Cancer Daises

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Posted: Sat Jun 18, 2011 7:54 am

I'm wondering if he will overlook the slight sarcasm in my reply?

Quote:

From: Barrister Stephen Gates Chambers
Subject: Rick Astely , Please Proceed, Funds Release ($10Million USD)

Dear Benefiiciary
It is my great pleasure to read through your mail, I wish to inform you this funds claim is at its peak legitimacy ok, please kindly decline if you wish not to claim the funds willed, do decline we will not be in any way appreciate receiving unwarranted proposition from you, so after you receive the mail if you wish to claim the funds claim, send below information for funds release. In respect of Mrs. Janet Brown Will it might interest you to know, that Late Mr. David Wilson Brown and the wife are very honest and nice family you could ever think of, Its so sad now, to see Janet suffering from cancer daises for about 2 years, well I still have the faith that nothing is too difficult for God to do in her case. As a matter of fact, she has told me that any body that write me either she is dead of alive and quote the reference numbers, I should not hesitate to deal with him or her in respect our the deposited cash of $10,000,000(Ten Million US Dollars) to carry out her good will. Right now, the cash in question is deposited with a save keeping security Company/security firm. If am sure and pleased with your willingness and sincerity to carry the responsibility in accordance to the donor’s good intension, am going to give you proceeding for funds release to you. Please you have to be highly confidential in this transaction till will finalize this project and you now have the funds in your hand/custody because I would not want anything to jeopardize the funds release to you. On this you are expected to send your Full Name, Full Address, and Real Tel Number, Occupation or any form of ID that will proceed in funds release to you. I know you will be wondering how your email, was chosen, She did an online search by herself and she chooses you. You need not to worry this transaction is problem free & legit

MY CONDITIONS
-The total sum of USD$10Million will be transferred/released to you confirmable in 2working days.
- All correspondence will be strictly by private email / telephone and fax, for security purposes.
- There should be no other third parties as most problems associated with such payments are caused by their agents/representatives/advisers. If you AGREE with my conditions, l will advise you to send requested information earlier asked for action and immediately the fund transfer

Best regards,
Stephen & Associates
Alt email; ( [email protected] )

Quote:

Hello,
It was a pleasure to read through your mail, in fact it gave me so much pleasure I had to finish myself off.
I am glad to hear this fund is at it it's peak legitimacy, can you tell me at what time the fund was not legitimate?
We have similar thing in this country when sofas are offered on sale at 'half' the price. The conditions are that they appeared at the full price in one store in the country. As the store happened to be in John O' Groats with a population of three, two of which already have a sofa, and the other being a sheep with no credit rating, you can see what I am getting at.
I am glad to hear the Late Mr David Wilson Brown is an honest man. And to be expected, I have never heard of a deceased person committing any crime, not even on CSI where the plot lines often sound like the imaginings of a criminally insane baboon.
Thank you for warning me about the 'cancer daises'. I have instructed the local council to eradicate all daises from grass verges and borders in the local area i case someone were to come in contact with them.
As to writing to Janet Brown, dead or alive, I think it would be quite pointless writing to her if she were dead. I would rather attempt to conduct a seance.
As to wondering how she chose my email, yes I was wondering that.
Please let me know how I should arrange to receive the money, I would think an armored car and two guards would be appropriate.
yours sincerely,
Rick Astley

Posted: Sat Jun 18, 2011 12:29 pm

it'll probably go right over his head and you can spindle him to kingdom come. In fact I doubt he'll read your replies until he starts getting to matters of money. Have fun Smile

Posted: Sat Jun 18, 2011 3:21 pm

I ended up toning the sarcasm down a little. I still can't beleive some people have never heard of Rick Astley Wink

When I get orphan, disaster appeal scams, I usually respond to them as if I think they are a fan looking for autographs and arrange to visit the orphanage, hospice or country to survey the damage. I'm just hoping I get one lad who really thinks Rick Astley is coming to visit his country and has a brass band waiting at the airport along with the local press.

Smile

In the end I sent ..

Quote:

Hello,
It was a pleasure to read through your mail, in fact it gave me so much pleasure I had to finish myself off.
Always great to hear from a fan of my music.
Please forward this picture on to Janet.
I am glad to hear this fund is at it's peak legitimacy and the Late Mr David Wilson Brown is an honest man.
Thank you for warning me about the 'cancer daises'.
As to writing to Janet Brown, dead or alive, I think it would be a shame writing to her if she were dead. I would rather attempt to conduct a seance.
As to wondering how she chose my email, yes I was wondering that.
Please let me know how I should arrange to receive the money.

I would send you my contact details but I am currently on tour. Can we conduct this conversation by email?
You can see all my tour dates here
http://www.rickastley.co.uk/

Please send me Janet's full contact details so I can send her free concert tickets.
your friend always,
Rick Astley

.. unfortunately poor old Janet didn't 'survivie' .. damn those 'daises'
He actually went to the website and worked out where I'm having my next concert, He's also now changed my name to 'Lick Rastlry' ???
'

Quote:

Fund Release Proceedings Lick Rastlry
Lick Rastlry, success in your concert in Skovdalen Søndre Skovvej 2, Aalborg, Denmark today, very well i wish to inform you that Mrs J Brown did not survivie the surgery, please proceed with below instructions for funds release, we can wire funds to any of your choice of nominated account, surely confidenitality of funds claim its represented at its peak, With reference to your file number: GRSC/1000WZ87.Upon the receipt of your given information, This serves to acknowledged the receipt of your email on the subject matter of Mrs. Janet Brown deposit with us ,reference number GRSC/1000WZ87, while we hereby wish to state here with that Mrs. Janet Brown made the deposit with us BUT under an irrevocable BOND, please be fully aware and informed that this bond obligate us to pay you COMPLETE the deposited sum of US$10Million,anything on the contrary is a criminal act, which we DO NOT Subscribe to. For funds release there Is Need For The Procurement LEGALIZATION OF YOUR DOCUMENTS,STAMP DUTY AND ENDOSMENT OF YOUR DOCUMENT,GIFT AND TRANSFER SEAL, AND ENDOSMENT OF FUNDS TRANSFER TITLE CERTIFICATE, this will enhance the will release to you. We have also been formally notified by Mrs. Janet Brown who is that she has willed her deposit worth US$10,000,000 to you for humanitarian/charitable cause, we congratulate you. For us to begin the process of formally acting on your email and the mess age from you, our standard procedure which is in accordance with the statutory laws of this country for the collection of valuable deposit MUST be strictly adhered to by all depositors or their accredited person. In view of the forgoing therefore, and worth of Mrs. Janet Brown deposit which has been willed to you, it behoves you to endeavor to call , as that would ensures that we are NOT working at cross-purposes. This is very important, I wish to officially inform you that you are expected to follow instructions in view of the Legalization Process, act in other for us to release the will to you. The Required Above documents which will be legalized, by us(law firm) in court will now empower us to carry out wire transfer/release of $10,000,000USD into your nominated bank account. Note that the deposited funds are protected by a hardcover insurance policy, which makes it impossible to deduct any amount from the money before it has been remitted to you. This means that the charges that will be given to the In-House Attorney cannot be deducted from the WILL and hence must be provided by you before the will is transferred to you after full Confirmation of the Attached Letter to this Mail. For The Procurement of these legal documents required fee for the In-House Attorney cannot be deducted from the WILL and hence must be provided by you. The Fee is £500Euros (FIVE HUNDRED Euros)
Below Is also pat of Listed Items For The Fee to By The In-House Attorney for will release.
-Authentication Fee -Stamp Duty Fee -Administration Fee -Court Register Fees/Charges -Endorsement of Funds Transfer/Payment Certificate
Once this legal fee is made available after the procurement of the legal papers in court the will/funds shall be released in the next 24hours, I wish to inform you that this documents is to protect you and the said funds that will be released to you, it has to fully bear your name as well as protect you when funds is released to you, without it the funds cannot be secured by you, due to the fact without this legal papers the Government Monitoring Unit On Funds will come knocking on you.Lick Rastlry The Charges is made via western union money transfer scheme all is to London United kingdom, walk into any western union in your location even in Skovdalen Søndre Skovvej 2, Aalborg, Denmark today, and make the western union payment. Do Make the Payment ( £500Euros (FIVE HUNDRED Euros)) via WESTERN UNION MONEY TRANSFER on the name of the Senior Legal Officer Name – Stephen Gates

Elite Baiter Joined: 19 Jan 2009 Posts: 1440

Quote:

Fund Release Proceedings Lick Rastlry

Dyslexic laddie? They couldn't be funnier if they tried.

Posted: Sun Jun 19, 2011 4:16 pm

wowwow wrote:

I ended up toning the sarcasm down a little. I still can't beleive some people have never heard of Rick Astley Wink

This is the first I've heard of him. He's going on strike in mid-October?

Posted: Sun Jun 19, 2011 10:09 pm

^^^Never heard of Rick Astley? Consider yourself lucky that you haven't heard his music yet. puke

Posted: Mon Jun 20, 2011 2:12 am

How does it compare to Assurancetourix's?

There is actually a word "daises". It means "raised platforms". What daises have to do with cancer, I don't know.

Posted: Mon Jun 20, 2011 9:59 am

^^ Raised Platforms?

I think he's talking about this Vonpaso:

http://www.healthexpertadvice.org/health/Cancer/Is-it-true-that-wearing-high-heeled-shoes-can-cause-cancer-123686.htm

Posted: Mon Jun 20, 2011 10:35 am

http://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/dais

Posted: Mon Jun 20, 2011 11:13 am

Quote:

There is actually a word "daises". It means "raised platforms". What daises have to do with cancer, I don't know.

That's very strange Smile

Posted: Mon Jun 20, 2011 11:15 am

Quote:

Dear Barrister,
I am very sad to hear about Mrs Janet Browns passing.
All of my team cried and we said a prayer for her.
I am quite distraught that a well meaning and trusting woman would wish to donate all her money to our charity.
She is not the first to make such a philanthropic gesture.

On my return to the United Kingdom I will stop into your offices so we can conclude this business.
At the moment with all these tour dates you can understand we are busy rehearsing for the concert.
We are expecting a large audience.
I would like to invite you and your partner to the concert and 5 star champagne after-party.
I hope you can attend.
Let me know at your soonest convenience.
your friend,
Rick

Quote:

Success In Concert....... Lick Rastlry
Saturday, June 18, 2011 12:54 PM
From:
"Barristar Stephen Gates ESQ" <[email protected]>

Stephens & Associates Chambers

12 Pall Mall London SW1Y 5LU United Kingdom

ref#: GRSC/1000WZ87

Attn;Lick Rastlry

Fund Release Proceedings Lick Rastlry

Lick Rastlry, success in your concert in Skovdalen Søndre Skovvej 2, Aalborg, Denmark i received your mail, well will be leaving for ASIA, tommorrow due to work load, legal duties and human right duties and will be away for 6months, once you are back notify me so that i can give you instructions on how to send down the requested fee to ASIA so that i can finish up funds release to you ok. I thought you could make the payment over there in Denmark and send in the MTCN & pay information as well as your account where you want the funds to be wired to, neverthless once you are back be informed you will send down the fee to me in ASIA because i will be leaving for ASIA tommorrow or monday morning

It's so funny I'm not going to correct him that he can't even spell his job title 'Barristar Stephen Gates ESQ' .. what a star , He's also got my damn concert dates wrong Razz

He's dodged me turning up at his offices and inviting him to a concert 'after party' by pretending to fuck off to ASIA Smile

I wonder why he repeatadly capitalises ASIA? I'll just make sure i write ASIA in capitals from now on Smile

Quote:

Hello Barrister,
Yes we had a fantastic concert and the fans were great. I had a couple of younger fans (women) come back to my place after the concert. They were very frisky. They said they are over 18 Wink

. Anyways.
Thank you for the information that you are in ASIA. That obviously means you won't be able to attend any of my concerts. What a shame. So how can I meet up with you.
Can you send me your contact details in ASIA. Which country in particular or just the whole of it?
I am able to use western union but you must understand that my management team are very strict about personal business matters and I have to record every transaction for tax purposes. Perhaps you can send someone to meet me here in Denmark?
The flight is very short between there and Denmark. I would be prepared to pay you for the trouble if you were to arrange it.

Your freind,
Rick

Posted: Mon Jun 20, 2011 4:16 pm

vonpaso xlura wrote:

What daises have to do with cancer, I don't know.

He meant 'disease' .. Rolling Eyes

Posted: Tue Jun 21, 2011 10:43 am

Hello,
Please contact me immediately on your arrival in Asia to update me with you location please. I think I have a way to conclude this transaction which will satisfy us both.
As we have not met, and you have confirmed my identity, but I have not confirmed yours.
To make sure that no hijackers on the the internet interfere with us, maybe you should also have a code phrase to make sure we are talking to each other..
How about
"I'm never going to give you up"

Let me know if this suits you ,,
Rick

Quote:

Its Cool.."I'm never going to give you up"

Show Details
Message body
"Lick Rastlry"
Its cool with me with the code, less i forget i wish to inform you that the last wished of Janet Brown was confidentiality (What not another chance to live) and funds getting to the right hand (What about the left), if you wish to send me my ticket fee for me to come down, it will cost you sending me $1,500USD. So why not send the requested of the £500euros to finish up funds release, sooner or later we will get to meet one on one personally ok.

Secoundly i only like dealing with the beneficary directly since you access your mail by yourself ok, please let the admin staff of yours not be in our person funds claim release to you, funds is optional and not complusory ok. I will not deal with anyone except you. so if you choose to send me my ticket fee, you should send me $1,500 or better still i will advise you to send requested £500euros fee for the funds transfer and send me in the bank account you want the funds to be transfferred immediately.

Thanks
Stephen Gates

Now all I have to do it get him to 'sing' the first few bars Laughing