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 Chatting with a sometimes just plain funny.

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Elite Baiter

Joined: 23 Mar 2012
Posts: 1985
Location: A little rock in a big ocean

PostPosted: Fri Mar 23, 2012 7:15 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

I thought you'd get all a kick out of this.

I received the typical email from a lad several months ago:

From: "Mr. Kamoru Mustapha." <[email protected]>
Date: Tue, 10 Jan 2012 14:38:40 -0600
Subject: Read And Reply Back To Your Agent Mr. Kamoru Mustapha.

Attention! Attention!! Attention!!!


On behalf of the Minister of Finance and other private sectors here in
Nigeria brings about this, Regular Mail Service to deliver the
Unfinished Transfer of Funds and Gratuity that is in the custody of
different firms and companies to the rightful owner in any countries.
I am Mr. Kamoru Mustapha. representing the agent of the federal
government officials along the {GPS} (Global Postal Service).

The Minister of Finance has ordered the FedEx, DHL, UPS, First Bank,
Zenith Bank and other firms to release the bank draft and ATM cards to
the GPS (Regular Mail Service), So that they can be mailed out to the
rightful owners, because there are too many complains coming to our
desk from different customers.

The {FGN} Federal Government of Nigeria that people are not getting
their Instrument to cash their funds and gratuity, e.g. people are not
getting their Bank Draft and ATM Cards due to the fact that people are
not meeting up with the required demands and amount imposed by some of
this delivery companies, firms and other sectors and constant require
of fees that are too much for people to handle.

We have series of Bank Drafts and ATM Cards here in our custody and
they are sealed and we don't know who and where they belong to we are
getting in touch with you to know if you have ever received an email
regarding any Bank Draft and ATM Cards please contact us back as we
are ready to Mail them to you this was the order given to me and the
company by the Minister of Finance here in Nigeria.

Here is my contact email address
Full Names: - Mr. Kamoru Mustapha.
Valid Contact: - [email protected]

Our terms and condition for this service is for us to get the bank
draft and ATM cards to the rightful owner as we are not allowed to
open them as they are sealed and we need honest people that knows they
have not yet received their funds either in Bank Draft or ATM Cards,
So we are expecting to hear from you, As we know need Information
about you.

Best Regards.
God bless you and your family.
Mr. Kamoru Mustapha.


I'm not exactly sure what this is about or why you contacted me. An ATM

On Fri, Jan 13, 2012 at 3:48 AM, Mr. Kamoru Mustapha. <
[email protected]> wrote:

Lou Our Service will get your parcel to you via regular mail before
the next 12 Hours time after you meet up with the postal service fee
which is of a very low tariff to suit you and to make sure you receive
your parcel via our company, as for our postage service we will want
you to know that GPS (Global Postal Service) will need you to pay for
the postage service which is $95.00 which will be for the service
rendered to you Find below the outline charges on your parcel.

Global Postal Service Fee: - $50
Clearance: - $45

Total Amount:- $95.00.
Your full information is needed again for confirmation:-
Name :
Address :
Age :
Sex :
Occupation :
Country :
State :
Zip code :
Phone #
Fax #

Here Is My Phone Number +234-803-894-3070.

Once you have make up the payment of the $95.00 i will send you this
two document name:-


I await to hear from you back so that i can email you the payment
information on where you can get the $95.00 send.

Mr. Kamoru Mustapha.
On 1/13/12, Lou Sindor <[email protected]> wrote:
What parcel? I thought you were talking about a card.

This doesn't make a lot of sense...


Mr. Kamoru Mustapha. [email protected]

Jan 13

to me
Good Afternoon Lou.

Yes your Card is in a percel okay.

I hope you get me right now.

Reply back with your full information okay.

Mr. Kamoru Mustapha.
Lou Sindor

Jan 13

to Kamoru

What parcel is this? I'm not aware of it.

Where are you located?


That's a little odd.


And there it ended...until today when a chat window popped up in Gmail. Weirdness additional notes are in italics:

Kamoru: Hello
Sent at 8:54 AM on Thursday

me: Hello

Kamoru: I'm your agent
Concerning your ATM Card
You have not contact me since last year

me: Yes, that's true...I wasn't sure that this was all for real

Kamoru: Before God & man it is real
I just want you to keep your mind @ rest & believe it & also keep your head up

me: What do you mean by that, exactly?

Kamoru: What I mean is that God knows am telling the truth
That this is real

me: I think we should talk directly...can you call me?

Kamoru: Give me your phone number

me: (314) 589-2500
This is actually the main number of the FBI office in St. Louis. I've gotten many a lad to hear the words, "FBI, may I help you?" with some hilarious results.

Kamoru: All what we need first is your full name

me: I'm awaiting your call to discuss this

Kamoru: Occupation
I know
Sent at 9:01 AM on Thursday

me: My phone does not seem to be ringing, my friend...

Kamoru: Am calling you now
Sent at 9:04 AM on Thursday

Kamoru: Are you there
I just called

me: My phone didn't ring...did someone answer?

Kamoru: Yes
A lady

me: Interesting...who was it?
Kamoru: She did not tell me her name.

me: Congratulations...your number is now in the caller ID database of the FBI. Time to get a new phone...
Sent at 9:07 AM on Thursday

Kamoru: Never never & never
I fools u
I did not called

me: So you're not just a criminal, but a liar as well? No surprise there.
Does anybody ever actually fall for this stupid scam?

Kamoru: U are d fools that just lie to me

me: Why not? I know there's no parcel and no money.

Kamoru: Right fbi is nothing to me okay

me: Nothing to you? How is that?

Kamoru: There is a parcel for u & money

me: Of course there is...just like the ATM card and the inheritance and the money from someone dying of cancer.

Kamoru: If you care not about to claim your money you let me know ok.
Noo not cance
But from the bank in nigeria
Zenith Bank.

me: You don't seem to get it...I already know you're just another scammer in Lagos (or someplace similar). Probably sitting in a cafe somewhere, surrounded by other criminals doing the same thing. Does it ever actually work?

Kamoru: Hmm Smile
I laugh u

me: you really make a living at this?

Kamoru: I'm not in any fucking cafe ok

me: where are you then?

Kamoru: I'm with my laptop

me: Ah, high tech scammer. Very nice.

Kamoru: At my office right the air port

me: How much have you made this month?

Kamoru: $1

me: Too might want to get a real job before you starve to death, mugu. The 419 work is not for you. Maybe you're not smart enough?

Kamoru: Waiting for my salary
End of this month

me: They pay you a salary even when you don't scam any money from anybody? That's fortunate for you.
Kamoru: You are a fools

me: How is that?

Kamoru: Don't force what I'n not doing on me for God sake
Fuck u

me: God will get you for that one...!

Kamoru: What is the meaning of that

me: Bet your boss is pissed you wasted all this time...
"mugu" = "Big Fool" = advance fee fraud scammer, like you

Kamoru: NG

Kamoru: Get out
Sent at 9:20 AM on Thursday

Kamoru is offline. Messages you send will be delivered when Kamoru comes online.
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