Do they even read? Anastasiya....

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Baiting Guru Joined: 19 Mar 2012 Posts: 5380

This gem is from http://forum.419eater.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=233157

Thank you for your recent correspondence. I find your name to be too long for my liking.
I shall call you BoomBoom. It is a royal word held only for the most special people in my life.
I hope you write again,

Quote:

Hi
Thanks for writing me on my email. I think, we can to learn each
other. To say short about me: My full name Anastasiya, but my friends
and parents call me Nastya. I live in Russia. I am 33 years old. I
never been married. I do not have children, I think, I have not found
the man with whom I would like to have them. I want to plan the future
together with my husband. I dream of the family and a cosiness. It
what does not suffice me here.
I hope that I will not frighten you with my thoughts, I want simple
female happiness, to be happy and to be loved by my man. Russia is the
big country, here there live the most different people. However, I
have not met my man, my soulmate. I want to be honest and I want you
knew my purposes. I will send you a photo, and would like to see your
pic too. I Wait for your letter. Anastasiya

Hello,
Thank you so much for writing.
I am 47 and live in the USA.
Most of my brain activity is damaged due to
a space ship exploding when I was in Afghanistan.
It hurts to think sometimes.
I can only write to you when they aren't watching.

You are pretty,

Baiting Guru Joined: 19 Mar 2012 Posts: 5380

Quote:

I have come on the a post e-mail yahoo
and have seen your letter. I am glad to receive your letter.
I think that to you interesting from where at me yours the electronic address, I have seen on an acquaintance site,
and have decided to write to you. Well I really any more do not remember that for a site was, and where I saw your e-mails.
Why I have chosen you, I feel that that this heart has prompted to me that you that man about whom I want to learn more.
Some days ago I could not assume that I will write the letter to the man who lives in other country... Do not think that I thoughtless.
I the serious girl, but thus at me good sense of humour.
Now I am on work, and I read your small letter.
Eyam, it is pleasant to me to know that the distance between our countries is not a problem for you.
I continue to speak about myself. Mine date of birth 1979, I was born on July, 4th. Mine a sign on a horoscope the Cancer.
I want to tell concerning age, I think that differences which between our age it not a problem to learn the friend of the friend.
As for me it is a problem, I think that at any age it is possible to meet the only thing the man with whom wants to be always. You agree with me?
Mine a city in which I live Tver, I was born in the city and I continue to live there to me very much the city is pleasant mine,
it is near to Moscow approximately 170 kilometres. You can look at mine a city on the Internet.
You like to visit a beach? Please, do not become angry that I set to you many questions.
I very much like a beach, I love the sun, to sunbathe, the bathing season in my city will already soon open,
and on a beach there will be a lot of people. Your city already people goes on a beach?
I wanted to ask you where work? You have hobby? What do you like to do?
I work in the process engineer. I equip an oil and gas deposit. Primary activity - monitoring of building of oil objects.
I should work much with people. Also in my submission there is a department on work with clients.
My post demands from me many attention and responsibility. I like my work.
Please tell about itself as, I want to continue to learn you and as the new photos it have gone to me allows me to learn about yours a way of life.
Now I should go to continue to work. I wait for your letter. Anastasiya

Thank you for your extremely lengthy correspondence filled with pieces of a story that I did not need to hear.
I like nice short letters. Especially since I am being watched.

My days are filled with mandatory group meetings and sometimes we sing.
I used to work but I didnt like it. Its ok since my uncle, Donald Trump sends me money every month.

As far as the beach goes, I don't like beaches. They can see you there unless you wear the special hat.

Baiting Guru Joined: 21 Nov 2010 Posts: 2200

Posted: Wed Jun 12, 2013 8:48 pm

Sorry but I couldn't concentrate on any of the Bait after this:

Quote:

I shall call you BoomBoom.

With time I might get over it....

Posted: Wed Jun 12, 2013 11:31 pm

At least you know it isn't a translator scam.

Baiting Guru Joined: 27 Mar 2011 Posts: 21158

My Nastya has so many personalities. Great stuff Ginger!

Baiting Guru Joined: 19 Mar 2012 Posts: 5380

Quote:

Good morning Eyam!
The beginning of my day, begins with that that I come on the the mailing address to read your letter and answer you it.
I am glad to see your letter on we wash the computer. I read your letters and I write you my letters from my private office.
I have the house computer, and it was certainly fine to communicate with you on skype or web cam, well there
is many program for dialogue through the Internet. Which I live in the house have been constructed not for a long time
and while the house is not connected to the Internet.
But I hope that it will soon connect also I can write to you from the house. And we can communicate on web cam.
Unfortunately, on my office computer there are no skype, yahoo Messenger, and other similar programs for a chat.
But I will give you my phone number 8910. How many time in your city, I do not know how many hours
of a difference between our cities? I am probable, it expensively to call from your country to Russia, therefore send me sms.
I will be glad to receive it.
My growth of 171 centimetres (5,7 foots). My weight of 57 kg (126 pounds). The last letter I asked to you about your hobby,
and I have not written the, my hobby, my pets, I have 3 cats, and one dog, my name of dog Popi, cats, Iriska, Laiker, Cherry.
I so love the pets there is my small a weakness these are flowers. Each girl to love flowers. Very much it is pleasant to me flowers on name Calla,
after I have white roses.
I have green - dark blue colour of eyes and dark hair, I the natural brunette.
As it is pleasant to look films, I like a melodrama, a comedy. Eyam as it is pleasant to you genres of films?
One of these days I looked The Great Gatsby.
I very much liked this film. In the end of a film I have begun to cry, such love show only films.
And still I have a big collection dvd disks about 2300 disks with different films, sometimes
we sisters and with girlfriends buy a new film and we gather at me in apartment we look at 60 inches the TV dvd films.
I too dream of strong love as in Russia I have not met such man.
I have two favourite colours dark blue and green. As my eyes:)
Now we with you at all do not know each other. To you there is a feeling is a curiosity.
It is interesting to me to continue acquaintance to you, and I hope that my letter does notbecome finishing in
our dialogue now I should return to my work. Anastasiya

Yes, wash the computer. We have 24 hours in my city.
I can't call your number. I have phonophobia.
My genres of films: Hardcore porn.
I like dogs and cats too, they are very tasty if
you fatten them up. I prefer dog legs and cat brains.
Yum!
I prefer brown eyed blondes but since I'm stuck with you
I'll make due with what you've got.
I have to go to work too.
You know the commercial "WE BUY ANY CAR. ANY.ANY.ANY..."
I watch that.
ok
bye

Baiting Guru Joined: 19 Mar 2012 Posts: 5380

Quote:

Hello Eyam!
Before to begin the letter I has read your letter well before it has made to itself green tea. And during time reading I drank tea.
I am very glad that between us there is an understanding. It is very important in dialogue.
Eyam As there was your day yesterday? Yesterday I and my friends went on a beach. We had a good time. I love summer, I love the sun.
We bathed in the river and played with a ball. Weather in my city of +25 degrees. What weather your city?
It very much hot. I thought of you. I thought that would be fine, if you were together with us. I want to acquaint you with my friends.
I spoke to my friends about you. I wanted to share pleasure that I have you. My friends have reacted ambiguously.
Someone said that it is impossible to trust foreigners. Someone has on the contrary told that there
are many happy pairs between foreign men and Russian girls. I do not want to think of the bad. I always think of the good. I the optimist.
I love the girlfriends. With them I can spend much time.
Mine handy Eyam in the afternoon I work and I can pass your call, therefore do not become angry, if I pass your call or send to me sms.
Eyam what music to you is pleasant to you? I want to tell that that I can listen to any music, usually depend from mood.
I would be glad to communicate to you in a reality, we could go with you on a beach, or in the evening walk under stars.
We write our letters each other. How many the letter was not written by us each other one our real meeting to replace what the letter.
I hope, I do not frighten you of my desires. Yes, you for me are more than simply pleasant interlocutor.
I want to look in your eyes, I want to hear your voice.
I was married when, I do not have children. But children life flowers.
Never before, I did not communicate with men from other country. You the unique man to whom I write.
Now I have no man. I have no friend. My last relations with the man have ended two years ago.
I had the friend and I thought, we will be together all life. We lived in my apartment of 8 months.
But then I have learnt that it changed to me. To me it was very sick and it is insulting. We have talked to it frankly and have left.
We have left without quarrels and scandals. I was disappointed in it.
Since then I had no man. I do not search for short-term relations. I want to find the unique man with whom I will spend my life.
Eyam I do not want to hurry up not to lose our friendship. But I do not want to hesitate. Life is short.
Therefore I want that you knew that it is very interesting to me with you.
And I very much hope that our friendship has chance to become good relations.
Eyam what woman you want to see nearby yourself? What qualities at it should be.
The man which near to me it should be careful, kind always to help the woman,
That always spoke it is sincere and not that did not hide, My man should be reliable protection and a strong support of our family.
I think that in relations between the man and the woman there should be an Understanding, trust, friendship and, naturally, love!
I think that if there will be no understanding and the trust between the friend the friend that will not be happiness.
Eyam? I trust you and I will give you my home address. You can send me a card.
I will be glad to receive it.

Full name Nastya Kozllova, the Country Russia, City of Tver, street Smirnovoj 5 index 170027.

I will wait the letter as it is possible more soon.
With kisses, Anastasiya

Have you ever experienced Déjà vu?
Have you ever looked in a mirror and said "damn, I look good today"?
Have you ever been in the shower, found a scab on your navel and then realize it was just a potato chip crumb?
Have you ever eaten it?

The marchers march, drummers drum, walkers walk and runners run.
Sometimes it rains, sometimes it snows, sometimes it's sunny and sometimes it's dark.
I like grilled cheese.
I hate scrapple.
Are russian pies made of real russians?
Do they take the bones out?

Sometimes I am awake, sometimes I sleep, sometimes I wake screaming covered in sweat.
Have you ever had a staring contest with a stray dog?
Do it. You'll thank me.
Is rabies real contagious? I wish you would kiss me and find out.

And now for interesting key words.
Love and stuff. Rainbows are cool. Would give you a dozen roses if they were all well rotted.
I have stomach pains thinking about reading any more of your garbage,
Eyam

Baiting Guru Joined: 21 Nov 2010 Posts: 2200

Eyam whot Eyam and thats all there is to it. Laughing

Baiting Guru Joined: 19 Mar 2012 Posts: 5380

I'll have to start to pay attention when it starts asking for money. That should be coming any day now (I hope).

Posted: Fri Jun 14, 2013 7:45 pm

This is fabulous. She couldn't have read the email. If she had, she would spewed the green tea your letter made for her all over her keyboard.

Baiting Guru Joined: 19 Mar 2012 Posts: 5380

Ah, perhaps this is why she 'wash the computer'.

Baiting Guru Joined: 19 Mar 2012 Posts: 5380

Quote:

Hello Eyam,
Today in my city a sunny day. It seems to me that the nature rejoices together with us! Now I on work.
Every day, I learn you more, and to me starts to seem that I know you for a long time, dialogue with you brings to me pleasure.
You know, I start to have feeling to you, and my feelings already more than simply sympathy. Your letters, an obligatory part of my day,
it is necessary for me to know that at you all be good, otherwise, I cannot the quiet. I do not want to hasten,
and I am not guided by emotions, I sincerely speak to you about the feelings.
Eyam, it seems to me, what exactly you the man from whom I want to learn about you all.
You beautiful, clever, are interesting to me with you, we have some general interests, and the main thing at us with you the identical purposes,
and with you it will be together easier to us to realise our dreams in a reality. You agree with me?
I think of ours with you to a meeting. I would like to be near to you. Our first meeting will present to us possibility to learn each other.
We can spend some time together, and construct to the plan for the future life. You could arrive to Russia?
I as have a passport which allows to travel all over the world.
I have a possibility to have vacation 2 times a year, but often I unite them. This year I yet was not on vacation.
I prefer to have a rest in the summer. I very much like summer.
Eyam when you will have vacation? Yesterday I have thought that would be fine if we could have vacation in at one time.
What do you think of it? You want our meeting?
Today at me it is a lot of work. I also will take work home to have time to execute all by tomorrow.
How passes your day today? Concerning my mobile phone mine number +7 910-647-28-44.
I spoke with the operator of the cellular communication, I have asked as probably to make other country to me have told that is necessary a city code.
And when the countries. Mine a code of the city of Tver 4822. A code the Country + 7.
Try to type a country code, then a code of a city and mine phone number,
I hope that you can call to me and we can communicate with you in English easy.
Eyam, you have bad habits? I do not have bad habits. I not when did not smoke and I do not smoke.
I care of the health. I very seldom drink alcohol, on the big holidays I can sometimes drink a glass of white wine or a champagne glass.
You think of me? I think of you during the day much.
Together with the letter today, I send you a new photo.
Now it is necessary for me to go to continue to work. I want to wish you all most the best.
I wait for your letter and answers to my questions. Anastasiya

My BoomBoom
How very nauseous I am to have read your reply.
One of the guys here smuggled in some E.
I took some and I think I'm now addicted.
I thought it was extacy, however it was estrogen.
I've grown boobs, or man boobs. My roommate Bubba calls them moobs.
He says he has a nice surprise for me tonight at lockdown.
I hope it's candy! I like candy.

Have you ever gone to sleep wearing one thing and wake up wearing something completely different?
I hate when that happens
ok
bye

Baiting Guru Joined: 27 Mar 2011 Posts: 21158

I don't know about her but I just washed mine!

Baiting Guru Joined: 19 Mar 2012 Posts: 5380

She still isn't reading!!!

Quote:

Hi dear Eyam,
Thanks for your letter today. Thoughts on you bring to me good mood. When I cannot see your letters,
I think of us with you, and I have a good mood. I have just read your letter.
Eyam, I am grateful to you, for your support. How is the weather your city? Now in my city + 24 degrees to shine the sun and in the street hot.
Than was engaged last night? After work I have come into shop have bought vegetables, meat.
I will be prepares meat garlick sauce with vegetables. What do you like fish or meat more?
You like to cook food? I like to study new a dish and to prepare them. I know many recipes preparation a dish.
I like Mexican, French cuisine. As it is pleasant seafood. You tried oysters?
It is pleasant to me of an oyster.
I want to tell that while in my house have not spent the Internet, well I think that will be fast it, and we can communicate on skype,
or web cam and as to have dialogue in a chat, well while it is not possible as houses have not spent the Internet.
Eyam, ours with you the friendship very much is pleasant to me. Earlier. I to you had a feeling of curiosity. Now I had a feeling
of sympathy to you.
Very much for a long time I had no feeling which is in my heart now.
I have a sensation that we with you are familiar with you very much for a long time.
You have questions to me? I want that between us should what secrets.
Please, repeat the questions for me when I forget to answer your questions. ok?
Eyam as you consider your future? What do you want in the future and whether you that I was a part of your future want?
You would like that your future wife was till the end of your life? I want to marry only once and to be happy.
In the letter it is difficult to express words, which I want to test those feelings, I want to look in your eyes, and to listen to you.
The sight, can transfer much more words. You agree with me? Our meeting will help us to learn each other.
Yes, I already seriously think of our meeting.
The first meeting will present to us possibility to learn each other. We can spend some time together, and construct to the plan for the future life.
Please, tell to me about your feelings in the following letter. Well? I wait your new letter.
Kisses... Anastasiya

It is bad luck to kill crickets. Always eat pork on new years day. If you drop a knife you will have a male visitor. You can lead a horse to water but love don't pay the rent.
I love the feeling of shea butter on my skin. I tried to eat it once but had something called anaphylaxis. I'm also supposed to stay away from latex. Speaking of latex, I think I would like to paint some all over your body.
Did you know there are kegel excercises for men so our ball sacks don't get in the way sitting when we age. Ah, the things I learn whilst on a manditory 'vacation'.
Speaking of kegels, I hope you are doing yours. No one likes a loosey-goosey.
I've also learned that wearing underwear on your head during sentencing will get you a free evaluation from a psychiatrist. Nurse Ratchet wears white stockings and has an ugly mole on her nose. I tried to lick it off but that got me a nice set of restraints and some free electroshock therapy. It tastes like metal in my mouth. Hey, have you ever pissed on an electric fence?
I'm sitting here wondering why yankee doodle would stick a feather in his hat. Do you wear hats? I hate flourescent lights. The buzzing keeps me from hearing the other voices. They want me to stop now. I like liver.
ok,
bye

Posted: Wed Jun 19, 2013 2:05 pm

Wait!

Quote:

Than was engaged last night?

I thought he said he was single!

Baiting Guru Joined: 19 Mar 2012 Posts: 5380

^I missed that!

Baiting Guru Joined: 19 Mar 2012 Posts: 5380

Quote:

Hello darling Eyam,
Till the end of my working day there were 2 hours. Today there was an unlucky day and your letter I read after all the work...
I understand everything that you speak about our feelings. It is pleasant to me to know, about it.
Today I have learnt that that mobile communication in Russia very expensive. To the operator to which I am connected to the
local cellular provider and consequently my phone works only in Russia. Unfortunately, we cannot speak on the phone with you or exchange sms.
It is sad for me. But I will search for a way to call to you from post office for telegraph. I suspect days I learn about it.
Never earlier I thought that it is possible to have a feeling of love to the person which never met.
Earlier, I did not know that it is possible to love on distance. I concerned such stories with irony, but now there is you at me!
As I told that that I was married when and as I do not have children, well children flowers of our life.
I am done not frightened by that between us is more distance in thousand kilometres..
Between us with you the distance, but our feelings will help us to overcome distance. I miss you..
I have caught myself on thought that I do not have not enough you...
But I do not wish to do fast paces, I wish to have a meeting with you together to spend time and talk to you in live dialogue. You agree with me?
After our meeting we can forget about the letter and talk in a reality.
We with you the first meeting will give the chance to us to learn better each other.
Though, already I think that is familiar with you throughout the whole life.
You appreciate what qualities in the person? I appreciate such character traits, as punctuality tactfulness, accuracy, ability to listen kindness.
I the girl, and what strong I would not seem, I like caress and tenderness.
Eyam, I dream of your embraces.
I often think of you. Recently in my head more and more thoughts on you. I represent our first appointment. Eyam, what you think of it?
How you represent our first appointment? How you represent our first meeting? I often think of it. It is very disturbing!
How you see your future? In your future there is I? Forgive my questions, but I should know your thoughts. It is very important for me.
I want to be yours girlfriend. Tell to me that you think of it.
Thanks for that you answer my questions from the last letter. It is rather important for me. I also answer your questions.
Please, do not hesitate to repeat to me questions which I forget to answer. My work takes attention from me.
I do not have many affairs on work today. I already have finished all.
What plans at you for this evening?
I think that I will come home I will make a supper and I will go to bed! Today I think that I will prepare, red fish in milk.
It was remarkable, if we were a number. I want to hold your hand and to walk in the street... Or has made to you a supper!
I should go now... To me very much a reluctance to leave you. Eyam, I think of you always.
When I check mail and I do not see your letters, to me is very sad and lonely.
I miss you... Anastasiya

My BoomBoom,
I still have 24 hours in my day. Every day for me is unlucky. I am happy you understand my feelings. Mobile communication is expensive in Russia, I understand. I am allergic to sms and wish you would stop nagging me about it. Your wanting to send me a telegraph tells me how truly stupid you are. Ummm, duh...we have email. Why the hell would you want to telegraph me?
I have a confession to make, I too was once married. I accidently broke my wife's neck and ate her brains. I then buried her in the backyard. I did dig her up a day later but I was very drunk and it had been a while since I had, well, you know...
I don't want any more talking about having children. They are loud and selfish and I fear that some of them may actually look like you. I cannot support your desire to breed when you are clearly an unsuitable human. Sure, I'd like to dig away at your brains, but save the breeding for some other unlucky fellow. Speaking of brains, have you had a head CT lately? I would LOVE to see it.
You ask about my plans this evening...I will be watching asian midget porn. It's the special amputee trifecta. I shall sleep very well tonight. I hope I am in your nightmares tonight.
I think I'm starting to fall in hate with you.
Eyam

Posted: Fri Jun 21, 2013 12:30 am

Aww C'mon she is trying her best to be trying:

Quote:

Thanks for that you answer my questions from the last letter. It is rather important for me. I also answer your questions.
Please, do not hesitate to repeat to me questions which I forget to answer.

The Kopek Question is on the Horizon however:

Quote:

How you represent our first appointment? How you represent our first meeting? I often think of it.

I'm having visions of Beaches, Travel Agents and Russian Swine!

Baiting Guru Joined: 19 Mar 2012 Posts: 5380

Don't forget crabs!!!

Baiting Guru Joined: 21 Nov 2010 Posts: 2200

I thought I had a twisted mind. Oh wait I must, I understood all of it.
Carry on. Twisted Evil

Posted: Fri Jun 21, 2013 1:29 am

^Most of it went over my head cause I just ain't that way. I'll try to keep my Carbs up though....

I'm just itching to tell you bunch the results too!

Baiting Guru Joined: 19 Mar 2012 Posts: 5380

^I hear they sell a lotion for that.

This is weird, this email showed up today, however it looks like it was sent 2 days ago:

Quote:

With my mail there are small problems if you have not received my letter please write to me as my letter could not reach you, I write to you every day except
Sunday if in what that put you has not received my letter, please write to me as to mean my letter is not has reached you. Question

I hope that it is a time problem and will not be fast it, I wait for yours the letter

BoomBoom
Fast it was not
Problems you had
Email delayed it was
Reached me it did
2 day delay it had
Possible time warp there was

Baiting Guru Joined: 27 Mar 2011 Posts: 21158

I got the same one today after a week of nothing.

Baiting Guru Joined: 19 Mar 2012 Posts: 5380

I blame g0merovski.

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