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 Robert Mark meets the FLB - warning some NSFW language

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B8er
boomdazzler


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PostPosted: Mon Dec 12, 2011 2:33 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

The Cast

Robert Mark played by the Lad
Ziege played by me
The F3deral Lending B0ard (FLB) played by me
The EFCC played by the Lad

The FLB is back causing havoc amongst loan lads - I emailed a load of loan lads asking them to send me a copy of their Lender's Licence. Most of them did't reply, Robert Mark is one of the unfortunate (for him) ones who did.

Robert Mark sends out his loan format

Quote:

Hello ,

My Greetings to you in the name of God,I receive your mail and
i am ready to help you since you are in need of help. I want you to
fill and return the form bellow so that i can send you my Terms and
Condition Asap.

Your have come to the right place were you get your Financial
freedom,You will be glad of knowing a loan lender like Mrs Betty
because i will make you smile and be happy.

LOAN APPLICATION FORM

1)Full Names:
2)Country:
3)address:
4)State :
5)Sex:
6)Age:
7)Marital Status:
8)Occupation: :
9)Phone Number:
10)Currently position in place of work:
11)Monthly income:
12)Next of Kin:
13)Loan Amount Needed:
14)Loan Duration yrs:
15)Purpose of Loan:
16)Religion:

As soon as you fill the form and return it, I will send you my loan
terms and condition in other for us to proceed further in this
transaction.

Thanks and God Bless,

Mrs Robert Mark.


Ziege replies
Quote:

Hi,

Are you authorised to offer loans to residents of Switzerland?

Thanks


Mrs Robert Mark replies 4 times to confirm he can offer the loan
Quote:

Hello,

YES I CAN OFFER LOAN TO ANY PERSONS, BUT FIRST YOU ARE TO FILL THE
APPLICATION FORM BELOW BEFORE I CAN PROCEED WITH YOU OKAY..

LOAN APPLICATION FORM

1)Full Names:
2)Country:
3)address:
4)State :
5)Sex:
6)Age:
7)Marital Status:
8)Occupation: :
9)Phone Number:
10)Currently position in place of work:
11)Monthly income:
12)Next of Kin:
13)Loan Amount Needed:
14)Loan Duration yrs:
15)Purpose of Loan:
16)Religion:

As soon as you fill the form and return it, I will send you my loan
terms and condition in other for us to proceed further in this
transaction.

Thanks and God Bless,

MRS ROBERT MARK..


Ziege wants more proof
Quote:

Thank you for your email, I am happy to hear that you are authorised to lend money in Switzerland.

I am in urgent need of a business loan.

However, before I provide my details, I would be grateful if you could send me a copy of your Swiss L3nders L1cence.

Many thanks


Mr Robert Mark (yes he appears to have had a sex change) replies 4 times again, with some fake credentials
Quote:

LOAN APPLICATION FORM

1)Full Names:
2)Country:
3)address:
4)State :
5)Sex:
6)Age:
7)Marital Status:
8)Occupation: :
9)Phone Number:
10)Currently position in place of work:
11)Monthly income:
12)Next of Kin:
13)Loan Amount Needed:
14)Loan Duration yrs:
15)Purpose of Loan:
16)Religion:

As soon as you fill the form and return it, I will send you my loan
terms and condition in other for us to proceed further in this
transaction.

Thanks and God Bless,

Mr ROBERT MARK..


Image
Image

Ziege is not impressed
Quote:

While your certificate is very pretty, it is not what I asked for.

Please send me your Swiss L3nders L1cence as issued by the F3deral Lending Board.


Robert Mark replies twice
Quote:

Hello,

Have you see the license you want ?..

Do you really need this loan


And another reply with yet another fake certificate
Quote:

good day to you.

this is the document you asked for .
reply now.


Image

Ziege is still not impressed
Quote:

While your new certificate is also very pretty, it is still not what I asked for.

Please send me your Swiss Lenders Licence as issued by the Federal Lending Board.


And another reply from Mr Mark
Quote:

sorry, i cannot proceed with you with out fill the loan application form.. fill the form and then i will give you what you want ok..


Ziege is not budging, he wants his licence
Quote:

Sorry it doesn't work that way. I am not providing my details to a firm that is clearly not authorised to give me a loan.

Either provide me with a copy of your Swiss L3nders Licence (if you have one) or I will pass all your emails to the F3deral Lending Board and report you for suspected unauthorised lending.


Robert Mark seems to want to be reported
Quote:
i will like you to fill the form or you report me so that you can now the lender you are dealing with.


Ziege gives him the good news
Quote:

I reported you to the Federal LEnding Board yesterday, I am sure you will hear from them shortly.


Robert Mark doesn't appear to understand what being reported means
Quote:

Hello,

Please act fast and reporting me so that you can now fill the
application form to proceed after you have reported me..


The FLB write to Robert Mark about his illegal activities
Quote:

Dear Sir,

We have received a report from a resident of Switzerland that you are attempting to offer loans to residents of Switzerland.

I have reviewed our register of registered lenders, and your details do not appear on it. I would remind you that it is a federal offence punishable by up to 10 years in a federal penetantiary, for unregistered lenders to offer loans to residents of Switzerland.

Not only that, but the complainant has forwarded the attached certificate to us, which you claim is your Swiss L3nders Licence. This is clearly a fraudulant attempt to scam the individual who passed us your details.

Please note that your details have been placed on the register of unlicenced lenders and as you appear to be based in Nigeria, we will be forwarding copies of all the information that has been passed to us to the EFCC for them to investigate your fraud and misrepresentation.

If you feel that there has been some sort of error, please provide details of your registration and an explanation for the fake certificate.

Yours faithfully


Kurt Lagerme1ster
Head of Compliance


Robert Mark (not being all there) forwards the FLB's email to Zeige, just changing the subject to say "Mr Robert Mark Is Not A Scam Ok.. Email Him NOw.."

Ziege is not impressed by this master stroke of scamming (imagine the insults in CAPS in a large red font)
Quote:

You really must be an IDIOT. You are forwarding me a copy of the Federal Lending Board's investigation into you that highlights that you are unauthorised, yet you have changed the subject to make it look like you are authorised. What a SMALL LOSER BOY you are.


Robert Mark is going to complain to the EFCC (he must be worried he's gone ALL CAPS on me)
Quote:

HELLO,


I AM GOING TO FORWARD YOUR EMAIL TO THE EFCC NOW TO INVESTIGATE,

HOW DARE YOU CALLED AN IDIOT YOU MUST SPEND YOU OLD LIFE IN
PRISON..ONTIL YOUR DEATH COME..


Ziege is not impressed with the threat (more large red CAPS)
Quote:

As I understand it you GOAT FUCKING SMALL BOY IDIOT you are the one who is going to be investigated by the EFCC.

The EFCC have no effect on me as I am in Switzerland and they are a Nigerian organisation.


Oh look, the EFCC are contacting Ziege
Quote:

Hello,

This is a warning email to you, you are about to be scam by a scam
who claimed to be a loanlender so all you have to do is for you to
stop email him, and we have got some of them through our investigation
so if you need a loan email [email protected] he is the
only one we can trust and if he ask you to pay for any fee, try and
pay the fee he ask you to pay because he is a really loanlender. If
you find any other person that ask you if you need a loan tell him no,
and send us the person email so that we can investigate on it ok,


Get Wise with EFCC.
Say no to scam.


Ziege is not impressed (more large red CAPS)
Quote:

Do you think I'm stupid you GOAT FUCKING SMALL BOY IDIOT. You are not the EFCC, you are Mr Robert Mark trying to be clever. I have already had confirmation from the Federal Lending Board in my country that Mr Robart W*NKER Mark is not authorised to provide loans in Switzerland. I think I will send this email to the Federal Lending Board as well, as I know they are referring their files to the real EFCC.


Robert Mark replies
Quote:

fuck you then dey will look for you and get you..i will pay for the
searching on til they find you.


Ziege is getting a bit childish now (large red CAPS again)
Quote:

GOAT FUCKER
GOAT FUCKER
GOAT FUCKER


And with that Robert Mark appears to have given up

_________________
verry soon you obituary will be anoused. you dont know those guys are mafians and they are now after you . mumu. rest in peace
"I DENOUNCE THE MUFFIN MEN" - Ma Kim
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