"this is far from ur imagination" - a Cammy chat

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Posted: Fri Nov 23, 2012 11:16 pm

Bernie wants Cammy to help invest his client's money. Cammy is a photomodel and knows her limitations. Things proceed, a lawyer gets involved, and pictures of cash in boxes are sent (not The Classic, but from the same scene). Then chat ensues...

Oh, and since this is a Cammy chat - there will be profanity!

Cammy: So, you'd like to chat? Be my guest.
Lad: yes.
Lad: I wanted to see an avenue where we can talk well
Lad: How are u doing?
Lad: Are U there?
Cammy: Yeah, I'm here.
Lad: ok
Lad: hope u are doing well?
Cammy: Yeah, fine.
Lad: what is the problem with the 1,200GBP that i said you should send down to make up what I need to pay for the charges?
Cammy: Because you are treating me like some fucking floozie who's too stupid to do anything.
Cammy: I am part of this and that means I'm not just some dimwit.
Lad: how am I treating u as such?
Lad: I think I am carrying u along..
Cammy: THAT IS MY POINT!
Lad: Did u not see the pictures of the money I sent to ur email?
Cammy: You are treating me like a piece of fucking furniture!
Lad: Not at all my dear.
Cammy: Oh, yeah, thanx for reminding me.
Cammy: Where was those pictures taken?
Lad: what do u want me to do for u to be sure that I am carrying u along?
Cammy: I don't want you to carry me along. I want you to treat me as a partner.
Lad: The picture was taking before the money was kept at the bank Vault.
Cammy: Not as some hanger-on.
Lad: U are my partner and what do u want me to do?
Cammy: Who's the main man in this deal?
Lad: u and I are the main people. the original owner is in the diasporal.
Cammy: Huh? What the fuck is a diasporal?
Lad: he can not be accessed hence u and I are the most important personel in this business.
Lad: he is not intown.
Lad: he is still in the government in Africa. he can not be involved in this transaction
Cammy: Fuck me! I was right! You want me to move stolen money!
Lad: it is not stolen money stop been a fearful person.
Cammy: Here I was thinking it was some Pommy Lord or something.
Lad: If it was stolen money we will not go to the court to get papers to back it up
Cammy: But no, it's someone in Africa who's stolen from the people and wants to get it away.
Lad: It is an investment funds and not stolen money.
Lad: the money is not in africa. the money is in UK.
Cammy: If it's real and beyond suspicion, why the fuck am I involved?
Lad: It is already in one of the Banks
Cammy: Don't try to fuck with me! So what if the money's in Pommyland? It was taken from Africa and that's my point!
Lad: because we have interest in Australia and we are looking for some one who is already residence in australia to partner with us to receive and partner into the investment.
Lad: If it was taken from Africa the Uk government should have block it from entry. and the courts should not have agreed to do a change own papers for us.
Lad: this is far from ur imagination.
Lad: lets do this my dear
Cammy: If it was legit you wouldn't have brought it to the UK as cash.
Lad: thismoney was not brought to uk yesterday.
Cammy: I never said it was.
Lad: The money is not yeilding any good return as it i that is the reason why we want to introduce it into the buying of properties and other meaning investments.
Lad: ok Hold on.
Lad: What is ur fear?
Cammy: All I know is that if some African politician is dealing in huge amounts of cashy money, and moving it around in secret and hiring patsies, he's a crook.
Lad: know........................
Lad: no.........................
Cammy: O RLY?
Lad: this is far from that.
Cammy: How so?
Lad: I am here handling it. I am a man with high repute and i will not spoil my carier or long build personality with such stains.
Cammy: So you say.
Lad: i tell u that this is a mel do able business.
Cammy: I know fuck all about you really.
Lad: That is it.
Cammy: That's the problem.
Lad: Not to worry over nthing.
Cammy: Nothing? No fucking way it's nothing!
Lad: I am assuring u with all my assurance that this will not bring any troubles to us.
Lad: U are not sending the money to some one else but to me
Lad: i will give the money to the Lawyer in cash so don't be scared any more
Lad: once the papers are ready then the funds will be transfered to u.
Lad: i know that u are scared of doing ilegal things and I tell u that this is far from ur fear
Lad: re u there?
Cammy: I’m setting some rules. If you insist on being sole go-between in this, we're done.
Lad: u are safe and secured
Cammy: If you don't give me reason to fully believe in you, we are done.
Lad: We are in it together. I will not be sole in it.
Lad: Ok what do u want to beleive in me?
Lad: Don't u have my passport already?
Lad: let me know ur conditions?
Cammy: Do I?
Lad: Ok I thought I already did.
Lad: I will send it to u asap.
Cammy: Nope, not a trace of a passport.
Lad: what do u want to feel secured?
Lad: If u get my passport will u feel beter?
Cammy: Not sure... it doesn't prove anything else about you.
Lad: so what re ur condition to get assured?
Lad: so should I not bother to send it?
Lad: re u there?
Cammy: Well, that's the point - the passport won't prove that you are the CEO of a consultancy firm, will it?
Lad: Do u want to come to London and see things yourself
Lad: it will make things lot easier and more convincing in either ways.
Cammy: This time of year? Are you fucked in the head? No way am I going to miss a second of summer here!
Lad: So how do I prove myself?
Cammy: What ya got?
Lad: Do u think i will betray u?
Lad: We are just one step away from success.
Cammy: Well, it did cross my mind. You want a patsy, is my thinking.
Lad: why are u doubting me with 1,200GBP when I am ready do trust u with a huge su?
Lad: What is patsy?
Cammy: Do you? Do you really?
Lad: I do not know what that word means.
Lad: yes I do. I really do.
Cammy: Except that I see how you can lay a trail leading to me, and then vanish with the money.
Lad: how do I vanaish with the money?
Cammy: Either your boss wants to hide the money, or you want to rip him off.
Lad: My Address is there.
Lad: Vanish with 1,200?
Lad: it is impossible
Cammy: And don't ask me, I'm only a dumb blonde! That's what you think!
Cammy: Not the 1200 quid, duh-brain - the millions of bucks!
Lad: I will not vanish with the money.
Cammy: Anyway, that address proves nothing.
Lad: If I am a dul brain i will not be employed to handle such deal.
Cammy: Could be a vacant lot for all I know, or rental offices.
Cammy: Anyway, you're the one who got the wrong end of the pineapple.
Lad: Please lets us not debate over the reality.
Lad: I am ready to trust u and i want to assure u that I will not betray u.
Lad: go and send the money and lets make progress.
Lad: Send it to me and I promise to delivered successfuly at the end.
Lad: Please try and beleive me.
Cammy: I told you how it was going to be done. It's my way or the highway.
Lad: How do u want it done?
Lad: I do not understand tell me
Cammy: Get the lawyer to contact me about the matter.
Lad: ok
Lad: do u want to be dealing with him directly?
Cammy: How else?
Lad: ok
Cammy: No go-betweens, no cut outs, no intermediaries!
Lad: ok
Lad: but do u have the details of what he requires?
Lad: what is ur stress is it that u don't have the 1,200 or what?
Cammy: I told you don't fuck with me!
Lad: wwhy are u carving a long way out of this?
Cammy: If you thought I was that poor, you'd be taillights!
Lad: am not fucking with u.
Cammy: My cute little ass you're not!
Lad: ohhhhhh
Cammy: What?
Lad: u re getting things wrong
Cammy: O RLY?
Lad: u are making long way from a concluded success.
Lad: Ok go and send the money then I will let u start commonucation with the Lawyer once he has received d payment.
Lad: <ding>
Cammy: No fucking way! That is exactly what I ruled out. I send the money to him directly.
Lad: ok
Cammy: Not to you, not to anyone else except him.
Lad: oh u want to send the money to the lawyer?
Cammy: Well, DUH!
Lad: If that be the case am ok with it should I give u his names to send the money to him? What the fuck else could I mean?
Cammy: What the fuck is your problem? THE LAWYER HAS TO ASK ME FOR THE MONEY!!!!!
Lad: i do not have problem but i think we need understanding here
Cammy: HIM! NOT YOU! NOT ANYONE EXCEPT HIM!
Lad: k
Lad: I will ask him to write u before the end od d day
Cammy: About fucking time!
Lad: why are u always fucking in ur language?
Cammy: You have a problem with that?
Lad: he will and I will even seend his email to u so that u can write him urself
Cammy: Well, cry me a fucking river.
Lad: hat is not a decent language
Cammy: Too bad.
Cammy: It's how I am and that's it/
Lad: Ok
Lad: I was feeling that u were upset if ur words
Cammy: I was fucking furious!
Lad: I did not see the need for offence
Cammy: It's like you weren't listening. It's like you were ignoring me.
Lad: no need to be furius when our joy is by the corner
Cammy: Meh.
Cammy: I'm not so sure about that still. The money is in the bank, right?
Lad: yes
Cammy: Kewl.
Lad: but we need authorization papers has to come from the Court for the Bank to honor ur person.
Cammy: I know, you said that.
Lad: it is only the Lawye who will address it with the court hence the curt charges and legal fee...
Lad: That is the truth
Lad: U need to beleive in me for us to reach success.
Cammy: Just tell the lawyer to write to me. Oh, and you have to work on that belief thing, ya know.
Lad: ok
Lad: He will write u.
Cammy: Kewl.
Lad: what is kewl?
Cammy: In the meantime, you could do something positive.
Lad: like what?
Lad: <ding>
Cammy: Don't do that stupid <ding>! It's fucking dumb! Why do you do it?
Lad: buzzing?
Cammy: Buzzing? It's a <ding>.
Lad: do u realize I am lot older than u?
Lad: hahahah
Cammy: I don't give a fuck.
Lad: does it make u mad?
Cammy: It makes you look stupid.
Lad: [snip]
Lad: that is the email of the Lawyer
Cammy: He's writing to me, not the other way round.
Lad: His name is Trevir Willaims
Cammy: And in the meantime, you can write me a formal letter on your company notepaper laying out the terms and conditions of this deal.
Lad: That is a mOU.
Lad: The Lawyer will handle it.
Cammy: No, I want it from you, in your own words. I can get the lawyer to notarise it.
Lad: ok
Lad: But I already told u that the lawyer is drafting an agreemenet between u and I
Cammy: You just sign it and stamp it and it'll be golden.
Lad: all the terms will be there plus your compensation and share of the money
Cammy: I want a letter from you spelling it out. The lawyer can do his copy, but I want one from you first.
Lad: ok
Lad: typed or hand writen?
Cammy: Both would be nice?
Cammy: What's wrong with your connection?
Lad: What do u mean by Both?
Cammy: One typed version, one handwritten.
Lad: so why are u making me pass through all this?
Lad: What will u give to prove that u are qaulify to receive the 39.5 Million?
Cammy: You're not planning to pike out are you? I would be very disappointed.
Cammy: You chose me. What, cold feet now?
Lad: If I have do all this to get your contribution of just 1,200GBP Then what will u send to get qaulified for my whole lots of money?
Lad: I am getting worried that u can not trust me when I am trusting u at no cost
Lad: All u said u needed are psible for me to give u but why are u making me to pass thrugh the long road for just 1.200?
Cammy: It's more than just the money. You're fixating on the 1200 bucks. I'm talking about the whole ball of wax.
Lad: I am trusting u freely but u are trusting me with conditions.
Cammy: Deal with it.
Lad: ok
Cammy: I raised my spirit to Odin Alodofur last night and He gave me wisdom.
Lad: then in that case who should ask for qualified evidences from each other?
Lad: i culd as well say u should give me evidence and all other things why not me?
Cammy: That is why I want proof of your bona fides.
Cammy: Am I asking you to send me money?
Lad: what could be as proven as my passport?
Lad: no But I will surely send u more than you can imagine> I already have offered to sebnd u 39.5 million Us Dollars
Cammy: I do not doubt the wisdom Odin Alodofur gave me. When He speaks to me, I listen.
Cammy: He told me to make myself sure of your trustworthiness.
Cammy: And I am going to be true to His wisdom.
Lad: who is ODIN Alodofur?
Cammy: Passport scans are forbidden worldwide as far as I know. Why are you so ready to break the law?
Cammy: Odin Alodofur is Lord of the Aesir. He is one of the Gods to whom I give worship.
Lad: where is that from and what Language is that?
Cammy: I also give praise to Freyja, Skadhi, and Tyr. They are the Gods of my Aryan ancestors.
Lad: is that a God u serve in australia?
Cammy: There are Asatruar all over the world. Mostly in Europe, some in America and in Australia. There were supposed to be some in Nigeria, but I doubt that!
Lad: we really have so many things to talk about.
Cammy: Eyes on the prize, buddy!
Lad: we will get there.
Lad: I am confidence that we will arrive very soon. the success is smelling all around us
Cammy: That's up to you. You have a way to go yet.
Lad: I know but I am assuring u that we will get there.
Lad: But I have to leave now and i will get back to u when I return back
Lad: have a lovely day
Lad: do u have other thing we must discuss now?
Cammy: Nah, you've got some papers to prepare. Run along now!
Lad: hahahaha
Lad: talk to u later
Lad: bye.

Next episode... Lad talks dirty!

Baiting Guru Joined: 17 Sep 2006 Posts: 5905

Quote:

Lad: If I have do all this to get your contribution of just 1,200GBP Then what will u send to get qaulified for my whole lots of money?

Yeah getting just £1,200 for writing two letters, a meager £600 per letter, who would get out of bed for that??? Throw him a frikin bone here Yastreb Wink

Posted: Sat Nov 24, 2012 9:17 am

Quote:

I am a man with high repute and i will not spoil my carier or long build personality with such stains.

I've been making stains just reading this .. *chortle*

Quote:

I am confidence that we will arrive very soon. the success is smelling all around us

.. somethings smelling *sniffs*, it's more a blend of sweaty armpits from typing nonsense, and a hint of halitosis from eating shit.

Posted: Sat Nov 24, 2012 1:12 pm

If you thought that was bad... here's part 2!

Cammy: Hi there!
Cammy: ##BONG BONG BONG##CRASH TINKLE TINKLE##SPLAT!##
Cammy: Was it something I said?
Lad: hello
Cammy: Where did you go?
Lad: am busy with other things
Lad: My computer hang and I restarted it
Lad: How are u doing today?
Cammy: Everything's kewl!
Lad: Was it something I said? Ur Off line to me what is it about?
Cammy: It's Freyja's-Day and so we are having tantra tonight!
Lad: I don't understand this ur word.
Lad: what is the meaning?
Cammy: Tantra is sacred sex to honour Freyja.
Lad: ha what is that?
Cammy: Just before midnight we'll all be under the oak banging ourselves into sacred bliss in honour to Her.
Cammy: Bet you'd like to do that!
Lad: banging with who?
Lad: how many are u there?
Lad: Do u want to be my sex partner?
Cammy: From here?
Cammy: Aren't you married anyway?
Lad: I lost my wife nine yrs ago
Lad: having sex from where?
Cammy: We happen to be at the opposite sides of the earth, remember? Anyway, I don't know what you look like or what you're like at sex, You could be a total dud for all I know.
Lad: AM STRONG AND GOOD IN BED BUT LETS TALK ABOUT BUSINESS NOW
Lad: U can not stand me when it comes to sex I know that for sure
Cammy: So you say. I want to know.
Cammy: Send me a picture, and I'll return the favour.
Lad: I can turn u arround and make u go crazy
Lad: which favor?
Lad: U like sex do u?
Cammy: You send me a picture, and I'll return the favour.
Lad: which favour?
Cammy: Like sex? I'm hotter than molten gold and I worship the goddess of sex and love!
Cammy: And for fuck's sake, why do you keep asking "which favour"?
Lad: Then u need a real good sex
Lad: But u said u were a model right?
Lad: are u a buitiful girl?
Cammy: I'm hotter than molten gold!
Lad: who is ur kind of man?
Lad: u said so
Cammy: And it should be fucking obvious what I mean. You send me a picture, and then I send you a picture. You got that NOW?
Lad: Can u go marranton for 3 days no stop no outing all sex and all banging?
Cammy: Is that a promise?
Lad: More than that
Cammy: Or just trying to talk dirty just because?
Lad: I am a sex machine.
Lad: I am not mouthy. I mean it
Cammy: Send me a picture of yourself.
Lad: Not just like that.
Lad: U will have it if I feel like u are ready
Lad: Did u hear from the Lawyer?
Cammy: Sorry, but I need to see what you look like. It's important to me and to Freyja too.
Lad: re u there?
Cammy: Yep.
Lad: so talk to me...
Lad: do u have a man already who is very strong in bed?
Cammy: When do I get your picture? And FYI I do, Nicu is a real stud.
Lad: ok
Lad: U will get it. is that ur need?
Cammy: Sure. It's important to me.
Lad: ok
Lad: hold on
Lad: let me get some to u
Cammy: Kewl.
Lad: but send me urs too
Cammy: Then I'll return the favour.
Lad: But u should have told me yesterday u were falling in love with me
Lad: I was asking where u were usng the word fuck fuck all the time
Lad: Check ur mail Am there.
Lad: Am a strong active guy.
Cammy: Hold on there – who mentioned love?
Lad: good for any woman
Lad: Sex
Lad: If no love no feelings
Lad: Sex take u there and am sure u will like it
Lad: who is that woman that does not like it good on her in Bed 4 that matter. That is why I am a special one
Lad: Have u seen my pics
Cammy: You're not making me hot right now. Work on it!
Lad: U want us to start talking sex from here?
Lad: what re u wearing?
Cammy: Hang on.
Lad: re u already sexy?
Lad: re u there?
Cammy: Fuck -sorry I asked now.
Lad: whatz that?
Cammy: You're bald, and ugly. Forget about the sex talk.
Lad: Thanks
Cammy: Freyja would not be pleased.
Lad: But good in bed
Cammy: I believe in total honesty.
Lad: let me see u
Cammy: Just promise me that you won't let it out. Nicu would go spare.
Lad: No one else ecept me
Cammy: I like to go on top, and if I saw that face while making love, I'd toss my cookies.
Lad: u will like it when u are in d mood
Cammy: No way Jose.
Lad: when it real good on u then the feelings will drive u on
Lad: I mean it I am capable
Lad: let me see u and I will deliver I promise
Cammy: But you're ugly.
Lad: am good stop
Lad: let me see u first
Cammy: Knock yourself out, dude.
Lad: Hahahah. U re funny
Lad: My dick is good my look is good
Lad: who is ur kind of man?
Lad: I good dick good sex
Cammy: But ugly face - I don't give a shit about the size of your cock if your face is a turn-off.
Lad: May be the product of the picture is not good.
Lad: U will like me.
Lad: Am sure
Cammy: You chose the pictures - you must have thought they're the best ones!
Lad: I don't take pictures always.
Lad: well if u are not good from the picture then lets leave it.
Lad: I am a very good man for any woman I know how much I am demanded
Cammy: No, YOU are the one with the ugly face. I am hot! Admit it!
Cammy: Are you saying you're some kind of gigolo?
Lad: who is ur man?
Lad: do u already any one driving u crazy?
Lad: I got urs but u sent just one a portraite for that matter
Lad: But this u that I am looking will not be able to stand what u will find in me
Lad: Am good
Cammy: Anyhoo... gotta go... warming up to do tantra. CYA later!
Lad: that is not my Job I am a very good business consultant but in Bed I am good
Lad: send more piture and let me know what is going on with the Lawyer
Lad: send ur phone number now and let me call u a few muinte
Lad: re u there?

Posted: Sun Nov 25, 2012 5:18 pm

Dirty old fucker *chortle*, he was probably having a pull during that chat *yeughh*

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