John Wurst screws up the units shipment - COMPLETE

By joining our community you will have the ability to post topics and access other forums reserved for members. Registration is quick, simple and absolutely free. Join our community today by clicking here.

Master of Master Baiters Joined: 09 Oct 2004 Posts: 623

Some of you may already have read John Wurst's words in my current sig. He, the great freight and storage expert, told me everything was in a cold climax. Here is how it came to this. It's a thrilling story about some kind of units, especially the type II ones, they are the largest. Smile

It's a long read, but (maybe) worth it. It's work safe, I think. There's only the occasional "fuck" in it. And please forgive me any mistakes, I'm not native English.

Cast:

Inigo Skimmer: Crime boss or someone important anyway
John Wurst: Skimmer's witty assistant (the lad)
Toni Neko: "the guy that handles movement"
Stanislaus Potemkin: Skimmer's client (me)

I sent out a mass ASEM. It goes like this:

Quote:

Fwd: the shipment

Dear Mr. Wurst,

I hope your boss Mr. Skimmer has made it to the airport in time. We shall now conduct this business further, although I feel a bit uneasy about it, because we don't know each other.

However, the money is ready and I will send as soon as you say that the shipment is ready.

Sincerely,
Stanislaus Potemkin

> Dear Stanislaus,
>
> I will leave for the airport in 5 minutes. I hope you still have
> the email address of my assistant John Wurst that I gave you in
> Dakar. I can't seem to find it right now. He is a trustworthy man
> and I wish you to conduct all further business with him. I told
> him to send the picture on your request.
>
> The shipment will be ready in a few weeks, John will be able to
> tell you everything. Please remember to keep everything secret,
> such a large amount might attract criminals.
>
> I will get back to you in January 2005, we can't have any
> contact in the meantime. There are things I have to attend to.
>
> Everything will be fine.
> Yours,
> Inigo

He, among others, bites:

Quote:

Dear Stanislaus Potemkin,

I have received your mail,however,I am ready to work with you,kindlry coborrate your 24v hour details,fax and telephone for easy reach.

I will wait to hear from you today.

Best regards,

John.

That's not going to be so easy, John:

Quote:

Hi John,

you don't seem to understand the position you're in. Who are you to ask these details of me ?

This transaction is SECURITY LEVEL IIa, I assume you know what that means. Your boss Dr. Skimmer should have instructed you.

I also assume you know how large an amount of money is involved. Now I don't want to spoil this operation by giving away my details. This is Top Secret, John !

I am eager to hear about the shipment. Please tell me when it is ready. You shall then receive the money.

Regards,
Stanislaus

He's bright:

Quote:

Dear Stanislaus Potemkin,

Thank you very much for your e-mail,you are absolutely correct,and judgeing from an intelligent person who you are I percepted that you should understand that for the same reason which you have indicated,"TOP SECRECY" this is why my duties have been plunged in this direction.

We have taken care of the Ambassadorial position of this Shipment hence have been mandated in the interest of concluding ASAP,that you reconfirm for security check,you full co-ordinates as per this Shipmant for clarity sake.

Thus:

A)POINT OF DELIVERY

B)AMOUNT AUTHORIZED IN YOUR FAVOUR

C)FULL CO-ORDINATE

Moreso I have been mandated to issue you a new payment modus to make the payment urgently.

Sir,I await your response today as I will want to finish all correspondence with you tothis effect as directed.

Kind regrads,

John.

Stanislaus is nice to him, but gives him some hard nuts to crack:

Quote:

Hi John,

I see I am dealing with an intelligent and competent man here.

The point of delivery depends on the amount of type II units within the shipment. John, I am eager to hear about the shipment. When will it be ready ? What quality are the items ? How many type II and type IV units are included ? Is it in a safe place ?

I assume you know about the amount I am going to pay. If not, check the top left drawer of Dr. Skimmer's desk. Everything you may need is in there.

Be sure to give my regards to Mrs. Skimmer and the kids.

Stanislaus

He doesn't seem to read my emails:

Quote:

Dear Stanislaus Potemkin,

Thanks for your swift response,however have you been contact by our London officer,Mr.Chris Wilkinson at Metro Safe Deposit in UK? for this delivery process?because I do not understand what my boss Mr Skimmer is making things difficult as regards to your delivery.

I was mandated,for logistics for your delivery and have adviced my Boss that delay in delivery to you is not better considering confidentiality and the amount involved,therefore I will like you to confirm to me if Mr.Wilkinson in London has reached you for the process status.

Waiting to hear from you ASAP.

Regards,

John Wurst.

Thus he gets a slap, but a kind one at that:

Quote:

John,

are you freakin crazy ??? That business is TOP SECRET ! The items we are dealing with are HIGHLY ILLEGAL ! How can you try to involve a Safe Deposit firm into that matter ?

If we fuck this business up, John, we are gonna be dead men. My reputation may help me, but i wouldn't bet for you to survive.

The delivery will be done by some of our German agents.

I asked you how many type II and taype IV units are available. Please answer my question.

Do you need men to guard the goods ? If so, I can arrange things.

Please get back to me soon. And don't fuck this up.

Stanislaus

The amount seems to be "impressive":

Quote:

Dear Stanislaus Potemkin,

This is to acknowledge receipt of your e-mail,and as per your constant querry on the amount of type II and type IV available,it's impressive,remains as earlier specified.

That I do understand the Top Secrecy required in dealing with this goods and note it's high level of Illegality,but I had worked out this safe modus as I was mandated,this I see poses no treat,and the safe deposit company will not bulge,but at this point, I will require you to give me a more comprehensive plan you have for safe delivery,as they say two heads are better that one.

As per if we are going to be needing guards for the goods,that will not be a bad idea,but it will cost some money which we are trying to avoid.

Meantime I am on standby to hear your response ASAP.

Regards,

John.

Me again, with a Big Lebowski reference and questions about those mysterious units:

Quote:

Hi John,

I still advise you not to involve the safe deposit company into this matter. I am sure Dr. Skimmer wouldn't approve of that. And I suppose you know what happened to Skimmer's former assistant.

The place of delivery depends on the exact amount of type 2 units within the shipment, as they are by far the largest. If there are more then 100 type II items, which I hope, you should hand over the shipment off-shore. Dr. Skimmer has a location list in the top left drawer of his desk. Location 13 would fit best, I suppose. Please do not use real location names in your emails as this is Top Secret.

You shall get 25% of the money befroehand, but only after I have proof that you have the goods. You'll get the rest on delivery. I will send a freighter with some of the Germans and 2 or 3 helicopters. Beware of those Germans, they are nihilists ! It would be best for you not to be there personally.

Inbetween, you can have guards for the goods, you mustn't pay for them, of course. I can send some over, no problem. Where do you store the shipment ? Area 2 or area 3 ?

Please tell me when you are ready and don't forget to tell me the EXACT AMOUNT of type 2 units. This is fucking important. There are some people seriously breaking my balls right now about that matter.

Give Mrs. Skimmer and the kids a hug from me, in case you meet her.

Bye,
Stanislaus

John tells me he is capable:

Quote:

Dear Stanislaus Potemkin,

I have received your response and will advice further.

That as per my Mandate to carry out the delivery to you,at the moment we have more than 100 Units of type II and type 1 will be 50 Units and the currecnt location is area 3.

Now,at this area 3 for me to commence other logistics for the safe shipment and delivery as set out,I will require you to support me with a payment of 50,000 USD.

Stanislaus,this is what I will require you to do,also take note,

I HATE PEOPLE THREATENING ME,as I am not like the other Skimmers assistant you are reffering to as regards what happened.

I am ever capable

I will wait your response so I know what moves to make next as per AREA 3 and the Shipment.

Regards,

John Wurst.

50,000 is nothing for Stanislaus. He hopes the units will rust fast though:

Quote:

Hi John,

I am pleased to hear of the 100 type II units. That should be enough. I hope they are top quality and have the newer version of the iron oxidation accelerator built in.

If you want to keep everything in Area 3, please double-check the air-condition daily. It is quite hot there and I don't want to have damage caused to the units.

It is unusual to ask for shipment costs, however, if it's only USD 50,000, you shall have them. I just transferred the money to Dr. Skimmer's Swiss bank account. Should be available in 2 days.

Besides, I didn't intend to threaten you, just warn you. They did the same to me, and it is quite painful, believe me. I'm not using that wheelchair for fun. So watch your back.

Kindly get back to me when the shipment is 100% ready.

Yours,
Stanislaus

Apparently the rust isn't a problem:

Quote:

Dear Stanislaus Potemkin,

The mail received is well understood,however the 100 unit type II is of top quality and is of the newer version of iron oxidation in built accelerator.

As regards the storage do not worry yourself as a professional in this game it is properly taken care of and in a very cold climax.

The logistics for delivery will definately be concluded mid next week,please note that Mr.Skimer is not going to be available until January 2005 and that is why having known that I am capable to deliver to you,I was mandated.Now,Stan,this is the account I have gotten from Mr Skimmer's drawer:

(He gave me a real bank account which has been shut down, or at least I suppose so).

Transfer the 50,000 USD to this account,which I will be accessible to the funds to conclude all the logistics and make delivery by mid next week,since Skimmer will be back for January,2005.

If I receive the money in two days to conclude the logistics,then the delivery will commence as required,therefore after this transfer we should always be in consatant communication round the clock and do keep everything Top Secret as required,though I need not to tell you as youknow the rules of this deal.

I have taken note of your unterance to be a warning and not a treat,I will definately not bulge in this regards,thank anyway.

Do send a confirmation copy of your transfer once made,for confirmation.

Waiting to hear from you.

Regards,

John Wurst.

Delaying tactics:

Quote:

Hi John,

I have already transferred the USD 50,000 to Dr. Skimmers Swiss bank account, as I wrote you
before. It should be there in two days.

I don't know Dr. Skimmer had an HSBC account, but we shouldn't use another bank than a Swiss one
for this purpose.

Bye,
Stanislaus

He's upset:

Quote:

Dear Stanislaus,

I had earlier told you in my e-mail of yesterday that a new payment modus will be given to you,why did you have to transfer the money to the Swiss account?knowing fully well that Dr.Skimmer is out till January 2005,I do not have access to work the logistics via the Swiss account,I can only work through the HSBC account.

Now,you will have to recall the funds,however to avoid delays,I advise you make another transfer today to the HSBC account,then call back the transfer you have made to the Swiss account.

I will wait to receive the payment confirmation copy of your transfer to the HSBC account.

Waiting your response today.

Regards,

John.

Why doesn't he look into that damn safe ?

Quote:

Hi John,

before he left, Dr. Skimmer instructed me to use ONLY the Swiss account for any transactions. Of course, you'll receive the big payment for the shipment in cash because it is too much. But for anything else he told me to use the Swiss account.

I know you have access to the Swiss account. It was you that set it up, remember ? Besides, Dr. Skimmer has all the access codes in his safe behind his desk. I assume you have the combination. It is Barbara's birth date backwards.

Bye,
Stanislaus

Big prob for John:

Quote:

Dear Stanislaus Potemkin,

That means I have to stop every arrangement for now until January 2005,when Skimmer resumes.It's only if you transfer the money to the HSBC account,that we can conclude logistics and shipment comences next week as I earleir mentioned.

However if you want us to commence the shipment,make the payment as instructed as you know that I am incharge and in full control now,therefore to enable commencement of shipment you should transfer the said amount to the HSBC account,this I can have access to the money to enable me finalize all logistics for shipment.

Note that delay is dangerous and you know this.

Best regards,

John.

Threatening him with the Germans again:

Quote:

Hi John,

you have two options:

1) You explain to me what the fuck happened to the Swiss account. Why the hell can't you access it ? If you explain everything to me, I might be able to solve the situation.

2) You actually delay the shipment until January 2005, in which case the Germans as well as some of my customers are gonna have your balls for breakfast. But that's fine with me, if you insist.

You see, you were right. Delay is indeed dangerous. At least for one of us and it's not gonna be me. Ponder deeply on this one, my friend.

Have a nice evening,
Stanislaus

"Man pay money":

Quote:

Dear Stanislaus,

I mean if you pay money to Swiss account we have to wait untill Skimer resumes,come January 2005 because there was a deal performed to that swiss account,and we are trying to be cautious,you know what I mean.

Man pay money to the HSBC account so that I can finalize the logistics and commence shipment.

Note that if you make payment and I have the money in two to three days,then consider shipment to you next week.

Please do not intimidate me as you know that I am a Don in this deal and I know the right thing to do at the right time,so take my instructions and act accordingly.

Waiting your response,ASAP.

Most regards,

John Wurst.

Stanislaus plays the big boss:

Quote:

Hi John,

I don't intended to fucking intimidate you, I tried to remember you of what might happen if you delay the shipment. And it's not gonna be me that will have your ass, but the Germans and others.

Do you realize what position you're in, John ? I mean, I am a peace-loving man, John. But I am THE Dr. Stanislaus Potemkin. I'd be able to send a dozen of my man to your appartment within a couple of hours to have them fry you alive, and Skimmer wouldn't even object.

So, please John, calm down and stick to the rules.

If I have strict instructions from Skimmer to only use the Swiss account, I won't use any other one. What do you mean anyway: "there was a deal performed to that Swiss account" ?

It was bold enough of you to ask for the USD 50,000 beforehand, now please cooperate.

Yours,
Stanislaus

Struggling:

Quote:

Dear Stanislaus,

Thanks for the advise.

I thought you understood me properly?A deal was performed with the Swiss account,which will definately be unveiled very soon,that is why we can not use the Swiss account and more to that I have made this clear to you,I am very capable in my position, and nothing will happen to me ok.

Now,I have made this clear to you,rather than delay writing,urgent pay the 50,000 USD to the HSBC account,this is the only way I can work and have your delivery next week as intended.

What are all this rules shit?Rules are made to be broken.

However,as mandated,this is my working status.

I am ready to do all I am to do,but if you don't adhere to my instruction,then consider it negative.

Regards,

John Wurst.

Trying to turn him around:

Quote:

Well,

I really don't know why you get so fucking upset about those damn USD 50,000. They are nothing in relation to what you get for the shipment.

I am not willing to do any more of this child's play. You wanted the 50,000. You got them. If you can't access th account, it's your fault.

As soon as the shipment is ready and you can proof that to me, you'll get 25% of the total sum. No accounts, only cash.

Stanislaus

Doesn't work. Apparently he's a DON:

Quote:

Dear Stan,

I do not think you are getting my point,there will be no Shipment if you do not pay the money to the HSBC account,upon delivery we can now discuss the 25% which I can inturn return the 50,000 I have taken now,for the clearing and finanlizing of all logistics to enable delivery,Area 3.

Stan,understand this and understand it again,I need the 50,000 to the HSBC account to enable me put everything in place for the delivery.

How do you call an initiative for the succesfull actualization of shipment Child's play?

You suprise me Dr Stan,anyhow,let me believe you are just kidding,because you said I asked for 50,000 and I got it,but remember I told you in that same mail that I asked for the 50,000 that I will give you a new payment modus other than that of Skimmer,so what are you taling about?

Infact if I tell you a piece of my mind,you are just a fucking liar trying to push me arround,you have not made any payment,but I tell you I won't bulge because I am a DON in my game and that tells you why I am not sitting on a wheel Chair.

Once again,if you need this delivery done,all you need do is just transfer the fucking funds to the HSBc account and stop playing bitchy or wait till January 2005.

Adios Stan,be nice.

John Wurst,

I mock the almighty DON:

Quote:

Hi John,

I shall bow before you, oh mighty DON ! You have been in this business for how long ? 1 year ? 2 ?

I myself have only done it for 35 years, poor me.

Honestly, John, you made a big mistake. You called me a liar. I will have some of my lads sent over to your place tonight at 8 p.m. sharp. You have until then to apologize or they will fry your ass.

If you try to run away, no prob for me and no business and no money for you.

Stanislaus

He comes around:

Quote:

Dear Stan,

I know you are older than me in this Business but you made it look like I am not seroius nor know the modus of my operation.

Sir,I apologize for my utterances,I do not want War for a deal I am trying to be realistic at.

Mr Skimmer is out till January 2005,this you know,now the only means I can have this Delivery in full control and workable is that I receive that working logistics and to be able to work with it.

Kindly understand my plight Sir,and work in this direction to help me,it will not cost you anything,just to call back the 50,000 USD transfer you made to the bank in Swiss,then pass on the payment to the HSBC bank,this is the only way I can achieve this delivery.

Counting on you.

Best regards,

John Wurst.

Good boy:

Quote:

Hi John,

so you're not as stupid as I thought you were.

But listen: I can't use any account other than a Swiss one. Others are not safe. These are the modalities and I will stick to them.

Why can't you just use the money from the Swiss account ? Skimmer has the access data in his safe. Within the safe there are also always about USD 250,000 in cash, so why not use them ?

Do you intend to keep the 50,000 for yourself ?

I'm beginning to loose my patience here, John.

Bye,
Stanislaus

He bores me again:

Quote:

Dear Stan,

I respect my Elders but only can be insolent when I try my best to be at an apparell that is workable.

Thank you,however I do not intend to keep the 50,000 to myself,but as a working instrument for me other than anything from Skimmers deposits,please understand this,that is why I made mention earlier that I can even pay back the 50,000 after I receive my share,but now,Sir it is very important you send the 50,000 today because you know we are loosing time.

I hope all this is clear now,and counting on you for the support and understanding.

Best regards,

John Wurst.

Minor slap:

Quote:

John,

you do not seem to read my emails. I asked you:

Why can't you just use the money from the Swiss account ? Skimmer has the access data in his safe.

Within the safe there are also always about USD 250,000 in cash, so why not use them ?

Please answer those questions.

Stanislaus

Excuses:

Quote:

Dear Stan,

As I earlier told you,I can not involve those Skimmers monies at this time,because the operation arrangement I have made for delivery is not in his working apparell.

He returns come January 2005 to meet all his monies,this is how I operate,my working instrument not anything from Skimmers deposits,please understand this

This is my explanation.

It's friday already,we are not gaining time nay further.

Please do understand i you really want this delivery done,I can even pay you back the 50,000 from my share once set.

I am willing to do my part,but just trustme on this and have my working logistics sent to the HSBC account ok.

Waiting your transfer information confirmation copy.

Regards,

John Wurst.

Slightly bigger slap:

Quote:

Hi John,

you are Skimmer's FUCKING PERSONAL ASSISTANT, so why the heck can't you use his money ? That's the way it's fucking supposed to be !

I'm getting suspicious, John. Either you stop that child's play or I'm gonna try contacting Skimmer. I do have a possibility to get in touch with him in case of an emergency and I consider his assistant trying to trick me an emergency.

Stanislaus

Note his first sentence. Is he a poet or what ?

Quote:

Dear Stan,

Mandated was I to make delivery,given is the safe option.

Well if you can not act as directed,then please count me out.

If you wana contact Skimmer then go aheasd,but consider your Shipment upon his return,but don't blame me.

I have done my best and you have taken it to suscpicions,why not just make the payment,after all you still know how to find me.

Waiting in peace for justice,to paly my part,but I will not touch skimmer's funds.

Regards,

John.

Skinner enters the stage. Well, he doesn't exactly enter but stays behind the curtain. And Stanislaus gets mad. But see for yourself:

Quote:

Hi John,

I just phoned Skimmer. He is in Brazil and the connection was very bad. Do you want to hear what he said ? He told me you are a fucking bastard and liar and you are trying to trick him. You have STRICT ORDERS to touch Skimmer's funds. He told me to send a few men over to your place to.. well.. fry you alive.

Now listen John, I won't do this. I am a peace-loving man. I really don't care if you want to steal those 50,000 bucks, they are nothing. Don't you realize that what you get for the fucking shipment will be LOT more ? If you want to get rich this way, forget about the 50,000 and go for the real deal. I don't give a fuck if after delivery you take the money and settle down somewhere far away. It'd better be quite a bit away, cause if Skimmer finds you you'd probably wish you'd just be fried alive. But that's not my problem.

I want the fucking shipment, John. Nothing more.

And stop bugging me with that FUCKING HSBC account. I can't use a normal account. They are supervised. It would mean risking my own ass, and I like my ass, seriously.

Now please tell me the shipment is ready and you shall get the cash, all of it, only not on a DAMN FUCKING SUPERVISED BANK ACCOUNT !

Got that ?

AND STOP CALLING ME STAN, FOR CHRISSAKE ! My mother calls me Stan !

Stanislaus

Apparently, he reads part of my mails. The last part, to be exact. Or the all-caps part:

Quote:

Dear Stanislaus,

Your message is received,Skimmer can say what he like as he knows he is away till January,well i am giving you my final assurance the HSBC acount is safe,and if I don't get the money before hand i can't operate.

Kindly disregard what Skimmer has told you,it's just a bluff.

I want to deliver to you in one piece,and needing this little money would't and shouldn't be a problem.

Thanking for thinking twice and not sending the Killer squad over,it shows you are a Man of honour.

I am counting on you to help me do your duties.

Best regards,

John Wurst.

I let him wait:

Quote:

Dear Stanislaus,

How is your weekend?

However what is the position?

Have you made the transfer to the HSBC account?

I am on standby to hear from you.

Regards,

John.

Now I'm suspicious:

Quote:

Hi John,

I don't believe you are who you pretend to be. I'm gonna check on you and contact Skimmer again. An HSBC account is never safe. NEVER EVER. The only "safe" accounts are in Switzerland. You don't seem to know this, that's why I suspect you're not in the business.

Stanislaus

So he is bored too:

Quote:

Dear Stanislus,

I am tired of talking too much,the fellows at Area 3 handling the cooling of the units for maximum oxidation is the problem,and I will not pay them from Skimmers 250,000,now needing you to do this.

The fellow will get to you as I have told him that you the owner of the units is bluffing and that is where he wants the money to be paid to as he has every security check in place at HSBC bank,so the choice is yours if you really want the delivery before January 2005.

Counting on you.

Regards,

John Wurst.

He seems to be so bored that he introduces Toni Neko, apparently a human rights activist:

Quote:

Attention: Stanislaus Potemkin

Sir,

I got your contact from John Wurst. My name is Toni Neko, the guy that handles movement and cooling of your shipment at area 3 in preparation for onward dispatch offshore for shipment.

You see the reason I am writing you is as result of John Wurst complaints to me that you are not co-operating to send the USD50, 000 to my HSBC account but rather insisting for a Swiss bank account.

Sir, one thing I will like to point out to you, is that; in this civilized world its no use doing things against ones wish, this?s a free world where we have valuable rights for our way of living. Therefore, it?s out of question that you should decide for me where to get my payment. I am an intelligent person and I know what I am doing than you thought, my account in HSBC is over hundred percent safe and secure than the Swiss one, besides considering the top secrecy of this shipment, I cannot receive payment connecting to this shipment through Swiss bank, I choose the Asian account so that no trace will be left by.

Again, John Wurst also has made me to understand that your insistency is borne out of your arrangement with his boss Skimmer, well, here I will like to tell you that you are not doing the right thing, because I got no work from Skimmer is John Wusrt that contracted me for the work based on the terms we agreed upon and not with Skimmer. Therefore, I am only working by the terms of the contract I entered with John Wurst and if for any reason you cannot co-operate to send me the money through the HSBC account then take it that there will never be any shipment of the units to you. I must get my USD50, 000 payment before I can release the units or before I can allow any further step with the shipment.

Please take this as a matter of high importance and let me have your reply along this line. In the next few days if I have no favorable resolve of the payment issue, I will discontinue cooling the units. This payment is over due for me following the agreement of the work with John Wurst.

Thank you for your attention and I remain for your reply.

Warmest Regards.

Toni Neko.

I give him a 50/50 chance:

Quote:

Hello Toni,

please don't stop cooling the units. That would be a bad idea, really.

We will sort this out. Anyway, I suspect this John Wurst is trying to trick me, maybe even both of us. Be careful. I'm already checking on him.

Just to make sure you're real, answer me one question: Is John black or white ?

Regards,
Stanislaus

And another one to John:

Quote:

Hi John,

tell me one thing: Is Skimmer black or white ?

This is just to check if you're real. I will stop any further correspondance if you don't answer this question correctly.

Yours,
Stanislaus

Toni answers:

Quote:

Hello Potemkin

Sir,

Thank you for your reply and your beckoning. How wither, as per your test to know if I?m real, well, here I must tell you that you're completely out of touch with rules covering this high intelligent merchandise. Therefore, I?m sorry I cannot give you answer to your test.

Since you sound so lack of credibility or unrecognized on John Wurst and my very self, what is my basis to answer your test if John is black or white? Because yourself likewise seem to be trying trick on me.

Again, you don?t need to inform me to be careful, I?m not one that can easily be scared, off course, I?m careful already else how can I be handling your units at the location. So never bother yourself for any checking as that will not yield anything to you rather you will only put this merchandise on risk of exposure to intelligence services and that will be very costly for realization of your shipment I guess you realize the nature of this merchandise. You need to relax Sir; I know the danger is this thing more than you, so I had already taken care of all ends that might tend to get loose.

Finally, my advice to you is that as you had indicated of going to sort out my USD50, 000 payment, endeavor that urgently, for I have understanding with you of not going to stop cooling the units, but if by tomorrow and next I cannot have favorable reply from you along that line I will stop cooling the units until I receive my payment. No kidding.

Thank you for your attention and I remain for your reply.

Warmest Regards.

Toni Neko.

John:

Quote:

Dear Stanislaus

I do not understand why you are coming back to ask me such questions when you know this transaction is security level IIa, I think my Boss has instructed you about me.

So I take your question meaningless.

If you are going to discontinue correspondence with me please yourself but remember so will the Shipment be discontinued to you and the fellow handling the units at Area 3 is already complaining and treathening to stop cooling if his money needed is not paid.

Have a pleasant day.

Regards,

J.Wurst.

I try to play on, really bored now:

Quote:

Hi Toni,

I have bad news, John doesn't seem to cooperate. I suspect he is not the one he's pretending to be and so I asked him wether Skimmer (his boss) was white or black. He doesn't seem to be able to answer the question, so I can't do the business with him.

I think I'll have to find someone else being able to supply the units. It's a pity I've wasted so much time. I would have very much liked to do the business with him because anywhere else I'd have to pay more then 2 million for the units. Skimmer sells them for less than half of that.

However, I just wanted to inform you.

Regards,
Stanislaus

Toni doesn't care:

Quote:

Hello Potemkin

Sir,

Thank you for your information. Sorry to say this, the bad news you had conveyed to me means nothing to me. I think you and John Wurst are trying to play games on me in this transaction because your utterances doesn?t match with the original blue print of the units shipment as detailed me by John Wurst before involving my services in handling the units movement and cooling to the location at area 3.

Off course, I?m right, because I can?t understand what you mean by going to find someone else to supply you the units at a price of 2 million in preference of the one you was to have at half the figure all because of USD50, 000 due me from my work to John Wurst. This doesn?t make sense at all. Or do you people think can use such crap to scare me. I have told you before that I?m not one that can easily be scared; I?m a tough guy, if not how else can I be the one handling the units in the secure location.

Anyhow, that?s not my bother actually, all I know is that if I cannot have my payment, I will never give out the units to neither John Wurst nor you or anybody else because I think you and John Wurst are trying to play trick on me with my USD50, 000 pay after I have carefully handle the units movement and cooling to area 3. This?s very obvious because I can?t understand what this fuss about you asking whether John or Skimmer is black or white. Sir, I think this porker is better to be taken to the school children; I?m an intelligent fellow so I know my work and I?m not a novice in this transaction.

Whether you are interested in the units supply or not, its non of my business but my bottom line is that if John Wurst don?t pay my USD50, 000 I will never release the units from the location, and if any attempt is being made to push me to the wall, I will have no option than to blow this transaction to the authorities and you and him will be in trouble. We all knows how top secret and delicate the units transaction is unless perhaps you don?t, because the way you sound seems like you are a wrong person John Wurst claim to be the units shipment recipient.

Thank you for your attention.

Warmest Regards.

Toni Neko.

Really bored with his dumbness by now:

Quote:

Hi Toni,

I just wanted to inform you. Nice for you if you don't give a fuck.

I'm already searching for someone else to supply the units, so that's fine with me.

Stanislaus

More prose from Toni:

Quote:

Hello Potemkin

Sir,

Thank you for your reply. In the real sense i got nothing to bother with you. Is John Wurst that contract me for the work, i only contacted you for my payment because he asked me to do so. He indicated you were the owner of the units, now i know may be something is wrong with John Wurst but all i know i will go get my payment from him for the movement and cooling of the units to area 3. If he can't settle me then sorry for him, cause i will send the transaction details out to the authorites here which also has your name and that of Skimmer. I can't work and not get paid for the delicate job. I mean that.

That will also be fine with me.

Warmest Regards.

Toni Neko.

I accuse him:

Quote:

Hi Toni,

1. Telling the authorities is not a good idea. The units are highly illegal. I think you are a fake and you don't even possess those units. You don't know what you're talking about.

2. You're not so stupid to think my real name is Potemkin, aren't you ?

Stanislaus

Toni:

Quote:

Hello Potemkin,

Sir,

Thank you for your reply. You seem not to understand whom i'm, just give up the scheme of trying to scare me because it won't work. I'm even glad you realize that the units are totally illegal thing and not worth getting to the authorites ears.Don't bother whether your real name is Potemkin or not, John Wurst is my liability, he will make decode when such need arises because i will never spare him my rage if my USD50,000 is not paid, this a small issue, you need not scare me at all.

And never mind, whether you take me to be fake or do not possess the units but i know what i'm talking about. Don't bother yourself with me, i never knew you from Adam, is just that John Wurst direct me to contact in the face of your impasse with him over my payment for movement and cooling the units at the location, so i think i'm better of facing John Wurst whom contracted for the work. I have figured it's waste of my precious time corresponding with you because you sound unmatch to what John Wurst claim you to be.

Thank you for your attention.

Warmest Regards.

Toni Neko.

Philosopher John Wurst again:

Quote:

Dear Stanislaus,

I have been waiting to hear from you but heard not even a word.

Please remember that I was mandated by Skimmer to effect delivery and put the whole operation in motion,but you are about to jeopardize all my effort and this fellow at Area 3 is threathening that he will do something outrageous if we don't pay him,kindly pay him the 50,000 USD so this delivery can be obtained because I do not want problems and involvement of the Authorities because if they come for me I will definate rope you knowing all your discription.

A word is enough for the wise.

Have a pleasant day,

Regards,

John Wurst.

One last try:

Quote:

Hi John,

You don't understand:

YOU TELL ME IF SKIMMER IS BLACK OR WHITE, THEN I TALK TO YOU AGAIN.

COMPRENDE ?

Stanislaus

I haven't heard from him since, but got a lot of email worms to the account I used only for him. I didn't bother telling him he has been baited. I imagined that maybe some time it'd occur to him he had a 50/50 chance of getting the money and he didn't even try it.

If he had been really smart, he could have answered white as Toni and black as John. I'd have told one of them he was wrong and a fake and the other one might have got the money.

But mugus are stupid, it seems...

Smile

Feedback on this is appreciated.

Master of Master Baiters Joined: 09 Oct 2004 Posts: 623

Just to illustrate the difference, here is another mugu that replied to the same ASEM. He, unlike the other John Wurst, doesn't seem to be on a higher evolutionary level than a brick.

His reply to my initial ASEM:

Quote:

Thanks for your reply, and your concerned about this transaction , please as soon as the money is ready to send let me immediately so that you will not make any mistake.
Always get back to me, Awaiting for your reply, Have a nice day, Thanks,

I still assume he is capable of reading and thinking:

Quote:

Hi John,

you don't seem to understand who you are talking to. Who are you to tell me I would make a mistake ? John, I have been in this business for more then 20 years now, so don't bug me about making mistakes.

There will be no money before the shipment is ready. If it is ready, please tell me about it.

I also assume you know how large an amount of money is involved. So please keep this secret.

Regards,
Stanislaus

Here is what I received a day later:

Quote:

MY DEAR FRIEND I JUST WANT TO REMIND YOU.

I make the following mistake:

Quote:

What do you want to remind me of ? Please stop writing in all caps, this is considered shouting and we want to keep this secret.

You should contact me when the shipment is ready. I'll pay no sooner.

I will have to talk to Dr. Skimmer about you when he comes back. You don't seem to understand your position very well. I can't conduct business like that.

Dr. Stanislaus Potemkin

He tells me he understands, which is an obvious lie:

Quote:

THANKS FOR YOUR CONCERNED AND I DO UNDERSTAND, EVERY THING IS OKAY, I PROMISE TO THIS TRANSACTION TOP SECRET AT ALL LEVEL. O.K.

I thought he'd understand me if I tried individual-on-evolutionary-level-of-a-brick-speak:

Quote:

Okay, I try it your way:

AM STANISLAUS POTEMKIN. THIS IS THE MODALITIES: YOU TELL ME WHEN SHIPMENT IS READY. THEN YOU GET MONEY. THIS IS TOP SECRETY AND 100% RISKY FREE. PLEASE DO NOT REPLY AGAIN AND SAY YOU UNDERSTAND AND EVERY THING IS O.K. PLEASE REPLY ONLY WHEN SHIPMENT IS READY.

No reply and it's been 6 weeks. The only thing he understood was probably:

Quote:

PLEASE DO NOT REPLY AGAIN

John Wurst screws up the units shipment - COMPLETE	View next topic View previous topic