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I have been baiting this lad for a few weeks now, and using the "donations can only be paid to members" ploy I sent him our ministry application form. Much credit to Fanny Leaf as the form itself is a blatant cut & paste of the one he produced on an earlier published bait.
(Check out the answer to No 28 - spooky)
The lad also sent me a pretty good airway bill for the mysterious trunks!
I am so excited, God is indeed smiling on me and my ministry at the moment - first I meet, purely by chance a fellow brother such as yourself with a great offer for us all.
Sorry, did I get carried away there ! Back to business I suppose - I have attached the ministry membership form. Unfortunately it is fairly detailed and quite personal in places but the board of trustees insist on this level of detail. We are a very exclusive ministry and we intend to stay that way.
I cannot personally process the form because I have recommended you for acceptance therefore you must send the completed form to the ministry administrator, Mr Fletcher.
His email is You could also fax it to the ministry on 44-871-xxx-1000 . Norman is a close friend of mine so your acceptance is guaranteed but we must be seen to be going through the appropriate motions.
Although I will be away travelling from next week please keep in touch as I will find a way to access my email. Otherwise Mr Fletcher should be able to answer any questions about the membership you may have. Naturally the transaction between ourselves is strictly private and he has no knowledge of that.
PS. I would like to send you a gift of some sort to thank you for offering me this business chance. Is that custom acceptable in your country - pardon my ignorance.
The reply(after a bit of squirming)
Dear Brother Norman,
Thank you for your email, it was so nice to see your reply.
I have attached the membership form with answers to the questions
and i thank you for the assurance that i will be accepted by your ministry.
I and my family are doing great, and we give thanks to the Lord.
Take care of yourself and say me well to your family.
The questions for part two are:
Provide answers to the following questions on additional sheets of paper.
1.) What are your impressions of The Holy Bible?
2.) What do you expect to accomplish through membership in this ministry?
3.) If you were granted three wishes, what would they be?
4.) What is your attitude toward animals? If you have any pets describe them. What is your ideal?
5.) Are you satisfied with your sex life? Describe your ideal of a physically attractive sex partner.
6.) What is your life's goal, and what steps have you taken to attain it?
7.) Do you find any of our tenets objectionable? If so, which and why?
8.) How many years would you like to live?
9.) What are your musical tastes? Provide examples.
10.) Cite four motion pictures you consider your favourites, and why.
11.) What are your food preferences?
12.) Cite four books you consider favourites, and why.
13.) If you own an automobile, describe it. What is your ideal automobile?
14.) As a child, what were your favourite pastimes? What was your disposition?
15.) Of which country other than the one in which you now reside would you prefer being a resident?
16.) In what type of dwelling do you live? Describe your ideal home.
17.) Describe your political philosophy.
18.) What is your personal definition of magic?
19.) Do you feel oppressed or persecuted in any way? If so, explain.
20.) Are you self-sufficient or are you most productive in a group?
21.) Do you make friends easily if you so choose?
22.) What is more important to you, self-satisfaction or approval from others?
23.) Would you rather influence or be influenced?
24.) Do you feel you have leadership abilities?
25.) Do you consider yourself a good judge of character?
26.) In what organizations do you hold membership?
27.) Have you possessed or used illegal drugs? If so, explain in full.
28.) Describe a significant experience in your life bordering on what you would consider the paranormal or demonic, if any.
29.) What forms of entertainment do you prefer?
30.) Tell one of your favourite jokes.
31.) Have you served in the armed forces? If so, provide pertinent data.
32.) How long did it take you to join the Ministry Of Our Great Universe?
33.) Are you a smoker? If so, to what how often and what brand ?
34.) Have you accomplished anything important or significant? If so, what?
35.) Which parent do you admire most and why?
36.) Do you drink alcoholic beverages? If so, to what brands- State preferences.
37.) Do you have any tangible services or resources which you would care to contribute?
38.) Are you free to travel? To what extent?
39.) Do you agree to pay the £10 annual membership fee in advance?
40.) Provide your signature attesting to the above, and enclose photograph.
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