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Tururut
Elite Baiter
Joined: 13 Jun 2011
Posts: 1597
Location: Lost in translation
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Posted:
Thu Jan 10, 2013 5:28 pm |
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Anyone familiar with the BBC Series "Yes, minister"? Well, the head of the civil service uses really long sentences in order to confuse the less than bright Minister. So, what better to answer a lad that writes like this (By the way, Mama Holuder, such a stupid name!)
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Dear Friend
Good Day
how are you today I holp you are fine with you family,
now listing to me now i am let you that after this delivery fees you will not pay eny money agan and please go to the Western Union and tell them to printe out the payment slip for you so that you can send it to me, so just go there and told the Union clerk told like that,and no that no time to west becuse the delivery company agent is so worry for you to recived your check just try your best and make sur as i told you,
thank yours
mr.mama holuder |
with this
Quote: |
Dear Mama,
I did send the payment to you. Now, are you using updated software? It's possible that if you use less than state-of-the-art technology, you cannot open it, although, even if I'm no computering expert, I can be assured that, in principle, all principal companies, do use it, so please, I'd ask you to, in principle, use modern computers, as far as you can find them so that you can complete this deal. Understood?
Regards.
Allen. |
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_________________ x28
Parti Boi. x2 x3 Xmas Parti 2012 Lagos-Natitingou, Lagos-Parakou-Kandi, Benin City- S4fari Hotel Kano A 419 picked me up, took my bag and ran away - have did a lot for Gomer but nothing good come out, every time different trip and they always mess up at last, why? Benin Republic mess up, Kano state in Nigeria mess up, Safari Camp also mess up - am really ashamed of my self in street
My wife divorce our marraige because I failed to provide proper maintenance of the family. |
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Yastreb
Common Street Thawth Vergabon
Joined: 04 Apr 2006
Posts: 17388
Location: Leading my wolf pack
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Posted:
Fri Jan 11, 2013 2:12 pm |
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Try this version for size.
Quote: |
I did indeed send the requested monies to you at the first available opportunity. Now, it is vitally important that you utilise the most advanced, state of the art software, or the attachment will be inaccessible to you. Should you be in possession of antiquated or imperfect technology, you will find that to be the case, although, given my lack of expertise in cybertechnology, I can be assured that, in principle, all principal companies, do utilise said technology, so therefore I request that you in principle, use the most modern computers, insofar as far as you are able to locate them so that you can bring this transaction to a satisfactory resolution. Now have I made myself abundantly clear, or must I resort to a more basic mode of expression? |
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_________________ Son of a bitch!!! Your dead!!! Everything about your stinking poor life is dead!!! Get off my way you son of a bitch mother ....a man without father bastard....your dead Ok
May you never se the end of the year, May you sick and die in JESUS NAME AMEN.
MARK MY WORD, YOU SHALL FALL SICK, IF YOU DONT PLEASE WITH ME, YOU SHALL DIE OF THE SICKNESS, THIS IS MY FINAL WORD TO YOU
I HAVE PLACED YOU UNDER MY ORACLE GODS,
YOU SHALL CRY AND BEG FOR FORGIVENESS OR YOU DIE
x5 x2 x 246
x 5 - Oyenka Chidinma Lagos-Cotonou; Dickyboi Lagos-Accra; Femmy Lagos-Porto Novo; "Woody" Accra-Singapore; Henry Philip Abuja-Natitingou w/MG & DSW
x 7 |
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Big X
Baiting Guru
Joined: 14 Nov 2012
Posts: 23946
Location: Stalag Luft III
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Posted:
Sat Jan 12, 2013 12:25 am |
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I think, after some consideration, that I shall indeed be obliged to begin, (after making the proper arrangements, of course), baiting lads, (that is to say, 419 or "advanced fee fraud" scammers), with a new character, (who may not necessarily be new to fans of a TV programme called Yes Minister, but may indeed be new to non-Anglophiles), called Sir Humphrey Appleby, named of course, after the famous fictional character of that name from the aforementioned programme. I anticipate that the lads will have no idea what to make of Sir Humphrey's circumlocutions, paraphrases, and brazen lies.
Translation for everyone else: I might start a new baiting character named after a character from 1980s British TV. |
_________________ x237 x44 x2 x4
x15,508
Rev Ozzy: Warri-Lome-Cotonou
Woody: Accra-Singapore
Archie x2: Lagos-Natitingou, Abuja-Niamey
John W, Rev Ozzy, Lil Richard, Zenith, Ever Bank, Robert M, Archie x2 |
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next victim
Baiting Guru
Joined: 27 Mar 2011
Posts: 21158
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Posted:
Sat Jan 12, 2013 1:18 am |
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oscarpiles
#1 Moderator
Joined: 13 Apr 2012
Posts: 6776
Location: Sec tarnfuseslking with Fae and she co
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Posted:
Sat Jan 12, 2013 1:27 am |
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@NV I was on the same page but I had Hyancinth Bucket in mind.... |
_________________ DON'T BE A SQUARE DONATE
I do not want to be associated with occult and blood sucking organization,i was told that you are not a man of God but an occult leader with 666 sign. - Elvis
Until thy kingdom hell of stupidity thy come!!! - Sarah
I AM GOING CRAZYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! - Bobby/Jenny/Jugs/moneyp**
ufffffffffffffffffffffffff - Outlander
F*ck you ass all – Jerry Asshat
i am a good lad i have told u that many times - Kevin the Idiot
You need home training lol - Brian LaLadyBits
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Big X
Baiting Guru
Joined: 14 Nov 2012
Posts: 23946
Location: Stalag Luft III
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Posted:
Sat Jan 12, 2013 2:37 am |
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Maybe I'll even start an idiot MP character named Jim Hacker. |
_________________ x237 x44 x2 x4
x15,508
Rev Ozzy: Warri-Lome-Cotonou
Woody: Accra-Singapore
Archie x2: Lagos-Natitingou, Abuja-Niamey
John W, Rev Ozzy, Lil Richard, Zenith, Ever Bank, Robert M, Archie x2 |
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Tururut
Elite Baiter
Joined: 13 Jun 2011
Posts: 1597
Location: Lost in translation
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Posted:
Sat Jan 12, 2013 10:36 pm |
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Big X wrote: |
Maybe I'll even start an idiot MP character named Jim Hacker. |
Not a bad idea. Perhaps also an ironic, childish-yet witty one called Bertrand Woolley. |
_________________ x28
Parti Boi. x2 x3 Xmas Parti 2012 Lagos-Natitingou, Lagos-Parakou-Kandi, Benin City- S4fari Hotel Kano A 419 picked me up, took my bag and ran away - have did a lot for Gomer but nothing good come out, every time different trip and they always mess up at last, why? Benin Republic mess up, Kano state in Nigeria mess up, Safari Camp also mess up - am really ashamed of my self in street
My wife divorce our marraige because I failed to provide proper maintenance of the family. |
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Yastreb
Common Street Thawth Vergabon
Joined: 04 Apr 2006
Posts: 17388
Location: Leading my wolf pack
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Posted:
Sat Jan 12, 2013 11:37 pm |
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^Not meaning to be pedantic, but the name was Bernard Woolley. |
_________________ Son of a bitch!!! Your dead!!! Everything about your stinking poor life is dead!!! Get off my way you son of a bitch mother ....a man without father bastard....your dead Ok
May you never se the end of the year, May you sick and die in JESUS NAME AMEN.
MARK MY WORD, YOU SHALL FALL SICK, IF YOU DONT PLEASE WITH ME, YOU SHALL DIE OF THE SICKNESS, THIS IS MY FINAL WORD TO YOU
I HAVE PLACED YOU UNDER MY ORACLE GODS,
YOU SHALL CRY AND BEG FOR FORGIVENESS OR YOU DIE
x5 x2 x 246
x 5 - Oyenka Chidinma Lagos-Cotonou; Dickyboi Lagos-Accra; Femmy Lagos-Porto Novo; "Woody" Accra-Singapore; Henry Philip Abuja-Natitingou w/MG & DSW
x 7 |
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Big X
Baiting Guru
Joined: 14 Nov 2012
Posts: 23946
Location: Stalag Luft III
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Posted:
Sat Jan 12, 2013 11:45 pm |
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^ We're talking about Yes Minister. Being pedantic is practically required. |
_________________ x237 x44 x2 x4
x15,508
Rev Ozzy: Warri-Lome-Cotonou
Woody: Accra-Singapore
Archie x2: Lagos-Natitingou, Abuja-Niamey
John W, Rev Ozzy, Lil Richard, Zenith, Ever Bank, Robert M, Archie x2 |
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Yastreb
Common Street Thawth Vergabon
Joined: 04 Apr 2006
Posts: 17388
Location: Leading my wolf pack
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Posted:
Sun Jan 13, 2013 12:25 am |
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^ I know - "Not meaning to be pedantic, Minister, but..." was Bernard's catchphrase. |
_________________ Son of a bitch!!! Your dead!!! Everything about your stinking poor life is dead!!! Get off my way you son of a bitch mother ....a man without father bastard....your dead Ok
May you never se the end of the year, May you sick and die in JESUS NAME AMEN.
MARK MY WORD, YOU SHALL FALL SICK, IF YOU DONT PLEASE WITH ME, YOU SHALL DIE OF THE SICKNESS, THIS IS MY FINAL WORD TO YOU
I HAVE PLACED YOU UNDER MY ORACLE GODS,
YOU SHALL CRY AND BEG FOR FORGIVENESS OR YOU DIE
x5 x2 x 246
x 5 - Oyenka Chidinma Lagos-Cotonou; Dickyboi Lagos-Accra; Femmy Lagos-Porto Novo; "Woody" Accra-Singapore; Henry Philip Abuja-Natitingou w/MG & DSW
x 7 |
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dbest03
419Eater is my life
Joined: 04 Feb 2004
Posts: 370
Location: Australia
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Posted:
Sun Jan 13, 2013 4:12 am |
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Nothing like good dose of Yes Minister or even Yes Prime Minister. Even after all these years I still keel over laughing at both series. |
_________________ x5
x1
I may be retarded for at the moment, but it won't take long before i bounce back to action - Mado Christopher Jr
MY YOU HAVE TO BE SERIOUSE ON WHAT YOU ARE DOING AND STOP ALL THIS YOUR BLABS OK - CHARLES C. SOLUDO |
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Tururut
Elite Baiter
Joined: 13 Jun 2011
Posts: 1597
Location: Lost in translation
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Posted:
Sun Jan 13, 2013 2:23 pm |
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Yastreb wrote: |
^Not meaning to be pedantic, but the name was Bernard Woolley. |
Whoops, true. |
_________________ x28
Parti Boi. x2 x3 Xmas Parti 2012 Lagos-Natitingou, Lagos-Parakou-Kandi, Benin City- S4fari Hotel Kano A 419 picked me up, took my bag and ran away - have did a lot for Gomer but nothing good come out, every time different trip and they always mess up at last, why? Benin Republic mess up, Kano state in Nigeria mess up, Safari Camp also mess up - am really ashamed of my self in street
My wife divorce our marraige because I failed to provide proper maintenance of the family. |
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mimicat
Baiting Guru
Joined: 21 Nov 2010
Posts: 2200
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Posted:
Sun Jan 13, 2013 7:01 pm |
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Quote: |
I think, after some consideration, that I shall indeed be obliged to begin, (after making the proper arrangements, of course), baiting lads, (that is to say, 419 or "advanced fee fraud" scammers), with a new character, (who may not necessarily be new to fans of a TV programme called Yes Minister, but may indeed be new to non-Anglophiles), called Sir Humphrey Appleby, named of course, after the famous fictional character of that name from the aforementioned programme. I anticipate that the lads will have no idea what to make of Sir Humphrey's circumlocutions, paraphrases, and brazen lies. |
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_________________ X-285
X-154
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WillEater
419Eater is my life
Joined: 05 Apr 2008
Posts: 432
Location: Hollyweird
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Posted:
Sun Jan 13, 2013 8:31 pm |
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next victim wrote: |
^^^Benny Hill? |
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iAiq1xKF38k |
_________________ "One of the main causes of the fall of the Roman Empire was that, lacking zero, they had no way to indicate successful termination of their C programs.”
–Robert Firth |
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