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 Hell Safari – Edo State, Nigeria - Ghana, Benin & Kano

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The Monsignor
Risky Free


Joined: 08 Nov 2006
Posts: 2138
Location: St Michael's Chapel, Rame Head


PostPosted: Fri Oct 14, 2011 6:15 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

For me, one of the most enjoyable effects of a Safari is walking my dog through the countryside in the autumn sunshine, knowing that meanwhile, some heartless criminal is suffering, stranded, penniless, and hungry in a strange country.

I picked up ‘Randy’ in surplus last Xmas and have been baiting him ever since. He is quite shrewd and has tried various ploys to test me out, ie, changing his e.mail address and persona, and sending me baiting e.mails from different e.mail addresses, formats, and names. He rings me almost every weekday, and makes numerous calls.

So far, he has had his dolla chopped twice (audio)...
http://www.4shared.com/audio/UGpB7YQK/Randyxxx_ST_16Jul11.html

...and been on a (since confirmed) 2-day AllSt@r safari to Ghana, where the £350 GBP he was chasing after was collected by an imposter. He also pushes heavily and repeatedly for me to send him money by Western Union to fund his safaris, which he says are all my fault.

I have opened gmail addresses for AllSt@r offices in Ghana and now Benin, and managed to get him to e.mail me a scan of his Nigeria Driver’s Licence, which may or may not be genuine, and bears the name of Alex Ke1vin.

As I type this, he is on another AllSt@r safari, right now stredded in Cotonou with just 500 CFA Francs (approx .66 GB pence/.76 Euro cents/$1.05 USD) to his name. I had ‘sent’ him £1000 GBP for my loan via AllSt@r, but as before, AllSt@r security intercepted it and advised him that cash has to be collected in person, this time from its Benin Mail Hub. What I didn’t tell him was that the AllSt@r office is in Parakou. He assumed it was just over the border in Cotonou and only on arrival today got the bad news.

Here are some of today’s e.mails:

(‘Pierre S@lami is my character, the AllSt@r Benin Depot Manager. ‘Ed R0bins’ belongs to AllSt@r Support).

Quote:
Hi mr. ke1vin,

This is a quick mail before i go home for the night. if all has gone as plan, you should be here when you pick up this. i am looking forward to meet with you in morning (friday). please note that on fridays i start and finish slightly later than other days, ie, 1300 hrs start and 2100 hrs finish.

please e.mail me when you arrive here andi will come and pick you. I need full name of internet cafe and street name. don't forget i will require the track number. i will also bring a copy of you i.d photo for safety reasons.

Heartily,

Pierre S@lami
Depot Manager
AllSt@r Benin Mai1 Hub


Quote:
* 41.85.167.133 Office des Poste et Telecommunications aka Benin T BENIN

Delivered-To: allst@rxxxxxxx
Received: by 10.227.129.11 with SMTP id m11cs15026wbs;
Fri, 14 Oct 2011 02:26:18 -0700 (PDT)
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Return-Path: <alexxxxxx@yahoo.com>
Received: from nm31-vm7.bullet.mail.ne1.yahoo.com (nm31-vm7.bullet.mail.ne1.yahoo.com. [98.138.229.47])
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Fri, 14 Oct 2011 02:26:17 -0700 (PDT)
Received-SPF: pass (google.com: best guess record for domain of alexxxxxx@yahoo.com designates 98.138.229.47
as permitted sender) client-ip=98.138.229.47;
Authentication-Results: mx.google.com; spf=pass (google.com: best guess record for domain of
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Date: Fri, 14 Oct 2011 02:26:16 -0700 (PDT)
From: Alex Ke1vin <alexxxxxx@yahoo.com>
Subject: AM IN COTONOU NOW
To: AllSt@r Benin <allstarxxxxxx>
In-Reply-To: <CAJ2uBogVkSixXNt6Haet3Cp3LYHL_j++hhSD6oaVJak0VgoAiQ@mail.gmail.com>
MIME-Version: 1.0
Content-Type: multipart/alternative; boundary="983643977-1919577889-1318584376=:71209"

--983643977-1919577889-1318584376=:71209
Content-Type: text/plain; charset=iso-8859-1
Content-Transfer-Encoding: quoted-printable

Hello

I just arrived Bénin,COTONOU so here is my location right now

VON ;PHARMACIE SAINT MARTIN
QUARTIE SURU.LENE
CYBER;NEW NET(SANDIA)
à COTE DU PADIME

Am awaiting your urgent response.
Regard
Alex Ke1vin


Quote:
Dear mr. ke1vin,

There seems to have been a misunderstanding here, we are in PARAKOU,not cotonou. I would have thought you would have known this. Anyway, i have spoken with mr. robins and allst@r will pay your taxi to parakou. Just stop a bush taxi on the street (we call them zemi-john) and ask to go to Parakou airport. It will cost only about 6000 CFA Franc. Alternatively, you can get a bush taxi to Parakou at Gare Guinkomé (on Rue des Dako Donou).

Once you are at this airport, go to the information desk (on left as you enter airport main entrance) and ask the guy at reception (today it is Abdul) to page me. I will be over in about 10 mins. I will pay your driver and also bring your £1000 GBP and the 84,000.00 XOF (CFA Franc) expenses from your accra trip.

If you want to pass the night here, you can stay free of charge in the duty drivers night shelter, which has bunks and a shower. We can supply a towel and soap. There is a 24-hr staff canteen in the airport and I will get you a temporary pass to use it.
Well, sorry for the mix-up. Get your self up here this afternoon. I am here til 2100 hrs, but can stay later if you wants me to.

Heartily,

Pierre Sal@mi
Depot Manager
AllSt@r Benin Mai1 Hub


Quote:
Hello

I was about to get to PARAKOU,so right now am in etoile rouge because the Box Driver told me that the transportation to PARAKOU is 5,000 and am left with nothing so i cannot afford the transport fees now even to the extend i look for a chartered car to drop me at the airport but all could not avail,with that i decided to email you to inform you about that.

Please i requires that if your agent can come here at etoile rouge to pick me up because right now am confuse because nothing is left for me to eat and i dont have anywhere to stay.

This was the main reason i requires your full information to get to your office.before i left Nigeria and i have spend all the money for transport because i thought that once i receieve my package that i can transport myslf back to Nigeria but now am in middle of nowhere

Await your urgent response
Alex Ke1vin


Quote:
i want you to know that am not happy with all this because as i speak now am shout of words and i dont know where and whom to meet here in becuse am only having 500CFA left with me now because as i was about entering the Box to Parakou they said is 5000CFA which i dont hve now so am in the street even to the extend i look for a personal chareter Taxi to get to the airport but i could not see any.

Thes was all what i tried to avoid so i need your help if any of your agent can come to my aid now at A.D SERVICE etoile rouge.

Please sir,i really needs your help now.

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Last edited by The Monsignor on Thu Nov 08, 2012 12:39 pm; edited 36 times in total
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Capt. Tripps
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Joined: 03 May 2011
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PostPosted: Fri Oct 14, 2011 6:30 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

"Listen! Listen! You are beginning to get me upset!" Laughing

Could he be lying, or do you genuinely think he hasn't got a pot to piss in (so to speak)?

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PostPosted: Fri Oct 14, 2011 6:35 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Quote:
but now am in middle of nowhere

Please sir,i really needs your help now.


I love it Laughing

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The Monsignor
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Joined: 08 Nov 2006
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Location: St Michael's Chapel, Rame Head


PostPosted: Fri Oct 14, 2011 6:37 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

^^^ I actually believe him. He blew so much on his abortive Accra trip, that I reckon he just scraped together enough to get to Cotonou. The AllSt@r modality is so convincing to Lads that he was sure as sure that he was getting payday on arrival at Cotonou. All he has actually got is a sore throat...
Quote:
shout of words
...due to the terrible pollution in Cotonou:
Quote:
'Benin’s commercial capital is an unlovable example of urban Africa, and spending a day here is like being locked in a car with a chain-smoking speed freak. The zemi-johns (scooter taxis) swarm down the boulevards like kamikaze pilots, filling the air with fumes that only clear at night.'

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Capt. Tripps
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PostPosted: Fri Oct 14, 2011 6:44 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

I'd love to hear him talk on the phone, now that he's stranded in Cotonou. I bet he'd be a lot less rude and a lot more receptive and not to mention desperate and worried. Ask him to call you, if he has any credit, or if not then for him to use what money he has to call you. Say you'll be able to trace him by satellite when the call connects or something, and you need his exact coordinates before one of your people can come and collect him. Need to make sure he's actually there, after all. Twisted Evil

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The Monsignor
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PostPosted: Fri Oct 14, 2011 6:51 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Sadly, I couldn't do that. He knows my voice very well. I'd need a Benin number and a convincing voice on the end of it.

Since he has 2 personas, one that speaks to me ('Randy') and his real name (Alex Ke1vin, who Randy says is the loan company secretary), to speak with me as Alex Ke1vin would give the game away that the 2 'company employees' are in fact the same person.

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Last edited by The Monsignor on Fri Nov 18, 2011 11:06 pm; edited 1 time in total
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PostPosted: Fri Oct 14, 2011 7:00 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Ah, shame. Was thinking maybe a voicemail but don't know how you'd get out of calling him back, so I don't know if you could get to hear the voice of desperation. Anyway, it's your bait - it would just be a laugh to hear him now that he realises he might be well and truly buggered.

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PostPosted: Fri Oct 14, 2011 7:24 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Nice work!!

Thumbs up Thumbs up Thumbs up

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PostPosted: Fri Oct 14, 2011 8:10 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Good working there The Monsignor, there is nothing like a angry lad on safari. Keep up the good work. Thumbs up

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PostPosted: Fri Oct 14, 2011 8:42 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Quote:
right now am confuse because nothing is left for me to eat and i dont have anywhere to stay.


Quote:
before i left Nigeria and i have spend all the money for transport because i thought that once i receieve my package that i can transport myslf back to Nigeria but now am in middle of nowhere


Quote:
so am in the street


This is what's called LAD PAIN!!

Excellent work The Monsignor Thumbs up

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PostPosted: Fri Oct 14, 2011 8:52 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Quote:
so am in the street
Sweet! I just love it! Great job, Monsignor. Very Happy bow_down
Has he had a bath, yet? Laughing

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PostPosted: Fri Oct 14, 2011 9:12 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

^^^ Cheers, all. This makes the hard work worthwhile.

I'm just hoping he has been on the back of one of these: http://picasaweb.google.com/lh/photo/yiShoUUz_HHW_jmieeIWdA enduring the hell that is the 6-hour journey to Parakou. I would give a week's earnings to be at that airport when he turned up.

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PostPosted: Fri Oct 14, 2011 9:39 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Great job.

Lucky is the mugu on a Safari ! Heard Benin is a wonderful place to visit.

"Penniless"? no he has dreams and your friendship to nourish him.

On the street? Great that’s where the action is, another lucky break. Who needs a stuffy hotel room?

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The Monsignor
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PostPosted: Fri Oct 14, 2011 9:42 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

^^^ Yes, I thought that.........until I read this in Lonely Planet:
Quote:
Cotonou is a dangerous city where muggings at knife-point are not uncommon

Plausible in both appearance and manner, con men have all sorts of stories to lure tourists to a secluded area where a gang of accomplices is waiting.

Muggers have also been known to pose as zemi-john drivers.

Thumbs up

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PostPosted: Fri Oct 14, 2011 11:30 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

AWESOME!!!!! Nice work!

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I repeat, do not arrange for the cops and if you play hard i will pull my trigger and i have my bullet straight in your F**king fore head -

Madam F**k you with your game ok and dont write to my email or l will track you down with FBI you play with me .

You are nothing but an idiot , You must die by motor accident by fooling with a man that is old enough to be your father .
soon you will writing from your grave .
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vonpaso xlura
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PostPosted: Fri Oct 14, 2011 11:38 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Slap him for parakousis (disobedience or failure to listen, in Greek). Smile Great job stranding him!

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You are a big liar ... You seem to be very trustworthy ... You are a joker.
I will inform my Attorney to provide the necessary documents to avoid eye blow of the government
This is very frustrating ... their said they is know transaction ... I feel very ebasared right now ... I feel very dissapoited again
YOU CAN'T EVEN KEEP YOUR BULLSHIT SCAM STORIES STRAIGHT!! YOU AREN'T EVEN A SMART CRIMINAL!! YOU ARE GOING TO PRISON!!
E NO GO BETTER FOR YOUR MAMA NAA ME U DEY WYNE ABI GOD PUNISHED YOU AND YOUR GENERATION
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PostPosted: Fri Oct 14, 2011 11:39 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Great work monsignor!!

I am sure that the kindly Pierre would send a zemi-john to pick the poor lad up (fully paid of course).

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I thank you for your mail and wish to inform you that I mate with the lawyer this afternoon...

PAY YOUR BILL PAY YOUR BILL.OR STOP WASTING YOUR TIME. BARRISTER S ZUMA ESQ.

How will be asking all that question wasting my time that is precious....

... you are a joker a deciever and also a liar ...

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PostPosted: Sat Oct 15, 2011 12:19 am Reply with quoteBack to top

Ah, I love the whining of a streded lad. Very Happy Great job, Monsignor.

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PostPosted: Sat Oct 15, 2011 12:57 am Reply with quoteBack to top

^^^ Thanks all. Well, let's see what tomorrow brings. I am hoping that when I leisurely login to webmail around 1200 hrs, he will be telling me that he got to the airport after a horrific 8 hour ride on a 6 horsepower zemi-john, was thrown out by security (beaten would be better, arrested delightful) and slept rough in a gutter, being eaten raw by mosquitoes. Now filthy, sick, and starving, he just needs Mr Sa1ami to come along in the AllSt@r van and rescue him.

Wonder what to tell him then?............


Leeted Mr Sa1ami

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Last edited by The Monsignor on Sat Nov 05, 2011 11:56 am; edited 1 time in total
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The Monsignor
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PostPosted: Sat Oct 15, 2011 12:12 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Folks, just when you thought that it couldn't get any better.....

Last night, I left him this:
Quote:
Dear mr. kelvin,

well, itis now after 2200 hrs and i have to leave for my home now. i waited long for you to arrive here but not to avail.
i have locked your cash in safe. if you read this e.mail in morning, let me know where you are and i will come and pick you in van. i start work at 1200 hrs Saturdays.

heartily,

Pierre Sal@mi
Depot Manager
AllSt@r Benin Mai1 Hub


Received from him at 0856 hrs local:
Quote:
Goodmorning Mr.Pierre?

I want you to know that i arrived late yesterday night at 2;30AM so with that the Taxi Driver could not driver to the airport as regarding the transport fees,i use my mobile phone as a collateral which he agreed to be paid back once i get to COTONOU today.

Meanwhile i went inside the airport to ask of your company but the security said that they could not recognise that,so right now i will be standing at the entrace gate of PARAKOU AIRPORT and my color of dressing is a caton T shirt,black shoe and a pence trouser so i requires your urgent attention due to i will be leaving earlier today because of the long journey.

Thanks and await your urgent response.
Alex Ke1vin

Then at 0920 hrs:
Quote:
Mr.Pierre Sal@mi

I WILL BE WAITING TO FOR YOU AT THE ENTRACE GATE OF THE AIRPORT HERE AT PARAKOU THIS MORNING OK

Then at 1219 hrs:
Quote:
Sir,please once it is 1200 pick me up at the airport entrace gate today am in the nearest store

I replied at 1301 hrs:
Quote:
Dear mr. kelvin,

i am just back from driving around the entire airport perimeter fence twice. i could not find you anywhere.

the thing to do is to come directly to the back of the airport and scale the perimeter fence. we are directly alongside the back of the runway in a low hut with EXPEDITEURS painted on the side.

here, the shower is hot and i have some coffee on the stove. see you soon.

Heartily,

Pierre Sal@mi
Depot Manager
AllSt@r Benin Mai1 Hub

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The Monsignor
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PostPosted: Sat Oct 15, 2011 2:13 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Just in:
Quote:
Sir

Am on my way ok,so awaiting me

Well, according to my research, Parakou airport has a grass runway and is used only by light aircraft. It should be quiet today, but hopefully he will soon have the teeth of a German Shepherd Dog in his rag-clad backside.

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next victim
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PostPosted: Sat Oct 15, 2011 2:18 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

I hope someone has a camera!

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PostPosted: Sat Oct 15, 2011 2:30 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

This can't end well...for the lad, anyway. Twisted Evil

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PostPosted: Sat Oct 15, 2011 2:35 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Haha love it! Great job TM!

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The Monsignor
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PostPosted: Sat Oct 15, 2011 4:41 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

^^^ Cheers!

In at 1547 hrs local:
Quote:
sir,

I want you to know and understand that i went all over the airport looking for you but all could not avail so all what i requires from you now is to help me because you quite new well that this is the main reason am here ok.

so am still standing at the main extrance of the airport at parakou where they sold fuel and repairs motor cycle.

I will be very grateful if my request is been granted

Thanks
Alex Ke1vin


My reply an hour later:
Quote:
Dear mr.alex,

Your mails are well noted,. I cannot understand how i havemissed you if you are where you state. I have now been round 3 time in vehicle and not seen you. It must be coincidece that when i drive around you are sending email.

Well, do not feel depress as we will meets very soon. I have now to sort some cargo of mail that landed yesterday and once done i will walk around on foot to find you.

the canteen is serving evening meal at 1900 hrs. i have ask auntie the cook to save meal for you on hot plate. Today is lamb tagine. I hope you are not vegetarian religion. We also have some cold beer in fridge in driver shelter. I bets you will want shower and rest.

Hope to meet you after i finish the unload, maybe around 1830 hrs i will set off on foot.

I mean to ask you questions - did you get here in taxi car? or was it on taxi motorcycle? How long was journey?

Heartily,

Pierre
Depot Manager
AllSt@r Benin Mai1 Hub

I bet he can almost smell that lamb and taste the beer Mc Fry Beer

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