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Yastreb
Demented Opportunist


Joined: 04 Apr 2006
Posts: 15076
Location: Leading my wolf pack


PostPosted: Sat Aug 13, 2011 6:09 am Reply with quoteBack to top

The Dane set up a conference call to my Lad General M1lla, after I had been chatting with the Lad for a few minutes.

Lad: hello captain ..?
Mal: Hello General M1lla.
Lad: how are you doing this morning sir ..?
Mal: I'm OK.
Lad: that is good
Lad: so how is the transaction going now
Lad: for we got no much time to be delayed with
Lad: call me now and lets talk better ok #

So the call began, but Slappy had got mixed up and opened with his Busty persona, and I had forgotten to un-mute the mic for the first three minutes, and various others were chipping in with weird sound effects.

http://www.4shared.com/audio/jrYfCXtm/Conference_Call_11_34_AM_Satur.html

And after that the chat continued:

Lad: hello
Lad: HELLO CAPTAIN
Lad: are you there sir..?
Lad: captain talk to me ok
Mal: I'm here.
Lad: how realy do you want to get the $1000 ment for the POA
Lad: send to Assante
Lad: so that he can go for the proceurment
Lad: i am trying to let you go through the fastest channel
Lad: WESTERN UNION OR MONEY GRAM
Mal: None if your gorram business now. I've emailed him and sent the ground rules.
Lad: and dont you think i need to know about that too captain ..?
Mal: When I see fit to tell you.
Lad: for all i want is a fast transaction and stress free deal
Lad: you know i have got a big TRUST in you and i know you will never make me to lose that trust
Mal: Well, you knows about Murphy's Law.
Lad: and can you let me know what you think will be the dastest way of getting this send to him
Mal: There is only one way.
Lad: and what is that way sir,,?
Mal: I told you.
Lad: tell me so that i can let you know how fast it is to receive money through that way
Mal: It'll go to his bank account. I've sent him the ground rules.
Lad: ok no problem
Lad: if that is just what you want
Lad: but hope that will not get delayed right ..?
Mal: It should go smooth and sweet.
Mal: Asante just has to pony up the necessary.
Lad: and what are the other necessary again for what need to be done got to be done at the right time for there is no delay immediately he received the funds to proceure the POA then it is done he is a professional law personel
Lad: he knows everything mostly when it comes to this kind of transaction
Mal: Final draft of the PoA, the invoice, and the bank account.
Lad: this was why i always want you to talk to him for he is some one you can ALSO TRUST JUST LIKE YOU DO TRUST IN ME OK
Lad: what finalt draft of poa again
Lad: and what invoice
Lad: /.?
Mal: For the $1000 of course.
Lad: invoice will be given to you after he got paid to the high court of justice just like a receipt right ..?
Mal: No it isn't. A receipt is a receipt.
Lad: captain please dont lets get things being delayed for we have to get our deal done in a very smart and martured way ok
Lad: i know you are a real gentle man with personality and dignity
Lad: and that is just the same applies to ASSANTE AND ME MYSELF
Mal: I don't know about Assante.
Mal: He's been a surly SOB all along.
Lad: so please dont delay for tomorow he will make sure he get all the necessary information you needed to you if possible he will like to call you just that you dont give your contact number so that we can always call you to update you just as you have being calling us as soon as possible
Mal: I told you why I can't supply a number. But at your age, memory would be a problem.
Mal: I'll cut you some slack on that.
Lad: captain we need to get things done one after the other ok
Mal: I know that.
Mal: BTW, Assante is online, but refusing to communicate.
Lad: just never delay with the poa for ASSANTE will go to get it done at the high court of justice as soon as he receive the $1000
Lad: are you sure he is only
Lad: ..?
Mal: Yep, he's signed in.
Lad: are you still there captain
Lad: and did you realy know that the time in here now is 2am very early in the morning
Lad: i guess barrister Assante forgot to log out for i called him and he is not picking up too
Mal: Well, there you are.
Mal: I had no idea.
Lad: oh that is what the time is right here
Lad: and what is the time right there now in australia captain ..?
Mal: 1205.
Lad: am or pm ..?
Mal: PM, of course. If it was AM I would have written 0005.
Lad: oh i see
Lad: i will have to go to bed now too
Lad: sir i will be looking forward to hear back from you
Lad: or better still you please forward to me the last e mail you just send to Asante
Lad: so that i can go through it too
Mal: You don't need to see it. That bonehead doesn't need you holding his gorram hand all the time.
Lad: ok
Lad: i will keep calling him to let him know that you have send to him an e mail
Lad: so that things can be done fast ok
Mal: Don't do that. He'll find out when he wakes up.
Mal: No need to give him an excuse to get snarly.
Lad: ok sir i wount do that ok
Lad: he will have to take care of that himself right ..?
Mal: Why not?
Lad: thanks a lot captain
Lad: i really appreciate your optimist concern and being a good man with high sence of humour
Lad: i know when we meet face to face we will have a lot to talk about ok
Lad: just make sure you get this money send to Assante as soon as possible
Lad: so that he can get the poa
Lad: once and for all ok .?
Mal: He has things to do first, remember.
Lad: like what and what again captain
Lad: there is no need to be using things that has not value to delay this deal
Mal: I really hate telling you things over and over again.
Lad: you know we got no much time
Lad: there is no problem i swear captain
Lad: just lets progress
Lad: we need this poa please and we got no much time for all this i guess you understand me sir../
Lad: ?
Mal: As long as Assante does what's needful, things will go smoothly.
Lad: ok sir
Lad: i will be looking forward for you to call me as soon as Asante gets back to you ok
Mal: Ball's in his court, dude.
Lad: ok captain
Lad: i have to go and have some rest now sir
Lad: i will get back to you as soon as i woke up ok
Mal: Don't give me any more boondoggle when we speak again. That was just juvenile.
Lad: ok
Lad: just traying to make things work out as fast as possible ok
Mal: O RLY? So why do stupid things over the phone? And who was that woman?
Lad: no woman
Lad: i was hearing some woman voice under while you talking to me this was why i asked
Lad: no one here i am always alone just have to do the right things at the right time ok
Mal: She was talking to you - called you General.
Lad: no he was my messanger
Lad: he called me ask if i preffare
Lad: a cup of coffee
Lad: for it s a little bit cold here
Mal: What are you talking about? No way that was a man!
Lad: oh do you want to speak with him if you
Lad: you call me now so that he can talk to you he is my messenger
Mal: Your messenger? The way she was talking? If that was a man, then I'll be hornswoggled!
Lad: lol
Lad: he was a man
Lad: a messenger to me ok
Mal: Does your messenger normally call you sweetie?
Lad: you mean my messanger call me sweetie lol
Lad: never
Mal: That's what I heard. I was trying to speak and you ignored me - you were speaking to that Busty bimbo.
Lad: oh he was traying to ask me if i do care for it and i was telling him no with my hand but he never understand so i have to shout and tell him no i dont want a cup of coffee
Mal: Who now turns out to be a man. General, this is several different flavors of wrong!
Lad: what do you mean
Lad: captain
Lad: it was my messanger that came in and you telling me a woman
Lad: there was a noice over there
Lad: this is an embarrasement you kn
Lad: this is an embarrasment you know
Mal: You were talking to a woman that you now say was a man, and who called you sweetie.
Lad: i dont like all this i swear please
Lad: it is an embarasement to my personalty
Mal: I'm not the one that got called sweetie by a guy!
Lad: how hell those that concerns you i have told you what was happening but you just love to embarase some one else
Lad: i dont like that ok
Lad: it was my messanger that came in
Lad: why are you like this captain
Lad: ?
Mal: Because you're telling something unpleasant.
Lad: what do you mean i am telling you there was a much noise over there i cant hear you clearly
Lad: then you telling me you heard a woman voice while it was my messanger and do you think i will not be avle to tell you i am with a woman if i got one in here with me what will you do nothing so why you saying all this to embarse me or what ..?
Mal: You were talking to a woman who called you sweetie and you now say was a man.
Mal: And then there was the bafflegab about a clearance certificate.
Mal: And you were talking about my wife,which I don't have.
Lad: it was not you i was traying to make a preffrence for him to help me get some documents from the drawer i do need to go through them
Lad: yes already you have told me you got no wife just a daugher
Lad: daughter
Mal: So why did you talk about my wife being on the line? Were you trying to cover up?
Lad: i am a grown up man captain i am not scared of you and since i am not scared i dont think i need to lie or what is this all about please
Mal: Grown up? You're like ninety years old!
Mal: And that "messenger" said something about being naked and going to bed!
Lad: captain we all need to respect each other ok
Mal: After that boondoggle it's not going to be easy, believe me!
Lad: how do you mean captain
Mal: I was trying to explain that there was no Moneygram in Alice Springs and you wouldn't listen. You made funny noises over the phone and were being propositioned by your messenger. It's not easy.
Lad: and what of western union ../
Lad: ?
Mal: I ain't using it,
Lad: why sir ..?
Mal: It's not safe in third world nations.
Mal: Insecure to boot.
Lad: okay
Lad: you cant talk to asante so that you can both get a sort to that
Lad: for i dont need you send to me just send to him so that he can get the poa as legal tender ok
Mal: If he would talk to me maybe things would be sorted out, but he won't.
Lad: i am so sure he is not sitting at the computer ok
Mal: Never mind then.
Lad: i am so s sure
Lad: ok
Lad: i have being traying to call him on the phone too but there is no responce it is 3am here captain
Mal: Well stop calling him then. Like I said, it''ll just give him an excuse to be an asshole.
Lad: thanks captain
Lad: i stop calling him
Lad: and i have to go to bed now too
Mal: Hopefully without the messenger.

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SlapHappy
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Joined: 15 May 2006
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Location: Floating up and down with happiness.


PostPosted: Mon Aug 15, 2011 1:13 am Reply with quoteBack to top

This was one of the most bizarre calls we have done, as the lad seemed clueless, and continued his script, ignoring all the strange pleas from "Busty" to come to bed, the barnyard noises, howling, and continued screaming questions by Yastreb about who and what was disturbing their conversation. Laughing

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