Letters from Kabul.. Mundemba Time!

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Posted: Mon Feb 18, 2013 3:37 pm

Here is General Mark.

An American soldier stationed in Kabul. He uses Lagos servers to send emails (it's more reliable you know).
For some unknown reasons he wants to send me a suitcase full of millions.

I told him no problems.

Some of his gems:

Quote:

I asked a question in my email that if Africa is safer enough for the funds,because i hear negative things about African countries on a daily bases through CNN.

Quote:

Yes am happy to hear that the diplomat has contacted you.I really pray that everything goes very well for us,and if everything works as its planned,my personal promise for you as the Personal assistance to Mr Orens is that i will give you 5% of the total funds inside the suitcase as soon as i arrive Cameroun in few months time after my service here in Kabul,Afghanistan as the Commanding General of US troops.

Quote:

The suitcase is locked with security code which is best known to me alone. And more so,i think it is very important to also let you know apart from myself and Mr Orens,including you as his personal assistance,there is no other human being on this earth that knows the content of the suitcase,and the reason why i do not let anyone knows about it, is because people are very difficult to trust these days when it comes to a large sum of money,they could do anything stupid to get what they want that does not belongs to them. I just hope you understand my concern.

The diplomat had problems in London Heathrow Airport and wants £10,000 for some clearance fees (greedy motherf**r). However, the maga is in Cameroon in a noble mission, he has to come to me in Cameroon and I will pay it in cash. Of course, the maga doesn't deal with ghosts from the internet.

Everything is in order, they contacted a stupid guyman in Benin to do the dirty work and collect the shiny beautiful shiny dollas. This is from the diplomat in London:

Quote:

Thanks for your message.Kindly make sure you gave the Representative the funds in Great British Pounds Sterling Currency,so he can bring it for me on Sunday to get the documentation done with the customs.He will be spending only one night with you in Douala before he return here. Here is his name and his email address: Mr *****. Email address: *******@yahoo.com . He said he will call you today with his phone number as soon as he arrive Republic du Benin.Keep me Updated immediately you are in contact with the Representative.

Waiting to read from you.

Yours in Service,
UN Diplomat Harold.

Here is the phone part where Dr Mike enters the bait.

We gave him two numbers:
1- A Cameroonian number that can't receive calls<< but we can make ongoing calls from it.
2- (Dr Mike) baiting number.

To seal the mugu's fate, Dr Mike called him from the Cameroonian number:
https://soundcloud.com/damn419/dr-mike-benin-mugu

The American General wants to check things:

Quote:

Have you heard anything from the diplomat yet?Please,kindly keep me updated.
Thanks and hope to read from you soon.
Yours Sincerely,
Mark
US Army General.

The diplomat:

Quote:

I understands that my representative has called you from Benin this morning.But he could not get the flight ticket to Douala today being on Sunday.Hopefully tomorrow (Monday) morning,he will get the ticket booked and sent you his flight schedule via email.Remember that you are to give him the balance payment of 9,300 Great British Pounds and the 700 United State Dollars you promised to give him for his flight ticket and his feeding as well.

I really want you to note that the 9,300 should be given to my representative in Great British Pounds Sterling Currency and not in United State Dollars,but you can give him the ticket fees and feeding fees in United State Dollars as you promised.

I hope to read from you concerning the currency you are to give my representative for the payment here in London.

Thank you and we hope to serve you better.

Yours in Service,
UN Diplomat Harold

And finally, the small guyman :

Quote:

this is the copy of my flight booking,
i just need to know your program because diplomat Harold inform me that you will be busy.
departure time is 19:10 in Benin and arrival will be 20:40 at Douala INT air port , so Mr **** let me know your shed as soon as you get this message also you can call me when you are free before my departure time.
await to hear from you,
thank, Mr******

He attached this, what a good lad!

Let's wait and pray he'll land safely Mr. Green

Edit: Update!

Posted: Mon Feb 18, 2013 3:43 pm

Another pith helmet in the making

Posted: Mon Feb 18, 2013 8:22 pm

Sadly lads don't always do what they are told, this lad re booked the ticket and have a new ETA. He sent a new ticket and he is arriving at 15:30 tomorrow afternoon in Douala. There he will be greeted by Fahad, unless something unexpected happens.

Posted: Tue Feb 19, 2013 4:55 pm

I guess he was spooked when we mentioned Mundemba and the fact we can't meet him before 5 pm . Anyway, it's too late now to change the plan.

Here is his new booking:

From the General:

Quote:

Dear Fahad,

How is the situation of things going? I will like to know if you are able to meet with the representative of the diplomat yet. Thank you for your assistance so far.

Yours Sincerely,
Mark
US Army General.

The diplomat:

Quote:

Dear Fahad,

Thank you for your message. Mr ***** told me that you have both arrange the meeting to be this evening at Douala International airport and that you also have the flight schedule as well.I asked my representative to call me on my Mobile line here in United Kingdom as soon as you are together,so i can hear from both of you to confirm your meeting in Douala.

The lad has landed safely and called from his Cameroonian number Mr. Green

Now, the next stage!

Posted: Tue Feb 19, 2013 6:02 pm

Good stuff, im looking forward to where this happy adventure leads Twisted Evil

Posted: Tue Feb 19, 2013 6:12 pm

Yes, indeed something could go wrong. Terribly wrong. Believe me when i tell you all this, but me and Dharma strive to please our lads. We try to give them our hard earned cash when they are out safariing for our pleasure. But something always forks things up for us, or rather for our lads.

He called me as soon as he landed, but that was from his Benin number, so i ignored it, and a few hours later when i came home i tried to call Emanuel, as the lad is called. But his number was not working. So i thought that he might have switched to a Cameroonian number, and i was right. Just a minute later he called me and told me that he had arrived. So i told him that i would call him in 10 minutes, which i did.

https://soundcloud.com/damn419/10-minutes

https://soundcloud.com/damn419/bad-news-for-the-lad

Sadly for the lad he got some bad news, and the bad news was that my son, Badir (Dharma named him during the call), boke his leg so that i cannot leave his sick bed. So the lad was given instructions on how to come to Mundemba some three hours north of Douala. And that was two hours ago and we haven't heard from him. This lad sounds like a trooper to me and i think that he is on his way. Soon we will try to call him and see where he is at. Hopefully he will make contact with the chimpanzees in Korup park later tonight. Very Happy

Posted: Tue Feb 19, 2013 7:06 pm

Now, next stage: Destination Mundemba!

We texted him this:

Quote:

Mundemba, Southwest Province, Ndian Division. When you arrive there, just call me and I will come to pick you up, don't pay the taxi dirver. I will pay him. Welcome to Cameroon and looking forward to meet you soon.

And called him after some time. The idiot is moving again Laughing

https://soundcloud.com/damn419/lad-in-his-own-way

He seems like a good lad and promised to spend the night in Kumba if he can't make it to Mundemba today.

Posted: Tue Feb 19, 2013 7:12 pm

Interesting that £9,300 + $700 = £10,000. I had no idea the rate of exchange had swung so drastically in the States' favor Razz

Posted: Tue Feb 19, 2013 8:38 pm

Check the hats. It won't go well for the lads Wink

Posted: Wed Feb 20, 2013 7:20 pm

The greedy lad has arrived without any incidents to Mundemba Mr. Green

Now, we want him to go to the Chimpanzee Camp, Korup National Park. It's a nice place and surely he will enjoy his time!

The stranded lad speaking to Angy:
http://www.4shared.com/mp3/Ijpaaj4D/Mr_Manuel_237xxxxx_11_36_AM_We.html

Dr Mike giving him the bad news again:
https://soundcloud.com/damn419/chimpanzee-camp

From the diplomat:

Quote:

Dear Fahad,

What is actually going wrong? I had been calling your mobile lines since this morning and you have not been picking my calls. More so,my Representative has been worried after traveling a long distance journey by road from Douala to where you asked him to meet you,yet you are no where to be found,and there is no one you sent to my representative,despite the fact that you know he has no plan than to leave Cameroun the following day which is suppose to be today,because he arrived Cameroun since yesterday afternoon.

Mr Manuel is worried at the moment and he demands to see you or talk to you so as to know what next to do.I want you to know that he knows no one except only you there,and it will not be good enough to abandon him after much stress he has been going through for the success of your delivery to your home address in Cameroun.

By the way,how is your son's feeling now?hope he's feeling much better. I pray he should be granted speed recovery.

Waiting to hear from you asap.

Yours in Service,
UN Diplomat Harold.

This is a map of the lad safari so far:

Posted: Wed Feb 20, 2013 10:02 pm

Bad news, bad news, it is all the lad hear this day.
He came to Mundemba and i told him earlier today that he need to go to the chimpanzee camp as that is where the doctor will arrive with his chopper. And when i called the lad just a few minutes ago he said that he hadn't gone there as it is too far away.

Well sucks to be him, now the whole crew is being flown out just under his nose, just because he was lazy.

https://soundcloud.com/damn419/chimpanzee-camp-time

Oh, and Dharma played the role of some horny chimpanzees in this call. They could smell the lad and just went crazy.

Posted: Thu Feb 21, 2013 9:33 am

^^ It's was a pre-recorded fetish session between you and the prison guard. I just used it as a background.

From the General:

Quote:

Dear Fahad,

I was in the United Nations Office here in Afghanistan this morning and according to the Director of the Delivery Agency,he told me that their representative came to Cameroun and you are not able to locate him for the past two days ago now Mr. Green

e director here is not happy at all and he told me that their representative will have to leave Cameroun by tomorrow morning if you are not able to meet with him.Here is their representative phone number in Cameroun where you are +23****** his name is Emmanuel,please call him and drive to his location and sort things out with him before the end of today.

Thank you very much for your effort so far and i will be expecting your message as soon as you can.

Yours Sincerely,
Mark
US Army General.

The stranded idiot should go back today to Kumba and wait there for the dollas.

Meanwhile, the diplomat is scamming me from a different address and a new format, but with the same IP:

Quote:

Mr. Fahad .

The Beneficiary,
In our effort to serve you better, the Operation Redeem Image Thumbs up

under UN has embarked on an exercise to update you over your Consignment Boxes here in Ghana which has been examined and confirmed as a spendable Cash.

I write to appreciate you no matter whatever your experience has been, I want you to be rest assured that you are at the right place, this is not a risk at all because it's already a finished project as i hereby attached this Video Clip for your eyes only and as a report of the Encounter on your Consignment Boxes.

Note that the only what you need for your Consignment Boxes to be Delivered to you is what is call UNITED NATION DIPLOMATIC IMMUNITY CRATE AND EXPRESS ACCESS CARD THE CRATE AND THE ACCESS CARD WHICH COVER ALL DOCUMENTATION, and it's only going to cost you the Sum of $5, 500 to be Approve and issued for your Consignment Boxes Delivery and in other wards, it simply means that your Consignment wouldn't access delivery without the above mentioned.

Be inform that in any Initiative of Move there is always a Movement therefore Operation Redeem Image shall have it complete upon your readiness to offset the payment so you have to act quickly on this exercise if this Consignment Boxes belongs to you.

As a good maga, I told him about my dealing with General Mark, but he ignored this.
Well, the idiots are self-baiting so I wouldn't complain.

Next step is to dump the stranded guyman and his general in Kabul and see this UN thing (remember, it's the same gang).

Posted: Thu Feb 21, 2013 9:44 pm

What was i supposed to do, it was all i could do to keep the sisters of my back, and out of it.

Anyways, the oga called and to my surprise he was somewhat disappointed in us. So i did the only thing i could. I killed of our beloved son Badir.

And later i called the lad, and when i say later i mean that i let him stow for half day, and i gave him the bad news, and there is crying on the phone.

https://soundcloud.com/damn419/burial-ceremony

I don't know if it was the memories of the sisters and my sore ass but i put on quite a show and cried to the lad over the loss of my now dead fictitious son. And the lad ended up telling me that he would wait in Douala for me. Very Happy

Posted: Fri Feb 22, 2013 2:37 pm

We have postponed the next stage because the idiot wants to be stranded more. What can we do? Give him his wish!! Mr. Green

From the diplomat:

Quote:

Dear Fahad,

Now i can understand you very clearly and i must sent my condolence regarding the death of your son.I really sympathize with you and i am indeed deeply very sorry about the death of your son.

More-so,i called the Director of our delivery department this morning regarding your situation at the moment,and he sent his condolence as well,and also accept to grant you the two day you requested for.But my question is that are you very sure of meeting with Mr. Mmanuel in two days time to sort out the transaction with him?please kindly let me know deeply from your heart. Regarding my telephone number you requested for,here is it: +4477****but you may not be able to get me with this line not until Monday afternoon when i return back to London, because my Director ask me to quickly represent him and attend a meeting at the United Nations Peace Keeping Center over in Accra-Ghana tomorrow afternoon and am getting ready to leave in an hour time to fly to Ghana from London this afternoon. Nevertheless, i will call you when i arrive Ghana this Evening and give you my line in Ghana,so we can discuss at length over the email you received from one Mrs Annan, whom i verified her name after reading your email this morning,and it was confirmed to me by United Nations Chamber Of Commerce that her name is not on the list of the people who has consignment to be delivered to anywhere in the world. I will advice you to close or stop any communication with her or anyone who contact you either by your email or on your mobile phone except Mr. Mmanuel and myself alone.

Once again,i sympathize to you about the death of your son.

Hope to read from you soon.

Posted: Sun Feb 24, 2013 10:10 pm

https://soundcloud.com/gemima-1/angy-crying

Poor Emanuel has had enough, he has travelled a bit. From home in Benin, crossed over Nigeria to reach Douala in Cameroon.

Douala to Kumba, (110KM) overnight in Kumba missing his return flight! Kumba to Mundemba, and then to Korup National Park. No meeting due to tragedy in the Samil family, so lad had to reverse direction back to Douala.

Samil family decamped to Ngambe Tikar but for some reason lad will not travel. Mrs Samil cried, but the lad won't move further . Can't get the staff these days!

All is not lost however - - - - they have a guyman in London and there is a nice webcam in The Elephant House in Edinburgh Scotland. Watch this space.

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