Always happy to (de)educate an Arthoney

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Posted: Tue Jun 21, 2011 4:43 pm

Last year I had a lad who insisted I sign a Power of Anthoney document. Of course, I played along with the misnomer. I have a new lad who has corrupted the word "attorney" in a similar manner.

Lad badly in need of remedial English lessons wrote:

Im sorry that you could not get the massage i sent to you becouse i was working on the information you sent to me to proceed on your behalf so i made a mistake sending the massage to my arthoney in UK,and i also personaly thank you for having the mind and the trust on me which i will try as much as i can to make sure that you did not regreat any of this asiist you are giving to me.

Mean while yestarday i was at the federal high court of justice to obtain the certificate which i will use as to present to the bank that will make the payment to your bank account the original exchange of ownership with your name on it, but the only problem among all things is that i have to change your age at least 35 becouse i can not present a young boy as small as twenty one to claim this money so they accept but one more thing they need you to come and sign the certificate before they will reliease it to you.

So all im saying is that i know that you can not come and sign this documents so i have arrange for an arthoney who will represent you as your lawyer for signing of some relevant documents, and i will like to make this clear to you before you contact the barrister if incase the made some requirment you hve to follow up with him if is something you need to ask me bfore then email me so that i will advice you on what to do.

Here Is the barrister contacts information ( [email protected]) so contacts him immediatly and ask him that he should tell you what it will take you for him to help you and sing some documents on your behalf, also tell him that you get his contacts from me that i ask you to contact him, i can not really understand what you mean by donation but all i will tell you is to try as much as you can and keep this transaction strictly confidential.

so soon as he respond to you kindly update me so that i will advice you on what to do.

So many opportunities for mischief here... What's a barrister? I want to speak to the arthoney. You can't just change my age like that! Who are you calling a "small boy"? Evil or Very Mad

Sure, I'll travel to your country. Wink

Decisions, decisions... Laughing

Elite Baiter Joined: 19 Jan 2009 Posts: 1440

Quote:

Im sorry that you could not get the massage i sent to you

Massages can be sent, like flower baskets? I want to order one from your lad!

Posted: Tue Jun 21, 2011 5:34 pm

Quote:

he should tell you what it will take you for him to help you and sing some documents on your behalf

I don't know about the massage but maybe I can get the arthoney to sing some documents to you. Very Happy

Posted: Tue Jun 21, 2011 6:29 pm

why do you keep insulting me? do not use the offensive word barrister please, change it to felon or queer

Posted: Tue Jun 21, 2011 6:34 pm

I'm just going to insist he use "arthoney" because that is what we call lawyers in the US. Wink

EDIT:
I sent him this:

Quote:

I don't know what a barrister is but I do think it would be a good idea if I spoke to your arthoney. Please send me his email address so we can proceed.

The lad quickly responded with:

Quote:

Are you sure you are not playing with my inteligent how many times do i have to send you the lawyer email to contact him barrister means a lawyer now you can understand that will help you and sign the release documents to proceed on the transfer im getting tired of your assist.

How can I play with something that doesn't exist? Rolling Eyes

Posted: Tue Jun 21, 2011 8:05 pm

Obviously you cannot carry on this transaction without seeing the "Last Will and Testes".

Elite Baiter Joined: 02 Jul 2006 Posts: 1702

testes is where the word testimonial comes from (although linguistics are not in agreement which means it could be used lol)

barristers sending people pics of them holding there "testimonial" might just be the right way forward hehehe

Posted: Wed Jun 22, 2011 6:18 am

^^^ European languages seem to have this mentality: In German, "zeugen" can either mean to be the proof of something or to beget a child.

Posted: Wed Jun 22, 2011 9:41 am

I've got a feeling this lad is going to be a real peach! When I didn't write to the lad's "arthoney" right away (slow cooking is good cooking after all Wink

), the lad shot me the following email:

Quote:

Still now you have not contacted the arthoney as i have sent you his email sevral times to contacts him for the signing of the certificate which is already in place just for him to go to the FEDERAL HIGH COURT here and sign it and forward it to you so that you can contact the bank as the the new beneficary: the arthoney email is once again for the last time ([email protected]) contact him now he is about to travelled to united state to visit his family over there and he said if he did not recieve your email today that he is going drop you file and face other things, AN BARRISTER MEANS ARTHONEY so contact him now with email i sent you.

So if that is what you want just let me know, and also i know that as i ask you before you have an account that can contain this money, i know that you are very small to handlle this kind of money but since you said that you are capable just make sure that you arrange for the bank account were this fund will be transfer and make sure that you keep this strictly confidential to your self untill this money is in your account.

<love this next bit>
Lastly, if you are to benefite from this fund you have to be cheking your email regularly you dont sit down once in a day and check your email and also i hope you are no writting to me from a public internet cafe? becouse ifyou dont have a laptop of your own i dont think you are capable to handle this transaction so make sure that you prepared for this money as i dont want any mistakes for you and remember i told the arthoney that you are 35 years not twenthy one as you told me incase if he ask you.

Finaly, contact him now and saty on and check tyour email this will be the last tiem i will advioce you on what to do if you did not contacts the arthoney today forget about this transaction and focus on your education.

Waiting to hear from you with good news.

Now why would he be suspicious of people using internet cafes? Rolling Eyes

Posted: Wed Jun 22, 2011 3:37 pm

Tell him you own a room full of 100-zillion-therabyte servers.

Posted: Wed Jun 22, 2011 3:42 pm

And I always thought that "arthoney" was a form of Folk art involving "honey"

http://www.time.com/time/magazine/article/0,9171,837109,00.html

Posted: Wed Jun 22, 2011 3:49 pm

Well, if you can't speak to the arthoney I suggest you speak to the Barrista. I hear they make a damn fine cup o joe.

Posted: Thu Jun 23, 2011 8:21 pm

Well, this bait went downhill in a hurry. The Arthoney didn't like my questions so the lad's original character sent me the following (I love how some lads continue the charade of being different people even when they are about to dump you Rolling Eyes

)

The annoying little blood-sucker wrote:

How are you today? the barrister just call me and sent to me the email you sent to him anyway Im not surprise becouse you are too small to handle this transaction you can not even afford $780usd to complete the certificate i have already spent all most$10.000usd to get this far, Im really disapointed in you i will put an application on some one else that will assist me to get this done. Thank you for the little eefort you provided and take good care of your self.

Recognizing that this bait is doomed but not being one to go away quietly, I wrote:

Why are you being such a donkey? I'm doing everything I can to help you. Who said anything about not being able to afford $780.

I thought I might get a rise out of him with the "donkey" comment and the lad didn't disappoint.

Under a Subject line of THANK YOU FOR THE INSULT, the lad wrote:

I contacted you to do this business does not permit you to insult me what do you mean by such a donkey do you know my age for you say a thing like that pl z stop writing to me go and mind your deaf life i don't have anything do with people like you.

What is your problem how can you say a thing like that to me dont you have a respect to your elders if you try that again i can trace you through the information sent to me with FBI.

if you know that you can not assist then quite and stop wasting my time.

OOOOO the FBI OOOOOO Laughing

Since he is SOOOO touchy about being called a donkey, of course I used the word again - twice.

Quote:

Aren't you being a little over sensitive. A "donkey" is simply someone who is being stubborn - as donkeys often are. It is a commonly used word here. Why would you see that as such an insult?

He seems a bit over sensitive about this age thing, too. If he writes back, I'll needle him about that. Razz

EDIT: I don't know if I should be Smile

or

The lad wrote back and seems completely fine.

Quote:

I give order tp the arthoney not to contacts any one if you can find a away and get those fee to complete the certificate just let me know today please the bank just send me a letter of notification that they surpose to start the transfer today which i ask them to please give one more time so as you can see the bank are waiting for us just what ever you have to and send that fee today.

I surpose to do that but i have arrange for the transfer charges which will take at least $180.000.00usd Shocked

so can see i need your help now that is why i contacted you.

try anything that you can and get that fee today and send it to Mr edward to get the certificate.

Waiting to hear from you soonest.

Wow! I have been charged some heavy fees before but $180 Grand tops the list. Nice to have something new to argue about. Glad to see the "arthoney" misnomer is sticking, too. Also nice to know this lad has a VERY short fuse.

Posted: Fri Jul 01, 2011 9:04 pm

After another week or so of delays, screwed up Wuxfer receipts, etc. my lad had had enough. Today, I got the following under the Subject line of "JUST GO PLEASE.":

Quote:

How are you doing? (I love how he starts off an angry email being all nice and stuff Very Happy

: ) I Just a call from mr Matthews saying that you have not send the payment information to him after all I hAVE PLEADED With you and now i think i know what is the best both of us just for you to quit and face your life.

How can a small boy like you will be playing with grow up people like us, you said you needed an apology i send you a letter of apology and Mr Matthews also sent you and uptill now you have not send the payment information to him, just stop wasting my time and yours and go away if you dont want to be part of this great life time opportunity.

I can look for one else to assist me Im not interested in you any more go and face your dumb life.

That last bit made me laugh out loud which earns an automatic promotion to the sig line.

So, to keep him wriggling on the hook a while longer, I sent him a fake MTCN number. He replied immediately, apologizing all over the floor:

Quote:

You are making me crazy you dont even know what Im going through here, the reason why i said such things is becouse the bank said this morning that if theY did not recieve any certificate that they are not going to make any transfer untill monday so that is why i got anoid just becouse i think the course is from you.

Im really really sorry please forgive me i have spent a lot just to make sure that this money transfer to your account just look today i hace to pay another $12.000usd for some reason if you were in my shoe are you going to be happy? im sorry.

Lastly, please sent Mr Matthews your ID they needed it to complete the certificate and also forward to me your account information with the name of your account so that the bank will start the transfer immediatly please accept my apology i will naver say such word to you again.

Waiting to hear from you

Actually, dude, I expect I'll hear from you first (and with a slightly different tone) - when you figure out the MTCN is bogus! Twisted Evil

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