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 I have a job!

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Hello I'm New here!

Joined: 20 Apr 2011
Posts: 7

PostPosted: Wed Apr 20, 2011 11:12 am Reply with quoteBack to top

I only just thought about adding it here so it may be a long post as this has been going on for a few days:


Cunard Line Yacht Hotel. UK, is a world leader in the super yacht industry. Specializing in the sale, charter, management and new construction of the largest and most important yachts. The company has an unrivaled reputation when it comes to performing for its clients at the very highest level.Cunard Line Yacht Hotel is recognized throughout the industry for personal service, transparency, commitment to quality and forward thinking. While other companies have fallen victim to global economic changes, Cunard Line Yacht Hotel Management has gone from strength to strength.

As world leaders in yachting our management department consistently provides expert representation, innovative solutions and services that resonate with today’s client demands. In 2008 we developed custom-built crew training programmes, recognizing that the quality of the crew is directly proportional to the enjoyment on board. Highly trained in service, safety and security, a crew trained by Cunard Line Yacht enhances a yacht’s service, appeal and value.

We want to use this medium to inform you that vacancies is now on, so
therefore do let us know if you have an interest in working in any of
the areas in which Cunard Line Yachting Company Job Offers,

If you are interested to work with us in any position, please kindly
send your resume or CV to the HR Dept via e-mail
Capt.Bruce Williams
(ccruiseline_rep AT hotmail DOT com)
immediately with your personal details including your roll of profession/Skill of

Capt. Bruce Williams

Wow, I have always wanted a cruise job!


I found your vacancy on Cunard Line Recruiting - Capt.Bruce Williams very interesting and was hoping to apply. Are you hiring boat drivers?

I have always wanted to drive a boat and your boats look very impressive from the photographs that I have seen of them. I have never seen one in real life though because I am poor and could never afford 1 day on board never mind 2 hole weeks! Maybe with my wages as boat driver I can finally get to vacation on one?

I hope you accept me, I have experience in McDonalds fast food and I have the world record for fastest time to be award my first star badge as a 16 year old. I am now 33 and I am about to be awarded my second gold star!

Please don’t let my lack of experience put you off, I am a very hard worker and very rarely get sea sick.

I hope to hear from you soon

Adrian Charles

First name I could think of, he is a presenter on UK TV.


Dear Adrian Charles
We appreciate your interest in working with us and we have open an application file with reference number 2011/UK/APR/SHY/3559.We have gone through your CV and We found the post of Motorman for you with salary amount of 5,500 GB Pounds per month.The destination is always from London to France,Ireland,Belgium,Norway,Wales and USA onboard the cruise ship.

The company will provide free accommodation ,Insurance (NIN) ,Flight Ticket,Tax Free and many more benefit you will see in your Appointment Letter.

Working Schedule:
Working Days & time: Monday to Friday: 8:00 AM - 6:00PM (GMT)

Saturday & Sunday: 10:00 Am - 4:00 PM (GMT)

Shift Time: Morning and Night.

Contract Period: 2 Years contract and it can be extended if only you wish to remain with our company

Vacation : 3 Month Vacation Interval for you to visit your love ones and family back home

As a notice of acceptance of job offer , we shall send you appointment and invitation letter for you to sign and return the sign copy back to us for record purpose . so therefore kindly let us know if you are satisfy with the salary rate above in order for us to proceed further.

We await to hear from you ASAP.


Peter Shanks

erm....I didnt send a cv......


The salary of £5,500 is what I expected for the year! I accept!

But I have to ask is what is a motorman?

It is a good wage to be fair


Dear Adrian Charles,

We want to use this opportunity in congratulating you in advance for accepting to join our company. How soon do you want to come or can you make it down here within the next three week as we are urgently in need of you to arrive here as soon as possible .If you know it is possible for you to arrive here within the next three weeks , kindly re-confirm the following details for the processing of your appointment and invitation letter.

*Full Name:.........................
*Contact Address:..............................
*Passport Photo face:.....................
*Date of Birth :.............................
*Phone Number:............................
*New Job Reference Number:.........................
*New Job Position:........................................

Kindly provide us the details listed above for us to proceed further and kindly keep record of your application reference number and we hope you are not attached to any company presently so that you will focus on your job application as we are highly in need of your service, and you are require to arrive here soon, if not kindly let us know now before you sign any contract agreement with us. So that you can pay more attention to your newly job ,if only you are really serious about this job offer.

We await your immediate response to this mail, this email contain the company Job Interview Questionnaire Form please fill and send it back for record purpose as well.

The Motorman is in charge of the cleaning and upkeep of all engines on board.


Peter Shanks

Wow he even personalised it to answer my question!


Applicant’s name Adrian Charles
Interviewer’s name Peter Shanks

Question Answer Interviewer Notes
Please check the box that apply

Why do you want to work in U.K?
( The Yacht of Cunard Line ) Because I live in the UK

What would you need in order to enjoy your time in the U.K and on Board? Money

Describe your plans for the future. What are your goals? To buy a boat and sail off into the sunset

Describe your general health. Tip top condition

Have you ever suffered from or sought treatment for depression, alcoholism, drug addiction or an eating disorder? Please explain. No, I enjoy food, and drink in moderation and I am always happy.

Has anyone in your family suffered from depression or alcoholism? Please explain. No

Describe any history of Job abuse in any company you have previously worked? I once ate a chicken nuggest that was about to be thrown away, but I had the managers permission as it had been on the floor. No other problems.

Describe where you were born and raised I was born in a hospital and raised in my Mum and Dads house until I was 15, the I moved into my Grandmas house, then I moved into my own flat.

Do you have any siblings? If so, how old are they? I have a baby sister who is 30

Describe the relationship you have with your siblings. We got for picnics together and long walks on the beach.

How often do you have contact with your family members? I live with my Mum and Dad so every day.

Describe your family’s support of your decision to work with The Yacht of Cunard Line in U.K. They want free holidays so are very supportive

What is your family’s reaction to you spending a year away from home? They have told me they want 50% of my wages to be sent home to prove I still love them.

Have you applied to or worked for this company before?
*Yes or No
* If yes please give details Yes
I was offered a job as a Cunard Representative but they wanted me to pay them lots of money which I didn’t have

When, where and for how long have you spent time away from home? I spent a weekend in jail for wee-ing in a public doorway, that was the only time spent away from home.

When, where and for how long have you traveled in English-speaking countries? I have been to Wales and Scotland but I don’t know if they speak English or not.

Are you willing to be placed with a Company that is of a different religion? How would you accommodate? There is only one religion. I learnt that in school.
I was told that you do not put trick questions in these forms.

What do you understand to be the key responsibilities of the position you have applied for? I will be in charge of the cleaning and upkeep of all engines on board

What did you like about your last Job experience? What did you dislike about it?
Job Title:
Starting salary:
Leaving salary: I got to eat lots of burgers.
I had to mop the floor
1 star Crew
I was paid £3.10 per hour
I am now paid £5.93 per hour 

Where and when did you complete any formal English or STCW courses? I don’t know what STCW means but I did English in school.
And my Mum also helped tutor me from home.

Which of your personal strengths will contribute to this role and why?
I am friendly, very trusting and always honest.

Please outline any voluntary activity including charity / community work I always volunteer to wash my Dads car and do the dishes.

How much notice do you require before leaving for a placement with your company? I need to tell them 14 days before I leave, they will be sad to see me go.

How can you relate with other crewmember or your subordinate on board?
I have no relations on board, but my family will want to visit me once a year.

What problems do you anticipate while working in your previous job? I am impatient so will want to start right away. I am also scared that my boss may ask me not to leave as I like him and always do as I am told. 

How do you feel about being placed with a Company of a different race or has different political views or beliefs? I didn’t know there was racing as well! This will be the best job ever as I am a very fast runner and even have medals to prove it.

This is the questionaire that he provided and my answers are pasted in as well

And my reply that I attached to the questionnaire


My full name is Adrian Charles
My contract address is 221a Baker Street, London, NW1 6XE
Passport face is mine
Date of birth is January 6th 1854
I don’t have a phone
Nationality is English
New Job reference number is 2011/UK/APR/SHY/3559
New Job position is Motorman

You have asked me to make it down here, where is here?

This is where I am up to, for those of you that dn't know, Baker Street is where Sherlock Holmes lived Wink
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Baiting Guru

Joined: 14 Nov 2005
Posts: 7992
Location: Luxury Coffin

PostPosted: Wed Apr 20, 2011 1:16 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

I have been to Wales and Scotland but I don’t know if they speak English or not.

Laughing The same thing applies to Geordieland as well!


Cleaning one of these should be a doddle after keeping the Mccarpark free of chewing gum.

the European Union has bounced on our freckles
our Agent is Completely broke, pocketless and stranded
You go die like bird
i started shouting HALLELUJAGOBBLE but none of them notice me immediately police arrested me due to the shouting
f*ck u asshole ur damn mother will loose ur fcuking skull brain ur brain is nothing to compare with rat f*ck ur u
I am not happy due to the question i answered at money office. Let me tell you do not play with me ok.
Pith Helmet 10
x4 United Kingdom New Zealand Mortar Closed lad accounts Sand Timer 6Yrs Tattoo x6 Flying Monkey
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Hello I'm New here!

Joined: 20 Apr 2011
Posts: 7

PostPosted: Wed Apr 20, 2011 2:54 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Just got my reply

Dear Adrian Charles
We are very sorry to inform you that we will be unable to provide you with a job offer here in the united kingdom but we can offer you a place of work in our branch in the united states of America,this was due to some other applicants that arrived requesting for their post of job.

We want you to please to do bear with us regarding this current situation and will be very glad if you accept the alternative offer as we are looking for applicants there in the united states.

We await your response so that we can proceed to the next step.

Thanks for your co-operation and understanding.

Peter Shanks.

So here is my comment


Whereabouts in America would I be based? I have an Uncle who lives in New York and would be nice to see him again. It is not important where I live, when you are paying me £5,500 a month I would live on the moon!

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Hello I'm New here!

Joined: 20 Apr 2011
Posts: 7

PostPosted: Wed Apr 20, 2011 3:11 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

And his reply


Thanks for your mail,we want you to know that you will be given accommodation and all other benefits as stated in our previous mail.

We will get back to you shortly concerning your appointment letter.

Thanks for your understanding.

Peter Shanks
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Hello I'm New here!

Joined: 20 Apr 2011
Posts: 7

PostPosted: Thu Apr 21, 2011 9:22 am Reply with quoteBack to top


Before I sign a contract I thought I should tell you that I have also received a job offer from White Star Lines asking me to work on board their new “superliner” that they have called HMS Luxury.

The pay is about the same but they said I can live in my Mums house still and they will pay for all travel to get on board HMS Luxury when I have to go to work. HMS Luxury will operate from North West England and travel to Ireland and then across the Atlantic to St Lucia in the Caribbean.

To help make up my mind, I asked them for a picture and the name of the boat I would be working on and I would like to ask you the same thing. I also asked if I could ever drive the boat and they replied that it is a possibility.


Please send me the photo and name of the boat right away because I would like to tell my boss that I am leaving for a better job.

Thank you


Maybe he might offer me a payrise!

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Hello I'm New here!

Joined: 20 Apr 2011
Posts: 7

PostPosted: Thu Apr 21, 2011 7:26 pm Reply with quoteBack to top


Dear Adrian Charles

Below is the request you made and the name of the boat.

Queen Mary 2 is the most magnificent ocean liner ever built. Her every detail hearkens to the Golden Age of Ocean Travel, while providing one of the most modern travel experiences on earth. From bow to stern, discover 14 spacious decks on which to relax and unwind; to indulge in pleasures and pursuits you never normally have time for. Opulent public areas, extravagant dining rooms, ballrooms, theaters, lounges.even the only Planetarium at sea. But words can only do such a lady so much justice. For to truly revel in the grandeur that is Queen Mary 2, you must sail with her. Indulge in every experience Queen Mary 2 has to offer on a 7 day Transatlantic cruise between Southampton and New York.

We hope you can decide on your future on which boat you wished to drive.

Thanks for your time and co-operation.

Peter Shanks
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Hello I'm New here!

Joined: 06 Apr 2011
Posts: 8
Location: Finland

PostPosted: Tue Apr 26, 2011 8:20 am Reply with quoteBack to top


this is to funny im nearly pissing on my self here

Cunard Lines was White Star Line, same company what had the Titanic......

im so amuzed by this

+1 to you

~ One should rather die than be betrayed. There is no deceit in death. It delivers precisely what it has promised. Betrayal, though ... betrayal is the willful slaughter of hope. ~
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Hello I'm New here!

Joined: 20 Apr 2011
Posts: 7

PostPosted: Tue Apr 26, 2011 10:10 am Reply with quoteBack to top

Just waiting till I have chance to print off the "contract" and will be sending it back to him on Wednesday (if I remember lol)
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