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Baiting Guru Joined: 21 Nov 2010 Posts: 2200

Lester & Chester are none to bad a pickers either.

Posted: Thu Nov 14, 2013 2:42 am

^Damn Strait. Bastards wanted 50 Clams for a simple Tee shirt with those words. Oh where was I? So I forgot about this one in all the excitement until YuYuYulia went into a French Canadian Frenzy:

https://soundcloud.com/oscarpiles/2063760149-206/s-9K6Jk

'If your Gay?' Well By Gawd!

Honesty I didn't know where this came from so I ignored it. Then this hit Mals:

Quote:

Have a nice time, dear Mals!
I ran home from my work to receive your letter!
And I am happy, that I find your letter in my mailbox.) Thanks,)))
Dear, do you visited bank today? What they say? Why you don't answer for my calls?
Today all time I thought only about you. I do not know, I feel something sudden...
I want speaking with you and to see you in this moment,) I wish to feel you nearby.
I think, that I have fallen in love with you))) I never expected, that I meet my Prince in other country)
It is simply unusual! But I like it. Dear, I want see you, speak with you... I want touch you!
I want meet you, my Prince!
Your Princess.

Aww Jeeze I thought it was someone pulling my leg or something. Oh well might as well give it the old Mals Treatment like a Bridge over Swan Filled Waters:

Quote:

My Princess,
I am sorry but i was out driving late and then couldn't gets no computer signal til now and that just ain't right. Well I went to the Bank and they done said that the Money was returned to my account but I didn't quite understands what they was saying and I sure ain't knowing much bout Bankering for sure I don't Little Lady. Is there some sort of problem with that there Agents account cuase thats alls I cans think of.
Pleese my Lover Gal gets back to me Lickedly Split and we cans sorts all this out.

So in summary...Ah Screw that! A Vlad Called me????? Sweet Jeebus Hanging on the Wall it didn't sound Vladish though! Hmmm, Tomorrow is another day eh?

Posted: Thu Nov 14, 2013 9:59 am

Oscar, don't know if you're using a K7 or anything with voice mail and caller ID, but a vlad call would be priceless.

Posted: Thu Nov 14, 2013 2:15 pm

^It was my K7 number and I've got no idea where the call from. The Woman definitely didn't sound Eastern European to me though. The Emails are definitely Russian.

I might see if I can get a number out of Old Creepy and try a call unless we know any Okies who can pull it off (kidding).

Posted: Sun Nov 17, 2013 7:37 pm

I thought Yuyuyulia had forgot bout Poor Mals:

Quote:

Hello my Prince!

Sorry, I could not write to you earlier. I visited my parents.
I hope, you have not lost me) You missed? You thought of me?
My love, all my thoughts only about you. I think of you constantly.
To me to like to dream of our future. I dream of that time when we can see each other.
I miss you a lot! Dear, hope we can meet in this Christmas!
I think. It will be the best time for us...
My love, what you think of our meeting? I hope, we can meet soon!
I love you! Have a nice time, my Love!
Kisses.

Might as well reel her back in then:

Quote:

My Russian Princess,

I sure enough was worried bout you I was for sure for sure. I am so glad you is okay and with me again cause I sure do loves yuo.
My pretty one I done went to my Bank and they said the money was returned to my account cause there was a problerm with that Agernt Fellers account there was. I sure wants unwraps you at Chrismas I does cause that'd be the best present in the whole world it would1

Honey I is so Happy now lets me tells you a joke that my Buddy Red done tolds me this morning okay?

So this Duck hunter accidentally shoots a Big ol' Swan he does and instead of leaving it right there where it landed he took it home and ccooked he did. Well them Conservation officers found all bout it and had him arrested cause it ain't legal to shooting and cooking up swans round these parts or so they tells me. So when he is in that there district court he throws himself at the mercy of the Judge Feller saying he knew he made a mistake but didn't want that poor graceful animal to go to waste and decided to at least harvest what he done shot even if it were wrong cept down in Mexico. So the Judge likes this Fellers story and explanation so much he doe sthat he actually lets him go with out any charges at all. Aftert he case is dismissed, the Judge takes this Hunter Felller aside and asks him what this Big Ol' Bird done tasted like he did and the Hunter said "Not Bad really kinda reminded me of Peregrine Falcon it did."

Ain't that knee slapper Darling Doll? I thought you'd like it I did.

Catch you on the Flip Flop,

Posted: Wed Nov 20, 2013 2:53 am

So we are still at the old end game with this Vlad as it doesn't appear to have any more accounts for me. Seldom will I get two from one but I try. Sadly Mals has a secret middle name that crops up now and again:

Quote:

Have a nice day, my Love!

My Prince, I miss you! Thanks for writing! My honey, how are you?
I read your previous letters and I feel, that I love you!
I do not represent my life without you! My love, thanks, that you are in my life!
Sometimes I close eyes and I represent you... Your movements and you are touch me...
I want, that it was a reality! I wish to be with you! I love you!
Mals, we can be together, but I should for pay! Agents account is work!
You can use Western Union! It is very Simply!
And, why you have writing your name "John"? You are not serious, I think!
My angel, I hope, that we will together soon. I wait the first kiss!
Please write to me soon!
I Love You, I Need You and I Miss You.

Just as Westy is 'very Simply' so is John's er I mean Mals' explanation:

Quote:

My Russian Princess,

Aww you knows how I feels bout using them places for transferring money don't you? It just ain't safe and I needs you to get the money all safe and secure like cause I wants you here so bad I does. Nothing can stands in the way of us Darling cause i means for us to be together at Christmas so we can unwraps each other and that'd be the best present I ever done had .

Now Darling am sorry for signing my name that way but my Mama always called me by my middle name and that was cause I was named after Pappy but then they had a falling out they did and well then I was always called Mills but Mama didn't see it that way no she didn't Lover Gal. Oh the waitress down at the park and puke, Tootsie done told me a joke today that should tickle them innards of yours Darling; Well this Feller goes into a Bar and sits down without ordering nothing he does and after a bit he pulls this big ol' Bird out of a sack and rips a wing off ans then starts gnawing on it then he tears of a leg and well the Bartender is getting kinda ticked at him and says:

'Hey you gonna buy a Drink?'

The Feller sitting there with the chewed up Bird says:

'Nah I'm going after this Swan!'

I figured you'd like that one Darling. Catch you on the Flip Flop,

Posted: Fri Nov 22, 2013 12:44 am

Yuyuyuliala is getting kinda Pissed with Mals:

Quote:

I think, that you not the serious! If you wished to meet me, you would make everything to meet me!
Agents wish to forbid my visa because I do not pay money...
If I do not pay it soon I cannot fly to you...
Good luck!

Jeeze this looks serious. Best ignore it!

Quote:

Hello!

If you wish to meet me and you serious for me that prevents to help me with travel payment?
It will not borrow a lot of time! But you do it long!
You understand, what I cannot fly to you if I do not mourn?
Understand, that I do not require your money, I wish to meet you.
I think, if you really wish to meet me you should go to the western union and send money.
Here there is nothing difficult! You should go to your bank and fill the receipt on a remittance.

When you will make it and will place money the operator of your bank will give you other receipt,
Where the confidential code of transfer will be written. Write me your full name, a city and this confidential code,
And by means of it, I can receive money.
To send money, you will require also the address and my full name.
I will write it more low:

My name: Yuliya Mihkaleva
The bank name: SVIAZ BANK
The address: SOVETSKAYA ULITSA 19
City: ULYANOVSK
Post code: 432063
The country: Russia

I should go to agency to pay those 960 dollars.
If you can do it tomorrow it will be very good!
I can pay cost of a trip and inform flight to you!
I hope, you will make it! I will wait your answer!

Maybe Mals should step in to ease the Pain:

Quote:

My Russian Princess,

Why you be Swanning me like you is? Am here for you and wants you to gets your money all safe and secure like cause that’s the kind of Gentles man I is Darling. You knows I wants you here with me so can’t we be talking real nice like again? Am getting concerned I is.

Posted: Mon Nov 25, 2013 10:00 pm

Creepy Swan Lady is trying a last ditch effort to get some Cash:

Quote:

Your Love is Game!
Take care

Quote:

You are here?

Quote:

Do you want me?
Do you help me with travel?
Can you use Western Union?
Can you answer for my call?

Please answer!

Quote:

The agent says, that her account of bank works, and she accepts payments every day.
I do not know, why you cannot send it.
In what currency your account? Probably problem in it?
You have the receipt what you made transfer?
You can send a document copy, what you made remittance into their account?
They wish to close my visa if I do not pay money within this week!
Why you cannot use Western Union? Explain!
If you send money through Western Union tomorrow I will receive it!
Think, whether it is important for you?

Mals had best do some thinking before responding to that Salvo....

Baiting Guru Joined: 27 Mar 2011 Posts: 21158

Quote:

Why you cannot use Western Union? Explain!

coffinsurfer left these useful links in my typhoon girl thread

http://online.wsj.com/news/articles/SB10001424052702303559504579198370113163530

http://www.nytimes.com/2013/11/15/us/cia-collecting-data-on-international-money-transfers-officials-say.html?_r=1&

There are also these

http://www.bizjournals.com/denver/news/2012/05/02/western-union-faces-money-laundering.html

http://krebsonsecurity.com/2012/11/moneygram-fined-100-million-for-wire-fraud/

Posted: Mon Nov 25, 2013 11:34 pm

^Those are Brilliant. Thanks to you and coffinsurfer.

Posted: Mon Nov 25, 2013 11:36 pm

^^^^^ I couldn't see the WSJ article, but the others are great.

Posted: Tue Nov 26, 2013 2:00 pm

^Great they are and effective!

Quote:

Hello my dear Mals!

I am glad, that you write to me soon! I have read that article which you have sent me!
I went to agency today and they really do not understand, why you cannot send money for that account.
That account works for the international transfers. The agent has told, that they I can give other account of bank.
But if, you cannot transfer money for that account they I will close my visa!
I hope, you understand! I ask you to make transfer today into that account which I will write you more low:

Transfer of means in currency: US dollar
SWIFT: xxx
IBAN: xxx
Name of Bank: VTB24
holder name: Fedoseeva Nadezhda

I hope, you will make transfer today! I ask you to make a copy of the receipt what you have made transfer, ок?
Send me it! It is important, because I should show them it tomorrow!
I hope, that this time all will be good.
I hope to meet you soon, my Prince!
I miss you, my dear.

Posted: Fri Dec 06, 2013 12:31 am

I won't post them all but Creepy Swan VLady is all over Mals like a duck on a June-bug:

Quote:

Hello!

I am glad, that you have written to me again. You have received my message?
I called to you yesterday, but you again did not answer me. I made the auto-message.
You heard my voice? I wish to hear you! When you can answer me?
My love, I went to the agent, and there still there is no money.
Understand me, I look the silly woman before the agent. Unless you want, that your girl looked the silly woman?
They write me reminders on payment. If I knew, that all will be so, I would not pay advance payment.
They have made the work, my love... But, what I now should make?
I have got tired of this uncertainty. I do not understand you...
Or it is a problem in bank? What do they speak to you? Why you do not send scan?
I think, that you simply have not made transfer, that's all...
I think, that I should tell to the agent, that I will not fly anywhere and they will close my visa!
I should make so? Answer me! I wished to meet Christmas with you.
I had this dream...

Dream on my Crazy Diamond! No wait that's not it! Best see vhat Yuyuyulia has to say:

https://soundcloud.com/oscarpiles/swans

Yup Vlad keeps Fricking calling me and its kinda good because my K7 doesn't expire as long as it is being used. Win-Win eh?

Quote:

My Russian Princess,

Sorry my Darling cause I've been driving a heck of a lot and just saw this now I dids. So that Agent Feller don't gots my Money?? Well that don't seems right no it don't Darling cause I done sent it and all. Let me gets to the Bank and do some ciphering and we'll figure all this out soon we will Baby Doll.
Hey the DOT Feller done tolds me a joke today and it was a Gut Busterr it was! Hopes you like it!

So that Celine Dion Womern goes into a Bar and the Bartender done says "Hey why the Long Face?"

Ain't that a knee slappers? I figured you'd like it my Nesting Doll!

Posted: Fri Dec 06, 2013 3:03 am

Quote:

So that Celine Dion Womern goes into a Bar and the Bartender done says "Hey why the Long Face?"

wait, WHAT? Silly Mals!

Posted: Sun Dec 08, 2013 10:59 pm

I can't say I've ever met a Vlad with such staying power:

Quote:

Hello my angel!

I do not understand you, my love. You write to me of 2 lines.
You do not answer my questions. You do not make my requests!
I do not understand, that you want! You never answer my call.
Why? Unless you do not wish to meet me? The agent writes me letters, but I do not know what to make.
I should close my travel to you? I should pay 860 dollars till
December, 11th if I do not make it I will not fly to you.
They will close I howl the visa! I ask you to go to the Western Union and to send money there.
Really it so is difficult? It will not borrow a lot of time!
I do not understand anything...

Oddly enough Mals doesn't understand anything either:

Quote:

My Russian Princess,

Please don't be Stressing and Fussing cause I is gonna gets to that Bank in the Morning and sorts all this out I will. Baby Doll you don'ts needs to be confused cause I will be looking after everything and then we be unwrapping each other for Christmas we will for sure for sure!

Darling Lover please leaves this with me and I'll be catching you on the flip flop.

Posted: Sun Dec 08, 2013 11:52 pm

Hey, it's approaching year's end when all good scammers total up their gains. Just like CEOs.