Lad English gets worse

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Posted: Wed Sep 26, 2012 10:04 am

A nice lady wishing to leave me $10m died very suddenly and this is what her doctor wrote

Quote:

Dear XXXX,

It is my great pleasure to write you again this moment regarding the issue we have at hand, i hope you will comply together if your times and activities permits you, well I'm using this medium to let you know that after our church today we had a discussion about the burial arrangement of late Mrs W R which will be by Saturday 29:09:2012 and she will be buried in one of the cemetery ground in our town Abidjan,

I hope you are not wonder why every thing is so soon that is because nobody is ready to pay for her mortuary bill if she is still under cremated, we are trying our best to make sure that we completed everything so your cooperation is needed in any way of willful support to her burial and the programmed as her next of Kin according to her in time of her existence, we hope mostly your supporting prayers.

Please remember not to forget your promises to her because it has been her theme of talk in her dying point, after the burial program on Saturday I will send to you her death certificate and some covered photos.

Again many thanks for your kind regard and continue conversation,

Faithfully Yours,
Dr. Noel Kabore.

Under cremation sounds nasty. In the African heat she will be stinking, so no doubt that is why they are burying her as well!!

Honestly, I have no idea what the good doctor is talking about and I spent 10 years in Nigeria!!

Master Baiter Joined: 14 Jul 2012 Posts: 168

Ah, see it's easy to under-do a cremation, you need to get the temperature juuust right.

Posted: Wed Sep 26, 2012 10:36 am

The reason why your lad write so bad English is because he doesn't speak it at all. Ivory Coast is a French speaking country and i would guess that your lad have used either Bablefish or Google translate.

Posted: Wed Sep 26, 2012 12:50 pm

^^ You're probably right 'cause the lad mentions "Abidjan" which is the former capital city of Ivory Coast.

Posted: Wed Sep 26, 2012 1:28 pm

The part "because it has been her theme of talk in her dying point" is what made me think. Talking about a "theme" in this context is rather odd, while it is understandable it is also somewhat of mark and not the word you would use. It does however, in my experience look like a mistake a online translator would make.

Posted: Wed Sep 26, 2012 2:34 pm

Captain Jack Sparrow wrote:

Ah, see it's easy to under-do a cremation, you need to get the temperature juuust right.

I guess cooking time is the same as Pork Smile

Roast for 30 minutes at 220°C (Gas Mark 7).
Reduce oven temperature to 160 °C (Gas Mark 3) and continue to roast for 50 minutes per Kg (23 minutes per pound)

Remove the body from the oven and check that juices run clear.
Rest for 20-30 minutes before carving.

..

Not Totally Ignorant Joined: 27 Mar 2011 Posts: 10460

Quote:

we hope mostly your supporting prayers.

I thought he was going to ask for money. Shows how much I know!

Hello I'm New here! Joined: 05 Sep 2012 Posts: 14

I've actually started matching their broken English for some reason. None of them ever seem to take the bait though.

Posted: Mon Oct 01, 2012 8:36 am

My wife specialises in under-cremated cuisine.

Posted: Mon Oct 01, 2012 9:31 am

If he wants her cooked to perfection she needs to be soft on the inside, but crispy on top. A sort of Lád brûlée if you will.

He'll need a blowtorch.

Posted: Tue Oct 02, 2012 7:02 pm

Screw_Scamming_Spammers wrote:

I've actually started matching their broken English for some reason. None of them ever seem to take the bait though.

Oh, they will. It's just a matter of sorting out the 'wheat from the chaff' so to speak. Wink

One of my characters is Latvian and he, of being retired tea farmer, and of now live UK, where he, of try to build Triffid farm.

He, of speakya poorly englishjes pleases!
kontact, of to the lad of, take form of emailings, of terible speling and, of lots of commas, of placed anywhere in emailing.

Quote:

Slivovitz !
I, of getting your email
Living, of now in UK and lonely, Yes.
Perhaps, of we write each otheer?

and

Quote:

I, , of receiving your email
Pleaseings, I offer to you my helpe to you pretty lady.
To, tell me know of how I may, of helpings to you.

I find that a poor English speaking foreigner gives a good reason not to use the phone.
With his ID being checked by 'UK Office of Home', he hasn't got a passport to send either. Wink

-------------------------------------------------------

One other point to consider re: slow responses.
Very often a lad will only give the same 'reply to' address that he used to send his catcher. As lads send send many 100's of such emails at a time, there will be a lot of returning chatter to sort through - bounces, polite (and not-so-polite!) emails telling him to stop and so on.
While he'll ignore the bounces, he'll be busy skimming off the addresses of those who do reply to try again with another scam.
It may take him a while to get to your reply. It might be worth giving a lad a 'nudge' after a few days as a chase up - that should put your email at the top of his inbox ....

Quote:

My wife specialises in under-cremated cuisine.

That was my mam's trick - a Sunday roast chicken still red at the bone.... Shocked

Posted: Thu Oct 11, 2012 3:56 pm

They do write some utter dog dirt don't they? Here is one I got today - never mind a mark message as unread button, what about a mark message as unreadable button? Laughing

Thanks very much for your virtually understanding regarding of this very important issued, concerning your payment notice fund issurance Order. Well i have acknowledged the reciecpt of your message and has given us rest assurance that you are not instructed anybody so ever to lay claimed on your payment fund inheritance order.

Now as stand we will begin the contract file papers documents of your payment fund to our correspondent offshore office to enable them to reach you and liase how your payment fund issurance shall be transfer to your desinated bank you will provide and ebanle you confirmed your payment settlement order.

For own information we have mandated to ensure that your payment fund should be get to you without know further delay, but only thing we will advice you is to be sure that you follow oue due process and also strictly abide our instruction and advice so that everything goes accordinly into plan by seen that finally you recieve your fund.

Finally do not delay to furnish me your photos passport so that it will help us file it for your payment fund proceedings through our offshore correspondent in Italy.

I wait to hear from you as soon asap.

Regards,
Dr John Yuris.
Executive Chairman,
Investigation and Debt Settlement Committee.

eh?