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 Natalya, Yuliya & the deformed freak

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Poll :: Entertaining?

Yes
100%
 100%  [ 4 ]
No
0%
 0%  [ 0 ]
Total Votes : 4


Author Message
Consummate Bedwetter
Hello I'm New here!


Joined: 09 Jan 2012
Posts: 4
Location: A big rock off the coast of France.


PostPosted: Mon Jan 09, 2012 10:36 am Reply with quoteBack to top

Hi all.

I've recently been having a little fun with a love scammer & thought I'd post the letters on here for your amusement. The IP is in Ohio USA, but they initially purport to be a Russian named Natalya, before changing their name to Yuliya. Below are the two messages received & my replies.


28/12/2011

From: [email protected]([email protected])

Hello my new dear friend! Smile)))

Hope you have a good day and my messeg makes it even better Smile)
My name Natalya, I live in RUSSIA. I am 27. I seen your profile on the
dating site. I am found for a SERIOUS and LONG-TERM RELATIONSHIP
ONLY, and I hope that you are found for the same. I work, like sport
a lot, love to cook. My friends say, I am romantic and very positive.
Hope this is true Smile) I just want to say, if you are not found for a
serious relationship, don't write me back please, as I don't want to
waste neither my nor your time. I speak fluent English, so our possibe
communication would not be a problem for you and me. I think we can
talk over the phone some day. I am seeking for a man, I will be able
to give all my love, care and share my life with.
My email address: [email protected].
I hope to hear from you soon if we are looking for the same and wish
you have a good day.

Natalya Russian


--------------------


Reply on 29/12/2011

Hello Natalya,

My day was rather bleak actually, filled with nothing but painful bathroom visits & crippling bouts of self-loathing, but your rainbow-tinted letter has perked up my mood considerably.

I see from your picture that you're very beautiful. I cannot say the same about myself I'm afraid. I was hideously disfigured in a freak bowling accident a number of years ago. Since then, due to my disgusting appearance, my wife has left me, my children no longer look at me & my friends refuse to be seen in public with me unless I'm wearing a burka.

You say that you like to cook, which is fabulous news, as I'm a ravenous blob incapable of preparing meals for myself. We're a match made in heaven.

I still feel like a have a lot of love to give though, Natalya, so if you think that you could give your love to an amorphous ball of skin & hair, then perhaps we might forge a future together. After being put back together my internal & external organs were arranged in a somewhat unorthodox manner; meaning that physical relations would be difficult, but not impossible. I still have a voracious sexual appetite & have invented a sling/pulley system to allow me to vigorously pursue the pleasures of the flesh. You wouldn't be disappointed my stunning young devotchka.

I'm very serious about a long-term relationship, Natalya, but as well as my previously described problems, I also happen to be heart-breakingly penniless. Do you have it in your heart to love, cherish, nurse & financially provide for a repulsive offence against nature who you've never even met? If so, you could just be my saintly Slavic saviour.

I have nothing else going on in my pathetic existence, so I eagerly await your reply.

Yours desperately,

Ian.


--------------------


03/01/2012

From: [email protected]([email protected])

Hello Ian!!!

Nice to "meet" you. Hope you are well. I saw your profile and liked
it, I would like to get to know each other better. Will tell you more
about myself. First of all my name is Yuliya, I am single, and have no
kids, I have never been married. I work in a retail trade, as a manager's
assistance. My age is 27, was born 29 August.

I live in Russia, in the city Biysk. This the first time I try to use
this online dating stuff. I want to see how it works, and hopefully to
meet someone special, may be a man who will be my fate... who knows? I
know, all this on-line dating stuff is very popular nowadays, so I
think it is my turn to try Smile)))

Well... will not talk a lot, think it is enough for the first time,
hope to hear from you soon, I also think, that it is interesting to
talk with a person of another nationality and culture. I send you
couple of pics, hope you like them.

Have a good day, bye:))

Natalya


--------------------


Reply on 05/01/2012



Greetings Yuliya,

Thank you from the bottom of my transplanted pig-heart for your kind & romantically inspiring message. Imagine my erotic surprise, whilst corresponding with a beautiful Russian temptress, to discover that Natalya has an identical twin sister who is also lustfully longing for l’amore. I must admit that, given my grotesque physical condition, I’m surprised to be attracting the attention of just one stunning young woman, let alone a second. And twins too! I believe I’ve either won first prize in the fickle karmic lottery, or else departed from this mortal existence to engage in a divine ménage-à-trios in the after-life. If I witness Jesus carrying a tub of lube at some point, I’ll know exactly which.

Something about your combined love interest puzzles me, though. In case you were unaware, it can be nigh on impossible to find a willing love interest when you’re a catastrophically deformed abomination. So to encounter two gorgeous individuals with the same bizarre (yet fortuitous for yours truly) fetish, who also happen to be related, leads me to question something about your shared formative years. Were you encouraged to ritualistically mutilate livestock as children? Did you witness firsthand the unholy communion betwixt man & walrus? Or was a close family member involved in a ghastly misadventure which left them more approximating a marinara covered meatball than a human being?

Well, whatever the reason for your mutual attraction to malformed, repugnant freaks, who am I to look a Siberian gift-horse in the mouth. Actually, as both yourself & Natalya mentioned happening upon me via my online dating profile, it’s only prudent & polite that I should communicate my gratitude to www.deformedamputeedating.com immediately. They’re the only site with which I ever registered & I’d actually given up on hearing anything, despite them promising to furnish me with a steady stream of carnally dysfunctional paramours. I guess sexually-twisted Slavic princesses are similar to buses; you wait a lifetime for one to come along, only for two to show up together & all you want them to do is steamroll your genitals.

I’m allowing myself the luxury of imagining the life that the three of us might enjoy together, & I must admit to experiencing a certain amount of ugly, crippled arousal. The two of you could organise a rota to share my basic day-to-day care needs & I would, in turn, openly share my bed with you both; intensely servicing your libidinous urges in an unsightly blur of mottled flesh & tears. My disabilities, while obviously a hindrance, would ultimately prove merely a spur in my motivation to take you to the slobbering heights of sexual ecstasy. Sure, there would be a certain amount of loose bile & ape-like grunting, but I promise not to let that put me off my stroke. Just so long as I’m helped on or off the hoisting equipment at will & allowed regular drainage breaks.

If I may be serious for a second, I’ve reached the conclusion that it would probably be for the best if you personally took control of organising the household duties, with you evidently being the more intellectually capable member of your family. The stark differences between the letters of yourself & Natalya bear testament to that fact. The paragraph structure, spelling & correct use of tenses & perspectives, along with your casual use of informal colloquialisms, all point to you being far more advanced in the English language than your simple-minded sibling. Was she dropped on the head as a child? Do you happen to be both sisters and cousins? Did your pregnant mother have an addiction to fermented goulash? If it weren’t for your striking similarity, I’d assume she was the product of a union between a human being & a potted plant.

No matter. The oil of one’s canvas needn’t enrich the soul, only stir the loins. Besides, every man & his dog know that an idiot savant can prove to be the most enthusiastic & obedient bed-warmer a gentleman can acquire in this world. I shall take my leave at this juncture, Yuliya, & bid you farewell. Blood is pooling in my lower folds of skin & I must move, or at least wobble, for at least half an hour to avoid deep vein thrombosis in what’s left of my scrotum. I await your response with musty, baited breath.

Yours Salaciously,

Ian.
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Slightlyoutofit
Baiting Guru


Joined: 13 Feb 2007
Posts: 14310
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PostPosted: Mon Jan 09, 2012 12:15 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Welcome to Eater. Wink
Unfortunately, your lad is still on script and probably isn't reading your replies yet. You need to get him off-script so that he has to read and then you can hit him with the whackiness. Try and keep it short and sweet to begin with and then gradually wind them up.

BTW, I must admit that I voted yes before actually reading your posts. Purely based on the fact that you chose a pretty awesome forum name.

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PostPosted: Mon Jan 09, 2012 12:31 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

As SOOI says, your lad is still on script at the moment, so you are actually wasting more of your time with the lengthy replies than you are of the lads (unless you are using Gmail's canned responses to produce them repeatedly for different scammers).

I've had lengthy (2 to 3 page) emails from vlads and just replied with "that's nice" and still got the next email in the format.

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Consummate Bedwetter
Hello I'm New here!


Joined: 09 Jan 2012
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Location: A big rock off the coast of France.


PostPosted: Mon Jan 09, 2012 10:15 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Ah, really? I'm extremely new to this, as you can no doubt tell. In fact, I wasn't even aware that scambaiting existed until the other day. I wrote my replies above, posted them to Facebook & a friend sent me here.

I'll just resend when they're reading them then. Would be a shame for them to go to waste. My friends seem to get a kick out of it though. Smile
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PostPosted: Mon Jan 09, 2012 10:19 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Welcome to the wonderful world of romance baiting! If you haven't signed up for a mentor yet, please do. You will know they are honest when they ask for payment by Western Union!

Have fun, bait safe and get comfortable with your character(s)!

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Consummate Bedwetter
Hello I'm New here!


Joined: 09 Jan 2012
Posts: 4
Location: A big rock off the coast of France.


PostPosted: Mon Jan 09, 2012 10:34 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

A mentor? If there's suitable amounts of innuendo involved with having a 'mentor', then count me in. Wink

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PostPosted: Tue Jan 10, 2012 11:23 am Reply with quoteBack to top

^ Welcome Consumate!

As for innuendo? You don't get to choose your mentor so you'll have to put yourself entirely in their hands. Wink

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Consummate Bedwetter
Hello I'm New here!


Joined: 09 Jan 2012
Posts: 4
Location: A big rock off the coast of France.


PostPosted: Tue Jan 10, 2012 1:39 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

"you'll have to put yourself entirely in their hands"

Giggidy.

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