The Lad Lexicon

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Posted: Thu Feb 28, 2013 6:16 pm

We've got various ladism threads. So here you can give your own interpretation on lad misspellings and malapropisms.
I'll kick off with this gem I just came across.

Quote:

2013 SCAM VICTIM REMENBURSMENT

Remenbursment: Re·men·burs·ment, n (ré·men·búrs·ment)

Def:
1. To return that which you don't have.
2. Compensation that does not exist.

Posted: Thu Feb 28, 2013 7:10 pm

http://www.scamwarners.com/forum/viewtopic.php?f=28&t=63359

satify, v. To present sufficient convincing evidence of something which is totally false.

I'm not sure how to define "swon" though. An anseriform bird that faints in a courtroom?

Baiting Guru Joined: 03 May 2007 Posts: 18313

Quote:

I await your response and also note am hungry,not happy and without being happy,i dont think i can send more love stories and also snapp picture with fraustrating mind.

Quote:

I could see you have been fraustrated,i am a woman of honour and it's impossible for you to ternish my image.

Quote:

The Address i sent to you for westernunion was the address for my previous Hotel,and since you had fraustrated me to abandon the beautiful lady that could help me back to my country,

fraustrated - Adj. Feeling of frustration felt by a fraudster.

Posted: Thu Feb 28, 2013 7:57 pm

Quote:

you which you will start your withdrawal within the very next 72 bankings

Banking, noun, pl. bankings - an arbitrary unit of time, indicating a belief that time and money are one and the same.

Posted: Thu Feb 28, 2013 10:55 pm

Quote:

If you want to recepient of 40% of these funds,forward to me your name,age cell\fax and nationality for more details.

recepient (re'cep'ient')

Verb: To agree to receive money that does not exist.

Posted: Fri Mar 01, 2013 1:14 am

Quote:

I have been suffering from diabetis since the year 2002, almost 11 years now. I am on drugs, but not insulin. I am controlling my diate, and supporting with tablets. This is my health problem, and taken care or controlling of diabetis is too expensive over here, and the food the doctors advice you to take is always cost more than the normal foods. How is the situation of things from your side? Any progress? I was thinking about you and your visit and how I wish you are here this week.

diabetis, Noun, Physical malady induced by lack of Western Union Payments.

diate, Verb, Act of taking pills and dreaming of a non-existent paycheck.

Posted: Fri Mar 01, 2013 2:04 am

Quote:

You are hereby advice to keep your winning to yourself until your winning claims have been processed, this is part of our security to avoid double claiming of your winning prize.

advice - transitive verb, to give (someone/maga) a recommendation about what should be done so that they loose their money

Quote:

...if i did not present his foreign business partner who was the beneficiary of the money to avoid anything bad to happen to the money or i loose the money.

loose - transitive verb, to suffer deprivation of (esp. a maga's money)

Posted: Fri Mar 01, 2013 2:54 pm

Quote:

I Respect God Almighty So Much So I Don't See How I Will Put You In Fear Or To Make You To Be Afraid In Your Life If I Do God Will Grudge My Family.

Grudge: (V. Transitive) The act of putting a mild curse of resentment upon a group of people as a consequence of some theoretical, and highly unlikely action taken by a third party.

Posted: Fri Mar 01, 2013 3:18 pm

Quote:

... nobody came forward all these years to lay clai of the inheritance ...

Clai: (noun) The west african variant of clay, an ancient writing material. The first scripts were imprinted in cuneiform script into soft clay and dried in the sun. The hardened clay tablet could be delivered risk free to the mugus, promising them all riches of the world.

Posted: Fri Mar 01, 2013 4:30 pm

Quote:

Dear Freind,
I dont really understand what you are talking about, are you trying to abuse me or what, let me understand you very well by clearifying your statement,
Ali.

clearify
1. (trans) To cast into darkness; to obscure
2. (trans) To confuse, bewilder or stupefy
3. (intrans) To render something unclear, obscure or confused; to use obscure or impenetrable language.

Synonyms: confound, obfuscate, confuse, obscure
Antonyms: demystify, illuminate, simplify, spell out

Posted: Fri Mar 01, 2013 8:04 pm

You can never find the ones you recall receiving in the past but, as luck would have it, as I was going through old mails for harvesting addies, I came across a classic.

Honestly this is quite genuine.

Quote:

BLAH BLAH BLAH..........
7) Your Occupation
Cool

Sex
9) Your Religion
POST SCROTUM: You have to keep everything secret as to enable the transfer to move very smoothly in to the account you will prove to the bank. I am waiting for your immediate response as you receive this mail. Extend my sincere greetings to your entire family. God bless you and bye for now.

It's why men don't perform on the balance beam in gymnastics.

Posted: Fri Mar 01, 2013 8:57 pm

Posted: Sat Mar 02, 2013 12:35 am

Quote:

WE ARE SORRY FOR ANY INCONTINENCE THE DELAY IN TRANSFERRING OF THIS FUND MUST HAVE CAUSED YOU

1 (n) Discomfort caused by delays in receiving non-existent money

2 (n) A symptom of fraudstration (q.v.) caused by delays in receiving actual money

[Edited to add bolding]

Posted: Sat Mar 02, 2013 11:40 am

Quote:

Hello very expensively in Christ I am called Bruno Lopez. Every day which passes, I very feel sick and I have more and more enough fear in me because of my diabetes

I have a bottom in the nap of ' 450.000 euro which is nothing else than the rest of my properties(goods) and I would like to donate it, in the concerns(marigolds) to set by you to help persons in need. I ask you to accept this sum because she could well you are very useful. I ask you for nothing in return.

That God blesses you

one of the maddest things ive ever received in my catcher, all hail google translate/bablefish

Posted: Sat Mar 02, 2013 9:17 pm

^^^I got the same email yesterday! I wonder what he's like when he gets off script. Laughing

Marigold (n.) One of several species of the Tagetes genus of flowering plants. Identified by orange-yellow blossoms and can grow in varying climates and can thrive even in poor soils. Also can survive in the coarsest and most degraded language, especially when composed by a writer with a limited command of English. Its appearance in a sentence demonstrates the limitations of on-line translators.

Are you baiting him?

Posted: Sat Mar 02, 2013 11:58 pm

yeah im baiting him, so far his emails have become quite dull and use words correctly, he's still on script, need a few more mails from him first and ill see how confused he can get Smile

Posted: Sun Mar 03, 2013 1:44 am

^^Wiktionary (both English and French) says this marigold is Calendula. The English Wiktionary doesn't list any French word for Tagetes; the French Wiktionary lists only Calendula. The plant I call "marigold" is Tagetes, which is "tagette" in French.

Posted: Sun Mar 03, 2013 5:35 pm

^^I have successfully grown Tangetes in some really crappy soil in south Texas and that is the only marigold I knew. I wasn't aware of of Calendula until this thread, so I am learining something.

Wikipedia (English) describes genus Calendula as the "pot marigold", and Tengetes as the "commom marigold." If I hear back from the lad I will ask him which genus he refers to. Wink

Posted: Sun Mar 03, 2013 8:17 pm

Quote:

Your enamel has just been drawn on more than 3000 enamel which was withdrawn on several various meeting places.

Enamel: (n) the coating of the teeth, often worn or broken when the Lad grits his teeth in fraudstration (q.v.) at non-payment or a dollar chop.

Posted: Mon Mar 04, 2013 9:33 am

Quote:

i assure you that as soon as we conclude this deal then you will have enough money to expand your fishering business. You may have to source for all means to raie this money so that we can conclde this deal and then you can have your 1 Million dollars.

fishering, n. Baiting. The use of a net or a line to catch scammers.

raie, v. To borrow from friends, promising to pay them back from imaginary proceeds that will never come.

conclde, v. To pretend to complete an imaginary transaction while making up another obstacle to prevent its completion.

Posted: Mon Mar 04, 2013 7:49 pm

Quote:

to aid the less priviladged

priviladge - n. The pleasure derived from fooling a 419 scammer AKA a lad.
see also priviladged - adj. Describing one who has experienced this pleasure.

Ex. "Sir Crocomire knew not what it meant to be priviladged until he discovered scambaiting."

Posted: Tue Mar 05, 2013 11:16 am

Quote:

Cammy mail address was found among the scam victim in Africa and UN is compasecting those whose mail address were found victim

compasect, -ing (v) - the action of taking a Lad apart bit by bit.

Posted: Tue Mar 05, 2013 12:41 pm

^^^ Then compressing the pieces-parts into a Kick-ball.

Baiting Guru Joined: 07 Jul 2006 Posts: 5727

Quote:

I will need to see a child counsellor tomorrow and explain everything to him and i will get the best advise from them.As soon as i get that,i will write him and email and i will explain everything to him and how he can be useful to the family and also to himself.I think he might be suffering from adolescency and we will let him kow the risk in it.

adolesency - (n) A time in a childs life when he magically transforms from a sweet child into a demon spawn of Satan.

My lad is now giving me advice on how to deal with my 16 year old son who has transformed our basement into a Meth lab.

Posted: Thu Mar 07, 2013 1:23 pm

Quote:

To file for your claim, please contact your fudiciary agent immediately

Fudiciary: fud·icí·ary, n (fúd·icí·áry)

Def:
1. The sound a wad of cash makes when it falls out of your pocket.
2. Wasting time trying to get money that does not exist.