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 Let's Try Regional Colloquialisms for $500

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Morgain Le Fay
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PostPosted: Thu Oct 18, 2012 12:22 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Every country and region has 'em so let's hear 'em.


However, sometimes southern colloquialisms just say it like it is:

** y'all
** y'all come back ya har!
** Bless your heart
** Ain't that precious?
** Pea pickin'
** Cute as a Betsy bug.

He wouldn't pay a dime to see a piss ant pull a freight train.

She'd complain if Jesus Christ came down and handed her a $5 bill.

I'll knock you in the head and tell God you died.

She was so tall she could hunt geese with a rake.

'If promises were persimmons, possums could eat good at her place.'

Keep it up and I'll cancel your birth certificate

He's as happy as if he had good sense

I wouldn't take 'er to a dogfight - even if I thought she had a chance of winnin!"

His cornbread ain't good and done.

If brains were dynamite, he couldn't blow his nose.

He's so skinny he has to run around in the shower to get wet

It is so dry that the cows are giving powdered milk

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Yastreb
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PostPosted: Thu Oct 18, 2012 1:25 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

If it was raining beer, he'd be the one with a tea-strainer.

They're racing at Manangatang!

I'm flat out like a lizard drinking.

What do you think this is - bush week?

He couldn't organise a pissup in a brewery.

Don't come the raw prawn with me.

I didn't come down in the last shower.

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Badgerbait
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PostPosted: Thu Oct 18, 2012 1:36 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

I drink from a bubbler and look at water fountains.

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IM_Dumm
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Joined: 06 Dec 2004
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PostPosted: Thu Oct 18, 2012 2:13 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

He's lower than a snake's belly in a wagon rut.

Dumb as a box of rocks.

Happier than a pig in slop.

Like having a battle of wits with an unarmed man.

Sweating like Mike Tyson at a spelling bee.

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Pastor Frank
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PostPosted: Thu Oct 18, 2012 2:17 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

My mothers favorite, "Jesus H Christ in a raft!". I never knew what the H stood for and why he was in a raft.

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lord goldblade
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Joined: 13 Jan 2011
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PostPosted: Thu Oct 18, 2012 5:14 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Some of my faves

"They had a face on em like a smacked arse"

"They pulled a face like a bulldog licking piss off a nettle"

"get up the wooden hill"

"that's right big that is"

"stop bein so nesh"

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Pastor Frank
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PostPosted: Thu Oct 18, 2012 5:49 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

"Colder than a well diggers ass" I never understood the origins of that one either.

We also have many ways to describe snow.

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Last edited by Pastor Frank on Thu Oct 18, 2012 5:51 pm; edited 1 time in total
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lord goldblade
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PostPosted: Thu Oct 18, 2012 5:51 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

^^^ Going from that, i was reminded of another great yorkshire saying of

"Its so cold it would freeze the balls off a brass monkey"

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TheDane
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PostPosted: Thu Oct 18, 2012 6:29 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

"He plays like the blind fights."

"He's so stupid, he whistles in the bathroom so he knows which end to wipe."

"She's so easy, she has a mattress stapled to her back."

"He's so drunk, if he was standing in the middle of the week, he could see both Sundays."


Pastor Frank wrote:
We also have many ways to describe snow.


Where, in Canada?

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IM_Dumm
Master of Master Baiters


Joined: 06 Dec 2004
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PostPosted: Thu Oct 18, 2012 6:37 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Two of my Dad's favorties:

Slicker than snot on a doorknob.

Eat every potato and pea on your plate.

Some others:

Cold as a witch's tit.

He (she) fell out of the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down.

I couldn't get laid in Sing-Sing with a sea bag full of pardons.

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Tsnerd
Not quite a Newb


Joined: 14 Jul 2005
Posts: 41


PostPosted: Thu Oct 18, 2012 7:25 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

One of my Grandpa's, used whenever he was surprised, disappointed or just amused:

"Well, damn, Sam!"

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lord goldblade
Elite Baiter


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PostPosted: Thu Oct 18, 2012 7:27 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

"Tighter than a gnats chuff"

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"You are not only poor but poor bush man who have no ambition to be rich"

"GO DRINK POISEN AND SLEEP THEN DIE FUCK WITH YOUR MONEY"

"i should have known that you are full of lies ,at first you told me you have a flying jet but i never knew that you were nothing but building upstairs on the sky"

"I like to sincerely thank you for all your disappointment,stress ,lies and frustrations,now I should have not gotten myself involved in the first place thanks to you all"

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Justcold
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PostPosted: Thu Oct 18, 2012 7:56 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

"She's so ugly that she'd scare buzzards off a gut wagon."

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iMike
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PostPosted: Thu Oct 18, 2012 8:07 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

"Couldn't stop a pig in a ginnell"

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Pastor Frank
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PostPosted: Thu Oct 18, 2012 8:43 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

"It's raining like a cow pissing on a flat rock"

"Colder than a witches tit" Edit: Sorry IM_Dumm, you already got this one.

TheDane wrote:
Pastor Frank wrote:
We also have many ways to describe snow.


Where, in Canada?
Evil or Very Mad

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Last edited by Pastor Frank on Fri Oct 19, 2012 5:30 am; edited 2 times in total
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agnomen
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PostPosted: Thu Oct 18, 2012 9:00 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

He’s so dumb he could fall in a barrel of tits and come out sucking his thumb.

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Esox lucius
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PostPosted: Thu Oct 18, 2012 11:24 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

'Couldn't hit a cow's arse with a banjo'

'Dim as a TocH lantern'

'The wheel is still spinning but the hamster has died'

'The sort of bloke who has to bend over and look up his arse just to see if he is wearing a hat'

'Couldn't drive a cow with a stick'

'So ugly as a baby his Mum used to feed him by catapult'

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oscarpiles
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PostPosted: Thu Oct 18, 2012 11:48 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

So many to choose from but I'll give it a go:

**Couldn't hit a Bee in the Ass with a Banjo (unsuccessful Deer/Moose Hunter)
**Like a Saskatoon June (Very cold)
**Colder than a Bastard (See above)
**Gimme a Double Double (Standard Timmy's Order)
**We're getting' a 24 (A civilized way to buy Beer)
**Molson Muscle ( Beer Gut)
**Keep your Stick on the Ice! (Self explanatory I trust)
**Hand me the Robertson (Should be self explanatory but think really really good screwdriver)
**Make like a tree and F Off (Couldn't resist a Rickyism)

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bravo95
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PostPosted: Fri Oct 19, 2012 12:26 am Reply with quoteBack to top

"She's like a door knob everyone gets a turn"
"He's an enchilada short of a combo plater"
"Busier than a one legged man in a an ass kicking contest"

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Pastor Frank
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PostPosted: Fri Oct 19, 2012 5:27 am Reply with quoteBack to top

oscarpiles wrote:
Keep your Stick on the Ice!


That one has leaked down from the Can and I've always enjoyed it. The phrase, not the country.

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Roycropper
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PostPosted: Fri Oct 19, 2012 9:37 am Reply with quoteBack to top

lord goldblade wrote:
"Its so cold it would freeze the balls off a brass monkey"

It's so cold there's a brass monkey outside looking for a welder.

Also

One sandwich short of a picnic

Not the sharpest knife in the drawer

Like throwing a banana up a blind alley

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Big Al
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PostPosted: Fri Oct 19, 2012 11:20 am Reply with quoteBack to top

Couldn't find his ass with both hands and a road-map.

You would complain if they hung you with a golden rope.

The boy's about as sharp as a Bowling Ball.

A few cards shy of a full deck.


Last edited by Big Al on Fri Oct 19, 2012 1:55 pm; edited 1 time in total
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IM_Dumm
Master of Master Baiters


Joined: 06 Dec 2004
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PostPosted: Fri Oct 19, 2012 12:30 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Quote:
He’s so dumb he could fall in a barrel of tits and come out sucking his thumb.


I like that one... Laughing

The problem is finding a way to work it into a conversation.

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"THEY STILL FEED YOU WITH PLASTIC SPOONS THAT IS WHY YOU SOMETIMES TALK LIKE A BABY." Mr. Yuguda Yuguda
"u are noting but a hee goat fuck dick" Denis Morgan
"...I am still angry tyoing this to you..if you can se my face right now..its contorted because of you.." Bernard Fenendez
"you can as well fuck the hell out" Barr. Peter Ojiko
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windypops
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PostPosted: Fri Oct 19, 2012 12:47 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

It's bleedin' taters!

Are you avin' a giraffe?

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Morgain Le Fay
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PostPosted: Fri Oct 19, 2012 12:49 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

He would complain if he were hung with a new rope.

She doesn't have both beaters in the batter.

He doesn't have both oars in the water.

***


Now, take these colloquialisms and put them in letters to lads. Take out the "she" and "he" and insert "you", i.e. You don't seem to have both beaters in the batter, are you sure you have both oars in the water, well, ain't that precious (if they complain they cannot open an attachment you have sent.

Be fun to see how the lads respond.

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