Part the Fourth, in which Aiwan recounts a dream

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Posted: Thu Mar 03, 2005 5:28 am

This is the story of a Hypersonic Comestibility Engineer named Aiwan Tatako who one day opens his mailbox to find a heartwrenching story about tidal waves, earthquake, death and money. Of course our hero has to do whatever he can to help these people out. Little do they know, they just stepped into the Twilight Zone.

Dramatis Personae:

Aiwan Tatako: our hero, a Hypersonic Comestibility Engineer (AKA A Fast Food Worker) for a major corporation. I couldn't figure out a fancy way of saying "McDonalds," so I just left it at "major corporation."

Tamadu Beta: The villain who's using the Tsunami to spin his scam, which pissed me off. Time to make the SOB suffer for his mistake.

Quote:

>From: "Tamadu M Beta" <[email protected]>
>To: [email protected]
>Subject: PLEASE WE NEED HELP
>Date: Tue, 22 Feb 2005 04:53:20 +0200

>GOOD DAY
> My name is Tamadu Matthew Beta, i am a victim of the
>Tsunami quake flood, i came to london some few days
>(6th of Dec. 2004) before the quake flood happen (26th
>Dec. 2004) i got information from skynews while in
>London that the quake flood killed people in my
>country Somalia and other countries, its realy sad for
>me cause i spoke with my parents few days before the
>quake flood, so i left UK and came back to my country
>somalia.
>I arrive my town and found out that it affected my family
>my mum and my dad including my brother all gone it was only
>my little sister of 8years remaining,i had to find her for
>a week and three days before i found her in a church there
>where lots of peoples there crying and searching for thier
>love one it was realy bad and sad,so i took her and we
>left,so we had to leave our country and come to Ghana but
>for a special reason.
>Hopefully latest me and my little sister will be leaving
>for Ghana next week for something very important to us at
>this moment in our life she is not scholling for now
>neither do i have a job at hand doing,please we need help
>in any way you can please i ll say bye for now and God
>bless you.
>Best Regard
>Tamadu.M.Beta

Quote:

From: Aiwan tatako <[email protected]>
Reply-To: Aiwan tatako <[email protected]>
To: [email protected]
Date: Tue, 22 Feb 2005 00:27:21 -0800
Subject: RE: PLEASE WE NEED HELP

Dear Tamadum Beeta,

It saddens my heart to hear your tragic tale. I am interested in
helping you out.

Sincerely,

Aiwan Tatako

Quote:

From: Tamadu M Beta <[email protected]>
To: Aiwan tatako <[email protected]>
Date: Wed, 23 Feb 2005 20:55:51 +0200
Subject: From Tamadu Beta

Dear Aiwan Tatako
How are you and your family please am very happy for your
reply to my mail Tatako,Tatako for me and my sister Tatako
we ll be leaving to Ghana on saturday Tatako for some thing
very important to our life in Ghana at this point but we
dont ve any relation nor friend there in Ghana to help us
wehn needed and wecant stay in our country any more cause
it more difficult for us now here Tatako so we ll be
leaivng,please i dont know if you can help us in any way
you can we ll be very greatfull Tatako i know you dont know
us more neither do we know you but at this time Tatako we
ve no choice rather to plead you for assisitance in any way
you can please Tatako i ll be wiating to hear form you bye
for now and God bless you.
Tamadu M Beta

Quote:

From: Aiwan tatako <[email protected]>
Reply-To: Aiwan tatako <[email protected]>
To: Tamadu M Beta <[email protected]>
Date: Thu, 24 Feb 2005 00:10:43 -0800
Subject: Re: From Tamadu Beta

Dear Tamadu,

Thank you for your message. I was very pleased to receive it. I
won't ask why you cannot stay in your country, but I imagine it's a
bad reason, else you would say. I would be happy to help you in any
way that I can.

Sincerely,

Aiwan Tatako

Quote:

From: Tamadu M Beta <[email protected]>
To: Aiwan tatako <[email protected]>
Date: Fri, 25 Feb 2005 01:55:11 +0200
Subject: Hello Aiwan Tatako

Dear Aiwan Tatako
Thank you for your mail again please am so happy to hear
from you.
Please i dont know much about you please can you tell me
who you are so i know you please where you from Aiwan
Tatako also please,i ll be very happy please.
Regarding our traveling we ll be leaving on saturday to
Ghana and i ll contact you and tell you when we arriev
please am so happy you understood us regard why we are
leaving our country cause that our best choice now please i
hope o hear from you and ll get back to you when we arrive
Ghana bye for now and thank for lling to help us send my
greeting to your family also and God bless all.
Best Regard
Tamadu Beta

Quote:

From: Aiwan tatako <[email protected]>
Reply-To: Aiwan tatako <[email protected]>
To: Tamadu M Beta <[email protected]>
Date: Fri, 25 Feb 2005 17:31:19 -0800
Subject: Re: Hello Aiwan Tatako

Dear Tamadu,

Thank you for replying, it's good to hear from you. I'm a Hypersonic
Comestibility Engineer for a major corporation that offers Prodigious
Oleaginous Comestibility Solutions for individuals and groups of
individuals. I was originally from Japan, but now live in the United
States.

You are going to Ghana? I have never travelled to Ghana, as I don't
even know where it is. South America? Africa?

Please tell me about yourself, good Tamadu. I am very curious to know
about you.

Sincerely,

Aiwan Tatako

"I'm a Hypersonic Comestibility Engineer for a major corporation that offers Prodigious Oleaginous Comestibility Solutions for individuals and groups of individuals" is just a ridiculously long way of saying "I'm a fast food worker."

Quote:

From: Tamadu M Beta <[email protected]>
To: [email protected]
Date: Tue, 01 Mar 2005 03:51:46 +0200
Subject: ITS TAMADU BETA SIR

Dear Aiwan Tatako
How are you,i do hope you are fine and your family hope
all fine.
Sir i am also sorry for the late reply to you please it
cause i had to leave for Ghana with my little sister which
i told you and we arrive yesterday in accra the capital
city,so we had to go live in a hotel for now sir we ve no
friend or relation to live with here so we go for the hotel
sir its a local hotel i ll say OYI HOTEL ACCRA GHANA that
the name of the hotel sir.
Sir please we dont ve a personal phone number now cause we
just arrive in the country and i dont know much about it
but they speak english well sir which make it not too
difficult for us,but soon as i get a phone number i ll tell
you to be reaching me sir.
Sir please we really ve to come to Ghanna to make thing
better for us and help less peoples like us also i do hope
you understand sir not cause of safety reason but some
thing very important to us very much sir,also sir thank you
very much for all yu said about yur self sir am very happy
hearing form you sir and hope to hear from yu again sir i
ll say bye for now and God bless you.
Best Regard
Tamadu Beta

Because of the problems explained later, our hero was unable to reply. Out of desperation, our villain sent the following:

Quote:

From: Tamadu M Beta <[email protected]>
To: Aiwan tatako <[email protected]>
Date: Wed, 02 Mar 2005 23:56:33 +0200
Subject: HELLO SIR

Dear Aiwan tatako
How are you sir i sent you a mail sir that me and my litle
sister had arrived Ghana but i didnt hear from you please i
do hope you are fine and safe.
Please sir we need your help please in any way you can help
us for a better life sir please i ll tell you more
regarding why we came to Ghana please but i ll only take a
matter of time when i ve done some research here in Ghana
my self please sir do understand me please it not going
fine and easy for us here all alone please we need your
help sir i do hope to hear form you please i ll be very
happy sir bye for now and God bless you.
Sincerly
Tamadu Beta

Quote:

From: Aiwan tatako <[email protected]>
Reply-To: Aiwan tatako <[email protected]>
To: Tamadu M Beta <[email protected]>
Date: Wed, 2 Mar 2005 20:57:36 -0800
Subject: Re: HELLO SIR

Dear Tamadu,

I'm sorry I haven't replied, I have been very busy recently, and have
not had time to reply. Give me another day or so, and I will reply.
We had a disaster in the Mobile Comestibility Response Unit, when one
engineer accidentally spilled some Glucosized Effervescent Dihydroxide
fluid on a Habitue Personnel, who became very angry, throwing his
entire experiment of Decocted Bovine Subsistence Refection, and a
large container of Ponaskified Solanum Tuberosum treated in Natrium
Chloride. This of course caused a chain reaction amongst other
Habitue Personnel, and soon the entire place was covered in Decocted
Bovine Subsistence Refection, Gelatinized Glucose Treated Red Dye No.
6 solution, and Ponaskified Solanum Tuberosum treated in Natrium
Chloride. It was a nightmare!!!!!!!

Now, you keep asking me for help, but you do not tell me what you need
help with. I am willing to do whatever it takes to assist you.
Please let me know what to do.

Sincerely,

Aiwan Tatako

Mobile Comestibility Response Unit = drive-thru

Glucosized Effervescent Dihydroxide fluid = Soda

Habitue Personnel = customer

Decocted Bovine Subsistence Refection = cheeseburger

Ponaskified Solanum Tuberosum treated in Natrium Chloride = french fries

To be continued...

Posted: Fri Mar 04, 2005 4:57 am

Ahh.... a response.... Tamadu mispelled her/his/its name to TTamadu. Which of course causes confusion with our dear Aiwan Tatako.

Quote:

From: Tamadu M Beta <[email protected]>
To: Aiwan tatako <[email protected]>
Date: Thu, 03 Mar 2005 20:50:14 +0200
Subject: From Tamadu Beta

DearAiwan Tatako
How are you sir and your family i do pray you are all fine
sir,am happy for you early reply Aiwan and thank you very
much sir.
Aiwan i dont know how to say this sir but please am
pleading you that you can help us in any way you can please
Aiwan,the hotel we living in now our bill will be expiring
on sunday this week please an we dont know how and what to
do please neither do i know how we can feed it going to be
difficult for us please but we ve to be here sir to face it
please Aiwan we ll be very happy if you can help us with
any thing sir we ll apprecite it now please and it ll be
of greathelp to us please Aiwan we are pleading for your
asistance sir.
I ll tell you more regarding our coming to Ghana Aiwan i
promise please it only a matter of time please sir we need
yoour help Aiwan,we dont ve any relation here of family
friend to plead for help sir so it not going to be easy for
us all our stay here till we leave please sir i hope to
hear from you Aiwan and sorry about the accident in your
company sir,i ll say bye for now and God bless you.
Best Regard
Ttamadu Beta

Flurried and confused, our hero replies with this:

Quote:

From: Aiwan tatako <[email protected]>
Reply-To: Aiwan tatako <[email protected]>
To: Tamadu M Beta <[email protected]>
Date: Thu, 3 Mar 2005 20:51:53 -0800
Subject: Re: From Tamadu Beta

To whom it may concern:

Who is TTamadu? I am a little confused. Are you still Tamadu, or are
you a differnt person named Ttamadu? If so, how did you get my email?
Did Tamadu give it to you? I am very confused.

Sincerely,

Aiwan Tatako

I think in the next email, I'm going to address him as Tammy Matty.

Posted: Sat Mar 05, 2005 10:12 am

Poor Mr. Tammy is apologetic about his typo.

Quote:

From: Tamadu M Beta <[email protected]>
To: Aiwan tatako <[email protected]>
Date: Fri, 04 Mar 2005 18:39:09 +0200
Subject: From Tamadu Matthew Beta

Sir it me Tamadu Matthew Beta i spelt my name wrongly am
sorry about that sir please i wait to hear from ou
regarding this my mail sir.

Our hero starts to think that Tammy Matty is a friend, and decides to become more congenial:

Quote:

From: Aiwan tatako <[email protected]>
Reply-To: Aiwan tatako <[email protected]>
To: Tamadu M Beta <[email protected]>
Date: Fri, 4 Mar 2005 23:10:07 -0800
Subject: Re: From Tamadu Matthew Beta

Dear Tammy Matty Beta,

Is it OK if I call you Tammy? Or, would you rather I call you Tamadu?

I thought it was you, but I was a little confused. I don't know how
folks in your country are, so I don't know if Tamadu and Ttamadu are
two different names.

Now, my dear friend Tammy Matty Beta, please tell me how I can help
you. You keep saying you need help, but you do not give any details.
Please give me details on how I can help.

Sincerely,

Aiwan

Now it's time when things start to get a little weird, and Rod Serling lurks around every corner.

To be continued...

Posted: Sat Mar 05, 2005 10:46 am

Aiwan recounts a dream he had the night before to Tammy Matty. And things start to get a little weird.

Quote:

From: Aiwan tatako <[email protected]>
Reply-To: Aiwan tatako <[email protected]>
To: Tamadu M Beta <[email protected]>
Date: Sat, 5 Mar 2005 02:39:44 -0800
Subject: Re: From Tamadu Matthew Beta

Dear Tammy Matty,

Last night, I had a very interesting dream, and I have to share it
with you, because it relates to our newfound friendship. I had a
dream about midgets who were dancing in a room surrounded by red
curtains, and they were all talking backwards. There was a beautiful
blond haired girl sitting next to them, saying nothing. Just smiling,
and smiling, and smiling. I didn't notice it at first, but she was
holding a small piece of paper. The backwards-talking midget danced
over to her, took the paper from her hand, and then danced around for
a bit longer.

He then said very clearly, "Laura."

The girl then looked at me and said, "The owls are silent and sad.
It's a strange night,"

The midget danced some more, and then danced over to me and handed me
the piece of paper.

The girl then said, "Through the darkness of futures past, look
forward. Through the darkness of futures present, look at the sheet,
that's where you'll sing again."

So, I opened the sheet, and it said "GHANA."

What does it all mean? Is this some kind of sign? Please let me know.

Aiwan

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