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Posted: Wed Aug 26, 2015 6:25 pm

Quote:

Dear Sir,

I'm still waiting to be arrested. Please ask them to hurry as I need a good meal.

Thank You,

Posted: Sat Sep 12, 2015 9:57 pm

TJ's new love 'Jeremy' was whining that he doesn't have money for food. Sadly neither does TJ:

Quote:

Jeremy Asshat: l eat an african food. that is yam
TJ: Sounds goodly
Jeremy Asshat: yes
TJ: I had me some bacon and eggs and toast and home fries and coffee and biscuits and gravy and some orange juice and sausages and pancakes with syrup and rich creamery butter. Not much really.

Posted: Tue Sep 22, 2015 7:00 pm

Lad calls me at a phone number in SF from a phone number in Fremont. He tells me to ship product to Lithuania.

Quote:

How come you have a phone number in California if you're in Lithuania?

Quote:

This is a roaming number.

Quote:

That's not a Roman number! A Roman number would be in Italy!

Posted: Sun Oct 04, 2015 1:33 am

James Comey of the FBI began with

Quote:

FBI OFFICIAL NOTICE: We have just received your email, and its contents were well noted and understood, you have to understand that the duty of the FBI is to protect you form terrorist and money laundering activities.

Yada yada yada.

Cammy's reply began with:

Quote:

When did I write to you? I hope it isn't happening again...

And in another message:

Quote:

I have to ask what I wrote in the original email to you. I've had trouble with going into disassociative states before, and I hope what I wrote wasn't nasty or anything.

Then the Lad replied with this opening line:

Quote:

because of the goodness and love which i have where you are was the reason i sent you an email concern this issue

So Cammy sent back:

Quote:

Just so that you know, when I zone out, what I write might not be what I really mean. I must have been hot and heavy - sorry if I gave you the wrong idea.

Posted: Wed Oct 07, 2015 5:47 pm

Same bait as the previous post, and the Lad blundered by telling Cammy to send the money to Benin. Cammy queried that, and the Lad's reply began

Quote:

With all due respect of you email which was received just right now regard what you said why are you sending the fee to Benin, why it is from Nigerian ok

Cammy was scathing in return, with the opening words reflecting her vanity.

Quote:

"With all due respect" - my cute perfect sexy ass!

Posted: Fri Oct 16, 2015 9:28 am

Meanwhile, another Lad (in chat) who claimed to be in Turkey found Cammy rather confusing as she zoned out and started 'singing' in chat (and typing imperfectly).

Quote:

Cammy:‎ What's happeing in Istanbul
Cammy:‎ nt constantinople why did constatiople get the works
Lad: just cold
Cammy:‎ thats nobdys business wbut the trusk
Lad: whats the meaning of constatiople
Cammy:‎ take me back to constantiniple no you cant go bac to contaninople now its istabnl not constaobople why did tcnsontantpople get te worssk that's nobbodys ubusines but the trisks
Cammy:‎ BT THE TUSKS!!!!!!!!!!!
Lad: i dont understand
Lad: do you undertand who you are chattting with
Cammy:‎ Have you ever had that drream
Cammy:‎ when your wlaking naked down the stret
Cammy:‎ and everynodu stares
Lad: noo
Lad: why will i
Lad: thats bad
Lad: why did you say that
Cammy:‎ do you ever fall so deep
Lad: am confuse
Cammy:‎ that you speak your mond and everyone goes to sleep
Cammy:‎ You wondr if anyene cares
Lad: yes
Lad: give me some minues i wanna go buy something down
Lad: will check back on you
Cammy:‎ sometmes i think im h only one
Lad: any problem
Lad: you speak some hpow
Lad: how
Cammy:‎ whos days tured ou like they just begun
Cammy:‎ because im
Cammy:‎ BARE NAKED
Cammy:‎ and i
Cammy:‎ CANT TAKE IT
Cammy:‎ Im getting jaded i can
Cammy:‎ t
Cammy:‎ TAKE IT ANY MORE
Lad: baby
Lad: whats wrong
Lad: tell me

Posted: Sun Oct 18, 2015 7:35 am

Fishing for a bank account from an impatient lad:

Quote:

I tried everything. Changing the blinker fluid, replacing the muffler bearings, even reversing the polarity of the radiator. My car still won't start. I'll have to have it towed to the repair shop. Western Union's just going to have to wait until my brother can give me a ride next weekend.

Posted: Sun Oct 25, 2015 12:15 pm

I'm baiting a loan lad in German. He writes in English and runs it through a translator. I took some of the English words passed through by the translator to be German and wrote:

Quote:

Ist es möglich, den Know aus dem Darlehen abzuziehen? Oder muss ich den Know bezahlen?

Quote:

Was ist das Konto, darok ich die Knöwe okschicken muss?

Posted: Fri Oct 30, 2015 12:34 am

Sent this to my Lovelad Cherry trying to explain the outcome of my brain surgery. Before the surgery I was sending messages worse than LOL talk.

Quote:

Dear Cherry,

I'm sorry but I don't remember what our relationship is. The Doctor says my motor functions are now good but my long term memory's are all gone. He said he nicked my Recto-optical nerve during the operation.

Please tell me more about who you are ok?

For those who do not know the joke. The Recto-optical nerve is a nerve that goes from your eyes to your Arsehole and gives you a shitty outlook on life.

Posted: Thu Nov 05, 2015 6:00 am

A frustrated lad after being called dumber than a box of rocks wrote:

I am not dumb. Apologise to me by the end of the week or be struck down by lightening!!!

I wrote:

Sweetie, the only way I'm going to be struck down by lightning by the end of the week is if there happens to be a bad thunderstorm around here and I happen to climb up the tallest hill in the area wearing metal underwear then scream my defiance to the gods while holding a lightning rod above my head.

Posted: Tue Nov 17, 2015 3:51 am

I'm baiting a dying widow in Portuguese. She told me to contact the banker and tell him my bank account. I gave him

Quote:

Código de andorinhão:

Um andorinhão is a kind of bird with tiny feet.

Baiting Guru Joined: 17 Sep 2006 Posts: 5905

Dr Frank wanted to know what I would be wearing for our big business meeting in Brussels so I let him know.

Quote:

Dear Dr Frank,

I will meet you there. Thank you for letting me know what you will be wearing. I will be wearing my birthday suit so will be easily recognisable to everyone.

Regards,

Posted: Thu Nov 26, 2015 12:29 am

To a product lad:

Quote:

The grates are not fragile, but can be damaged by scratching, so each one is wrapped in thin pepper and the whole stack is padded with machine.

Posted: Thu Nov 26, 2015 7:41 am

^I am excessively amused by your "pepper" vx. Time to season my own baits.
"I do not have a slip my account is pepperless".

Posted: Tue Dec 08, 2015 10:34 am

A Lad asked "why?" and I hope he liked Cammy's answer:

Quote:

If I knew why, I'd know why!

Posted: Sun Dec 13, 2015 11:09 pm

A loan lad who claims these hours

Quote:

(Monday -Friday, 8am - 6pm GMT)
(Saturdays - 11am - 4pm

wrote Annette one message on Saturday and two on Sunday, the last of which asked if she still needs the loan. She wrote back:

Quote:

Why are you so jewelweed?

Something the mods dream up Joined: 22 Apr 2014 Posts: 906

I sent the following

Quote:

and he replied

Quote:

This is to confirm the receipt of your mail and it's content was well noted.

I just sent a blank e-mail Laughing

Posted: Mon Dec 21, 2015 1:44 pm

lad wrote:

You need to give your Mobil number

I wrote:

I don't have a Mobil number, or an Exxon number either.

Posted: Fri Dec 25, 2015 8:52 am

A Lad tried the repetition-repetition-repetition modality in a phone call, prompting this reply inspired by Sting's Russians.

Quote:

You think that saying something makes it true; I don't subscribe to your point of view.
Believe me when I say to you, you need to show me what you say is true.

(Here's the song: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wHylQRVN2Qs)

Posted: Tue Jan 05, 2016 11:03 am

A lad asked if I had a scanner. I gave him a Discworld reference in response.

Quote:

This is the Century of the Fruitbat. Of course I have a scanner!

Posted: Tue Jan 12, 2016 9:13 pm

Product lad wrote:

Sorry for the declination of the first card provided.

I wrote:

Hopefully the next card will have the right ascension.

Posted: Thu Jan 28, 2016 9:37 am

One Albert Lockjaw was said to have given Cammy's name and address to a Lad, prompting her to write:

Quote:

He should have kept his mouth shut, whoever he was.

Posted: Mon Feb 01, 2016 10:01 am

^ Same bait, and a diplomat does not like Cammy for some reason...

Quote:

What is this pretty damsel you don't have manners of approach at all,

What could I do but respond with appropriate mock-medieval parlance?

Quote:

Forsooth, Messire Director, what manner of mortal are you to speak thus?

Posted: Fri Mar 04, 2016 3:08 am

Lad wrote, when he didn't find any money in the account:

Quote:

Await Your Swift Response

I wrote back, asking him to verify the account number, BIC, and routing number (he had put the account number of a Nigerian bank with the other info of the correspondent bank in USA):

Quote:

Awaiting your aba response

It's been a week since the last message; he hasn't spotted the error.

Hello I'm New here! Joined: 10 Mar 2016 Posts: 4

vonpaso xlura wrote:

I'm baiting a dying widow in Portuguese.

Well, shame on you.

Very Happy

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