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 The deeply button of my heart

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thomas-the-tank
Elite Baiter


Joined: 18 Aug 2007
Posts: 1087
Location: Wherever I want the lads to think I am


PostPosted: Tue Aug 23, 2011 9:43 am Reply with quoteBack to top

One of my recent gems:

Quote:
Be informed that i am hereby writing to you from deeply button of my heart according to what you stated reference,take note,there is no any addtitional payment should be demands again to pay after this total amount $65,00,have paid,so,try all your possible hard best,how to send the important charges,between today and tomorrow,to enable issue of your fund complete
 
By virtue of law, you have to go now and make the payment of the required Fee as directed Below to enable the Ownership Certificate obtain and issue in your Name of your Funds Transfer to be made immediately because this is the time and moment you supposed to receiving of your contract funds as soon as you send the fee today you will receive your funds and i am wait to hear from you today been monday so that you will enbale to receive your funds once.
 
You are advice to send the US$65  by Western Union  as directed below and  update with theAttached Copies of payment Information for recorded as directed immediately and also get ready and I am at your Service because of your Funds transfer is READY which you know that you have to appreciate the effort that Benin new present Government made for you to secure your fund with a copy of Transfer payment Slip to you for Handover.
 
 With all due respect, please do not delay to send this fee Today because this is a last chance and final conclusion. Kindly do your best now to send the Fee and update me immediately CONGRATULATIONS.

Other details and Transfer procurement payment slip Sheet will be forwarded to your Bank Authority as soon as you send the Fee US$65 Today Thursday and update me with payment information satisfied that you will rejoice right now.
 
On behalf of this Democratic Government of United States of America (U.S.A), I apologize for any delay you might have encountered in receiving your Fund in the past.
 
 By virtue of law, you have to go now and make the payment of the required Fee as directed Below to enable the Ownership Certificate obtain and issue in your Name of your Funds Transfer to be made immediately because this is the time and moment you supposed to receiving of your contract funds as Beneficiary.
 
 I officially wait for the Attached Copy of Payment Transfer Slip Information Scan for Recorded of your Funds Transfer to be made immediately.
 
 The above money should be sent via WESTERN UNION TRANSFER within 24 Hrs in favor of the smooth confirmation of the funds of your Funds into your Bank Account.

 Receiver Name:
 Address: Cotonou, Benin Republic
City Address:: Cotonou
 Test  Question ; Good
 Test Answer: Good
 Sender Name.....................?
 AMOUNT:US$65
  MTCN,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,?
 
Thanks for your Understanding
Best Regard
   
 Benin Republic's  president
 Goodluck Jonathan, (SFF, GCRF)

Truly excellent stuff.

_________________
"You body parts will picked on the scene of a fatal accident that you will be involved in seven days time"
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wowwow
Elite Baiter


Joined: 14 Apr 2009
Posts: 1796
Location: Here is the picture of the cash in the boxes before we send it down to the company to deposited it


PostPosted: Tue Aug 23, 2011 10:00 am Reply with quoteBack to top

Don't knock it.
It's hard to be ingratiating with such a terrible grasp of English grammar. I would send him the $65 if he keeps sending such funny stuff.

From the deeply dank button of my bottom I thank thee Laughing

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vonpaso xlura
Different and Distinctive


Joined: 10 Apr 2011
Posts: 12170
Location: Bertcad, Lojbanistan


PostPosted: Tue Aug 23, 2011 12:16 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Don't forget to put your belly bitten in the armpit of his law.

Has Goodluck Jonathan ever met Goodwill Zwelethini?

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internationalchrysis
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Joined: 19 Aug 2008
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PostPosted: Wed Aug 24, 2011 4:21 am Reply with quoteBack to top

I would use the deeply button of my heart in every email, trying to convince lad it's used all the time in the general public. In fact why not introduce a few more of your own???

De-Education's a good thing Wink

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thomas-the-tank
Elite Baiter


Joined: 18 Aug 2007
Posts: 1087
Location: Wherever I want the lads to think I am


PostPosted: Wed Aug 24, 2011 4:32 am Reply with quoteBack to top

Oh, I do - I try to use "replay" rather than "reply", etc. "Discombobulate" also plays a part in many of my messages as well.

_________________
"You body parts will picked on the scene of a fatal accident that you will be involved in seven days time"
"I hate associating with men who are camelions"
"I have knowledge in goats since i learnt that in way back in secondary institution."
"I have come to learn the world is pregnant."
"Besides i am on a GLOBAL ASSIGNMENT WITH THE UN, so be reasonable and leave insults"
"suck your blood untill you resemble stockfish"


United Kingdom x 3 x 2 Ivory Coast Australia x 2 Benin
Safari Wole A x 4!! :
pony pony pony pony Goat <= don't ask about the goat! Inventor
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windypops
Baiting Guru


Joined: 25 Jan 2005
Posts: 5884
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PostPosted: Wed Aug 24, 2011 6:57 am Reply with quoteBack to top

Just be thankful he wasn't writing to you from the heart of his bottom.

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thomas-the-tank
Elite Baiter


Joined: 18 Aug 2007
Posts: 1087
Location: Wherever I want the lads to think I am


PostPosted: Wed Aug 24, 2011 7:20 am Reply with quoteBack to top

@windypops - now there's a horrible thought...

_________________
"You body parts will picked on the scene of a fatal accident that you will be involved in seven days time"
"I hate associating with men who are camelions"
"I have knowledge in goats since i learnt that in way back in secondary institution."
"I have come to learn the world is pregnant."
"Besides i am on a GLOBAL ASSIGNMENT WITH THE UN, so be reasonable and leave insults"
"suck your blood untill you resemble stockfish"


United Kingdom x 3 x 2 Ivory Coast Australia x 2 Benin
Safari Wole A x 4!! :
pony pony pony pony Goat <= don't ask about the goat! Inventor
View user's profileSend private messageSend e-mail
Entomologist
Master of Master Baiters


Joined: 12 May 2010
Posts: 742
Location: Noncomformist Like Everyone Else


PostPosted: Wed Aug 24, 2011 10:35 am Reply with quoteBack to top

Hi Thomas TT, Smile

That Lad has just ordered/commanded you to make that payment, six times in that mail. He has quite a grasp of English. Six times asking, and each time different words.

Button of his heart. Could that be inferred as an insult? Perhaps? Slap the idiot and tell him not to swear at you. That will confuse him, and then we see him apologising in his rivetting string of words.

Cheers Cool

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