The Wrong Man

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Posted: Mon Dec 23, 2013 11:59 pm

During the Duffour saga, a Lad dropped a stranded diplomat script on me, so I unleashed Mal onto him. It didn't last too long.

The Lads are in italics throughout; comments are in bold. I've stripped off greetings and salutations.

30 May 2011
Atten: Sir/Mardam
I am Diplomat Awah Kalu I have just arrive here at the Malaysia International Airport in with your consignment which is to be deliver to you.but right now I am facing some difficulties with the airport authority wanting to open and search your consignment to know the content of the boxes which is not supposed to be so and I have disagreed with them on this act.
But right now, the airport authority has demanded from me the (VAT AUTHORIZATION CERTIFICATE). which I need to present to them at the airport so that there will not open and see what is the content of the consignment because i was given an instruction from my office in Ghana that on no circumstances should the consignment be open until they get to it's rightful owner and with your name and information attached on the boxes it indicate that you are the rightful owner of this consignment.
Therefore I advice that, you get back to me as soon as you receive this mail with the certificate needed by the airport if you have it. and I have also call my office director in Ghana regarding the situation and they told me that this certificate can only be obtain from the (IRS) Internal revenue services Office in Ghana and it is amounted for $350 to get it. Please do act fast to obtain the certificate so that it can be present to them for your consignment to be release and delivered to you immediately because I have 24hrs to submit this documented needed. Call me on my international number here in Malaysia (+60XXXXXXXXX).you need to act fast on this matter.
NB: CONTACT MY COMPANY OFFICE DIRECTOR IN GHANA HIS NAME IS KWABENA DEFOUR ON +233-XXXX-XXXXX AND SEND THE $350 NEEDED VIA WESTERN UNION MONEY TRANSFER OR MONEY GRAM TO the company CASHER OFFICER for this document.
NAME: Genius Amah Kalu
Address 36b mokula shopping complex
AccraGhana.

As it turned out...

That gorram number doesn't work. What the Sam Frick are you playing at?

I sent an angry message to Duffour (the original one).

Why the hell did you send the money by courier? I just got word from that bonehead Kalu that he's stuck in Malaysia. I thought we had an agreement!

Meanwhile...

30 May 2011
thanks for your email to me this morning and regarding your boxes in Malaysia which will be delivered soonest to your address,you can reached my boss with his direct number +233-xxxxxxxxxx.after my conversation with my boss this morning he make me to know understand that we can also obtain the certificate in our Ghana embassy here in Malaysia,
please if you are ready to send the money (VAT AUTHORIZATION CERTIFICATE)just let me know so that i give you a name to send it to Malaysia soonest as time is not on our side.
i will appreciate you being nice to me because i am trying to assist you get your box delivered to your address.

A call was then made.

http://www.4shared.com/mp3/fBMRroaL/Diplomat_Kalu_01_37_PM_30_May_.html

Well, well... another bad number!

That number does not work either - are you jerking my chain?

31 May 2011
I want to bring to your notice that Diplomat Awah Kalu is still waiting at malaysia for the VAT (AUTHORIZATION CERTIFICATE).
Note:the certificate only cost $350.00 usd to enable delivers to you and avoid the opening/inspection of the box.
I will advise you to send the money to my secretary (EMMANUEL ITAM KALU) to enable obtain the certificate first thing tomorrow morning and get the transaction complete.
If you prefer sending him the money at malaysia he will get it at our embassy over there.
Hope to hear from you.

You agreed to send the money to my bank account. Why did you send it by courier when I ruled that out along with the ATM card option? This is just plain unacceptable!
Recall the money to Ghana and get it to my account as agreed. I don't like being screwed around.

The the real Dufus chimes in...

2 June 2011
How are you doing i am sorry for the delay in the respond of your mail i was out of office i went for meeting, as for the so called Kalu bonehead Kalu that he's stuck in Malaysia,
I don't know any one like that tell him to go to hell and born to arches that is a scam if that is going to happen it will be an an agreement between me and you,
so you don't mind him i never sent anyone to you i will want you to forward every mail you receive to me and tell anybody that call you to contact me before anything can done,
As for the fund how do you want us to deliver it i don't want you to listen to any person from now on since you now know that they are trying to us my name to scam you of your money,
so i want you to send me your delivery direct contact a so i can contact you at any time,
i Waite to here from you as soon as possible,

A final squeak from the "diplomat"...

10 August 2011
your consignment boxes are still in malaysia as you where not able to follow my instruction,i was ready to assist but due to your action make me leave the consignment at the malaysia security firm ,but it will started yelling dumorrage in less time expected
i don't want to be blame about this as i have inform you ealy

The boxes were never supposed to be in Malaysia in the first place, so any charges are down to you and not to me.