The Ditz's 1st Farcebook scammer (NSFW)

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Posted: Thu Mar 01, 2012 9:57 am

It's a small world Chrys! Looked up your synth and the first site I went to - you were there!! Wink

I have to say after reading this:

Quote:

continuous panning...pulse width modulation...hard sync oscillators...flange

I didn't know whether to have a cold shower or a quick lie-down. Embarassed

Posted: Sat Mar 03, 2012 2:51 am

Phil Yerboots wrote:

I have to say after reading this:

continuous panning...pulse width modulation...hard sync oscillators...flange

I felt a little dirty after reading that! Wink

Meantime, lad gets back to me. Seems he got mugged and lost his visa... Pity really, I have plans for him to travel!:

Quote:

Hi my Wife,
i am very happy to see your pictures which i know that God has joined us together like husband and wife,i real love you,please honey this what i want to you to do now,please my love i want you to meet me here in Ghana were i am in Africa ok my love and my wife i want to let you know that Criminal Attack me and take my bag which i have lost my all my things boot my passport and my visa ,

and now i don't have any thing lift in me honey so please i will like you to meet me here so that we can go back together and please remember what i told concern the car i told you now please we need to have a car so that if you come i will use it and pick you in airport honey and we will use it and go out do you understand me honey and once again don't forget the laptop honey you know you are my wife,

and were can we have our weeding honey don't forget you are my ever and ever in my life honey i real love you my wife and i cant wait to be with you my love,
kisssssssss you and hug you,

YOURS LOVELY ONE ,
PRINCE.LAD

Then I get this piece of crap he stole off the net somewhere:

Quote:

My Sweet Heart,

I want you to know that since the day we met I've fallen deeply in love with you. There are no words to express the gratitude I feel in my heart that you came into my life, and how you make every day so special. You are my life, my heart, my soul. You are my wife, my one true love, my one and only. I love you more today than I did yesterday, and I'll love you for ever,

Loving you is the only thing that makes life worth living. Day by day, my love for you becomes overwhelming, and I can't handle it when I don't see or even talk to you every day. A day without you in my life is like a day without sunshine, a day without food, or a day without air. I need you when I’m cold to keep me warm; I need you in the rain to keep me dry; I need you in my life to keep me happy. You make me feel wonderful. You give me strength when I just can't carry on and I truly treasure that. Every moment spent together is another one of my dreams coming true.

My Sweet Heart You are the most wonderful thing that has ever happened to me. Each moment that you and I spend together is so magical that I catch myself smiling for no reason at all. I thought that I would never find a love that is as strong as ours, but now that we've found each other,My Love you are the person I want to spend the rest of my life with, you are the person I want to marry, the person I want to have babies with, and the person I want to grow old with.

Baby, you complete me. You make my life so amazing and I don't know how else to repay you but to love you just as much as you love me. The world is a better place to be because of you. You make me feel beautiful. Thank you for giving me so much more than I ever could have wanted. I am so thankful for what we have, and for everything we will have. You are the only woman I ever want to share my life with. I could never imagine what it would be like if we were to lose each other. I don't even want to think about it. All I want to think of is you only.

You are the love of my life. I love you, and I always will until the day I die. Hopefully, when that day comes, I will still have you by my side and yours will be the last face that I see. When we’re older with a family and home of our own, we’ll look back at the ways we argued about things that were so insignificant and we’ll laugh and know that our love was strong enough to overcome every argument. I just want you to know that I'm thankful that you came into my life and I will love you till the end of my days. My love for you will never fade, I’m still crazy about you, baby.also please my love pray for me,I i know that god has made us will stay together and build our future and open the investment on your name and my Name,but before that we will do our traditional marriage weeding,

So my sweet heart as soon as i see you your pretty face here i promise to give you the ever lasting love and sex i real miss you my love, i am letting you know that you are only one in my life and in my soul,

Yours Forever husband,
PRINCE LAD

And finally I get this early this morning:

Quote:

HONEY HOW ARE OU DOING MY WIFE,
I AM STILL WORRIED CONCERNING YOU PLEASE MY WIFE WE NEED TO BE TOGETHER OK PLEASE GET BACK TO MW SO THAT I WILL KNOW YOUR WAYT ABOUT OK MY LOVE I MISS YOU MY LOVE,PLEASE CALL ME OK,
I LOVE YOU AND LET MT SPIRIT GUILD YOU MY LOVE
YOURS LOVELY ONE,
PRINCE.LAD

Under the heading of "yes I will marry you", I write back talking about all the money I'm spending:

Quote:

Oh Schatzi,

Of course I will marry you, I am so happy you have finally popped the question!

I must confess, Schatzi that Sabrina and I had an big night last night. We decided to go out, but I wanted it to be truly special! So I hired a Limousine for the evening (I have attached a picture of it, I love this car so much. I would kill to own one). We drank bubbly as the limo drove us to the Star City Casino, where we gambled away a lot of money. We didn't lose too much money, just $120 and it was certainly fun to play all those games. Then we got back to the limo and drank bubbly as we rode the limo through Sydney. It was truly sensational, and we felt so special as we rode in that car, with people staring at us as we passed them. It was totally worth the $800 we spent on it! Next time you will have to join us!

I am so sorry you were attacked Schatzi, I assume you went to the police to report the crime! Some people can be such assholes Schatzi, I am glad you are not like that! I could never go out with a criminal or those nasty people you read about on the internet. I just wish I could remember what they called them...

Wolfgang is working around the clock for me. He's looking into a resort he went to a few years ago in Africa, and says he had a wonderful time there. If I go there, you will join me! Maybe we can get married there, I will have to look into that.

Ditz

I also send him this pic:

Posted: Sun Mar 04, 2012 2:41 am

Lad is NOT happy that I'm spending his payday:

Quote:

DEAREST ONE
How are you today,
firstly I thank you for your reaction to my email; en line with the message, a which I have sent to you.How is every thing over there in your country,i believe that you are in good health, and that the atmosphere over there in your country is very nice today? Mine is a little bit warm over here I am honey,

i am very happy that our Almighty God who created us has joined us together honey i have to confess too that is you that i will spend the rest of my life on and promise to give you all the love and happiness that is in this world means that you are my ver and ever i really love you my wife yes ,honey i have to tell you that i am not happy that you are drinking lik e this which you know that your husband is not there honey please i dont want you to useless the money that we will use and do some thing in future which you know that,

1 ) we have to have our own kids,
2 ) have our own business,
3) build our own house,
honey remember that you will come and meet me in Africa,and i told you that i dont use car here which we have to get one and in case you come i will use it and pick you in airport honey,

all dose thing that require money honey so please came down ok you know am your husband and i will not give you wrong advice ok,i love you so much my love,my wife do you think some thing will stop us to marry nothing so far God is with us we love together honey,

you are the only one in my heart which i am always dreaming about ,and i am asking God when i will meet my wife which i have to give you my heart and my joy,honey please give me phone number that i will us
e and call you or send me Sabrina phone number ok my love,

honey waiting to hear from you soon,
and try so that i can buy the car here ok my wife,and i have to get another passport and visa my love so that when you come here we will go together ok my love ,i love you my wife Kathrin,
yours lovely one,
PRINCE LAD,

ETA... I write back and of course I'm travelling to SSC, and expect lad to join me Wink

Quote:

Schatzi,

Do not worry about our partying, you're only young once and I do not intend to make a habit out of it. When I was in Yalbraith, there was NOTHING to do and it was so lonely to live there. Now that I am a free woman, I want to kick up my heels a bit. As tempting as it sounds I do not intend to blow $600,000 dollars on bubbly...

I have been shopping for phones but I must admit they confuse me. Sabrina is adamant I should buy something called an iPhone like hers, but I can barely get it to make calls.

I am sorry Schatzi, but I do not feel comfortable giving out Sabrina's phone number without her permission. If she tells me you spoke to her and she okays it then I will give you the number. Otherwise you will have to wait until I finally buy myself a phone. I have already given you Sabrina's email. Write to her and see what she says.

Schatzi, I have wonderful news! Wolfie has gotten back to me and has found the address of the resort he went to a few years ago. It's called the and it is still in Business! I have seen their website and the place looks gorgeous, and the bed looks big enough for us to make sweet passionate love on. Have a look at the site for yourself.

<snipped, but the link to SSC Benin>

I will travel to the Branch in Benin and you will join me! I will make love to you in ways you didn't think possible! I might be older schatzi, but I am also very experienced in the ways of love and I look forward to showing you exactly how experienced I am!

It'll be a few weeks yet before I travel as I need to have fully settled down here in Redfern (and I haven't decided if I am taking Sabrina with me to Benin yet, though I suspect I will). I'm so glad you will meet me in Benin, we'll rent a car once I get there and you can show me the sights. And I will f*ck you like you have never been f*cked before.

Ditz

"And I will f*ck you like you have never been f*cked before"... By stranding you in another country! Twisted Evil

Posted: Mon Mar 05, 2012 12:04 am

The shopping list is IN! Lad wants a laptop, $4500 for a passport (and still probably wants a car):

Quote:

HI MY WIFE HOW ARE YOU DOING HOPE YOU ARE FINE,
HONEY I CAN SEE THE YOU HAVE PREPARE TO COME AFRICA BUT I WANT TO LET YOU KNOW THAT YOU HAVE TO BE CAREFUL OK AND ,AS YOUR HUSBAND I AM WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO IN BENIN,DO YOU HAVE ANY BUSINESS WITH ANY BODY THERE IF ANY THING PLEASE KINDLY LET ME KNOW OK,

HONEY YOU KNOW THAT YOU CANT NOT DO ANY THING WITHOUT LETTING YOUR HUSBAND KNOW HONEY I REAL LOVE YOU MY LOVE,AND YOU KNOW THAT I AM PREPARING FOR YOU TO GIVE YOU BETTER F*CK OK MY LOVE,AND I KNOW THAT BEFORE EVERY THING I WILL PREGNANT YOU ,

HONEY I HAVE TOLD YOU THAT I HAVE A PROBLEM NOW HONEY WHICH I DON'T HAVE MY PASSPORT AND AND MY VISA WHICH I HAVE TO GET EVERY THING DOING HONEY PLEASE HONEY I HAVE SEE WERE WE WILL HAVE OUR SEX BUT PLEASE I DON'T WANT YOU TO GO STREET TO BENIN BEFORE I MEET YOU OVER THERE HONEY WHAT WILL HAVE PLEASE.YOU HAVE TO COME WERE I AM IN AFRICA WHICH I HAVE TO GET MY PASSPORT SO THAT WE CAN GO TO BENIN TOGETHER HONEY OK,

PLEASE MY WIFE,AND I FORGET HOW ABOUT SABRINA TELL HER THAT I MISS HER AND SHE IS NOT WORRY I WILL MEET HER WHEN WE COMES BACK OK MY LOVE,HONEY PLEASE I SUGGEST THAT YOU SHOULD SEND ME $4500 SO THAT I WILL GET MY PASSPORT OK BEFORE YOU COME YOU KNOW I LOST ALL MY THINGS SO PLEASE MY WIFE,
PLEASE IF YOU ARE READ I WILL SEND YOU THE INFORMATION'S YOU WILL USE TO SEND THE MONEY OK MY LOVE,

I REALLY LOVE YOU MY HEART ,DO YOU KNOW THAT YOU ARE MY SOUL MY LIFE MY SUGAR IN MY TEA YOU ARE JUST LIKE MOONING AND STARS IN MY EYES I DO LOVE YOU AND I PROMISE TO SPEND THE REST OF MY LIFE ON YOU OK,

DON'T FORGET TO BUY THE LAPTOP I TOLD TO BUY FOR ME OK MY WIFE,

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE,DON'T GO TO BENIN WITH ME OK YOU COME DOW TO GHANA SO THAT WE CAN GO TOGETHER OK MY WIFE, YES HONEY FOR SABRINA PHONE NUMBER I WRIGHT MAIL TO HER BUT SINCE THEN I HAVE NOT HEAR FROM HER,PLEASE TALK TO HER OK,
I LOVE WAITING TO HEAR FROM YOU SOON HONEY,
I O MUCH LOVE YOU MY WIFE DITZ,
YOURS HUSBAND ,
PRINCE LAD

I hadn't checked Sabrina's account, but sure enough I get this dated Feb 17th:

Quote:

HI SABRINA,
HOW ARE YOU DOING,
PLEASE I KNOW THAT YOU DON'T KNOW ME BUT SINCE I COME ACROSS YOU I NEW THAT YOU WILL HELP ME AND DELIVER THIS MESSAGE PLEASE ,PLEASE MY NAME IS ( PRINCE LAD),I AM A FRIEND OF THE DITZ, AND I LOVE HER AND SINCE I SPEAK TO HER WAS ABOUT THREE DAYS BUT I AM WRITING HER MESSAGE SHE IS NOT REPLYING TO ME AND I WONDERING WHAT HAPPEN IF SHE IS OK,

PLEASE I WANT TO MARRIED HER I LOVE HER OK PLEASE IF YOU CAN GIVE ME YOUR NUMBER SO THAT I WILL CALL YOU AND SPEAK TO HER,PLEASE I AM CRAZZY IF I DID NOT HERE FROM HER I MISS HER SO MUCH AND I AM READ TO MARRY HER BECAUSE I SO MUCH LOVE HER OK HELP ME AND LET HER KNOW THAT I WANT TO SPEAK TO HER AND LET HER GET BACK TO ME ON MY PREVIOR MAIL OK,
THANKS MY DEAR SABRINA,
YOURS ONE,
PRINCE LAD,

To which I simply respond "Who the f*ck are you???". I will edit in Kathrin's response, but it WILL be along the lines of "Man up"! ETA my response... Wink

Quote:

Schatzi,

Silly billy, I do not have business in Benin, I will go there to holiday once I have settled down here in Redfern, and as I said you will join me there. looks spectacular and Wolfie has gotten us a special deal if we travel later rather than sooner.

Schatzi, I have said before that I not born in Australia, and in German tradition (Particularly in Urolagnia where I am from), the man has to prove he is willing and able to support his wife in Marriage. While I am happy to reimburse you for whatever you spend getting to Benin, I cannot and will not give any money up front. I am sorry, but it is tradition, and I am sure it is similar where you are from. You understand of course...

Once you arrive in Benin, I will purchase a laptop for you there as it is less luggage to carry. But as I have mentioned before, I am new to computers so you will have to do some research and tell me the make and model of the laptop you wish me to purchase.

I have also discovered Europcar also have an office in Benin, so we can rent a car until we purchase one for you. I want to make sure you are not being ripped off when you buy a car, and Sabrina knows MUCH more about cars than I do, she will be most beneficial in your choice of purchase.

Sabrina has not gotten back to you? I am sorry Schatzi, I forgot to mention you were writing, I will mention it when I see her later. She can be a little gruff with people she doesn't know.

Ditz

Edited to mask Simb@ Embarassed

Posted: Mon Mar 05, 2012 12:22 pm

Quote:

I WILL PREGNANT YOU

Smooth talker! Laughing

Quote:

YOU ARE JUST LIKE MOONING

This one's a keeper, Chrys.

Posted: Tue Mar 06, 2012 12:07 am

Thank you Phil, he has been a source of amusement that's for sure.

Lad gets back to me, and sure enough, lad wants to break with tradtion: Wink

Quote:

HI MY LOVE,

I AM VERY HAPPY TO HEAR FROM YOU AND VERY MUCH SMILING ON YOU,
HONEY YOU ARE MY WIFE AND YOU MY LIFE ALSO MY JOY HONEY NOW YOU SAID THAT YOU ARE GOING TO BENIN AND YOU DON'T HAVE ANY BUSINESS OVER THERE ,HONEY MAKE SURE THAT WERE WE ARE GOING TO STAY IS SAFETY NOTHING WILL HAPPEN TO US WHICH YOU KNOW WHAT HAPPEN TO ME HERE HONEY,

NOW I HAVE UNDERSTAND YOUR TRADITIONAL HONEY,
AND WANT TO LET YOU KNOW THAT SENDING ME MONEY IS NOT A BAD THING TO A WIFE TO SEND MONEY TO HER HUSBAND HONEY YOU ARE MY WIFE OK,I NEED TO HAVE ANOTHER PASSPORT HERE AND HAVE GET FLY TICKET TO MEET YOU IN BENIN THERE HONEY,

YOU KNOW CRIMINALS ATTACK ME AND TAKE MY BAG WHICH I DON'T HAVE ANY THING LIFT IN MY THAT IS WHY I TOLD YOU TO SEND ME THE MONEY OK LET ME GET ANOTHER PASSPORT SO THAT IMMEDIATELY YOU LAND IN BENIN I WILL MEET YOU OVER THERE IN AIRPORT MY WIFE PLEASE HOPE YOU UNDERSTAND ME OK,PLEASE SEND IT TO ME SO THAT I WILL GET ANOTHER PASSPORT HERE URGENT OK MY LOVE ,

I AM VERY HAPPY TO MEET MY WIFE AND HONEY HOW MANY WEEKS WE ARE GOING TO BE THERE AND GOON BACK,PLEASE MY WIFE TRY OK AND SEND IT IS ONLY $4500 OK ,
THANKS AND MAY GOD BLESS YOU MY WIFE AND PROTECT YOU,
YOURS LOVELY HUSBAND,
PLEASE MY LOVE I NEED TO CALL YOU OK AND KNOW THE TIME YOU WILL BE THERE AND HEAR YOU BEAUTIFUL VOICE,
PRINCE LAD,

The Ditz, being the deeply superstitious Bint she is, is not having a bar of it: Wink

Quote:

Schatzi,

I read your email and you CLEARLY do not understand our traditions. Yes I can spend money on you, but only AFTER we are married! It is NOT okay to spend money on your man before marriage it is bad luck to do so! Surely as an African person, you understand my superstitions and my need to conform to them...

I am a deeply superstitious woman and I will not break with our traditions! To break this superstition would result in the end of our friendship, let alone our relationship, it says so in the numerous books I have on the subject. It's just like the old German saying, "those who work in the woods will never be rich!" My brother in law used to work in the woods and sure enough, he is very poor!

Schatzi, I know you are going through a hard time right now, but this is VITAL to me. As I am certain I have mentioned, I am a deeply superstitious woman, and things like this are important to me. It is a test of our love, one you will need to pass if we are to marry on my arrival in Benin.

Do not worry, I won't be leaving for awhile yet, giving you plenty of time to get your affairs in order, and I of course, will let you know of my travel plans once I have finalised them. I am more than happy to give you the money back AFTER we are married, it is no longer bad luck to do so, but I cannot risk this going wrong, especially if I am to travel around the world to marry you.

By the way I have spoken to Sabrina, and she did mention that she got an email from "some guy" (her words, not mine). If you want her phone number you will have to ask her I am finding the whole phone thing all too confusing to deal with right now.

Ditz

Game on!

Posted: Fri Mar 09, 2012 3:40 am

Cheeky bastard tries to get around my "traditions":

Quote:

HI MY DEAR WIFE DITZ,
I ACKNOWLEDGE YOUR MAIL CONTENT AND I WANT TO LET YOU KNOW THAT,WE HAVE ALREADY MARRIED OK,AND I WANT TO LET YOU KNOW AGING THAT ASKING MONEY DOSE NOT MEAN THAT WE ARE NOT GOING TO MARRY HONEY YOU KNOW MY SITUATION HERE NOW SO PLEASE I WANT TO YOU TO HELP ME IN THIS NOW,AND I HAVE NO MORE TO HAVE MY PASSPORT HERE AND FLY TO BENIN,

AND I AM STILL ASKING YOU IF WERE WE ARE GOING TO SLEEP IS SECURE LET ME KNOW HONEY,AND FOR THE PHONE I AM ASKING YOU HONEY,I DOT THINK THAT PHONE WILL BE OUR PROBLEM MY LOVE ,CAN YOU JUST THINK THIS ,YOU ARE MY WIFE I HAVE NOT HEAR YOUR VOICE FOR ONCE ,AT LIST WE SUPPOSE TO BE CALLING EVERY TIME EVERY DAY MY WIFE,YOU CANT HEAR MY VOICE AND I CANT HEAR YOURS ,

WHAT SHOWS HONEY WHY CANT YOU GET A PHONE ,YOU BUY A CAR TO SABRINA AND YOU CANT BUY A PHONE THAT YOU WILL USE AND CALL YOUR HUSBAND HONEY,SO PLEASE TRY OK TODAY AND GET ONE PHONE HOPE YOU HAVE MY PHONE NUMBER ,PLEASE WAITING TO HEAR FROM YOU,TRY AND CALL ME NOW OK,I LOVE YOU HONEY,

PLEASE IS NOT THAT I AM ASKING YOU MONEY EVERY TIME BUT THIS IS WHAT I WANT TO USE THAT MONEY DO OK,SO PLEASE TRY I NEED IT OK,SO THAT I CAN HAVE MY PASSPORT OK,
I LOVE YOU MY LOVE,
YOURS ONE,
PRINCE.LAD,

And I also get this. Lad wants to know why I'm not writing! Um, 'cos I have a LIFE! Let's just say I'm not going to be happy:

Quote:

HI HONEY,
HOW ARE YOU DOING,
PLEASE MY WIFE WHAT IS THE PROBLEM BETWEEN ME AND YOU THAT MAKES YOU NOT WRIGHT ME AGING,PLEASE I NEED TO CALL YOU AND KNOW THAT TIME YOU WILL BE IN AFRICA OK,PLEASE MY LOVE IF I HAVE OFFENDED YOU PLEASE LET ME KNOW SO THAT I WILL ASK YOU FORGIVENESS OK,

SO PLEASE MY LOVE,I NEED TO CALL YOU OK,HOW IS SABRINA,,
WAITING TO HEAR FROM YOU MY DEAR WIFE,
HONEY YOU KNOW AM SO WORRIED ABOUT YOU I NEED TO MEET YOU AND I NEED TO HAVE MY HONEY MOON WITH YOU MY LOVE,PLEASE GET BACK TO ME ,
I LOVE YOU MY WIFE,
YOURS LOVELY ONE,
PRINCE LAD,

ETA. I write back. Seems the ditz is a Lutheran and needs a marriage in writing, not just lad's word:

Quote:

Schatzi,

I am sorry, but you do not understand my traditions. A marriage is a ceremony, ideally in a church, with paperwork given out at the end. Just saying I'm married isn't good enough, I spoke to my local parish priest about this and they agree. Until we are formally married, I cannot give you a cent, it is bad luck and will result in a divorce. To be honest, I am not certain I could withstand another divorce so soon after divorcing Nick. I am looking into it, and there may in fact be a Lutheran Church in Benin (you ARE a Lutheran aren't you?) that we could get married in!

You have mentioned before that you are going through a hard time and I want to help you I really do. But in the Lutheran faith this is a test. A test that proves that no matter how hard things get, you will be up to the task and will more than strong enough to support your future wife. When Nick and I got married he had to go through this also, while still serving as an American Soldier at Ramstein Air force Base in Germany where we met.

I cannot understand why you are pressuring me to buy a phone. Phones and technology as a rule confuses me. There are so many phones out there, promising all sorts of things. What on earth is an "app"??? DO I want a smartphone? What the hell is a "megapixel"? It sounds like like cartoon TV villain to me!

I just want to make sure I get the right one. Something simple that I can ring people. Plus you are the only person Sabrina has not given the number to yet. Why I do not know, she says you haven't asked. Email her, I'm sure she'll give it to you.

And yes I bought a car for Sabrina, which she uses every day and I use when I need to. But she knew exactly what she wanted, where the car was and how much it would cost. It was a second hand American made Mustang. And they are quite rare in Australia, especially pink ones. So that decision was easy. Phones are not. And besides, if I am to travel soon, I will need to buy another phone anyway. I think I will wait until I return. When we marry, you can buy phones for us both!

Ditz

Posted: Fri Mar 09, 2012 1:01 pm

Lad gets back to me with the sam message twice. Seems my wish is his command:

Quote:

HI MY WIFE,.
HOW ARE YOU DOING ,
I RECEIVE YOUR MAIL AND I NOTED IT ,HONEY I WANT TO LET YOU KNOW THAT YOUR WISH IS IN COMMAND,HONEY I WILL DO AS YOU SAID TO SHOW THAT I AM THE RIGHT PERSON AT THE RIGHT TIME ON YOU MEANS THAT AM YOUR HUSBAND,HONEY REAL LOVE YOU AND I PROMISE TO BE WITH YOU EVERY TIME EVERY DAY HONEY YOU ARE THE ONLY ONE THAT GOD HAS BRING TO ME FOR ME TO SPEND THE REST IOF MY LIFE ON,

I REAL LOVE YOU MY WIFE ,
PLEASE I WANT NEED FROM YOU TO BUY THE PHONE SO THAT I WILL CALL YOU OK AND YOU HAVE MY YOU CAN CALL ME AND LET ME KNOW WHEN YOU WILL REACH HERE PLEASE YOU KNOW THAT I KNOW TO KNOW WHEN YOUR FLYT TAKE OFF AND WHEN YOU WILL REACH HERE HONEY,PLEASE UNDERSTAND ME TOO AND FOR YOUR TRADITION I WILL FOLLOW AS YOU SAID ,PLEASE HONEY HOW CAN WE GET A CAR TO HAVE OUR WEEDING,

YES YOU KNOW THAT THIS ARE GOING HARD TO ME HERE AND IT WILL NOT MAKE YOU NOT TO HAVE A HELP TO YOUR HUSBAND AND YOU KNOW AM YOUR ONLY ONE IN YOUR HEART ,HONEY I LOVE AND I CANT WAIT TO BE WITH YOU FOR EVER AND EVER,PLEASE GET BACK TO ME AND WHEN ARE YOU PREPARING TO BE IN BENIN,I LOVE YOU MY HEART,
YOUR LOVELY HUSBAND,

PRINCE LAD,

ETA... I send this back;

Quote:

Emeka,

I must confess that I am starting to get annoyed at your insistence on me purchasing a phone. I have said many times that I will wait until I return from Benin to purchase a phone, where I can get advice from both you and Sabrina on which phone to get. I have asked Sabrina whether you have gotten in touch for a second time and she tells me you have not bothered. If you wish to speak to me then you will have to write to Sabrina, as all this technology talk is going over my head and I simply want to relax with a glass or six of bubbly.

I have mentioned before that we will simply rent a car from Europcar on our Arrival in Benin for our trip there, and we will purchase you a car once we return to either Ghana or Australia. As my husband you would be entitled to return to Australia, as I am a citizen of this country. You would be a citizen by default.

And don't worry Schatzi, I will send you the details of my flight with plenty of time for you to make arrangements to meet me in Benin. I would hate for you to miss my flight, it could cause all sorts of complications. And we wouldn't want that now, would we!

Ditz

No, we wouldn't want that at all! Twisted Evil

ETA... Lad gets back to me:

Quote:

Hi my dear wife Katrin,
OK my wife,
i real happy that soon i will hear your voice trough Sabrina,
and now after writing you i will right her to give me the phone number so that i will call her to give you phone ok my love,once aging my love,

please dont forget to send me your flit details ok so that immediately you arrive in Benin i will meet you there then after our marriage then we now come to Ghana before going back to Australia honey i real love you my wife,

and please dont forget to tell Sabrina to wright me back ok,because i need to call you and hear the voice of my wife ok my love,
waiting to hear from you my love,
yours husband ,
PRINCE LAD,

I decide one good letter deserves another. Seems the Ditz has had a bit too much to drink:

Quote:

Schatzi,

I am SO f*cking drunk! Mitzi and Priscilla have driven down from Goulburn to spend the weekend with Sabrina and I! we have hired a male stripper and he is about to do his routine! You should see this man's abs, f*ck he is a god... A GOD!

I must get more bubbly

Ditz

And just to remind him I can spend his payday, I send him this. I left the spelling mistakes 'cos she's drunk:

Quote:

Schatzi,

I have sopken to 'Brina about you. I have to go now, the stripper is about to take his clothes off, and with a body like his, it's worth the $600 we spent on him. Would you consdider a three way with another man?

Drunk Ditz

Posted: Fri Mar 09, 2012 5:55 pm

Rather than edit in yet another reply, I thought I'd start a new box. Lad is starting to twig the Ditz may have a drinking problem:

Quote:

Honey what is the meaning of this drinking every time my love please i am advising you to stop ok ,please give Sabrina my phone number to call me ok,i love you my wife,

PRINCE LAD,

I send him, this back. Unlike every other scammer I've ever dealt with, this one doesn't seem to want to chat, which works for me. I send him this back:

Quote:

Schazti,

I am celebrating. My friends have driven down from Goulburn, which is under threat of flooding. I rarely see them, so it is a time of celebration. Are you accusing me of being an alcoholic? You better not be

Ditz

Posted: Sun Mar 11, 2012 6:16 am

Lad gets back to me:

Quote:

HI HONEY ,

HOW ARE YOU DOING TODAY,
PLEASE I WANT TO LET YOU KNOW THAT I AM NOT ACCUSING YOU THAT YOU ARE A DRUNKER OK SO I AM JUST ASKING YOU BECAUSE YOU TOLD ME ON YOUR LAST MAIL THAT YOU ARE DRINKING THAT IS WHY I TOLD YOU THAT YOU SHOULD TAKE IR EASE OK MY LOVE,

SO HOW IS THE CELEBRATION GOS YESTERDAY HONEY ,PLEASE TELL SABRINA THAT I HAVE SENT HER MAIL AND LET HER REPLY ME SO THAT I WILL GET HER PHONE NUMBER OK MY WIFE,I MISS YOU SO MUCH AND I REAL LOVE YOU,MEANS THAT WE HAVE ALREADY BE TOGETHER,I LOVE YOU MY WIFE,
YOURS LOVELY HUSBAND,
PRINCE LAD,

Pity then Sabrina isn't going to trust him one iota Wink

ETA... Lad also sends this, but my laptop died and I didn't reply:

Quote:

HI HONEY ,
HOW ARE YOU DON'T TODAY,AND HOPE YOU WENT TO CHURCH YESTERDAY,HONEY I WANT TO LET YOU KNOW THAT I HAVE WRIGHT SABRINA CONCERN THE PHONE NUMBER ,AND I HAVE NOT HEAR FROM HERE HONEY AND SINCE TWO DAYS NOW I HAVE NOT HEAR FROM YOU MY LOVE,PLEASE TRY AND GET BACK TO ME OK I NEED YOU OK,AND HOPE SOON YOU WILL MEET ME AND ,I HAVE TO GET THE FEELING I AM HAVING ON YOU DON,

I REAL LOVE YOU MY WIFE AND PROMISE TO SPEND THE REST OF MY LIFE ON YOU,HONEY PLEASE I NEED YOUR PICTURES NOW OK SEND ME LIKE 5 OR 7 OK MY LOVE SO THAT I WILL SEE YOU OK,AND I DON'T KNOW IF YOU ARE ON SKYPE OR LET ME ADD YOU ON YAHOO MESSENGER OK MY LOVE,
YOUR MORE BEAUTIFUL TO ME ,
I LOVE YOU MORE THE YOU DO HONEY,
YOURS ONE,
PRINCE LAD,

I don't think I even HAVE 5-7 photos of International chrysis Wink

Lad sends this the next day, it'll be another 8 days before I write back:

Quote:

HONEY WERE ARE COME BACK TO ME OK,I MISS YOU AND I LOVE YOU MY WIFE,
YOURS ONE PRINCE LAD,

Let's see if I can skip the 5-7 photos Wink

... Edited for typos Embarassed

Posted: Wed Mar 21, 2012 4:10 am

In RL, my laptop died and after spending a lot of cash on a keyboard, it takes 2 weeks to get the cash for a replacement. As I type, I'm at the store getting my hard drive ghosted onto a new one. Lad writes several emails to the Ditz (which I'll let him stew over), and this 11 days ago to Sabrina::

Quote:

HI SABRINA,
MY NAME IS PRINCE LAD,
HOW ARE YOU DOING,
I KNOW YOU DON'T KNOW ME MUCH BUT SOON YOU WILL KNOW,
PLEASE I NEED YOUR PHONE NUMBER I WANT TO CALL MY WIFE KATHTIN ,
OK ,
SO PLEASE GIVE IT TO ME OK,YOURS SISTER HUSBAND PRINCE EMEKA

I send him this back... LANGUAGE WARNING Peeps:

Quote:

Look pal (and I use the term loosely),

I get back from an overseas holiday and you STILL haven't told me who the fuck you are. Yet you ask for my phone number like all the other creepy fucktards at my college! I'm not giving my number to some creep who CLAIMS to be my Aunt's wife, even I know she's not married. I don't know what country YOU'RE from, but where I come from, married people have rings on their fingers! Where's Kathrin's?

Oh yeah, and I don't trust you. I can't put my finger on it yet, but there's something suspicious about you. I ain't giving you jackshit until I work that out...

'Brina

More soon

And yeah, it's good to be back, I missed this place! Edited for typos Embarassed

Posted: Wed Mar 21, 2012 2:18 pm

I also send this back to lad:

Quote:

Schatzi,

I apologise for not writing sooner, but my laptop died. I returned it to where I bought it as it was still under warranty, but when they returned it it still had the same problem. And I could not ask Sabrina about it, because she had gone to Byron Bay to visit some old high school chums. and she took the phone so i could not even ring her.

I am not avoiding you, but it has been a very trying time. I even considered returning to the internet cafe I used to attend, until I discovered that someone had been mugged there. You don't me to be mugged do you schatzi?

On a happier note, I have finalised my travel details and will arrive in Benin in May. I will send a copy of my itinerary as soon as I get a copy myself.

I missed having a laptop to talk to you schnucki

Ditz

In RL, my birthday is in may. What better birthday present than a safari!

Posted: Fri Mar 23, 2012 2:46 am

Lad is pleased to see me:

Quote:

HI MY DEAR SOUL AND JOY MY LOVE,

HI MY LOVE I AM VERY HAPPY THAT YOU ARE OK FOR ME,EVIN I AM CRYING ASKING MY SELF IS IT ANY THING HAPPEN THAT MAKE MY LOVE HAVE NOT WRIGHT TO ME IF THERE IS ANY PROBLEM HONEY YOU KINDLY LET ME KNOW,BUT NOW I AM VERY HAPPY THAT MY WIFE IS OK,MY DEAR I AM HERE TO LET YOU KNOW THAT THE DAY THAT GOD WILL JOINED US TOGETHER HEAVEN WILL KNOW THAT SOME IS HAPPENING

AND I KNOW THAT ANGEL OF GOD WILL GIULD US ,HONEY I REAL LOVE YOU AND I PROMISE TO SPEND THE REST OF MY LIFE ON YOU ,PLEASE TRY SO THAT YOU WILL SEND ME THE COPE OF YOUR TRAVELING DETAILS OK MY LOVE SO THAT I WILL LOCATE YOU OK,AND HOPE YOU STILL HAVE MY PHONE NUMBER OK HONEY PLEASE TRY AND USE SABRINA PHONE TO CALL ME OK SO THAT I WILL HEAR THE VOICE OF MY WIFE OK ,

I LOVE YOU HONEY AND THERE WAS PICTURES I ASK YOU TO SEND TO ME OK,SO PLEASE MY LOVE TRY AND SEND ME MORE OF YOUR PICTURES SO THAT I WILL KNOW YOUR BEAUTIFUL FACE YOU HAVE ON ME AND SO THAT WHEN I AM COMING I WILL USE IT AND KNOW THAT YOU ARE THE RIGHT PERSON ON ME MY DEAR LOVER ,PLEASE ONE AGING YOU KNOW AFTER HAVING OUR WEEDING IN BENIN THE WE COME TO GHANA ,THEN AFTER THAT WE GOING BACK TOGETHER ,

HONEY REMEMBER ALL YOUR PROMISE ON ME AND I PROMISE THAT I WILL NOT DISAPPOINT YOU IN MY LIFE OK,AND I PROMISE YOU THAT I WILL SPEND THE REST OF MY LIFE ON YOU MY LOVE ,I LOVE YOU SO MUCH MORE THAN EVERY THING AROUND ME MY LOVE OK,
READING THIS MESSAGE GOD WILL BLESS YOU AND GUILD YOU IN JESUS NAME AMEN,
YOURS LOVELY ONE,

PRINCE LAD,

ETA... I find a bracket of phone numbers reserved for The Australian Communications and Media Authority, and they're used in movies, kinda like the way America's 555 extensions are used, I plan to use them soon. In the meantime, I check Sabrina's email account. After abusing him from her, and getting ready to call the lad a scammer, I get this back:

Quote:

HI Sabrina,
how are you doing hope you are fine,
please my name is PRINCE LAD,
i am from Canad but right now am in Africa,
and i am business Guy,
i Deal on God And Diamond,so i am writing your Aunt but she is not replying me i don't know if there is any problem OK,please i need to talk to her OK i real love her and i have promise her and God that i will spend the rest of my life on her OK ,so please i need her OK,please give me your phone so that if i called you then you give her the phone OK ,please help me tell her that i miss her so much OK,
waiting to hear from you soon och,
PRINCE.LAD

As I type, I've spent the afternoon looking up flights to Benin, then used the e-ticket generator in tips to make an e-ticket telling lad I arrive in Benin, on May 12th. Adjusting for laocal time differences, it will be my birthday by the time lad realises I'm NOT there! Twisted Evil

More edits... I write back to Lad telling him I'm coming across in May and he'd better be there. I send my passport (a picture of a passport COVER), and the fake e-ticket:

Quote:

Schatzi,

I have received my e-ticket for my flight to Benin in May. I leave Sydney on May the 11th at 10am on a flight from Virgin and arrive in Cotonou on May 12th at 10.20pm on a Kenya Airways flight. You will need to be there in Cotonou for the shuttle bus to , which I have booked a room for us both and another for Sabrina. We will stay there for a week, then we will get the car you asked for, to use for the trip to Ghana. Should we drive to Benin Schatzi? or should we get a plane, which I will book in Benin. If the drive is pretty maybe we should do it. Sabrina will be flying back to Australia after Simb@ anyway, so either way it will be just you and I. Which is the most romantic way to travel to Benin???

My return flight is on June 30th on a Virgin Nigeria flight, so if you wish to return you will need to replace your passport if you wish to return to Australia with me. I have included a copy of my European Union Passport, as well as the e-ticket to Benin Wolfie got for me. When I arrive in Benin, is there anything I should bring? Or will we buy it there in Africa?

Oh Schatzi, I am so excited about this, my dreams are coming true! I'm so happy, I could SHIT!

Ditz

Couldn't resist throwing in that quote from the John Waters classic "Serial Mom"! edited to Mask Simb@ Embarassed

Posted: Fri Mar 23, 2012 3:33 pm

Lad gets back to me, seems he's a happy little vegemite:

Quote:

HI HONEY,
HOW ARE YOU DOING ,I AM VERY TOO MUCH HAPPY TO HEAR FROM YOU AND ALSO TO HEAR THAT YOUR FLY TICKET HAS COME OUT WHICH I AM VERY HAPPY AND I AM ASSURING YOU THAT YOUR DREAM HAS COME TROUGH WHICH OUR ALMIGHTY GOD IS WITH US,HONEY YOU ARE MY WIFE AND I WANT TO LET YOU KNOW THAT SO FAR I AM THE RIGHT PERSON ON YOU AND GOD HAS SUPPORTED US NO ONE WILL PUT ASUNDER IN THIS OUR MARRIAGE OK MY LOVE I REAL LOVE YOU MY WIFE AND I PROMISE TO SPEND THE REST OF MY LIFE ON YOU WHICH WILL LIKE TO HEAR FROM YOU TOO THAT YOU WILL SPEND THE REST OF YOUR LIFE ON ME IF YOU SAID THAT GOD IS OUR WITNESS ON,

HONEY THAT DAY,ALL THE ANGEL OF GOD THAT IN THE EARTH AND IN THIS WORLD WILL PROTECT US AND BE OUT WITHNESS WHEN PASTOR WILL WILL ASK YOU DO YOU,THEN YOU WILL SAY YES I DO,AND HE WILL ASK ME TOO THEN I WILL YES YES I DO,TO SHOW THAT OUR DREAM HAS LETTER COME TRUE OK,I LOVE YOU HONEY,
HONEY PLEASE THAT IS WHY I TOLD YOU THAT I HAVE TO GET A PASSPORT HEAR AND MY VISA HERE SO THAT BEFORE YOU WILL COME EVERY THING HAS COME OUT OK MY LOVE THAT IS WHY I ASK YOU MONEY THAT TIME OK SO WHAT IS YOUR MIND NOW HONEY,

AND I WILL LIKE TO KNOW THE PARTICULAR PLACE WE WILL HAVE OUR WEEDING OK,BUT I WILL LIKE TO HAVE OUR WEEDING HERE IN GHANA OK MY LOVE SO THAT WE FROM THERE AND GO BACK TOGETHER OK MY LOVE,YOU THINK ABOUT IT OK,I REAL LOVE YOU MY DEAR ONE,AND REMEMBER THAT OUR WEEDING RING I PROMISE TO GET GOLD AND SILVER OK MY LOVE SO YOU PLEASE CHECK THE ONE YOU LIKE SO THAT I WILL GET IT FOR YOU OK AND HOPE YOU WILL LIKE IT RIGHT,PLEASE MY DEAR THING ABOUT MY PASSPORT NOW AND MY VISA OK, HOPE YOU UNDERSTAND ME CLEAR HONEY,

I LOVE YOU MY WIFE,WAITING TO HEAR FROM YOU MY ANGEL,
YOURS LOVELY ONE,
PRINCE LAD,

I sent back this terse little number:

Quote:

Schatzi,

We should will get married at the S@fari Camp. From what little I've been able to glean about Benin, they don't seem to have a Lutheran church, so I have been given special permission from my pastor to marry at Simb@.

I don't understand your question about your passport. I have my position VERY clear on this matter. If you are unable to get replacements for your passport and visa, then I will have to cancel my trip to Benin, as I really wish to marry there, it is such a beautiful country! But you have until May to sort this matter out, so I do not expect to hear about this issue again.

Ditz

Lad gets back to me:

Quote:

HI HONEY,
I UNDERSTAND YOU WELL,BUT WHAT I AM GOING TO LET YOU KNOW THAT MY PASSPORT IS NOT FROM GHANA OK,AND I CANT GET REPLACEMENT ON IT AGING OK I HAVE TO GET NEW ONE HERE OK,I NEW THAT YOUR PASSPORT IS VERY CLEAR OK,

SO WHAT I AM TRYING TO ASK YOU AGING WERE ARE WE GOING TO HAVE OUR WEEDING AND HAVE YOU TALK TO PASSPORT ABOUT IT ,AND HOW ARE WE GOING TO HAVE OUR CAR OVER THERE HONEY PLEASE YOU KNOW THIS ARE HARD FOR ME HERE AND WHAT SHOULD I DO NOW TO GE THIS DON,PLEASE LOVE TRY AND UNDERSTAND ME OK,

I HAVE GET YOUR FLY TICKET AND YOUR PASSPORT BUT IS NOT YOUR FACE YOU JUST SHOW ME THE BACK OF THE PASSPORT OK SHOW ME THE REAL INSIDE OK,HONEY I NEED YOUR NEW PICTURES OK SO THAT I WILL HAVE IT OK,
I LOVE YOU MY WIFE OK,
YOURS ONE,
PRINCE LAD,

I send him this back:

Quote:

Lad,

You are upsetting me with the fact you do not seem to read what I say. I have said many times we will marry in Ghana at the in Benin. Wolfie arranged the travel details for me, and I have sent the link to the website to you so you can see how beautiful the place is for yourself.

How we get a car will be up to you, whether we pick it up in Benin or upon our return to Ghana. But since you will be returning with me to my Native Germany as my Husband for a holiday, before immigrating to Australia, I suggest perhaps just simply renting one

You will need to organise Visas and passports for yourself. I am 12,000 miles away and am travelling to Benin, you are but a few hundred miles away in Ghana, it will be up to you to get your paperwork together! How hard can it be?

Ditz

When in doubt, quote Top Gear Wink

ETA... I decide to throw Lad a carrot, Sabrina says he can have the phone number:

Quote:

Schatzi,

Sabrina has just returned home from working as a Bouncer at Arq Nightclub, and she mentioned you have written to her. She says that I should be wary, but I can give the phone number of her iPhone. It is <snipped, but a number guaranteed NOT to work, it's held by ACMA for use on TV>, but it is late here, and I will go to bed now

Ditz

I rang it myself, it doesn't work

Posted: Sun Mar 25, 2012 3:59 am

Lad gets back to me. Seems he can't get the phone number to work:

Quote:

HI HONEY I AM VERY HARPY TO GET THE PHONE NUMBER YOU SENT TO ME BUT I AM TRYING TO REACH YOU BUT IT IS SHOWING ME INVALID NUMBER SO HONEY TRY AND GIVE ME THE CELL NUMBER CORRECT WITH THE CODE NUMBER OK MY LOVE,
THANKS ONCE AGING,
YOURS ONE PRINCE LAD

I'll tear him a new one later, seems it works for everyone else. In the meantime, Lad is trying to get assertive. Seems he wants to marry in Ghana:

Quote:

HI HONEY,
ONCE AGING I AM HERE TO LET YOU KNOW THAT YOUR PLANS IS GOOD BUT IN ADDITION PLEASE MY LOVE I NEED YOUR HELP OK,WHAT I NEED FROM YOU IS TO FOLLOW MY INSTRUCTION OK,PLEASE WE HAVE TO HAVE OUR CURT WEEDING HERE IN GHANA OK AND SECONDLY YOU KNOW I HAVE A PROBLEM HERE WHICH I HAVE TOLD YOU BEFORE HONEY,PLEASE THAT IS WHY I NEED YOUR HELP,

HERE IN GHANA IS THE PLACE I WILL WERE WE CAN HAVE THE WEEDING AND SOME OF MY PEOPLE WILL BE AWAY OF THIS MARRIAGE OK MY LOVE SO TRY AND UNDERSTAND ME WELL OK,AND YOU KNOW THAT I WILL GET MY PASSPORT HERE IN GHANA AND MY VISA WHICH WE WILL FROM GHANA TRAVEL TO YOUR COUNTRY MY WIFE PLEASE UNDERSTAND ME OK,

I HAVE NO MONEY WITH ME TO PROCESSES ALL YOU ARE ASKING ME NOW OK MY LOVE WHAT I HAVE FOR YOU IS ONLY LOVE AND I HAVE MAE UP MY MIND TO SPEND THE REST OF MY LOVE AND MY LIFE ON YOU MY DEAR WIFE,PLEASE TRY TO UNDERSTAND MY SITUATION HERE NOW OK,SO PLEASE HERE IS THE PLACE WERE WE CAN HAVE THE WEEDING AND I HAVE MAY PEOPLE WHO WILL STAND BEHAVE OF ME AND YOU OK,

PLEASE I WILL LIKE TO ADVICE YOU IMMEDIATELY YOU COME TO BENIN THE WE NOW COME TO GHANA TO HAVE OUT WEEDING OK,SO PLEASE MY LOVE YOU ARE MY WIFE LET US HELP EACH OTHER AND PLEASE I ASK YOU TO SENT ME THE PICTURES THAT YOU HAVE NOW OR LET ME KNOW THE ACTUALLY TIME YOU WILL BE ON LINE OK SO THAT I WILL BE WITH YOU SO THAT WE CAN CHART CAM 2 CAM OK MY LOVE HOPE YOU UNDERSTAND ME,

HEAR HONEY TRY AND CALL ME WITH THE SABRINA NUMBER OK SO THAT I WILL HAVE IT ,BECAUSE I AM TRYING TO CALL YOU BUT IT WAS NOT GOING OK,
YOURS LOVELY HUSBAND,
PRINCE LAD

And (I think) the Lad's trying emotional blackmail. He writes so badly though, it's hard to tell:

Quote:

HI HONEY CHECK THE RINGS AND TELL ME THE ONE YOU LOVE OK SO THAT I WILL KNOW WHAT TO DO OK,
I LOVE YOU MY WIFE,

I love a lad that does weekends. will edit in a reply soon

Yeah riggggght! The Ditz will NOT be happy. Just 'cos he's the "man I love", doesn't give him the right to ruin a gal's "weeding plans". But I have a brainwave and temporarily shelve the Ditz's plans. Lad gets an email alright, but from Sabrina. And she's more than happy to explain why lad can't get through: Wink

Quote:

Okay, Lad is it???

I'm gonna be straight up. I don't trust you and until you prove otherwise, I have blocked your number from my phone. No in or out. I love my Aunt, and if I thought for a second you were going to hurt her in any way, I would hunt you down like a dog and rip your f*cking face off, then feed it to you in small mouthfuls!!!

And as state Tae Kwon do champ, I can (and am more than willing to) do that to you!

I am also the tech savvy one, so Ditz needs my help to do pretty much anything! Convince me I am wrong, and I will do my utmost to make sure you and Ditz are happy. Fail, and I'm log into her account and block you from it. As I've said, I can do that, I'm studying IT at Sydney Uni.

I've attached a pic of my last Tae Kwon do competition. I'm in the red!

'Brina

I attach a picture of Australian Tae Kwon Do champ Lauren Burns in Action

More tomorrow

Posted: Mon Mar 26, 2012 3:35 am

Lad gets back to me, seems he thinks he can "dob me in", and reports Sabrina to the Ditz, which made me laugh out loud. She's gonna pretend she can't read it then lay down the law over the " curt weeding"

ETA... I didn't notice this, but in one of the emails, Lad sends a whole stack of pictures of rings. Now I know we don't cash bait, but what do you think? Should I try get him to send me a ring? Am guessing they'd cost a bit, though I have SERIOUS doubts that he'd actually buy one, more likely try get me to. In the meantime, I ignore the rings, and write back about the "curt weeding":

Quote:

Emeka,

A COURT wedding??? You ARE joking aren't you! Even if I hadn't have already hired a celebrant to marry us at the in Benin, I would NEVER agree to a court wedding in Ghana, and I would have to abandon my relationship with you immediately if you intend to pursue this route of conversation.

Wolfie married his boyfriend at Simb@, and the photos he and his husband got of the wedding are stunning! Why you would want to trade the views of in Benin for a Court in Ghana is beyond me! No schatzi, we will marry in Benin in May, you have over a month to prepare, you can do that can't you? How hard can it be!

As for the phone, I do not know what to say. I have checked the number and it is correct, and as I type Sabrina is using the phone. So obviously it is not broken, maybe there is something wrong with your phone. Have you had your phone serviced recently?

Ditz

Then hitting reply to his email about Sabrina, I delete everything except two dots from an unordered list:

Quote:

Schatzi,

All I see are two dots. Was it important?

Ditz

Posted: Tue Mar 27, 2012 5:25 am

Lad gets back to me, seems he wants to show me who's in control! Unfortunately for the lad, it ISN'T him:

Quote:

HI MY DEAR WIFE,
I READ YOUR MAIL AND UNDERSTAND YOU,BUT IN ONE THING HONEY,SINCE YOU ARE WRITING MAIL TO ME YOU HAVE NOT SOUND LOVELY TO ME ALL YOU ARE WRITING ON ME IS HASH ,

YOU KNOW I AM YOUR HUSBAND AND IF YOU ARE TALKING TO ME YOU TALK TO ME IN A RESPECT WAY OK MY LOVE,I SHOW YOU WHAT SABRINA WRIGHT TO ME AND YOU DID NOT SAID SOME THING HONEY,AND ONCE AGING MY DEAR PLEASE ,

IF YOU KNOW YOU HAVE THE REAL LOVE ON ME AS YOUR HUSBAND THEN YOU FOLLOW MY INSTRUCTION OK AND I WILL FOLLOW YOURS OK MY DEAR WIFE,SO MY DEAR ANY HOW YOU WANT OUR WEEDING TO BE NO PROBLEM OK MY LOVE BUT ALL I AM ASKING IF I DON'T HAVE MONEY WITH ME TO ACCESS MY PASSPORT AND MY VISA,

OK OR IF YOU WANT IT WHEN YOU COME THEN WE NOW GO TO GHANA TO HAVE MY PASSPORT AND MY VISA OK,SO WHAT IS YOUR MIND MY DEAR LOVE,PLEASE MY DEAR ONCE AGING I NEED YOUR NEW PICTURES NOW SCAN IT AND SEND IT TO ME OK,I NEED IT NOW OK MY LOVE,
HOPE YOU UNDERSTAND ME WELL,
THANKS ONCE AGING AND PLEASE DON'T BE FORGETTING TO BE PRAYING TO GOD SO THAT HE WILL DO HIS WISH TO US OK,
YOURS LOVELY ONE,
PRINCE LAD

And then this:

Quote:

HONEY HOW CAN YOU HAVE A HUSBAND AND YOU DID NOT EVIN HEAR HIS VOICE ONLY WRITING ON MAIL OR SE HIM ON CAM HONEY I DON'T UNDERSTAND OK,

I think it's time to tear the lad a new one, so I pile it on thick: Wink

Quote:

Lad,

You cannot even begin to understand how upset I am at receiving your current emails. I have tried many times to do as you ask, yet you continue to be angry with me. I have no idea what a "cam" is, yet you tell me off for not having one. Unlike you and Sabrina, I am am not what she calls "tech savvy". I can barely get this labtop to work, I have no idea what half of it does, and am completely at a loss to explain what happened when it broke down recently. If it had not been under warranty still, I don't know what I would have done. i have looked into the phone as you requested, but when I ask you for advice you do not give me any. I have told you many times that all this talk of technology confuses me, yet you do nothing to alleviate my problems.

And then, you tell me off for not answering the email you claim Sabrina sent you. Now, I am not privy to whatever Sabrina writes or does not write on her emails, and I can only judge what has been said by the email you forwarded to me. And all that email had was two dots on it. Am I supposed to be psychic? Are the dots code for something I do not understand? I feel you are making fun of me with this email!

You seem to be failing the "test" I told you about several months ago. As I said, you can be reimbursed after marriage but you have to be able to show that you can support the woman financially in marriage. It is a tradition known in German society as "Die Brücken am fluß", and it very important in Germany, particularly for traditionalists like myself. I see now, that you do not believe in my ways, and maybe I should reconsider my relationship with you. You do not seem to want me for me, the emails you send me tell me you want to control me, not be my equal. You claim I do not respect you, yet you do not afford me the same privilege.

I will speak to Sabrina about this email you speak of, and then I will speak to Wolfgang and see if my ticket can be refunded. I spent a LOT of money on this wedding and you've done everything you can to sabotage it. I do not understand why, but you win. I will call off the wedding, until this matter can be sorted out!

Ditz

He he he "Die Brücken am fluß"... Apparently, it's the German title for the film, "The Bridges of Madison County" Wink

ETA: He gets a response, from Sabrina. Under the subject heading of "You really know how to piss off a gal, don't you!" I send him this back:

Quote:

Soooo,

I knew I couldn't put my finger on what concerned me about you, but you've gone and done it for me. You're just like , her ex husband! Abusive, manipulative and more than a little misogynist. Well it's a good thing she sees that now, and not later on.

Maybe she'll let me hook her up with some of the hotties from college. More than one or two of my classmates love a good cougar, and she may be in her 40's, but I think Ditz scrubs up pretty well. Lemme say this for the record, if we weren't actually related, I'd do her! (I DID mention I'm bi-sexual didn't I? I have sex both girls and boys, sometimes at the same time)!!! Wink

Let me just say, Ditz is seriously pissed at you!!! She's been on the phone for ages trying to cancel some overseas trip she was planning to meet you. She also says she does NOT want to speak to you, so the phone number remains blocked until she says otherwise! After your little tirade today Ditz knows I had your number blocked, and I strongly suspect it's gonna take awhile before she asks me to remove it.

If you want to get back on her good side, I'd get down on my hands and knees and start seriously kissing her ass! Pucker up princess!

'Niece

Sabrina is so much fun to do Twisted Evil

Posted: Wed Mar 28, 2012 2:50 am

Lad gets back to me, seems he took Sabrina's advice on kissing ass:

Quote:

HI MY DEAR WIFE,
HOW ARE YOU DOING,
I KNOWLEDGE YOUR MAIL AND IT CONTENT THAT YOU ARE NOT HAPPY ABOUT ME,BUT I AM HERE TO LET YOU KNOW THAT IN ANY WAY I HAVE OFFENDED YOU PLEASE MY DEAR WIFE FORGIVE ME AND FORGET ABOUT IT OK,SECONDLY I AM NOT TRYING TO CONTROL YOU,I AM TRYING TO LET YOU KNOW MY FEELING OK MY LOVE,PLEASE AND PLEASE AGING DON'T CALLED OUR WEEDING BACK OK,MY LOVE PLEASE JUST ONLY TO LET YOU KNOW THAT I AM NOT COMFORTABLE WITH SABRINA MAIL OK,PLEASE MY LOVE I AM YOUR HUSBAND AND SHE IS YOUR SISTER OK ,

PLEASE AND GIVE HER ADVICE HOW SHE WRIGHT ME MAIL OK,AND FOR THE PHONE NUMBER PLEASE IF THAT ONE WILL BRING PROBLEM PLEASE FORGET ABOUT IT OK MY LOVE,ALL I KNOW IS THAT WE MUST BE TOGETHER AND NOTHING ANY PERSON WILL DO OK,AND PLEASE MY LOVE I NEED ONLY YOUR NEW PICTURES NOW OK LIKE 4 OR 5 OK MY LOVE I KNOW HOW YOU FEEL OK,AND I WAS TELLING ABOUT YOUR TRADITION PLEASE MY LOVE I UNDERSTAND OK BUT THAT IS NOT THE ISSUER OK,SO PLEASE ALL WILL MAKE OUR LOVE TO SWEET IS FROM BOOT OF US OK,SO PLEASE WE ARE GOING TO HAVE OUR WEEDING OK IS NOT PROBLEM WE ARE GOING TO US IT AND DO OK MY LOVE SO PLEASE ONCE AGING FORGET AND FORGIVE ME OK MY LOVE,

AND DON'T FORGET TO GET ME THE LAPTOP I ASK YOU AND YOU ALSO PROMISE ME THAT YOU WILL BRING TO ME OK MY LOVE,
HOPE YOU ARE OK NOW AND YOU ARE HAPPY TO ME,SO PLEASE MY LOVE CAME YOUR SELF DOW OK,
I AM NOT ANGRY WITH YOU ANY MORE OK MY LOVE,
YOURS LOVELY ONE,
PRINCE LAD

Nicely puckered, lad!!! Shocked

Though I think I'll let him stew for a bit

Posted: Fri Mar 30, 2012 4:39 am

Lad gets back to me:

Quote:

HI HONEY HOW ARE YOU DOING,
PLEASE WERE ARE YOU AND WHAT HAPPEN THAT MAKES YOU NOT TO CALL ME,PLEASE MY LOVE I NEED TO HEAR FROM YOU AND KNOW HOW YOU ARE OK,
OR ARE YOU ANGRY ON ME,PLEASE DON'T BE ANGRY ON ME OK YOU KNOW AM YOUR HUSBAND OK,SO DON'T BE OK,
YOURS LOVELY ONE,
PRINCE LAD

I send this back, it's such nice day here in RL, I decide to be very brief:

Quote:

Lad,

As you are no doubt aware I am still upset with you. Though Sabrina has managed to convince me NOT to cancel the trip, as she knows how long I've wanted to visit the African Continent, so my ticket remains confirmed to Benin for early May.

I will consider your request for a laptop, but if I do purchase one, it will be there. I do not wish to carry too much luggage, and will hopefully have a bit of a shopping spree while I am in Cotonou. You and sabrina can talk about make and model of labtop, technology confuses me.

Ditz

Posted: Sun Apr 01, 2012 5:14 am

I've said it before and I say it again... You GOTTA love a lad that works weekends. I get no less than five emails from him, four them this morning. I suspect more than one will have the same thing on it.

email one:

Quote:

Hi Honey how are you doing today my dear sweetheart,
i am very happy to read your mail once aging and seeing my self in another world honey means that God has made a nice place to us to be together honey,means that i really love you and promise to be with you for ever my love ok,

please aging i use the name of God to beg you that you should forgive me aging ok let us leave together with pace and joy and also love each other ok my love, you are only one in my life and in my heart and soul i know with you my love i will be always happy and joy so my love please give me all you love and kindness and also your body will be mine,and hope my soul will be with you my dear sweetheart,

please the type of laptop i need is HP LAPTOP ok my love don't forget it if you buy it the scan it and sent it to me the picture so that i will see it ok,and secondly my love i need some of your pictures now ok so that i will hold it now ok my really wife,
waiting to hear from you aging and let The Almighty God Be with you forever and ever,and let God give us ever lasting love and happiness and full of understanding ok my love,
yours lovely one,
PRINCE LAD

THREE of them are exactly the same thing, which is below. I'll tear him a new one momentarily:

Quote:

HI MY SWEETHEART HOW ARE YOU DOING,
I WANT TO KNOW WHY I HAVE NOT HEAR FROM YOU WHAT HAPPEN OK ,
I MISS YOU MY WIFE WHAT HAPPEN I NEED THE PICTURE I ASK YOU OK MY LOVE,
YOURS LAD,

I get back to lad. after uploading a couple of newish pics (including an AWESOME caricature of Internationalchrysis I found at deviantart), I send this back to the lad:

Quote:

Lad,

Why did you send me four emails of exactly the same thing??? I do not understand what is meant by that! I am not deaf, and last time I checked I could read, so there is no need to repeat yourself.

I understand your request for a labtop, and as I said you will speak to Sabrina about it. She knows MUCH more than I do on the topic. And we will buy it there, I have no wish to carry too much luggage to another country, though I hope to bring a lot home with me. I have spoken to Sabrina and she says she will help you get whatever you need, which is a comfort, as I barely understand how the labtop I have works. I asked her what is a HP, and she tells me not to worry about it. Sabrina says HP "sucks balls", whatever that means, and the only real labtop is Alienware. I do not know what this means, but since her labtop has aliens all over it I suspect she knows better than I do. Sabrina will tell me what you two have come up with, otherwise I will not buy anything at all. I'd rather buy nothing than a labtop that does not do what you want it to.

And as for my pictures, why do you keep asking for them? I have plenty on my facebook account, I will not hear of this matter again.

Ditz

Posted: Mon Apr 02, 2012 6:55 am

Whiny sack of crap gets back to me, with the same message TWICE:

Quote:

HI HONEY ,
HOW ARE YOU DOING,
I HAVE READ YOUR MAILAND UNDERSTAND YOU WILL TOO,FOR YOUR INFORMATION YOU KNOW MY CONDITION OVER HERE WHICH NO BODY WILL TELL YOU,FOR OUR WEEDING I HAVE GET A NICE RING FOR OUR WEEDING AND SCONDLY FOR YOUR STATEMENT SAYING THAT YOU DONT WANT TO HERE THIS MATTER AGING,

CONCERN YOUR PICTURES I AM ASKING YOU,
LISTING DEAR I DONT UNDERSTAND YOU IN THIS WEEDING OK,HOW CAN YOU MARRY SOME ONE ONLY ON PICTURE ON FACE BOOK,WITHOUT SEEING THAT PERSON ON CAM,LISTING MY DEAR, I WANT TO SEE YOUR LETEST PICTURES OR TO SEE YOU ON CAM,TELLING SABRINA SAID THAT THIS AND THAT SHE WILL HELP ME AND BUY ENY THING AFTER SULTING ME ,

MY DEAR IS NOT EXCUSE OK,WHY SABRINA DONT WANT ME TO CALL HER ON PHONE AND EVIN TO HAVE YOUR PERSONAL CELL NUMBER,SINCE SABRINA DONT WANT YOU TO USE HER PHONE TO CALL ME THEN WHY CANT YOU GO TO PHONE BOOT TO CALL ME,YES I GET ANGRY YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU WILL CALL OFF OUR WEEDING AND YOUR FLYT THEN I AM ASKING YOU WHICH PHONE ARE YOU GOING TO USE AND CALLED THEM,

AND YOU DONT WANT TO USE THAT PHONE TO CALL YOUR HUSBAND,
LISTING HONEY IF YOU KNOW YOU LOVE ME DO WHAT I TOLD YOU OK,
THANKS AND GOD BLESS YOU,
YOURS LOVELY ONE,
PRINCE LAD
<snipped phone number>

I was already in a bad mood, sack of crap is going to cop a serious PASTING! Then I have a brainwave. I may have overplayed my hand, but I fire up one of my other baiter accounts and write to the Ditz, which I then forward to the lad:

Quote:

Dear Ditz,

I must say I was surprised to hear from you, as it has been several
weeks since I wrote to you via 4ppl.com. But better late than never I
s'pose.

What can I tell you that you don't already know. Well, I work as an IT
guy for a company called Revron technologies, the money's great but the
hours could do with a bit of work. I'm 32 years old (that's not too
young for you is it?), but am settling down now, after many years of
singing lead vocals in a heavy metal band. We were quite successful in
Europe, particularly in Germany, and when I found out you were FROM
Germany, I felt I had to write to you. you said you were from
Urolagnia? I played a few gigs there back in the early noughties, did
you ever go to the "Goldene Duschen" nightclub? We had some of our best
gigs there!

Kathrin muss ich sagen, du bist unglaublich schön, und jeder Mann würde
sich glücklich schätzen, Sie haben! Sie sagen, Sie sind nicht "technisch
versierten", aber das ist ok, kann ich Ihnen beibringen, was Sie wissen
müssen!

I look forward to your next email with great anticipation, I have
attached a pic of me that you asked for, the ones you have on facebook
are sensational!

Chris

Then, under the subject heading of "Why did you give me a non working phone number", I send him this little note:

Quote:

Emeka,

I must say that I am not impressed. You give me a phone number and DEMAND that I ring it. And when I do it does not WORK! I rang it seven times and I got nothing, not even an engaged signal! Well MR MAN, I am tired of you playing games with my head.

And AGAIN, you go on about this cam thing, without telling me what a cam is! I asked Sabrina and all she said was it was short for a webcam, and when I asked what that was, she simply sighed and said to ask you, since you are the one who keeps going on about it.

I do not understand, we MET on Facebook, how can you NOT see my pictures? I checked and you are on my facebook friends list. I think it is more likely that you simply cannot be bothered to see them, and then for reasons I do not understand blame this on me. I am so tired of you whining about this when all it would take would be a quick visit to facebook. Did you even bother to look at the website link I sent you? I now suspect not! I was planning on us getting rings made in Benin, since we will be there for a long time, and it would be nice to help out local jewelers, but now since you tell me off in the same manner that Nick did, maybe Sabrina was right and you are just a jerk!

Sabrina points out you have not written to her like I requested about the labtop, why do you not? I am happy to purchase one once I arrive in Africa, but I need to know what to purchase. I do not what a "hp" is, and Sabrina says they are "shit" anyway, and then starts rabbiting off technical specifications for something called alienware and looks at me like I should understand what on earth she is talking about. And you not writing to her just makes me upset. You know what! I think it's time I found a real man! I have taken Sabrina's advice and have started writing back to some of the other people who have written to me via 4ppl.com. They do not seem to have the difficulties you do, and at least one of them even speaks German!

Emeka, I love you so much but I cannot deal with this anymore. I ask for explanations, and you just give me orders. I think I will write back to the man with the computer skills, he seems cute.

Ditz

ETA... I checked the Ditz's farcebook account from my RL account (which aren't linked). You CAN see the photos!

Posted: Tue Apr 03, 2012 3:56 am

Lad pays a visit to Farcebook, and asks which person in the Internationalchrysis groupshot is "me"... I respond (on farcebook of course):

Quote:

Lad: hi honey which one in your face over here honey please send it to me ok,i real love you my wife and i promise to give you joy always ok my love

The Ditz: Silly billy, I am on the far left, in the "sexy" hat Wink

He is infact responding to this group shot of the 70's performance troupe, "Hot peaches", taken here in their 80's comeback performance:

He also sends this, telling me the ditz should think for herself. Part of the reason she IS the Ditz is that so she can't. NOBODY can be as stupid as the Ditz, it's part of her charm: Wink

Quote:

HI MY DEAR LOVELY ON IN MY LIFE,
YES I ACKNOWLEDGE YOUR MAIL AND VERY VERY UNDERSTOOD IT ,
HONEY I HAVE TO ASK YOU ONE THING MEANS DO YOU REALLY LOVE ME OR DO YOU REALLY MARRY ME,DO YOU TAKE ME AS YOUR HUSBAND,

HONEY ONLY ONE WORLD YOU MAKE HERE TOUCH ME ,THAT YOU REALLY LOVE ME SO MUCH AND I DO MORE THAN YOU,LISTING MY DEAR ONE YOU HAVE TO LISTING TO ME NOW,

HONEY YOU ARE MY WIFE AND I AM YOUR HUSBAND NOTHING ANY BODY WILL SAID OR CONFUSE YOU AND ADVICE YOU TO DO SO FAR OUR GOD WHO CREATED HEAVEN AND EARTH HAS SIGN US IN NO ONE WILL SIGN US OUT OK,HONEY YOU DON'T WORRY AND I KNOW IS HOW IT WILL BE WHEN GOD IS JOINING TWO PARTNER TOGETHER ENEMIES WILL STARTED THE WORK BUT ALL I KNOW IS THAT WE ARE HUSBAND AND WIFE OK,

AND ONCE AGING MY LOVE IS NOT ALL THE SABRINA ADVICE YOU WILL OK AS A MATURED PERSON YOU ARE MY WIFE YOU HAVE TO HAVE YOU OWN DECISION OK AND STOP TAKING SOME PEOPLE ADVICE TO AVOID SPOILED YOUR MARRIAGE OK MY DEAR ONE,YES MY DEAR ASKING YOU THIS QUESTION OF CALLING ME OR SENDING ME YOUR PICTURES HONEY IS NOT A BAD QUESTION OK MY LOVE,PLEASE DON'T TAKE IT DIFFICULT TO UNDERSTAND ME OK,

PLEASE MY DEAR DON'T CHANGE YOUR MIND ON ME ,IF YOU DO MY DEAR LOVE I WANT TO LET YOU KNOW THAT I AM THE RIGHT PERSON TO YOU AT THE RIGHT TIME GOD HAS GIVE YOU YOUR JOY AND HAPPINESS AND A PERSON THAT WILL BE GIVE YOU ALL THE LOVE YOU NEED IN THIS WORLD,AS I TOLD YOU EARLIER THAT I HAVE NOT BE IN ANY RELATIONSHIP AND I HAVE NO KIDS WHICH GOD PUT US TOGETHER AND I DON'T THINK WE WILL ALLOWED SOME ONE TO PUT HIS ASUNDER IN OUR MARRIAGE OR IN OUR WEEDING,

HONEY YOU ARE MY WIFE AND THAT IS ALL I HAVE TO LET YOU KNOW ABOUT IT AND NO ONE IN MY HEAR AND NO ONE IN MY LIFE HONEY,
I CANT WAIT TO BE WITH YOU I REAL LOVE YOU MY DEAR DITZ,
AND NOTHING WILL STOP ME FOR LOVING YOU MY WIFE,

YOURS LOVELY GUY PRINCE LAD,I KISSSSS YOU AND HUG YOU MY WIFE,

More soon. Still no word to Sabrina... Wink

Posted: Wed Apr 04, 2012 1:42 am

I get this from the Lad via farcebook. Seems the lad likes the photo I posted a few posts above, thinking they're my family!:

Quote:

ok honey now i can see your family now i miss you so much mu sweetheart

More soon (ie, as soon as I work out where the hell I"m going with this one) Wink

Posted: Thu Apr 05, 2012 7:32 am

Lad FINALLY twigs I'm writing to someone else:

Quote:

HI HONEY,
HOW ARE YOU DOING OVER THERE,
PLEASE MY DEAR I WANT TO KNOW YOUR MIND IF YOU HAVE MADE UP YOUR MIND TO ANOTHER MAN ,ALL I KNOW IS THAT I AM WAITING TO HAVE YOU IN MY LIFE HONEY,TELL ME WHAT HAVE I DONT TO YOU,
THANKS AND GOD BLESS YOU,
YOURS LOVELY ONE,
PRINCE LAD

I think I know where I'm about to head. Lad gets an email alright, but NOT from the Ditz. Seems she doesn't know it yet, but the ditz is talking to another lad, who can't wait to rub our Lad's face in it! Under the subject heading of "I got your bitch now small boi", I send him this:

Quote:

So Lad,

I have your woman writing to me now. She's offered to pay for me to go to Benin, and I've accepted. And why? 'Cos that's where I'm, really from. That stupid cow thinks I'm in Australia with her, but I'm not, and I'm gonna chop your dolla big time. You're too scared to travel to Benin, because as they local lingo says, "you jus'a small boi!"

My english is better than yours, my German is better than yours and I don't have to do a damn thing! She's already offered the same things you were offered and by the time she gets to Benin, I have the means to fleece that bitch for every cent she's got!

And she trusts me, what you gonna do? Tell on me?

Small Boi!

Chris

Let's see what he makes of that! Wink

Posted: Fri Apr 06, 2012 2:16 pm

internationalchrysis wrote:

what you gonna do? Tell on me?

That's EXACTLY what he does! I get this with a copy of the original message from Chris:

Quote:

HI HONEY I AM VERY HAPPY TO KNOW ALL YOUR PLAN ON ME,AND ALL THE INSULT I AM GETTING FROM PEOPLE I DON'T KNOW IS FROM YOU.THANKS AND LET GOD JUDGE US, SEE WHAT YOUR HUSBAND WRIGHT TO ME,

THANKS MY DEAR HONEY,ALL I KNOW IS THAT WHAT EVER HAPPEN IS NOT MY FUT ,I LOVE YOU MY KATRIN,

YOURS ONE PRINCE LAD

Fake lad writes to real lad:

Quote:

Lad,

I musty say nice try, trying to Ditz small boi! But via a computer program called Anomalous Alternating Emission software that I purchased from the Gomerbois a year or two back, I've hacked into Ditz's account and anything I feel might threaten my payday gets re-routed to me instead!

Ditz didn't get your message and neither her or her niece Sabrina has any idea of this conversation!

To put it bluntly so even a simpleton such as yourself will understand, I'm a guyman just like you! I'm in Africa just like you. I want a payday just like you.

But unlike you, I'm much better resourced and fully intend to steal your payday away from you!

One love,

Chris

ETA... The ditz sends this back a few hours later:

Quote:

Lad,

It's not what you have done, it's what you HAVEN'T done. You haven't confirmed that you are travelling to Benin to meet me in May, You tell me off for things I do not even understand, such as the two dots and you STILL haven't written to Sabrina about the labtop.

Don't get me wrong, I love you and want to be with you, but I find you so confusing. Chris is nice, but there's something about him that's not quite right, I do not know what yet

Ditz

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