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 Muffy slaps a lad for calling her Sir - Long post

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TheDane
Just a waste of time


Joined: 13 Aug 2010
Posts: 5068
Location: Meanwhile, somewhere else...


PostPosted: Tue Apr 12, 2011 10:31 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

I have this lesbian character, Muffy Diver, who I mainly use for annoying Senegalese refugee campers and other female lad characters. Muffy is a blonde lesbian-feminist fitness instructor. And sometimes, her mail correspondance can turn into a riot...

Quote:
*From Tina Williams Dearest one,*
*** How was your day, I hope fine? it is my great desire of going into business and parental relationship with you. I am quite aware that my message will come to you as a surprise because is indeed very strange for someone you have not met before to contact you in this regard. My name is Tina Williams , from London , England the only Daughter of **late Frank Williams. He died mysteriously in France during one of his business trips Abroad . Though his sudden death was linked or rather suspected to have been master-minded by a brother of his who traveled with him at that time. But God knows the truth! My mother died when I was just 5 years old, and since then my father took me so special.***
*Before his death 2008 he called the secretary who accompanied him to the hospital and told her that he had a sum of USD 4,800,000.00 million American Dollars and the money is in the custody of LLOYDS TSB BANK Londonhere in England .***
*Now there is a trace that it is my uncle that kill him, couple with what he did to me recently so I decided to ran away from our family house to where I am now because he wanted to kill me too to take all the properties.Without knowing that there is this Money deposited in the Lloyds Tsb Bank in this country. I contacted you so that you will help me and see that this money is transferred to you as my guardian so that you will help me to invest and for me to continued my studies. I want you to assist me in clearing this fund into your account overseas as a beneficiary of the fund, and also use it for an investment purpose. I am just 20 years old and high school certificate holder; really don't know what to do.**
**Now I want an account overseas where I can transfer these funds. This is because I have suffered a lot of set backs as a result of incessant political crisis here in London. The death of my father actually brought sorrow to my life. I need someone to be my Guardian in life that I will look on to as my parents.Once the money is transferred, you will make arrangement for me to come over to you. Please can you be trusted? Do not be offended because of these question of mine. I am just serious to know more about you, because it is risk for me.Can you honestly help me as your daughter? Can you serve as a guardian of this fund since I am only 20 years? What percentage of the total amount in question will be good for you after the money is in your account?Can you make arrangement accommodation in your home or a new Place for me to come over to your country to further my education and also to secure a resident permit in your country? Please let me know your mine and how sincere you are, everything will be legally done and I hope that we can realize this with in seven Days.***
*Anticipating hearing from you urgently. Please, consider this and get back to me as soon as possible. With my direct email address (**tinawilliams441@gmail.com**)
**Thanks and God bless.*
*My sincere regards,*
* *
*Tina Williams.*


Muffy gives the classic reply...

Quote:
I am interested. Tell me more.


Tina tells me more:

Quote:
Dear Sir,

Thank you for your interest, I want to let you know that I have reached an agreement with a Financial Attorney to work in collaboration with you in securing the required legal document which will ensure hitch-free transfer of the fund into your local bank account adhering strictly to all the international monetary transfer policies in other not to breach any penal code both here and in your country.

You are free to ask him for any information's you stand in need of ok, The money is still in the custody of Lloyds Tsb Bank , as soon as the Attorney procure all the legal documents in your name , the bank will recognize you as the new owner , then they will verify the documents if it legit with the one they have , they will transfer the money in your bank account.

CONTACT PERSON: BARRISTER NICK WISBEY

EMAIL : barr_nick_wisbey77777@yahoo.com

Here is what you will send to him
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

Attn: Barrister Nick Wisbey

I am directed by Tina Williams, to contact you in respect to the transfer of ($4.8million) (u.s dollars) deposited in my favour with Lloyds TSB Bank (PLC).

I will appreciate if you can tell me what I will do in other to enhance the transfer to my account in your response email.

(Your names)
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

Tina Williams .


Muffy answers:

Quote:
Please, I need you to explain this to me in simple terms, as English
is not my first language.

Thank you.

Regards,
Muffy


Tina explains:

Quote:
Dear Muffy,

How are you doing today ? How will i explain this to you in simple terms? Ok good, let me put it this way . I WANT YOU TO HELP ME RECEIVE MY LATE DAD INHERITANCE IN YOUR BANK ACCOUNT , SO I CAN COME OVER TO YOUR COUNTRY AND START A NEW LIFE ALSO CONTINUE MY EDUCATION.

I WILL GIVE YOU %40 OF THE MONEY , WHEN IT GET TO YOU . MY WICKED UNCLE IS PLANING TO HARM ME , THAT IS WHY I WANT TO RUN AWAY FROM HIM
.

HAVE YOU CONTACTED THE LAWYER ? PLS EMAIL HIM , THE LAWYER WILL EXPLAIN BETTER OK.

CONTACT PERSON: BARRISTER NICK WISBEY

EMAIL : barr_nick_wisbey77777@yahoo.com

Here is what you will send to him
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

Attn: Barrister Nick Wisbey

I am directed by Tina Williams, to contact you in respect to the transfer of ($4.8million) (u.s dollars) deposited in my favour with Lloyds TSB Bank (PLC).

I will appreciate if you can tell me what I will do in other to enhance the transfer to my account in your response email.

(Your names) ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

Tina Williams .


Muffy gets annoyed:

Quote:
Miss,

Are you making fun of me? I asked you to explain your proposal to me in simple terms, but instead, you go through the effort of writing me a long mail - with complete absence of simple terms.

If you are just mocking me, we can stop this correspondance right now.

Muffy


Tina is not making fun:

Quote:
Dear Muffy ,

Am very sorry ok, am not making fun you . All i need from you is to help me receive my late Dad inheritance in your Bank account , so i can come over to your country and start a new life .

Can you help me ? Let me know ok, i have limit time . I want to run away from my wicked uncle.

Regards,

Tina..


Muffy is confused:

Quote:
You are still not making any sense.

Muffy


Tina makes sense:

Quote:
That is what i want from you , am making sense you know. I just need you to help stand as my next of kin , so we can transfer my late dad inheritance into your bank account.

tina.


Muffy doesn't get it:

Quote:
But I am not your next of kin. I am from another country and everything. I don't understand.

Muffy


Tina explains again:

Quote:
Dear Sir,

Thanks for your reply, yes, i know you are from another country , that was why i choose you , because i want to stay far from my wicked uncle , so i can forget about him and his family and start a new life .

I will advise you contact the Lawyer in charge of the inheritance with the contact address i gave to you , the lawyer will tell you what to do next , so the bank will recognize you as the new next of kin and transfer the inheritance to you .

CONTACT PERSON: BARRISTER NICK WISBEY
>>>>> >
>>>>> > EMAIL : barr_nick_wisbey77777@yahoo.com
>>>>> >
>>>>> > Here is what you will send to him
>>>>> >
>>>>> > ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
>>>>> >
>>>>> > Attn: Barrister Nick Wisbey
>>>>> >
>>>>> > I am directed by Tina Williams, to contact you in respect to the
>>>>> > transfer of ($4.8million) (u.s dollars) deposited in my favour with
>>>>> > Lloyds TSB Bank (PLC).
>>>>> >
>>>>> > I will appreciate if you can tell me what I will do in other to
>>>>> > enhance the transfer to my account in your response email.
>>>>> >
>>>>> > (Your names)
>>>>> > ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
>>>>> >
>>>>> > Tina Williams .


Muffy is suspicious;

Quote:
I will not contact anyone until I know that this is legit.


Tina assures Muffy:

Quote:
Hello Sir ,

Thanks for your reply , to be honest with you sir , the inheritance is real and legit . All the documents that will back you up , is with the lawyer in charge of the file .

Ok sir, what prove do you ? If is at my position i will show , if not the lawyer have the legal prove to show you. You are also free to ask him of any questions you need .

Pls sir , let me know your opinion if you will help , because the lawyer said i have only three working days from now to present the Man
that will stand as my Next of Kin , because am under age as a lady to stand for my self .

I will appreciate your urgent reply ,

Tina..


Muffy has had enough of this mockery:

Quote:
First of all, stop calling me Sir. Are you making fun of me? I'm a militant lesbian, and proud of it, and I'm sick and tired of people hinting that I'm a man. I'm not, so stop calling me sir. Call me Dike from now on, and give me an apology right away. This is just too much!

I don't trust lawyers. A lawyer threw me out of my house. But I have a way for you to prove yourself to me.

Muffy


Tina is sorry:

Quote:
Hello Dike ,

Am very sorry for calling you sir ok, how can we go about the inheritance now? But Dike , this Lawyer is a good man , all Lawyer are not the same ok., That lawyer that threw you out is a wicked man .
What prove do you need , if i may ask ? I ask the Lawyer if the next of Kin can contact the Bank direct , he said no that the next of kin most provide some info that will be use to do the change of ownership on his behalf .

Am waiting for your , reply . The lawyer said time is not on my side ,
delay might cost me the inheritance ..

Tina..


Muffy replies after a week. Amazingly, Tina hadn't mailed her during that week, so I thought I'd give the lad a poke:



Quote:
Hello Tina,

I haven't had the time to answer, but I'm back now.

Muffy


Tina gets confused:

Quote:
Thank you for your interest, I want to let you know that I have reached an agreement with a Financial Attorney to work in collaboration with you in securing the required legal document which will ensure hitch-free transfer of the fund into your local bank account adhering strictly to all the international monetary transfer policies in other not to breach any penal code both here and in your country.

You are free to ask him for any information's you stand in need of ok, The money is still in the custody of Lloyds Tsb Bank , as soon as the Attorney procure all the legal documents in your name , the bank will recognize you as the new owner , then they will verify the documents if it legit with the one they have , they will transfer the money in your bank account.


CONTACT PERSON: BARRISTER NICK WISBEY

EMAIL : barr_nick_wisbey77777@yahoo.com
Phone Number : +447-024046810

Here is what you will send to him
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

Attn: Barrister Nick Wisbey

I am directed by Tina Williams, to contact you in respect to the transfer of ($4.8million) (u.s dollars) deposited in my favour with Lloyds TSB Bank (PLC).

I will appreciate if you can tell me what I will do in other to enhance the transfer to my account in your response email.

(Your names)
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

Tina Williams .


Muffy still doesn't trust schysters:
Quote:

I already told you, I do not trust lawyers.

Muffy


Tina is sad:

Quote:
Hello ,

Thanks for your response , i have been crying and thinking, if you don't want to help me any more . Because after my prayers and fasting , my accepted you via divine favor .

I heard what you said about Lawyers , that you didn't trust them . I reason with you , i have told the Lawyer to procure all the documents in your names without you contact him , he agreed.

Can you give me your Full names , address and phone , so the the documents and change of ownership will be procure in your names . After that the Bank will contact you and instruct you on how you will get the inheritance transfer to you .

As soon as you provide the details , i will send it to the Lawyer , so he can procure the documents that will make the bank recognize you as the Next Of kin to the inheritance.

Immediately the Bank contact you , i will go to your Country Embassy and apply for Visa , so i can come to you and start a new life .

Thanks and God bless you ,

Tina.


Muffy feels sorry.

Quote:
Don't cry, hon. Muffy is here for you.


Tina jumps at the chance:

Quote:
Thanks for your email response , how are you doing ? Where is the info i ask from you ? Pls send it fast so i can forward it for urgent processing of the documents id your names .

Tina.


Muffy still doesn't like lawyers:

Quote:
I told you, I don't trust lawyers. I don't want a lawyer to have my
personal info.

Muffy


Tina fixes the lawyer again:

Quote:
Thanks for your response , i have told the Lawyer to back out , that my Next Of Kin , which is you , want to deal with the Bank direct .

The Lawyer said , he has backout , but all arrangement to release the FUND is done . The Lawyer said the Bank will contact you today or tomorrow .

Pls , if you hear from the Lawyer let me know ok . Pls tell me the name of your Country , so i will start now to apply for Visa . I want to be in your Country so we can plan how to invest the money .

Are you married sir ? Is your Full name (Mr. Muff Diver) ? That is the name i gave to the Lawyer to procure the documents , i will send you our copies Ok , as soon as i get it from him , he said he will forward the Bank their copies . Pls let me know . May God reward you for your help .

Tina.


Muffy gets furious:

Quote:
WHAT?!? Haven't I already told you not to call me Sir?!? I am a woman, a damn attractive one, may I add, and a militant lesbian! How dare you INSULT me like this, time after time?!? I try to help you here, but all I get is snide comments aboyr my sexual preferences. You think it is funny calling me "sir" just because I'm a lesbian? DO YOU? Haven't I told you to refer to me as "Dike"? I ant a good apology, or you can forget about me helping you!

Muffy


Tina is very sorry and confused:

Quote:
AM SORRY , PLS FORGIVE ME OKAY , AM JUST CONFUSE . CAN I BE YOUR LADY ? I WILL DO ANYTHING TO MAKE YOU HAPPY SEXUALLY , AM A VIRGIN . ALL I WANT IS TO CONTINUE MY EDUCATION AND MAKE MY DAD COME TRUE , HOW DOES LESBIAN WORK WITH THEIR SEX MATE ? CAN I HAVE SEE YOUR PICS ? I WILL DO WHAT EVER YOU WANT ME TO DO , SO THAT YOU WILL BE HAPPY OKAY . PROVIDED YOU WILL MAKE THE DREAM OF DAD COME TO PASS , BY HELPING ME CLAIM THE INHERITANCE .

I WILL SEND YOU THE DOCUMENT SOON , LET ME SCAN IT IS WITH ME NOW , THE BANK WILL CONTACT YOU TOMORROW MORNING MY TIME .

TINA.


I think Tina is a keeper. Twisted Evil

_________________
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Goat Milk Lad 2012-13:
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I AM A FOOL AND I AM SO DISAPPOINTED - Brother Okei AKA Goat Milk Lad
I do not wish my enemy what I have experienced and this humiliation you are putting me through - Rushforth (on behalf of Dharma & Dr Mike)

Last edited by TheDane on Wed Apr 13, 2011 11:56 am; edited 4 times in total
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Keitai
Not quite a Newb


Joined: 02 Feb 2011
Posts: 26


PostPosted: Wed Apr 13, 2011 3:07 am Reply with quoteBack to top

This is brilliant! I actually somewhat slapped a lad today for calling my very obvious teenage girl character a sir.

You've given me a lot of inspiration for a gay male character!
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Boris_YELLsome
Mr Repetitive


Joined: 03 Mar 2011
Posts: 872
Location: Nowhereville


PostPosted: Wed Apr 13, 2011 9:29 am Reply with quoteBack to top

I have a line in my sig (from a scammer) that would suggest all lawyers are the same... Laughing

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"please i will not like a situation whereby you call this innocent man funny names"
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TheDane
Just a waste of time


Joined: 13 Aug 2010
Posts: 5068
Location: Meanwhile, somewhere else...


PostPosted: Wed Apr 13, 2011 12:06 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Tina is learning from her mistakes.

Quote:
MY DAER DIKE , HOW ARE YOU DOING ? PLS READ BELOW AND CHECK ATTACHMENT
YOU WILL CONFIRM THE DOCUMENTS IN YOUR . THE BANK HAVE THEIR COPIES
THEY WILL CONTACT YOU TOADY . PLS WHEN WILL I COME TO YOUR COUNTRY AND MEET WITH YOU ? YOU HAVE NOT TOLD ME YOUR COUNTRY SO I WILL APPLY FOR
THE VISA .


FROM: NICK WISBEY & ASSOCIATES,
INTERNATIONAL FINANCE & BANKING ATTORNEYS,
6th Floor 289-293 High Holborn, London WC1V 7HZ.

TO THE KIND ATTENTION OF : Ms. Muff Diver ,

Following our last e-mail correspondence with Ms. Tina Williams ,find
attached a copy of this POWER OF ATTORNEY , DEATH CERTIFICATE and
DEPOSIT CERTIFICATE, which had been forwarded to LLOYDS TSB BANK
LONDON. respectively and accompanied with your full contact
information.

Considering the stringent MONETARY POLICY in London, we will seek your
permission to inform LLOYDS TSB BANK LONDON to carry-out your fund
transfer through the Transfer method we agreed on earlier with Ms.
Tina Williams .We need your approval on this in your response e-mail
so that we shall be well informed of what our highly esteemed client
want us to do for him.

After a very careful verification as an International Financial
Attorney in line with my discussion with LLOYDS TSB BANK LONDON
Remittance Director , i hereby inform you that transferring your fund
from LLOYDS TSB BANK LONDON will conclude in between 72 banking time
frame.

Yours in service,

Barr. Nick Wisbey.
Principal Partner.
NICK WISBEY & ASSOCIATES.


Lad attached 3 generic certificates. Inherently uninteresting, won't bother you with those, dear Reader.

Muffy replies.

Quote:
Hello Tina,

I don't understand. First you want me to have lesbian sex with you, and before I know it, you are asking me for money. Are you really interested in me and my gorgeous body, or are you just after some quick cash?

Muffy

_________________
Closed lad accounts x81 x3 Sand Timer x2 Vcamera x2 Easter Egg 2011 Goat Mortar Safari x13
Trafalgar Square 2013
Goat Milk Lad 2012-13:
Sand Timer T.W.A.T Santa Safari Lagos-Ouagadougou-Arbinda Safari Warri-Yaoundé

I AM A FOOL AND I AM SO DISAPPOINTED - Brother Okei AKA Goat Milk Lad
I do not wish my enemy what I have experienced and this humiliation you are putting me through - Rushforth (on behalf of Dharma & Dr Mike)
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SlapHappy
Body Eater


Joined: 15 May 2006
Posts: 9612
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PostPosted: Wed Apr 13, 2011 1:46 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Laughing Is this lad thick much? Laughing

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TheDane
Just a waste of time


Joined: 13 Aug 2010
Posts: 5068
Location: Meanwhile, somewhere else...


PostPosted: Wed Apr 13, 2011 10:20 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Muffy is confused.

Quote:
Hello Tina,

I don't understand. First you want me to have lesbian sex with you,
and before I know it, you are asking me for money. Are you really
interested in me and my gorgeous body, or are you just after some
quick cash?

Muffy


Tina is not asking for money.

Quote:
Am not asking you for money ok , i want you to help me receive my late
Dad Inheritance in your Bank account , so i will come over to you ok .

Let me know if you have heard from the Bank yet , do you receive the
documents ? Take care of your self ok.

Tina.


Muffy is relieved.

Quote:
No, I haven't heard from the bank, and I sure hope you didn't give my
mailaddress to them without my permission. That would anger me more
than words can say. I only saw what you sent me yourself, but that was
not from the bank, that was from you.

So, you are saying that I don't have to pay anything? Well, in that
case, what are we waiting for?


...uh-oh...

Quote:
Hello Dike ,

Am sorry , i gave them your name and email address
, that was why they
procure the documents in your names . Am very sorry .


Muffy is shocked!

Quote:
I don't know what to think or what to do with you. One minute, you
want to come to my country, and you say you want to live with me and
have sex with me. We could have done the Butterfly! But then, you
betray my trust, just like that. I am very sad, and very disappointed
in you. I feel betrayed.

You will have to give me a handwritten apology of we are to continue.
I am deeply hurt.

Muffy


I think this one is stupid enough to do it. Twisted Evil

_________________
Closed lad accounts x81 x3 Sand Timer x2 Vcamera x2 Easter Egg 2011 Goat Mortar Safari x13
Trafalgar Square 2013
Goat Milk Lad 2012-13:
Sand Timer T.W.A.T Santa Safari Lagos-Ouagadougou-Arbinda Safari Warri-Yaoundé

I AM A FOOL AND I AM SO DISAPPOINTED - Brother Okei AKA Goat Milk Lad
I do not wish my enemy what I have experienced and this humiliation you are putting me through - Rushforth (on behalf of Dharma & Dr Mike)
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Boris_YELLsome
Mr Repetitive


Joined: 03 Mar 2011
Posts: 872
Location: Nowhereville


PostPosted: Wed Apr 13, 2011 11:12 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Thumbs up

I can only hope.

Also 'the butterfly' rofl Laughing

_________________
Easter Egg 2011
Closed lad accounts x25 x65 United Kingdom x2 Nigeria
Pith Helmet C0nv0y/P4tr1ck Co-Bait with Baitsamurai: Lagos - Abuja - Lagos - Cotonou
Cannot confirm nor deny I am part of any club having to do with Todgers
<i>"I am so sorry if i sound rude,please pardon me for God's sake"</i>
"please i will not like a situation whereby you call this innocent man funny names"
"let us try to tell our selves the truth sometimes, despite all lawyers are liars."
"I AM A VERY BUSY MAN AND HAVE NO TIME FOR FOLLY"

-
NICOMPOOL, DIE YOUNG K.
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Vinata Giolla
Master Baiter


Joined: 11 Oct 2010
Posts: 139


PostPosted: Wed Apr 13, 2011 11:39 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

I'm looking forward to more Mr. Green

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