dash just any way it will be good for you just go ahead and do it and about to send the lawyer part of the fee i hope that he will agree just try and comply with him and i hope to hear good news soon.

My dear dash please take a very good care of yourself for me and have a wonderful night and a lovely dreams.

Yours Nancy.

Four "My dear dash" lines in one e-mail. I guess I'm her dear dash, then.

But the day of the holiday has arrived.

Quote:

RAINBOW
Subject: Re: DEAR DASH THANKS SO MUCH.
----------
Yo, babe!

Well, your lawyer is being a flankhole. He's went completely silent on me. It makes me wonder if he's a real lawyer. I mean, what kind of REAL lawyer just goes silent on someone when they have to fill in a form? No REAL lawyer does that. Have a word or seven with him.

I'm about to go to bed, since I've gotta get up early to catch the bus to the training camp. If he's not responded within a week, I'd suggest just firing him and getting a new (and REAL) lawyer. (This generates an hilarious response!) Make sure you get your money back. If you don't get it back, report him for fraud.

Anyway, I'll get back to you when I can. I'll be thinking of you the whole time I'm away. Love ya, babe!

Dashie

xxx

Ealier in the week, I talked to Mr. Sherbert.

Quote:

HERBERT
Subject: FROM THE DESK OF HERBERT-ALLEN LEGAL CHAMBERS
----------
ATT;RAINBOW,

Ms RAINBOW I WANT TO USE THIS OPPORTUNITY TO WRITE TO YOU A FEW LINE OF MESSAGE TO YOU BECAUSE I HAVE BEEN EXPECTING THE RECEIPT OF THE DOCUMENTS FEE PAYMENT AS YOU INFORMED ME THAT YOU WILL BE GOING TO THE BANK FOR THE TRANSFER PROCESS SO TRY UP DATE ME SOONEST YOU GETS THIS WRITE TOP.

Ms RAINBOW WE THANKS YOU FOR THE KIND OF CO-OPERATION YOU ARE GIVEN TO OUR LAW FIRM GOOD BYE FOR NOW.

YOURS SINCERELY IN SERVICE,
BAR HERBERT ALLEN (Esq)
(PRINCIPAL PARTNER)

Quote:

RAINBOW
Subject: Re: FROM THE DESK OF HERBERT-ALLEN LEGAL CHAMBERS
----------
Sorry, dude. I've been getting ready for a training course I'll be going on in a few weeks and I completely forgot to get back to you.

Anyway, I asked the bank about that Western Onion place and they directed me to it. I was about to walk in, but then I remembered I don't know how to use it. Could you direct me the steps on how to send the money? Sorry for asking, I just really don't want to mess this up.

Stay cool, bro.

Quote:

RAINBOW
Subject: Re: FROM THE DESK OF HERBERT-ALLEN LEGAL CHAMBERS
----------
You know, you won't get money from me if you don't tell me how to use Western Onion. Do you normally ignore people who have your money?

Quote:

HERBERT
Subject: Re: FROM THE DESK OF HERBERT-ALLEN LEGAL CHAMBERS
----------
ATT;RAINBOW,

Ms RAINBOW IF YOU GO TO BANK IN YOUR COUNTRY JUST ASK THEM THAT YOU WANT TO SEND MONEY TO SENEGAL THROUGH WESTERN UNION MONEY TRANSFER SERVICE THEY WILL DIRECT AND YOU USE THE INFORMATION BELOW AND SEND THE MONEY NOTHING MUCH YOU HAVE TO DO SO EVERYTHING IS IN YOUR HAND SO IS LEFT FOR YOU TO SEND THE MONEY.

WESTERN UNION MONEY TRANSFER SERVICE.
RECEIVERS NAME: is my secretary name which is:Mr PAUL JOHNATHAN
Gueule Tapee Rue 54 x 621 Dakar Senegal

Ms RAINBOW WE THANKS YOU FOR THE KIND OF CO-OPERATION YOU ARE GIVEN TO OUR LAW FIRM GOOD BYE FOR NOW.

YOURS SINCERELY IN SERVICE,
BAR HERBERT ALLEN (Esq)
(PRINCIPAL PARTNER)

Quote:

RAINBOW
Subject: Re: FROM THE DESK OF HERBERT-ALLEN LEGAL CHAMBERS
----------
Alright, but why is the receiver's name different?

Quote:

HERBERT
Subject: Re: FROM THE DESK OF HERBERT-ALLEN LEGAL CHAMBERS
----------
ATT;RAINBOW,

Ms RAINBOW BASE ON YOUR QUESTION WHY THE RECEIVE'S NAME IS NOT MINE MR PAUL JOHNATHAN IS MY SECRETARY AND IS THE ONE IN CHARGE OF MONEY IN MY LAW FIRM YOU HAVE TO KNOW THAT AM A BUSY PERSON ALMOST IN THE HIGH COURT,ONE MORE THING YOU CAN STILL USE MY NAME FOR THE PAYMENT DR.HERBERT ALLEN HOPE THAT I HAVE ANSWERED YOU WELL FOR YOUR QUESTION.

WESTERN UNION MONEY TRANSFER SERVICE.
RECEIVERS NAME: is my secretary name which is:Mr PAUL JOHNATHAN
Gueule Tapee Rue 54 x 621 Dakar Senegal

Ms RAINBOW WE THANKS YOU FOR THE KIND OF CO-OPERATION YOU ARE GIVEN TO OUR LAW FIRM GOOD BYE FOR NOW.

YOURS SINCERELY IN SERVICE,
BAR HERBERT ALLEN (Esq)
(PRINCIPAL PARTNER)

Quote:

RAINBOW
Subject: Re: FROM THE DESK OF HERBERT-ALLEN LEGAL CHAMBERS
----------
Yeah, okay. The thing is, I don't have $555 right now. Plus, I need to convert it into our money (Equestrian Bits, but I can ask my friend, Twilight, to do that). But I should be able to get it to you after my training course in a couple of weeks. I'll be away from the 21st October to the 25th October. Now, unless they'll let us on the Internet there, I won't be able to contact you again until October 26th at the earliest. In the meantime, I'm gonna try to raise as much as possible before then. I promise I'll get it to you soon as.

Anything else I can do to help? Anything at all? Any... "services" I can offer?

Yes, this was in the original e-mail.

Quote:

RAINBOW
Subject: Re: FROM THE DESK OF HERBERT-ALLEN LEGAL CHAMBERS
----------
Hey, although I can't pay all of that at once, but would it be cool if I paid them separately? Like, each payment on its own? That way, you could get some of the money and it would keep you occupied until I get back from training 'cause I'm gonna get paid even while I'm there.

Let me know, dude.

Quote:

HERBERT
Subject: Re: FROM THE DESK OF HERBERT-ALLEN LEGAL CHAMBERS
----------
ATT;RAINBOW,

Ms RAINBOW I HAVE READ YOUR WRITE TOP IN THAT CASE YOU ARE FREE TO DO AS YOU SAID YOU CAN PAY THE FEE HALF IF YOU RETURN FROM THE TRAINING YOU PAY THE BALANCE AS WELL AND FOR SURE.

WESTERN UNION MONEY TRANSFER SERVICE.
RECEIVERS NAME: is my secretary name which is:Mr PAUL JOHNATHAN
Gueule Tapee Rue 54 x 621 Dakar Senegal

Ms RAINBOW WE THANKS YOU FOR THE KIND OF CO-OPERATION YOU ARE GIVEN TO OUR LAW FIRM GOOD BYE FOR NOW.

YOURS SINCERELY IN SERVICE,
BAR HERBERT ALLEN (Esq)
(PRINCIPAL PARTNER)

Quote:

RAINBOW
Subject: Re: FROM THE DESK OF HERBERT-ALLEN LEGAL CHAMBERS
----------
Alright, good. So what do you want me to pay first?

Quote:

HERBERT
Subject: Re: FROM THE DESK OF HERBERT-ALLEN LEGAL CHAMBERS
----------
ATT;RAINBOW,

Ms RAINBOW BASE ON YOUR QUESTION YOU KNOW THE TOTAL AMOUNT IS 555$ USD YOU CAN SEND ANY AMOUNT YOU HAVE AT HAND 300£$ USD OR 250$ USD BUT EVERYTHING DEPENDS THE AMOUNT YOU HAVE RIGHT SO I WILL BE EXPECTING THE PAYMENT INFORMATION TODAY TO TOMORROW AS SOON AS YOU TREANSFER THE FIRST HALF OF THE FEE AS WELL AND FOR SURE.

WESTERN UNION MONEY TRANSFER SERVICE.
RECEIVERS NAME: is my secretary name which is:Mr PAUL JOHNATHAN
Gueule Tapee Rue 54 x 621 Dakar Senegal

Ms RAINBOW WE THANKS YOU FOR THE KIND OF CO-OPERATION YOU ARE GIVEN TO OUR LAW FIRM GOOD BYE FOR NOW.

YOURS SINCERELY IN SERVICE,
BAR HERBERT ALLEN (Esq)
(PRINCIPAL PARTNER)

Quote:

RAINBOW
Subject: Re: FROM THE DESK OF HERBERT-ALLEN LEGAL CHAMBERS
----------
Yo, sorry for the delay, but I was trying to reason with the flankholes at the Western Onion Bank. They said you'll need to fill in a form before they'll allow a transfer. They said it's simple, though. I hope you're willing to do this for me and especially for Nancy. I'd do it for her. Heck, I'd fill out a long form for her if I had to. I can send you a scanned version of it. I hope you this. Please. After all, I've got $150 US waiting for ya in their system. Plus, I'm leaving in a few days and something tells me they won't allow us to do money transactions while we're at the training camp.

You gonna do it for us, bud? Yeah?

Uh-oh! Actual work! Will he do it? For Nancy-pants?

Quote:

RAINBOW
Subject: Re: FROM THE DESK OF HERBERT-ALLEN LEGAL CHAMBERS
----------
You're gonna look like the bad guy here if you don't do it. I'm going away for four or five days on Monday, so I need an answer now. If you fill it in and send it back to me by tomorrow, I can print it out and hand it into the Western Onion Bank on my way to work (we're getting taken by the company bus). Or do you want me to tell Nancy her lawyer is doing a really bad job and that she should fire you and get another one? Do you? If so, I can take my $150 US out and wait for someone who is competent and caring about that poor girl in the refugee camp! Her name's Nancy! Remember her?

Pretty please?

Quote:

RAINBOW
Subject: Re: FROM THE DESK OF HERBERT-ALLEN LEGAL CHAMBERS
----------
Right, I'm going to bed, since I've got an early rise tomorrow. I've attached a scan of the Western Onion Bank form for you to fill in to get your money. I fail to see why you're being silent. Not very professional at all. Dude, I don't care if you fill in one page a day and send it to me that way, just get it back to me and then I can get your money to you.

When I next check my mail, I better see something from you.

[Attached five-page WU validation form from the Scambaiting Toolbox]

And he goes silent on me. Lazy, lazy lad. When I get back from Blackpool, er, my training, my character's quick temper flares up.

Quote:

RAINBOW
Subject: Re: FROM THE DESK OF HERBERT-ALLEN LEGAL CHAMBERS
----------
Buck you for lying. Kiss. My. Flank.

Nancy writes during the time I'm away and seems to forget I'm away "training".

Anyway, here we have one of the best e-mails in this bait! Read the bolded part.

May I also add that this was sent three times before she got the message I wouldn't be responding.

Quote:

NANCY
Subject: Honey thank you so much for your advice please contact the new lawyer now ok.
----------
Good day my dearest Dash,
How are you doing today, how was your night hope you slept like a new born baby last night, how is your work and your health which is more important to me hope with God everything is moving fine with over there in your country if so then thanks be to God Almighty.

Honey i have read your mail and understood all you have said, thanks for your advice your concern and your ability of helping me to transfer my late father's money into your account there in your country, pending my arrival to meet with you, it shows me that you are a dependable and trustworthy man (MAN!?), May you be blessed and be happy in life, Honey i don't know were to start to thank you for what you have been doing in my life, you brought love,joy and hope inside my heart, without you maybe i would have been a dead person by now, thank you once again my love.

Honey do you know that the lawyer wanted to kill me and claim my late father's money, honey yes you said the truth is not a real lawyer that is why he is not replying or responding your mail all these while but thank God i found out in time, i have reported him to the federal state of police in Senegal and the police are searching for him, Honey after reading your mail i reason it and went to the new Rev father's office to tell him what is going onb so that he will help me found another responsible original professional registered lawyer here in Dakar Senegal after discussing with him he said he will help to make sure that my late father's money get to me, he took me to one of his best lawyer, after the meeting with the new lawyer he promise to help us in the transaction.

Honey the lawyer gave me all his information's to give to you so that you will use it and contact him, he is a registered lawyer in the United Nations Camp here and he is also a registered member in Senegalese Bar Association who will help in preparing the documents for us, Please I will like you to fill this with your information and contact him through any one of his email and phone today OK.
Name..........................
Age.............................
Address.......................
Country.......................
occupation..................
Telephone...............................
When you contact him tell him that you are my foreign partner Mr Rainbow Dash OK his contact information are as follows,
Bar(Barrister)Ash Duke,
Phone Number: +221765895402
E-mail address: ( [email protected] ) ( [email protected] ) ( [email protected] )

So i will like you to contact him for the preparation of the power of attorney, Please try and contact me when you are in contact with him let me know if he will agree to help us, Honey i believe these our new lawyer Barrister.AshDuke is a very good man i trust him and he will explain everything to your understanding about how to send money through western union, Honey i want my late father's money to transferred into our account before ending of this month so that i will start coming to meet with you over there in your country, please contact him immediately

Honey please do me a favor stop writing or communicating with that devil called barristerherbertallen he is an evil, i hate him he is no more my lawyer so please stop communicating with him OK, if is possible for you delete his mails and blocked him in your box OK. (Delete his e-mails? Then how will I post them on the Internet and expose him?) i love you so much, I will like you to first of all get my late father's money transferred into your account and from it you can send some money for me to prepare my traveling documents so that i will start coming to meet with you over there in your country for us to celebrate and enjoy our self's together. thank you once again as i think of you always. i love you from my deepest heart, have a blessed day and a journey Merci OK.

I pray that our God in heaven will guide and protect you for me till you come back from your trip, i love you with all my body and my soul, i love you more and more,
Yours lovely sweet one forever
Nancy.

Unfortunately, the wifi at the hotel (and the hotel itself) was shit and I wasn't able to connect for longer than a few minutes. The e-mails made me laugh when I could connect, though.

I finally get back home and reply.

Quote:

RAINBOW
Subject: Re: Honey thank you so much for your advice please contact the new lawyer now ok.
----------
Hey babe, I'm finally back! Sorry I wasn't in contact, but they didn't have any wifi connections at the training camp, so I couldn't even use my iHoof pad to send an e-mail.

By Celestia! I come back and find this in my e-mail inbox! The lawyer was trying to kill you? Don't worry, I believe you because that totally sounds true and not made up in any way. I wish I had checked my mail last night, but I was so exhausted that I went to sleep as soon as I got home. Still kinda sleepy. (Actually, I read her e-mail... then played a video game.)

I'll contact the new lawyer as soon as I can and will not contact that scumbag fake lawyer. I hate liars and cheats and you are not one, I know in my heart.

Also, I'm a woman, not a man, but that's okay, you've had some guy trying to kill you, so a lot is on your mind.

Posted: Fri Apr 04, 2014 5:53 pm

Smooth, you nasty person.

Nicely done!

Posted: Tue Apr 08, 2014 2:23 pm

Oops! I just noticed only about half the bait was posted. I'll have to split it up a bit more...

Enter alternate account #2! This guy gives me a couple of GREAT sig lines, as well as three other very, very special things!

Also, might add that, despite being in a refugee camp, dear little Nancy is able to afford not just one, but TWO lawyers!

Quote:

ASH DUKE
Subject: MY FINDINGS AT THE HIGH COURT.
----------
ASH CHAMBER & SOLICITOR`S (Esq.)
Principal Attorney Sage Law Firm
48 Avenue Lamine Gueye
International Airport Rd
Dakar - Senegal
Telephone No: +221765895402
============================================================================================
(This is seriously how it was sent. The green was more of a lime green, but still, hell if I know what he was thinking.)

ATTENTION :

MY FINDINGS AT THE HIGH COURT, IN REGARDS OF THE NEEDED DOCUMENTS AND FROM MY FINDINGS IN THE HIGH COURT HERE, IT WILL COST THE SUM OF 275 DOLLAR FOR THE AUTHENTICATION OF THE POWER OF ATTORNEY TO BE PAID IN COURT. 185 DOLLAR USE FOR THE SWEARING OF THE AFFIDAVIT OF OATH AT THE FEDERAL HIGH COURT HERE BEFORE IT BECOMES VALID, TO BE PAID IN COURT. MY LEGAL PROCESSING FEE OF 170 DOLLAR AND 110 DOLLAR FOR NOTARY STAMPING AT THE NOTARY OFFICE HERE TO BE PAID IN COURT. SO THE TOTAL COST NOW FOR ALL THESE PROCESS WILL BE 740 DOLLARS.

PLEASE NOTE THAT ALL THESE SERVICES WILL BE SUBJECT TO PAYMENT OF OUR LEGAL CHARGES OF 1500 DOLLAR, BUT BECAUSE OF THE CONDITION OF MISS N4NCY BUGIB4 AND THE INTERVENTION OF REVEREND FATHER, OUR LEGAL LAW FIRM HAS COMPELLED AND ALLOW OUR SERVICE CHARGE OF 1500 DOLLARS PAID IMMEDIATELY AFTER THE TRANSFER OF THE MONEY INTO YOUR ACCOUNT. YOU HAVE TO SEND THE MONEY FOR THE POWER OF ATTORNEY, AFFIDAVIT OF OATH, NOTARY STAMPING AND LEGAL PROCESSING BEING 740 DOLLARS. ONLY, THROUGH WESTERN UNION MONEY TRANSFER OR MONEY GRAM. WITH THE NAME OF MY SECRETARY BELOW:

NAME.....................MR PHILIP CLEMENT.
ADDRESS..............48 AVENUE LAMINE GUEYE INTERNATIONAL AIRPORT ROAD
COUNTRY........................................DAKAR SENEGAL

MAKE SURE YOU INFORM ME IMMEDIATELY YOU SEND THE MONEY, SO THAT I CAN START THE PROCESSING OF THE DOCUMENTS WHICH WILL BE READY IN THE NEXT TWO WORKING DAYS. (OUR PRIORITY IS TO RENDER THE BEST SERVICES TO OUR CLIENTS) THANKS. YOURS SINCERELY IN SERVICE.

BARRISTER. ASH DUKE.

Quote:

RAINBOW
Subject: Re: MY FINDINGS AT THE HIGH COURT.
----------
Wait, wait, wait. $110 today, then another $110 tomorrow? If I could send that amount each day, I would send it all at once, don'tcha think? Anyway, it's too late to go to the Western Onion Bank now, so I'll try it tomorrow.

Also, Happy Nightmare Night!

Nightmare Night = Halloween.

Quote:

NANCY
Subject: Honey thank you so much for your advice please contact the new lawyer now ok.
----------
Good day my dearest Dash,

Happy Sunday, how are you doing today, i hope you are fine and alright, i am more than grateful to read from you that you are back from your training glory be to God amen.

Thank you for your effort and concern towards my life and your ability to help me out from here. have you heard from the new lawyer, what is the lawyer respond to you, did the lawyer agree to help us and get the required documents the bank is demanding from us.

Please i need to know how far you have gone with the lawyer. Until then honey remember that today is sunday please try and go to church OK, i pray that the God almighty be be with you today, tomorrow and forever amen, i will be waiting for your positive and kind respond to my mail after the church that you have contacted the new lawyer, please contact him immediately, His contact information are as follows,

Bar(Barrister)Ash Duke,
Phone Number: +221765895402
Email address:

( [email protected] ) ( [email protected] ) ( [email protected] )

Till then i will be waiting for your good response that you have contacted the lawyer. have a nice day and take good care of your self for me Yours forever. (Yeah, sure, whatever.)

Quote:

RAINBOW
Subject: Re: Honey thank you so much for your advice please contact the new lawyer now ok.
----------
I just sent my details off to the new lawyer. Hopefully, he's not a murderous maniac.

Quote:

ASH
Subject: [my character's phone number]
----------
ASH CHAMBER & SOLICITOR`S (Esq.)
Principal Attorney Sage Law Firm
48 Avenue Lamine Gueye
International Airport Rd
Dakar - Senegal
Telephone No: +221765895402
============================================================================================
I'll skip posting this part from now on. Clearly, he was using a template.

OK I HAVE HEARD WHAT YOU SAID, I HAVE BEEN CALLING YOUR NUMBER BUT IS NOT GOING THROUGH PLEASE CHECK IF IS CORRECT OR NOT, [my character's phone number] MAYBE YOU MADE A MISTAKE IN THE NUMBER, IFORM ME WHEN YOU SEND THE MONEY TOMORROW MORNING OK. YOURS SINCERELY IN SERVICE.

BARRISTER. ASH DUKE.

Quote:

RAINBOW
Subject: Re: MY FINDINGS AT THE HIGH COURT.
----------
The number's not correct? You sure dialled it properly?

I'll post it again, just in case I missed a number or something: [my character's phone number]

While I waste this guy's time, Nancy and I have a nice dicussion.

Quote:

NANCY
Subject: I am so happy, thank you so much. (You won't be happy later.)
----------
Good morning my dearest Dash,

Hope everything is fine with you over there in your country, i am very happy to read from you that the lawyer has replied you, please try all your humanly possible and comply with him OK.

Have a blessed day yours faithful one Nancy.

Quote:

RAINBOW
Subject: Re: I am so happy, thank you so much.
----------
Hey, no worries. He replied and I'm sorting stuff out with him.

Quote:

NANCY
Subject: help me pay the lawyer (How the hell did you afford one in the first place?)
----------
Good day my dearest Dash,

how are you doing today, how about your family your work and your present health which i am so anxious to know every moment of my life, i know with God everything works accordingly if so thanks be to God, i am very happy about the lawyer's response to you, to help us and get those required documents from the high court here in Dakar Senegal, I went to the lawyer's office this afternoon to know how he has been going with the preparation of the documents before reading your respond, the Lawyer said that he has made all the arrangements and that we have to pay the sum of 740 dollars only for the power of attorney.

the Lawyer said that this payment will cover all the expenses at the federal high court before the documents becomes legal and a little part of it for his services, please help me pay the required fees to the lawyer, Please help me pay the Lawyer so that the document will be issued to us immediately, I will like you to use his data information which he sent to you to send him this money in your country OK, I want to let you know again how much i am faithful to you always as my lovely beloved sister.

you are the kind of person everybody is dreaming about and that is not all, you are all mine and i am yours alone, i depend on you, and you are my only relatives and also my only one, please help me pay the Lawyer to enable him provide the power of attorney for us OK, thanks for being there for me and thanks for coming into my life.

i am waiting to hear from you as soon as you made this payment to him, have a nice day, greetings from your lovely sweet faithful one forever Nancy.

She gets a little impatient with me not sending DA MONIES.

Quote:

NANCY
Subject: PLEASE HELP ME SEND THE MONEY TO THE LAWYER IF YOU REALLY CARES FOR ME.
----------
Hello my beloved Dash,

Why do you want to take away my life, why do you chose to treat me bad, why do you want to quench the fire you burn in my life, why do you want to take away the eyes you gave me to see, why do you want to become darkness to me instead of light, why do you want to take away my breath, why do you want to take away the wind on my sail, why do you want to leave hell to fall upon me, why do you want to make me a loser instead of a winner, why do you want to take away the hope, joy and faith you gave me, why do you want to add salt to my wound.

When i thought all my pains and my suffering has come to an end when i thought my dreams have come true when i thought my Messiah has come when i thought my light has come to shine when i thought i have found a long time waited freedom when i thought i have found life, when i thought i have found a new parents all was when you wanted to abandon and leave me, you wanted to walk away from me with out doing anything wrong to you.

What have i done wrong to you why do i deserve this kind of treatment from you, you asked me to found a good lawyer and i did, you said you promise to help me with all your heart, why did you stop writing to me, what has money come to do with love we have on each other as blood beloved sisters, even if you don't have all the money for the lawyer is it why you stopped writing me, If you have finally make up your mind to leave me or to abandon me no problem but please open up your mouth and tell me so that i can go and die for myself and join my parents in the land of the dead.

Please don't be offended for writing to you with this manner and i want you to know that i am not shouting at you rather i only want to express my feelings because I'm feeling bad and I'm feeling rejected, but for your attention i will always love you as my beloved blood sweet darling sister till the end of my life and i will always be loyal to you and i will always adore you because you have once put smiles on my face, you have once make me to laugh in my dreams you have once make me the happiest girl on earth.

My heart still beats for you, yours wounded heart

Nancy.

Quote:

RAINBOW
Subject: Re: PLEASE HELP ME SEND THE MONEY TO THE LAWYER IF YOU REALLY CARES FOR ME.
----------
Hey, yo, I'm doing what I can. My job is keeping me real busy. You know I'd e-mail more if I had the time, right? Any spare second I have right now is spent either sleeping or eating. I do try to check my e-mail from you, but it's not like my employers don't know my address, either. It's especially hectic since winter started here not that long ago and where I live, we've got to manually change the seasons.

I'm sorry for being silent, but I'm still thinking of you. I just need the lawyer to tell me how to use the Western Onion Bank to transfer money and then I'll send it right over.

The following was sent twice on the same day (probably due to double-clicking "Send")

Quote:

NANCY
Subject: I am waiting good news from you. (Then you're gonna be waiting a looong time.)
----------
Good morning my dearest Dash,

How are you doing today, hope everything is fine with you if so then thanks be to God, i am very happy to read from you once again, i understand that you don't always have chance to write because of your work.

Thank you so much for your concern and your caring, i pray that the God will continue to bless you for me amen, after reading your mail this morning i went to the lawyer's office to tell him what you said.

The lawyer said he has already reply you yesterday that he has told you in his mail yesterday on how to use western union, please just do as he explain to you OK, i wish you good luck, may God guide and protect you in all you do today in Jesus name amen.

I want the next mail i will read from you to be a good news that you have made the payment, Have a blessed day, yours lovely sweet sister Nancy.

Quote:

RAINBOW
Subject: Re: I am waiting good news from you.
----------
Hey there!

I fired off an e-mail with most of the information to get the transfer underway to the lawyer. Unfortunately, both of us (me and the lawyer) need to fill in a form to get the MTCN. I've filled mine out and I'm waiting for him to fill out and send me back his. This guy's real, right? He should fill in the form, right? Surely two lawyers in a row won't be murderous psychopaths? (Those are rhetorical questions, by the way.)

Quote:

NANCY
Subject: Re: I am waiting good news from you.
----------
Good evening my dearest Dash,

How are you doing today, your work and also your health hope everything is fine with you over there in your country if so then thanks be to God.

Please clear me worries, since two days i haven't read from you hope you are OK, i went to the lawyer's office today to know if you have send him the money, he said that he has filled the form for you but he have never heard from you.

Sweet sister i don't know how again to tell you my feelings here for you to understand my situation, you said you are waiting for the lawyer to fill out the form and he has already filled it but we never heard from you.

I understand that you don't always have time to write me but please just be remembering that you have someone here in the camp that always care to know how you are doing everyday, i missed your mail so much, please make me to be happy by writing to me OK.

And also try your possible best and send the MTCN number to the lawyer please, good night and have a nice dream, yours beloved sister Nancy.

Quote:

RAINBOW
Subject: Re: I am waiting good news from you.
----------
Sorry to keep you waiting, Nancy. Like you said, I'm busy getting Cloudsdale and Ponyville all wintery.

I got the e-mail from the lawyer, but he sent me a blank document file. Like, what the heck? What's he thinking? I sent him the form to fill out. Print it, fill it, scan it, send it. Easy peasy cupcake squeezy.

I'm waiting to see if he'll send me a filled form. I can't hand in a printed Microsoft Word document, even if it's got the exact wording. I mean, anyone could write that and use it to scam people out of money, couldn't they? That's why they need the form.

I'm sorry that you're having to spend more time in a camp because of some incompetent lawyers. Let's wait and see if he can do what's asked of him.

Quote:

NANCY
Subject: Re: I am waiting good news from you.
----------
How are you doing this morning hope you woke up beautiful, according to what you said in your mail after reading your mail i contacted the lawyer and told him what you said, the lawyer said how can he send you a blank form.

That the form took him much of his time to fill it out (good) and send it back you, he said i should ask you why are you complaining (in other words, he is you) that all you have to do is to send it to the bank, Sweet sister remember is me you are helping not the lawyer.

The lawyer said maybe is network that makes it to be blank to you so I asked him to send it to me so that i will send it to you by my self, please attached is the form for you please just take it to the western they will accept it from you all they need is to filled it for them that is all, please do it for me, i will be very happy if you do as i said.

May God bless you as you do so, have a blessed day, yours and the only lovely sweet beloved sister Nancy.

Quote:

RAINBOW
Subject: Re: I am waiting good news from you.
----------
I can't send it if there's nothing on it. I've downloaded it and when I opened it, it was blank. Why, I honestly have no idea.

Are you sure this dude is real? Are you sure he's even a guy? He got offended at being called a dude! LOL

More on the last line a little later.

The following got sent twice due to overwhelming fake grief.

Quote:

NANCY
Subject: Re: I am waiting good news from you.
----------
Good morning my dearest Dash,

You are hurting my tender heart if you keep saying you can't send it if nothing is in it, maybe the problem is from your computer or your phone, the lawyer send it to me i downloaded it and when i open there is something in it before i send it to you.

Oh my God what is happening to me, i want to ask you a question do you love me as your beloved blood sister if yes then help me financial, please please just help me fill the form please i am begging you with the name God with my knees on the ground.

Thank you so much as you do so and God bless you, yours lovely sister Nancy.

Back to Ash Hole.

Quote:

ASH
Subject: CALL ME NOW +221765895402 (Now? As in, immediately? Okie-dokie-lokie!)
----------
MY DEAR IN RESPONSE TO YOUR MAIL, I HAVE TRIED AND TRIED YOUR NUMBER BUT IS NOT GOING THROUGH, OK YOU CAN CALL ME WITH MY OWN NUMBER +221765895402 HAVE YOU SEND THE MONEY, YOU TOLD ME THAT YESTERDAY IS VERY THAT YOU WILL SEND IT TODAY BUT I HAVEN'T HEARD FROM YOU SINCE THEN WHY. MY DEAR WE DON'T NEED TO OVER DELAY THIS TRANSFER, I DON'T KNOW WHAT IS KEEPING YOU IN SENDING THE MONEY, I WANT TO TELL YOU AS SOON AS YOU SEND THE MONEY THEN I WILL START PROSECCING THE DOCUMENTS IMMEDIATELY. YOURS SINCERELY IN SERVICE.

BARRISTER. ASH DUKE.

Quote:

RAINBOW
Subject: Re: CALL ME NOW +221765895402
----------
Sorry, for the delay, but my phone isn't working. That might be why you can't reach me. I'm trying to find someone to fix it.

But in the meantime, can you tell me how to use the Western Onion Bank transfer thing? I've never used it before, so a little help would be appreciated, thanks.

Quote:

ASH
Subject: GO AND SEND THE MONEY NOW (Now? As in... wait, I made that joke. Damn.)
----------
ATTENTION

IN RESPONSE TO YOUR MAIL, GO TO THE BANK AND TELL THEM THAT YOU WANT TO SEND MONEY THROUGH WESTERN UNION IS VERY SIMPLE AND EASY, THEY WILL GIVE A FORM TO FILL, THEY WILL ASK YOU WHICH COUNTRY THEN YOU TELL THEM DAKAR SENEGAL, THEY WILL ALSO ASK YOU THE INFORMATION WHICH YOU WANT TO USE TO SEND THE MONEY THEN YOU GIVE THEM MY INFORMATION BELOW.
NAME.....................MR PHILIP CLEMENT.
ADDRESS..............48 AVENUE LAMINE GUEYE INTERNATIONAL AIRPORT ROAD
COUNTRY........................................DAKAR SENEGAL
THEY WILL ALSO ASK YOUR QUESTION AND ANSWER SUCH AS SENDER NAME, RECEIVER NAME AND ALSO MCTM CONTROL NUMBER. IT IS VERY SIMPLE OK, JUST GO AND SEND THE MONEY NOW SO THAT I WILL START PROCESSING THE DOCUMENTS IMMEDIATELY, DON'T FORGET TO SEND ME THE PAYMENTS RECEIPT I MEAN THE FORM OK, INFORM ME IMMEDIATELY YOU MADE THE PAYMENTS OK, I AM WAITING FOR YOUR RESPOND. YOURS SINCERELY IN SERVICE.

BARRISTER. ASH DUKE.

Next, I attempt to get the lad to fill in a form to get the MTCN. What happens next is... unexpected.

Quote:

RAINBOW
Subject: Re: GO AND SEND THE MONEY NOW
----------
Hey, dude! I went to the Western Bank place and, would you believe it... they need one of their stupid forms filled in. I already filled mine in yesterday. They e-mailed me one for you to print out and fill in. I'd say to just do it. I mean, this has been delayed long enough, right? But for now, here's the other stuff you wanted:

1.MTCN(Reference number)……………………. (need you to fill in the form and send it back to me)

2.SENDER’S NAME & ADDRESS……………………….. Rainbow Danger Dash/419 Nimbus Road, Cloudsdale, Equestria

3.RECEIVER’S NAME & ADDRESS………………………… Phillip Clement/48 Avenue Lamine Gueye International Airport Road, Dakar Senegal

4.AMOUNT SENT…………………….. $110 US Dollars

The form's attached. Fill it out, send it back to me, and I'll pass it over to them. Then we can get on with this. I'm sure you will, as I have been rest assured by Nancy that you are a real and honest lawyer.

Oh, and by the way, it'll say something about the UK on the form. I was confused, so I asked them about that and they said the Equestrian branch of Western Onion is owned and operated out of the United Kingdom.

[Attached five-page WU validation form from the Scambaiting Toolbox]

Amazingly, he fills it in! Probably due to the last lawyer being a fake, and him being a completely legit one. Of course, he can't fill it in without messing up in some way.

Quote:

ASH
Subject: HERE IS IT.
----------
ATTENTION

IN RESPONSE TO YOUR MAIL I HAVE FILLED THE WESTERN UNION FORM, ATTACHED IS THE COPY OF IT AWAITING FOR YOUR RESPONSE WITH MTCN CONTROL NUMBER. THANKS YOURS SINCERELY IN SERVICE.

BARRISTER. ASH DUKE.

Attached was a blank docx. I have no idea if it was some weird encoding he used, but I couldn't read it. Thankfully, this meant he saved me the trouble of having to make up an excuse to delay. He was doing the work for me without me having to fool him into it! This guy is awesome!

Too bad for him, Rainbow Dash doesn't think so.

Quote:

RAINBOW
Subject: Re: HERE IS IT.
----------
Uh, excuse me, but what the heck is this?

First of all, this is a docx. Second, it's blank! No, seriously. I opened it up and there's nothing there! How it's over six thousand kilobytes, I don't know.

Print it out. If you somehow don't have a printer, buy one, you're a lawyer, you should have enough. If you can't buy one, go to a library or something and ask to use theirs. Fill it out, and scan it back in. If you don't have a scanner, again, buy one or find somewhere that'll let you use one. Maybe the library'll have a scanner, too. Don't forget you'll need to have a print of your left thumbprint as well. Did you even do that? Just use the ink thingy they use to ink rubber stamps like they have at the post office.

Come on, dude! I need to hand in a form, not a document! Even if it's in black and white, it doesn't matter!

Quote:

ASH
Subject: WHAT KIND OF FORM IS THAT SINCE IS NOT LIKE THEN FILL IT YOUR SELF IF YOU ARE SERIOUS.
----------
ATTENTION

MY DEAR I JUST FINISH READING YOUR MAIL, I HAVE BEEN A LAWYER MORE THAN 20 YEARS NOW, I HAVE MANY FOREIGN CLIENTS THAT GIVES ME JOB AND I DID IT TO THEM PERFECTLY, HOW CAN YOU BE TURNING ME LIKE A CHILD HOPE YOU SAW MY AGE, I AM ONLY HERE TO HELP YOU AND YOUR PARTNER TO RECOVER HER LATE FATHER'S MONEY BACK, I HAVE RECEIVE MONEY FROM MANY COUNTRIES INCLUDING YOURS WITHOUT ANY FORM FROM ANYBODY (Equestria doesn't exist, mate.), THEY ONLY SEND THE ME THE INFORMATION AFTER MAKING THE PAYMENT SO IF YOU WANT TO HELP THE YOUNG INNOCENT GIRL THEN SEND THE MONEY TO PREPARE THE DOCUMENTS, WESTERN UNION IS VERY SIMPLY AND EASY THEY DON'T ASK MUCH QUESTION ONLY SENDER NAME, RECEIVER NAME, QUESTION AND ANSWER, CONTROL MTCN NUMBER AND ALSO THE COUNTRY YOU WANT TO SEND THE MONEY THAT IS ALL, IF YOU REALLY AND TRULY WANT TO HELP MISS N4NCY BUGIB4 SEND THE MONEY, EVERYTHING IS IN YOUR HANDS.

BARRISTER. ASH DUKE.

Someone's jimmies are rustled!

However, he wasn't finished and followed up with sig material.

Quote:

ASH
Subject: IF WESTERN UNION IS HARD FOR YOU THEN USE MONEY GRAM AND SEND IT.
----------
OH MY GOD YOU HAVE PROVOKE ME BADLY BY YOUR WORDS CALLING ME DUDE A 54 YEARS OLD MAN.

Am I getting to you? Am I? Good!

Quote:

RAINBOW
Subject: Re: IF WESTERN UNION IS HARD FOR YOU THEN USE MONEY GRAM AND SEND IT.
----------
Clearly, you've never dealt with anypony from Equestria before, as we've always had this security in place. Blame the EDPS (Equestrian Department of Public Safety). They're the ones who said we need to have forms for monetary transactions, so take it up with them.

Seriously, I can't see anything on that document. Send it as a .pdf. There are plenty of free .pdf converters online.

And of course I want to help Nancy! But I can't if you won't just do what is necessary.

| OH MY GOD YOU HAVE PROVOKE ME BADLY BY YOUR WORDS CALLING ME DUDE A 54 YEARS OLD MAN.

Explain how I've "provoked" you, DUDETTE (what I did just there can be considered provoking). I can't believe you're flying off the handle at an innocent little word like that. I call all guys "dude". It's the way I talk, alright? By Celestia! Getting angry at nothing? It'd be funny if it weren't so pathetic.

Oh, what the heck, I'll laugh, anyway!

Stop holding this thing up.

Quote:

RAINBOW
Subject: Re: IF WESTERN UNION IS HARD FOR YOU THEN USE MONEY GRAM AND SEND IT.
----------
Oh, I just noticed the subject line: WHAT KIND OF FORM IS THAT SINCE IS NOT LIKE THEN FILL IT YOUR SELF IF YOU ARE SERIOUS

Sure, I could fill in your form for you! Could you send over your left thumb so I can put its print in the space provided, though? I don't have your left thumb, you see. My thumbprint is different from yours. Why do you think the police dust for fingerprints? Because they're all unique to that person.

By the horn and wings of Celestia, what is the problem with the form!?

Quote:

ASH
Subject: I WILL SEND IT TO YOU.
----------
ATTENTION

I HAVE READ YOUR MAIL AND IT IS WELL UNDERSTOOD, YOU KNOW IN THIS COUNTRY WE DON'T USE DUDE TO RECOGNIZE PERSON, OK I WILL DID AS YOU SAID, NOW TELL ME HOW CAN I SEND YOU MY LEFT THUMBPRINT SHOULD I SEND IT WITH ANY SHIT OF PAPER FOR YOU TO PRINT IT OUT, MAY GOD BLESS YOU AS CHOSE TO HELP THE YOUNG GIRL, NOW I KNOW YOU ARE A VERY GOOD PERSON I TRUST YOU, I WILL SEND YOU MY THUMBPRINT SO THAT YOU WILL PUT IT PRINTS IN THE SPACE PROVIDED OK. THANKS.

BARRISTER. ASH DUKE.

Such bad language!

Quote:

RAINBOW
Subject: Re: I WILL SEND IT TO YOU.
----------
| SHOULD I SEND IT WITH ANY SHIT OF PAPER

Please don't swear. I've never put any profanity of that sort in any of my e-mails. I also love how you say the 'S' word, then immediately follow up with:

| MAY GOD BLESS YOU

If that's your idea of a joke, I'm not laughing. Please don't do that again.

Just when you thought lads couldn't get any dumber, you find out they don't understand sarcasm.

Quote:

ASH
Subject: SEE IT HERE.
----------
HERE IS MY LEFT FINGER THUMBPRINT. I DO IT TWO TIMES SO CHOSE THE ONE YOU LIKE AND PUT IT PRINTS IN THE SPACE PROVIDED OK. THANKS YOURS SINCERELY IN SERVICE.

BARRISTER. ASH DUKE.

I see it here. But I don't believe it here.

Quote:

RAINBOW
Subject: Re: SEE IT HERE.
----------
...You actually sent me your thumbprints...

I don't want to take Princess Celestia's name in vain again, so I'll just say: what the heck, Mr. Professional Barrister Who I Still Trust, For Some Reason!? Apparently, your country doesn't have sarcasm. I was being sarcastic. I thought that was clear, as I asked you to send your THUMB, not thumbprint, THUMB. Note that I wasn't actually asking for that, since it's a ridiculous request (unlike what I'm asking for). Why couldn't you send the form as a bmp file? Like, seriously? Maybe each page could be a separate bmp file? Besides, those prints are crap.

Since a form is too hard, I actually went back to Western Onion today and asked if there was any other way we could get the MTCN, since you're having trouble with it. They said a few things that I won't repeat here, and said there is another way to do it. You could always give me a picture of yourself holding a sign with a specific message on it. Surely that can't be too hard, can it? Heck, it doesn't even need to be you, just as long as somepony is holding a sign with a message on it. To make sure it's not one you just clipped off the net, the people there said I have to tell you what message the sign says. If I hand in that picture, they'll finally, finally, give us the MTCN, then we can finally move on with this. Sound good?

Alright, so assuming you've read this far, the message is as follows:

RAINBOW DASH IS BEST PONY

Random, eh? That's the point. Write that on a large piece of paper or something, take a picture of yourself (or somepony else) holding it, then send it to me. Make sure the message can be seen in the photo. If you do this, then I'll TRIPLE how much I'm sending! So, instead of $110, I'll send $330! Seems fair, considering how long we've been waiting. $330 for a picture. Think about that. Actually, think about Nancy. Helping out Nancy for a picture! And it's less effort than a form!

Here it is. The moment I'd been waiting for. I never actually expected him to do it, but I think offering to triple the money and have someone else hold the sign (but mostly the money) made him do it. So here it is. My very first trophy.

Actually let me rephrase that. Here are my first three trophies! jump_4_joy

Quote:

ASH
Subject: AWAITING YOUR GOOD NEWS.
----------
ATTENTION

IN RESPONSE TO YOUR MAIL I HAVE DID AS YOU SAID, HARD IT BE YOU BRING THIS SOLUTION SINCE I THINK EVERYTHING WOULD HAVE BEEN OVER, BUT IN ANY CASE GOD KNOWS WHY IT TOOK US SO LONG LIKE THIS, YOUR PARTNER MISS N4NCY BUGIB4 WILL BE VERY HAPPY TO HEAR THAT EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE SETTLE THIS TIME SO THAT SHE WILL START COMING TO MEET WITH YOU OVER THERE IN YOUR COUNTRY, ATTACHED IS A PHOTO OF MY SON HOLDING THE PAPER FOR YOU, HE IS MY YOUNGEST SON, MY BELOVED LAST BORN, I DOWNLOADED THREE PHOTO FOR YOU TO CHOSE THE ONE YOU LIKE,CHOSE THE ONE THAT IS MORE CLEAR TO YOU OK, I AM VERY HAPPY YOU DOUBLE THE AMOUNT 330 DOLLARS INSTEAD OF 110 DOLLAR THAT IS GOOD IS SHOWS ME THAT YOU REALLY WANT TO HELP THE YOUNG GIRL, AS SOON AS HAVE MTCN NUMBER I WILL START PROCESSING THE DOCUMENTS IMMEDIATELY, WISHING YOU GOOD LUCK TOMORROW, THANKS YOURS SINCERELY IN SERVICE.

BARRISTER. ASH DUKE.

My son.jpg
My blevoved son.jpg
My last son.jpg

[Insert preferred victory music here] Dancing Banana

Quote:

RAINBOW
Subject: Re: AWAITING YOUR GOOD NEWS.
----------
Thank you very much for your co-operation. I'll pass one along to Western Onion tomorrow and keep a copy of these for myself, if you know what I mean... Wink

Quote:

ASH
Subject: Re: AWAITING YOUR GOOD NEWS.
----------
ATTENTION

YES I KNOW WHAT YOU MEAN, THANKS YOURS SINCERELY IN SERVICE.

BARRISTER. ASH DUKE.

Wait... you do? And you're okay with this?

And since he said I'd doubled the money instead of tripled, it's went down to $220. Oops!

Just to be extra annoying, I ask a question.

Quote:

RAINBOW
Subject: Re: AWAITING YOUR GOOD NEWS.
----------
Mmmm, yeah, I bet you know what I mean. Wink

But, uh, sorry... I went down to Western Onion today and their computers were down, so they couldn't access the record of our transaction. I handed in the $220 though and they said that they'll add it to the total when their system is back up and running.

But I gotta ask — what does MTCN stand for anyways?

Quote:

ASH
Subject: Re: AWAITING YOUR GOOD NEWS.
----------
ATTENTION :

IN RESPOND TO YOUR MAIL, YOU SAID YOU WENT TO THE WESTERN UNION TODAY AND THEIR COMPUTERS WAS VERY DAWN THAT THEY DIDN'T HAVE ACCESS TO RECORD THE TRANSFER BUT YOU HAVE HANDED $ 220 TO THEM SO THAT WHEN THEIR SYSTEM IS BACK THEY WILL ADDED IT TO THE TOTAL AND SEND, I UNDERSTAND EVERYTHING OK, ACCORDING TO WHAT YOU ASKED WHAT DOES MTCN STAND FOR, MTCN MEANS MONEY TRANSFER CONTROL NUMBER, MY DEAR DASH I LOVE PEOPLE LIKE WHO ALWAYS WANT TO LEARN WHAT THEY DIDN'T KNOW, BECAUSE NO ONE IS PERFECT IN THIS WORLD, YOU CAN ALSO TEACH ME WHAT I DIDN'T KNOW, HOPE YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN SO KEEP IT UP IS GOOD, AWAITING YOUR RESPONSE TOMORROW WITH MTCN THANKS YOURS SINCERELY IN SERVICE.

BARRISTER. ASH DUKE.

I don't reply for four days and then come back with this excuse.

Quote:

RAINBOW
Subject: Re: AWAITING YOUR GOOD NEWS.
----------
Sorry for being silent for the past few days: I was out walking around and a pack of wild dogs attacked me. I had to be kept in hospital for three days to be observed for signs of rabies. I'm in the clear, thankfully.

Ohai, Nancy!

Quote:

NANCY
Subject: Good night.
----------
Good evening my dearest Dash,

Happy new week, how are you doing today, how is your work together with your health hope God is taking very good care of you for me if so thank be to God almighty.

Sweet sister i want to know how far you have gone with the lawyer, have you send him the MTCN number, please try and write to me, i am missing your mail, i will be very happy to read from you, please extend my greetings to everyone around you OK.

Good night and have a nice dream, yours forever beloved sweet sister Nancy.

Quote:

RAINBOW
Subject: Re: Good night.
----------
I finally managed to get something from him that'll allow me to get the MTCN from Western Onion. I don't know why the EDPS makes them have rules for transferring funds, but that's the way it is — nothing I can do about it.

You'll be out of that camp soon. Good thing you were able to afford not just one, but two lawyers, eh? Too bad one of them turned out to be a killer in disguise. I hope he's caught like a snake in a rat trap with flamethrowers and spikes!

Quote:

NANCY
Subject: Good morning.
----------
Good morning my dearest Dash,

How are you doing today, how is your work and your health hope everything is fine with you over there in your country if so thanks be to God.

I am very happy to read from you this morning that you have finally go something from him which the western union will use to give the MTCN thanks be to God and thank you too sweet sister, i am so happy to hear that from you.

Thank you so much for your effort, caring, love and your ability of helping me to come out from the camp, may God reward and continue to bless you for me amen, i can't wait to meet with you over there in your country so that we will enjoy and celebrate the Christmas together with your family.

I am waiting for your response to my mail today that you have got the MTCN from the western union, have a blessed day, yours beloved sweet sister Nancy.

Quote:

RAINBOW
Subject: Re: Good morning.
----------
Their computer system was down, so I couldn't send anything. But I gave them another $220 and said to add it to the $110 I was going to send originally. That means I'm sending over $330! Now am I awesome or what?

Christmas? Oh yeah! I didn't know what you meant for a second there. See, over here we call it Hearth's Warming. My favourite time of the year! In fact, me and my friends, Twilight, Pinkie, Fluttershy, Rarity, and Applejack will be taking part in a play over in Canterlot! Maybe once the date's confirmed, I can get you tickets so you can come watch us. I'll be playing the part of Commander Hurricane. It's a play about the history of Equestria and how Hearth's Warming came about. It's gonna be awesome! But not as awesome as having you over here. You can totally stay in my house in Cloudsdale. I got a spare room for ya. Of course, we could always double up in my bed... Wink

Quote:

NANCY
Subject: My heart is full of joy.
----------
Good morning my lovely Dash,

How are you doing today hope you slept like a new born baby last night, How is your work and your health hope everything is fine with you over there in your country if so then thanks be to God.

Oh my lovely dearest Dash thanks so much, i don't know were to start to thank you for what you are doing to me, you put smiles in my face, you gave me joy and hope, may God reward you back amen.

You said their computer system was very down that makes you couldn't send anything, but you have giving another $220 to add into $110 you gave them before to make it $330 i am so happy, the lawyer told me about it thank you once again.

Sweet sister please have you gone back to the western union since then because i know you don't normally have chance please just try and make up your time today and go to the western union and collect the MTCN from them OK.

You said when i come to your country i will stay in your house in Cloudsdale that you got a spare room for me Oh my God thanks so much, i can't wait to come and see you and your friends Twilight, Pinkie, Fluttershy, Rarity, and Applejack when it will be taking part in a play over in Canterlot, thats nice i love it.

Please when you confirm the date don't forget to invite me so that i will come and watch you and also enjoy the hearts warming with you as you said it is your favorite time of the year, you said you will be playing the part of Commander Hurricane that it is a play about the history of Equestria and how Hearth's Warming came about, i will love to enjoy it with you and your friends OK.

Beloved sister please let your response today be a good news for me that you have got the MTCN from the western union OK, have a blessed day, yours beloved sweet sister Nancy.

Nice copy/paste of my e-mail, there. All names were in the exact same order and spelled correctly. And to "prove" she read it, she gives me a basic rundown of what I just sent her. Yes, I know what bullshit I sent you, thanks. At least you wasted some time reading through it. Kind of.

Then, she realises I had been in hospital.

Quote:

NANCY
Subject: Very sorry OK.
----------
Good day my dearest Dash,

Oh my God i am really sorry OK, my sprite (sprite? A fairy? A small bitmap image? The soft drink?) tells me that something bad has happen to you, that is why i haven't read from you for some days very sorry OK, so how are you doing now hope you have getting better and alright if so then let give thanks to God almighty. i am very sorry once again.

Hoping to read from you soonest, yours lovely sweet sister Nancy.

Quote:

NANCY
Subject: Re: AWAITING YOUR GOOD NEWS.
----------
Good evening my dearest Dash,

How are you doing today, how is your health hope you are recovering from your sickness, i am so worry about you thinking of your health, i am praying for you for quick recovering in Jesus name amen.

I contacted the lawyer to know if he have heard from you he said yes that you send him MTCN number day before yesterday but the number is not complete.

Sweet sister please i will like you to check the number you sent to him OK, please try and make up your and write to me so that i will know how you are doing over there in your country OK, i am missing your lovely mail.

Check the MTCN number and resend it to him OK, good night and have a nice dream, yours beloved sister Nancy.

Ah, yes. A throwaway comment about my health, then three lines about the damn money. I could have been infected with rabies, yet all you care about is money!

Quote:

RAINBOW
Subject: Re: AWAITING YOUR GOOD NEWS.
----------
I've gave him the MTCN number. The first time, they gave me the number with only nine digits. So, I had to go back and ask for it again. I even counted to make sure that time. I'm waiting on the lawyer to get back to me about the $330.

How are you doing, anyway? You been feeling okay? It sucks that I can't do anything to get you out of there faster. But once you're out and living with me, you're going to forget all about your troubles! My friend, Pinkie Pie, is just dying to meet you.

And I found out when we'll be performing the pantomime, "History of Equestria". It's on the 17th of December with rehearsals starting on December 1st.. With any luck, you'll be here in time for it. Just as long as you don't arrive on the day, otherwise, there would be no time to settle you in before you get dragged off to Canterlot.

Later!

Quote:

NANCY
Subject: Re: AWAITING YOUR GOOD NEWS.
----------
Good morning my dearest Dash,

How are you doing today, hope you are fine, i am very happy to read from you this morning, please try your possible best go back and complete MTCN number from them and send it to the lawyer, you know this thing has been delayed so much, please make sure you go to the western union today OK.

You said your friend Pinkie Pie is dying to meet me Oh i can't wait any longer to meet them and enjoy the History of Equestria with you and your friends, you said it will start on December 17th that's nice.

Sweet sister please with my condition and my situation here in the camp, help me go to the western union today and correct the 10 digits number from them please, i want you to make me feel happy today with your good news that you have send the lawyer complete MTCN number OK.

Sweet sister by spacial grace of God i will be in your country and celebrate the History of Equestria with you this December, please inform me when you send the lawyer the 10 digits number today OK, try and make everything works out today so that by Monday next week the lawyer can receive the money and start processing the documents immediately then after that i will start coming to meet you over there in your country for us to enjoy and celebrate the History of Equestria together.

I am waiting to read from you today that you have got the complete MTCN 10 digits number today OK, have a blessed day and enjoyable weekend, yours forever beloved sweet sister Nancy.

Quote:

RAINBOW
Subject: Re: AWAITING YOUR GOOD NEWS.
----------
You like repeating yourself, don'tcha? But yeah, with Celestia's blessing, you'll be here with me and you'll have an awesome time!

Anyway, I went to the Western Onion Bank a couple of days ago and gave Mr... oh, what was his name again? Ash Ketchum? Duke Nukem? Oh! Ash Duke! Yeah, I gave Mr. Ass Duke the proper MTCN (this one actually had ten digits like it's supposed to). If he doesn't respond today, I'll send him an e-mail just in case he forgot. I mean, he's a lawyer, so he'll be pretty busy doing lawery-type stuff.

I gotta go now. Twilight wants me to do something.

Later, babe!

Quote:

NANCY
Subject: Re: AWAITING YOUR GOOD NEWS.
----------
Good day my dearest Dash,

How are you doing hope you are fine, i am not happy, what is this thing i am hearing that the MTCN in not correct, the lawyer contacted me now telling me that the MTCN is a wrong number, he said i should tell you to forward him the payment receipt.

I am not feeling happy, please make me happy, good night yours beloved sister Nancy.

I'm not happy 'til you're not happy.

Quote:

RAINBOW
Subject: Re: AWAITING YOUR GOOD NEWS.
----------
I've sent him the receipt. That should cool his jets.

I'm not trying to make you unhappy. Seriously, I'm doing everything I can to get the money to the lawyer and to help you. Everypony else just seems to be messing up. It's like they're trying to keep us from meeting up. Say... do you or the lawyer have any enemies? If you do, they might be paying off people to mess this up. Just a thought.

Watch your back.

Quote:

NANCY
Subject: Re: AWAITING YOUR GOOD NEWS.
----------
Good day my dearest Dash,

I am not feeling happy, this money has been delayed so much, i am so worried, you are asking me if i have enemy, sweet sister enemies has nothing to do with sending money, i don't have any enemy because i always good to people here in the camp.

Sweet sister please try and make sure everything works out this week, but this is just a simple thing, MTCN number is not good then why can't you go back to the western union and tell them to know what is wrong.

I don't know why this is delaying like this as if is big a thing, if possible shout at them because they don't know work (Shout at them? Yeah, okay. They don't know work? Are you saying that to be ironic?), western union is very simple and easy thing, you gave them money they send it and give you the reciept i mean the informantion, mostly the important one is MTCN number.

Sweet sister please go and settled this problem with the western union once and for all, waiting for your response to my mail, have a nice day, yours beloved sister Nancy.

Quote:

RAINBOW
Subject: Re: AWAITING YOUR GOOD NEWS.
----------
Dear sister,

I was just wondering if anyone had a grudge against you or whatever. I'm glad nopony does.

I've sent the lawyer the receipt twice (I don't know why he wants to see it). I've even given him the MTCN, but he says it doesn't work. But I've sent him the link to a secure money transfer site (more on that in a bit). All he has to do is fill in a couple of questions and then he can send the information along to Western Onion (or whatever bank he wants to pick up the money from). He can go there, state his username and password and they'll hand over the money. That should settle it once and for all.

I'm doing everything I can to get this done. We're getting close to Hearth's Warming, but things keep going wrong. It's frustrating the heck out of me!

Quote:

ASH
Subject: ATTENTION.
----------
ATTENTION :

MY CLIENT DASH I THOUGHT AS MUCH, I HAVE BEEN WONDERING WHAT KEPT YOU SILENT FOR THE PAST FEW DAYS NOT KNOWING YOU ARE AT THE HOSPITAL, VERY SORRY OK, I DON'T KNOW IF YOU HAVE GOTTEN MTCN NUMBER OR NOT, HAVE A GREAT DAY.

YOURS SINCERELY IN SERVICE.

BARRISTER. ASH DUKE.

Quote:

RAINBOW
Subject: Re: ATTENTION.
----------
I was found to be okay, but that was probably thanks to the drugs they gave me while in the hospital. Speaking of which, did you know that the anti-rabies drugs they give you have all sorts of weird side effects? In my case, they left me disoriented. Unfortunately, this made me delete all of my email accidentally, and I need the payment instructions again. Sorry, but it's not really my fault. I was spaced out and didn't know what I was doing. :/ Well, at least I'm not dead. Then you'd never get the money.

Oh, silly me!

Quote:

ASH
Subject: Re: ATTENTION.
----------
ATTENTION :

MY DEAR DASH I DON'T KNOW WHAT IS REALLY HAPPENING BUT GOD KNOWS THE MORE, SORRY FOR THE ACCIDENTAL DELETING, HERE IS THE ONE YOU SENT TO ME WHICH YOU USE TO MADE THE PAYMENT, THE ONLY THING WHICH IS HOLDING US IS MTCN. ALL YOU HAVE TO DO TODAY IS TO GO THE WESTERN UNION AND CORRECT THE MTCN FROM AS YOU HAVE GIVING THEM ALL THE INFORMATION AND MONEY.
1.MTCN(Reference number).................................................

2.SENDER’S NAME & ADDRESS……………………….. Rainbow Danger Dash/419 Nimbus Road, Cloudsdale, Equestria

3.RECEIVER’S NAME & ADDRESS………………………… Phillip Clement/48 Avenue Lamine Gueye International Airport Road, Dakar Senegal
TRY YOUR POSSIBLE BEST AND FINISH EVERYTHING TODAY. THANKS YOURS SINCERELY IN SERVICE.

BARRISTER. ASH DUKE.

Quote:

RAINBOW
Subject: Re: ATTENTION
----------
Thanks, man. I made a visit to Western Onion today (still feeling a little dizzy from the drugs). I highlighted it so that it'll be hard for people to read the information. You never know who could be looking over your shoulder when you open up this e-mail. You might have to get a bit close to the screen to read it. Honestly, it's readable if you get close enough.

(I made the text yellow and highlighted it in slightly off-yellow. And since his e-mail background is most likely white, he'd have to strain to see it. Unless, of course, he highlighted it with his mouse. Hopefully, he didn't.)

1.MTCN(Reference number): 133795153
2.SENDER’S NAME & ADDRESS: Rainbow Danger Dash/419 Nimbus Road, Cloudsdale, Equestria
3.RECEIVER’S NAME & ADDRESS: Phillip Clement/48 Avenue Lamine Gueye International Airport Road, Dakar Senegal

That should get the $330 winging its way to you, yeah? What next?

Quote:

ASH
Subject: Re: ATTENTION.
----------
ATTENTION:

MY DEAR CLIENT DASH, HOW ARE YOU DOING HOPE YOU ARE GETTING BETTER TODAY, I GOT THE MTCN BUT IS NINE IN NUMBER INSTEAD OF TEN, PLEASE CHECK THE MTCN REFERENCE NUMBER AND RESEND IT BACK TO ME NOW SO THAT I WILL GO TO THE BANK IMMEDIATELY OK, I AM WAITING TO YOUR RESPONSE THANKS YOURS SINCERELY IN SERVICE.

BARRISTER. ASH DUKE.

For some reason, the words "MTCN REFERENCE NUMBER AND RESEND IT BACK TO ME NOW SO THAT I WILL GO TO THE BANK IMMEDIATELY OK, I AM WAITING TO YOUR RESPONSE" were in the same yellow text, off-yellow highlight that I used. Is he mocking me? And yeah, the MTCN was only nine numbers. Oh dear.

Quote:

ASH
Subject: Re: ATTENTION.
----------
ATTENTION :

THE MTCN NUMBER IS NOT CORRECT, THE ONE YOU SENT TO ME IS NINE INSTEAD OF TEN, MAYBE YOU MADE A MISTAKE WHEN WRITING IT JUST CHECK THEM VERY WELL AND RESEND IT BACK TO ME OR YOU CAN SEND ME THE PAYMENT RECEIPT OK, AWAITING YOUR URGENT RESPONSE.

BARRISTER.ASH DUKE

Quote:

NANCY
Subject: send it to the barrister ash duke now. (Say "please" and I'll consider it.)
----------
Good evening ,

please i don't understand your mail, you said you gave him the ten digits like it's supposed to, but i contacted the lawyer now to know if he have heard from you he said no that he have never heard or read from you.

Please you are hurting me, OK send it to me also please, i don't know why MTCN number is just delaying like this, you have send the money then send the MTCN number to Barrister Ash Duke so that he will use it and correct the money from the western union.

That is the only thing that is delaying now, Sweet sister please or you can send it to me then i will go and give it to the lawyer, send it to the lawyer now please my beloved sister.

Good night, yours sweet sister Nancy.

Quote:

RAINBOW
Subject: Re: send it to the barrister ash duke now.
----------
Seriously? I know for certain that I sent it. I remember doing it. Maybe it got hacked? I'll send it again. Again, it's sent like this for security. Remember, you can read it if you get close enough to the screen. Like, real close.

(The same yellow/off-yellow combo from before.)

1.MTCN(Reference number): 1337951538
2.SENDER’S NAME & ADDRESS: Rainbow Danger Dash/419 Nimbus Road, Cloudsdale, Equestria
3.RECEIVER’S NAME & ADDRESS: Philip Clement/48 Avenue Lamine Gueye International Airport Road, Dakar Senegal

Quote:

NANCY
Subject: Re: send it to the barrister ash duke now.
----------
Good day my dearest Dash,

How are you doing hope you are fine, i am not happy, what is this thing i am hearing that the MTCN in not correct, the lawyer contacted me now telling me that the MTCN is a wrong number, he said i should tell you to forward him the payment receipt.

I am not feeling happy, please make me happy, good night yours beloved sister Nancy.

Ash man's got the MTCN, as he says here.

Quote:

ASH
Subject: I HAVE GOT IT
----------
ATTENTION :

I HAVE GOT THE MTCN YOU SENT TO ME NOW, I WILL UPDATE YOU WHEN I RECEIVE THE MONEY OK, THANKS. YOURS SINCERELY IN SERVICE.

BARRISTER. ASH DUKE.

It would appear the MTCN is incorrect. My goodness! What is going on?

Quote:

ASH
Subject: send me the payment receipt
----------
now i want you to send me the payment receipt which you use to send the money.

(Insert his multi-coloured header here.)

ATTENTION :

WHY ARE YOU PLAYING WITH ME, WHAT IS THE MEANING OF THIS THING YOU JUST DID, WHY DID YOU SEND ME SUCH MTCN NUMBER, WHY DASH, WHY DID YOU SENT THIS (The rest was black text with a cream-coloured highlighter for no reason whatsoever)INCORRECT MTCN(Reference number): 1337951538 TO ME, I HAVE WENT TO MANY WESTERN UNION AND NOTHING IS THERE, DASH WHY, IS IT A MISTAKE OR WHAT, YOU HAVE MADE ME TO LEAVE MY OFFICE JUST FOR NOTHING WHY, MY DEAR I HAVE NOTHING TO SAY, BUT THANKS FOR MAKING ME A MAD MAN TODAY.

BARRISTER.AS DUE.

I sincerely hope he did spend a good part of his day fruitlessly wandering from WU outlet to WU outlet.

Quote:

RAINBOW
Subject: Re: send me the payment receipt
----------
Hey, it's not my fault they're not accepting it! But if you want the receipt, then fine. It's attached. Don't blame me for their incompetence. Or yours.

Now listen, there's one final thing we could try to get the money through, if you're willing. Let me know.

I sent him this.

Blurry WU receipt again from the always-helpful Scambaiting Toolbox

Quote:

ASH
Subject: Re: send me the payment receipt
----------
ATTENTION :

MY DEAR I DON'T KNOW THE REASON WHY YOU ARE DELAYING THIS THING, I CAN'T SEE ANYTHING IN THE RECEIPT, WHAT KIND OF WESTERN UNION IS THAT DOESN'T KNOW HOW TO SEND MONEY OR TO GIVE YOU GOOD CLEAR RECEIPT, MY DEAR I AM TIRED OF YOUR SENDING MONEY HOW CAN YOU BE MAKING AS IF I AM SMALL BOY, YOU ARE SAYING IS NOT YOUR FAULT WHO'S FAULT IS IT, JUST LOOK AT THE RECEIPT YOU SEND ME, WHEN YOU ARE TRYING TO SEND THIS TO ME YOUR MIND DIDN'T TELL YOU THAT THIS IS NOT GOOD, MY DEAR IF YOU REALLY SEND MONEY THEN PROVE IT YOURSELF, YOU ARE HURTING THE YOUNG INNOCENT GIRL, NOTHING MORE.

BARRISTER.ASH DUKE.

From this point on, he doesn't bother to put his neon/day-glow coloured header in his e-mails.

Quote:

ASH
Subject: Re: send me the payment receipt
----------
SECONDLY WESTERN UNION DOESNT USE HAND TO WRITE THEY USE MACHINE SO THE RECEIPT WILL BE WRITING WITH MACHINE, AFTER SENDING THE MONEY THEY WILL PRINT IT OUT AND GIVE IT TO YOU SO THAT YOU CAN SEND IT TO THE PERSON YOU ARE SENDING THE MONEY TO, THIS IS ONE MONTH YOU ARE SENDING MONEY STILL NOTHING COMES IS UNFAIR ASKED YOURSELF IS YOU WHAT WILL YOU SAY, WE ARE ALL HUMAN BEING. THNK ABOUT IT.

BARRISTER.ASH DUKE

Quote:

RAINBOW
Subject: Re: send me the payment receipt
----------
Well excuuuuuse me, princess! Sorry that my country doesn't write out receipts the way you want! We happen to do things differently here. Some might even say we're behind the times. And you know something, dude? We like it that way! The scan looked fine when I did it, so I don't know, maybe it got messed up during transmission, or maybe your computer did something, but it was fine when I scanned and sent it.

I'll send it again and I'll double-check it. I'll have my friend, Twilight Sparkle, triple-check it before I send it. If you can't read it, then there's a problem with your computer, or you need glasses. Or better glasses, if you already wear them.

There is one last way we can try. If this doesn't work, I'll think of something else.

They told me about the SPTS (Secure Payment Transfer System). All you have to do is fill a couple of pages out and at the end, you can choose where it's sent to (Western Onion in this case). It'll send the information to Western Onion and they'll have it on their system. Then you can go, state your username and password and you'll get the money. No fuss, no muss. I've already set everything up for you:

Username: ashduke
Password: ibb8ed
Sender's e-mail address: [my baiting e-mail]@gmail.com

http://thespts.ru

Just fill in the spaces, then click Next to... well, go to the next page and keep going until you're done. Alright? Alright. Do it for Nancy. Please.

The SPTS. Another way to waste a scammer's time. Fun!

Quote:

ASH
Subject: URGENT (When I saw that subject line, I hastily waited four days before answering.)
----------
ATENTION'

THE PROBLEM IS NOT HERE, OK SEE WHAT YOU WILL DO NOW CHECK THE MTCN NUMBER IN THE RECEIPT AND THIS ONE IF IS THE SAME THING 1337951538 WAITING FOR YOUR URGENT RESPONSE SO THAT TOMORROW MORNING I CAN GO AND TRY AGAIN, DO IT NOW BECAUSE I CAN'T SEE ANYTHING IN THAT RECEIPT. WAITING.

BARRISTER. ASH DUKE

The following was sent on New Year's Day.

Quote:

RAINBOW
Subject: Re: URGENT
----------
I've tried for several days to get the number, but they keep insisting that's the right MTCN! Flankholes. I've told them that the number doesn't work, that you can't get anything from it. You probably don't want to know this, but they questioned your masculinity, insulted your physique and commented on your rosy-red cheeks. I roffled with them and then left.

But like I said, you can try going to http://thespts.ru

Sign in and then fill in a couple of really easy questions. Twilight says she's done it before. It's no sweat, and she's not even a lawyer. You should breeze through it in, like, 5 minutes.

Username: ashduke
Password: ibb8ed
Sender's e-mail address: [my baiting e-mail]@gmail.com

That should get you the money to help poor Nancy out. But... if that's not important to you... Mad

She's already had one lawyer turn out to be an untrustworthy killer. Can you believe that dude? I mean, he refused to fill in a form! Like, what the buck? Oh, and... tried to kill her, too, I guess.

Two days go by. Nothing. Although I got this:

Quote:

SPTS
Subject: Fwd: Hello
----------
Your lad's been in touch with SPTS!

---------- Forwarded message ----------
From: <[email protected]>
Date: 1 December 2013 06:16
Subject: Hello
To: [email protected]

Your BlueMail form has been completed, following are the results:

Field.....Value
fullname.....Ashduke
[email protected]
phone.....00221765895402
subject.....Hello
baiteremail.....[my baiting e-mail]@gmail.com
user.....ashduke
message.....I have try several times but i can't see anything, now i want to receive the money my partner Rainbow dash sent to me. Barrister.
submitform.....Submit

Quote:

RAINBOW
Subject: Re: URGENT
----------
I've not heard from you for a few days. How are you doing? Have you finished the questions? Did you get the MTCN from the SPTS? Let me know.

Quote:

ASH
Subject: Re: URGENT
----------
ATENTION'

I DIDN'T GOT ANYTHING SO I DECIDED TO KEPT QUIET BECAUSE THIS ISSUE OF MTCN HAS GOT OUT OF HAND, MY DEAR NOTHING TO LET YOU KNOW IT IS A FAILURE, I CAN'T CONTINUE WITH THE SAME ISSUE OF THIS THING SO IF YOU WANT TO SEND MONEY LIKE I TOLD YOUR PATNER NANCY, GO AND COUNCIL THE MONEY AND CALL IT BACK THEN GO TO ANOTHER BANK AND RESEND IT OR YOU USE MONEY GRAM WITH THE SAME INFORMATION OR YOUR PARTNER NAME OR I WILL GIVE YOUR PARTNER BANK ACCOUNT WHICH YOU WILL USE TO SEND THE MONEY BUT I PREFER MONEY GRAM SINCE YOU CAN'T MAKE IT THROUGH WESTERN UNION, THAT IS WHAT I TOLD YOUR PARTNER TO TELL YOU, IF YOU ARE SERIOUS TO SEND THE MONEY THEN DO AS I SAID. THANKS.

BARRISTER.ASH DUKE.

Since you can check your lad's progress on the SPTS, I did that and found that he filled out two pages (a total of ten questions), then gave up. Lazy, lazy lad...

I got distracted for three days at this point.

Posted: Tue Apr 08, 2014 2:25 pm

Quote:

RAINBOW
Subject: Re: URGENT
----------
I got unexpectedly called out of town for a few days, then I come back and see this.

What do you mean, you didn't get anything? What exactly did you do? It's not that hard. Put in the details I gave you, answer the questions they give you (there's not even that many), then at the end, you can choose who to send the money through (Western Onion in this case). Come on, Ash! Don't make me get medieval on your plot! (Plot = ass)

Quote:

ASH
Subject: Re: URGENT
----------
ATTENTION'

I HAVE DONE THAT BUT I DIDN'T GOT ANYTHING

Quote:

RAINBOW
Subject: Re: URGENT
----------
You have done what? I asked you what you did. "I have done that" doesn't give me any information. Do you think if my boss thought I hadn't done any work and I just said "I did do it" he would believe me? Of course not.

Now what exactly did you do? What problem did you run into? Ye gods!

Four days go by with no response. I get sick of him and fire off one more e-mail.

Quote:

RAINBOW
Subject: Re: URGENT
----------
The deal's off, you lazy moron.

And let's get back to Nancy, whom I had been talking to in between wasting Ash's time. Since it's just her now, things are going to get more coherent from this point on.

Quote:

NANCY
Subject: I am crying beloved sister please clean my tears.
----------
Good evening dear Dash,

I am no longer happy anymore what is happening, it is unfair that you don't know how to send someone money through western union, you have put the old man barrister ashduke in a situation that he is not happy with me.

Sister if someone tells me that sending money to the lawyer will take time this way one month and some days i will not believe it, western union and money gram is very easy and common way to send money in any country in the whole world, i don't know why yours is hard like this.

Just today the lawyer went to the bank almost 4 banks to confirm the money still nothing is there, they told him that no money was sent he got very angry and went back to his office, the MTCN number you sent is not correct you even sent nine digit number to him first you sent ten to him not only that, he is talking that the MTCN numbers is not good, you sent incorrect receipt he is still talking that the receipt is not good and you sent again blank receipt Oh my God what is happening for Christ sake.

I am really tired of those things, Sister i am writing you this mail with tears in my eyes if you really want to help me with the name of my God in heaven as you promise, go back to that western union call back the money and council it then you sent it through money gram since is not working, or i will send you bank account which you will use to send the money bank to bank we called it bank transfer, you can go to any bank give them the money with account information then they will transfer the money immediately without wasting of time.

Or you can use money gram and send the money with the lawyers information or you use my name N4ncy Bugib4. address 23 youff line Dakar Senegal and make the payment when i receive the money here then i will go to lawyer's office and gave it to him, remember you promised me that you are going to buy me a ticket to come and celebrate 17decmber with you and your friends, please try and make everything works out next week for us OK, you can send the money with my name OK.

Sweet sister if you love me as your blood beloved sister do it tomorrow so that by monday next week everything will be alight OK, good night and have a nice dream yours beloved sweet sister Nancy Rainbow Dash.

I laughed while reading this e-mail. Walking into four banks is good, but more would have been better. I can just imagine him walking up to the desk, quoting the number, and getting the news that it's not valid, then repeating the process three more times (getting more and more frazzled with each attempt) before giving up and having a tantrum.

Also, the e-mail was sent twice. As usual.

Quote:

RAINBOW
Subject: Re: I am crying beloved sister please clean my tears.
----------
I really don't know what's going on, Nancy. Seriously, I think the people at my Western Onion Bank are evil! They're always wearing these smiles that you can just tell are fake. Whenever you try to get anything from them, they always answer you in a sarcastic way or talk down to you.

I'm gonna try my hardest to get that plane ticket to you! It's not gonna be easy, since I'll be away tomorrow in Canterlot for practicing the Hearth's Warming play. In fact, I gotta go now so I don't miss the train there. I'll talk to you when I can. Keep your spirits up!

Yes, keep your sprites up, Nancy!

Quote:

NANCY
Subject: Re: I am crying beloved sister please clean my tears.
----------
My beloved sister let settle this once so that barrister ashduke will start preparation those documents withing this week so that by next week you will finish paying up the balance to the him so that my late fathers money will be transfered into your account immediately so that i will start coming to your country to live with you,you know this the only thing my late father left for me before the incidents that took away my family and relatives,So my beloved sister am so much thinking about you because you are the only one i have now.

My beloved Sister i am writing you this mail with tears in my eyes if you really want to help me my beloved sister i wish you can go back to that western union call back the money
and council it go to any money gram send the money with my name N4ncy Bugib4 Or you can use money gram and send the money with the lawyers information address 23 youff line Dakar Senegal and make the payment so when i receive money here then i will go to lawyer's office and gave it to him immeditely so that i will come over to your country celebrate the Hearth's Warming play with you and your friends, please try and make everything withing this week and next week for us OK.

My beloved sister do it tomorrow so that by this week and next week we all send all the documents to the bank so that the transation of the money will carried out immediately everything will be alight and we will rejoice forever ok,take good care of your self ok.
Nancy

For some reason, the "Nancy" at the bottom was written in grey. Also, she sent this three seperate times. -_-

Quote:

RAINBOW
Subject: Re: I am crying beloved sister please clean my tears.
----------
Sorry for the silence, I got called out of town for a few days (weather emergency). I was hoping that by the time I came back to Canterlot, Mr. Ash Duke would have just went through the SPTS and gotten the money. But nooooo! It seems he can't be bothered! Let's see if my e-mail to him will get him to... *gasp*... actually do something! I know! Crazy thought, isn't it!?

I'm not trying to hurt you, it's just the SPTS is the most secure way of sending the money. I'd hate to have it intercepted by somepony after all this time, wouldn't you?

I gotta go now. Fluttershy just brushed my shoulder with her wingboner and says she's feeling wet. I need to go attend to her.

Love always. You're my little pony.

Yeah, I went there.

She responds with the next e-mail FOUR TIMES!

Quote:

NANCY
Subject: Re: I am crying beloved sister please clean my tears.
----------
l hope you are fine. My day is very boring over here in Dakar Senegal. In this camp we find it hard to go out because we are not allowed to do so, its just like someone staying in the prison and l hope by God's grace l will come out from this camp soon.

My beloved sister i don't know what to say again am totally confuse over here,the only thing i can promise you about this transaction is once my late father money is transfer into your account over there you are going to recover all your expenses that you made to see that the transaction is successful

So all you have to do my beloved sister is to go to any money gram or another western union money transfer around the city send the money to me so that i will go direct to lawyer office and make the payment to him directly with the lawyer information used my name N4NCY BUGIB4 address 23 youff line dakar senegal and make the payment ok if you trustfully love me and if you trustfully want to have me as your sister forever do this for me because i don't have any other relative is you that i have now that is in position to wipe away my tears once and for all.

If you don't have comply amount write to the lawyer directly being the amount you can be able to afford on till you can finish up the payment to him,so he will know what to do instead of you keeping silents on him so he will know that you are serious,you know this the only thing the bank require from us for the money to be transferred immediately so that our joy will be totally complete OK

Quote:

NANCY
Subject: my sweet sister i love you so much ok
----------
My sweet sister,
how are you doing this morning hope that all is well with you and regarding health and you condition hope that all is perfectly fine with you,honey for me here am just here thinking because of my situation and hope that it will be over soon and i will join you in your country to start a new life with you,honey i want to thank you for all your effort and all your support towards me now and i know that everything will work out good for us very soon.

My beloved sister if you are through with the lawyer try let me know ok i speak with him in the last few days about you concern the preparation of those documents from the federal high court as the bank in London requested it from us before they will transfer my late father's money to your account in your country my sweat sister please try and let me know as soon as you send him the money for the preparation of those documents ok
My beloved sister take a very good care of yourself for me and have a wonderful day and have my lovely kissing.
Your love forever.

Quote:

RAINBOW
Subject: Re: my sweet sister i love you so much ok
----------
Yeah, I'm through with him. He seemed competent until he was asked to answer a few questions on a webpage. It's not like he even has to write anything out by hand, just type answers in. I've recalled the $330 and want to try that other thing you mentioned.

Also, I don't know why he's talking about documents from London. When did that come into play? I don't live in the UK. Our country is somewhat related to it, but we're not a part of it. Does he even know what he's doing? Apparently not.

I'm really not happy right now...

She responded with this. Four times.

Quote:

NANCY
Subject: BELOVED SISTER HAVE A WONDERFUL WEEKEND OK
----------
My Beloved sister,dont be annoyed please just that he was trying to help us for the transation,Am so happy that you have recalled the money back so you can use on the other option by sending the money with my name N4NCY BUGIB4 address 23 youff line dakar senegal and make the payment through the western union or any money gram around you so that it will be very easy for me to receive it over here ok and i believed that our great God will see us through in this situation i appreciate all your effort towards my condition over here,
i will be waiting for your good news on monday so that i will start preparing to come over to your country and spend the rest of my life with you ok

So my sweat sister find a place in your heart to forgive the lawyer may be is just because he is an old man that is why all this is happening ok and is just a man of 65 years old (Really? He told he was 54 years old when he got insulted being called "dude"),my beloved sister dont be offended please I don't want to lose you ok please you are my only hope just any how and anything you know you can do please just do it for me to come over to your country and spend the rest of my life with you ok,use the this informaton to send the money ok

name = N4NCY BUGIB4
address= 23 youff line dakar senegal

Quote:

RAINBOW
Subject: Re: BELOVED SISTER HAVE A WONDERFUL WEEKEND OK
----------
He was trying to help us? What, by not doing what was required of him? Sorry, but I am annoyed. You would probably be here by now, but nooooo!

I'll give Money Gram a try, since I don't trust those Western Onion people anymore. Since we'll be performing History of Equestria every day starting tomorrow until the day before Hearth's Warming Eve (December 23rd), I'm gonna be really busy, but I promise I'll try my hardest to get this all sorted out. In fact, I Pinkie Promise:

Cross my heart
and hope to fly
Stick a cupcake
in my eye

Pinkie Pie came up with that, hence "Pinkie Promise". She'll make sure I keep it, because those kinds of promises are really important to her. For example, this one time, Applejack didn't keep her Pinkie Promise and... actually, never mind... :/

Talk to ya later!

I sent that on December 16th and didn't reply again until December 23rd.

Quote:

NANCY
Subject: My sweet sister dash thank you for your understanding ok
----------
My sweet sister dash,
how is your day going hope great and nice and i want to thank you for your understanding i know that everything will be fine soon and i put my hope and trust in you and i know that you are God sent in my life because you have brough haappiness joy that lost back to my life and i can stop thanking you for all you have done in my life and i hope that everything will work out good for us soonest ok.

My sweet sister dash just any way it will be good for you just go ahead and do it and about to send the money so that i will come over to your country and be with you forever, My regard to your friends Pinkie Pie,Applejack and others

My dear dash please take a very good care of yourself for me and have a wonderful night rest and a lovely dreams.
Yours Nancy.

Quote:

RAINBOW
Subject: Re: My sweet sister dash thank you for your understanding ok
----------
I am so, so, SO SORRY to have kept you waiting, Nancy! I really, truly am! (I love sarcasm.) Please forgive me! I've just been so busy with the play and the Hearth's Warming celebrations, and... oh! I just feel terrible! At least today is the last day we'll be doing the play. I don't know if I'll be able to talk much during the holidays, but I'll do my very best. I'm not the Element of Loyalty for nothing.

I did go to Money Gram today and told them to send the money ($330) as soon as they could.

Name: N4ncy Bugib4
Address: 23 Youff Line,
Dakar,
Senegal
MTCN: 34979484

Again, I am SO SORRY I kept you waiting! Please try to keep your spirits up. You might not be able to get here for Hearth's Warming, but maybe at some point next month? It would be awesome to have you here before winter is over.

Hopefully talk to you later,

Rainbow Dash

Quote:

NANCY
Subject: Urgent.
----------
Good morning my dear Dash,

How are you doing today hope you are doing fine, i am very happy to hear you have made the payment today through money gram but i went to the bank to correct the money and they told me that the money would not be receive here in Senegal.

I am very confuse and came back to write to you so that you can go back to the bank now and tell them to write on it that it will be receive in Senegal so that i will go back now and correct the money from Money gram OK, please do it now, i understand there will be no chance for you but please i beg you with tears on my eyes to make out your time and do it now for me.

Please i will be waiting to read from you now, the money is there but i cannot correct it because they wrote on it that it will not be receive here in Senegal so all i am asking you is to go back and rewrite on it, it be receive in Senegal OK, thanks once again i am waiting, yours beloved sweet sister Nancy.

Quote:

RAINBOW
Subject: Re: Urgent.
----------
Hey, so sorry to be out of contact for so long. Hearth's Warming season and everything. I hope you had a nice Hearth's Warming, regardless of your situation.

I corrected the money transfer location. It should be correct, now.

How have you been? Are you okay? Everything going alright?

Quote:

NANCY
Subject: Re: Urgent.
----------
Good day my dear Dash,

I am not happy upon my situation i have been working up and dawn since morning as if i don't have anybody again in my life while i have someone like you, please i am tired of all this things that been happening to me, you said you have corrected the mistake that the money will now be receive here in Senegal and i went to the bank with happiness that the money will be giving to me today and they told me again that it will not be receive because they have not activated it to Senegal, sweet sister what is happening to me why cant your bank just collect simple mistake, why cant they activate the money so that i will receive it here, told them to activate it pay in Senegal OK, Sweet sister you need to see how disgrace i am today when they told me that the money have not been activated.

I happy you enjoy the Hearth's Warming season, for me i didn't because i am thinking on how to come over there in your country to stay with and enjoy our life together, i am thinking about you all the time i cant wait to meet you, please make me happy by going back and make sure everything will be resolve today, tell them that the person cant correct the because they haven't activated it to Senegal, just activated pay in Senegal simple, waiting to read from you, my regards to your friends, have a nice day, yours Nancy.

Quote:

NANCY
Subject: Re: Urgent.
----------
Evening dear Dash,

How are you doing today hope you are doing fine, Dear was it mean you haven't activated the money pay in Senegal, i don't understand why you are delaying this to me, i am not happy, is almost two weeks you sent money but i haven't got it here why.

Well my greetings to your friends Pinkie Pie, Applejack, Rarity, Fluttershy and Twilight Sparkle, know it that your sweet Nancy is not happy, have a nice dream, Nancy.

You're not happy? Hooray!

Quote:

RAINBOW
Subject: Re: Urgent.
----------
This is starting to get on my nerves. Are you sure the money hasn't arrived? I could've sworn I'd sent it. That's weird. I'll go check Money Grab at some point later this week. Could you double check too and let me know?

Look, I'll even attach a scan of the payment receipt.

Let me know, babe.

Receipt courtesy of... well, you can probably guess by now.

Quote:

NANCY
Subject: Re: Urgent.
----------
Good day my beloved sweet sister,

How are you doing today hope you are doing great, the scan copy of the payment receipt you sent is very small and blank i can't see anything in it, sweet sister you don't need to be nerves because you are helping your beloved sister baby OK.

Open your mind to me OK, the problem and why all this delay is from you because of chance, if you make out your time for me everything will be settle, make the payment receipt bold and resend it to me, i am wondering if this is hard to do or what.

They gave you bold payment receipt but here is blank and small, the problem is from your attachment, make it big/bold and send it again to me, i am waiting and try and go back to the bank today collect the mistake pay in Senegal, i am really tried.

Have nice day, Nancy.

I "don't need to be nerves"?

On New Year's Day, she sent me this.

Quote:

NANCY
Subject: happy new year
----------
Good morning my dear Dash ,

How was your night hope you woke up with big smiles on your face to see the bright beautiful morning of first January new year 2014, if so let give thanks to him, how is your work and your health hope you are very strong for me. my 31 celebration with my fellow refugees was so sweet, hope you went to church yesterday night.

While we were busy crying God is smiling, He is smiling because He knows where our story will end, He is smiling because He knows the story of our life is about to change, He is smiling because He knows its our turn to be happy for life, He is smiling because He is about to put a stop to our suffering and put a permanent smile on our face, God is smiling because its our turn this new year, Honey it is our turn to get those things that seems impossible, He is about to turn our pains to gain, our tests to testimony and our painful story to an envious glory, remember delay is never a denial, it is our turn right now because its God's time, those who rejected us and loose hope on us will be forced to rejoice with us this year. never lose hope on God, because HE never give up on you it is never over if we are still alive, always remember that our present situation is final destination. God has a plan for our life, God will see us through this year 2014 IN Jesus name amen, what is impossible will become possible to us amen, backward never forward ever.

I am very glad that everything has come to an end, glory to be God, have a blessed day and always think about me while celebrating the new year over there OK, i missed you so much, yours lovely sweet sister Nancy.

(This was attached)

Well, clipping art off the Internet is what they're best at, I guess.

Quote:

RAINBOW
Subject: Re: happy new year
----------
Hello, Nancy. Happy Year's Beginning!

I'm sorry to hear you were crying. But I'm going to make sure you never cry again. I promise you, Cloudsdale is 20% cooler than anything you've seen before. You'll have so much fun when you get here! And we could even get you a job, too. Maybe with me or one of my (and soon to be your) friends. Like, you could bake cakes at Sugarcube Corner with Pinkie Pie, work at Sweet Apple Acres with Applejack, make dresses with Rarity, take care of the animals with Fluttershy, help out at the Golden Oak Library with Twilight Sparkle, or be a Weather Patroller like me. Or if none of those take your fancy, Nancy, we'll see what else there is for you.

Have a good rest of the year!

Quote:

NANCY
Subject: Re: happy new year
----------
Morning dear,

How are you doing today hope you are doing fine, Dear was it mean you haven't activated the money to pay in Senegal, i don't understand why you are delaying this to me, i am not happy, is almost two weeks you sent money but i haven't got it here why.

Well my greetings to your friends Pinkie Pie, Applejack, Rarity, Fluttershy and Twilight Sparkle, know it that your i am not happy, have a nice day, Nancy.

Yeah, yeah, you're not happy. Blah blah blah. Would you mind keeping it down? I'm trying to see what's on TV tonight.

And she informs me of the small MoneyGram receipt again.

Quote:

NANCY
Subject: Urgent....
----------
Good day my beloved sweet sister,

How are you doing today hope you are doing great, the scan copy of the payment receipt you sent is very small and blank i can't see anything in it, sweet sister you don't need to be nerves because you are helping your beloved sister baby OK.

Open your mind to me OK, the problem and why all this delay is from you because of chance, if you make out your time for me everything will be settle, make the payment receipt bold and resend it to me, i am wondering if this is hard to do or what.

They gave you bold payment receipt but here is blank and small, the problem is from your attachment, make it big/bold and send it again to me, i am waiting and try and go back to the bank today correct the mistake pay in Senegal, i am really tried.

Have nice day, Nancy

Quote:

RAINBOW
Subject: Re: Urgent....
----------
What do you mean the scan is small and blank? It has writing on it and was very big on my 320x200 CRT monitor. Even bigger than Soarin's... er... "asset" (if you know what I mean). Anyway, enough comparing the size of a stallion's pen0r to a scan image, what do you mean by "[making] the payment receipt bold"? You can't bold an image, only text. Oh, Nancy, you're so silly! Very Happy

This isn't hard to do, no. Everypony else is making it hard (that's what she said)! Man, this is just frustrating! I'm gonna go clop to some R34 to relieve my stress. I'll see what I can do afterwards.

Quote:

NANCY
Subject: I am unhappy. (Okay, I get it!)
----------
Good day my dear Dash,

Hope you are doing fine, yes what you sent to me is very small i can't see anything in it, i attached it back to you, just look what you sent to me, atachement is very simple to do, all you need is to take it to a cyber and do the atachement there OK, my beloved sister if you can council it so that i will give you account information to do it bank to bank i think is better than all this stress.

I am no more comfortable with the money gram, first i went they told me the money can not be receive here in Senegal, second time they told me that the money have not been activated, i am very tired for all this stress, how can you send money to Senegal and it can be receive, if you cant solve the problem then council it.

Have lovely day, Nancy.

I get the e-mail again, this time with a different subject and a little addition.

Quote:

NANCY
Subject: open it in a computer and see what you sent to me. i am unhappy,. (I think she's trying to tell me how she's feeling, but I'm not sure I understand.)
----------
Good day my dear Dash,

Hope you are doing fine, yes what you sent to me is very small i can't see anything in it, i attached it back to you, just look what you sent to me, atachement is very simple to do, all you need is to take it to a cyber and do the atachement there OK, my beloved sister if you can council it so that i will give you account information to do it bank to bank i think is better than all this stress.

I am no more comfortable with the money gram, first i went they told me the money can not be receive here in Senegal, second time they told me that the money have not been activated, i am very tired for all this stress, how can you send money to Senegal and it can be receive, if you cant solve the problem then council it.

Have lovely day, Nancy.

2 Attachments

[Two copies of the MoneyGram receipt I sent her.]

Quote:

RAINBOW
Subject: Re: open it in a computer and see what you sent to me. i am unhappy,.
----------
Darn, my boss is riding my flank! That's totally why it's taken me so long to respond. Good thing she's cute...

I did look at it on my computer. Like I said, on my modern Pentium 60 (although I'd love a Pentium 90), at a screen resolution of 320x200, it shows up fine. Maybe the computer you're using is an old, outdated one, I dunno.

And what's this about cybering? You saying you wanna... cyber with me? A bit keen there, eh, Nancy Pants? Wink

Sure we can. What IM you wanna use? Yeehaw? Flype?

Also, how do you council money? I have to give it advice, now? If so, it's spelled "counsel" in that context. Otherwise, you mean I have to... turn it into a group of people who give advice...

On to actually sending the money -- what do you propose we do now? I've tried nothing and I'm all out of ideas.

I bet you're all jealous of my computer! I even have Windows 98 installed!

Quote:

RAINBOW
Subject: Re: open it in a computer and see what you sent to me. i am unhappy,.
----------
Nancy, what's going on? I haven't heard from you in a while. Is everything okay? Do you have a plan on how I can send the money?

Please reply, girl.

Quote:

NANCY
Subject: MY SWEAT SISTER READ FROM ME OK LOVE YOU MUCH.........
----------
my sweat sister i am thinking of it right now just that i can i send to account number so that you can send the money through it, i mean bank to bank ok if you are ok with it i will send to you the account number immediately.........OR.....

You go back to that money gram where you send the money tell them to ACTIVATE the money so that i can receiver the money here in dakar senegal please.try and go there check the address very well ok so that after the activation there will be know mistake ok am aiting for your quick respond ok
this is the address
NAME...n4ncy bugib4
address....23 youff line Dakar Senegal

Quote:

RAINBOW
Subject: Re: MY SWEAT SISTER READ FROM ME OK LOVE YOU MUCH.........
----------
I went to Monkeygram and told them to ACTIVATE the money I had deposited for you, but they said it's been picked up. I asked who and they said a Mr. Gomer had picked it up. Do you know a Mr. Gomer? Why didn't you mention him before? Anyway, you'll want to go talk to him, since he's got the $330.

Much love to you, my sweaty sister. <3

Oh noes! Dolla chopped!

Quote:

NANCY
Subject: my eye is full of tears my sweet sister.......... (Could she ham this up any more?)
----------
my beloved sister i see your mails this morning my my eye is full of tears am crying s since then i dont know mr gomer i dont even know him to be honest..So what can we do now i really want to come over there and start a new life and start working over there and as you can see now even international passport i dont know if can assist me on that i will be very happy at least before second week of February i will be with you in your country ok

Quote:

RAINBOW
Subject: Re: my eye is full of tears my sweet sister..........
----------
Yeah, having you here for Hearts and Hooves Day on the 14th February would be sweet!

So you don't know this Gomer guy, huh? Who in the hay is he, then? Whoever he is, he's got the money. Nothing we can do about that now... but we could try a bank wire transfer. Give me your details and I'll set everything up for ya. Nopony should have to go through what you are, though.

Love, Dashie.

Hearts and Hooves Day = Valentine's Day. Although you probably figured that out.

Quote:

NANCY
Subject: My sweet sister this is account information
----------
My sweat sister to do the passport here is 270 dollers if i want send the money send it through this account information ok,my sweet lovely sister i appreciate all your effort towards my presents condition here may the all mighty God reward you more abundantly and as you make up your mind to help me out from this camp my prayer is that you will never lack in your life ok and please don't forget to send me the payment receipt OK. below is the account Information.

Adresse: de uba senegal Route des almadies zone 12 lot D
Name: MUSA CUTHIA SCOH
Bank Name: UBA
Code banque: Sn153
Code guichet: 01301
Account number: 301010021956
Rib: 94
Code swift: UNAFSNDA

Inform me when you make the payment OK, thanks

Bank information? Sweet! I have a friend called alan who loves that kind of thing! I made sure to send that information along to him. Oh, and this was sent FIVE TIMES! I think she wants me to send the money this way.

Quote:

RAINBOW
Subject: Re: My sweet sister this is account information
----------
Hey, sorry to take SO LONG to respond. Got called out of town on short notice last Monday and wasn't able to get back until yesterday. I gotta ask, though. What do you mean "here is 270 dollars"? I'm sending you 330 dollars. Are you trying to send me money just so I can send it back? Could you explain it a bit more, please?

Quote:

RAINBOW
Subject: Re: My sweet sister this is account information
----------
Why haven't you responded, Nancy? Are you angry with me? I didn't know I was going to get called away. Blame the Cloudsdale Metro Office bosses.

Just transferred the $330. See the attachment for the form.

(Fake bank form)

Quote:

RAINBOW
Subject: Re: My sweet sister this is account information
----------
Nancy, where are you?

No response for a few days. I get worried she's twigged and dropped me.

I try one last e-mail. On Feb. 14th. How romantic.

Quote:

RAINBOW
Subject: Re: My sweet sister this is account information
----------
Happy Hearts and Hooves Day, Nancy. <3

Wow, it worked! But not for long...

Quote:

NANCY
Subject: Happy val.
----------
Good day my dear Dash,

How are you doing today, hope you are doing very fine, happy valentine, hope you enjoyed it well with your friends, Sweet sister is not that i am angry with you, if you understand my predicament here at the camp you will know what i mean.

I am happy that you have transferred the money to the account, thanks so much, after reading your mail i went to the bank with the owner of the Account to know if the money have arrived, the bank manager said no that the money is not yet arrive.

My beloved sweet sister, now i want to ask you like how many days will it take to reach here in Senegal, you paid it on Tuesday 11/02/2014 and today is Saturday the money is not yet arrive why, please tell me how many days will it take.

I missed you so much, we just finish our fasting and prayer today, have a blessed and joyful valentine weekend, yours beloved sister Nancy Dash.

Quote:

RAINBOW
Subject: Re: Happy val.
----------
Yep, I enjoyed Hearts and Hooves Day. Especially with Fluttershy, if you know what I mean. We've been very close friends for a long time, if you know what I mean. We totally didn't not have no sex, if you know what I mean.

The money's not arrived yet? I could've sworn they sent it. I'll check at my next earliest convenience.

And what's this? "Nancy Dash"? Whoa, we're not married yet, Nancy-kins! Oh, you're such a joker. And so am I.

If you know what I mean.

Quote:

RAINBOW
Subject: Re: Happy val.
----------
I don't believe them. They HADN'T sent it! Not very professional at all. Unlike me. My middle name is Professionalism — Rainbow Danger Professionalism Dash.

Anyway, I told them to send it (again). They said it should be transferred in the next few days (we have a slow Internet connection here).

Anyway, how are you doing?

I believe, at this point, she dropped me.

Quote:

RAINBOW
Subject: Re: Happy val.
----------
Have you tried the bank recently? Any luck? The suspense is killing me!

With a gut-wrenching sob, Rainbow Dash sends a final e-mail to a love that was so close, yet so far.

Then she played video games.

Quote:

RAINBOW
Subject: Re: Happy val.
----------
I guess it's over, then...?

And it was over. Still a better love story than Twilight.

So, a piggy and a triple photo trophy e-mail! Well, that was fun while it lasted. Time to start again!

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