My mother has been an (attempted) victim of a scammer.

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Hello I'm New here! Joined: 13 Apr 2013 Posts: 2

What should I do?

She met him on OK Cupid and within about 2 days he was "madly in love" with her and was sending her paragraphs worth of poetry in every message and calling her "My Love" and "Darling" that quickly.

He said he was very rich and that as soon as he got back from his job on an oil rig, he would come and see her and take her away on a wonderful vacation and buy a house for the two of them to live happily ever after in... and this was only about a week after meeting her.

Then he says that his daughter, who was training to be a professional ballroom dancer and would often go on trips around the world to competitions with her dancing school, had fallen and broken her leg while in Germany, and she didn't have the money for medical bills.

He said that he couldn't wire the daughter any money because he was on the oil rig, and that it would be really helpful if my mom could send something like $4,000 to a specified address, so she could get the medical bills paid, and then when he got off the oil rig and came to pick up my mom, he would pay her back double and then, as he promised before, whisk her away to paradise.

She believed every single word of it.

Luckily, she hasn't a penny to her name, so she couldn't send him anything. I told her that it was an obvious scam but she wouldn't believe me. She was practically ready to disown me because I "didn't want (her) to be happy".

Eventually, after she assured this guy that she didn't have the money to send, he pretended he didn't know her. He replied to her emails like "Who are you? What are you talking about? Love? I don't even know you! You've got the wrong guy!", but it was still the same email address. Then he blocked her email, blocked her on Facebook, deleted his OK Cupid account and blocked our phone number (and yes, she had called and texted him).

So she was distraught. She more or less had to believe what I and everyone else had been telling her since day 1, this guy was a con artist.

But then he sends he an email about a month later, saying that he didn't know what happened and that she must have been sending emails to the wrong person and that his phone was broken (which was all nonsense). Now he says that he's going to be coming into town in the next few days... and this time he needs her to wire him some money so he can rent a car to get to where we live. He assures her that he was coming in that weekend, and that, as before, he would pay her back and then whisk her off to paradise.

Well, she of course tells him that she has no money to give him, because she doesn't. He never shows up. He stops contacting her for about another month.

Then I find out that she's been taking to him online for the past few weeks and that he is, of course, playing lovey dovey with her, writing walls of poetry (that he obviously just copied and pasted from somewhere) and swearing that he's going to come and see her soon.

I'm sick and tired of it and I want this man stopped. Especially since my mom is eating up every bit of it and is once again screaming at me that I'm trying to ruin her life and that she wants to disown me and blah blah blah.

I have his name (probably a pseudonym), his apparent daughter's name (which probably doesn't exist), his apparent place of employment (which probably is fake) and his Email address. My mom also has his phone number but I'm sure she won't give me it.

What can I do?

Baiting Guru Joined: 28 Feb 2013 Posts: 3152

I'm very sorry to hear your mothers been taken in like this. There are a few things you can do, but not very much.
Take some relief from the fact she hasn't and can't send him money for a start. Stay calm as much as you can with her, as she is going to need your help and support to get through this. Scammers are skilled at convincing their victims that anyone who tries to warn them are working against them.
I suggest you visit scamwarners if you haven't already, the links at the top of the page in the partner websites section, and look to see if anyone else has fallen victim to this particular scammer. If they have, try to share this with your mum. If they haven't post his details there. Either way contact one of the mods there who'll be able to assist you a lot better than most of us here. If this inspires you to start baiting these criminals, grab yourself a mentor who'll help you immensely in making their lives a misery, while baiting safely.
I'm also sure that some members here would like to get your mums scammers details, but I would recommend against baiting him yourself.

Baiting Guru Joined: 27 Mar 2011 Posts: 21158

Welcome to the board, I wish it wee under other circumstances but I am glad to know that no significant amount of money has gone to this criminal. That is sound advice above as the people there are very good at dealing with victims and families.

Hello I'm New here! Joined: 13 Apr 2013 Posts: 2

Alright, I posted over on Scam Warners. Let's see what happens...

Posted: Sun Apr 14, 2013 3:37 am

Sorry to hear of your family problems.

If I can be so bold as to offer one piece of advice: when you speak to your mother about this problem, emphahise that you DO love her and you DO want her to be happy, that's why you are so concerned about this scammer, he wants to rob her and leave her with nothing.

Try and stick to logic and reason, despite the emotion involved in romance scamming.

Posted: Sun Apr 14, 2013 6:47 am

Lads have the knack of squeezing money out of people who are broke. Love lads specialize in using victims to cash bad cheques, accept goods bought on stolen credit card information or even muling cash from other victims.

The advice you have been given by other members is good. I'm sure the team over at Scamwarners will be able to give you lots of help and assistance.

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